'And he?' cried I.

'Was going to knock me down,' answered Jerry. 'So, as I did not wish to

come without bringing something or other to you, and as you commanded

me to get everything old; egad, I have brought three whole pieces of

damaged black cloth out of our own shop, that I thought might answer

for the hangings and curtains; and I bought a parcel of old funeral

feathers and an old pall, from an undertaker; and I bought an old harp

with five strings, that will do any thing but play; and I stole our own

parlour bell; and I borrowed a horn from the guard of a mail-coach,

which I hope will do for a trumpet; and now here they are all in the

barouche, and my bed and trunk; and a box of Mr. Higginson's.'

'But the barouche?' said I; 'how did you get that?'

'By not shewing your letter,' answered Jerry; 'and besides, the

coach-maker knew me; and I told him it was for my Lady De Willoughby,

as beautiful as an angel--but he did not mind that--and as rich as a

Jew;--but he minded that; and so he gave me the barouche, and a

shake-hands into the bargain.'

'Well, my friend,' said I, 'you did your best; so as soon as I can

raise a sufficient sum, I will furnish my castle in a style of gothic

grandeur, which your modern painters and glaziers have no notion of.

Meantime, if you and Higginson will pull down those stones that choak

the gateway, we will enter the building, and see what can be done with

our present materials.'

They commenced operations with such alacrity, that they soon cleared

away the rubbish, and in we went. Not a sign of a roof on the whole

edifice: the venerable verdure of damp stained the walls, nettles and

thistles clothed the ground, and three of the turrets, inaccessible to

human feet, were to be come at only by an owl or an angel. However, on

examining the fourth, or eastern turret, I found it in somewhat better

condition than the rest. A half-decayed ladder, leaning against an

aperture in the ceiling above, tempted me to mount, and I got into a

room of about eight feet square (the breadth of the turret), overrun

with moss and groundsel, and having a small window in one of its sides.

From the floor, another ladder reached to another aperture in the

ceiling above; and on ascending it, I found myself at the top of the

tower, round which ran a broken parapet. This tower, therefore, I

determined to fit up and inhabit; and to leave the other three in a

state of classical dilapidation, as receptacles for strange noises,

horrid sights, and nocturnal Condottieri.

I then descended, and made the minstrel and warden (for they have

consented to undertake these offices) draw the barouche within the

gateway, and convey the luggage up to the room that I meant for my

residence.

The next matter that we set about was hanging the chamber with the

black cloth; and this we contrived to do by means of wooden pegs, which

the warden cut with his knife, and drove, with a stone, through the

drapery, into the crevices of the walls. We found two of the three

pieces of black cloth sufficient to cover the sides of the room; and

when the hangings were all arranged, I gazed on their sombrous and

antique effect with the most heartfelt transport. I then named it the

BLACK CHAMBER, and gave orders that it should always be called so.

Our next object was to contrive a bed for me. Jerry, therefore,

procured some branches of trees, and after much labour, and with no

small ingenuity, constructed a bedstead, as crazy as any that ever

creaked under a heroine. We then hung it round with curtains of black

cloth; and Jerry's own bed being placed upon it, we spread the black

pall over that. Never was there a more funereal piece of furniture; and

I saw, with pride, that it rivalled the famous bed in the Mysteries of

Udolpho.

The minstrel all this time appeared stupified with astonishment, but

worked like a horse, puffing and panting, and doing every thing that he

was desired, without uttering a word.

Dinner now became our consideration, and I have just dispatched the

warden (like Peter, in the Romance of the Forest) to procure

provisions. Not a farthing has he to purchase any, since even the

half-crown which Susan gave me is already exhausted.

But the light that enters at my window begins to grow grey, and an

appropriate gloom thickens through the chamber. The minstrel stands in

a corner, muttering poetry; while I write with his pen and ink on a

stool that the warden made for me. My knees are my desk.

Adieu.

LETTER XXXVII

Just at the close of evening, Jerry came running towards the castle

with a milk-pail on his head.

'See,' cried he, putting it down, 'how nicely I have choused a little

milk-maid! There was she, tripping along as tight as her garter. 'Fly

for your life,' cries I, striding up to her: 'there is the big bull at

my heels that has just killed two children, two sucking pigs, two----

Here! here! let me hold your pail for you!' and I whips it off her

head. So, what does she do, but she runs off without it one way; and

what does I do, but I runs off with it another way. And besides this, I

have got my hat filled with young potatoes, and my pockets stuffed with

ears of wheat; and if we can't eat a hearty dinner off these dainties,

why that our next may be fried fleas and toasted leather!'

Though I was angry at the means used by Jerry to get the provisions,

yet, as dinner just then had more charms for me than moral sentiment,

instead of instructing him in the lofty doctrines of the social

compact, I bade him pound the grains of wheat between two flat stones.

In the mean time, I sent the minstrel to the cottage for a light and

some fuel; and on his return, made him stop up the window with grass

and fern. He then kindled a fire of wood in the centre of the Black

Chamber; for, as the floor was of stone, it ran no risk of being

burned. This done, I mixed some milk with the bruised wheat, kneaded a

cake, and laid it on the red embers, while Jerry took charge of

roasting the potatoes.

As soon as our romantic repast was ready, I drew my stool to the fire:

my household sat on large stones, and we made a tolerable meal, they on

the potatoes, and I on the cake, which hunger had really rendered

palatable.

The warden lifted the pail to my lips, and I took a draught of the

rural nectar; while the minstrel remarked, that Nestor himself had not

a larger goblet.

I now paid the poor cottagers a visit, and carried the fragments of our

dinner to them.

On my return, we resumed our seats, and hung over the decayed embers,

that cast a gloomy glare upon the bed and the drapery; while now and

then, a flash from the ashes, as they sank, shot a reddened light on

the paleness of the minstrel, and brightened the broad features of the

warden. The wind had risen: there was a good deal of excellent howling

round the turret: we sat silent, and looking for likenesses in the

fire.

'Come, warden,' cried I, 'repair these embers with a fresh splinter,

and let me hear the memoirs of your life.'

The warden consented, the fire was replenished, and he thus began:

'Once upon a time when pigs were swine----'

'I will trouble you for a more respectable beginning,' said I; 'some

striking, genteel little picture, to bespeak attention,--such as, "All

was dark;" or, "It was on a gloomy night in the month of November."'

'That would be the devil's own lie,' cried Jerry, 'because I was born

in January; and by the same token, I was one of the youngest children

that ever was born, for I saw light five months after my mother's

marriage. Well, being born, up I grew, and the first word I said was

mammy; and my hair was quite yellow at first, though 'tis so brown now;

and I promised to be handsome, but the symptom soon left me; and I

remember I was as proud as Lucifer when I got trowsers; and----'

'Why now, Jerry, what sort of trash is this?' said I. 'Fie; a warden

like you! I hoped to have heard something of interest and adventure

from you; that your family was respectable, though poor----'

'Respectable!' cried Jerry. 'Why, I am of the O'Sullivans, who were

kings of Ireland, and that is the very reason I have not Mister to my

name, seeing as how I am of the blood royal. Oh, if 'tis the wonderful

your ladyship wants, by the powers, I am at home thereabouts. Well, I

was iddicated in great tenderness and ingenuity, and when I came of

age, I went and seized on O'Sullivan Castle, and fortified it, and got

a crown and sceptre, and reigned in great peace many years. But as the

devil would have it----'

'Jerry,' said I, 'I must insist on hearing no more of these monstrous

untruths.'

'Untruths!' cried he. 'Why you might as well give me the lie at once. O

murder! to think I would tell a falsehood about the matter!'

'Sir,' said I, ''tis a falsehood on the very face of it.'

''Pon my conscience then,' cried he, ''tis as like your own story as

one pea is like another. And sure I did not contradict you (whatever I

might think, and I have my thoughts too, I can tell you,) when you

talked so glib of your great estates; though, to be sure, your ladyship

is as poor as a rat. Howsomever, since you will have it so, 'tis all a

falsehood, sure enough; but now you shall hear the real story; though,

for that matter, any body can tell truth, and no thanks to them.

'Well, then, my father was nothing more than a common labourer, and

just poor enough to be honest, but not poor enough to be a rogue.

Poverty is no great disgrace, provided one comes honestly by it; for

one may get poor as well as rich by knavery. So, being poor, father

used to make me earn odd pennies, when I was a boy; and at last I got

so smart, that he resolved on sending me to sell chickens at the next

town. But as I could only speak Irish at that time, by reason we lived

up the mountains, he sat down and taught me a little English, in case

any gentlefolks should ask me about my chickens. Now, Jerry, says he,

in Irish, if any gentleman speaks to you, of course it will be to know

the price of your chickens; so you are to say, _three shillings, Sir_.

Then to be sure he will be for lowering the price, so you are to say

stoutly, _No less, Sir_; and if he shakes his head, or looks angry,

'tis a sign he won't buy unless you bate a little, so you are to say,

_I believe I must take two, Sir_.

'Well, I got my lesson pat, and off I set, with my hair cut and my face

washed, and thinking it the greatest day of my life; and I had not

walked a hundred yards from the house, when I met a gentleman.

'Pray how far is it to the next village?' says he.

'Three shillings, Sir,' says I.

'You are a saucy fellow,' says he.

'No less, Sir,' says I.

'I will give you a box in the face,' says he.

'I believe I must take two, Sir,' says I.

'But, instead of two, egad, I got six, and as many kicks as would match

'em; and home I ran howling.--Well, that was very well, so when I told

father that I was beaten for nothing:

'I warrant you were not,' says he; 'and if I had done so by my poor

father, he would have broken every bone in my skin,' says he. 'But he

was a better father than I am,' says he.

