SOCIAL LIFE.
Mr. and Mrs. Lupex had eaten a sweetbread together in much connubial
bliss on that day which had seen Cradell returning to Mrs. Roper's
hospitable board. They had together eaten a sweetbread, with
some other delicacies of the season, in the neighbourhood of the
theatre, and had washed down all unkindness with bitter beer and
brandy-and-water. But of this reconciliation Cradell had not heard;
and when he saw them come together into the drawing-room, a few
minutes after the question he had addressed to Miss Spruce, he was
certainly surprised.
Lupex was not an ill-natured man, nor one naturally savage by
disposition. He was a man fond of sweetbread and little dinners, and
one to whom hot brandy-and-water was too dear. Had the wife of his
bosom been a good helpmate to him, he might have gone through the
world, if not respectably, at any rate without open disgrace. But
she was a woman who left a man no solace except that to be found in
brandy-and-water. For eight years they had been man and wife; and
sometimes--I grieve to say it--he had been driven almost to hope
that she would commit a married woman's last sin, and leave him. In
his misery, any mode of escape would have been welcome to him. Had
his energy been sufficient he would have taken his scene-painting
capabilities off to Australia,--or to the farthest shifting of
scenes known on the world's stage. But he was an easy, listless,
self-indulgent man; and at any moment, let his misery be as keen
as might be, a little dinner, a few soft words, and a glass of
brandy-and-water would bring him round. The second glass would make
him the fondest husband living; but the third would restore to him
the memory of all his wrongs, and give him courage against his wife
or all the world,--even to the detriment of the furniture around him,
should a stray poker chance to meet his hand. All these peculiarities
of his character were not, however, known to Cradell; and when our
friend saw him enter the drawing-room with his wife on his arm, he
was astonished.
"Mr. Cradell, your hand," said Lupex, who had advanced as far as the
second glass of brandy-and-water, but had not been allowed to go
beyond it. "There has been a misunderstanding between us; let it be
forgotten."
[ILLUSTRATION: "Mr. Cradell, your hand," said Lupex.]
"Mr. Cradell, if I know him," said the lady, "is too much the
gentleman to bear any anger when a gentleman has offered him his
hand."
"Oh, I'm sure," said Cradell, "I'm quite--indeed, I'm delighted to
find there's nothing wrong after all." And then he shook hands with
both of them; whereupon Miss Spruce got up, curtseyed low, and also
shook hands with the husband and wife.
"You're not a married man, Mr. Cradell," said Lupex, "and, therefore,
you cannot understand the workings of a husband's heart. There have
been moments when my regard for that woman has been too much for me."
"Now, Lupex, don't," said she, playfully tapping him with an old
parasol which she still held.
"And I do not hesitate to say that my regard for her was too much for
me on that night when I sent for you to the dining-room."
"I'm glad it's all put right now," said Cradell.
"Very glad, indeed," said Miss Spruce.
"And, therefore, we need not say any more about it," said Mrs. Lupex.
"One word," said Lupex, waving his hand. "Mr. Cradell, I greatly
rejoice that you did not obey my summons on that night. Had you done
so,--I confess it now,--had you done so, blood would have been the
consequence. I was mistaken. I acknowledge my mistake;--but blood
would have been the consequence."
"Dear, dear, dear," said Miss Spruce.
"Miss Spruce," continued Lupex, "there are moments when the heart
becomes too strong for a man."
"I dare say," said Miss Spruce.
"Now, Lupex, that will do," said his wife.
"Yes; that will do. But I think it right to tell Mr. Cradell that I
am glad he did not come to me. Your friend, Mr. Cradell, did me the
honour of calling on me at the theatre yesterday, at half-past four;
but I was in the slings then, and could not very well come down
to him. I shall be happy to see you both any day at five, and to
bury all unkindness with a chop and glass at the Pot and Poker, in
Bow-street."
"I'm sure you're very kind," said Cradell.
"And Mrs. Lupex will join us. There's a delightful little snuggery
upstairs at the Pot and Poker; and if Miss Spruce will condescend
to--"
"Oh, I'm an old woman, sir."
"No--no--no," said Lupex, "I deny that. Come, Cradell, what do you
say?--just a snug little dinner for four, you know."
It was, no doubt, pleasant to see Mr. Lupex in his present
mood,--much pleasanter than in that other mood of which blood
would have been the consequence; but pleasant as he now was, it
was, nevertheless, apparent that he was not quite sober. Cradell,
therefore, did not settle the day for the little dinner; but merely
remarked that he should be very happy at some future day.
"And now, Lupex, suppose you get off to bed," said his wife. "You've
had a very trying day, you know."
"And you, ducky?"
"I shall come presently. Now don't be making a fool of yourself, but
get yourself off. Come--" and she stood close up against the open
door, waiting for him to pass.
