the strong affection it felt for the hope of my past life, as to curse
him; but, from this day forward I disown him as my son. You know not, my
friend, what I feel, and what I suffer; for he who was the pride of my
declining years has, by this act of unprincipled ambition, set his seal
to the unhappiness of his father. I am told, indeed, that the lady is
very beautiful--and amiable as she is beautiful--and that their passion
for each other amounts to idolatry;--but neither her beauty, nor her
wealth, nor her goodness could justify my son in an act of such cruel
and abandoned perfidy to a creature who seems to be more nearly related
to the angelic nature than the human.”
“You see, my children,” observed Mr. Sinclair, “that the worst, as far
as relates to Osborne, is before us. I have nothing now to add to what I
have already said on the receipt of the letter from Bath. You know
your duty, and with God’s assistance I trust you will act up to it.
At present it might be fatal to our child were she to know what has
happened; nor, indeed, are we qualified to break the matter to her,
without the advice of some medical man, eminent in cases similar to that
which afflicts her.”
These observations were scarcely concluded when Jane entered the room,
and as usual, cast a calm but searching glance around her. She saw that
they had been in tears, and that they tried in vain to force their faces
I into a hurried composure, that seemed strangely at variance with what
they felt.
After a slight pause she sat down, and putting her hand to her temple,
mused for some minutes. They observed that a sorrow more deep and
settled than usual, was expressed on her countenance. Her eyes were
filled, although tears did not come, and the muscles of her lips
quivered excessively; yet she did not speak; and such was the solemnity
of the moment to them, who knew all, that none of them could find voice
sufficiently firm to address her.
“Papa,” said she, at length, “this has been a day of busy thought with
me. I think I see, and I am sure I feel my own situation. The only
danger is, that I may feel it too much. I fear I have felt it--(she
put her hand to her forehead as she spoke)--I fear I have felt it too
deeply already. Pauses--lapses, or perhaps want of memory for a certain
space, occasioned by--by------” she hesitated. “Bear with me, papa,
and mamma; bear with me; for this is a great effort; let me recollect
myself, and do not question me or--speak to me until I------. It is, it
is woeful to see me reduced to this; but nothing is seriously wrong with
me yet--nothing. Let me see; yes, yes, papa, here it is. Let us not be
reduced to the miserable necessity of watching each other, as we have
been. Let me know the worst. You have nearly broken me down by suspense.
Let me know the purport of the letter you received to-day.”
“To-day, love!” exclaimed her mother. “Yes, mamma, to-day. I made John
show it me on his way from the post-office. The superscription was Mr.
Osborne’s hand. Let me, O let me,” she exclaimed, dropping down upon
her knees, “as you value my happiness here and hereafter, let me at
once know the worst--the very worst. Am I not the daughter of a pious
minister of the Gospel, and do you think I shall or can forget the
instructions I received from his lips? Treat me as a rational being, if
you wish me to remain rational. But O, as you love my happiness here,
and my soul’s salvation, do not, papa, do not, mamma, do not, Maria, do
not, Agnes, William,--do not one or all of you keep your unhappy sister
hanging in the agony of suspense! It will kill me!--it will kill me!”
Suppressed sobs there were, which no firmness could restrain. But in a
few moments those precepts of the Christian pastor, which we have before
mentioned, came forth among this sorrowing family, in the same elevated
spirit which dictated them. When Jane had concluded this appeal to her
father, there was a dead, silence in the room, and every eye glanced
from, him to her, full of uncertainty as to what course of conduct he
would pursue. He turned his eyes upwards for a few moments, and said:
“Can truth, my children, under any circumstances, be injurious to----”
“Oh no, no, papa,” exclaimed Jane; “I know--I feel the penalty paid for
even the indirect violation of it.”
“In the name of God, then,” exclaimed the well-meaning man, “we will
rely upon the good sense and religious principle of our dear Jane, and
tell her the whole truth.”
“Henry, dear!” said Mrs. Sinclair in a tone of expostulation.
“Oh papa,” said Agnes, “remember your own words!”
“The truth, my papa, the truth!” said Jane. “You are its accredited
messenger.”
“Jane,” said he, “is your trust strong in the support of the Almighty?”
“I have no other dependence, papa.”
“Then,” said he, “this is the truth: Charles Osborne has been false to
you. He has broken his vows;--he is married to another woman. And
now, my child, may the God of truth, and peace, and mercy, sustain and
console you!”
“And He will, too, my papa!--He will!” she exclaimed, rising up;--“He
will! He will!--I--I know--I think I know something. I violated truth,
and now truth is my punishment. I violated it to my papa, and now my
papa is the medium of that punishment. Well, then, there’s a Providence
proved. But, in the mean time, mamma, what has become of my beauty?
It is gone--it is gone--and now for humility and repentance--now for
sackcloth and ashes. I am now no longer beautiful!--so off, off go the
trappings of vanity!”
She put her hands up to her bosom, and began to tear down her dress with
a violence so powerful, that it took William and Maria’s strength to
prevent her. She became furious. “Let me go,” she exclaimed, “let me go;
I am bound to a curse; but Charles, Charles--don’t you see he will
be poisoned: he will kiss her lips and be poisoned; poisoned lips for
Charles, and I too see it!--and mine here with balm upon them, and peace
and love! My boy’s lost, and I am lost, and the world has destroyed us.”
She wrought with incredible strength, and attempted still, while
speaking, to tear her garments off; put finding herself overpowered, she
at length sat down and passed from this state of violence into a mood
so helplessly calm, that the family, now in an outcry of grief, with the
exception of her father who appeared cool, felt their very hearts shiver
at the vacant serenity of her countenance.
Her mother went over, and, seizing her husband firmly by the arms,
pulled him towards her, and with an ashy face and parched lips,
exclaimed, “There, Charles--all is now over--our child is an idiot!”
“Oh do not blame me,” said the brokenhearted father; “I did it for the
best. Had I thought--had I thought--but I will speak to her, for I think
my voice will reach her heart--you know how she loved me.”
“Jane,” said he, approaching her, “Jane, my dearest life, will you not
speak to your papa?”
She became uneasy again, and, much to their relief, broke silence.
“I am not,” said she, calmly; “it is gone; I was once though--indeed,
indeed I was; and it was said so; I was called the Fawn of--of--but it
seems beauty passes like the flower of the field.”
“Darling, speak to me, to your papa.”
“I believe I am old now; an old woman, I suppose. My hair is gray, and
I am wrinkled; that’s the reason why they scorn me; well I was once both
young and beautiful; but that is past. Charles,” said she, catching
her father’s hand and looking into it, “you are old, too, I believe.
Why--why--why, how is this? Your hair is long and white. Oh, what
a change since I knew you last. White hair! long, white, venerable,
hair--that’s old age--
“Pity old age within whose silver hairs
Honor and reverence evermore do lie.”
“Thank God, dear Henry,” said her mother, “she is not at all events an
idiot. Children,” said she, “I trust you will remember your father’s
advice, and bear this--this----.” But here the heart and strength of
the mother herself were overcome, and she was sinking down when her son
caught her ere she fell, and carried her out in his arms, accompanied by
Maria and Agnes.
It would be difficult for any pen to paint the distraction of her
father, thus placed in a state of divided apprehension between his
daughter and his wife.
“Oh, my child, my child,” he exclaimed, “Perhaps in the midst of this
misery, your mother may be dying! May the God of all consolation support
you and her! What, oh what will become of us!”
“Well, well,” his daughter went on; “life’s a fearful thing that can
work such anges; but why may we not as well pass at once from youth to
old age as from happiness to misery? Here we are both old; ay, and if we
are gray it is less with age than affliction--that’s one comfort--I am
young enough to be beautiful yet; but age, when it comes prematurely on
the youthful, as it often does--thanks to treachery and disappointment,
ay, and thanks to a thousand causes which we all know but don’t wish to
think of; age, I say, when it comes prematurely on the youthful, is
just like a new and unfinished house that is suffered to fall into
ruin--desolation, naked, and fresh, and glaring--without the reverence
and grandeur of antiquity. Yes--yes--yes; but there is another cause;
and that must be whispered only to the uttermost depths of silence--of
silence; for silence is the voice of God. That word--that word! Oh,
how I shudder to think of it! And who will pity me when I acknowledge
it--there is one--one only--who will mourn for my despair and the fate,
foreordained and predestined, of one whom he loved--that is my papa--my
papa only--my papa only; for he knows that I am a _castaway_---A
CAST-AWAY!”
These words were uttered with an energy of manner and a fluency of
utterance which medical men know to be strongly characteristic of
insanity, unless indeed where the malady is silent and moping. The
afflicted old man now discovered that his daughter’s mind had, in
addition to her disappointment, sunk under the frightful and merciless
dogma, which we trust will soon cease to darken and distort the
beneficent character of God. Indeed it might have been evident to him
before that in looking upon herself as a castaway, Jane’s sensitive
spirit was gradually lapsing into the gloomy horrors of predestination.
But this blindness of the father to such a tendency was very natural
in a man to whose eye familiarity with the doctrine had removed its
deformity. The old man looked upon her countenance with an expression
of mute affliction almost verging on despair; for a moment he forgot the
situation of his wife and everything but the consequences of a discovery
so full of terror and dismay.