'How dare you say that your father was better than my father,' says I;

and upon this, father takes me by the ear, and lugs me out of the

house. Just as we got outside, the same gentleman was passing by; and

he stopped, and began to complain of me to my father; and then the

whole matter came out, and both of them laughed very heartily.

'Well, what do you think? 'Pon my veracity, the gentleman took me home

with him to clean the knives and boots. And then he sent me to school,

where I learned English; and then I began to tend at table, and at last

became a regular servant in the family.

'Well, here I lived several years, and might have lived till now, but

that one night, when mistress had company, while bringing in the tray

of cake and wine, down I came, and broke all the glasses.

'By this and that,' says mistress; (only to be sure, mistress did'nt

swear) 'you are quite drunk,' says she.

'Never tasted a drop all day,' says I; and it was true for me, 'cause I

did not begin till evening.

'Who taught you to tell falsehoods?' says she.

'Troth, you did,' says I; 'for you taught me to tell visitors you were

not at home, when all the time you are peeping down the bannisters.

Fine fashions, indeed! Nobody is ever at home now-a-days, but a snail,'

says I. And I would have said more too, but that master kicked me out

of the house.

'Well, that was very well; and now my misfortunes were all before me,

like a wheelbarrow.

'This happened in the year of the Rebellion; so, being out of service,

I lived at alehouses; and there it was that I met gentlemen with rusty

superfine on their backs, and with the longest words in the world. They

soon persuaded me that old Ireland was going to ruin; I forget how now,

but I know I had the whole story pat at that time; and the end of it

was, that I became an United Irishman.

'Howsomever, though I would have died for my country, it would be

carrying the joke too far to starve for her, and I had now spent all my

wages. So, at last, back I went to my old master, and fell on my knees,

and begged his pardon for my bad conduct when I lived with him, and

prayed of him to take me once more. Well, he did; and it was only two

nights after that we heard a great noise outside, and master comes

running into the kitchen.

'Jerry,' says he, 'here are the rebels breaking into the house; and as

I know you are a faithful fellow, take this sword and pistol, and stand

by me.'

'No, but I will stand before you,' says I. So we mustered our men, five

in all, and posted ourselves on the head of the stairs; when in burst

the rebels into the hall, and we began a parley. 'Why then, is that

Barney Delany?' says I to their captain.

'Why then, is that Jerry Sullivan?' says he to me. 'You are one of us,'

says he, 'so now turn round and shoot your master,' says he.

'I will cut off both my hands first,' says I.

'Take that then,' says he; and he fires a shot, and I another, and to

it we kept, till we beat them all off.

'Well, in a few months afterwards, this same Barney being made

prisoner, I was bound over as witness against him. So some of the

gentlemen with the long words came to me, and told me how wrong I had

acted in fighting for my master, instead of for my country, and that I

must make amends by giving evidence in Barney's favour.

'Well, they puzzled me so, that from then till now I never could make

out whether I was right or wrong in standing by master. But somehow, I

think I was right; for though patriotism (as the gentlemen call it) is

a fine thing, yet, after all, there is nothing like gratitude. Why, if

the devil himself did me a kind office, I believe I would make shift to

do him another, and not act like the clergy, who spend their whole

lives in snubbing at him, and calling him all manner of names, though

they know, that, but for him, there would not be a clergyman or a fat

living in the kingdom.

'Howsomever, I was persuaded to do the genteel thing by Barney Delany;

so, when the day for the trial came, I drank myself pretty

unintelligible; and I swore point blank, before judge and jury, that I

did not know Barney good or bad, and that all I knew of him was good;

and I bothered the lawyers, and they turned me from the table, and

threatened to indite me for perjury. But it was the people that did

praise me, and call it iligant swearing, mighty pretty evidence; and I

was the great man of the day; and they took me to the fair that was

hard by, where we tippled a little more, and then we sallied forth ripe

for fun.

'Well, as we were running through the fair, what should I see but a

man's bald head sticking out of a hole in one of the tents--to cool, I

suppose,--so I just lifted up my cudgel, and just laid it down again;

when, in a moment, out came a whole set of fellows from the tent, and

the man asks which of us had broken his head.

'It was myself,' says I, 'but curse me if I could help it, that skull

of your's looked so inviting.

'Accordingly both parties began a battle, and then others, who had

nothing better to do, came and joined; they did not know why, but no

matter for that. Any one may fight when there is an occasion; but the

beauty of it is, to fight when there is no occasion at all.

'Howsomever, in the midst of it up came the military to spoil sport as

usual; and they dispersed us, and made some of us prisoners, I among

the rest, and we were put into Bridewell. Well, that was very well. So

at night we contrived to break it open, beat the keepers, and make our

escape. Then what to do with myself was the question. It would go hard

with me if I were caught again; so I skulked about the country several

days, till happening to meet some lads going beyond seas to reap the

English harvest, they persuaded me to buy a reaping-hook, and go with

them.

'But to be sure, to be sure, such a hurricane as we had at sea, and

such tumbling and tossing; and then we were driven to the world's end,

or the Land's End, or some end; but I know I thought I was come to my

own end. In short, such wonderful adventures never were known.'

'What adventures, my friend?' cried I. 'I love to hear wonderful

adventures.'

'Why,' said he, 'we had an adventure every moment, for every moment we

were near going to the bottom.'

'And was that all?' cried I.

'Then,' said he, 'there was such pulling of ropes, and reefing and

rigging; and we went over so many seas and channels; the Irish Channel,

and the British Channel, and the Bristol Channel, and the Baltic Sea,

and the Atlantic Sea, and---- Oh dear, as good as forty more.'

'Forty more!' cried I. 'And pray what were their names?'

'Bad luck to me if I can remember,' said he.

'Probably you were in the Red Sea,' said I.

'To be sure I was.'

'And in the Black Sea?'

'No doubt of it.'

'And in the White Sea, and the Pacific Ocean?'

'In every mother's soul of them.'

'And pray what kind of seas are they?' asked I.

'Why,' said he, 'the Red Sea is as red as blood, and the Black Sea is

as black as ink, and the White Sea is the colour of new milk, or nearer

butter-milk; and the Pacifi-ifi--What's that word?'

'Pacific,' said I.

'And what is the meaning of Pacific?' said he.

'It means peaceful or calm,' answered I.

'Gad, I thought so,' said he, 'for the devil a wave that same ocean had

on it high or low. 'Pon my conscience, it was as smooth as the palm of

my hand.'

'Take care, Jerry,' said I, laughing; 'I am afraid----'

'Why then,' cried he, 'that I may never----'

'Hush!' said I. 'No swearing.'

'By dad,' cried he, 'you had better tell my story yourself; for you

seem resolved to have it all your own way. May be you won't believe me

neither, when I tell you that I landed?'

'As you are not at sea now,' said I, 'I will believe you.'

'Well then,' said he, 'I suppose you will believe that I made a little

money by reaping, and then trudged to London to try my fortune.'

'I make no doubt of the fact,' said I. 'But pray how did you contrive

to subsist in London at first?'

'By spitting through my teeth,' said Jerry.

'Take care,' cried I. 'This I suspect is another----'

'If you mean lie,' said he, 'I have caught you at last; for 'tis as

true as true can be, and I will tell you all about it. You must know

that 'tis now the fashion for gentlemen to be their own coachmen; and

not only to drive like coachmen, but to talk, walk, dress, drink,

swear, and even spit like coachmen. Well, two days after my arrival in

London, as I was standing in the street, and looking about, I happened

to spit through my teeth, to the envy and admiration of a gentleman

that was just driving his own carriage by me. For he stopped, and

called me to him, and swore I should get half-a-crown if I would teach

him to _pickle a wig_,--that was the word. So when he gave me plain

English for it, I closed with him, and went to his house, and taught

him to spit so well, that my fame spread through the town, and all the

fashionable bloods came to me for instruction; till at last I had a

good mind to set up a Spitting Academy.

'Well, I had now spit myself into such affluence, that I refused a

coachman's seat with forty pounds a year (for, as I said, even a curate

had more than that); and may be, instead of a seat on the box, I might

at last have risen to a seat in the Parliament (for many a man has got

there by dirtier tricks than mine), but that my profession, which was

of a nature to dry up my mouth, forced me to frequent porterhouses;

where, as the devil would have it, I met other gentlemen, such as I had

met before, and with just the same set of long words.

'In a short time, all of us agreed that our country was ruined, and

that something must be done. So we made ourselves into a club, for the

purpose of writing ballads about the war, and the taxes, and a thousand

lashes that a soldier got. And we used to set ten or twelve

ballad-singers round a table in our club-room, each with her pint of

beer; and one of our club would teach them the tune with a little kit,

while I was in a cock-loft overhead composing the words. And they

reckoned me the best poet of them all; and they told me that my

writings would descend to posterity; and sometimes the thoughts came so

quick on me, that I was obliged to chalk them down on the back of the

bellows. But whenever I wanted an idea, I read the Weekly Register; and

then between the Register and the liquor, I got worked up to such a

pitch of poetry, that my blood used to run cold in the morning, at the

thoughts of what I would have done at night.

'Well, one evening, the ballad-singers were round the table, sipping

and singing to the little kit, and I had just popt down my head through

the trap-door of the cock-loft, to ask the chairman the rhime for

_Reform_:

'Confound you,' says he, 'didn't I tell you twenty times 'tis _a

storm_;' when in bursts the door, and a parcel of peace-officers seize

him, and the whole set, for holding seditious meetings, and publishing

inflammatory songs. Think of that! when I protest to you our only

object was, by causing disunion, and convincing our enemies that we

could not carry on the war, to procure a speedy and honorable peace.

