Smith.” “Then,” quoth I, “hée must vnderstande of thy dysease; yf thou
hadest the same for the tyme thou wast there, he knoweth it well.” “Ye,
not onely he, but all the house bée syde,” quoth this Cranke; “for I
came thens but within this fortnight.” I had stande so longe reasoning
the matter wyth him that I was a cold, and went into my chamber and
made me ready, and commaunded my seruant to repayre to bethelem, and
bringe me true worde from the keper there whether anye suche man hath
byn with him as a prisoner hauinge the dysease aforesayd, and gaue
hym a note of his name and the kepars also: my seruant, retorninge to
my lodginge, dyd assure me that neither was there euer anye such man
there, nether yet anye keper of any suche name; but hée that was there
keper, he sent me hys name in writing, afferming that hee letteth no
man depart from hym vnlesse he be fet a waye by [leaf 16] hys fréendes,
and that none that came from hym beggeth aboute the Citye. Then I sent
for the Printar of this booke, and shewed hym of this dyssembling
Cranke, and how I had sent to Bethelem to vnderstand the trouth[105],
and what aunsweare I receaued againe, requiringe hym that I might haue
some seruant of his to watche him faithfully that daye, that I might
vnderstand trustely to what place he woulde repaire at night vnto,
and thether I promised to goe my selfe to sée their order, and that
I woulde haue hym to associate me thether: hée gladly graunted to
my request, and sent two boyes, that both diligently and vygelantly
accomplisht the charge geuen them, and found the same Cranke aboute the
Temple, where about the most parte of the daye hée begged, vnlesse it
weare about xii. of the clocke he wente on the backesyde of Clementes
Ine without Temple barre: there is a lane that goeth into the Feldes;
there hee renewed his face againe wyth freshe bloud, which he caried
about hym in a bladder, and dawbed on freshe dyrte vpon his Ierken,
hat, and hoson.
¶ And so came backe agayne vnto the Temple, and sometyme to the
Watersyde, and begged of all that passed bye: the boyes behelde howe
some gaue grotes, some syxe pens, some gaue more; {54} for hée looked
so ougleie and yrksomlye, that euerye one pytied his miserable case
that beehelde hym. To bee shorte, there he passed all the daye tyll
night approched; and when it began to bée some what dark, he went to
the water syde and toke a Skoller,[106] and was sette ouer the Water
into Saincte Georges feldes, contrarye to my expectatian; for I had
thought he woulde haue gonne into Holborne or to Saynt Gylles in the
felde; but these boyes, with Argues and Lynces eyes, set sewre watche
vppon him, and the one tooke a bote and followed him, and the other
went backe to tell his maister.
[Footnote 105: _trough._ B.]
[Footnote 106: 1573 reads _skolloer_]
The boye that so folowed hym by Water, had no money to pay for his Bote
hyre, but layde his Penner and his Ynkhorne to gage for a penny; and
by that tyme the boye was sette ouer, his Maister, wyth all celeryte,
hadde taken a Bote and followed hym apase: now hadde they styll a
syght of the Cranke, wych crossed ouer the felddes towardes Newyngton,
and thether he went, and by that tyme they came thether it was very
darke: the Prynter hadde there no acquaintance, nether any kynde of
weapon about hym, nether knewe he[107] how farre the Cranke woulde
goe, becawse hee then suspected that they dogged hym of purposse; he
there stayed hym, and called for the Counstable, whyche came forthe
dylygentelye to inquyre what the matter was: thys zelous Pryntar
charged thys offycer [leaf 16, back] wyth hym as a malefactor and a
dessemblinge vagabonde—the Counstable woulde haue layde him all night
in the Cage that stode in the streate. “Naye,” saythe this pitifull
Prynter, “I praye you haue him into your house; for this is lyke to be
a cold nyght, and he is naked: you kepe a vytellinge house; let him
be well cherished this night, for he is well hable to paye for the
same. I knowe well his gaynes hath byn great to day, and your house
is a sufficient pryson for the tyme, and we wil there serche hym.”
