"Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant, did I not
extinguish the spark of existence which you had so wantonly bestowed? I
know not; despair had not yet taken possession of me; my feelings were
those of rage and revenge. I could with pleasure have destroyed the
cottage and its inhabitants, and have glutted myself with their shrieks
and misery.
"When night came, I quitted my retreat, and wandered in the wood; and
now, no longer restrained by the fear of discovery, I gave vent to my
anguish in fearful howlings. I was like a wild beast that had broken the
toils; destroying the objects that obstructed me, and ranging through
the wood with a stag-like swiftness. O! what a miserable night I passed!
the cold stars shone in mockery, and the bare trees waved their branches
above me: now and then the sweet voice of a bird burst forth amidst the
universal stillness. All, save I, were at rest or in enjoyment: I, like
the arch-fiend, bore a hell within me; and, finding myself unsympathised
with, wished to tear up the trees, spread havoc and destruction around
me, and then to have sat down and enjoyed the ruin.
"But this was a luxury of sensation that could not endure; I became
fatigued with excess of bodily exertion, and sank on the damp grass in
the sick impotence of despair. There was none among the myriads of men
that existed who would pity or assist me; and should I feel kindness
towards my enemies? No: from that moment I declared everlasting war
against the species, and, more than all, against him who had formed me,
and sent me forth to this insupportable misery.
"The sun rose; I heard the voices of men, and knew that it was
impossible to return to my retreat during that day. Accordingly I hid
myself in some thick underwood, determining to devote the ensuing hours
to reflection on my situation.
"The pleasant sunshine, and the pure air of day, restored me to some
degree of tranquillity; and when I considered what had passed at the
cottage, I could not help believing that I had been too hasty in my
conclusions. I had certainly acted imprudently. It was apparent that my
conversation had interested the father in my behalf, and I was a fool in
having exposed my person to the horror of his children. I ought to have
familiarised the old De Lacey to me, and by degrees to have discovered
myself to the rest of his family, when they should have been prepared
for my approach. But I did not believe my errors to be irretrievable;
and, after much consideration, I resolved to return to the cottage, seek
the old man, and by my representations win him to my party.
"These thoughts calmed me, and in the afternoon I sank into a profound
sleep; but the fever of my blood did not allow me to be visited by
peaceful dreams. The horrible scene of the preceding day was for ever
acting before my eyes; the females were flying, and the enraged Felix
tearing me from his father's feet. I awoke exhausted; and, finding that
it was already night, I crept forth from my hiding-place, and went in
search of food.
"When my hunger was appeased, I directed my steps towards the well-known
path that conducted to the cottage. All there was at peace. I crept into
my hovel, and remained in silent expectation of the accustomed hour when
the family arose. That hour passed, the sun mounted high in the heavens,
but the cottagers did not appear. I trembled violently, apprehending
some dreadful misfortune. The inside of the cottage was dark, and I
heard no motion; I cannot describe the agony of this suspense.
"Presently two countrymen passed by; but, pausing near the cottage, they
entered into conversation, using violent gesticulations; but I did not
understand what they said, as they spoke the language of the country,
which differed from that of my protectors. Soon after, however, Felix
approached with another man: I was surprised, as I knew that he had not
quitted the cottage that morning, and waited anxiously to discover, from
his discourse, the meaning of these unusual appearances.
"'Do you consider,' said his companion to him, 'that you will be
obliged to pay three months' rent, and to lose the produce of your
garden? I do not wish to take any unfair advantage, and I beg therefore
that you will take some days to consider of your determination.'
"'It is utterly useless,' replied Felix; 'we can never again inhabit
your cottage. The life of my father is in the greatest danger, owing to
the dreadful circumstance that I have related. My wife and my sister
will never recover their horror. I entreat you not to reason with me any
more. Take possession of your tenement, and let me fly from this place.'
"Felix trembled violently as he said this. He and his companion entered
the cottage, in which they remained for a few minutes, and then
departed. I never saw any of the family of De Lacey more.
"I continued for the remainder of the day in my hovel in a state of
utter and stupid despair. My protectors had departed, and had broken the
only link that held me to the world. For the first time the feelings of
revenge and hatred filled my bosom, and I did not strive to control
them; but, allowing myself to be borne away by the stream, I bent my
mind towards injury and death. When I thought of my friends, of the mild
voice of De Lacey, the gentle eyes of Agatha, and the exquisite beauty
of the Arabian, these thoughts vanished, and a gush of tears somewhat
soothed me. But again, when I reflected that they had spurned and
deserted me, anger returned, a rage of anger; and, unable to injure any
thing human, I turned my fury towards inanimate objects. As night
advanced, I placed a variety of combustibles around the cottage; and,
after having destroyed every vestige of cultivation in the garden, I
waited with forced impatience until the moon had sunk to commence my
operations.
