_THE FAMILY_
_Virtue_--Purity preserves, sustains and increases. 16:108.
The principle of pure affection is the gift of God, and it is for us to
learn to control it and exercise proper dominion over it. 6:149.
Learn the will of God, keep his commandments and do his will, and you
will be a virtuous person. 3:204.
Any man who humbles a daughter of Eve to rob her of her virtue,
and cast her off dishonored and defiled, is her destroyer, and is
responsible to God for the deed. If the refined Christian society of
the nineteenth century will tolerate such a crime, God will not; but
he will call the perpetrator to an account. He will be damned; in hell
he will lift up his eyes, being in torment, until he has paid the
uttermost farthing, and made a full atonement for his sins. 11:268.
The defiler of the innocent is the one who should be branded with
infamy and cast out from respectable society, and shunned as a pest,
or, as a contagious disease, is shunned. The doors of respectable
families should be closed against him, and he should be frowned upon by
all high-minded and virtuous persons. Wealth, influence and position
should not screen him from their righteous indignation. His sin is one
of the blackest in the calendar of crime, and he should be cast down
from the high pinnacle of respectability and consideration, to find his
place among the worst of felons. 11:267.
I would rather follow her to the grave, and send her {301} home pure,
than suffer my daughter to be prostituted. I will not suffer any female
member of my family to be polluted through the corruptions of wicked
men. 2:322.
Ever since I knew that my mother was a woman I loved the sex, and
delighted in their chastity. The man who abuses, or tries to bring
dishonor upon the female sex is a fool, and does not know that his
mother and his sisters were women. 12:194.
_Marriage_--Let every man in the land over eighteen years of age
take a wife, and then go to work with your hands and cultivate the
earth, or labor at some mechanical business, or some honest trade to
provide an honest living for yourselves and those who depend upon you
for their subsistence; observing temperance, and loving truth and
virtue; then would the woman be cared for, be nourished, honored and
blest, becoming honorable mothers of a race of men and women farther
advanced in physical and mental perfection than their fathers. This
would create a revolution in our country, and would produce results
that would be of incalculable good. 12:194-195.
Young men, fit you up a little log cabin, if it is not more than ten
feet square, and then get you a bird to put in your little cage. You
can then work all day with satisfaction to yourself considering that
you have a home to go to, and a loving heart to welcome you. You will
then have something to encourage you to labor and gather around you the
comforts of life, and a place to gather them to. Strive to make your
little home attractive. Use lime freely, and let your houses nestle
beneath the cool shades of trees, and be made fragrant with perfume of
flowers. 12:204.
The Lord says--Let my servants and handmaidens be sealed, and let their
children be sealed. 12:164. {302}
We understand that we are to be made kings and priests unto God; now if
I be made the king and lawgiver to my family, and if I have many sons,
I shall become the father of many fathers, for they will have sons, and
their sons will have sons, and so on, from generation to generation,
and, in this way, I may become the father of many fathers, or the king
of many kings. This will constitute every man a prince, king, lord, or
whatever the Father sees fit to confer upon us.
In this way we can become king of kings, and lord of lords, or father
of fathers, or prince of princes, and this is the only course, for
another man is not going to raise up a kingdom for you. 3:265-266.
But the whole subject of the marriage relation is not in my reach, nor
in any other man's reach on this earth. It is without beginning of days
or end of years; it is a hard matter to reach. We can tell some things
with regard to it; it lays the foundation for worlds, for angels,
and for the Gods; for intelligent beings to be crowned with glory,
immortality, and eternal lives. In fact, it is the thread which runs
from the beginning to the end of the holy Gospel of Salvation--of the
Gospel of the Son of God; it is from eternity to eternity. 2:90.
When a man and woman have received their endowments and sealings[A], and
then had children born to them afterwards, those children are legal
heirs to the Kingdom and to all its blessings and promises, and they
are the only ones that are on this earth. There is not a young man in
our community who would not be willing to travel from here to England
to be married right, if he understood things as they are; there is not
a young woman in our community, {303} who loves the Gospel and wishes
its blessings, that would be married in any other way; they would live
unmarried until they could be married as they should be, if they lived
until they were as old as Sarah before she had Isaac born to her. Many
of our brethren have married off their children without taking this
into consideration, and thinking it a matter of little importance. I
wish we all understood this in the light in which heaven understands
it. 11:118.
[Footnote A: In the Temple--For Eternity.]
Our children who are born in the Priesthood are legal heirs, and
entitled to the revelations of the Lord, and as the Lord lives, his
angels have charge over them, though they may be left to themselves
occasionally. 12:174.
There is no ecclesiastical law that you know anything about, to free
a wife from a man to whom she has been sealed, if he honors his
Priesthood. 8:345.