'Howsomever, I got out of the scrape by being concealed in the

cock-loft; and I remember well it was on that very night I first saw my

wife.'

'Ah,' said I, 'give me the particulars of that event, the first meeting

of lovers is always so interesting!'

'Why,' said he, 'going home sorrowful enough after the ruin of our

club, I resolved to drown care in a noggin; and accordingly turned into

a gin-shop, where I found three fruit-women from Covent Garden, bound

on the same errand.'

'What dram shall we drink?' says they.

'Brandy,' says one.

'Gin,' says another.

'Anniseed-water,' says another. And so they fell to and drank.

'I am happy that I ever came to this City of Lunnun; for my fortune is

made,' says Brandy.

'If my father had lived, I would be brought up to good iddication,'

says Gin.

'If my mother had lived, I would be brought up at a boarding-school,'

says Anniseed-water.

'Why, curse you,' says Gin, 'what was your mother but an old

apple-woman?'

'And curse you,' says Anniseed-water, 'what was your father but a

gallows-bird of a bum-bailiff?'

'And then they fell a fighting and scratching; and Anniseed-water (the

present Mrs. Jerry Sullivan) was getting well cuffed, when I came to

her assistance. So that was our first meeting.'

'You may boast of it,' said I. 'Now then for your courtship.'

'You shall hear,' said he. 'She was so much obliged to me, that she

asked me home to tea, and I went. I found her a buxom widow, and at

that time she was as fine a doorful, as tight a wench over a

washing-tub, as you would wish to see. And there was her daughter, and

a great deal of good company;--the tailor's wife, and the barber's

wife, and the pawnbroker's wife; and none so grand as they. And they

told as many lies over the first dish of tea as a parcel of porters

would over twenty barrels of strong beer. And a young valet, who I

could see was courting the widow, swore that it was as good to be out

of the world as out of the fashion, and then he whispered to her that

she looked killing genteel. But I only pinched her elbow, and I thought

she liked that better.'

'It was very vulgar, however,' observed I. 'The first process is to

kiss the hand.'

'Ogh!' cried Jerry, 'that is a slobbering trick, to be mumbling

knuckles just as a pup niggles at a bone. I am the man to take at once,

and fluster a woman, and reckon her ribs for her. No creeping up, and

up, and up; and then down, and down, and down, for me--Why, as I hope

to be saved, I gave that same widow a thundering kiss on three days

acquaintance.'

'Poor thing!' exclaimed I. 'Well, and what did she say?'

'Say? why she said, "Be quiet now, though I know you can't." So, of

course, I kissed her still more; while she changed colour in a minute

as often as a blackberry in a month. "Ha done, do;" says she, "or I

will call out, only there is nobody at home;"--when, at the moment, in

pops the valet, and catches us lip to lip.

'Now he was a conceited sort of a chap, who used to set himself off

with great airs, shew his white hands--that, I verily believe, he

washed every day of his life;--curse and swear just like a gentleman,

keep a tooth-brush, and make both his heels meet when he bowed.

'Well, I had nothing upon earth to oppose to all this but a bit of a

quarrel;--that was _my_ strong point;--and sure enough, I gave him

such a beating for catching us, that the widow thought me main stout,

and married me in a week.

'With her money I set up shop; and I did not much mind her being ten

years older than myself, since she was ten times richer. I only copied

my own father there; for he once happened to be divided between two

girls, one of them with a single cow for her portion, and the other

with two cows; so he consulted his landlord which of them he should

marry, and his landlord bade him by all means marry the girl with the

two cows; "for," says he, "there is not a cow difference between any

two women."

'So now that is my history.'

'If I am to collect from it,' said I, 'the character of your countrymen

in your own class of life, I must conclude that they are frank,

generous, and noble; but neglected in their morals and education, and

oppressed by their superiors.'

'Ay, there is the matter,' said Jerry. 'By way of keeping us quiet they

keep us down. Now that is just the way to prevent our keeping quiet,

for it is natural that men who are kept down should try to rise up.'

'And why do they keep you down?' asked I.

'Because,' answered he, 'we are of one religion, and they of another;

and they say our religion is so bad, that it would make us keep them

down, if they did not keep us down.'

'Then,' said I, 'you ought to be greatly obliged to them for keeping

you down; because that is doing what they condemn, lest you should do

it. Now it is the highest possible test of good-nature, to become

criminal ourselves, in order to keep our friends virtuous.'

'A wise legislator,' said the minstrel, 'ought not to forget the

eighteenth century, in his retrospection to the sixteenth, nor in his

anticipation of the twentieth.'

'I know nothing of anticskippation,' said Jerry, 'but I will tell you a

bit of a story. When I first went to London, and was poor, I used to

dine in a cellar, with other Irishmen, where the knives and forks were

chained to the table, for fear we should steal them; though in my mind,

the surest way to make a rogue, is to let him know that you think him

one. Well, when we began to grow rich, we got a spirit, and broke the

chains, and paid for them; and broke them again, and paid for them

again, and so on. At last the master began to see that the same spirit

which made us break the chains would prevent us from stealing the

knives and forks; so he took off the chains, and then his table was no

disgrace, and we brought more company to it, and he made his fortune.'

The minstrel and warden now retired to their allotted place of

rest--the barouche. Each was to keep watch in turn at the castle gate,

and to toll the hour on the bell.

The wind still moaned round the turret; and now the fire, ghastly in

decay, but just tinged the projecting folds of the hangings. Dismal

looked the bed as I drew near; and while I lifted the velvet pall to

creep beneath, I shivered, and almost expected to behold the apparition

of a human face, starting from under it. When I lay down, I kept my

eyes quite closed, for fear of seeing something; nor was it till the

third bell had tolled that I fell asleep.

Adieu.

LETTER XXXVIII

I rose early this morning, and summoned Jerry to the Black Chamber, for

my head was teeming with the most important projects.

'My friend,' said I, 'though Lady Gwyn has already acknowledged me as

the rightful owner, not alone of this castle, but of the house that she

herself inhabits, yet I cannot apply to my tenantry for rent, or even

raise a sum of money sufficient to purchase my breakfast, till she

surrenders up those deeds and parchments which would give me a legal

claim. Now as I fear I shall find it a hard matter to make her do so, I

have resolved on proposing a compromise, and on waving all title to the

house and demesne that she now occupies, provided she will consent to

put me in formal possession of this castle, and all the land

appertaining to it.

'I have therefore determined to pay her ladyship a visit for this

purpose; but as I was driven from her house with disgrace once before,

I mean to return thither now with such a train of domestics as shall

put it out of her power to offer me insult, or detain my person.

'Now, Warden, if I could but hire a set of servants, who would consent

to live in my castle and defend it, I would, on my part, give each of

them a lot of ground, and consider them as feudal vassals; and they

could accompany me to Lady Gwyn's. I have therefore to request that you

will instantly set off, and endeavour to procure them for me, as no

time is to be lost.'

'Begging your ladyship's pardon,' said Jerry, 'you are sending me of a

fool's errand: for who but madmen would hire as servants in such a

castle as this? Would you have them build swallows' nests for

themselves under the windows, and live on suction like the snipes?'

'Mr. Sullivan,' said I, 'cast no sarcasms, but go and do as you are

desired.'

'Well, from this moment out, I say nothing,' cried Jerry. 'Nothing at

all, at all: but like the old woman's crow, I will be the devil for

thinking.'

'Another sarcasm?' said I.

'May be 'tis better for me to go at once, before I get into a scrape,'

cried he. 'So now, your ladyship, how many of these same feudal

vessels, as you call 'em; these vessels that are to have no drink----'

'Jerry!----'

'Well, well, give me my directions quick, and there is my hand on my

mouth till I am out of the castle.'

'You may hire about fifteen or twenty of them,' said I. 'But remember,

I will have no dapper footmen, with smirking faces. I must have a clan

such as we read of in the middle ages; fellows with Norman noses, and

all sorts of frowns--men of iron, fit to live in comets.'

'Better live in comets, than----' But he clapped his hand on his mouth

in time, and then ran down the steps.

During his absence, I paid a visit to the poor cottagers, and after

having sat with them awhile, and promised them assistance before

evening, I returned towards the castle.

On approaching it, I perceived, to my great surprise, Jerry also

advancing at the head of about twenty strange looking men, all armed

with bludgeons.

'Here are the boys!' cried Jerry. 'Here are the true sort. Few Norman

noses, I believe, but all honest hearts; and though they never lived in

comets, egad they lived in Ireland, and that is worth fifty comets.

Look at 'em. Hold up your heads, you dogs. They came over only to save

the hay, and reap the harvest; but when they found their countryman and

a woman in distress, they volunteered their services; and now here they

are, ready for that same Lady Gwyn, or any lady in the land.'

'Welcome, my friends,' said I; 'and be well assured that I will reward

you munificently.'

'Three cheers!' cried Jerry.

They gave three cheers.

My heart dilated with exultation at beholding this assemblage of feudal

vassals at my command; and in a moment I had arranged my project. As it

was expedient to inspire Lady Gwyn with respect and awe, I resolved on

making the best possible display of my power, taste, and feudal

magnificence. Of course, I meant to visit her in my barouche; and since

I had no horses for it, my plan was to make some of my domestics draw

it in a triumphal manner, while the rest should follow in procession.

To let them escort me in their own ragged and unclassical dresses was

impossible; but I think you will give me credit for my ingenuity in

supplying them with others. I determined to divide the black cloth into

large pieces, which they should wear as cloaks, and to stick a black

feather in each of their hats, a costume that would give them the

pleasing appearance of Udolphian Condottieri.

We now set about making the cloaks, but as we had not sufficient cloth

remaining, we were obliged to strip the Black Chamber of part of its

hangings.