The Counstable agreed there vnto: they had him in, and caused him to
washe him selfe: that donne, they demaunded what money he had about
hym. Sayth this Cranke, “So God helpe me, I haue but xii. pence,” and
plucked oute the same of a lytle pursse. “Why, haue you no more?” quoth
they. “No,” sayth this Cranke, “as God shall saue my soule at the day
of iudgement.” “We must se more,” quoth they,{55} and began to stryp
hym. Then he plucked out a nother purse, wherin was xi. pens. “Toushe,”
sayth[108] thys Prynter, “I must see more.” Saythe this Cranke, “I
pray God I bée dampned both body[109] and soule yf I haue anye more.”
“No,” sayth thys Prynter, “thou false knaue, here is my boye that dyd
watche thée all this daye, and sawe when such men gaue the péeses of
sixe pens, grotes, and other money; and yet thou hast shewed vs none
but small money.” When thys Cranke hard this, and the boye vowinge it
to his face, he relented, and plucked out another pursse, where in was
eyght shyllings and od money; so had they in the hole _tha_t he had
begged that day xiij. shillings iii. [110]§pens halfepeny§. Then they
strypt him starke naked, and as many as sawe him sayd they neuer sawe
hansommer man, wyth a yellowe flexen beard[111], and fayre skynned,
withoute anye spot or greffe. Then the good wyfe of the house fet her
goodmans[112] olde clocke, _and_ caused the same to be cast about him,
because the sight shoulde not abash her shamefast maydens, nether loth
her squaymysh sight.
[Footnote 107: Omitted in 1573 edit.]
++{ Thus he set[113] downe at the Chemnes end, and called for a potte
of Béere, and dranke of a quarte at a draft, and } called for another,
and so the thyrde, that one had bene sufficient for any resonable
man, the Drynke was so stronge.[114] I my selfe, the next morninge,
tasted thereof; but let the reader iudge what and howe much he would
haue dronke and he had bene out of feare. Then when they had thus
wrong water out of a flint in spoyli_n_g him of his euyl gotten goods,
his passi_n_g pens[115], _and_ fleting trashe, The printer with this
offecer were in gealy gealowsit[116], and deuised to search a barne
for some roges and vpright men, a quarter of a myle from the house,
that stode a lone in the fieldes, and wente out about their busines,
leauing this cranke alone with his wyfe and maydens: this crafty
Cra_n_ke, espying al gon, requested _th_e good wife that [leaf 17] hee
might goe out on the backesyde to make water, and to exonerate his
paunche: she bad hym drawe the lache of the dore and goe out, neither
thinkinge or mistrusting he {56} would haue gon awaye naked; but, to
conclude, when hee was out, he cast awaye the cloke, and, as naked
as euer he was borne, he ran away, [117]*that he could[118] neuer be
hard of [119]†againe.* Now† the next morning betimes, I went vnto
Newington, to vndersta_n_d what was done, because I had word or it was
day that there my printer was; and at my comming thether, I hard the
hole circumstaunce, as I aboue haue wrytten; and I, seing the matter
so fall out, tooke order with the chiefe of the parish that this xiij.
shyllings _and_ iij. [120]‡pens halfpeny‡ might the next daye be
equally distributed, by their good discrecions, to the pouertie of the
same parishe,[121] and so it was done.
[Footnote 108: _sayih_ (_sic_). B.]
[Footnote 109: printed _dody_]
[Footnote 110: §–§ _d. ob._ B.]
[Footnote 111: _bede._ B.]
[Footnote 112: _mans._ B.]
[Footnote 113: 1573 inserts _him_; _sette hym_. B.]
[Footnote 114: 1573 inserts _that_]
[Footnote 115: _pence._ B.]
[Footnote 116: The 1573 edition reads _ioly ioylitie; gelowsy_. B.]
[Footnote 117: *–* The 1573 edition finishes the sentence
thus:—“ouer the fields to his own house, as hée afterwards said.”]
[Footnote 118: _woulde._ B.]
[Footnote 119: †–† _again til now._ B.]