I will give each of the young men in Israel, who have arrived at an age
to marry, a mission to go straightway and get married to a good sister,
fence a city lot, lay out garden and orchard and make a home. This is
the mission that I give to all young men in Israel. And I say to you,
sisters, if you do not know how to milk a cow, you can soon learn. If
you do not know how to feed the cows, you can learn. If you do not know
how to feed the chickens, get them and learn how, and if your husband
takes you to live in ever so small and humble a cottage, make it neat
and nice and clean, and set out flowers around the doors, and let the
husband plant fruit trees and shade trees, and let wives help their
husbands that they may be encouraged to take hold of more important
business that will create an income sufficient to sustain their wives,
and by economy and care become wealthy in a short time, and have your
carriage to ride in. What a satisfaction it will be to you to know that
{304} what you possess is the result of your industry and economy.
12:200-201.
_Do Not Marry Unbelievers_--Be careful, O ye mothers in Israel,
and do not teach your daughters in future, as many of them have been
taught, to marry out of Israel. Woe to you who do it; you will lose
your crowns as sure as God lives. 12:97.
What was the cause of the first, or one of the first, curses that
came upon Israel? I will tell you. One of the first transgressions of
the family called Israel, was their going to other families or other
nations to select partners. This was one of the great mistakes made by
the children of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, for they would go and marry
with other families, although the Lord had forbidden them to do so,
and had given them a very strict and stringent law on the subject. He
commanded them not to marry among the Gentiles, but they did and would
do it. Inasmuch as they would not do what he required of them, then he
gave them what I call a portion of the law of carnal commandments. This
law told them what they might and whom they might not marry. It was
referred to by the Savior and his Apostles and it was a grievous yoke
to place on the necks of any people; but as the children of this family
would run after Babylon, and after the pride and the vanity and evils
of the world, and seek to introduce them into Israel, the Lord saw fit
to place this burden upon them. 16:111.
How is it with you, sisters? Do you distinguish between a man of God
and a man of the world? It is one of the strangest things that happens
in my existence, to think that any man or woman can love a being that
will not receive the truth of heaven. The love this Gospel produces
{305} is far above the love of women; it is the love of God--the love
of eternity--of eternal lives. 8:199-200.
_Birth Control_--There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits
waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?--To prepare
tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive
those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be
trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is
the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for
all the spirits they can. 4:56.
This is the reason why the doctrine of plurality of wives was revealed,
that the noble spirits which are waiting for tabernacles might be
brought forth. 4:56.
To check the increase of our race has its advocates among the
influential and powerful circles of society in our nation and in
other nations. The same practice existed forty-five years ago, and
various devices were used by married persons to prevent the expenses
and responsibilities of a family of children, which they must have
incurred had they suffered nature's laws to rule preeminent. That
which was practiced then in fear and against reproving conscience, is
now boldly trumpeted abroad as one of the best means of ameliorating
the miseries and sorrows of humanity. Infanticide is very prevalent
in our nation. It is a crime that comes within the purview of the
law, and is therefore not so boldly practiced as is the other equally
great crime, which no doubt, to a great extent, prevents the necessity
of infanticide. The unnatural style of living, the extensive use of
narcotics, the attempts to destroy and dry up the fountains of life,
are fast destroying the American element of the nation; it is passing
away before the increase of the more healthy, robust, honest, and less
sinful class of the {306} people which are pouring into the country
daily from the Old World. The wife of the servant man is the mother
of eight or ten healthy children, while the wife of his master is the
mother of one or two poor, sickly children, devoid of vitality and
constitution, and, if daughters, unfit, in their turn, to be mothers,
and the health and vitality which nature has denied them through the
irregularities of their parents are not repaired in the least by their
education. 12:120-121.
_The Husband_--Let the father be the head of the family, the
master of his own household; and let him treat them as an angel would
treat them; and let the wives and the children say amen to what he
says, and be subject to his dictates, instead of their dictating the
man, instead of their trying to govern him. 4:55.
Now let me say to the First Presidency, to the Apostles, to all the
Bishops in Israel, and to every quorum, and especially to those who
are presiding officers, Set that example before your wives and your
children, before your neighbors and this people, that you can say:
"Follow me, as I follow Christ." When we do this, all is right, and our
consciences are clear! 15:229.
I exhort you, masters, fathers, and husbands, to be affectionate and
kind to those you preside over. And let them be obedient, let the
wife be subject to her husband, and the children to their parents.
Mothers, let your minds be sanctified before the Lord, for this is
the commencement, the true foundation of a proper education in your
children, the beginning point to form a disposition in your offspring,
that will bring honor, glory, comfort, and satisfaction to you all your
life time. 1:69.
Let the husband and father learn to bend his will to the {307} will
of his God, and then instruct his wives and children in this lesson
of self-government by his example as well as by precept, and his
neighbors also, showing them how to be brave and steadfast, in subduing
the rebellious and sinful disposition. Such a course as this will
eventually subdue that unhallowed influence which works upon the human
heart. 9:256.