I had appropriated a large portion of the cloth to make flowing drapery

for Higginson, whom I meant to take in the barouche with me; but as

minstrels never wear hats, and have always bald heads, I was at a loss

how to manage about his, since he still cherished and curled his locks,

with a spruceness most unmeet for minstrelsy. At last, after repeated

assurances how much better he would look, I persuaded him to let Jerry

shave the crown of his head.

Accordingly, Jerry performed the tonsoral operation in the Black

Chamber, while I remained below, fixing the feathers and cloaks on my

domestics. These poor fellows, who, I suppose, had never read even an

alphabet, much less a romance, in their lives, stood gaping at each

other in silent wonder, though some of them attempted unmeaning, and, I

must say, troublesome jests on what was going forward.

When drest, a more formidable and picturesque group than they presented

you never beheld, and while I was still admiring them, forth from the

turret issued the minstrel. But such a spectacle! Half his huge head

was shorn of its hair: his black garments, knotted just under his bare

neck, gave a new ghastliness to his face, while his eyes, as he

rivetted them upon me, were starting out of their sockets with anxiety

and agitation. He looked preternatural. To contain was impossible: I

began laughing, and the Irishman uttered a shout of derision.

The poor man looked round him, turned as pale as ashes; his face began

to work and quiver, and at last he burst into a piteous fit of crying.

Then suddenly lifting a prodigious stone, he whirled it at Jerry's

head, who ducked for his life, and saved it.

'And what did I do to you?' cried Jerry.

'You shaved my head because you knew it would spoil my looks,' cried

the minstrel. 'And you are endeavouring to outdo me with my mistress,

and she likes you better than me;--but it cannot be holpen. Oh, dear,

dear!'

I tried to sooth him: nothing would do, nor could I persuade him to

accompany me; so now, all being ready, I posted two sentinels on the

top of the turret, and then got into my barouche. Six vassals were

deputed to draw it, the rest followed with their oaken saplings under

their cloaks, and Jerry headed the whole. Never was a more august

procession; and I will venture to say, that this country, at least,

never saw any thing like it.

As we proceeded along the road, the people ran out of their houses to

gaze on us. Some said that we were strolling players, and others swore

that we were going to a funeral; while a rabble of boys and girls

capered at our heels, and gathered as we went.

It was not till about five o'clock that we reached Lady Gwyn's avenue.

We paused there a moment, while I made my attendants shake the dust

from their cloaks, and wipe the barouche; and now, with a beating

heart, I found myself at her door.

Jerry then pealed an authoritative rap. The door opened. The servant

stared.

'Inform the Lady Gwyn,' said I, 'that her niece, the Lady Cherubina de

Willoughby, desires the honour of a conference with her.'

The fellow grinned, and vanished; and, in a few minutes, out came her

ladyship, accompanied by several guests, some of whose faces I

remembered having seen there before. I therefore felt doubly delighted

that I had come in such feudal and chivalric pomp.

They greeted me with great kindness and respect.

Carelessly bowing to Lady Gwyn, as I sat half reclined in the barouche,

I thus addressed her:

'I now come to your ladyship with a proposal, which it is as generous

in me to offer, as it will be politic in you to accept. And first,

learn, that I am at this moment in actual possession of Monkton Castle,

the noble seat of my ancestors. To that castle, and to this house, your

ladyship has already acknowledged my just right; and to both, of

course, I can establish my claim by a judiciary process.

'As, however, I prefer a more amicable mode of adjustment, and am

willing to spare the effusion of money, I now declare my readiness to

make over this house and demesne to your ladyship, and to your heirs

for ever, on condition that you, on your part, will surrender to me,

without delay or reservation, the title deeds of Monkton Castle, and

all the Monkton estate. This is a generous proposal. What say you? Yes

or no?'

'Lady Cherubina,' returned her ladyship, 'I cannot think of entering

into terms with you, till you restore the portrait that you purloined

from this house. But, in the mean time, as a proof of my desire to

settle matters amicably, I request the honour of your company at dinner

to-day.'

'Your ladyship must excuse me,' said I, with a noble air. 'During our

present dispute respecting this house, I should deem it derogatory to

my honour and my dignity, were I to enter it in the capacity of guest.'

'Why then, death and 'ounds!' cried Jerry, 'is it to refuse so good an

offer, after starving all the morning!'

'Starving!' cried Lady Gwyn.

'We have not put a morsel inside our mouths this blessed day,' said

Jerry; 'and even yesterday we dined on potatoes and milk, and a sort of

a contrivance of a cake that your ladyship would'nt throw to your cat.'

I thought I should drop at this exposure of our poverty, and I

commanded him to be silent.

'Time enough for silence when one has spoken,' cried he. 'But sure,

would'nt it vex a saint to hear you talking about honour and dignity,

when all the time you are in a starving state!'

'Sensibly remarked,' said Lady Gwyn. 'And pray, my good fellow, who are

you?'

'My warden,' answered I quickly, lest he should speak. 'And these are

my feudal vassals; and I have left my minstrel, and the rest of my

faithful people, on the battlements of the eastern tower, just over the

Black Chamber, to guard my castle.'

'And for all this fine talk,' cried Jerry, 'we have not so much as a

rap farthing amongst the whole set of us. So pray, your ladyship, do

make her stay dinner--Do. Or may be,' (said he, getting closer and

whispering Lady Gwyn), 'may be you would just lend her half-a-crown or

so; and, 'pon my soul, I will pay you myself in ten days.'

'Silence, traitor!' cried I, rising in the barouche, and dignifying my

manner. 'I do not want a dinner: I would not accept of a dinner; but

above all, of a dinner in this house, till I am mistress of it!'

'And is it true,' cried Jerry to Lady Gwyn, 'that she is the real

mistress of this house?'

'Oh! certainly, certainly,' said her ladyship.

'Oh! certainly, certainly,' said the guests.

'Well, bad luck to me, if ever I believed it, till this moment,' cried

Jerry. 'And why then won't your ladyship give it up to her?'

'Because,' answered she, 'the quiet surrender of an estate was never

yet read of in romances.'

''Tis the only rational excuse you can assign,' said I.

'Dinner is on the table,' said the butler coming to the door.

'And so,' cried Jerry to me, 'you won't dine in this house till you are

mistress of it?'

'Never, as I hope to see heaven!' answered I.

'And so,' cried he to Lady Gwyn, 'you won't make her mistress of it?'

'Never, as I hope to see heaven!' answered she.

'Why then,' cried Jerry, 'since one refuses to dine in it till she is

mistress of it, and since the other owns that she ought to be mistress

of it, and yet won't make her mistress of it; by the powers, I will

make her mistress of it in two minutes!'

So saying, he shouted some words in an uncouth jargon (Irish, I

suppose) to my vassals, several of whom instantly darted into the

house, others brandished their sticks in the faces of the guests; Jerry

himself ran, lifted me from the barouche, and bore me into the hall;

while the rest brought up the rear, and beat back the gentlemen who

were attempting to rush between us and the door.

Jerry set me down in the hall, where I stood motionless, while some of

my domestics scudded, with merry uproar, through kitchen, parlour,

drawing-room, garret; and drove footman, maid, valet, cook, scullion,

and lap-dog, all out of the house.

'Now then,' cried Jerry, shutting the hall-door, 'your ladyship is in

quiet possession for ever and ever.'

'Jerry,' said I, 'there is no knowing how this will end. But come into

that parlour, for some of my people are making a sad riot there.'

In we went; it was the dining-room, and to my great astonishment, I

found about a dozen of my domestics already round the table, eating and

drinking as if nothing had happened. In vain Jerry and I desired them

to desist; they did not even seem to hear us. They laughed and capered,

and tore whole joints with their hands, and swallowed the richest wines

from the decanters. The rest soon flocked in, and then such a scene of

confusion arose as struck me with utter dismay. And now, having glutted

themselves, they ran to the windows, and exhibited the mangled meat and

diminished wine to the dismayed eyes of poor Lady Gwyn. There she stood

in the midst of her friends, looking like a bedlamite; and as soon as I

appeared, she beckoned me, with the most frantic gesticulations, to

open the window.

I called the warden to my side, and flung up the sash.

'Let us in, let us in!' cried she. 'My house will be destroyed by these

diabolical miscreants! Oh! let us in, let us in!'

'Lady Gwyn,' said I, 'these outrages are on my house, not on your's.

But be well assured that whatever injury your personal property may

sustain, it is contrary to my wishes, and will by me be amply

compensated.'

'Gracious powers!' exclaimed she. 'My precious cabinet, and all my

furniture will be demolished! Won't you save my house? won't you? dear

ma'am, won't you?'

'_Your_ house?' cried Jerry. 'Why I had your own word for it just now

that it was my own lady's house. So, if you told a lie, take the

consequence. But we have got possession, and let me see who will dare

drive us out.'

'Here they are that will soon drive you out!' cried a servant.

'Here they are, here they are!' echoed every one.

All eyes were now directed down the avenue, and, to my horror, I

perceived a large party of soldiers, in full march towards the house.

'We shall have a bloody battle of it,' whispered Jerry. 'But never

fear, my lady, we will fight to the last gasp. Hollo, lads, here is a

battle for you!'

At that magic word, all the Irishmen clubbed their sticks, and ran

forward.

'We must surrender,' said I. 'Never could I bear the dreadful contest.'

'By the mother that bore me,' cried Jerry, 'I will defend the house in

spite of you!'

'Then I will walk out of it,' said I.

'Well, surrender away!' cried Jerry, 'and may all the---- Oh! murder,

murder, to give up your own house without a bit of a battle!'

By this time the soldiers had arrived, and the magistrate who was at

their head, advanced, and desired me to have the door opened instantly.

