SANCTUARY
When Hugh Oldys left Poppea by the graveyard gate, her first blind
impulse was to hide somewhere, anywhere from familiar faces, this being
an instinct common to all healthy young animals when either physically
hurt or in trouble. Knowing as she did all the by-ways, lanes, and pent
roads of the entire township, the very last thing she thought of was to
follow the highway or any of its cross-roads. So when Hugh was peering
among the shadows of the walls and bushes that hedged them on either
side, Poppea was crossing the graveyard toward the Northeast gate by
which they had entered, flitting swiftly behind the larger stones for
concealment.
She had no voice to answer Hugh's call even if she had wished to; her
throat was contracted and dry, and to her ears, still ringing with the
rush of blood brought by the first shock, his voice sounded miles away.
When finally she heard the rattle of the milk wagon going unmistakably
downhill, she stopped her efforts at concealment, and walking directly
to the round hill above the graveyard took such a view of the
surroundings as the dusk would allow. The bitter north wind sweeping
down from the hill-country turned her about when she faced in that
direction, putting an end to a wild idea she had of spending the night
in a rough camp the young people had made the previous summer in the
hemlock woods. The Moosatuck was already being outlined by many bonfires
and all the lanterns that the young folks could collect, for they meant
to make the most of what might prove the only snowless skating of the
winter.
The village lights began to twinkle below, and an up train, stopping at
Harley's Mills Station, drew out again, taking long breaths, and,
creeping through the fields like a great glow-worm, made its way toward
Bridgeton. There would be a down train in a quarter of an hour; could
she reach the station in time, she might gain the last car from the
brook side of the track without being seen.
Then she realized that she had no money, and the Felton ladies, her only
friends in what was to her the fathomless mystery of New York, were at
Quality Hill. Could she have gone to Mrs. Oldys, sure of finding her
alone, and begged to be hidden for a few days, that would have suited
her mood and necessities the best. As she closed her eyes for a moment,
she saw the peaceful picture of Mr. Oldys sitting with his evening paper
by the fire in the library of endless books in their white, varnished
cases, discussing the doings of the day with Hugh. Through the doorway
into the dining room was a glimpse of white-clothed table, a jar of
flowers, and the delicate outlines of Mrs. Oldys' sensitive face, as she
bent over the great silver tray, tea-caddy in hand, watching for the
first puff of steam from the kettle in order to complete the brewing of
her perfect tea, and summon the father and son to table.
To go there would be once more to give herself up to all the dearest
things of home that she had experienced through the kindness of friends,
but thought that she must forever more lack; but above all, she was held
back by a bitter feeling of resentment toward those who had been kind to
her, for had they not all banded to deceive her? she, who was nobody,
saved from charity possibly,--so quickly did her mind travel ahead of
what she knew,--from being a town charge! At this bitter moment, the
conventional expression came back to her as applied to a child who was
being brought up by the widow Baker, much being expected of her and
little done for the girl.
Poppea did not analyze her feelings, she was too young and too miserable
for any logical reasoning; it was only that impressions crowded her
brain with the rapid confusion of a nightmare, and at this moment the
germs of two distinct natures began to develop rapidly: one sensitive
and emotional; the other stern, proud, and unflinching to the verge of
stubbornness.
For a few moments she stood thus, overlooking the village, the upland,
and marsh meadows that stretched to salt water, until it seemed that the
winking eyes of the lights, one red and one yellow, that guarded the
entrance of the shallow bay, were beckoning her to come to them. As she
waited, a curtain dropped about her from the clouds, and fine, crisp
snowflakes melted upon her upturned face.
Then she began to walk rapidly through the pasture, but whichever way
she turned thickets of bay or huckleberry bushes caused her to go back,
until, tired with groping, her feet found a worn track, one of the many
cow-paths that wound about the lot. Keeping to it, no longer trying to
think but walking blindly, she slipped and lost the narrow hollow worn
smooth in the thick old turf; then picking it up again, stumbled on.
After she had gone many miles, as she thought, the path came to some
bars; two of these were down, left so probably since the cows had made
their last homeward trip in November. On the other side of the bars, the
path that had previously zigzagged down a steep hillside continued on a
level, and the whistle of a locomotive sounded very near.
In a few minutes more a great hayrick stopped her short, and feeling a
way around it, she could see two cows, who were pulling their supper
from one side of the stack that had been hollowed into a sort of shelter
by many such meals. Then a lantern shone a few steps ahead, and a voice,
that she recognized as belonging to an old neighbor of their own, called
the cows into the shelter of the barnyard.