It is for the husband to learn how to gather around his family the
comforts of life, how to control his passions and temper, and how to
command the respect, not only of his family but of all his brethren,
sisters, and friends. It is the calling of the wife and mother to know
what to do with everything that is brought into the house, laboring to
make her home desirable to her husband and children, making herself an
Eve in the midst of a little paradise of her own creating, securing her
husband's love and confidence, and tying her offspring to herself, with
a love that is stronger than death, for an everlasting inheritance.
10:28.
Let the husband make an improvement upon his kitchen and pantry
and upon his bedrooms for the benefit of his family, and improve
his gardens, walks, etc., beautifying your habitations and their
surroundings, making pavements and planting shade trees. 10:177.
I have been into houses which have not had the least convenience for
the women, not so much as a bench to set their water pails on, and they
have to set them on the floor, and yet their husbands will sit there
year after year, and never make so much improvement as a bench to set
the pail on. Yet they have the ability, but they will not exercise it.
18:75.
The father should be full of kindness, and endeavor to {308} happify
and cheer the mother, that her heart may be comforted and her
affections unimpaired in her earthly protector, that her love for God
and righteousness may vibrate throughout her whole being, that she
may bear and bring forth offspring impressed and endowed with all the
qualities necessary to a being designed to reign king of kings and lord
of lords. 8:62.
_The Wife_--You cannot read in the Bible that women take the
lead--that the responsibility is upon the women, for it is not so.
9:143.
One thing is very true and we believe it, and that is that a woman is
the glory of the man; but she was not made to be worshiped by him. As
the Scriptures say, Man is not without the woman, neither is woman
without the man in the Lord. Yet woman was not made to be worshiped
anymore than man was. Woman has her influence, and she should use that
in training her children in the way they should go; if she fails to do
this she assumes fearful responsibilities. 14:106.
I have a word to say to my sisters. When I reflect upon the duties
and responsibilities devolving upon our mothers and sisters, and the
influence they wield, I look upon them as the mainspring and soul of
our being here. It is true that man is first. Father Adam was placed
here as king of the earth, to bring it into subjection. But when Mother
Eve came she had a splendid influence over him. A great many have
thought it was not very good; I think it was excellent.
Now, I say the women have great influence. Look at the nations of
the earth. Any nation you like, no matter which, and you enlist the
sympathies of the female portion of it and what is there you cannot
perform? If the government wants soldiers, they are on hand; if means,
it is forthcoming. {309} If you want influence and power, and have the
ladies on your side, they will give it you. 14:102.
Now, a few words directly to my sisters here in the Kingdom of God.
We want your influence and power in helping to build up that Kingdom
and what I wish to say to you is simply this, if you will govern and
control yourselves in all things in accordance with good, sound, common
sense and the principles of truth and righteousness, there is not the
least fear but what father, uncle, grandfather, brothers, and sons will
follow in the wake. 14:102.
You ought to love a woman only so far as she adorns the doctrine you
profess. 3:360.
The mothers are the moving instruments in the hands of Providence to
guide the destinies of nations. Let the mothers of any nation teach
their children not to make war, the children would grow up and never
enter into it. Let the mothers teach their children, "War, war upon
your enemies, yes, war to the hilt!" and they will be filled with this
spirit. Consequently, you see at once what I wish to impress upon your
mind is, that the mothers are the machinery that give zest to the whole
man, and guide the destinies and lives of men upon the earth. 19:72.
It is the right of the mother who labors in the kitchen, with her
little prattling children around, to enjoy the Spirit of Christ, and
to know her duty with regard to those children; but it is not her duty
and privilege to dictate to her husband in his duties and business. If
that mother or wife enjoys the gift and power of the Holy Ghost, she
will never intrude upon the rights of her husband. It is the right and
privilege of the husband to know his duty with regard to his wives and
children, his flocks and his herds, his fields and his possessions;
though I have seen women who, I {310} thought, actually knew more about
the business of life than their husbands themselves did, and were
really more capable of directing a farm, the building of a house, and
the management of flocks and herds, etc., than the men were; but if men
were to live up to their privileges this would not be the case; for it
is their right to, claim the light of truth and that intelligence and
knowledge necessary to enable them to carry on every branch of their
business successfully. 11:135.
Study order and cleanliness in your various occupations. Adorn your
city and neighborhood. Make your homes lovely, and adorn your hearts
with the grace of God. 8:297.
You may say that it is hard work to please a man; yes, and woman too.
But when a man does his duty in providing for a family, there can
reasonably be but little complaint on the part of any sensible woman.
4:314.
Many of the sisters grieve because they are not blessed with offspring.
You will see the time when you will have millions of children around
you. If you are faithful to your covenants, you will be mothers of
nations. 8:208.
