FIRST INTERVIEW WITH ARTEMUS WARD--[Written about 1870.]

I had never seen him before. He brought letters of introduction from

mutual friends in San Francisco, and by invitation I breakfasted with

him. It was almost religion, there in the silver-mines, to precede such

a meal with whisky cocktails. Artemus, with the true cosmopolitan

instinct, always deferred to the customs of the country he was in, and so

he ordered three of those abominations. Hingston was present. I said I

would rather not drink a whisky cocktail. I said it would go right to my

head, and confuse me so that I would be in a helpless tangle in ten

minutes. I did not want to act like a lunatic before strangers. But

Artemus gently insisted, and I drank the treasonable mixture under

protest, and felt all the time that I was doing a thing I might be sorry

for. In a minute or two I began to imagine that my ideas were clouded.

I waited in great anxiety for the conversation to open, with a sort of

vague hope that my understanding would prove clear, after all, and my

misgivings groundless.

Artemus dropped an unimportant remark or two, and then assumed a look of

superhuman earnestness, and made the following astounding speech. He

said:

"Now there is one thing I ought to ask you about before I forget it. You

have been here in Silver land--here in Nevada--two or three years, and,

of course, your position on the daily press has made it necessary for you

to go down in the mines and examine them carefully in detail, and

therefore you know all about the silver-mining business. Now what I want

to get at is--is, well, the way the deposits of ore are made, you know.

For instance. Now, as I understand it, the vein which contains the

silver is sandwiched in between casings of granite, and runs along the

ground, and sticks up like a curb stone. Well, take a vein forty feet

thick, for example, or eighty, for that matter, or even a hundred--say

you go down on it with a shaft, straight down, you know, or with what you

call 'incline' maybe you go down five hundred feet, or maybe you don't go

down but two hundred--anyway, you go down, and all the time this vein

grows narrower, when the casings come nearer or approach each other, you

may say--that is, when they do approach, which, of course, they do not

always do, particularly in cases where the nature of the formation is

such that they stand apart wider than they otherwise would, and which

geology has failed to account for, although everything in that science

goes to prove that, all things being equal, it would if it did not, or

would not certainly if it did, and then, of course, they are. Do not you

think it is?"

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