“Alas, my unhappy child,” he exclaimed, “and is this, too, to be added
to your misery and ours? Now, indeed, is the cup of our affliction full
even to overflowing. O God! who art good and full of mercy,” he added,
dropping on his knees under the bitter impulse of the moment, “and who
wiliest not the death of a sinner, oh lay not upon her or us a weight
of sorrow greater than we can bear. We do not, O Lord! for we dare not,
desire Thee to stay Thy hand; but oh, chastise us in mercy, especially
her--her--Our hearts’ dearest--she was ever the child, of our loves; but
now she is also the unhappy child of all our sorrows; the broken idol of
affections which we cannot change. Enable us, O God, to acquiesce under
this mysterious manifestation of Thy will, and to receive from Thy hand
with patience and resignation whatsoever of affliction it pleaseth Thee
to lay upon us. And touching this stricken one--if it were Thy blessed
will to--to--but no--oh no--not our will, oh Lord, but Thine be done!”
It was indeed a beautiful thing to see the sorrow-bound father bowing
down his gray locks with humility before the footstool of his God, and
forbearing even to murmur under a dispensation so fearfully calamitous
to him and his. Religion, however, at which the fool and knave may sneer
in the moments of convivial riot, is after all the only stay on which
the human heart can rest in those severe trials of life which almost
every one sooner or later is destined to undergo. The sceptic may indeed
triumph in the pride of his intellect or in the hour of his passion;
but no matter on what arguments his hollow creed is based, let but the
footstep of disease or death approach, and he himself is the first to
abandon it and take refuge in those truths which he had hitherto laughed
at or maligned. When Mr. Sinclair arose, his countenance, through all
the traces of sorrow which were upon it, beamed with a light which no
principle, merely human, could communicate to it. A dim but gentle and
holy radiance suffused his whole face, and his heart, for a moment,
received the assurance it wanted so much. He experienced a feeling for
which language has no terms, or at least none adequate to express its
character. It was “that peace of God which passeth all understanding.”
In a few minutes after he had concluded his short but earnest prayer,
Agnes returned to let him know that her mamma was better and would
presently come in to sit with Jane, whom she could not permit, she said,
to regain out of her sight. Jane had been silent for some time, but the
extreme brilliancy of her eyes and the energy of her excitement were too
obvious to permit any expectation of immediate improvement.
When her mother and Maria returned, accompanied also by William, she
took no note whatsoever of them, nor indeed did she appear to have an
eye for anything external to her own deep but unsettled misery. Time
after time they spoke to her as before, each earnestly hoping that some
favorite expression or familiar tone of voice might impinge, however
slightly, upon her reason, or touch some chord of her affections. These
tender devices of their love, however, all failed; no corresponding
emotion was awakened, and they resolved, without loss of time, to see
what course of treatment medical advice recommend them to pursue on her
behalf. Accordingly William proceeded with a heavy heart to call in the
aid of a gentleman who can bear full testimony to the accuracy of our
narrative--we allude to that able and eminent practitioner, Doctor
M’Cormick of. Belfast, whose powers, of philosophical analysis, and
patient investigation are surpassed only by the success of the masterly
skill with which he applies them. The moment he left the room for this
purpose, Jane spoke.
“It will be hard,” she said, “and I need not conceal it, for my very
thought has a voice at the footstool of the Almighty; the intelligences
of other worlds know it; all; the invisible spirits of the universe
know it; those that are evil rejoice, and the good would murmur if
the fulness of their own happiness permitted them. No--no--I need not
conceal it--hearken, therefore--hearken;” and she lowered her voice to
a whisper--“the Fawn of Springvale--Jane Sinclair--is predestined to
eternal misery. She is a _cast-away_. I may therefore speak and raise my
voice to warn; who shall dare,” she added, “who shall dare ever to part
from the truth! Those--those only who have been foredoomed--like me. Oh
misery, misery, is there no hope? nothing but despair for one so young,
and as they said, so gentle, and so beautiful, Alas! alas! Death to me
now is no consoler!”
She clasped her beautiful hands together as she spoke, and looked with
a countenance so full of unutterable woe that no heart could avoid
participating in her misery.
“Jane, oh darling of all our hearts,” said her weeping mother, “will you
not come over and sit beside your mamma--your mamma, my treasure, who
feels that she cannot long live to witness what you suffer.”
“The Fawn of Springvale,” she proceeded, “the gentle Fawn of Springvale,
for it was on the account of my gentleness I was so called, is
stricken--the arrow is here--in her poor broken heart; and what did she
do, what did the gentle creature do to suffer or to deserve all this
misery?”
“True, my sister--too true, too true,” said Maria, bursting into an
agony of bitter sorrow; “what strange mystery is in the gentle one’s
affliction? Surely, if there was ever a spotless or a sinless creature
on earth, she was and is that creature.”
“Beware of murmuring, Maria,” said her father; “the purpose, though
at present concealed, may yet become sufficiently apparent for us to
recognize in it the benignant dispensation of a merciful God. Our duty,
my dear child, is now to bear, and be resigned. The issues of this sad
calamity are with the Almighty, and with Him let us patiently leave
them.”
“Had I never disclosed my love,” proceeded Jane, “I might have stolen
quietly away from them all and laid my cheek on that hardest pillow
which giveth the soundest sleep; but would not concealment,” she added,
starting; “would not that too have been dissimulation? Oh God help
me!--it is, it is clear that in any event I was foredoomed!”
Agnes, who had watched her sister with an interest too profound to
suffer even the grief necessary on such an occasion to take place, now
went over, and taking her hand in one of hers, placed the fingers of the
other upon her sister’s cheek, thus attempting to fix Jane’s eyes upon
her own countenance--
“Do you not know who it is,” said she, “that is now speaking to
you?--Look upon me, and tell me do you forget me so soon?”
“Who can tell yet,” she proceeded, “who can tell yet--time may retrieve
all, and he may return: but the yew tree--I fear--I fear--why, it is
an emblem of death; and perhaps death may unite us--yes, and I say he
will--he will--he will. Does he not feel pity? Oh yes, in a thousand,
thousand cases he is the friend of the miserable. Death the Consoler!
Oh from how many an aching brow does he take away the pain for ever? How
many sorrows does he soothe into rest that is never broken!--from how
many hearts like mine, does he pluck the arrows that fester in them, and
bids them feel pain no more! In his house, that house appointed for all
living--what calmness and peace is there? How sweet and tranquil is the
bed which he smoothes down for the unhappy; there the wicked cease
from troubling, and the weary are at rest. Then give me Death the
Consoler?--Death the Consoler!”
A sense of relief and wild exultation beamed from her countenance,
on uttering the last words, and she rose up and walked about the room
wringing her hands, yet smiling at the idea of being relieved by Death
the Consoler! It is not indeed unusual to witness in deranged persons,
an unconscious impression of pain and misery, accompanied at the same
time by a vague sense of unreal happiness--that is, a happiness which,
whilst it balances the latent conviction of their misery does not,
however, ultimately remove it. This probably constitutes that pleasure
in madness, which, it is said, none but mad persons know.
At length she stood, and, for a long time seemed musing upon various and
apparently contrasted topics, for she sometimes smiled as a girl at play,
and sometimes relapsed into darkness of mood and pain, and incoherency.
But after passing through these rapid changes for many minutes, she
suddenly exclaimed in a low but earnest voice, “Where is he?”
“Where is who, love?” said her mother.
“Where is he?--why does he not come?--something more than usual must
prevent him, or he would not stay away so long from ‘his own Jane
Sinclair.’ But I forgot; bless me, how feeble my memory is growing!
Why this is the hour of our appointment, and I will be late unless I
hurry--for who could give so gentle and affectionate a being as Charles
pain?”
She immediately put on her bonnet, and was about to go abroad, when
her father, gently laying his hand upon her arm, said, in a kind but
admonitory voice, in which was blended a slightly perceptible degree of
parental authority--
“My daughter, surely you will not go out--you are unwell.”
She started slightly, paused, and looked as if trying to remember
something that she had forgotten. The struggle, however, was vain--her
recollection proved too weak for the task it had undertaken. After a
moment’s effort, she smiled sweetly in her father’s face, and said--
“You would not have me break my appointment, nor give poor Charles pain,
and his health, moreover, so delicate. You know he would die rather than
give me a moment’s anxiety. Die!--see that again--I know not what puts
death into my head so often.”
“Henry,” said her mother, “it is probably better to let her have her own
way for the present--at least until Dr. M’Cormick arrives. You and Agnes
can accompany her, perhaps she may be the better for it.”
“I cannot refuse her,” said the old man; “at all events, I agree with
you; there can, I think, be no possible harm in allowing her to go.
Come, Agnes, we must, alas! take care of her.”
She then went out, they walking a few paces behind her, and proceeded
down the valley which we have already described in the opening of this
story, until she came to the spot at the river, where she first met
Osborne. Here she involuntarily stood a moment, and putting her hand
to her right shoulder, seemed to miss some object, that was obviously
restored to her recollection by an association connected with the place.
She shook her head, and sighed several times, and then exclaimed--
“Ungrateful bird, does it neglect me too?”
Her father pressed Agnes’s arm with a sensation of joy, but spoke not
lest his voice might disturb her, or break the apparent continuity of
her reviving memory. She seemed to think, however, that she delayed here
too long, for without taking further notice of anything she hurried on
to the spot where the first disclosure of their loves had taken place.