It is your right, wives, to ask your husbands to set out beautiful
shade and fruit trees, and to get you some vines and flowers with which
to adorn the outside of your dwellings; and if your husbands have not
time, get them yourselves and plant them out. Some, perhaps, will say,
"O, I have nothing but a log house, and it is not worth that." Yes; it
is worth it. Whitewash and plaster it up, and get vines to run over
the door, so that everybody who passes will say, "What a lovely little
cottage!" This is your privilege and I wish you to exercise yourselves
in your own rights. 14:105. {311}
It is not my general practice to counsel the sisters to disobey their
husbands, but my counsel is--obey your husbands; and I am sanguine and
most emphatic on that subject. But I never counseled a woman to follow
her husband to the Devil. If a man is determined to expose the lives
of his friends, let that man go to the Devil and to destruction alone.
1:77.
A few words to the sisters, you mothers who are trifling with the
ordinances of the house of God, and the blessings that are proffered
to you, I will say that the time will come, if you persist in doing
so, when you will mourn, and will be willing to give worlds, if you
possessed them, for the privilege of living your lives over again.
Some of you are treating with contempt the oracles of the Kingdom of
God upon the earth, and in the commission of this sin you trifle with
your own salvation, as well as the salvation of your children. Repent,
and turn unto God, and teach your children the importance of doing the
same, and of the sacredness of the ordinances and the laws of God.
18:263.
The duty of the mother is to watch over her children and give them
their early education, for impressions received in infancy are lasting.
You know, yourselves, by experience, that the impressions you have
received in the dawn of your mortal existence, bear, to this day,
with the greatest weight upon your mind. The child reposes implicit
confidence in the mother, you behold in him a natural attachment, no
matter what her appearance may be, that makes him think his mother
is the best and handsomest mother in the world. I speak for myself.
Children have all confidence in their mothers; and if mothers would
take proper pains, they can instill into the hearts of their children
what they please. You will, no doubt, recollect reading, in the {312}
Book of Mormon, of two thousand young men, who were brought up to
believe that, if they put their whole trust in God, and served him, no
power would overcome them. You also recollect reading of them going out
to fight, and so bold were they, and so mighty their faith, that it was
impossible for their enemies to slay them. This power and faith they
obtained through the teachings of their mothers.
These duties and responsibilities devolve upon mothers far more than
upon fathers, for you know the latter are often in the field or canyon,
and are frequently away from home, sometimes for several days together,
attending to labors which compel them to be absent from home. But the
mother is at home with the children continually; and if they are taught
lessons of usefulness it depends upon her. 14:105.
Mothers, remember that when your husbands are engaged in the service
of the Church, and are all the time occupied in the duties of the
Priesthood, so that they have not time to instruct their children,
the duty devolves upon you. Then bring your children up in the ways
of truth, and be to them both a father and mother, until they are old
enough to perform duties by the side, and under the immediate eye, of
their father. I like to see mothers bring their children to meeting, as
soon as they can be brought without injuring them, and when they can
tell what they want, and call for water when they are faint. As soon
as they are old enough to receive instruction, bring them here to be
taught. 2:21.
Were I a woman possessed of great powers of mind, filled with wisdom,
and, upon the whole, a magnanimous woman, and had been privileged with
my choice, and had married a man, and found myself deceived, he not
answering {313} my expectations, and I being sorry that I had made such
a choice, let me show my wisdom by not complaining about it. A woman's
wisdom and judgment has failed her once in the choice of a husband,
and it may again, if she is not very careful. By seeking to cast off
her husband--by withdrawing her confidence and good will from him, she
casts a dark shade upon his path, when, by pursuing a proper course of
love, obedience, and encouragement, he might attain to that perfection
she had anticipated in him. 7:280.
Is it not a blessing to you, mothers, to raise up Prophets and
Apostles--men filled with the glory of God, to go forth and extend the
work of our God? 8:92.
I can say to the sisters, if you have superior talents, arise and let
your light shine. Prove to your neighbors and the community that you
are capable of teaching those sisters whom you deem to be ignorant or
neglectful. 7:162.
_Children_--I wish to say to the children, obey your parents, be
good, never suffer yourselves to do that which will mortify you through
life, and that will cause you to look back with regret. While you are
pure and spotless preserve yourselves in the integrity of your souls.
Although you are young you know good from evil, and live so that you
can look back on your lives and thank the Lord that he has preserved
you, or has enabled you to preserve yourselves, so that you have no
misconduct to regret or mourn over. Take this course and you will
secure to yourselves an honorable name on earth among the good and
the pure; you will maintain your integrity before heaven, and prove
yourselves worthy of a high state of glory when you get through with
this world. 14:200.
You may say to yourselves, "If I can do as well as my {314} parents, I
think I shall do well, and be as good as I want to be, and I should not
strive to excel them." But if you do your duty you will far excel them
in everything that is good--in holiness, in physical and intellectual
strength, for this is your privilege, and it becomes your duty. 2:18.
Our young folks who have arrived at years of maturity should think
and act for themselves. They are citizens of the earth; they have
a share here, and have a part to bear--a character to form and
frame and present to the world, or they will sink into oblivion and
forgetfulness. 13:263.
The spirits which are reserved have to be born into the world, and the
Lord will prepare some way for them to have tabernacles. 3:264.