"As the night advanced, a fierce wind arose from the woods, and quickly
dispersed the clouds that had loitered in the heavens: the blast tore
along like a mighty avalanche, and produced a kind of insanity in my
spirits, that burst all bounds of reason and reflection. I lighted the
dry branch of a tree, and danced with fury around the devoted cottage,
my eyes still fixed on the western horizon, the edge of which the moon
nearly touched. A part of its orb was at length hid, and I waved my
brand; it sunk, and, with a loud scream, I fired the straw, and heath,
and bushes, which I had collected. The wind fanned the fire, and the
cottage was quickly enveloped by the flames, which clung to it, and
licked it with their forked and destroying tongues.
"As soon as I was convinced that no assistance could save any part of
the habitation, I quitted the scene, and sought for refuge in the woods.
"And now, with the world before me, whither should I bend my steps? I
resolved to fly far from the scene of my misfortunes; but to me, hated
and despised, every country must be equally horrible. At length the
thought of you crossed my mind. I learned from your papers that you were
my father, my creator; and to whom could I apply with more fitness than
to him who had given me life? Among the lessons that Felix had bestowed
upon Safie, geography had not been omitted: I had learned from these the
relative situations of the different countries of the earth. You had
mentioned Geneva as the name of your native town; and towards this place
I resolved to proceed.
"But how was I to direct myself? I knew that I must travel in a
south-westerly direction to reach my destination; but the sun was my
only guide. I did not know the names of the towns that I was to pass
through, nor could I ask information from a single human being; but I
did not despair. From you only could I hope for succour, although
towards you I felt no sentiment but that of hatred. Unfeeling, heartless
creator! you had endowed me with perceptions and passions, and then cast
me abroad an object for the scorn and horror of mankind. But on you only
had I any claim for pity and redress, and from you I determined to seek
that justice which I vainly attempted to gain from any other being that
wore the human form.
"My travels were long, and the sufferings I endured intense. It was late
in autumn when I quitted the district where I had so long resided. I
travelled only at night, fearful of encountering the visage of a human
being. Nature decayed around me, and the sun became heatless; rain and
snow poured around me; mighty rivers were frozen; the surface of the
earth was hard and chill, and bare, and I found no shelter. Oh, earth!
how often did I imprecate curses on the cause of my being! The mildness
of my nature had fled, and all within me was turned to gall and
bitterness. The nearer I approached to your habitation, the more deeply
did I feel the spirit of revenge enkindled in my heart. Snow fell, and
the waters were hardened; but I rested not. A few incidents now and then
directed me, and I possessed a map of the country; but I often wandered
wide from my path. The agony of my feelings allowed me no respite: no
incident occurred from which my rage and misery could not extract its
food; but a circumstance that happened when I arrived on the confines of
Switzerland, when the sun had recovered its warmth, and the earth again
began to look green, confirmed in an especial manner the bitterness and
horror of my feelings.
"I generally rested during the day, and travelled only when I was
secured by night from the view of man. One morning, however, finding
that my path lay through a deep wood, I ventured to continue my journey
after the sun had risen; the day, which was one of the first of spring,
cheered even me by the loveliness of its sunshine and the balminess of
the air. I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long
appeared dead, revive within me. Half surprised by the novelty of these
sensations, I allowed myself to be borne away by them; and, forgetting
my solitude and deformity, dared to be happy. Soft tears again bedewed
my cheeks, and I even raised my humid eyes with thankfulness towards the
blessed sun which bestowed such joy upon me.
"I continued to wind among the paths of the wood, until I came to its
boundary, which was skirted by a deep and rapid river, into which many
of the trees bent their branches, now budding with the fresh spring.
Here I paused, not exactly knowing what path to pursue, when I heard the
sound of voices, that induced me to conceal myself under the shade of a
cypress. I was scarcely hid, when a young girl came running towards the
spot where I was concealed, laughing, as if she ran from some one in
sport. She continued her course along the precipitous sides of the
river, when suddenly her foot slipt, and she fell into the rapid
stream. I rushed from my hiding-place; and, with extreme labour from the
force of the current, saved her, and dragged her to shore. She was
senseless; and I endeavoured, by every means in my power, to restore
animation, when I was suddenly interrupted by the approach of a rustic,
who was probably the person from whom she had playfully fled. On seeing
me, he darted towards me, and tearing the girl from my arms, hastened
towards the deeper parts of the wood. I followed speedily, I hardly knew
why; but when the man saw me draw near, he aimed a gun, which he
carried, at my body, and fired. I sunk to the ground, and my injurer,
with increased swiftness, escaped into the wood.
"This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a human being
from destruction, and, as a recompense, I now writhed under the
miserable pain of a wound, which shattered the flesh and bone. The
feelings of kindness and gentleness, which I had entertained but a few
moments before, gave place to hellish rage and gnashing of teeth.
Inflamed by pain, I vowed eternal hatred and vengeance to all mankind.
But the agony of my wound overcame me; my pulses paused, and I fainted.