On reaching it she looked anxiously and earnestly around the copse or
dell in which the yew tree, with its turf seat stood.
[Illustration: PAGE 52-- How is this?--how is this?--he is not here!]
“How is this?--how is this?”--she murmured to herself, “he is not here!”
Both her father and Agnes observed that during the whole course of
the unhappy but faithful girl’s love, they never had witnessed such
a concentrated expression of utter woe and sorrow as now impressed
themselves upon her features.
“He has not come,” said she; “but I can wait--I can wait--it will teach
my heart to be patient.”
She then clasped her hands, and sitting down under the shade of the yew
tree, mused and murmured to herself alternately, but in such an evident
spirit of desolation and despair, as made her father fear that her heart
would literally break down under the heavy burden of her misery. When
she had sat here nearly an hour, he approached her and gently taking her
hand, which felt as cold as marble, said--
“Will you not come home, darling? Your mamma is anxious you should
return to her. Come,” and he attempted gently to draw her with him.
“I can wait, I can wait,” she replied, “if he should come and find me
gone, he would break his heart--I can wait.”
“Oh do not droop, my sweet sister; do not droop so much; all will yet be
well,” said Agnes, weeping.
“I care for none but him--to me there is only one being in life--all
else is a blank; but he will not come, and is it not too much, to try
the patience of a heart so fond and faithful.”
“It is not likely he will come to-day,” replied Agnes; “something has
prevented him; but to-morrow--”
“I will seek him elsewhere,” said Jane, rising suddenly; “but is it not
singular, and indeed to what strange passes things may come? A young
lady seeking her lover!--not over-modest certainly--nay, positively
indelicate--fie upon me! Why should I thus expose myself? It is unworthy
of my father’s daughter, and Jane Sinclair will not do it.”
She then walked a few paces homewards, but again stopped and earnestly
looked in every direction, as if expecting to see the object of her
love. Long indeed did she linger about a spot so dear to her; and often
did she sit down again and rise to go--sometimes wringing her hands in
the muteness of sorrow, and sometimes exhibiting a sense of her neglect
in terms of pettish and indirect censure against Osborne for his delay.
It was in one of those capricious moments that she bent her steps
homewards; and as she had again to pass that part of the river where the
accident occurred to the dove, Agnes and her father observed that
she instinctively put her hand to her shoulder, and appeared as if
disappointed. On this occasion, however, she made no observation
whatever, but, much to their satisfaction, mechanically proceeded
towards Springvale House, which she reached without uttering another
word.
Until a short time before the arrival of Dr. M’Cormick, this silence
remained unbroken. She sat nearly in the same attitude, evidently
pondering on something that excited great pain, as was observable by her
frequent startings, and a disposition to look wildly about her, as if
with an intention of suddenly speaking. These, however, passed quickly
away, and she generally relapsed into her wild and unsettled reveries.
When the doctor arrived, he sat with her in silence for a considerable
time--listening to her incoherencies from an anxiety to ascertain,
as far as possible, by what she might utter, whether her insanity was
likely to be transient or otherwise. The cause of it he had already
heard from report generally, and a more exact and circumstantial account
on that day from her brother William.
“It is difficult,” he at length said, “to form anything like an exact
opinion upon the first attack of insanity, arising from a disappointment
of the heart. Much depends upon the firmness of the general character,
and the natural force of their common sense. If I were to judge, not
only by what I have heard from this most beautiful and interesting
creature, as well as from the history of her heart, which her brother
gave me so fully, I would say that I think this attack will not be a
long one. I am of opinion that her mind is in a state of transition not
from reason but to it; and that this transition will not be complete
without much physical suffering. The state of her pulse assures me of
this, as does the coldness of her hands. I should not be surprised if,
in the course of this very night she were attacked with strong fits.
These, if they take place, will either restore her to reason or confirm
her insanity. Poor girl,” said the amiable man, looking on her whilst
his eyes filled with tears, “he must have been a heartless wretch to
abandon such a creature. My dear Jane,” he added, addressing her, for
he had been, and still is, familiar with the family; “I am sorry to find
you are so unwell, but you will soon be bettor. Do you not know me.”
“It was sworn,” said the unhappy mourner; “it was sworn and I felt
this here--here “--and she placed her hand upon her heart; “I felt this
little tenant of my poor bosom sink--sink, and my blood going from my
cheeks when the words were uttered. More beautiful! more beautiful! why,
and what is love if it is borne away merely by beauty? I loved him
not for his beauty alone. I loved him because he--he--because he loved
me--but at first I did love him for his beauty; well, he has found
another more beautiful; and his own Jane Sinclair, his Fawn of
Springvale, as he used to call me, is forgotten. But mark me--let none
dare to blame him--he only fulfilled his destined part--the thing was
foredoomed, and I knew that by my suppression of the truth to my papa,
the seal of reprobation was set to my soul. Then--then it was that I
felt myself a cast-away! And indeed,” she added, rising up and laying
the forefinger of her right hand, on the palm of her left, “I would at
any time sacrifice myself for his happiness; I would; yet alas,” she
added, sitting down and hanging her head in sorrow; “why--why is it
that I am so miserable, when he is happy? Why is that, Miss Jane
Sinclair--why is that?” She then sighed deeply, and added in a tone of
pathos almost irresistible--“Oh that I had the wings of a dove, that I
might flee away and be at rest.”
She had scarcely spoken, when, by a beautiful and affecting coincidence,
Ariel entered the room, and immediately flew into her bosom. She put her
hand up and patted it for some time rather unconsciously than otherwise.
“Ah, you foolish bird,” she at length said; “have you no better place
of rest, no calmer spot to repose upon, than a troubled and a broken
heart?”
This incident of the dove, together with the mournful truth of this
melancholy observation, filled every eye with tears, except those of
her father, who now exhibited a spirit of calm obedience to what he
considered an affliction that called upon him to act as one whose faith
was not the theory of a historic Christian.
“But how,” added Jane, “can I be unhappy with the Paraclete in my bosom?
The Paraclete--oh that I were not reprobate and foredoomed--then indeed,
he might be there--all, all by one suppression of truth--but surely my
papa pities his poor girl for that, there is, I know, one that loves me,
and one that pities me. My papa knows that I am foredoomed, and cannot
but pity me: but where is he, and why does he delay so long. Hush! I
will sing--
The dawning of morn, the daylight’s sinking,
The night’s long hours still find me thinking
Of thee, thee--only thee!”
She poured a spirit into these words so full of the wild sorrow of
insanity, as to produce an effect that was thrilling and fearful upon
those who were forced to listen to her. Nay, her voice seemed, in
some degree, to awaken her own emotions, or to revive her memory to a
confused perception of her situation. And in mercy it would appear that
Providence unveiled only half her memory to reason; for from the effect
which even that passing glimpse had upon her, it is not wrong to infer
that had she seen it in its full extent, she would have immediately sunk
under it.
After singing the words of Moore with all the unregulated pathos of a
maniac, she wrung her hands, and was for a considerable time silent.
During this interval she sighed deeply, and after a pause of half an
hour arose suddenly, and seizing her father by the breast of the coat,
brought him over, and placed him on the sofa beside her. She then looked
earnestly into his face, and was about to speak, but her thoughts were
too weak for the task, and after putting her hand to her forehead, as
if to assist her recollection, she let it fall passively beside her, and
hung-her head in a mood, partaking at once of childish pique and deep
dejection.
The doctor, who watched her closely, observed, that in his opinion the
consequences of the unhappy intelligence that day communicated to her,
had not yet fully developed themselves. “The storm has not yet burst,”
he added, “but it is quite evident that the elements for it are fast
gathering. She will certainly have a glimpse of reason before the
paroxysms appear, because, in point of fact, that is what will induce
them.”
“How soon, doctor,” asked her mother, “do you think she will have to
encounter this fresh and woeful trial?”
“I should be disposed to think within the lapse of twenty-four hours;
certainly within forty-eight.”
The amiable doctor’s opinion, however, was much more quickly verified
than he imagined; for Jane, whose heart yearned towards her father with
the beautiful instinct of an affection which scarcely insanity itself
could overcome, once more looked earnestly into his face, with an eye in
which meaning and madness seemed to struggle for the mastery. She gazed
at him for a long time, put her hands upon his white hair, into which
she gently twined her long white fingers; once or twice she smiled, and
said something in a voice too low to be heard: but all at once she gave
a convulsive start, clasped her hands wofully, and throwing herself on
his bosom, exclaimed:
“Oh papa, papa--your child is lost: pray for me--pray for me.”
Her sobs became too thick and violent for further utterance; she panted
and wrought strongly, until at length she lay with locked teeth and
clenched hands struggling in a fit which eventually, by leaving her,
terminated in a state of lethargic insensibility.
For upwards of three days she suffered more than any person unacquainted
with her delicacy of constitution could deem her capable of enduring.
And, indeed, were it not that the aid rendered by Dr. M’Cormick was so
prompt and so skilful, it is possible that the sorrows of the faithful
Jane Sinclair might have here closed. On the fourth day, however, she
experienced a change; but, alas, such a change as left the loving and
beloved group who had hung over her couch with anxious hopes of her
restoration to reason, now utterly hopeless and miserable. She arose
from her paroxysms a beautiful, happy, and smiling maniac, from whose
soul in mercy had been removed that susceptibility of mental pain, which
constitutes the burthen and bitterness of ordinary calamity.
