DIARY.--REFLECTIONS.--SICKNESS.--LETTER PROM REV. DR.
SHARP.--CORRESPONDENCE.
On the first of January, 1850, Mr. Lawrence, as usual, reviews, in his
property-book, the state of his affairs during the preceding year,
with an estimate of his expenditures. The entry for the present year
is as follows:
"The amount of my expenditures for all objects (taxes included)
is about one hundred and twenty thousand dollars. I consider the
money well spent, and pray God constantly that I may be watchful
in the use of the blessings he bestows, so that at last he may
admit me among the faithful that surround his throne."
The above entry will give some idea of the fidelity with which his
trusts had been fulfilled, so far as regarded his worldly possessions.
Each year, as it rolled by, as well as each successive attack of
illness, seemed only to stimulate him in his efforts to accomplish
what he could while the day lasted. No anxious fears disturbed him as
he looked forward to the near approach of "that night when no man can
work." That night to him was but a prelude of rest from bodily
weakness and suffering, and the forerunner of a brighter day, of
which, even in this world, he was sometimes permitted to obtain a
glimpse. He says:
"My own health and strength seem renewed. That cholera attack has
changed the whole man; and it is only now and then I am brought
to a pause that quickens me in my work when again started. A week
since, I ventured on two ounces of solid food for my dinner,
differing from what I have taken for many years. Nine hours
after, in my sleep, I fainted, and was brought to life by dear N.
standing over me, giving ammonia, rubbing, and the like. Fasting
the day following brought me back to the usual vigor and
enjoyments. Do you not see in this the sentence, 'Do with thy
might what thy hand findeth to do,' stereotyped in large letters
before me. This it is that brings me to the work at this hour in
the morning."
* * * * *
"_March 24._--Received a letter from Rev. Mr. Hallock, Secretary
of the American Tract Society, saying that the Society will
publish Dr. Hamilton's lecture on the literary attractions of the
Bible, which I had sent them a few weeks since; and will supply
me with two thousand copies, as I requested.
"Received also, this morning, another tract of Dr. H. from sister
K., in London; called the 'Happy Home,' which finished that
series to the working people. After reading this number, I feel a
strong desire to see the preceding nine numbers."
(TO THE REV. JAMES HAMILTON, D.D.)
"BOSTON, March 24, 1850.
"REV. AND DEAR SIR: I need not repeat to you how deeply
interesting all your writings which I have seen have been to me;
but you may not feel indifferent to the fact that the lecture you
delivered four months ago, on the literary attractions of the
Bible (which I received from my sister, Mrs. Abbott Lawrence, a
few weeks since), is now in process of republication by the
American Tract Society, agreeably to my request. I hope to assist
in scattering it broadcast over our broad land; and thus you will
be speaking from your own desk, with the speed of light, to an
audience from Passamaquoddy to Oregon. Will you do me the favor
to give me a copy of 'Happy Home,' from which I may teach my
children and grandchildren.
"Respectfully your friend, and brother in Christ,
"AMOS LAWRENCE."
(TO A COUNTRY CLERGYMAN (ORTHODOX CONGREGATIONAL).)
"BOSTON, May 16, 1850.
"REV. AND DEAR SIR: I make no apology in asking your acceptance
of the above, as I am quite sure it cannot come amiss to a poor
clergyman, situated as you are. I pray that you will feel, in
using it, you cheer my labors, and make me more happy while I am
able to enjoy life, in thus sending an occasional remembrancer to
one for whom I have always felt the highest respect and esteem.
Your friend,
"AMOS LAWRENCE."
The above letter contained a draft for one hundred dollars, of which
Mr. Lawrence makes the following memorandum, dated on the 18th:
"Mr. ---- acknowledges the above letter in very grateful terms,
being what his pressing wants require."
In a letter to President Hopkins, dated June 22, Mr. Lawrence says:
"If I cannot visit you bodily, as I had vainly hoped to do, I can
convince you that the life and hope of younger days are still in
me. Your parting word touched me to the quick, and I cannot
repeat or read it without a sympathetic tear filling my own eye.
I am not able to stand up; but am cheered by the hope that,
before many weeks, I may be able to stand alone. Our good friend
Governor Briggs called to see me this week, and was quite
horrified to see me trundled about on a hospital chair; however,
after a good talk, he concluded that what was cut off from the
lower works was added to the upper, and the account in my favor.