"I rather think I shall remain where I am, and have a glass of
something hot," said he.
"Lupex, do you want to aggravate me again?" said the lady, and
she looked at him with a glance of her eye which he thoroughly
understood. He was not in a humour for fighting, nor was he at
present desirous of blood; so he resolved to go. But as he went he
prepared himself for new battles. "I shall do something desperate,
I am sure; I know I shall," he said, as he pulled off his boots.
"Oh, Mr. Cradell," said Mrs. Lupex as soon as she had closed the
door behind her retreating husband, "how am I ever to look you in
the face again after the events of these last memorable days?" And
then she seated herself on the sofa, and hid her face in a cambric
handkerchief.
"As for that," said Cradell, "what does it signify,--among friends
like us, you know?"
"But that it should be known at your office,--as of course it is,
because of the gentleman that went down to him at the theatre!--I
don't think I shall ever survive it."
"You see I was obliged to send somebody, Mrs. Lupex."
"I'm not finding fault, Mr. Cradell. I know very well that in my
melancholy position I have no right to find fault, and I don't
pretend to understand gentlemen's feelings towards each other. But
to have had my name mentioned up with yours in that way is-- Oh! Mr.
Cradell, I don't know how I'm ever to look you in the face again."
And again she buried hers in her pocket-handkerchief.
"Handsome is as handsome does," said Miss Spruce; and there was that
in her tone of voice which seemed to convey much hidden meaning.
"Exactly so, Miss Spruce," said Mrs. Lupex; "and that's my only
comfort at the present moment. Mr. Cradell is a gentleman who would
scorn to take advantage--I'm quite sure of that." And then she did
contrive to look at him over the edge of the hand which held the
handkerchief.
"That I wouldn't, I'm sure," said Cradell. "That is to say--" And
then he paused. He did not wish to get into a scrape about Mrs.
Lupex. He was by no means anxious to encounter her husband in one of
his fits of jealousy. But he did like the idea of being talked of as
the admirer of a married woman, and he did like the brightness of
the lady's eyes. When the unfortunate moth in his semi-blindness
whisks himself and his wings within the flame of the candle, and
finds himself mutilated and tortured, he even then will not take
the lesson, but returns again and again till he is destroyed. Such
a moth was poor Cradell. There was no warmth to be got by him
from that flame. There was no beauty in the light,--not even the
false brilliance of unhallowed love. Injury might come to him,--a
pernicious clipping of the wings, which might destroy all power of
future flight; injury, and not improbably destruction, if he should
persevere. But one may say that no single hour of happiness could
accrue to him from his intimacy with Mrs. Lupex. He felt for her no
love. He was afraid of her, and, in many respects, disliked her.
But to him, in his moth-like weakness, ignorance, and blindness, it
seemed to be a great thing that he should be allowed to fly near the
candle. Oh! my friends, if you will but think of it, how many of you
have been moths, and are now going about ungracefully with wings more
or less burnt off, and with bodies sadly scorched!
But before Mr. Cradell could make up his mind whether or no he would
take advantage of the present opportunity for another dip into
the flame of the candle,--in regard to which proceeding, however,
he could not but feel that the presence of Miss Spruce was
objectionable,--the door of the room was opened, and Amelia Roper
joined the party.
"Oh, indeed; Mrs. Lupex," she said. "And Mr. Cradell!"
"And Miss Spruce, my dear," said Mrs. Lupex, pointing to the ancient
lady.
"I'm only an old woman," said Miss Spruce.
"Oh, yes; I see Miss Spruce," said Amelia. "I was not hinting at
anything, I can assure you."
"I should think not, my dear," said Mrs. Lupex.
"Only I didn't know that you two were quite-- That is, when last I
heard about it, I fancied-- But if the quarrel's made up, there's
nobody more rejoiced than I am."
"The quarrel is made up," said Cradell.
"If Mr. Lupex is satisfied, I'm sure I am," said Amelia.
"Mr. Lupex is satisfied," said Mrs. Lupex; "and let me tell you, my
dear, seeing that you are expecting to get married yourself--"
"Mrs. Lupex, I'm not expecting to get married,--not particularly, by
any means."
"Oh, I thought you were. And let me tell you, that when you've got
a husband of your own, you won't find it so easy to keep everything
straight. That's the worst of these lodgings; if there is any little
thing, everybody knows it. Don't they, Miss Spruce?"
"Lodgings is so much more comfortable than housekeeping," said Miss
Spruce, who lived rather in fear of her relatives, the Ropers.
"Everybody knows it; does he?" said Amelia. "Why, if a gentleman will
come home at night tipsy and threaten to murder another gentleman in
the same house; and if a lady--" And then Amelia paused, for she knew
that the line-of-battle ship which she was preparing to encounter had
within her much power of fighting.
