_An elevation and rockery in_ FRÜYSECK'S _back-garden, from
which--but for the houses in between--an extensive view over the
steamer-pier and fiord could be obtained. In front, a
summer-house, covered with creepers and wild earwigs. On a bench
outside_, MOPSA _is sitting. She has the inevitable little
travelling-bag on a strap over her shoulder._ BLOCHDRÄHN _comes up
in the dusk. He, too, has a travelling-bag, made of straw,
containing professional implements, over his shoulder. He is
carrying a rolled-up handbill and a small paste-pot._
_Sanitary Engineer Blochdrähn_ (_catching sight of_ MOPSA'S
_handbag_). So you really _are_ off at last? So am I. _I_'m going by
train.
_Mopsa_ (_with a faint smile_). Are you? Then _I_ take the steamer.
Have you seen ALFRED anywhere about--or SPRETA?
_San. Eng. Bloch._ I have been seeing a good deal of _Mrs._ FRÜYSECK.
She asked me to come up here and paste one of these handbills on the
summer-house. To offer a reward for Little MOPSËMAN, you know. I've
been sticking them up everywhere. (_Busied with the paste-pot._) But
you'll see--he'll never turn up.
_Mopsa_ (_sighing_). Poor SPRETA! and oh, poor _dear_ ALFRED! I really
don't know if I _can_ have the heart to leave him.
_San. Eng. Bloch._ (_pasting up the bill_). I shall not believe it
myself until I actually see you _do_ it. But why shouldn't you come
along with me, if you _are_ going--h'm?
_Mopsa._ If you were only a married man--but I have to be so careful
_now_, you know!
_San. Eng. Bloch._ It tortures me to think of our two handbags each
taking its own way; it really does, Miss MOPSA. And then for me to
have to plumb all by myself. Though, to be sure, one can always get
round the district surveyor alone.
_Mopsa._ Ah, yes, _that_ you can surely manage alone.
_San. Eng. Bloch._ But it takes two to connect the ventilating shaft
with the main drainage.
[Illustration: "It takes two to connect the ventilating shaft with the
main drainage."]
_Mopsa_ (_looking up at him_). Always two? Never more? Never many?
_San. Eng. Bloch._ Well, then, you see, it becomes quite a different
matter--it cuts down the profits. But are you sure you can never make
up your mind to share my great new job with me?
_Mopsa._ I tried that once--with ALFRED. It didn't quite
answer--though it was delightful, all the same.
_San. Eng. Bloch._ Then there really _has_ been a bright and happy
time in your life? I should never have suspected it!
_Mopsa._ Oh yes, you can't think how amusing ALFRED was in those days.
When he distinguished himself by failing to pass his examinations, and
then, from time to time, when he lost his post in some school or
other, or when his big, bulky manuscripts were declined by some
magazine--with thanks!
_San. Eng. Bloch._ Yes, I can quite see that such an existence must
have had its moments of quiet merriment. (_Shaking his head._) But I
_don't_ see what in the world possessed ALFRED to go and marry as he
did.
_Mopsa_ (_with suppressed emotion_). The Law of Change. Our latest
catchphrase, you know. ALFRED is so subject to it. So will _you_ be,
some day or other!
_San. Eng. Bloch._ Never in all my life; whatever progress may be made
in sanitation! (_Insistently._) Can't you _really_ care for me?
_Mopsa._ I might--(_looking down_)--if you have no objection to go
halves with ALFRED.
_San. Eng. Bloch._ I am behind the times, I daresay; but such an
arrangement does _not_ strike me as a firm basis for a really happy
home. I should certainly object to it, most decidedly.
_Mopsa_ (_laughs bitterly_). What creatures of convention you men are,
after all! (_Recollecting herself._) But I _quite_ forgot. I am
conventional _myself_ now. You are perfectly right; it _would_ be
utterly irregular!
_Alfred_ (_comes up the steps_). Is it you, BLOCHDRÄHN, that has
posted up that bill? On the new summer-house!