It has always been so with me; the dark places have been made
clear at the right time; so I am no object of pity."
The lameness here mentioned was caused by a slight sprain of the
ankle, but was followed by great prostration of the bodily strength,
and a feeble state of all the functions, resulting in that vitiated
state of the blood called by physicians "purpura." Violent hemorrhages
from the nose succeeded; and these, with the intense heat of the
weather, so reduced his strength, that the only hope of recovery
seemed to be in removing him from the city to the bracing air of the
sea-shore. Towards the end of July, he was accordingly removed upon a
mattress to the house of his son, at Nahant; and, from the moment he
came within the influence of the fresh sea-breeze, he began to recover
his spirits and his strength. A day or two after reaching Nahant, he
received from his friend, the Rev. Dr. Sharp, the following letter,
which is so characteristic, and reminds one so forcibly of the calm
and staid manner of that venerable man, that it is given entire:
"BOSTON, July 30, 1850.
"MY VERY DEAR FRIEND: It was with deep regret I learned, on
Friday last, that you were quite unwell, and at Nahant. It was in
my mind yesterday morning to visit you; nothing prevented me but
an apprehension that it might be deemed inexpedient to admit any
one to your sick room, except your own family. But, although I
have not seen you in person since your last sickness, yet I have
been with you in spirit. I have felt exceedingly sad at the
probability of your earthly departure. Seldom as we have seen
each other, your friendship has been precious to me; and, to say
nothing of your dear family, your continuance in life is of great
importance to that large family of humanity, the poor, who have
so often participated in your bounty. Indeed, as we cannot well
spare you, I rather cherish the hope that, in his good
providence, God will continue you to us a little longer. But,
whatever may be the issue of your present illness, I trust that
you, with all your friends, will be enabled to say, 'The will of
the Lord be done.' If he 'lives the longest who answers life's
great end,' your life, compared with most, has not been short.
Not that any of us have done more than our duty. Nay, we have all
come short, and may say, with all modesty and truthfulness, we
are unprofitable servants; although, in some respects, and to our
fellow-beings, we may have been profitable. I trust, my dear
friend, you are looking for the mercy of God, through our Lord
Jesus Christ, unto eternal life. Death is not an eternal sleep;
no, it is the gate to life. It opens up a blessed immortality to
all who, in this world, have feared God and wrought
righteousness. This world is a probationary state; if we have
been faithful, in some humble degree, to our convictions of duty;
if we have regretted our follies and sins; if we have sought to
do the will of our heavenly Father, and sought forgiveness
through the mediation of his Son,--God will receive us to his
heavenly glory. I believe, in his own good time, he will receive
you, my very dear friend; although my prayer is, with submission,
that he will restore you to comfortable health, and allow you to
remain with us a little longer. May God be with you, and bless
you, in life, in death, and forevermore! With most respectful
regard to Mrs. L., and sympathy with you in your afflictions, in
which my dear wife joins,
I am truly yours,
DANIEL SHARP."
From Little Nahant, Mr. Lawrence writes to a friend, under date of
Aug. 16:
"I have just arisen from bed, and am full of the matter to tell
you how much good your letter has done. I came here as the last
remedy for a sinking man; and, blessed be God, it promises me
renewed life and enjoyment. What is it for, that I am thus saved
in life, as by a miracle? Surely it must be in mercy, to finish
out my work begun (in your college and other places), yet
unfinished. Pray, give us what time you can when you visit
Andover. If I continue to improve as I have done for ten days, I
hope to return home next week; but may have some drawback that
will alter the whole aspect of affairs. This beautiful Little
Nahant seems to have been purchased, built up, and provided, by
the good influence of our merciful Father in heaven upon the
heart of ----, that he might save me from death, when it was made
certain I could not hold out many days longer. Surely I am called
on by angel voices to render praise to God."
The five weeks' residence upon the sea-shore was greatly enjoyed by
Mr. Lawrence. As the weather was generally fine, much of his time was
passed in the open air, in watching the ever-varying sea-views, in
reading, or in receiving the visits of his friends. Near the end of
August, his health and strength had become so far restored as to
warrant his return to the city, and, as his memoranda show, to
increased efforts in the field of charity.