'Provided you pledge yourself that none of my brave fellows shall be

punished,' answered I.

'You shall all be punished with the utmost rigour of the law,' said the

magistrate.

'Since that is the case then,' cried I, 'and since I cannot keep

possession of my house, I am resolved that no one else shall. Know,

Sir, I have, at this instant, six of my domestics, each with a lighted

brand, stationed in different apartments; and the moment you order your

men to advance, that moment I give the signal, and the house bursts

into a blaze.'

'If you dare,' cried the magistrate.

'Dare!' cried Lady Gwyn. 'The creature would dare any thing. Dare! why

she burned a house once before. She did, I protest to you; so pray,

make some conditions with her, or she will burn this now. I tell you

the girl is quite----' and she whispered something in the magistrate's

ear.

'Well,' said the magistrate to me, 'will you promise never to come here

again, provided I now let you and your gang pass without detention or

punishment?'

'I will,' answered I. 'But I must make some conditions too. In the

first place, will your ladyship give me back my cloaths and the money

that I left behind me, when I was here last?'

'I will,' answered her ladyship.

'In the next place,' said I, 'will your ladyship promise not to prevent

me from inhabiting Monkton Castle, till such time as the law shall

determine which of us has a right to the contested estates?'

'Undoubtedly,' replied her ladyship.

'And now,' said I, 'I must have the distinct and solemn declaration of

every individual present, that neither myself nor my people shall

suffer any molestation in consequence of what we have done.'

All present pledged their honours.

'Now then,' said I, 'we will open the door.'

Accordingly, the warden opened it, and I issued forth with a majestic

demeanour, while my awful band marched after their triumphant mistress.

Lady Gwyn and her guests hastened into the house, without even wishing

me good evening, and the soldiers drew up before the door.

In a few minutes, a servant came out with my dresses and the money.

Having received them, I got into my barouche, and, drawn by my vassals,

proceeded homeward. We were silent for some time, but at length I

called Jerry to the side of the carriage.

'Well, my friend,' cried I, quite cheerful, 'I think we have come off

famously.'

'Yes,' said Jerry.

'I flatter myself,' added I, 'we have made a good day's work of it.'

'Yes,' said Jerry.

'Nothing but yes!' said I. 'Why now, do you not think we have obtained

the most decisive advantages? Was it not a glorious affair?'

'Since I must speak out,' cried Jerry, 'I think it was the bluest

business that ever was botched by poltroons.'

'It was all your own doing, however,' said I. 'So now you may walk on,

Sir.'

Jerry tossed his hat at one side, and strutted forward.

'Come back, Jerry,' cried I. 'Here is my hand. You are a faithful

fellow, and would have died for me.'

'Ah, bless you!' cried he. 'You quarrel like a cat, but you make up

like an angel!'

It was night before we reached the castle; and as I had not tasted a

morsel all day, I dispatched Jerry to the village for provisions, and

other matters. I then divided six guineas among my domestics, and

desired them to return next morning, as I should want them to repair

the fortifications, dig a mote, and excavate subterranean passages.

They gave three cheers, and departed.

In about an hour Jerry returned with a cart containing an abundant

stock of provisions;--bread, meat, potatoes, tea, sugar, &c. besides, a

kettle, plates, cups and saucers, &c.

After having unloaded and dismissed the cart, we made a fire in the

Black Chamber, and supped. I then took a solitary walk, and carried

some victuals to the poor cottagers. They received the donation with

gratitude, and I left them to the comforts of a hearty meal.

It is now probable that I may reside some time at my castle; and as to

my villa, I wish Lady Gwyn joy of it; for in my opinion it is a fright.

Conceive the difference between the two. The villa mere lath and

plaster; with its pretty little stucco-work, and its pretty little

paintings, and its pretty little bronzes. Nice, new, sweet, and

charming, are the only epithets that one can apply to it; while

antique, sublime, terrible, picturesque, and Gothic, are the adjectives

appropriate to my castello. What signify laced footmen, Chinese vases,

Grecian tripods, and Turkish sofas, in comparison with feudal vassals,

ruined towers, black hangings, dampness, and ivy? And to a person of

real taste, a single stone of this edifice is worth a whole cart-load

of such stones as the onyx, and sardonyx, and the other barbarous

baubles belonging to Lady Gwyn. But nothing diverts me more than the

idea that poor Lady Gwyn is twice as old as the house she lives in. I

have got a famous simile on the subject. What think you of a decayed

nut in an unripe shell? The woman is sixty if she is a day.

Adieu.

LETTER XXXIX

The moist shadows of night had fled, dawn shook the dew from his purple

ringlets, and the sun, that well-known gilder of eastern turrets, arose

with his usual punctuality. I too rose, and having now recovered my

wardrobe, enjoyed the luxury of changing my dress; for I had worn the

same cloaths several days, and consequently was become a perfect

slattern. How other heroines manage, I cannot imagine; for I have read

of some of them who were thrown among mountains, or into cells, and

desolate chambers, and caverns; full of slime, mud, vermin, dust, and

cobwebs, where they remained whole months without clean linen, soap,

brush, towel, or comb; and, at last, when rescued from captivity, forth

they walked, glittering like the morning star, as fragrant as a lily,

and as fresh as an oyster.

We breakfasted on the top of the tower; and after our repast, the

minstrel told me that he had employed the day before in composing a

Metrical Romance, called 'Monkton Castle;' which, with my permission,

he would now repeat.

I was delighted; and to give it every advantage, I placed him at the

harp, flung his black garments over him, and making him sit on the

battlements, endeavoured to fix him in the fine attitude of old Allan

Bane; but his limbs were so muscular and impracticable, that I could

make nothing of them. With an emphatic enunciation, he thus began.

MONKTON CASTLE

A METRICAL ROMANCE

Awake, my harp, sweet plaintiff, wake once more,

Now while bedight in shadowy amice dim,

Eve bathes the mountains in her radiant gore,

And edges ocean with a fiery rim.

And while I touch, with nails ypared anew,

Thy parallel and quadrupedal strings,

May fairies brush away the vesper dew,

That else mote moist the chorded chitterlings.

And ah! full oft the learned tribe, I trow,

With baleful dews of cavil damp thy strain.

But morning shall return, the sun shall glow,

The baleful dews shall fly, the harp shall sound again.

It was a castle of turrets grey,

All nettles and chickweed inside;

Where the wind did howl the livelong day,

And the livelong night beside.

It had no windows or roof, I am sure,

Or parlour for Bell-accoyle;

Where a Belamay and a Belamoure,

In daynt Bellgards mote moyl.

'That same parlour,' said Jerry, 'has bells enough to bother the

rookery of Thomastown, and that is the largest in Ireland.'

Nathlesse, to stablish her rights, I ween,

Came to that castle fair Cherubine.

Nor the wind day and night could her astound,

Nor the nettles and chickweed that grew on the ground.

She was of the house of De Willoughby,

And her story was long and melancholie;

But her beauty never could rivalled be.

Glittered her tresses like beams of sun,

And snake-like over her neck did run.

Her cheek, where dimples made beauteous breach,

Lovelily smiled, and the down on each

Was soft as fur of unfingered peach.

While thro' her marble a blush did gleam,

Like ruddy berries, all crushed in cream.

The minstrel to the castle hied,

His mother's hope, his mother's pride.

Gramercy, how that mother cried!

He was a gentle man of thought,

And grave, but not ungracious aught.

His face with thinking lines was wrought.

And though his head was bald a space,

Than he who shore it will get grace.

'Now that is a slap at me!' cried Jerry.

Yet, though he sold full half his books,

To lay out money on his looks;

The lady had such deep disdain;

That the poor minstrel, in his pain,

From the hour that is natal,

To the hour that is fatal,

Mote sing these words, and sing in vain.

SONG

_The birds are all singing,

The bells are all ringing,

And tidings are bringing,

Of peace and of joy.

Then let us, my treasure,

In love without measure,

And tenderest pleasure,

Our moments employ._

'Eh! what? what's all that?' cried Jerry. 'Why sure--body o'me, sure

you ant--Oh, confound me, but 'tis making love to the mistress you

are!'

The minstrel blushed, and more pointedly repeated;

But her favourite warden, could he but sing,

He not unlistened, would touch the string,

Tho' he was a man with unchisseled face;

From eye to eye too little a space;

A jester withouten one attic joke,

And the greatest liar that ever spoke.

'Bad luck to you, what do you mean by that?' cried Jerry, running

towards him. 'I will box you for a shilling!'

'You are not worth one,' exclaimed the minstrel, starting up.

'I will leave your carcase not worth one,' cried Jerry.

'That would be more than your's is worth now,' returned the minstrel.

'For shame, my friends!' cried I. 'Mr. Higginson, I declare your

conduct is that of a child.'

'Because you treat me like one,' said he. 'And you treat him like a

man.'

'But you should treat him like a gentleman,' said I.

'Well, well, well,' cried the minstrel; 'there is my hand for you, Mr.

Sullivan.'

'And there is mine for you,' said Jerry. 'Hand in hand is better than

fist to fist at any time.'

'I will defer hearing the remainder of your poem,' said I, 'till you

have altered it. But my good friend, do not forget to tell that I

inhabit the _eastern_ turret, and to give a full description of it.

You might begin thus:

He who would view that east turret aright,

Must go at rosy-finger'd morning bright.'

'Rosy-fingered morning!' cried Jerry. 'Why, how can the morning have

rosy fingers?'

'It has not,' answered I. 'The poets only say so by way of ornament.'

'And yet,' cried Jerry, 'if I had said, when I was telling you my

history, that I saw a set of red fingers and thumbs rising in the east

every morning, I warrant you would have called me a liar, just as you

did about that business of the Pacific Ocean.'