_San. Eng. Bloch._ Yes, Mrs. FRÜYSECK asked me to.
_Alfred_ (_touched_). Then she _does_ miss Little MOPSËMAN, after all!
Are you going? Not without _MOPSA?_
_San. Eng. Bloch._ (_shaking his head_). I did invite her to accompany
me; but she won't. So I must make my jobs alone.
_Alfred._ It's so horrible to be alone--or _not_ to be alone, if it
comes to that! (_Oppressed--to himself._) My troll is at it again! I
shall press her to stay--I _know_ I shall--and it will end in the
usual way!
_Spreta_ (_comes up the steps, plaintively_). It _is_ unkind of you
all to leave me alone like this. When I'm so nervous in the dark, too!
_Mopsa_ (_tenderly_). But I _must_ leave you, SPRETA, dear. By the
next steamer. That is----Well, I really _ought_ to!
_Alfred_ (_almost inaudibly, hitting himself on the chest_). Down, you
little beggar, down! No, it's no use; the troll _will_ keep popping
up! (_Aloud_) Can't we persuade you, dear MOPSA? Do stay--just to keep
SPRETA company, you know!
_Mopsa_ (_as if struggling with herself_). Oh, I want to so much! I'd
do _anything_ to oblige dear SPRETA!
_San. Eng. Bloch._ (_to himself, dejectedly_). She is just like that
Miss HILDA WANGEL for making herself so perfectly at home!
_Spreta_ (_resignedly_). Oh, _I_ don't mind. After all, I would rather
ALFRED philandered than fretted and fussed here alone with me. You had
better stay, and be our Little MOPSËMAN. It will keep ALFRED
quiet--and that's _something_!
_Mopsa._ No; it was only a temporary lapse. I keep on forgetting that
I am no longer an emotional Cuckoo heroine. I am perfectly
respectable. And I will prove it by leaving with Mr. BLOCHDRÄHN at
once--if he will be so obliging as to escort me?
_San. Eng. Bloch._ Delighted, my dear Miss MOPSA, at so unexpected a
bit of good luck. We've only just time to catch the steamer.
_Mopsa._ Then, thanks so much for a quite _too_ delightful visit,
SPRETA. So _sorry_ to have to run away like this! (_To_ ALFRED, _with
subdued anguish_.) I am running away--from _you_! I _entreat_ you not
to follow me--not _just_ yet, at any rate!
_Alfred_ (_shrinking back_). Ah! (_To himself._) If it depends upon
our two trolls whether----. (MOPSA _goes off with_ Sanitary Engineer
BLOCHDRÄHN.) There's the steamer, SPRETA.... By Jove, they'll have a
run for it! Look, she's putting in.
_Spreta._ I daren't. The steamer has one red and one green eye--just
like MOPSËMAN'S at mealtimes!
_Alfred_ (_common-sensibly_). Only her lights, you know. She doesn't
mean anything _personal_ by it.
_Spreta._ But they're actually mooring her by the very pier
that----How can they have the _heart!_
_Alfred._ Steamboat companies have no feelings. Though why _you_
should feel it so, when you positively loathed the dog.
_Spreta._ After all, you weren't so particularly fond of him yourself;
now _were_ you, ALFRED?
_Alfred._ H'm, he was a decent dog enough--for a mongrel. I didn't
_mind_ him; now you _did_.
_Spreta_ (_nods slowly_). There is a change in me now. I am easier to
please. I could share you with the mangiest mongrel, if I were only
quite sure you would never again want to follow that minx MOPSA,
ALFRED!
_Alfred._ I never said I _did_ want to; though I can't answer for the
troll. But I must go away _somewhere_--I'm such a depressing companion
for you. I shall go away up into the solitudes--which reminds me of an
anecdote I never told either you or MOPSA before. Sit down and I will
tell it you.