I can pick out scores of men in this congregation who have driven their
children from them by using the wooden rod. Where there is severity
there is no affection or filial feeling in the hearts of either party;
the children would rather be away from father than be with him. 9:196.
Those whom I once knew as little boys are growing out of my
recollection; these young men know nothing but "Mormonism." They are
in some instances called wild and ungovernable; but these wild boys,
properly guided and directed, will make the greatest men who have ever
lived upon this earth; and I want them to throw aside their diffidence
and come up and shake hands with me, and say, "How do you do, Brother
Brigham?" for I feel warmly towards them. 11:118.
_Family Life_--If every person, who professes to be a Latter-day
Saint, was actually a Saint, our home would be a paradise, there would
be nothing heard, nothing felt, nothing realized, but praise to the
name of our God, doing our duty, and keeping his commandments. 3:254.
{315}
To gain the spiritual ascendancy over ourselves, and the
influences with which we are surrounded, through a rigid course of
self-discipline, is our first consideration, it is our first labor,
before we can pave the way for our children to grow up without sin unto
salvation. 2:131.
In my experience I have learned that the greatest difficulty that
exists in the little bickerings and strifes of man with man, woman with
woman, children with children, parents with children, brothers with
sisters, and sisters with brothers, arises from the want of rightly
understanding each other. 4:368.
In our daily pursuits in life, of whatever nature and kind, Latter-day
Saints, and especially those who hold important positions in the
Kingdom of God, should maintain a uniform and even temper, both
when at home and when abroad. They should not suffer reverses and
unpleasant circumstances to sour their natures and render them fretful
and unsocial at home, speaking words full of bitterness and biting
acrimony to their wives and children, creating gloom and sorrow in
their habitations, making themselves feared rather than loved by their
families. Anger should never be permitted to rise in our bosoms, and
words suggested by angry feelings should never be permitted to pass our
lips. "A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up
anger." "Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous;" but "the discretion
of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a
transgression." 11:136.
Fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters are no more to me than are any
other persons, unless they embrace this work. Here are my fathers,
my mothers, my sisters, and my brethren in the Kingdom, and I have
none outside of it, neither in any part of the earth, nor in all the
eternity of {316} the Gods. In this Kingdom are my acquaintances,
relatives, and friends,--my soul, my affections, my all. 8:199.
If a child or relative of mine forsakes the Gospel, the holy
Priesthood, his God, and the Kingdom of God, farewell to that child or
relative, whether near or distant. I own none as relatives, only those
who love and serve our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. All that belong
to my Father's house I own. I love them, I delight in their society,
no matter whether they are poor or rich, learned or unlearned, if they
observe the laws of the Kingdom of God and live according to it. 9:155.
If children have sinned against their parents, or husbands against
their wives, or wives against their husbands, let them confess their
faults one to another and forgive each other, and there let the
confession stop; and then let them ask pardon from their God. Confess
your sins to whoever you have sinned against, and let it stop there.
If you have committed a sin against the community, confess to them.
If you have sinned in your family, confess there. Confess your sins,
iniquities, and follies, where that confession belongs, and learn to
classify your actions. 4:78.
Let us live so that the spirit of our religion will live within us,
then we have peace, joy, happiness and contentment, which makes such
pleasant fathers, pleasant mothers, pleasant children, pleasant
households, neighbors, communities and cities. That is worth living
for, and I do think that the Latter-day Saints ought to strive for
this. 15:135.
I will illustrate the method of establishing confidence in each other
by taking, for example, the child of four or five years of age. The
mother allows that child to own a small chest in which to keep his
little trinkets, such as little bosom pins, ribbons, doll clothes,
etc. This is considered {317} by all the family the child's chest. Now let
none go into that chest and take anything from it, without the consent
of the child. This is a very small matter, some may think; but begin
at as small a point as this to create confidence, and let it grow up
from little to much. Wives, let your husband's stores alone, if they
have not committed them to your charge. Husbands, commit that to your
wives that belongs to them, and never search their boxes without their
consent. I can boast of this. I have lived in the marriage relation
nearly thirty years, and I never was the man to open my wife's chest,
without her consent, except once, and that was to get out a likeness
that I wanted on the instant, and she was not at home to get it for
me. That was the first time I ever opened a trunk in my life, that
belonged to my wife, or to my child. The child's little chest, with its
contents, is as sacred to him, as mine is to me. If this principle were
strictly carried out by every man, woman, and child among the Saints,
it would make them a blessed people indeed. 1:315.
I wish the daughters of Israel to far exceed their mothers in wisdom.
And I wish these young men and boys to far exceed their fathers. I wish
my sons to far exceed me in goodness and virtue. 2:17.