'Why,' said the minstrel, 'we poets are permitted a peculiar latitude

of language, which enables us to tell Homeric falsehoods, without fear

of the society for discountenancing vice. Thus, when we speak of

The lightning of her angel smile,

we do not expect one to believe that fire comes out of her mouth,

whenever it laughs.'

'Not unless her teeth were flints,' said Jerry. 'But if you said that

fire came out of her eyes, one would believe you sooner; for this I

know, that many and many a time Molly has struck fire out of mine.'

'A heroine's eye,' said I, 'gives a greater scope to the poet than any

thing in the world. It is all fire and water. If it is not beaming, or

sparkling, it is sure to be drowned or swimming----'

'In the Pacific Ocean, I hope,' cried Jerry.

'No, but in tears,' said the minstrel. 'And of these there is an

infinite variety. There is the big tear, and the bitter tear, and the

salt tear, and the scalding tear.'

'And, ah!' cried I, 'how delightful, when two lovers lay cheek to

cheek, and mingle these tears; or when the tender youth kisses them

from his mistress's cheek!'

'Troth, then, that must be no small compliment,' said Jerry, 'since

they are so brackish and scalding as you say. Water itself is maukish

at any time, but salt water is the devil. Well, if I took such a dose

of a snivelling chit's tears, I would season it with a dram, or my name

is not Jerry.'

'And, by the by, I wish Jerry were not your name,' said I. ''Tis so

vulgar for a warden. Indeed, I have often thought of altering it to

_Jeronymo_; which, I fancy, is the Italian of _Jerry_. For, in my

opinion, nothing can equal Italian names ending in O.'

'Except Irish names beginning with O,' cried Jerry.

'Nay,' said I, 'what can be finer than Montalto, Stefano, Morano,

Rinaldo, Ubaldo, Utaldo?'

'I will tell you,' said Jerry. 'O'Brien, O'Leary, O'Flaherty,

O'Flanigan, O'Guggerty, O'Shaugnassy----'

'Oh, ecstasy!' exclaimed a voice just beneath the turret. I looked

down, and beheld--Montmorenci himself, clad in armour, and gazing up at

me with an attitude that mocked mortal pencil.

I waved my hand, and smiled.

'What? whom do I behold?' cried he. 'Ah,'tis but a dream! Yet I spoke

to her, I am sure I spoke to her; and she beckoned me. Merciful powers!

Why this terror? Is it not Cherubina, and would Cherubina hurt her

Montmorenci?'

'Jerry, Jerry,' said I; 'run down to the Black Chamber, and clean it

out quick. Sweep the ashes into a corner, hide the pipkin and kettle,

pin up the cloaks against the walls; put the leg of mutton under the

bed. Run, run.--My lord, the Lady Cherubina hastes to receive your

lordship at her ever-open portal.'

I then descended, and met him beneath the gateway. His greeting was

frantic, but decorous; mine endearing, but reserved. Several very

elegant things were said on both sides. Of course, he snatched my hand,

and fed upon it.

At last, when I supposed that Jerry had regulated the room above, I

conducted his lordship up the steps; while I anticipated his delight at

beholding so legendary, fatal, and inconvenient a chamber.

His astonishment was, indeed, excessive. He stared round and round,

admired the black hangings, the bed, the bell, and the horn.

'I see,' said he, advancing to the ashes, 'that you are even classical

enough to burn a fire of wood. But ha! (and he started,) what do mine

eyes behold beneath these embers? A BONE, by all that is horrible!

Perhaps part of the skeleton of some hysterical innocent, or some

pathetic count, who was murdered centuries ago in the haunted

apartment of this mysterious castle. Interesting relic! Speak, Lady

Cherubina. Is it as I suspect?'

'Why,' said I, 'I believe--that is to say--for aught I can tell----'

''Pon my conscience,' cried Jerry, 'her ladyship knows just as well as

I do that 'tis nothing but the blade-bone of mutton which she got

broiled for her supper last night.'

'Impossible, Sir!' exclaimed his lordship. 'A heroine never eats of a

four-footed animal. 'Tis always the leg of a lark, or the wing of a

chicken.' And so saying, he began divesting himself of his spear,

shield, and helmet.

'Pray, Mr. Blunderer,' whispered I to Jerry, 'did I not desire you to

clean out the room?'

'You did not say a word about the blade-bone,' said Jerry.

'But did I not bid you clean out the room?' repeated I.

'Don't I tell you----' cried Jerry.

'Can't you speak low?' said I.

'Don't I tell you that not one syllable about the blade-bone ever came

outside your lips?'

'Grant me patience!' said I. 'Answer me yes or no. Did I, or did I not,

order you to clean out the room?'

'Now bad luck to me,' said he, 'if you ant all this time confounding

the blade-bone of mutton with the leg of mutton that you bade me put

under the bed. And accordingly----'

'Gracious goodness!' said I, 'can't you speak within your breath?'

'And accordingly,' whispered he, 'I put it under the velvet pall,

because I thought it might be seen under the bed.'

'Well, that shewed _some_ discretion,' said I.

'Though after all my pains,' said Jerry, 'there is the man in the tin

cloaths has just stripped down that same pall, and discovered the

mutton, and the parsnips, and the bag of salt, and the pewter spoons,

and----'

'Oh, Jerry, Jerry!' said I, dropping my arms lifeless at my sides;

'after that, I give you up!'

I then called to his lordship, and drew off his attention, by beginning

an account of all that had happened since our parting. He listened with

great eagerness; and, after my recital, begged of the warden to retire

with him, that they might consult on the best line of policy to be

adopted in the present state of my affairs.

They descended the steps; I remained alone. Montmorenci had left his

helmet, shield, and spear behind. I pressed each of them to my heart,

heaved several sighs, and paced the chamber. Still I felt that I was

not half fervent or tender enough; something was still wanting, and I

had just asked myself if that something could be love, when I heard a

sudden disturbance below; his lordship crying out, 'Oh, what shall I

do?' and Jerry bidding him 'grin and bear it.'

Down I hastened, and beheld Jerry belabouring him without mercy.

'Wretch,' cried I, rushing between them: 'forbear.'

'Not till I beat him to a paste,' cried Jerry. 'The villain, to go and

offer me a bribe if I would help him in forcing you to marry him.'

''Tis false as hell!' cried his lordship.

'I would stake my life that it is,' said I. 'So now, Mr. Sullivan, down

on your knees this moment, and ask pardon, or quit my service.'

'But can that restore the teeth he has knocked out?' exclaimed his

lordship, with a finger in his mouth.

'Teeth!' cried I, shuddering.

'Two teeth,' said he.

'Two teeth!' exclaimed I, faintly.

'Two front teeth,' said he.

'Then all is over!' muttered I. 'Matters have taken a dreadful turn.'

'What do you mean?' cried he.

'My lord,' said I, 'are you quite, quite certain that you have lost

them?'

'See yourself,' cried he, lifting his lip. 'They are gone, gone for

ever!'

'They are indeed,' said I. 'And now you may be gone too.'

'Ha! what mean you?' cried he.

'My lord,' said I, 'of this you must be conscious, that a complete set

of teeth are absolutely indispensible to a hero.'

'Well?' cried he, starting.

'Well,' said I, 'having lost two of your's, you must be conscious that

you are no longer a hero.'

'You stretch my heart-strings!' cried he. 'Speak! what hideous whim is

this?'

'No whim, my lord,' answered I; 'but principle, and founded on law

heroic; founded on that law, which rejects as heroes, the maimed, the

blind, the deformed, and the crippled. Trust me, my good lord, teeth

are just as necessary in the formation of a hero as a comb.'

'By Heaven!' cried he; 'I can get other teeth at a dentist's; a

composition of paste that would amaze you. I can by all that is just.'

'That you may, my lord,' said I, 'and be happy with them; for never can

you be happy with me.'

'I am wilder than madness itself!' cried he; 'I am more desperate than

despair! I will fly to the ends of the earth, hide in a cavern, and

throw my ideas into a sonnet. On a fine summer's evening, when you walk

towards the mountains, sometimes think of me.'

'Never as a lover, my lord,' said I: 'so put that out of your head at

once. Oh! it shocks me to think I should ever have received you as

one!'

He began a tremendous imprecation; but was interrupted by the sudden

arrival of a gentleman on horseback with a servant after him. The

gentleman stopped, alighted, approached.

'Mr. Betterton!' cried I; 'can it be possible?'

'Nothing is impossible,' said he, with his obsequious bow and confirmed

smile, 'when the charming Cherubina prompts our efforts. You remember

you left me in a ridiculous dilemma, which your friend Stuart

contrived;--masterpiece of ingenuity, faith, and for which I freely

forgive him: he's an excellent young fellow; excellent, 'pon my soul;

and I have made my friends so merry with an account of that affair.

Well, I remained in limbo till the sessions, when none appearing to

prosecute, the judge discharged me; so the first use I made of my

liberty was to visit Lady Gwyn, who told me that I should find you

here; here therefore I am to pay you my devoirs.'

I thanked him, and then bade Jerry run towards the village, and hurry

my vassals; as the castle lost much of its pomp without them.

Jerry went: my visitors recognized each other; and already their

hostile feelings and opposite interests had began to manifest

themselves, when, to my great surprise, three men turned short round

the western tower, and stood before me.

'That is she!' cried one of them.

I looked at the speaker, and recognized in him the postilion who had

brought down the barouche.

'Your name is Cherry Wilkinson,' said another of them to me.

'Sir,' said I, haughtily: 'my name is Lady Cherubina de Willoughby.'