Poppea, finding that she had travelled only a mile and was within a few
feet of the village street, and thinking that the farmer had awakened
and come to protect his cattle from the storm, was tempted to crawl into
the hay for warmth and rest; her feet were almost without feeling, her
hood and muffler were frayed in many places; she shivered so that she
had bitten her tongue until it bled, and faintness was creeping over
her.
As she groped to find a place where the hay was loose enough to make a
place for her body, the clock in the tower of St. Luke's struck
melodiously, not counting out ten or eleven strokes as Poppea expected,
but stopping short at six.
It was the joy of Stephen Latimer that both clock and bells sent forth a
cheerful message of love and hope for what good time might bring forth
rather than a warning of passing hours. 'Lisha Potts had once voiced
this interpretation with his characteristic direct emphasis, saying one
day to Miss Emmy, who had given the bells and was asking his opinion of
them:--
"Yes, marm, they're real coaxin', persuasive, and comfortable; the First
Church bell allers calls jerky like, 'Re-pent, re-pent, re-pent,' and
the Hill Meeting House's says, 'H E L L! HELL! _Hell!_' plain as words,
so's I don't feel called to go, though they do say bein' set against a
rock has a powerful lot to do with the expression."
Be this as it may, the chimes had hardly ceased when Poppea left the
haystack and found her way to the main road through another pair of
bars, familiar to all the village children as the daily short cut to the
Academy. Perhaps the church door might be unlocked, it often was; surely
no one would look for her there.
The snow flurry was one of a series of squalls, that stopped long enough
for her to see her way across the road, also that a dim light came
through the chancel window. Then the snow began to fall again in large,
loose flakes that quickly filled her footprints.
Her scarf caught upon one of the shrubs that lined the bit of flagged
path from road to door, and when she had pulled herself free, she
noticed that the outer porch door stood open; then the notes of the
organ reached her.
What day was it? It took her a full minute to remember that it was
Wednesday, the afternoon upon which Stephen Latimer played the organ,
only it was much later than he usually stayed. Expecting that the people
might come out at any moment, Poppea tried to turn away, but she was
nearly spent. Pulling herself into the vestibule with great effort, she
looked through the diamond panes of the inner door into the church; it
was quite empty save for the figure of Latimer himself at the organ, a
single lamp above his head breaking the darkness. The truth being that
the skating carnival had drawn all the people toward the Moosatuck, and
finding himself alone, Latimer had this day let loose his very soul,
dreaming and playing on, oblivious of time or falling night.
Cautiously Poppea pushed open the felt-edged door and crept into the
church, watching intently for any move on the part of the player. Once
within she slipped into the first of the pair of pews, that were in the
deep shadow of the loft that once held the organ before the new
instrument had been placed beside the chancel. The backs and door ends
were high to keep out draughts; likewise these pews were seldom used
except for the infant class. Sinking upon the tufted seat, after trying
in vain to sit up, she gradually took a half-crouching position, her
head and shoulders supported by one of the little carpet footstools.
Oh! the unspeakable relief of it, after the hour out in the storm, this
being surrounded once more by friendly walls, the sudden cessation of
cold, the light, the subtle fragrance of the fir trees and pine of the
Christmas greens, and the sight of a human being who was, at the same
time, unconscious alike of her presence as of her misery.
Stephen Latimer, sitting upon the organ bench with the soft light of the
oil lamp outlining his face, looked little, if any, older than on the
day when he had baptized Poppea. It was his double vocation that kept
him young, for in reality he led two separate lives: in one he was the
tireless and sympathetic priest; in the other, romanticist, musician,
and dreamer. To-night he was leading this second life to the full. Once
he set the stops in order as though he had finished, then releasing a
few of the more delicate, he began to improvise, weaving together the
themes of the Christmas carols in which he had been drilling his little
choir throughout the Advent season. The very joy of the strains seemed
to mock the young girl listening back among the shadows, and she sat
upright with a gesture almost of impatience, so far away seemed the
singing and lighted tree of Christmas Eve.
Presently his mood dropped from exalted joy down into the depths of
stern reality, and the little church began to tremble with the opening
chords of the _Stabat Mater_ of Rossini.