[Footnote 120: ‡–‡ _d. ob._ B.]
[Footnote 121: The 1573 edition continues thus:—“wherof this crafty
Cranke had part him selfe, for he had both house and wife in the
same parishe, as after you shall heare. But this lewde lewterar
could not laye his bones to labour, hauing got once the tast of
this lewd lasy lyfe, for al this fayr admonition, but deuised other
suttel sleights to maintaine his ydell liuing, and so craftely
clothed him selfe in mariners apparel, and associated him self with
an other of his companions: they hauing both mariners apparel, went
abroad to aske charity of _th_e people, fayning they hadde loste
their shippe with all their goods by casualty on the seas, wherewith
they gayned much. This crafty Cranke, fearinge to be mistrusted,
fell to another kinde of begging, as bad or worse, and apparelled
himselfe very well with a fayre black fréese cote, a new payre of
whyte hose, a fyne felt hat on his head, a shert of flaunders worke
esteemed to be worth xvi. shillings; and vpon newe yeares day came
againe into the whyt Fryers to beg: the printer, hauing occasion
to go that ways, not thinking of this Cranke, by chaunce met with
him, who asked his charitie for Gods sake. The printer, vewing him
well, did mistrust him to be the counterfet Cranke which deceuied
him vpon Alhollen daye at night, demaunded of whence he was and what
was his name, ‘Forsoth,’ saith he, ‘my name is Nicolas Genings, and
I came from Lecester to séeke worke, and I am a hat-maker by my
occupation, and all my money is spent, and if I coulde get money to
paye for my lodging this night, I would seke work to morowe amongst
the hatters.’ The printer perceiuing his depe dissimulation, putting
his hand into his purse, seeming to giue him some money, and with
fayre allusions brought him into the stréete, where he charged the
constable with him, affirminge him to be the counterfet Cranke
that ranne away vpon Alholon daye last. The constable being very
loth to medle with him, but the printer knowing him and his depe
disceit, desyred he mought be brought before the debutie of the
ward, which straight was accomplished, which whe_n_ he came before
the debuty, he demaunded of him of whence he was and what was his
name; he answered as before he did vnto _th_e printer: the debutie
asked the printer what he woulde laye vnto hys charge; he answered
and aleged him to be a vagabond and depe deceyuer of the people,
and the counterfet Crank that ran away vpon Alhallon day last from
the constable of Newington and him, and requested him earnestly
to send him to ward: the debuty thinking him to be deceiued, but
neuerthelesse laid his co_m_maundement vpon him, so that the printer
should beare his charges if he could not iustifie it; he agréed
thereunto. And so he and the constable went to cary him to the
Counter; and as they were going vnder Ludgate, this crafty Cranke
toke his héeles and ran down the hill as fast as he could dryve,
the constable and the printer after him as fast as they coulde; but
the printer of _th_e twayn being lighter of fote, ouertoke him at
fleete bridge, and with strong hand caried him to the counter, and
safely deliuered him. In _th_e morow _th_e printer sent his boy that
stripped him vpon Alhalon day at night to view him, because he would
be sure, which boy knew him very well: this Crank confessed unto
the debuty, _tha_t he had hosted the night before in Kent stréet in
Southwarke, at the sign of the Cock, which thing to be true, the
printer sente to know, and found him a lyer; but further inquiring,
at length found out his habitation, dwelling in maister Hilles
rentes, hauinge a pretye house, well stuffed, with a fayre ioyne
table, and a fayre cubbard garnished with peuter, hauing an old
auncient woman to his wyfe. The printer being sure therof, repaired
vnto the Counter, and rebuked him for his beastly behaviour, and
told him of his false fayning, willed him to confesse it, and
aske forgivenes: he perceyued him to know his depe dissimulation,
relented, and confessed all his disceit; and so remayning in the
counter thrée dayes, was removed to Brydwel, where he was strypt
starke naked, and his ougly attyre put vpo_n_ him before the
maisters thereof, who wondered greatly at his dissimulation: for
which offence he stode vpon the pillery in Cheapsyde, both in his
ougly and handsome attyre. And after that went in the myll whyle his
ougly picture was a drawing; and then was whypped at a cartes tayle
through London, and his displayd banner caried before him vnto his
own dore, and so backe to Brydewell again, and there remayned for a
tyme, and at length let at libertie, on that condicio_n_ he would
proue an honest man, and labour truly to get his liuing. And his
picture remayneth in Bridewell for a monyment.”—See, also, _post_,
p. 89.]