"Well, miss," said Mrs. Lupex, getting on her feet, "and what of the
lady?"
Now we may say that the battle had begun, and that the two ships were
pledged by the general laws of courage and naval warfare to maintain
the contest till one of them should be absolutely disabled, if not
blown up or sunk. And at this moment it might be difficult for a
bystander to say with which of the combatants rested the better
chance of permanent success. Mrs. Lupex had doubtless on her side
more matured power, a habit of fighting which had given her infinite
skill, a courage which deadened her to the feeling of all wounds
while the heat of the battle should last, and a recklessness which
made her almost indifferent whether she sank or swam. But then Amelia
carried the greater guns, and was able to pour in heavier metal than
her enemy could use; and she, too, swam in her own waters. Should
they absolutely come to grappling and boarding, Amelia would no doubt
have the best of it; but Mrs. Lupex would probably be too crafty to
permit such a proceeding as that. She was, however, ready for the
occasion, and greedy for the fight.
"And what of the lady?" said she, in a tone of voice that admitted of
no pacific rejoinder.
"A lady, if she is a lady," said Amelia, "will know how to behave
herself."
"And you're going to teach me, are you, Miss Roper? I'm sure I'm ever
so much obliged to you. It's Manchester manners, I suppose, that you
prefer?"
"I prefer honest manners, Mrs. Lupex, and decent manners, and manners
that won't shock a whole house full of people; and I don't care
whether they come from Manchester or London."
"Milliner's manners, I suppose?"
"I don't care whether they are milliner's manners or theatrical, Mrs.
Lupex, as long as they're not downright bad manners--as yours are,
Mrs. Lupex. And now you've got it. What are you going on for in
this way with that young man, till you'll drive your husband into a
madhouse with drink and jealousy?"
"Miss Roper! Miss Roper!" said Cradell; "now really--"
"Don't mind her, Mr. Cradell," said Mrs. Lupex; "she's not worthy
for you to speak to. And as to that poor fellow Eames, if you've any
friendship for him, you'll let him know what she is. My dear, how's
Mr. Juniper, of Grogram's house, at Salford? I know all about you,
and so shall John Eames, too--poor unfortunate fool of a fellow!
Telling me of drink and jealousy, indeed!"
"Yes, telling you! And now you've, mentioned Mr. Juniper's name, Mr.
Eames, and Mr. Cradell too, may know the whole of it. There's been
nothing about Mr. Juniper that I'm ashamed of."
"It would be difficult to make you ashamed of anything, I believe."
"But let me tell you this, Mrs. Lupex, you're not going to destroy
the respectability of this house by your goings on."
"It was a bad day for me when I let Lupex bring me into it."
"Then pay your bill, and walk out of it," said Amelia, waving her
hand towards the door. "I'll undertake to say there shan't be any
notice required. Only you pay mother what you owe, and you're free to
go at once."
"I shall go just when I please, and not one hour before. Who are you,
you gipsy, to speak to me in this way?"
"And as for going, go you shall, if we have to call in the police to
make you."
Amelia, as at this period of the fight she stood fronting her foe
with her arms akimbo, certainly seemed to have the best of the
battle. But the bitterness of Mrs. Lupex's tongue had hardly yet
produced its greatest results. I am inclined to think that the
married lady would have silenced her who was single, had the
fight been allowed to rage,--always presuming that no resort to
grappling-irons took place. But at this moment Mrs. Roper entered the
room, accompanied by her son, and both the combatants for a moment
retreated.
"Amelia, what's all this?" said Mrs. Roper, trying to assume a look
of agonized amazement.
"Ask Mrs. Lupex," said Amelia.
"And Mrs. Lupex will answer," said that lady. "Your daughter has come
in here, and attacked me--in such language--before Mr. Cradell,
too--"
"Why doesn't she pay what she owes, and leave the house?" said
Amelia.
"Hold your tongue," said her brother. "What she owes is no affair of
yours."
"But it's an affair of mine, when I'm insulted by such a creature as
that."
"Creature!" said Mrs. Lupex. "I'd like to know which is most like
a creature! But I'll tell you, what it is, Amelia Roper--" Here,
however, her eloquence was stopped, for Amelia had disappeared
through the door, having been pushed out of the room by her brother.
Whereupon Mrs. Lupex, having found a sofa convenient for the service,
betook herself to hysterics. There for the moment we will leave her,
hoping that poor Mrs. Roper was not kept late out of her bed.
"What a deuce of a mess Eames will make of it if he marries that
girl!" Such was Cradell's reflection as he betook himself to his own
room. But of his own part in the night's transactions he was rather
proud than otherwise, feeling that the married lady's regard for him
had been the cause of the battle which had raged. So, likewise, did
Paris derive much gratification from the ten years' siege of Troy.