The first person who discovered this was her mother, who, on the fourth
morning of her illness, had stolen to her bedside to see how her beloved
one felt. Agnes, who would permit no other person to nurse her darling
sister, lay asleep with her head reclining on the foot of the bed,
having been overcome by her grief and the fatigue of incessant watching.
As her mother stooped down to look into the sufferer’s face, her heart
bounded with delight oh seeing Jane’s eyes smiling upon her with all the
symptoms of recognition.
“Jane, my heart’s dearest,” she said, in a soothing, low inquiry, “don’t
you know me?”
“Yes, very well,” she replied; “you are my mamma, and this is Agnes
sleeping on the foot of the bed. Why does she sleep there?”
The happy mother scarcely heard her child’s question, for ere the words
were well uttered she laid her head down upon the mourner’s bosom, in
a burst of melancholy joy, and wept so loudly that her voice awakened
Agnes, who, starting up, exclaimed:
“Oh, mother, mother--what is this? Is--?” she said, “No, no--she must
not--she would not leave her Agnes. Oh mother--mother, is it so?”
“No, no, Agnes love; no--but may the mercy of God be exalted for ever,
Jane knows her mamma this morning, and she knows you too, Agnes.”
That ever faithful sister no sooner heard the words, than a smile of
indescribable happiness overspread her face, which, however, became
instantly pale, and the next moment she sunk down, and in a long swoon
forgot both the love and sorrow of her favorite sister. In little more
than a minute the family were assembled in the sickroom, and heard from
Mrs. Sinclair’s lips the history, as she thought, of their beloved one’s
recovery. Agnes was soon restored, and indeed it would be impossible
to witness a scene of such unexpected delight, as that presented by the
rejoicing group which surrounded the bed of the happy--alas, too happy,
Jane Sinclair.
“Is it possible, my dear,” said her father, “that our darling is
restored to her sense and recollection?”
“Try her, Henry,” said the proud mother.
“Jane, my love, do you not know me?” he asked.
“To be sure, papa; to be sure,” she replied smiling.
“And you know all of us, my heart’s treasure?”
“Help me up a little,” she replied; “now I will show you: you are my
papa--there is my mamma--that is William--and Maria there will kiss me.”
Maria, from whose eyes gushed tears of delight, flew to the sweet girl’s
bosom.
“But,” added Jane, “there is another--another that must come to my bosom
and stay there--Agnes!”
“I am here, my own darling,” replied Agnes, stooping and folding her
arms about the beautiful creature’s snow-white neck, whilst she kissed
her lips with a fervor of affection equal to the delight experienced at
her supposed recovery.
“There now, Agnes, you are to sleep with mo to-night: but I want my
papa. Papa, I want you.”
Her father stood forward, his mild eyes beaming with an expression of
delight and happiness.
“I am here, my sweet child.”
“You ought to be a proud man, papa; a proud man: although I say it,
that ought _not_ to say it, you are father to the most beautiful girl in
Europe. Charles Osborne has traveled Europe, and can find none at all
so beautiful as the Fawn of Springvale, and so he is coming home one of
these days to marry me, because, you know, because he could find none
else so beautiful. If he had--if he had--you know--you may be assured, I
would not be the girl of his choice. Yet I would marry him still, if it
were not for one thing; and that is--that I am foredoomed; a reprobate
and a cast-away; predestined--predestined--and so I would not wish to
drag him to hell along with me; I shall therefore act the heroic part,
and refuse him. Still it is something--oh it is much--and I am proud
of it, not only on my own account, but on his, to be the most beautiful
girl in Europe! I am proud of it, because he would not marry if I were
not.”
Oh unhappy, but affectionate mourners, what--what was all you had yet
suffered, when contrasted with the sudden and unexpected misery of this
bitter moment Your hearts had gathered in joy and happiness around the
bed of that sweet girl, the gleams of whose insanity you had mistaken
for the light of reason; and now has hope disappeared, and the darkness
of utter despair fallen upon you all for ever.
“I wish to rise,” she proceeded, “and to join the morning prayer; until
then I shall only dress in my wrapper: after that I shall dress as
becomes me. I know I have nothing to hope either in this world or the
next, consequently pride in me is not a sin: the measure of my misery
has been filled up; and the only interval, of happiness left me, is that
between this and death. Dress me, Agnes.”
The pause arising from the revulsion of feeling, occasioned by the
discovery of her settled insanity, was indeed an exemplification of that
grief which lies too deep for tears. Sone of them could weep, but
they looked upon her and each other, with a silent agony, which far
transcended the power of clamorous sorrow.
“Children,” said her father, whose fortitude, considering the nature of
this his great affliction, was worthy of better days; “let us neither
look upon our beloved one, nor upon each other. There,” said he,
pointing upwards, “let us look there. You all know how I loved--how I
love her. You all know how she loved me; but I cast--or I strive to
cast the burthen, of my affliction upon Him who has borne all for our
salvation, and you see I am tearless. Dress the dear child, Agnes, and
as she desires it, let her join us at prayer, and may the Lord who has
afflicted us, hearken to our supplications!”
Tenderly and with trembling hands did Agnes dress the beloved girl,
and when the fair creature, supported by her two sisters, entered the
parlor, never was a more divine picture of beauty seen to shine out of
that cloud, with which the mysterious hand of of God had enveloped her.
At prayer she knelt as meekly, and with as much apparent devotion as she
had ever done in the days of her most rational and earnest piety. But it
was woful to see the blighted girl go through all the forms of worship,
when it was known that the very habit which actuated her resulted from
those virtues, which even insanity could not altogether repress.
When they had arisen from their, knees, she again addressed Agnes in
a tone of cheerful sweetness, such as she had exhibited in her happier
days.
“Agnes, now for our task; and indeed you must perform it with care.
Remember that you are about to dress the most beautiful girl in Europe.
What a fair cast-away am I, Agnes?”
“I hope not a cast-away, Jane; but I shall dress you with care and
tenderness, notwithstanding.”
“Every day I must dress in my best, because when Charles returns, you
know it will be necessary that I should justify his choice, by appearing
as beautiful as possible.”
“Give the innocent her own way,” said her father; “give her, in all that
may gratify the child, her own way, where it is not directly wrong to do
so.”
Agnes and she then went up to her room, that she might indulge in that
harmless happiness, which the fiction of hope had, under the mercy of
God, extracted, from the reality of despair.
When the ceremony of the toilette was over, she and her sister returned
to the parlor, and they could notice a slight tinge of color added to
her pale cheek, by the proud consciousness of her beauty. The exertion,
however, she had undergone, considering her extremely weak and exhausted
state of of health was more than she could bear long. But a few minutes
had elapsed after her reappearance in the parlor, when she said--
“Mamma, I am unwell; I want to be undressed, and to go to bed; I am very
faint; help me to bed, mamma--and if you come and stay with me, I shall
tell you every thing about my prospects in life--yes, and in death, too;
because I have prospects in death--but ah,” she added, shuddering, “they
are dark--dark!”
Seldom, indeed, was a family tried like this family; and never was the
endurance of domestic love, and its triumph over the chilling habit of
affliction, more signally manifested than in the undying tenderness of
their hearts and hands, in all that was necessary to her comfort, or
demanded by the childish caprices of her malady.
On going upstairs, she kissed them all as usual, but they then
discovered, for the first time, in all its bitterness, what a dark and
melancholy enjoyment it is to kiss the lips of a maniac, who has loved
us, and whom we still must love.
“Jane,” said William, struggling to be firm, “kiss me, too, before you
go.”
“Come to me, William,” said she, “for I am not able to go to you. Oh, my
brother, if I did not love you, I would be very wicked.”
The affectionate young man kissed her, and, as he did, the big tears
rolled down his cheeks. He wept aloud.
“I never, never gave her up till now,” he exclaimed; “but”--and his face
darkened into deep indignation as he spoke, “we shall see about it
yet, Jane dear. I shall allow a month or two--she may recover; but if
I suffer this to go unav----” he paused; “I meant nothing,” he added,
“except that I will not despair of her yet.”
About ten days restored her to something like health, but it was obvious
that her constitution had sustained a shock which it could not long
survive. Of this Dr. M’Cormick assured them.
“In so delicate a subject as she is,” he added, “we usually find that
when reason goes, the physical powers soon follow it. But if my opinion
be correct, I think you will have the consolation of seeing her mind
clear before she dies. There comes often in such cases what the common
people properly, and indeed beautifully, term a light before death, and
I think she will have it. As you are unanimous against putting her
into a private asylum, you must only watch the sweet girl quietly,
and without any appearance of vigilance, allowing her in all that is
harmless and indifferent to have her own way. Religious feeling you
perceive constitutes a strong feature in her case, the rest is obviously
the result of the faithless conduct of Osborne. Poor girl, here she
comes, apparently quite happy.” Jane entered as he spoke, after having
been dressed as usual for the day, in her best apparel. She glanced for
a moment at the glass, and readjusted her hair which had, she thought,
got a little out of order; after which she said, smiling,
“Why should I fear comparisons? He may come as soon as he pleases. I am
ready to receive him, but do you know I think that my papa and mamma are
not so fond of me as they ought to be. Is it not an honor to have for
their daughter a girl whose beauty is unsurpassed in Europe? I am not
proud of it for my own sake, but for his.”