{57}
¶ A DOMMERAR. Cap. 12.
++THese Dommerars are leud and most subtyll people: the moste part of
these are Walch men, and wyll neuer speake, vnlesse they haue extreame
punishment, but wyll gape, and with a maruelous force wyll hold downe
their toungs doubled, groning for your charyty, and holding vp their
handes full pitiously, so that with their déepe dissimulation they get
very much. There are of these many, _and_ but one that I vnderstand
of hath lost his toung in dede. Hauing on a time occasion to ride to
Dartforde, to speake with a priest there, who maketh all kinde of
conserues very well, and vseth stilling of waters; And repayringe to
his house, I founde a Dommerar at his doore, and the priest him selfe
perusinge his[122] lycence, vnder the seales and hands of certayne
worshypfull men, had[123] thought the same to be good and effectuall.
I taking the same writing, and {58} reading it ouer, and noting the
seales, founde one of the seales like vnto a seale that I had aboute
me, which seale I bought besides Charing crosse, that I was out of
doubte it was none of those Gentlemens seales that had sub[s]cribed.
And hauing vnderstanding before of their peuish practises, made me to
conceaue that all was forged and nought. I made the more hast home;
for well I wyst that he would and must of force passe through the
parysh where I dwelt; for there was no other waye for hym. And comminge
homewarde, I found them in the towne, accordinge to my expectation,
where they were staid; for there was a Pallyarde associate with the
Dommerar and partaker of his gaynes, whyche Pallyarde I sawe not at
Dartford. The stayers of them was a gentleman called[124] _Chayne_, and
a seruant of my Lord Kéepers, cald _Wostestowe_, which was [leaf 17,
back] the chiefe causer of the staying of them, being a Surgien, _and_
cunning in his science, had séene the lyke practises, and, as he sayde,
hadde caused one to speake afore that was dome[125]. It was my chaunce
to come at the begynning of the matter. “Syr,” (quoth this Surgien)
“I am bold here to vtter some part of my cunning. I trust” (quoth he)
“you shall se a myracle wrought anon. For I once” (quoth he) “made a
dumme man to speake.” Quoth I, “you are wel met, and somwhat you haue
preuented me; for I had thought to haue done no lesse or they hadde
passed this towne. For I well knowe their writing is fayned, and they
depe dissemblers.” The Surgien made hym gape, _and_ we could sée but
halfe a toung. I required the Surgien to put hys fynger in his mouth,
_and_ to pull out his toung, and so he dyd, not withstanding he held
strongly a prety whyle; at the length he pluckt out the same, to the
great admiration of many that stode by. Yet when we sawe his tounge,
hée would neither speake nor yet could heare. Quoth I to the Surgien,
“knit two of his fyngers to gether, and thrust a stycke betwene them,
and rubbe the same vp and downe a lytle whyle, and for my lyfe hée
speaketh by and by.” “Sir,” quoth this Surgien, “I praye you let me
practise and[126] other waye.” I was well contented to sée the same.
He had him into a house, and tyed a halter aboute the wrestes of his
handes, and hoysed him vp ouer a beame, and {59} there dyd let him
hang a good while: at _th_e length, for very paine he required for Gods
sake to let him down. So he that was both deafe and dume coulde in
short tyme both heare and speake. Then I tooke that money I could find
in his pursse, and distributed the same to the poore people dwelling
there, whiche was xv. pence halfepeny, being all that we coulde finde.
That done, and this merry myracle madly made, I sent them with my
seruaunt to the next Iusticer, where they preached on the Pyllery for
want of a Pulpet, and were well whypped, and none dyd bewayle them.