'That is your _travelling_ name,' rejoined he: 'but your real name

I discovered at your lodgings in Drury-Lane; which lodgings I found out

from the wife of one Jerry Sullivan, the man that conspired with you to

swindle Mr. Perrot, the coach-maker, out of the barouche yonder. You

see, I have the whole story; so you need not deny it; and now, Miss,

look at this warrant. I arrest you, in the king's name, for the most

audacious piece of swindling that ever came in my way to know.'

With these words he seized me, and was dragging me from the castle,

while I screamed for help.

'A rescue! a rescue!' cried Betterton, and collared the man who held

me. Montmorenci laid hold of the other, and the servant felled the

postilion to the ground. And now a furious fight began. The man whom

Betterton had seized drew a pistol and fired it: at this moment, down

came the minstrel from the turret; I got loose and ran into the castle,

nor ventured to look again, till, after much uproar, I heard a shout of

victory from my friends: then venturing to the gateway, I saw the three

wretches limping from the place, in piteous plight.

It now appeared that the ball aimed at Betterton had just grazed the

fleshy part of his servant's arm, which was bleeding a good deal. I

felt much shocked, and assisted him in binding the wound. This matter

employed some minutes, and during that time, I could perceive Betterton

and Montmorenci whispering earnestly together.

At last Betterton addressed me thus:

'Now, Lady Cherubina, should we remain here much longer, we shall

certainly be seized and imprisoned for having assaulted his majesty's

officers in the discharge of their duty. We have, therefore, nothing

for it but flight. My house is but a few miles distant, and as these

officers could not have known me, we shall be perfectly safe there.

What says your ladyship? Shall we repair thither?'

'Sir,' answered I; 'as I was not concerned in that assault, and as I am

innocent of the crime for which they came to take me, nothing shall

induce me to quit my castle: if they chuse to make another attempt, I

shall go with them, establish my innocence, and return triumphant. But

if I am to act on the skulking system, how can I reside here at all?'

Montmorenci now joined his entreaties, but I remained immoveable. Again

they retired to consult, and again came forward.

'Lady Cherubina,' said Betterton, 'you must excuse me when I say that

both Lord Montmorenci (for his lordship has just disclosed to me his

noble lineage) and myself conceive ourselves fully warranted in

compelling, if we cannot persuade your ladyship, to leave this castle

(where we cannot remain to protect you), and in conveying you to my

mansion, where you will be safe.'

'Compel me?' cried I. 'Compel me? But I disdain to hold farther parley

with you. Farewell for ever. Minstrel, follow me to the Black Chamber.'

'Stop them!' cried Betterton.

His lordship placed himself between us and the gateway: the minstrel,

brandishing his collected knuckles, struck him to the ground. Betterton

assailed my brave defender behind, the servant before; but he fought

with desperation, and his blow was like the kick of a horse. Still

numbers appeared about to prevail; and now his breathing grew shorter,

and his blow slower, when, transport to my sight! I beheld Jerry, with

several of my vassals, come running towards us. They reached us: the

tide of battle turns, and his lordship and the servant are well beaten

with bludgeons; while Jerry himself does the honours to Betterton, in a

kicking.

Nobody could bear it more gently than he did; and after it was over, he

mounted his horse and vociferated:

'Now, by all that is sacred, I will go this moment, raise the

neighbourhood, and have you driven from your nest, you set of

vipers;--you common nuisances, you! Lady Gwyn's castle shall no longer

be made the receptacle of ragged and marauding Irishmen.'

So saying, off he gallopped on one horse, and his lordship on another;

while the servant trudged on foot.

We now held a grand council of war, for affairs began to wear an

alarming aspect. If Betterton should put his threat of raising the

neighbourhood into execution, a most formidable force might be

collected against us. After much deliberation, therefore, it was

decided, that some of the vassals should be dispatched to collect more

of their countrymen, who, they said, slept in several adjoining

villages. I too wrote a note to Susan, begging that she would raise a

counterposse in my favour, and rescue me from an implacable enemy, as I

had rescued her from a criminal and fatal attachment. This note I sent

to her cottage by one of my vassals.

During this awful interval, the remainder of those who had been with me

yesterday arrived. I planted sentinels and outposts, and employed the

rest in filling up the windows with stones, repairing the breaches, and

searching amidst the rubbish for the mouth of some subterranean cavern,

where I might conceal myself in the last emergency.

As I had not a white and azure standard, like Beatrice, I directed

Jerry to stain a large piece of muslin with the blood of the wounded

servant, which still besprinkled the grass; then to fasten it on a long

pole, and hoist it, as my banner, at an angle of the eastern turret.

Susan's cottage being only half a mile from the castle, the messenger

soon returned with an answer, that she would certainly assemble her

friends, and come to me. Just as he had announced these happy tidings,

another came back, with a fresh accession of ten Irishmen; and in a

short time more arrived; till at length we mustered to the amount of

fifty.

I stood, and gloried in my strength. Already I beheld the foundation of

a feudal settlement. Already I considered myself the restorer of that

chivalric age, when neighbouring barons were deadly foes, and their

sons and daughters clandestine lovers. Ah! what times for a heroine! it

was then that the Lady Buccleugh and the Duchess of Cleves flourished.

'And these,' cried I, in an ecstasy of enthusiasm, 'these shall again

revive in the person of Lady Cherubina De Willoughby!'

As I spoke, Jerry came to tell me that one of the scouts had just

returned with information of his having seen a large party of Lady

Gwyn's tenants assembling about a quarter of a mile off; in order, as

he found on inquiry, to drive us from the castle.

Now then was approaching the most important moment of my life, and I

resolved to support my part with dignity. As the first step, I dressed

myself in a style of magnificence suited to the occasion. Having flung

the drapery of embroidered gauze over my white muslin, I next (in

imitation of ancient heroines, who wore armour in the day of battle),

put Montmorenci's helmet on my head; then, with his shield in the one

hand, and his spear in the other, never did I look so lovely.

I now called up the warden, and constituted him commander of the

forces; then ordered him to send six picked men, and the minstrel, as

my body-guards, up to the Black Chamber.

They came; I equipped them in black cloaks and feathers, and made them

mount to the top of the tower. In a few minutes afterwards I myself

ascended with a beating heart. There I found the preparations for

battle almost completed. The bloody standard was streaming to the gale;

the body-guards were collecting a heap of stones from the broken

parapet; while beneath the turret I beheld the whole of my troops, with

oaken staffs, marshalled in awful array. The spectacle was grand and

imposing. Lightly I leaned on my spear; and while my feathered casque

pressed my ringlets, and my purfled drapery floated and glistened in

the sun, I stood on the battlements, mildly sublime, sweetly stern,

amiable in arms, and adorned with all the terrible graces of beauty

belligerent.

I now resolved to harangue my men for the purpose of encouraging them,

and of attaching them to my person; but as I knew nothing of political

orations, I had nothing for it but to copy the speech of Beatrice in

the Knights of the Swan; and those that I had read in the daily prints.

A profound silence prevailed; I waved my spear, and thus began.

'My brave associates, partners of my toil, my feelings and my fame! Two

days have I now been sovereign of this castle, and I hope I may flatter

myself that I have added to its prosperity. Young, and without

experience, I merely claim the merit of blameless sentiments and

intentions.

'Threatened with a barbarous incursion from my deadliest enemies, I

have deemed it indispensible to collect a faithful band of vassals for

my defence. They have come at my call, and I thank them.

'I promise to them all such laws and institutions as shall secure

their happiness. I will acknowledge the majesty of the people.

(_Applause._) I will give to them a full, fair, and free

representation. (_Applause._) And I will grant to them a radical

reform; or in other words, a revival of the feudal system. (_Shouts of

applause._) I will assume no monarchial prerogatives that are unjust;

if I should, do not forget that the people have always the power and

the right to depose a tyrant.

'I promise that there shall be no dilapidated hopes and resources; no

army of mercenaries, no army of spies, no inquisition of private

property, no degraded aristocracy, no oppressed people, no confiding

parliament, no irresponsible minister. (_Acclamation._) In short, I

promise every thing. (_Thunders of acclamation._)

'Each man shall have an acre of ground, a cottage, and an annual

salary. (_Long life to you! cried the troops. That is the best thing

you have said!_) Such is the constitution, such are the privileges

that I propound to you. Now then, my brave fellows, will you consent on

these conditions to rally round my standard, to live in my service, and

to die in my defence? (_We will! we will! cried they._)

'Thank you, my generous followers; and the crisis is just approaching

when I shall have occasion for your most strenuous exertions. Already

my mortal foe prepares to storm my castle, and drive me from my

hereditary domain. Already he has excited my own tenantry to sedition

against me. Should he succeed in his atrocious object, I must return

to my tears, and you to your sickles. But should we repel him, my

government will be secured, my territory perhaps enlarged, my castle

rebuilt; and the cause of liberty will triumph. What heart but throbs,

what voice but shouts, at the name of liberty? (_Huzza!_) Is there a

man amongst you who would refuse to lay down his life for liberty?

(_Huzza!_) And if, on an important occasion like the present, I might

take the liberty--(_Huzza!_) to dictate, I would demand of you this

day to sacrifice every earthly consideration in her sacred cause. I do

demand it of you, my friends. I call upon your feelings, your

principles, and your policy, to discard family, property, and life, in

a cause so just, so wise, and so glorious. Let eye, foot, heart, hand,

be firm, be stern, be valiant, be invincible!'

I ceased, the soldiery tore the blue air with acclamations, and the

ravens overhead flew swifter at the sound.

I now found that it was not difficult to make a popular speech; and I

judged that the same qualities which have made me so good a heroine,

would, if I were a man, have made me just as illustrious a patriot.

After much entreaty, I persuaded the minstrel to deliver an address; as

he, being learned, might expound constitutions and political economy

better than I. He therefore leaned over the battlements, and began.