I say to our young men, be faithful, for you do not know what is before
you, and abstain from bad company and bad habits. Let me say to the
boys sixteen years old and even younger, make up your minds to mark
out the path of rectitude for yourselves, and when evil is presented,
let it pass by unnoticed by you, and preserve yourselves in truth,
in righteousness, virtue and holiness before the Lord. You were born
in the Kingdom of God; it is to be built up; the earth has to be
renovated, and the people sanctified, {318} after they are gathered
from the nations, and it requires considerable skill and ability to do
this; let our young men prepare themselves to aid and do their part in
this great work. I want you to remember this teaching with regard to
our youth. 11.118.
_Importance of Early Training_--We see the infant in its mother's
arms. What is this infant here for? What is the design in the creation
of this little infant child? It lies here in its mothers' arms; it
would not resist, in the least, if it were dropped into a caldron of
boiling oil; if it were thrown into fire it would not know it until
it felt the flames; it might be laid down here, and the wolf might
come and lick its face, and it would not know but that its mother was
soothing it. You see this foundation, the starting point, the germ of
intelligence embodied in this infant, calculated to grow and expand
into manhood, then to the capacity of an angel, and so onward to
eternal exaltation. But here is the foundation. Sent to school, the
child learns to read, and continues to improve as long as it lives. Is
this the end of the knowledge of man? No. It is only the beginning. It
is the first stage of all the intelligence that the philosopher in his
reflections, taking the starry world before him, and looking into the
immensity of the creations of God, can imagine. Here is the first place
where we learn, this is the foot of the hill. 19:46.
When children are old enough to labor in the field, then the father
will take them in charge. If children are not taught by their mothers,
in the days of their youth, to revere and follow the counsels of their
fathers, it will be hard indeed for the father ever to control them.
1:68.
Parents, have you ever noticed that your children have exercised faith
for you when you have been sick? The little {319} daughter, seeing
you sick, will lift her heart with a pure, angelic-like prayer to
heaven; and disease is rebuked when that kind of faith is exercised.
God bless the children! I pray that they may live and be reared up
in righteousness, that God may have a people that will spread and
establish one universal reign of peace, and possess the powers of the
world to come. 8:117.
_Influence of the Mother_--Let mothers commence to teach their
children while in their laps, there do you teach them to love the Lord,
and keep his commandments. Teach them to keep your commandments, and
you will teach them to keep the commandments of your husbands. It is
not the prerogative of a child to dictate to his mother, or his father;
and it is not the prerogative of the father to rise up and dictate to
his God whom he serves. 1:68.
If you, mothers, will live your religion, then in the love and fear of
God teach your children constantly and thoroughly in the way of life
and salvation, training them up in the way they should go, when they
are old they will not depart from it. I promise you this, it is as true
as the shining sun, it is an eternal truth. In this duty we fail; we
do not bring up our children in the way they should go, or there would
be no turning away, wandering here and there from the society of the
Saints. We let our children do too much as they have a mind to; if they
want this or that their wishes must be gratified. 19:92.
If a mother wishes to control her child, in the first place let her
learn to control herself, then she may be successful in bringing the
child into perfect subjection to her will. 14:277.
The first thing that is taught by the mother to the child {320} should
be true; we should never allow ourselves to teach our children one
thing and practice another. 13:244.
I have often thought and said, "How necessary it is for mothers,
who are the first teachers of their children and who make the first
impressions on their young minds, to be strict." How careful they
should be never to impress a false idea on the mind of a child! They
should never teach them anything unless they know it is correct in
every respect. They should never say a word, especially in the hearing
of a child that is improper. How natural it is for women to talk baby
talk to their children; and it seems just as natural for the men to do
so. It is just as natural for me as to draw my breath to talk nonsense
to a child on my lap, and yet I have been trying to break myself of it
ever since I began to have a family. 14:105.
_Teach Children the Gospel_--If we do not take the pains to train
our children, to teach and instruct them concerning these revealed
truths, the condemnation will be upon us, as parents, or at least in a
measure. 19:92.
Teach your children from their youth, never to set their hearts
immoderately upon an object of this world. 3:357.
Bring up your children in the love and fear of the Lord; study their
dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly,
never allowing yourself to correct them in the heat of passion; teach
them to love you rather than to fear you, and let it be your constant
care that the children that God has so kindly given you are taught
in their early youth the importance of the oracles of God, and the
beauty of the principles of our holy religion, that when they grow
to the years of man and womanhood they may always cherish a tender
regard for them and never forsake the truth. I do not wish you to lay
the stress and importance {321} upon outward ceremonies that many do.
Parents, teach your children by precept and example, the importance of
addressing the Throne of grace; teach them how to live, how to draw
from the elements the necessaries of life, and teach them the laws of
life that they may know how to preserve themselves in health and be
able to minister to others. And when instructing them in the principles
of the Gospel, teach them that they are true, truth sent down from
heaven for our salvation, and that the Gospel incorporates every truth
whether in heaven, in earth, or in hell; and teach them, too, that we
hold the keys of eternal life, and that they must obey and observe the
ordinances and laws pertaining to this holy Priesthood, which God has
revealed and restored for the exaltation of the children of men. 19:221.