“Jane, do you know this gentleman, dear?” said her mother.
“Oh yes; that is Dr. M’Cormick.”
“I am glad to see that your health is so much improved, my dear,” said
the doctor.
“Oh yes;” she replied, “I am quite well--that is so far as this world is
concerned; but for all so happy as I look, you would never guess that
I am reprobate. Now could you tell me, doctor, why it is that I look so
happy knowing as I do that I am foredoomed to misery?”
“No,” he replied, “but you will tell us yourself.”
“Why it is because I do know it. Knowing the worst is often a great
consolation, I assure you. I, at least, have felt it so.”
“Oh what a noble mind is lost in that sweet girl!” exclaimed the worthy
physician.
“But it seems, mamma,” she proceeded, “there is a report gone abroad
that I am mad. I met yesterday--was it not yesterday, Agnes?--I met a
young woman down on the river side, and she asked me if it were true
that I was crazed with love, and how do you think I replied, mamma? I
said to her, ‘If you would avoid misery--misery, mark--never violate
truth even indirectly.’ I said that solemnly, and would have said more
but that Agnes rebuked her for speaking, and then wept. Did you not
weep, Agnes?”
“Oh no wonder I should,” replied her sister, deeply moved; “the
interview she alludes to, doctor, was one that occurred the day before
yesterday between her and another poor girl in the neighborhood who
is also unsettled, owing to a desertion of a still baser kind. It was
becoming too affecting to listen to, and I chid the poor thing off.”
“Yes, indeed, she chid her off, and the poor thing as she told me, about
to be a bride to-morrow. She said she was in quest of William that they
might be married, and asked me if I had seen him. If you do, she added,
tell him that Fanny is waiting for him, and that as everything is ready
she expects he’ll come and marry her to-morrow as he promised. Now,
mamma, Agnes said, that although she chid her, she wept for her, but
why should you weep, Agnes, for a girl who is about to become a bride
to-morrow? Surely you did not weep because she was going to be made
happy? Did you?”
“All who are going to become brides are not about to experience
happiness, my dear,” replied her sister.
“Oh, I should think so certainly, Agnes,” replied Jane. “Fie, fie, dear
sister Agnes, do not lay down such doctrine. Did you not see the happy
girl we met yesterday--was it yesterday? But no matter, Agnes, we shall
not quarrel about it. Come and walk. Good-by, my mamma; doctor, I wish
you a good morning,” and with a grace that was inimitable, she made him
a distant, but most respectful curtsey.
“Oh!” said she, turning back, “if any stranger should arrive during my
absence, mamma, send for me immediately; or stay do not--let him meet me
at the place appointed; I will be there.”
She then took Agnes’s arm, for Agnes it was who attended her in all her
ramblings, and both proceeded on their every-day saunter through the
adjoining fields.
A little time, indeed, proved how very accurate had been the opinion of
Dr. M’Cormick; for although Jane was affected by no particular bodily
complaint, yet it appeared by every day’s observation that she was
gradually sinking. In the meantime, three or four months elapsed without
bringing about any symptom whatsoever of improvement. Her derangement
flashed out into no extraordinary paroxysm, but on the contrary assumed
a wild and graceful character, sometimes light and unsettled as the
glancing of sunbeams on a disturbed current, and occasionally pensive
and beautiful as the beams of an autumnal moon. In all the habits of the
family she was most exact. Her devotional composure at prayer appeared
to be fraught with the humblest piety; her attendance at Meeting was
remarkably punctual, and her deportment edifying to an extreme degree.
The history, too, of her insanity and its cause had gone far and wide,
as did the sympathy which it excited. In all her innocent ramblings with
Agnes around her father’s house, and through the adjoining fields, no
rude observation or unmannered gaze ever offended the gentle creature;
but on the contrary, the delicate-minded peasant of the north would
often turn aside from an apprehension of disturbing her, as well perhaps
as out of reverence for the calamity of a creature so very young and
beautiful.
Indeed, many affecting observations were made, which, could her friends
have heard them, would have fallen like balm upon their broken spirits.
Full of compassion they were for her sore misfortune, and of profound
sympathy for the sorrows of her family.
“Alas the day, my bonnie lady! My Heart is sair to see sae lovely a
thing gliding about sae unhappy. Black be his gate that had the heart
to leave you, for rank and wealth, my winsome lassie. Weary on him, and
little good may his wealth and rank do him! Oh wha would a thocht that
the peerless young blossom wad hae been withered so soon, or that the
Fawn o’ Springvale wad hae ever come to the like o’ this. Alas! the
day, too, for the friends that nurst you, Ay bonnie bairn!” and then the
kind-hearted matron would wipe her eyes on seeing the far-loved Fawn of
Springvale passing by, unconscious that the fatal arrow which had first
struck her was still quivering in her side. The fourth month had
now elapsed, and Jane’s malady neither exhibited any change nor the
slightest symptom of improvement. William, who had watched her closely
all along, saw that no hope of any such consummation existed. He
remarked, too, with a bitter sense of the unprincipled injury inflicted
on the confiding girl, that every week drew her perceptibly nearer and
nearer to the grave. His blood had in fact long been boiling in
his veins with an indignation which he could scarcely stifle. He
entertained, however, a strong reverence for religion, and had Jane,
after a reasonable period, recovered, he intended to leave Osborne to be
punished only by his own remorse. There was no prospect, however, of her
being restored to reason, and now his determination was finally taken.
Nay, so deeply resolved had he been on this as an ultimate step in the
event of her not recovering, that soon after Mr. Osborne’s return from
London, he waited on that gentleman, and declared his indignation at the
treachery of his son to be so deep and implacable that he requested of
him as a personal favor, to suspend all communication with the unhappy
girl’s family, lest he might be tempted even by the sight of any person
connected with so base a man, to go and pistol him on whatever spot he
might be able to find him. This, which was rather harsh to the amiable
gentleman, excited in his breast more of sorrow than resentment. But it
happened fortunately enough for both parties that a day or two before
this angry communication, Dr. M’Cormick had waited upon the latter, and
gave it as his opinion that any intercourse between the two families
would be highly dangerous to Jane’s state of mind, by exciting
associations that might bring back to her memory the conduct of his son.
The consequence was, that they saw each other only by accident, although
Mr. Osborne often sent to inquire privately after Jane’s health.
William having now understood that Osborne and his wife resided in
Paris, engaged a friend to accompany him thither, for the purpose of
demanding satisfaction for the injuries inflicted on his sister. All
the necessary arrangements were accordingly made; the very day for
their departure was appointed, and a letter addressed to Agnes actually
written, to relieve the family from the alarm occasioned by his
disappearance, when a communication from Osborne to his father, at once
satisfied the indignant young man that his enemy was no longer an object
for human resentment.
This requires but brief explanation. Osborne, possessing as he did,
ambition, talent, and enthusiasm in a high degree, was yet deficient in
that firmness of purpose which is essential to distinction in public or
private life. His wife was undoubtedly both beautiful and accomplished,
and it is undeniable that his marriage with her opened to him brilliant
prospects as a public man. Notwithstanding her beauty, however, their
union took place not to gratify his love, but his ambition. Jane
Sinclair, in point of fact, had never been displaced from his affection,
for as she was in his eye the most beautiful, so was she in the moments
of self-examination, the best beloved. This, however, availed the
unhappy girl but little, with a man in whose character ambition was the
predominant impulse. To find himself beloved by a young and beautiful
woman of wealth and fashion was too much for one who possessed but
little firmness and an insatiable thirst after distinction. To
jostle men of rank and property out of his path, and to jostle them
successfully, when approaching the heart of an heiress, was too much for
the vanity of an obscure young man, with only a handsome person and
good talents to recommend him. The glare of fashionable life, and the
unexpected success of his addresses made him giddy, and despite an
ineffaceable conviction of dishonor and treachery, he found himself
husband to a rich heiress, and son-in-law to a baronet. And now was he
launched in fall career upon the current of fashionable dissipation,
otherwise called high life. This he might have borne as well as the
other votaries of polished profligacy, were it not for one simple
consideration--he had neither health nor constitution, nor, to do the
early lover of Jane Sinclair justice, heart for the modes and habits
of that society, through the vortices of which he now found himself
compelled to whirl. He was not, in fact, able to keep pace with the
rapid motions of his fashionable wife, and the result in a very
short time was, that their hearts were discovered to be anything
but congenial--in fact anything but united. The absence of domestic
happiness joined to that remorse which his conduct towards the
unassuming but beautiful object of his first affection entailed upon a
heart that, notwithstanding its errors, was incapable of foregoing
its own convictions, soon broke down the remaining stamina of his
constitution, and before the expiration of three months, he found
himself hopelessly smitten by the same disease which had been so fatal
to his family. His physicians told him that if there were any chance
of his recovery, it must be in the efficacy of his native air; and his
wife, with fashionable apathy, expressed the same opinion, and hoped
that he might, after a proper sojourn at home, be enabled to join her
early in the following season at Naples. Up to this period he had heard
nothing of the mournful consequences which his perfidy had produced
upon the intellect of our unhappy Jane. His father, who in fact still
entertained hopes of her ultimate sanity, now that his son was married,
deemed it unnecessary to embitter his peace by a detail of the evils he
had occasioned her. But when, like her brother William, he despaired of
her recovery, he considered it only an act of justice towards her and
her family to lay before Charles the hideousness of his guilt together
with its woful consequences. This melancholy communication was received
by him the day after his physicians had given him over, for in fact the
prescription of his native air was only a polite method of telling him
that there was no hope. His conscience, which recent circumstances
had already awakened, was not prepared for intelligence so dreadful.