Poppea knew nothing of the meaning of the music or the idea that it
interpreted, yet the emotion of it seized upon her, and she felt that
something inexplicable had found her in the dark hiding-place, and was
struggling with her body and soul. Her breath came quick and fast when
Latimer began the massive splendor of _Cujus Animam_, and when he let
the stop _Vox Humana_ sing the unpronounced words of _Sancta Mater_, it
seemed as though she must cry out, while the _Amen_ exalted her, but
painfully, and without final relief.
Evidently, it had somewhat the same effect upon the organist, for he
stopped abruptly, wiped his forehead, that was beaded by the masterly
exertion, and, passing his hand wearily across his eyes, shut off the
stops still quivering with passion, leaving only _Vox Humana_, and then,
after a moment's pause, played the hymn of childhood, as though
convinced that in its simplicity alone lay peace.
"Gentle Jesus, meek and mild,
Look upon a little child."
Poppea rose to her feet, grasping the back of the seat in front of her:
the hymn was the first that Gilbert had taught her while she still slept
in the hooded cradle. At last God was merciful: the tension broke; tears
rained from her strained eyes and began to quench the fire in her brain.
Burying her face in her hood to stifle the blessed sobs, she again
crouched in the pew corner.
At the same time, the door opened and Mrs. Latimer came into the church;
feeling her way, she steadied herself by the door of the pew where
Poppea lay until her eyes focussed to the surroundings. As Latimer
reluctantly closed the keyboard with the lingering of one parting from a
friend, she called, walking toward him as she spoke: "Stevie dear, what
have you been about? It is half-past seven and the popovers that I made
for tea have grown quite discouraged. I was expecting you hours ago, but
Hugh Oldys came rushing in looking so ghastly that he put everything
else out of my head. He was coming home with Poppy Gilbert from skating,
they took the short cut across the graveyard--" then, as Mrs. Latimer
reached her husband, she leaned over his shoulder and finished the
sentence, but the crouching girl knew its import perfectly.
In a moment, husband and wife were hurrying from the church. As Stephen
Latimer stooped to bolt the swinging inner door, Poppea heard Mrs.
Latimer say, "Elisha Potts and Hugh are hunting everywhere, but if they
do not find her by nine o'clock, don't you think we would better ring
the church bells to collect the skaters and have a general search?"
"Yes, if it must be; but I wish we could find some less public way of
reaching her, she is such a sensitive child, yet very proud beneath the
surface. Do you know, Jeanne, she very often reminds me of you yourself.
If you had fled before a cruel hurt, would you like to be brought home
by the ringing of bells?"
"No, Stevie, all I should need _now_ would be time to remember and know
that you were waiting for me with your arms outstretched."
Then the doors closed, and Poppea was a prisoner. Yet in those few
moments she had been given a glimpse of the perfection of one of the
great mysteries of life, and it made a lasting impression on the soul of
the girl who was pushed into womanhood in a single night. For the time
being she had what she most needed, rest and silence, with the single
lamp that had been forgotten, to prevent the oppression of darkness. She
was too physically numb to care what happened during the next hour or
realize the possible necessity of the ringing of the bells. Fixing
herself as comfortably as might be on the narrow seat, she fell into a
heavy sleep pillowed by the little carpet stool worn bare by the
restless feet of the infant class children.
* * * * *
Meanwhile 'Lisha Potts and Hugh Oldys had gone to all the places where
Poppea would have been likely to take refuge, and finally, a little
before nine o'clock, meeting with Stephen Latimer at the Feltons', where
they snatched a hasty supper, held an impromptu consultation.
"Do you think," sobbed Miss Emmy, "that she could have drowned herself?
It's all open water below the dam at Harley's Mills."
"No," almost shouted Latimer, "and do not let us give the ugly thought
shape even by suggestion. To a healthy-minded, responsible girl such as
Poppea, the idea would not even occur, for suicide is the final proof of
irresponsibility. That she may be wandering, dazed, in the bay marshes
is my greatest fear; still, before we make a general hue and cry, let us
go back to Gilbert's and ask him his exact wishes. Whoever may be her
father after the flesh, Gilbert is now according to the law."
"Yes," seconded 'Lisha, "we'd best go back and ask Daddy, and keep a
good lookout by the way. She may head for home after a while, but not
have push enough to get there."
For the third time during the twelve hours the mood of the weather had
changed. The wind had parted and banished the heavier snow clouds, and
the moon, edging its way persistently through those that remained, made
the lanterns that the three men carried almost unnecessary.