[Footnote 122: _of his._ B.]
[Footnote 123: _which priest had._ B.]
[Footnote 124: _cal-_ (_sic_). B.]
[Footnote 125: _dumme._ B.]
[Footnote 126: So printed. _an._ B.]
[Headnote: HARMON. A PRYGGE.]
¶ A DRONKEN TINCKAR. Cap. 13.
++THese dronken Tynckers, called also Prygges, be beastly people, _and_
these yong knaues be _th_e wurst. These neuer go w_i_t_h_ out their
Doxes, and yf their women haue anye thing about them, as apparell or
lynnen, that is worth the selling, they laye the same to gage, or sell
it out right, for bene bowse at their bowsing ken. And full sone wyll
they bée wearye of them, and haue a newe. When they happen one woorke
at any good house, their Doxes lynger alofe, and tarry for them in
some corner; and yf he taryeth longe from her, then she knoweth [leaf
18] he hath worke, and walketh neare, and sitteth downe by him. For
besydes money, he looketh for meate and drinke for doinge his dame
pleasure. For yf she haue thrée or foure holes in a pan, hee wyll make
as many more for spedy gaine. And if he se any old ketle, chafer, or
pewter dish abroad in the yard where he worketh, hée quicklye snappeth
the same vp, and in to the booget it goeth round. Thus they lyue with
deceite.
++{ I was crediblye informed, by such as could well tell, that one of
these tipling Tinckers w_i_t_h_ his dogge robbed by the } high way
iiij. Pallyards and two Roges, six persons together, and tooke from
them aboue foure pound in ready money, _and_ hide him after in a thicke
woode a daye or two, and so escaped vntaken. Thus with picking and
stealing, mingled with a lytle worke for a coulour, they passe their
time. {60}
¶ A SWADDER, OR PEDLER. Cap. 14.
++THese Swadders and Pedlers bee not all euyll, but of an indifferent
behauiour. These stand in great awe of the vpright men, for they haue
often both wares and money of them. But for as much as they séeke gayne
vnlawfully against the lawes and statutes of this noble realme, they
are well worthy to be registred among the number of vacabonds; and
vndoubtedly I haue hadde some of them brought before me, when I was in
commission of the peace, as malefactors, for bryberinge and stealinge.
And nowe of late it is a greate practes of the vpright man, when he
hath gotten a botye, to bestowe the same vpon a packefull of wares,
and so goeth a time for his pleasure, because he would lyue with out
suspition.
¶ A IARKE MAN, AND A PATRICO. Cap. 15.
++FOR as much as these two names, a Iarkeman and a Patrico, bée in the
old briefe of vacabonds, and set forth as two kyndes of euil doers, you
shall vnderstande that a Iarkeman hathe his name of a Iarke, which is
a seale in their Language, as one should make writinges and set seales
for lycences and pasporte[127]. And for trouth there is none that goeth
aboute the countrey of them that can eyther wryte so good and fayre
a hand, either indite so learnedly, as I haue sene _and_ handeled a
number of them: but haue the same made in good townes where they come,
as what can not be hadde for money, as the prouerbe sayth (“_Omnia
venalia Rome_”), and manye hath confessed the same to me. [leaf 18,
back] Now, also, there is a Patrico, and not a Patriarcho[128], whiche
in their language is a priest that should make mariages tyll death dyd
depart; but they haue none such, I am well assured; for I put you out
of doubt that not one amo[n]gest a hundreth of them are maried, for
they take lechery for no sinne, but naturall fellowshyp and good lyking
loue: so that I wyll not blot my boke with these two that be not.
[Footnote 127: _pasportes._ B.]
[Footnote 128: _Patriarch._ B.]
{61}
¶ A DEMAUNDER FOR GLYMMAR. Cap. 16.