Remorse, or rather repentance seized him, and he wrote to beg that his
father would suffer a penitent son to come home to die.
This letter, the brief contents of which we have given, his father
submitted to Mr. Sinclair, whose reply was indeed characteristic of the
exalted Christian, who can forget his own injury in the distress of his
enemy.
“Let him come,” said the old man; “our resentments have long since
passed away, and why should not yours? He has now a higher interest to
look to than any arising from either love or ambition. His immortal soul
is at stake, and if we can reconcile him to heaven, the great object of
existence will after all be secured. God forbid that our injuries should
stand in the way of his salvation. Allow me,” he added, “to bring this
letter home, that I may read it to my family, with one exception of
course. Alas! it contains an instructive lesson.”
This was at once acceded to by the other, and they separated.
When William heard the particulars of Osborne’s melancholy position,
he of course gave up the hostility of his purpose, and laid before
his friend a history of the circumstances connected with his brief and
unhappy career.
“He is now a dying man,” said William, “to whom this life, its idle
forms and unmeaning usages, are as nothing, or worse than nothing. A
higher tribunal than the guilty spirit of this world’s honor will demand
satisfaction from him for his baseness towards unhappy Jane. To that
tribunal I leave him; but whether he live or die, I will never look upon
my insane sister, without thinking of him as a villain, and detesting
his very name and memory.”
If these sentiments be considered ungenerous, let it be remembered
that they manifested less his resentment to Osborne, than the deep and
elevated affection which he bore his sister, for whose injuries he felt
much more indignantly than he would have done for his own.
Jane, however, from this period forth began gradually to break down, and
her derangement, though still inoffensive and harmless, assumed a more
anxious and melancholy expression. This might arise, to be sure, from
the depression of spirits occasioned by a decline of health. But from
whatever cause it proceeded, one thing was evident, that an air of deep
dejection settled upon her countenance and whole deportment. She would
not, for instance, permit Agnes in their desultory rambles to walk by
her side, but besought her to attend at a distance behind her.
“I wish to be alone, dear Agnes,” she said, “but notwithstanding that, I
do not wish to be without you. I might have been some time ago the Queen
of beauty, but now, Agnes, I am the Queen of Sorrow.”
“You have had your share of sorrow, my poor stricken creature,” replied
Agnes, heavily.
“But there is, Agnes, a melancholy beauty in sorrow--it is so sweet to
be sad. Did. you ever see a single star in the sky, Agnes?”
“Yes, love, often.”
“Well, that is like sorrow, or rather that is like me. Does it not
always seem to mourn, and to mourn alone, but the moment that another
star arises then the spell is broken, and it seems no more to mourn in
the solitude of heaven.”
“Agnes looked at her with sad but earnest admiration, and exclaimed in a
quivering-voice as she pressed her to her bosom,
“Oh Jane, Jane, how my heart loves you!--the day is coming, my
sister--our sweetest, our youngest, our dearest--the day is coming when
we will see you no more--when your sorrows and your joys, whether
real or imaginary--when all the unsettled evidences of goodness,
which nothing could destroy, will be gone; and you with all you’ve
suffered--with all your hopes and fears, will be no longer present for
our hearts to gather about. Oh my sister, my sister! how will the old
man live! He will not--he will not. We see already that he suffers, and
what it costs him to be silent. His gait is feeble and infirm is and
head bent since the’ hand of afiliction has come upon you. Yet, Jane,
Jane, we could bear all, provided you were permitted to remain with us!
Your voice--your voice--and is the day so soon to come when we will
not hear it? when our eyes will no more rest upon you? And”--added
the affectionate girl, now overcome by her feelings, laying her calm
sister’s head at the same time upon her bosom, “and when those locks so
brown and rich that your Agnes’s hands have so often dressed, will be
mouldering in the grave, and that face--oh, the seal of death is upon
your pale, pale cheek, my sister!--my sister!” She could say no more,
but kissed Jane’s lips, and pressing her to her heart, she wept in a
long fit of irrepressible grief.
Jane looked up with a pensive gaze into Agnes’s face, and as she calmly
dried her sister’s tears, said:--
“Is it not strange, Agnes, that I who am the Queen of Sorrow cannot
weep. I resemble some generous princess, who though rich, gives away her
wealth to the needy in such abundance that she is always poor herself. I
who weep not, supply you all with tears, and cannot find one for myself
when I want it. Indeed so it seems, my sister.”
“It is true, indeed, Jane--too true, too true, my darling.”
“Agnes, I could tell you a secret. It is not without reason that I am
the Queen of Sorrow.”
“Alas, it is not, my sweet innocent.”
“I have the secret here,” said she, putting her hand to her bosom, “and
no one suspects that I have. The cause why I am the Queen of Sorrow
is indeed here--here. But come, I do not much like this arbor somehow.
There is, I think, a reason for it, but I forget it. Let us walk
elsewhere.”
This was the arbor of osiers in which Osborne in the enthusiasm of his
passion, said that if during his travels he found a girl more beautiful,
he would cease to love Jane, and to write to her--an expression which,
as the reader knows, exercised afterwards a melancholy power upon her
intellect.
Agnes and she proceeded as she desired, to saunter about, which they did
for the most part in silence, except when she wished to stop and make an
observation of her own free will. Her step was slow, her face pale, and
her gait, alas, quite feeble, and evidently that of a worn frame and a
broken heart.
For some time past, she seemed to have forgotten that she was a
foredoomed creature, and a cast-away, at least her allusions to this
were less frequent than before--a circumstance which Dr. M’Cormick said
he looked upon as the most favorable symptom he had yet seen in her
case.
Upon this day, however, she sauntered about in silence, and passed from
place to place, followed by Agnes; like the waning moon, accompanied by
her faithful and attendant star.
After having passed a green field, she came upon the road with an
intention of crossing it, and going down by the river to the yew tree,
which during all her walks she never failed to visit. Here it was that,
for the second time, she met poor Fanny Morgan, the unsettled victim of
treachery more criminal still than that which had been practised upon
herself.
“You are the bonnie Fawn of Springvale that’s gone mad with love,” said
the unhappy creature.
“No, no,” replied Jane, “you are mistaken. I am the Queen of Sorrow.”
“I am to be married to-morrow,” said the other. “Everything’s ready,
but I can’t find William. Did you see him? But maybe you may, and if you
do--oh speak a word for me, but one word, and tell him that all’s ready,
and that Fanny’s waiting, and that he must not break his promise.”
“You are very happy to be married tomorrow.”
“Yes,” replied the other smiling--“I am happy enough now; but when we
are married--when William makes me his wife, people won’t look down on
me any longer. I wish I could find him, for oh, my heart is sick, and
will be sick, until I see him. If he knew how I was treated, he would
not suffer it. If you see him, will you promise to tell him that all’s
ready, and that I am waiting for him?--Will you, my bonnie lady?”
“I could tell you a secret,” said Jane--“they don’t know at home that
I got the letter at all--but I did, and have read it--he is coming
home--coming home to die--that’s what makes me the Queen of Sorrow. Do
you ever weep?”
“No, but they took the baby from me, and beat me--my brother John did;
but William was not near to take my part?”
“Who will you have at the wedding?”
“I have no bride’s maid yet--but may be you would be that for me,
my bonnie lady. John said I disgraced them; but surely I only loved
William. I wish to-morrow was past, and that he would remove my shame--I
could then be proud, but now I cannot.”
“And what are you ashamed of? It is no shame to love him.”
“No, no, and all would be well enough, but that they beat me and took
away the baby--my brother John did.”
“But did William ever swear to you, that if he mot a girl more
beautiful, he would cease to love you, and to write to you?”
“No, he promised to marry me.”
“And do you know why he does not?”
“If I could, find him he would. Oh, if you see him, will you tell him
that I’m waiting, and that all’s ready?”
“You,” said Jane, “have been guilty of a great sin.”
“So they said, and that I brought myself to shame too. But William will
take away that if I could find him.”
“You told an indirect falsehood to your father--you concealed the
truth--and now the hand of God is upon you. There is nothing for you now
but death.”
“I don’t like death--it took away my baby--if they would give me back my
baby I would not care---except John--I would hide from him.”
“William’s married to another and dying, so that you may become a queen
of sorrow too--would you like that--sorrow is a sweet thing.”
“How could he marry another, and be promised to me?”
“Is your heart cold?” inquired Jane.
“No,” replied the other smiling, “indeed I am to be married to-morrow?”
“Let me see you early in the morning,” said Jane--“if you do, perhaps
I may give you this,” showing the letter. “Your heart cannot be cold
if you keep it--I carry it here,” said she, putting her hand to her
bosom--“but I need not, for mine will be warm enough soon.”