* * * * *
Oliver Gilbert had sorted and distributed the seven o'clock mail, closed
the post-office at the earliest legal moment, and was sitting by the
kitchen fire; that is, he sat there in the brief intervals when he was
not peering from the window toward the road or listening at the
different doors where the wind kept up a disconcerting tapping and
rattling.
For the third time Satira Pegrim spread supper before her brother, but
she had ceased urging him to eat. Mixing his coffee exactly to his
taste, she set it close to his elbow and then silently left the room. As
she closed the door at the bottom of the attic stairs and began a
creaking ascent, Gilbert called after her: "Satiry, will you fetch the
pair of little iron fire dogs from under the eaves when you come down?
They lie to the north side under where the seed corn is hung."
Noticing the food apparently for the first time, he ate a few morsels,
drank the coffee slowly, and then going to the side porch collected a
large armful of logwood topped with kindlings which he proceeded to
carry upstairs with no little difficulty, and coming in collision with
his sister on the landing at the top.
"Sakes alive, man, what are you doing!" she cried, almost dropping the
heavy andirons.
"I'm going to take out the chimney board in Poppy's room and start a
fire so's it will look real cheerful when she comes home--for--she'll be
tired and cold--most like. Mayhap the hearth'll need brushing," he
added; "the swallows' nests always fall down of a winter."
The spare bedroom that was now Poppea's had an empty look, in spite of
the bright-flowered wall paper and braided rugs. The straight white
drapery at the windows, and on the old high-posted bed in which several
generations had been ushered into the world, suggested ice and snow to
Gilbert rather than a soft fabric.
"Haven't you got a warm-looking comfortable to throw over that?" he said
to Mrs. Pegrim, who was standing in the doorway, jerking his thumb over
his shoulder toward the bed without looking at it. When, after a few
minutes of kneeling on the hearth and coaxing with the bellows, the
ruddy glow of the fire had penetrated all the ghostly nooks, Gilbert got
up and looked about with a sigh of satisfaction, letting his eyes rest
upon the white bed for the first time.
Asking Satira to watch the fire until the sparks from the kindlings had
subsided, he lit a lantern and made his way slowly to the little
workshop back of the post-office, and seating himself before his desk,
drew out the shabby ledger in which was written the record of the years
since Poppea's coming. Below the record of the previous day he drew a
heavy line. Then writing _December twenty-eighth_, across the entire
page, he traced under it, writing painfully and making three strokes to
every letter,--"This day has the Lord taken the pen from my hand to put
it into hers. In three days comes a New Year. Amen." From a panel
beneath the drawer, that flew open when he touched the spring, he drew
the miniature and its slender chain, wrapped in a piece of chamois
leather.
It was several years since he had looked at it; yes, he was almost sure
that the young woman must be of Poppea's blood, if not her mother, for
the likeness between the two was now more than mere fancy. Dropping it
into his pocket, he returned to Poppea's bedroom, where he fastened the
miniature against the frilled pincushion on top of the high chest of
drawers, and lighting the candles in the two straight glass holders that
had been Miss Emmy's Christmas gift, set one on either side of it, then
laid the precious book upon her work-table by the window, and crept back
to the kitchen, where Mack was whining uneasily as though he missed some
one, and scratching at the door to be let out.
* * * * *
Elisha Potts took the lead as the three men started on their slippery
walk from Quality Hill down through the main street of the village. As
they reached the Rectory, Mrs. Latimer flitted out to ask for news. When
they came abreast of the church, her husband, who had a veiled idea that
he had left the lamp burning, glanced up at the chancel window only to
be reassured that all was dark within.
Brief as the stop was, Hugh Oldys, who had half turned toward the
flagged pathway, saw something fluttering from one of the shrubs;
raising his lantern he recognized it as a fraying of Poppea's scarf.
"She has passed this way," he cried, "and since the snow has stopped,
for the worsted is quite dry, while the bush is crusted!" but lowering
the lantern to the pavement, the footprints there shown were confused
and told nothing, as Mrs. Latimer had gone in alone and come out with
her husband.
"Have you the keys, Mr. Latimer? We must look here, though of course she
may have merely stumbled into the bushes and gone on."
"I have them in my pocket, but I was in the church alone until half-past
seven and heard no one."
"Most likely not, if you was a-playin' the organ," said 'Lisha, "for you
kin make her beller powerful disconcertin', Parson. Lemme have them
keys."