'Gentlemen,

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I feel that words are

inadequate to express my high sense of the honour you have

conferred upon us. Gentlemen, I will institute an apt comparison

between the foundation of this little settlement, and that of the

ancient Romans; in order to prove, that this, though small at

present, may, like that, terminate in an extensive empire.

Gentlemen, Rome took its rise from a set of the greatest beggars

and reprobates that ever crawled upon earth----'

'Throw him over, throw him over!' burst from the troops.

The minstrel shrunk back in consternation.

'Silence, lads,' cried Jerry, 'and I will make a bit of a speech for

you; but instead of sending you to Rome, I will send you no farther

than Ballinasloe. (_Laughter and bravo!_) Eh, my boys, don't you

remember the good old fun at the fair there? To be sure, how we used to

break each other's heads, without the least anger or mercy; and to be

sure, 'tis the finest feel in the world, when one gives a fellow a

neat, clean, bothering blow over the skull, and down he drops like a

sack; then rises, and shakes himself like a wet dog, and begins again.

(_Much laughter._) Ay, my boys, fighting may be an Englishman's or

a Frenchman's business, but by the Lord Harry, 'tis an Irishman's

amusement! (_Shouts._) So now, hearties, all you have to do is to

club your sticks, and fancy yourselves at Ballinasloe; and never heed

me if we havn't a nice comfortable fight of it.'

Rude as was this rhetoric, it touched the domestic spring of their

hearts, and my patriotic promises did not produce half such a roar of

delight as followed it.

Silence was but just restored, when I beheld, from my turret, our

enemies advancing in vast numbers across the common. I confess my heart

sank at the sight; but I soon called to mind the courage of the feudal

heroines, and recollected that I was in no personal danger myself.

Then, the greatness of the cause animating me with ardour, I exclaimed:

'Lo! yonder come our enemies. To arms, to arms! Sound the tocsin; blow,

blow the horn!'

A vassal blew the horn.

The warden then stationed his men in front of the gate-way, which was

the only vulnerable entrance into the castle; and my body-guards,

holding huge stones, stood forward on the battlements. All was ready. I

trembled with agitation.

And now the foe, having approached within fifty paces, halted to

reconnoitre. The traitor Montmorenci, divested of his armour, commanded

them in person. Betterton was seen on horseback at a distance; and the

troops themselves, about sixty in number, stood brandishing stakes,

bludgeons, and poles. As my men were not more than fifty in all, I

looked round, with anxious expectation, for the succours promised by

Susan; but no sign of them appeared.

Montmorenci now began to form his troops into a compact phalanx, with

the poles and stakes in front; evidently for the purpose of piercing

our line, and forcing the gateway. Jerry, therefore, called in his

wings, and strengthened the centre. He then desired those in the turret

to direct all their stones against the foremost rank of the foe.

'Soldiers,' cried I, 'listen to my last commands. The moment you shall

hear the horn sound again, whether in the midst of conquest, or of

defeat, hurry back to the gateway, and draw up just as you stand at

present; for while you are fighting at a distance, my castle may be

taken by surprise, unless I secure prompt assistance. And now, my brave

fellows, success attend your arms!'

As I spoke, the foe began advancing at a rapid rate: my troops awaited

them with firmness; and when they had approached within fifteen paces

of the castle, I gave the word to my body-guards, who hurled several

vollies of stones in quick succession. Some of the foremost rank were

staggered by them; two behind fell, and amidst the confusion, in rushed

my troops with a tremendous shout. Thick pressed the throng of waving

heads, and loud grew the clamour of voices, and the clatter of staffs;

while the wielded weapons appeared and disappeared, like fragments of a

wreck on the tossing surges. For some moments both armies fought in one

unbroken mass; those struggling to gain the gateway, these to prevent

them. But soon, as two streams rushing from opposite mountains, and

meeting in the valley, broaden into a lake, and run off in little

rivulets; so the contending ranks, after the first encounter, began to

spread by degrees, and scatter over the plain. And now they were seen

intermingled with each other, and fighting man to man. Here a small

wing of my brave troops, hemmed in on all sides, were defending

themselves with incredible fury. There a larger division of them were

maintaining a doubtful contest: while a few straggling vassals, engaged

in single combat, at a distance, were driving their antagonists before

them.

At this juncture, Montmorenci, with a chosen band that he kept round

his person, had attacked the warden, and a few who fought by his side.

These performed prodigies of valour; but at last, overpowered by

numbers, they were beginning to retire, covered with glory, when I

dispatched four of my body-guards, as a corps of reserve, to their

assistance. They rushed upon the chosen band, and checked its career.

It soon received reinforcements, and again pressed forward. I sent out

the minstrel and another vassal; and again its progress was checked.

But now my castle had but a single defender: our foes were drawing

frightfully near; and if they could once turn our flank, they would

gain the turret, and make me their prisoner. This was the great crisis.

A moment more, and all might be lost.

'Blow, blow the horn!' cried I.

The vassal blew the horn.

At the signal, I see my dispersed troops come pouring from all quarters

towards the castle. They reach the gateway, halt, and form a front

before it. The foe, who had followed them in a confused manner, seeing

them on a sudden so formidable, stop short.

'Let the body-guards come into the castle!' cried I.

The body-guards obeyed.

'Now, soldiers,' cried I to the rest, 'if you rush upon the foe before

they can collect again, and keep in a body with your captain, the day

is our own.' 'Spring on them like lions! Away, away!'

The whole army shouted, and burst forward in a mass. Jerry led the van.

Montmorenci with his sacred squadron fled before them. They pursued,

overtook the fugitives, and after a short skirmish, made the whole

detachment prisoners; while the remainder, scattered in all directions,

stood at a distance, and dared not advance. Never was a more decisive

victory. My brave veterans marched back in triumph with eight captives;

and then halting at the gateway, gave three cheers.

Palpitating with transport, I commanded that the prisoners' hands

should be tied behind their backs, and that they should be confined in

the northern tower, with sentinels over them.

As for Lord Montmorenci, his rank entitled him to more respect; so I

ordered the warden to conduct him up to the Black Chamber.

I stood in the midst of my guards to receive him; and if ever grandeur

and suavity were blended in one countenance, it was in mine, at that

glorious moment.

'My lord,' said I, 'victory, which so long hovered over the field with

doubtful wing, has at last descended on my legions, and crowned the

scale of justice with the laurel of triumph. But though it has also put

the person and the fate of the hostile chieftain in my hands, think not

I mean to use my power with harshness. Within these walls your lordship

shall experience the kindest treatment; but beyond them you must not be

permitted to go, till my rights are re-established and my rebellious

vassals restored to their allegiance.'

'Fal lal la, lal lal la,' said his lordship, stepping a minuet.

'Pinion him hand and foot!' cried I, quite disgusted and enraged. 'I

will have no minuets in this castle.'

'That I will do,' cried Jerry, 'for his feet are nimble enough at

making off. Though he talks big, he runs fast. The creature is all

voice and legs, like a grasshopper.'

Just as the minstrel and warden had secured his wrists and ankles with

a handkerchief, a vassal came to tell me that a number of men, and a

girl at their head, were running towards the castle.

'I thought she would not disappoint me!' cried I, as I hastened down to

meet her. It was, indeed, Susan herself, and a train of youths. I stood

at the gateway ready to receive her, and trembling with terror, lest

Betterton and the routed remains of his army, who were now consulting

together at some distance, should intercept her.

These fears were not at all lessened when I saw her stop, as she

arrived amongst them, and converse with them some time. I made my men

hold themselves in readiness to support her, and we shouted to her with

all our might. But just judge of my consternation, when I beheld her

and her party enrolling themselves in the hostile ranks, and the whole

allied force preparing to pour down upon us! I stood horror-struck. Her

ingratitude, her perfidy, were incredible.

But I had no time for moral reflection. My own glory and the interests

of my people demanded all my thoughts. What was I to do? We had taken

but eight prisoners, and these too would require a strong guard; while

the traiterous Susan had brought a reinforcement of twenty men to the

foe; so that to contend against such superior numbers in the field

would be madness.

I determined therefore to draw all my troops and all my prisoners into

the eastern turret, and to stand a regular siege; for, as we had a

large stock of provisions, we might hold out several days. In the mean

time our enemies, tired of such a protracted mode of warfare, and

having other occupations of more importance, would probably retire and

leave us in quiet possession.

This plan was put into instant execution. I had the prisoners placed in

the Black Chamber, with a numerous guard; and I made the remainder of

my soldiery man the battlements.

These arrangements were but just completed, when I beheld our

formidable opponents advancing in line, with Betterton, on horseback,

at their head. Again my men armed themselves with stones; again the

horn was sounded; again three cheers were given.

When the besiegers had arrived within forty paces of us, they halted.

Then Betterton, waving a white handkerchief, advanced under the walls,

and spoke thus:

'Lady Cherubina De Willoughby, I demand of you to surrender at

discretion. Refuse, and I pledge myself that in five minutes I will

drive the leopard into the sea, and plant my standard on the towers of

Monkton.'

'Sir, I both refuse, and defy you. My castle is impregnable.'

'Not to hunger, at least,' cried Betterton; 'for we will turn the siege

into a blockade.'

'Yes, to hunger!' exclaimed the minstrel, flinging down half a loaf of

bread, that had remained since breakfast. 'There, Sir, is a proof of

it, deduced from the Roman history!'

'As I perceive that war is inevitable,' said Betterton, 'I shall stand

acquitted both here and hereafter for all its consequences by my now

just going through the form of proposing a GENERAL PACIFICATION.'

'Pacific Ocean!' cried Jerry. 'No, thank you; I have got a surfeit of

that word already.'