(CONDUCTED BY REGINALD AUGUSTUS PLANTAGENET-HARRIS.)
_Problem 3._--A. is paying a call. His hostess offers him
bread-and-butter. He notices that the top piece has suffered from the
heat. What should A. do?
Answer adjudged correct.--A. should politely take the plate from his
hostess, murmuring, "May I offer it to you?" If she refuses he should
offer it to his nearest neighbour. When the offending slice has been
got rid of in this way he can help himself to the next slice and then
return the plate to its owner.
Highly commended.--A. should explain to his hostess that he has a
peculiar hobby, to wit, collecting slices of bread-and-butter from
the houses of the great. His collection of Royal Family slices is
unrivalled. Might he have the pleasure and honour of adding to his
collection this dainty specimen? He should then reverently fold the
slice in two and place it in his breast-pocket.
[Our only objection to this is that it seems a rather greasy thing to
do.]
Incorrect answers:--(1) A. should make a facetious remark, such as,
"Hasn't this escaped from the bread pudding?" He should then playfully
but firmly push the slice aside and trust to luck on the next.
(2) A. must out of courtesy to his hostess accept thankfully whatever
she places before him. Any other course of conduct would be an
affront. It now however becomes his personal property and he can adopt
whichever of the following courses is most convenient--
(a) Secrete it in a fancy flower-pot or in the gramophone.
(b) If the dog is a silent eater hold it behind his back so that the
dog may get it.
NOTE.--If the dog refuses to touch it, say loudly, "I
cannot understand how any animal can decline such delightful
bread-and-butter." He can then openly dispose of it in the grate or
the waste-paper-basket on the ground that the dog's nose has vitiated
its freshness.
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