“Mine’s warm enough too,” said the other.
“If William comes, you will find poison on his lips,” said Jane, “and
that will kill you--the poison of polluted lips would kill a thousand
faithful hearts--it, would--and there is nothing for treachery but
sorrow. Be sorrowful--be sorrowful--it is the only thing to ease a
deserted heart--it eases mine.”
“But then they say you’re crazed with love.”
“No, no--with sorrow; but listen, never violate truth--never be guilty
of falsehood; if you do, you will become unhappy; and if you do not, the
light of God’s countenance will shine upon you.”
“Indeed it is no lie, for as sure as you stand there to-morrow is the
day.”
“I think I love you,” said the gentle and affectionate Jane. “Will you
kiss me? my sister Agnes does when I ask her.”
“Why shouldn’t I, my bonnie, bonnie lady? Why shouldn’t I? Oh! indeed,
but you are bonnie, and yet be crazed with love! Well, well, he will
never comb a gray head that deserted the bonnie Fawn of Spring-vale.”
Jane, who was much the taller, stooped, and with a smile of melancholy,
but unconscious sympathy, kissed the forlorn creature’s lips, and after
beckoning Agnes to follow her, passed on.
That embrace! Who could describe its character? Oh! man, man, and woman,
woman, think of this!
Agnes, after Jane and she had returned home, found that a search had
been instigated during their absence for the letter which Charles had
written to his father. Mr. Sinclair, anxious to return it, had missed
it from among his papers, and felt seriously concerned at its
disappearance.
“I only got it to read to the family,” said he, “and what am I to say,
or what can I say, when Mr. Osborne asks me, as he will, to return it?
Agnes, do you know anything of it?”
Agnes, who, from the interview between Jane and the unsettled Fanny
Morgan, saw at once that it had got, by some means unknown to the
family, into her sister’s hands, knew not exactly in what terms to
reply. She saw too, that Jane looked upon the possession of the letter
as a secret, and in her presence she felt that considering her sister’s
view of the matter, and her state of mind, she could not, without
pressing too severely on the gentle creature’s sorrow, inform her father
of the truth.
“Papa,” said the admirable and considerate girl, “the letter I have no
doubt will be found. I beg of you papa, I beg of you not to be uneasy
about it; it will be found.”
This she said in a tone as significant as possible, with a hope that her
father might infer from her manner that Jane had the letter in question.
The old man looked at Agnes, and appeared as if striving to collect the
meaning of what she said, but he was not long permitted to remain in any
doubt upon the subject.
Jane approached him slowly, and putting her hand to her bosom, took out
the letter and placed it upon the table before him.
“It came from him,” said she, “and that was the reason why I put it next
my heart. You know, papa, he is dying, and this letter is a message of
death. I thought that such a message was more proper from him to me than
to any one else. I have carried it next my heart, and you may take it
now, papa. The message has been delivered, and I feel that death is
here--for that is all that he and it have left me. I am the star of
sorrow--Pale and mournful in the lonely sky; yet,” she added as she did
on another occasion, “we shall not all die, but we shall be changed.”
“My sweet child,” said Mr. Sinclair, “I am not angry with, you about the
letter; I only wish you to keep your spirits up, and not be depressed so
much as you are.” She appeared quite exhausted, and replied not for some
time; at length she said:
“Papa, mamma, have I done anything wrong? If I have tell me. Oh, Agnes,
Agnes, but my heart is heavy.”
“As sure as heaven is above us, Henry,” whispered her mother to Mr.
Sinclair, “she is upon the point of being restored to her senses.”
“Alas, my dear,” he replied, “who can tell? It may happen as you say. Oh
how I shall bless God if it does! but still, what, what will it be but,
as Dr. M’Cormick said, the light before death? The child is dying, and
she will be taken from us for ever, for ever!”
Jane, whilst they spoke, looked earnestly and with a struggling eye
into the countenances of those who were about her; but again she smiled
pensively, and said:
“I am--I am the star of sorrow, pale and mournful in the lonely sky.
Jane Sinclair is no more--the Fawn of Springvale is no more--I am now
nothing but sorrow. I was the queen, but now I am the star of sorrow.
Oh! how I long to set in heaven!”
She was then removed to bed, whore with her mother and her two sisters
beside her, she lay quiet as a child, repeating to herself--“I am the
star of sorrow, pale and mournful in the lonely sky; but now I know
that I will soon set in heaven. Jane Sinclair is no more--the Fawn of
Springvale is no more. No--I am now the star of sorrow!” The melancholy
beauty of the sentiment seemed to soothe her, for she continued to
repeat these words, sometimes aloud and sometimes in a sweet voice,
until she fell gently asleep.
“She is asleep,” said Agnes, looking upon her still beautiful but
mournful features, now, indeed composed into an expression of rooted
sorrow. They all stood over the bed, and looked upon her for many
minutes. At length Agnes clasped her hands, and with a suffocating
voice, as if her heart would break, exclaimed, “Oh mother, mother,” and
rushed from the room that she might weep aloud without awakening the
afflicted one who slept.
Another week made a rapid change upon her for the worse, and it was
considered necessary to send for Dr. M’Cormick, as from her feebleness
and depression they feared that her dissolution was by no means distant,
especially as she had for the last three days been confined to her bed.
The moment he saw her, his opinion confirmed their suspicions.
“Deal gently with her now,” said he; “a fit or a paroxysm of any kind
would be fatal to her. The dear girl’s unhappy race is run--her sands
are all but numbered. This moment her thread of life is not stronger
than a gossamer.” Ere his departure on that occasion, he brought Mr.
Sinclair aside and thus addressed him:
“Are you aware, sir, that Mr. Osborne’s son has returned.”
“Not that he has actually returned,” replied Mr. Sinclair, “but I know
that he is daily expected.”
“He reached his father’s house,” continued the doctor, “early yesterday;
and such a pitiable instance of remorse as he is I have never seen, and
I hope never shall. His cry is to see your daughter, that he may hear
his forgiveness from her own lips. He says he cannot die in hope or in
happiness, unless she pardons him. This, however, must not be--I mean
an interview between them--for it would most assuredly prove fatal to
himself; and should she see him only for a moment, that moment were her
last.”
“I will visit the unhappy young man myself,” said her father; “as for an
interview it cannot be thought of--even if they could bear it, Charles
forgets that he is the husband of another woman, and that, consequently,
Jane is nothing to him--and that such a meeting would be highly--grossly
improper.”
“Your motives, though perfectly just, are different from mine,” said the
doctor--“I speak merely as a medical man. He wants not this to hurry him
into the grave--he will be there soon enough.”
“Let him feel repentance towards God,” said the old man
heavily--“towards my child it is now unavailing. It is my duty, as it
shall be my endeavor, to fix this principle in his heart.”
The Doctor then departed, having promised to see Jane on the next
day but one. This gentleman’s opinion, however, with respect to his
beautiful patient, was not literally correct; still, although she
lingered longer than could naturally be anticipated from her excessive
weakness, yet he was right in saying that her thread of life resembled,
that of the gossamer.
In the course of the same evening, she gave the first symptom of a lucid
interval; still in point of fact her mind was never wholly restored to
sanity. She had slept long and soundly, and after awaking rang the bell
for some one to come to her. This was unusual, and in a moment she was
attended by Agnes and her mother.
“I am very weak, my dear mamma,” said she, “and although I cannot say
that I feel any particular complaint--I speak of a bodily one--yet I
feel that my strength is gone, and that you will not be troubled with
your poor Jane much longer.”
“Do not think so, dear love, do not think so,” replied her mother; “bear
up, my darling, bear up, and all may yet be well.”
“Agnes,” said she, “come to me. I know not--perhaps--dear Agnes----”
She could utter no more. Agnes flew to her, and they wept in each
other’s arms for many minutes.
“I would be glad to see my papa,” she said, “and my dear Maria and
William. Oh mamma, mamma, I suspect that I have occasioned you all much
sorrow.”
“No, no, no--but more joy now, my heart’s own treasure, a thousand times
more joy than you ever occasioned us of sorrow. Do not think it, oh, do
not think it.”
Her father, who had just returned from visiting Charles Osborne, now
entered her bedroom, accompanied by William and his two daughters--for
Agnes had flown to inform them of the happy turn which had taken place
in Jane’s malady. When he entered, she put her white but wasted hand
out, and raised her head to kiss him.
“My dear papa,” said she, “it is so long, I think, since I have seen
you; and Maria, too. Oh, dear Maria, come to me--but you must not weep,
dear sister. Alas, Maria,”--for the poor girl wept bitterly--“Oh, my I
sister, but your heart is good and loving. William”--she kissed him, and
looking tenderly into his face, said,
“Why, oh, why are you all in tears? Imitate my papa, dear William. I am
so glad to see you! Papa, I have been--I fear I have been--but, indeed,
I remember when I dreaded as much. My heart, my heart is heavy when I
think of all the grief and affliction I must have occasioned you; but
you will all forgive your poor Jane, for you know she would not do so
if she could avoid it. Papa, how pale and careworn you look! as, indeed,
you all do. Oh, God help me. I see, I see--I read on your sorrowful
faces the history of all you have suffered on my account.”