* * * * *
How long Poppea slept, she did not know. When she awoke, the church was
in total darkness, the lamp having burned out, and the cold of the
floor was creeping up to where she lay. Sitting up, she touched
everything in reach, yet could not place herself. Was it one of the
mazes of a bad dream?
Then the pungence of the fir trees came to her, and the moon without
outlined the long window over the chancel.
Something shook the outer door, and then some one fumbled at the keyhole
of the inner. The door was cautiously pushed open, and Poppea heard Hugh
Oldys's voice saying, "Go quietly and don't stamp so, Potts; she may be
asleep," and then Stephen Latimer's lantern was turned so full upon her
face that she raised her arm to shield her dazzled eyes.
Hugh and Elisha drew back into the doorway, and it was Latimer who,
sitting beside her, said: "We have come to take you home, Poppea. How
long have you been here?" The answer came in a whisper.
"Ever since six o'clock."
"Then you were here while I was playing; it was you who were struggling
with yourself. It seemed to me suddenly as I played that some one was in
hard conflict, and that I must play to help them in some unseen way. I
did not dream that it was you, my child. Now I know from the soul that
struggled with me that you are ready to go home."
"Let me give her some supper and go up with her," begged Jeanne Latimer
in her husband's ear, as she, alarmed by their long stay in the church,
joined them when they were leaving. "Send Hugh home, and ask Potts to
let Oliver Gilbert know that she will soon be there. She needs a woman
of her own sort to be with her at this moment, not Satira Pegrim."
A pressure of the hand from Latimer told her that she was right, and
putting an arm about Poppea, she drew her into the Rectory and
ministered to her by the dim firelight, and presently the two were
driven to the post-office house by Potts, going together to Poppea's
room without meeting any one except old Mack.
For a moment Poppea paused, her hand on the doorknob. The crackling
sound of the fire within made her turn it quickly. Mrs. Latimer hastened
to undress her, for she was nervously exhausted, and a red spot glowed
in the middle of each white cheek.
As Poppea stood before the chest of drawers to braid her straggling
hair, her eyes fell on the miniature. Seizing it, she gazed at the face
intently, and then, with dilating eyes, turned to Mrs. Latimer.
"Who is it?" she whispered; "how did it come here?"
"You brought it with you about your neck the night you came. We do not
know, Daddy and I; we can't be sure, but we think it must have been your
mother."
Without speaking, Poppea looked at it once more, put her hand to her
face as though struggling intently with memory, pressed the picture to
her lips, and then slipped the chain about her neck.
Lying back between the white curtains with the flowery counterpane
across her breast, her loosely braided hair wreathing her head, the
resemblance to the miniature became almost startling, but Jeanne Latimer
put a restraint upon her tongue and all she wished to say. Stooping,
she quickly kissed Poppea good-night.
"Shall I never know anything more?" Poppea asked pleadingly; "isn't
there anything to tell except that I am not me--that I don't belong to
them?"
"Yes, a little more, but the telling of that belongs to Daddy." Then
even as Mrs. Latimer spoke, Poppea's expression changed, the mouth
hardened, and a rigid expression mantled the delicate features, that
remained after the long fringed lashes shut out the changeful fire of
her eyes.
Waiting a moment to see if they would open again, Mrs. Latimer tiptoed
out.
From forcing her eyes shut, Poppea really dozed, and only awakened as
the candles gave their final splutter before going out. Mack lay upon
the mat before the fire twitching and whining in his sleep. Starting up,
she felt, rather than saw, that there was some one in the room. Peering
around the curtain, she came face to face with Oliver Gilbert, who,
wrapped in his double gown, was sitting in the deep chintz chair by her
bedside.
Instantly a long, thin hand was laid upon hers that struggled under it
for a moment but could not pull itself away.
"Some things are real if others are hid from us for a little while,
Poppy. You see your home is here, yours to have and hold under love and
law, and you see you've still got a Daddy; perhaps if you'd _say_ the
word just once, we'd both feel better."
The prisoned hand stopped struggling; raising herself on one arm she
repeated slowly, "Yes, I've a Daddy." Then she hid her face upon his
shoulder, the miniature of the other Poppea dangling from her neck.
When she fell asleep, he did not go away, but sat there, replenishing
the fire lest she should wake in some new terror.
Thus Gilbert kept his second vigil until dawn. In putting a last stick
upon the embers he stumbled over Mack, who did not move; his faithful
old life had gone out peacefully in the night, and with it his
mistress's careless girlhood.