(EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.)
[Illustration: Snapshots of certain Members who were _not_ on
their way to or from the Conference. Their expressions reflect the
pessimistic view which they entertained from the first as to its
chance of success in their absence.
(Sir WILLIAM BYLES, Mr. HOGGE, Mr. KEIR HARDIE, Mr. JOHN WARD, Mr.
WILLIAM O'BRIEN, Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL.)]
_House of Commons, Monday, July 20._--The T. R. Westminster is at
least equal to the old T. R. Drury Lane in capacity for producing
dramatic turns. When Members went off on Saturday for week-end holiday
the Ulster attitude was pretty generally understood. Ulster demanded
"a clean cut," with the alternative, phrased by CARSON, of "Come over
and fight us." The Cabinet after prolonged deliberation had resolved
to meet demand with firm _non possumus_: PREMIER was expected on
resumption of Sittings this afternoon to announce conclusion of
matter, adding such offer of concession on matter of detail as, whilst
providing golden bridge for Opposition, would avert revolt in his own
camp, where "conversations" with leaders of Opposition are regarded
with growing jealousy and suspicion.
New stage in long-drawn-out controversy sufficient to create
profoundest interest in to-day's proceedings. It would surely be the
beginning of the end. What exactly the PREMIER would say about further
concession to Ulster, and how the overtures would be received on Front
Opposition Bench, were questions on which might hang the issue of
peace or war.
PREMIER had a more startling message to deliver. From point of view
of dramatic effect it was a thousand pities his secret had been
prematurely disclosed. When he rose amid profound stillness of
crowded House everyone knew what he was going to say. In ordinary
circumstances his interposition at so critical a juncture would have
been hailed by resounding applause from the multiform sections that
contribute to making up of Ministerial majority. As matters turned
out, a frigid cheer greeted his appearance at the Table. To the
announcement that "in view of the grave situation the KING has thought
it right to summon representatives of Parties, both British and Irish,
to a Conference in Buckingham Palace, with the object of discussing
outstanding issues in relation to the problem of Irish government," he
had only one new thing to add. It was that the SPEAKER would preside
over the Conference.
This was the only passage in the brief formal conversation, to which
LEADER OF OPPOSITION and LEADER OF IRISH NATIONALISTS contributed,
that elicited general cheer. A high tribute to occupant of the Chair.
GINNELL saw his opportunity and seized it by the hair. He is one of
three leaders of the Irish Nationalists. Understood that his Party
consists of a single member, so shadowy that there are varied reports
as to his identity. Member for N.W. Meath leaped on to pinnacle of
enduring fame when the present Parliament met to elect a Speaker.
Before Mr. LOWTHER was qualified to take the Chair, and whilst as yet
no recognised authority existed, GINNELL, master of the situation,
delivered a long harangue. Proposed now to offer a few remarks "as an
independent Irish Nationalist."
SPEAKER on point of order restricting him to putting a question,
he "begged to ask the PRIME MINISTER what precedent he had and
what authority to advise the KING to place himself at the head of a
conspiracy to defeat the decision of this House?"
"Members desiring to take their seats will please come to the Table,"
said the SPEAKER.
The observation did not appear relevant. It met the occasion. It
brought up LEVERTON HARRIS, newly elected for East Worcestershire, who
found his welcome the warmer by reason of the fact that he had been a
passive instrument in avoiding what might under less adroit management
have developed into a disorderly scene.
_Business done._--PREMIER announces Conference upon Ulster question to
meet at Buckingham Palace on the invitation of HIS MAJESTY.
_Tuesday._--Dull sitting closed in lively conversation arising on
motion for adjournment. RUPERT GWYNNE, jealous for due observance of
traditions of House, has noticed with concern the departure for Canada
for indefinite period of Member for East St. Pancras. At Question
time asked CHANCELLOR OF EXCHEQUER whether Mr. MARTIN had applied for
Chiltern Hundreds. Answered in the negative, he put a further question
to PREMIER, directing his attention to Act of 6 HENRY VIII. c. 16,
ordering that no Member of Parliament shall absent himself from
attendance except he have licence of Mr. SPEAKER. This upon pain of
having his wages docked. PREMIER brushed him aside with one of his
brief answers.