If the law of Christ becomes the tradition of this people, the children
will be brought up according to the law of the celestial kingdom, else
they are not brought up in the way they should go. 3:327.
Latter-day Saints, have your children come to meeting. Sisters, let
your little girls go to Sunday school or come to meeting! Brethren,
let your children go to Sunday school, or to meeting, and advise your
neighbors to do the same. 14:118.
In the morning, it is true, there are many in the Sunday school, and
that we recommend; but in the afterpart of the day, where are these
school children? Are they playing in the streets, or are they visiting?
In going to Sunday school they have done their duty so far; but they
ought to be here. In their youth they ought to learn the principles and
doctrines of their faith, the arguments for truth, and the advantages
of truth. 15:83.
Teach your children honesty and uprightness, and teach {322} them also
never to injure others. As I say to my Sisters sometimes, "Look here,
my dear sister, if your child quarrels with your neighbor's child, do
not chasten your neighbor's child. Go and make peace, be a peace-maker.
Teach your child never to do a wrong; and if your neighbor's child has
injured you or yours, or taken anything from you, never mind. You stop
until you find out. Perhaps the child has meant no wrong. You should
learn the facts in the case, and go with a meek, humble, quiet spirit,
and peace will result." 13:252.
_Parents Should Teach by Example:_ If parents will continually
set before their children examples worthy of their imitation and the
approval of our Father in Heaven, they will turn the current, and the
tide of feelings of their children, and they, eventually, will desire
righteousness more than evil. 14:195.
Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom,
take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do
a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or
one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they
should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care
not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an
everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from
their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from
whence they sprang. 11:215.
We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing
to see our children do. We should set them an example that we wish
them to imitate. Do we realize this? How often we see parents demand
obedience, good behavior, kind words, pleasant looks, a sweet voice
{323} and a bright eye from a child or children when they themselves
are full of bitterness and scolding! How inconsistent and unreasonable
this is! 14:192.
Parents should never drive their children, but lead them along, giving
them knowledge as their minds are prepared to receive it. Chastening
may be necessary betimes, but parents should govern their children by
faith rather than by the rod, leading them kindly by good example into
all truth and holiness. 12:174.
Our children will have the love of the truth, if we but live our
religion. Parents should take that course that their children can say,
"I never knew my father to deceive or take advantage of a neighbor; I
never knew my father to take to himself that which did not belong to
him, never, never! No, but he said, 'Son, or daughter, be honest, true,
virtuous, kind, industrious, prudent and full of good works.'" Such
teachings from parents to their children will abide with them forever,
unless they sin against the Holy Ghost, and some few, perhaps, will do
this. 14:195.
_Guides for Child Training_--We can guide, direct, and prune a
tender sprout, and it inclines to our direction, if it is wisely and
skilfully applied. So, if we surround a child with healthy and salutary
influences, give him suitable instructions and store his mind with
truthful traditions, may be that will direct his feet in the way of
life. 9:248.
A child loves the smiles of its mother, but hates her frowns. I tell
the mothers not to allow the children to indulge in evils, but at the
same time to treat them with mildness. If a child is required to step
in a certain direction, and it does not seem willing to do so, gently
put it in the desired way, and say, There, my little dear, you must
step when I speak to you. Children need directing and {324} teaching
what is right in a kind, affectionate manner. 8:74.
You cannot break down the indomitable will of the human family. I have
known children to be so abused and whipped as to render them almost or
entirely worthless, and still the indomitable will remained. 6:332.
Now understand it--when parents whip their children for reading novels,
and never let them go to the theater, or to any place of recreation and
amusement, but bind them to the moral law, until duty becomes loathsome
to them; when they are freed by age from the rigorous training of their
parents, they are more fit for companions to devils, than to be the
children of such religious parents. 2:94.
It never hurts my feelings to see young exuberant life and animation
manifest themselves. Do not be discouraged about the follies of the
young. 7:336.
You see, hear and witness a good deal of contention among
children--some of you do, if not all--and I will give you a few words
with regard to your future lives, that you may have children that are
not contentious, not quarrelsome. Always be good-natured yourselves,
is the first step. Never allow yourselves to become out of temper and
get fretful. Why, mother says, "this is a very mischievous little boy
or little girl." What do you see? That amount of vitality in those
little children that they cannot be still. If they cannot do anything
else they will tip over the chairs, cut up and pull away at anything
to raise a row. They are so full of life that they cannot contain
themselves; and they are something like ourselves--boys. They have so
much vitality in them that their bones fairly ache with strength. They
have such an amount of vitality--life, strength and activity, that they
must dispose of them; and the young ones will contend with each other.
Do not be out of temper {325} yourselves. Always sympathize with them
and soothe them. Be mild and pleasant. 19:69.