++THese Demaunders for glymmar be for the moste parte wemen; for
glymmar, in their language, is fyre. These goe with fayned[129]
lycences and counterfayted wrytings, hauing the hands and seales of
suche gentlemen as dwelleth nere to the place where they fayne them
selues to haue bene burnt, and their goods consumed with fyre. They
wyll most lamentable[130] demaunde your charitie, _and_ wyll quicklye
shed salte teares, they be so tender harted. They wyll neuer begge in
that Shiere where their losses (as they say) was. Some of these goe
with slates at their backes, which is a shéete to lye in a nightes. The
vpright men be very familiare with these kynde of wemen, and one of
them helpes an other.
¶ A Demaunder for glymmar came vnto a good towne in Kente, to aske
the charitie of the people, hauinge a fayned lycens aboute her that
declared her misfortune by fyre, donne in Somerset shyre, walkinge with
a wallet on her shoulders, where in shée put the deuotion of suche as
hadde no money to geue her; that is to saye, Malte, woll, baken, bread,
and cheese; and alwayes, as the same was full, so was it redye money
to her, when she emptyed the same, where so euer shee trauelede: thys
harlot was, as they terme it, snowte fayre, and had an vpright man or
two alwayes attendinge on her watche (whyche is on her parson), and yet
so circumspecte, that they woulde neuer bee séene in her company in
any good towne, vnlesse it were in smale vyllages where typling houses
weare, eyther trauelinge to gether by the hygh wayes; but _th_e troth
is, by report, she would wekely be worth vi. or seuen shyllinges with
her begging and bycherye. This glimmering Morte, repayringe to an Ine
in _th_e sayde towne where dwelt a wydow of fyftie wynter olde of good
welth; but she had an vnthryftye sonne, whom she vsed as a chamberlaine
to attend gestes when they repared to her house: this amerous man,
be holdinge with ardante eyes thys[131] glymmeringe glauncer, was
presentlye pyteouslye persed to the hart, and lewdlye longed to bée
clothed vnder her lyuerye; and bestowinge [leaf 19] a {62} fewe
fonde wordes with her, vnderstode strayte that she woulde be easlye
perswaded to lykinge lechery, and as a man mased, mused howe to attayne
to his purpose, for[132] he hadde no money. Yet consideringe wyth hym
selfe that wares woulde bée welcome where money wanted, hée went with
a wannion to his mothers chamber, and there sekinge aboute for odde
endes, at length founde a lytle whystell of syluer that his mother dyd
vse customablye to weare on, and had forgot the same for haste that
morninge, and offeres the same closely to this manerly marian, that yf
she would mete hym on the backesyde of the towne and curteously kys
him with out constraynt, she shoulde bée mystres thereof, and it weare
much better. “Well,” sayth she, “you are a wanton;” and beholdinge
the whystell, was farther in loue there with then rauysht wyth his
person, and agred to mete him presently, and to accomplyshe his fonde
fancy:—to be short, and not tedyous, a quarter of a myle from the
towne, he merely toke measure of her vnder a bawdye bushe; so she gaue
hym that she had not, and he receiued that he coulde not; and taking
leue of eche other with a curteous kysse, she plesantly passed forth
one her iornaye, _and_ this vntoward lycorous chamberlayne repayred
home warde. But or these two tortylles tooke there leue, the good wyfe
myssed her whystell, and sent one of her maydenes in to her chamber
for the same, and being long sawght for, none coulde be founde; her
mystres hering that, diligent search was made for the same; and that it
was taken awaye, began to suspecte her vnblessed babe, and demaunded
of her maydens whether none of them sawe her sonne in her chamber that
morning, and one of them aunswered that she sawe him not there, but
comming from thens: then had she ynough, for well she wyste that he had
the same, and sent for him, but he could not be founde. Then she caused
her hosteler, in whome she had better affyaunce in for his trouth,—and
yet not one amongst twenty of them but haue well left there honesty,
(As I here a great sorte saye)—to come vnto her, whiche attended to
knowe her pleasure. “Goe, seke out,” saythe she, “my vntowarde sonne,
and byd hym come speake with me.” “I sawe him go out,” saythe he,
“halfe an houre {63} sithens one the backesyde. I hadde thought you
hadde sent him of your arrante.” “I sent him not,” quoth she; “goe,
loke him out.”