"For some weeks I led a miserable life in the woods, endeavouring to
cure the wound which I had received. The ball had entered my shoulder,
and I knew not whether it had remained there or passed through; at any
rate I had no means of extracting it. My sufferings were augmented also
by the oppressive sense of the injustice and ingratitude of their
infliction. My daily vows rose for revenge--a deep and deadly revenge,
such as would alone compensate for the outrages and anguish I had
endured.
"After some weeks my wound healed, and I continued my journey. The
labours I endured were no longer to be alleviated by the bright sun or
gentle breezes of spring; all joy was but a mockery, which insulted my
desolate state, and made me feel more painfully that I was not made for
the enjoyment of pleasure.
"But my toils now drew near a close; and, in two months from this time,
I reached the environs of Geneva.
"It was evening when I arrived, and I retired to a hiding-place among
the fields that surround it, to meditate in what manner I should apply
to you. I was oppressed by fatigue and hunger, and far too unhappy to
enjoy the gentle breezes of evening, or the prospect of the sun setting
behind the stupendous mountains of Jura.
"At this time a slight sleep relieved me from the pain of reflection,
which was disturbed by the approach of a beautiful child, who came
running into the recess I had chosen, with all the sportiveness of
infancy. Suddenly, as I gazed on him, an idea seized me, that this
little creature was unprejudiced, and had lived too short a time to have
imbibed a horror of deformity. If, therefore, I could seize him, and
educate him as my companion and friend, I should not be so desolate in
this peopled earth.
"Urged by this impulse, I seized on the boy as he passed, and drew him
towards me. As soon as he beheld my form, he placed his hands before his
eyes, and uttered a shrill scream: I drew his hand forcibly from his
face, and said, 'Child, what is the meaning of this? I do not intend to
hurt you; listen to me.'
"He struggled violently. 'Let me go,' he cried; 'monster! ugly wretch!
you wish to eat me, and tear me to pieces--You are an ogre--Let me go,
or I will tell my papa.'
"'Boy, you will never see your father again; you must come with me.'
"'Hideous monster! let me go. My papa is a Syndic--he is M.
Frankenstein--he will punish you. You dare not keep me.'
"'Frankenstein! you belong then to my enemy--to him towards whom I have
sworn eternal revenge; you shall be my first victim.'
"The child still struggled, and loaded me with epithets which carried
despair to my heart; I grasped his throat to silence him, and in a
moment he lay dead at my feet.
"I gazed on my victim, and my heart swelled with exultation and hellish
triumph: clapping my hands, I exclaimed, 'I, too, can create desolation;
my enemy is not invulnerable; this death will carry despair to him, and
a thousand other miseries shall torment and destroy him.'
"As I fixed my eyes on the child, I saw something glittering on his
breast. I took it; it was a portrait of a most lovely woman. In spite
of my malignity, it softened and attracted me. For a few moments I gazed
with delight on her dark eyes, fringed by deep lashes, and her lovely
lips; but presently my rage returned: I remembered that I was for ever
deprived of the delights that such beautiful creatures could bestow; and
that she whose resemblance I contemplated would, in regarding me, have
changed that air of divine benignity to one expressive of disgust and
affright.
"Can you wonder that such thoughts transported me with rage? I only
wonder that at that moment, instead of venting my sensations in
exclamations and agony, I did not rush among mankind, and perish in the
attempt to destroy them.
"While I was overcome by these feelings, I left the spot where I had
committed the murder, and seeking a more secluded hiding-place, I
entered a barn which had appeared to me to be empty. A woman was
sleeping on some straw; she was young: not indeed so beautiful as her
whose portrait I held; but of an agreeable aspect, and blooming in the
loveliness of youth and health. Here, I thought, is one of those whose
joy-imparting smiles are bestowed on all but me. And then I bent over
her, and whispered 'Awake, fairest, thy lover is near--he who would give
his life but to obtain one look of affection from thine eyes: my
beloved, awake!'
"The sleeper stirred; a thrill of terror ran through me. Should she
indeed awake, and see me, and curse me, and denounce the murderer? Thus
would she assuredly act, if her darkened eyes opened, and she beheld me.
The thought was madness; it stirred the fiend within me--not I, but she
shall suffer: the murder I have committed because I am for ever robbed
of all that she could give me, she shall atone. The crime had its source
in her: be hers the punishment! Thanks to the lessons of Felix and the
sanguinary laws of man, I had learned now to work mischief. I bent over
her, and placed the portrait securely in one of the folds of her dress.
She moved again, and I fled.
"For some days I haunted the spot where these scenes had taken place;
sometimes wishing to see you, sometimes resolved to quit the world and
its miseries for ever. At length I wandered towards these mountains,
and have ranged through their immense recesses, consumed by a burning
passion which you alone can gratify. We may not part until you have
promised to comply with my requisition. I am alone, and miserable; man
will not associate with me; but one as deformed and horrible as myself
would not deny herself to me. My companion must be of the same species,
and have the same defects. This being you must create."