I believe in indulging children, in a reasonable way. If the little
girls want dolls, shall they have them? Yes. But must they be taken to
the dressmaker's to be dressed? No. Let the girls learn to cut and sew
the clothing for their dolls, and in a few years they will know how to
make a dress for themselves and others. Let the little boys have tools,
and let them make their sleds, little wagons, etc., and when they grow
up, they are acquainted with the use of tools and can build a carriage,
a house, or anything else. 9:173.
Be careful of the clothing, you have. Do not let your children's
clothing lie underfoot when you undress them at night, but teach
your boys and girls, when they come into the house, to find a place
for their hats, cloaks, and bonnets, that, when they want them, they
can put their hands upon them in a moment. When they take off their
boots and shoes, let them be deposited where they can be found in the
dark, that, if the children are obliged to get up at night, perhaps
in case of fire, they can find their clothing, and not be under the
necessity of being turned out naked. If a person can put his hand on
his clothing, he can dress in the dark. 9:172-3.
What did you promise your little girl if she would do so and so? Did
you promise her a present for well doing? "Yes." Have you recollected
it? "No, it has gone from my mind," says the mother. If she does ill
have you promised her a chastisement? "Yes." Did you keep your word?
You have not, and the child forms the conclusion in its own mind
directly that the mother tells that which is not true--she says she
will do this or that, and she does not do it. It {326} is an easy
lesson for mothers to learn to pass their time with their children and
never give them a false impression. Think before you speak; promise
your children nothing. If you wish to make them presents, do so; if you
promise a chastisement, keep your word, but be cautious! 13:244.
Mothers, will you be missionaries? We will appoint you a mission to
teach your children their duty, and instead of ruffles and fine dresses
to adorn the body, teach them that which will adorn their minds. Let
what you have to clothe them with be neat and clean and nice. Teach
them cleanness and purity of body and the principles of salvation, and
they will delight to come to these meetings. 14:220.
I delight to see the mother teach her daughters to be housekeepers, to
be particular, clean, and neat; to sew, spin, and weave; to make butter
and cheese; and I have no objection to their learning to cultivate
flowers, herbs, and useful shrubs in the gardens. It is good for their
health to rise early in the morning and work in the soil an hour or
two before breakfast, this practice is especially beneficial to those
who have weak lungs. And while you delight in raising flowers, etc.,
do not neglect to learn how to take care of the cream, and how to make
of it good wholesome butter, and of the milk good healthy nutritious
cheese; neither forget your sewing, spinning, and weaving; and I would
not have them neglect to learn music and would encourage them to read
history and the Scriptures, to take up a newspaper, geography, and
other publications, and make themselves acquainted with the manners and
customs of distant kingdoms and nations, with their laws, religion,
geographical location on the face of the world, their climate, natural
productions, the extent of their commerce, and the {327} nature of
their political organization; in fine, let our boys and girls be
thoroughly instructed in every useful branch of physical and mental
education. Let this education begin early. Teach little children the
principles of order; the little girl to put the broom in its right
place, to arrange the stove furniture in the neatest possible way, and
everything in its own place. Teach them to lay away their clothing
neatly, and where it can be found; and when they tear their frocks and
aprons teach them how to mend the rent so neatly that the place cannot
be seen at a short distance; and instead of asking your husbands to
buy them ribbons and frills, teach them to make them of the material
we can produce. Teach the little boys to lay away the garden hoe, the
spade, etc., where they will not be destroyed by rust; and let them
have access to tools that they may learn their use, and develop their
mechanical skill while young; and see that they gather up the tools
when they have done with them, and deposit them in the proper place.
Let both males and females encourage within them mechanical ingenuity,
and seek constantly to understand the world they are in, and what use
to make of their existence. 9:188-189.
I would like to see the time when our sisters will take more pains
to beautify their children. When your children arise in the morning,
instead of sending them out of doors to wash in cold, hard water, with
a little soft soap, and wiping them as though you would tear the skin
off them, creating roughness and darkness of skin, take a piece of soft
flannel, and wipe the faces of your children smooth and nice, dry them
with a soft cloth; and instead of giving them pork for their breakfast,
give them good wholesome bread and sweet milk, baked potatoes and also
buttermilk if they like it, and a little fruit, and I would have no
objections {328} to their eating a little rice. Rice is an excellent
food for children, and I wish some of the brethren would cultivate it
in these valleys. Upland rice will flourish in this country. Train up
your children to be beautiful and fair, instead of neglecting them
until they are sunburned and become like the natives of our mountains.
12:201.
_Need of Parent Training_--You should go to work to study and see
what you can do for the recovery of your children. If a child is taken
sick with fever, give it something to stay that fever or relieve that
stomach and bowels, so that mortification may not set in. Treat the
child with prudence and care, with faith and patience, and be careful
in not overcharging it with medicine. If you take too much medicine
into the system, it is worse than too much food. But you will always
find that an ounce of preventive is worth a pound of cure. Study and
learn something for yourselves. It is the privilege of a mother to have
faith and to administer to her child; this she can do herself, as well
as sending for the Elders to have the benefit of their faith. 13:155. {329}