STANARD’S DEFIANCE.
The Parson seemed about ready to devour that “fossil.” He seized it
and plumped himself down in a chair with a thud. He paused just long
enough to deposit his “Dana” upon the floor, and to draw up his learned
trousers to the high-water mark, disclosing his pale, sea-green socks.
And then with a preliminary “Ahem!” and several blinks he raised the
precious relic and stared at it.
The two conspirators were watching him gleefully, occasionally
exchanging sly glances. The Parson, all oblivious of this, surveyed one
side of the fossil and then turned it over. He tapped it on the arm of
his chair; he picked at it with his finger nail; he even tasted it,
with scientific public-spiritedness and zeal. And then he cleared his
throat solemnly and looked up.
“Gentlemen,” said he, “er--that is--ladies--this is a most interesting
specimen we have here. I regret that with the brief analysis possible
to me I cannot classify it as I should like. A microscopic examination
would be undoubtedly essential for that. But some things I can say.
This is evidently a fossil bone, a portion of the thigh bone, I should
say, probably of some gigantic animal like the Ichthyosaurus. As you
will notice from the compactness of the structure and the heaviness,
it is much solidified, thus indicating a very remote age, probably the
upper Cretaceous at the very least, or possibly the Silurian. I am not
able to say positively because----”
The Parson stopped and gazed about him with a surprised and rather
injured air. Really the rudeness of some people was amazing! Here were
the two he was talking to actually leaning back in their chairs and
giving vent to peals of laughter, what about he had no idea. This was
really too much!
It was at least five minutes before either Mark or his companion could
manage to stop long enough to explain to the puzzled geologist that he
had been classifying a porcelain jug. And when they did and he realized
it he sat back in his chair and gazed at them in utter consternation.
He never said one word for at least a minute; he simply stared, while
the idea slowly percolated through his mind. Grace Fuller, ever
kind-hearted and considerate, had begun to fear that he was angry, and
then suddenly the Boston scholar leaned back in his chair, opened his
classic mouth, and forth therefrom came a roar of laughter that made
the sentries away over by camp start in alarm.
“Ho, ho, ho!” shouted he. “Ho, ho! ha, ha! he, he! A jug! Yea, by Zeus,
a jug! By the nine immortals, a jug!”
Mark stared at him in undisguised amazement. During all his
acquaintance with that solemn scholar, he had never seen such an
earthquake of a laugh as that. And evidently, too, the Parson was not
used to it, for when he stopped he was so out of breath and red in the
face that he could hardly move.
And that was the first, last, one and only time that Parson Stanard
was ever known to laugh. It took a peculiar sort of a joke to move the
Parson.
It took also quite an amount of sputtering and gasping to restore the
gentleman’s throat and lungs to their ordinary normal condition. That
spasm of hilarity which had plowed its way through him like a mighty
ship through the waves had left little ripples and gurgles of laughter
which bubbled forth occasionally for the next ten minutes at least. It
passed, however, at last, to return no more, and Parson Stanard was
the same, solemn and learned Parson as ever.
“Gentlemen,” said he, “er--that is--ahem--ladies--that was indeed a
most extraordinary blunder for a student of geology to make.”
“It fooled us all,” said Grace, consolingly.
“Ahem!” responded he, with crushing severity. “That was to be expected.
But one who has pursued the science as the study of his life should not
thus be deceived. Gentlemen, I am tired of being fooled, yea, by Zeus!”
“Do you mean,” inquired Mark, “that you want us to stop playing jokes
on you?”
Mark had been a little conscience-stricken during that last prank. He
expected the Parson to answer his question in the affirmative, and he
meant in all seriousness to agree to stop. But the Parson’s answer was
different. His professional pride had been awakened.
“I mean nothing of the kind!” said he. “I mean that I no longer mean to
let you. I mean that a man who has so long resisted and outwitted our
enemy, the yearlings, ought now to be beyond deception. I will no more
be fooled!”
There was quite an exciting adventure destined to grow out of that
scholarly defiance, an adventure that none of those present had the
least suspicion of then.
“Do you mean,” inquired Mark, laughingly, “that you defy the Banded
Seven to fool you again?”
“Yea, by Zeus!” said the Parson, emphatically. “And I mean not
only geologically, but in any other way whatsoever, logically or
illogically.”
Mark chuckled softly to himself at that.
“I’ll try it some day,” he said. “I’ll give you a chance to forget it
meanwhile.”
He said nothing more about it then, and a minute or so later the Parson
arose to go.
“Ahem!” said he. “Gentlemen--er--that is--ladies--I bid you
good-afternoon. I really fear to incur further risk by yielding to the
charms of the siren’s voice. Farewell!”
Mark and the girl sat in silence and watched his ungainly figure stride
away down the path; and suddenly she fell to laughing merrily.
“The Parson’s dignity is insulted,” she said. “He is getting bold and
defiant.”
“And I see room for no end of fun just there,” responded Mark. “I had
an inspiration a few moments ago, watching him. And I have a perfectly
fascinating plot already.”
“Do you mean,” inquired Grace, “that you are going to take his
challenge up so soon?”
“That’s just what I do,” laughed Mark. “I mean to do it this very
night, before he’s expecting it.”
“What is it?”
“I told you a few moments ago, didn’t I, that the Parson was excited
over the possibility of finding a treasure?”
The girl was staring at Mark with a look of interest and curiosity.
That single hint was enough for her quick-witted mind, and her
beautiful face was lit up with excitement in a moment.
“Jeminy!” she cried. “That’s so! Oo! Let me help, won’t you? We’ll fool
the Parson with a treasure!”
During the next half hour those two conspirators, completely oblivious
of everything, just sat and whispered and chuckled. They were off in a
lonely corner with no one to overhear them, and they put their heads
together and concocted schemes by the bushel, getting more and more
excited and hilarious every moment. And then suddenly Mark sprang up
with a cry of delight, said good-by in a hurry and rushed away.
“I must tell the rest of the Seven!” he laughed. “This is too good to
keep! And oh, say, if we can work it! Whoop!”