GWYNNE not the man to be shouldered off the path of duty when it
lies straight before him. Here was a Member in receipt of L400 a year
leaving the place of business where it was assumed to be earned, not
even taking the trouble to follow example of the clerk who, left
in sole charge of his master's office, wrote in legible hand, "Back
D'reckly," affixed notice to front door and went forth to enjoyment of
prolonged meal.
Since he could get no satisfaction at Question time he kept Members
in, after hour of adjournment, in order to debate subject.
Unfortunately it turned out that he was not exactly the man to
have undertaken the job. Amid laughter and hilarious cheering HOME
SECRETARY pointed out that here was a case of Satan reproving sin.
Reference to the records showed that during the time payment of
Members has been in vogue, of 687 divisions GWYNNE was absent from
424. (GWYNNE later corrected these figures.) During that time he had
drawn from the Exchequer salary amounting to L1,000.
"On his own principle, that payment should be in proportion to
attendance, the hon. Member," said the HOME SECRETARY, "is entitled
to only L400. Being so conscientious no doubt he will repay to the
CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER the balance of L600."
HELMSLEY, gallantly coming to assistance of friend in dire straits,
himself fell into the bog. It appeared that of 1056 divisions taken in
two Sessions he had been absent from 602. Here was another unexpected
little windfall for the Exchequer.
At this stage it was found expedient to drop the subject; adjournment
not further resisted.
_Business done._--Budget Bill dealt with on Report stage.
_Thursday._--With that austerity that since Stuart times has marked
relations of House of Commons with royalty Mr. HOGGE is known at
Westminster simply as the Member for East Edinburgh, a position he
with characteristic modesty accepts. But blood, especially royal
blood, like murder, will out. Lineal descendant of one of the oldest
dynasties in the world's history, Mr. HOGGE cannot be expected always
and altogether to be free from ancestral influence. Something of the
hauteur of 'OGGE, King of Bashan (or, as some records have it, OG)
is discerned in his attitude and manner when, throned on corner seat
below Gangway, he occasionally deigns to direct the PRIME MINISTER in
the way he should go.
Such opportunity presented itself in connection with meeting of
Conference which through the Parliamentary week has centred upon
Buckingham Palace the attention of mankind. With respect to palaces
Mr. HOGGE is by family association an expert.
"Why Rookery?" _Miss Betsey Trotwood_ sharply asked _David
Copperfield_ when he casually mentioned his mother's postal address.
"Why Buckingham Palace?" asked Mr. HOGGE, bending severe glance on
Treasury Bench whence the PREMIER had judiciously fled.
St. Stephen's, which houses the Member for East Edinburgh, is also a
royal palace. Why then was not the Conference held within its walls,
instead of under the roof of what he loftily alluded to as "the
domestic Palace"?
This and much more, with covert references to machinations of the two
Front Benches, Mr. HOGGE wanted to know.
The PRIME MINISTER, uneasily conscious of the coming storm, had,
as mentioned, discreetly disappeared. As an offering to righteous
indignation he left behind him on the Treasury Bench the body of
ATTORNEY-GENERAL. That astute statesman avoided difficulty and
personal disaster by meekly undertaking to lay before the PRIME
MINISTER the views so eloquently and pointedly set forth by the hon.
Member.
Mr. HOGGE graciously assented to this course, and what at the outset
looked like threatening incident terminated.
_Business done._--Budget Bill passed Third Reading without a division.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Waiter._ "WHAT SAUCE WILL YOU TAKE WIZ YOUR FISH,
SAIR?"
_Polite Customer._ "WELL, WHAT DISINFECTANTS HAVE YOU?"]
* * * * *
"Mr. Hogge: Can the Prime Minister say whether any of those
taking part in the Conference attached any conditions to their
entering the Conference?
'I cannot sty,' replied the Premier."--_Evening News._
Was this quite worthy of the PRIME MINISTER? We ourselves do not care
for these personal jokes on people's names.
* * * * *
"Mr. Asquith's statement was thus of sensational interest,
because it represented the last effort at the eleventh minute
of the eleventh hour to avert Civil War."--_Dublin Evening
Mail._
No need to hurry. There are still forty-nine minutes left.
* * * * *
The Finances of Cricket.
"Cumberland batted first and reached the total of L272, C. A.
Hardcastle (87), R. B. Brown (41), and R. C. Saint (27) being
the chief contributors."--_Daily News and Leader._
* * * * *