_Spreta_ (_timidly_). Not the one about the night of terror you had on
the mountains, ALFRED, when you lost your way and couldn't find a
policeman anywhere about the peaks? Because I've heard _that_--and I
don't think I _can_ stand it again.
_Alfred_ (_coldly and bitterly_). You see that I have really nothing
to fill up my life with, when my own wife refuses to listen to my
anecdotes! Now MOPSA always---- What is all that barking down there in
the town?
_Spreta_ (_with an outburst_). Oh, you'll see, they've found Little
MOPSËMAN!
_Alfred._ Not they. He'll _never_ be found. Those handbills of yours
were a mere waste of money. It is only the curs fighting in the
street--as usual.
_Spreta_ (_slowly, and with resolution_). Only that, ALFRED. And do
you know what I mean to do, as soon as you are away solitudinising up
there in the mountain hotels? I will go down and bring all those poor
neglected dogs home with me.
_Alfred_ (_uneasily_). What--the whole _lot_ of them, SPRETA?
(_Shocked._) In our Little MOPSËMAN'S place!
_Spreta_ (_firmly and decidedly_). Every one. To fill Little
MOPSËMAN'S place. They shall dig up his bones, lie on his mat, take it
in turns to sleep in his basket. I will try to--h'm--lighten and
ennoble their lot in life.
_Alfred_ (_with growing uneasiness_). When you simply detest all dogs!
I don't know _anyone_ less fitted than you to manage a Dog's Home. I
really don't!
_Spreta._ I must fill the void in my life _somehow_--if you go and
leave me. And I must educate myself to _understand_ dogs better,
that's all.
_Alfred._ Yes, that you would _have_ to do. (_As if struck with an
idea._) Before you _begin_. Suppose I take up my big fat book on
_Canine Idiosyncrasy_ once more, eh? That would teach you how to
purify and ennoble every poodle really scientifically, you know. Only
you must promise to wait till I've got it _done_.
_Spreta_ (_with a melancholy smile_). I am in no hurry ALFRED. Only to
write that you would have to remain at home.
_Alfred_ (_half evasively_). Not necessarily. I _might_, of
course--for a while, that is. But I shall have many a heavy day of
work before me, SPRETA, and you will see, now and then perhaps, a
great slumberous peace descend on me as I toil away in my brown
study--but I shall be making wonderful progress all the same.
_Spreta._ I shall quite understand _that_, ALFRED. Oh, dear, who in
the world's this?
[The VARMINT-BL[=O]K _appears mysteriously in the gloom_.
_The Varmint-Bl[=o]k._ Excuse me, Captin, and your sweet ladyship, but
I just happened to drop my eye on one of those lovely little
hand-billikins here, and took the liberty to step up, thinking it
might so happen that you'd been advertising the very identical dawg
what followed me home the other day. You may remember me passing the
remark how wonderful partial dawgs was to me. So I brought him up on
the chance like.
[_He produces_ Little MOPSËMAN--_in mufti--from a side-pocket_.
_Spreta._ It _is_ our Little MOPSËMAN! So you are _not_ some
supernatural sort of shadowy symbol after all, then?
_The Varm.-B._ (_hurt_). Now I ask you, lady--do I look it? Here's my
professional card. And if you _should_ have the reward handy---- (_As_
ALFRED _pays him_.) Five Rix dollarkins--correct, my lord, and thankee
kindly. (_As he departs._) You'll find I've learned that sweet little
mongrel a thing or two; take the nonsense out of any rat in Norway
_now_, he will. And just you ask him to set up and give three cheers
for Dr. IBSEN--that's all!
[_He goes out, chuckling softly._
_Alfred_ (_holding out_ Little MOPSËMAN _at arms' length_). H'm; it
will be a heavy day's work to purify and ennoble this poodle after all
he has been through, eh, SPRETA? I think, as you seem to have
developed quite a taste for such tasks, I shall allow _you_ to
undertake it--all by yourself.
_Spreta_ (_turns away with her half-teasing smile_). Thanks!