They all cherished, and petted, and soothed the sweet creature; and,
indeed, rejoiced over her as if she had been restored to them from the
dead.
“Papa, would you get me the Bible,” she continued. “I wish if possible
to console you and the rest; and mamma, you will think when I am gone of
that which I am about to show you; think of it all of you, for indeed an
early death is sometimes a great blessing to those who are taken away.
Alas! who can say when it is not?”
They assisted her to sit up in the bed, and after turning over the
leaves of the Bible, she read in a voice of low impressive melody the
first verse of the fifty-seventh chapter of Isaiah.
“The righteous perisheth, and no man taketh it to heart; and merciful
men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away
from the evil to come. He SHALL ENTER INTO PEACE.”
“Oh! many a death,” she continued, “is wept for and lamented by friends
and relatives, who consider not that those for whom they weep may be
taken away from the evil to come. I feel that I am unable to speak much,
but it is your Jane’s request, that the consolation to be found, not
only in this passage, but in this book, may be applied to your hearts
when I am gone.”
This effort, slight as it was, enfeebled her much, and she lay silent
for some time; and such was their anxiety, neither to excite nor
disturb her, that although their hearts were overflowing they restrained
themselves, so far as to permit no startling symptoms of grief to be
either seen or heard. After a little time, however, she spoke again:---
“My poor bird,” said she, “I fear I have neglected it. Dear Agnes would
you let me see it--I long to see it.” Agnes in a few minutes returned
and placed the bird in her bosom. She caressed it for a short time, and
then looking at it earnestly said--
“Is it possible, that you too, my Ariel, are drooping?”
This indeed was true. The bird had been for some time past as feeble
and delicate as if its fate were bound up with that of its unhappy
mistress--whether it was that the sight of it revived some recollection
that disturbed her, or whether this brief interval of reason was as much
as exhausted nature could afford on one occasion, it is difficult to
say; but the fact is, that after looking on it for some time, she put
her hand to her bosom and asked, “Where, where is the letter?”
“What letter, my darling?” said her father.
“Is not Charles unhappy and dying?” she said.
“He is ill, my love,” said her father, “but not dying, we trust.”
“It is not here,” she said, searching her bosom, “it is not here--but it
matters nothing now--it was a message of death, and the message has been
delivered. Sorrow--sorrow--sorrow--how beautiful is that word--there is
but one other in the language that surpasses it, and that is mourn. Oh!
how beautiful is that too--how delicately expressive. Weep is violent;
but mourn, the graduated tearless grief that wastes gently--that
disappoints death, for we die not but only cease to be. I am the star
of sorrow, pale and mournful in the lonely sky--well, that is one
consolation--when I set I shall set in heaven.”
They knew by experience that any attempt at comfort would then produce
more evil than good. For near two hours she uttered to herself in a low
chant, “I am the star of sorrow, etc.,” after which she sank as before
into a profound slumber.
Her intervals of reason, as death approached, were mercifully extended.
Whilst they lasted, nothing could surpass the noble standard of
Christian duty by which her feelings and moral sentiments were
regulated. For a fortnight after this, she sank with such a certain
but imperceptible approximation towards death that the eyes even of
affection could, scarcely notice the gradations of its approach.
During this melancholy period, her father was summoned upon an occasion
which was strongly calculated to try the sincerity of his Christian
professions. Not a day passed that he did not forget his own sorrows,
and the reader knows how heavily they pressed upon him--in order to
prepare the mind of his daughter’s destroyer for the awful change
which death was about to open upon his soul. He reasoned--he prayed--he
wept--he triumphed--yes, he triumphed, nor did he ever leave the
death-bed of Charles Osborne, until he had succeeded in fixing his heart
upon that God “who willeth not the death of a sinner.”
A far heavier trial upon the Christian’s fortitude, however, was soon to
come upon him. Jane, as the reader knows, was now at the very portals of
heaven. For hours in the day--she was perfectly rational; but again she
would wander into her chant of sorrow,--as much from weakness as from
the original cause of her malady; for upon this it is difficult if not
impossible to determine.
On the last evening, however, that her father ever attended Charles
Osborne, he came home as usual, and was about to inquire how Jane felt,
when Maria come to him with eyes which weeping had made red, and said--
“Oh papa--I fear--we all fear, that--I cannot utter it--I cannot--I
cannot--Oh papa, at last the hour we fear is come.”
“Remember, my child, that you are speaking,” said this heroic Christian,
“remember that you are speaking to a Christian father, who will not set
up his affections, nor his weaknesses, nor his passions against the will
of God.”
“Oh! but papa--Jane, Jane”--she burst into bitter tears for more than a
minute, and then added--“Jane, papa, is dying--leaving us at last!”
“Maria,” said he, calmly, “leave me for some minutes. You know not, dear
child, what my struggles have been. Leave me now--this is the trial I
fear--and now must I, and so must you all--but now must I----Oh, leave
me, leave me.”
He knelt down and prayed; but in less than three, minutes, Agnes,
armed with affection--commanding and absolute it was from that loving
sister--came to him.
She laid her hand upon his arm, and pressed it. “Papa!”--
“I know it,” said he, “she is going; but, Agnes, we must be Christians.”
“We must be sisters, papa; and ah, papa, surely, surely this is a moment
in which the father may forget the Christian. Jesus wept for a stranger;
what would He not have done for a brother or a sister?”
“Agnes, Agnes,” said he, in a tone of sorrow, inexpressibly deep, “is
this taxing me with want of affection for--for--”
She flung herself upon his breast. “Oh, papa, forgive me, forgive me--I
am not capable of appreciating the high and holy principles from which
you act. Forgive me; and surely if you ever forgave me on any occasion,
you will on this.”
“Dear Agnes,” said he, “you scarcely ever required my forgiveness, and
less now than! ever--even if you had. Come--I will go; and may the Lord
support and strengthen us all! Your mother--our poor mother!”
On entering the room of the dying girl, they found her pale cheek laid
against that of her other parent, whose arms were about her, as if
she would hold them in love and tenderness for ever. When she saw them
approach, she raised her head feebly, and said--“Is that my papa? my
beloved papa?” The old man raised his eyes once more to heaven for
support--but for upwards of half a minute the muscles of his face worked
with power that evinced the full force of what he suffered--
“I am here, I am here,” he at length said, with difficulty.
“And that is Agnes?” she inquired. “Agnes, come near me; and do not be
angry, dear Agnes that I die on mamma’s bosom and not on yours.”
Agnes could only seize her pale hand and bathe it in tears. “Angry with
you--you living angel--oh, who ever was, or could be, my sister!”
“You all love me too much,” she said. “Maria, it grieves me to see your
grief so excessive--William, oh why, why will you weep so? Is it because
I am about to leave the pains and sorrows of this unhappy life, and; to
enter into peace, that you all grieve thus bitterly. Believe me--and I
know this will relieve my papa’s heart--and all your hearts--will it not
yours, my mamma?--it is this--your Jane, your own Jane is not afraid to
die. Her hopes are fixed on the Rock of Ages--the Rock of her salvation.
I know, indeed, that my brief existence has been marked at its close
with care and sorrow; but these cares and sorrows have brought me the
sooner to that place where all tears shall be wiped from my eyes. Let my
fate, too, be a warning to young creatures like myself, never to suffer
their affection for any object to overmaster their sense and their
reason. I cherished the passion of my heart too much, when I ought to
have checked and restrained it--and now, what is the consequence? Why,
that I go down in the very flower of my youth to an early grave.”
Agnes caught the dear girl’s hands when she had concluded, and looking
with a breaking heart into her face, said--
“And oh, my sister, my sister, are you leaving us--are you leaving
us for ever, my sister? Life will be nothing to me, my Jane, without
you--how, how will your Agnes live?”
“I doubt we are only disturbing--our cherished one,” said her father.
“Let our child’s last moments be calm--and her soul--oh let it not be
drawn back from its hopes, to this earth and its affections.”
“Papa, pray for me, and they will join with you--pray for your poor Jane
while it is yet time--the prayer of the righteous availeth much.”
Earnest, indeed, and melancholy, was that last prayer offered up on
behalf of the departing girl. When it was concluded there was a short
silence, as if they wished not to break in upon what they considered the
aspirations of the dying sufferer. At length the mother thought she
felt her child’s cheek press against her own with a passive weight that
alarmed her.
“Jane, my love,” said she, “do you not feel your soul refreshed by your
father’s prayer?”
No answer was returned to this, and on looking more closely at her
countenance of sorrow, they found that her gentle spirit had risen on
the incense of her father’s prayer to heaven. The mother clasped her
hands, whilst the head of her departed daughter still lay upon her
bosom.
“Oh God! oh God!” said she, “our idol is gone--is gone!”
“Gone!” exclaimed the old man; “now, oh Lord, surely--surely the
father’s grief may be allowed,” and he burst, as he spoke, into a
paroxysm of uncontrollable sorrow.
“And what am I to do--who am--oh woe--woe--who was her mother?”
To the scene that ensued, what pen could do justice--we cannot,
and consequently leave it to the imagination of our readers, whose
indulgence we crave for our many failures and errors in the conduct of
this melancholy story.
Thus passed the latter days of the unhappy Jane Sinclair, of whose
life nothing more appropriate need be said, than that which she herself
uttered immediately before her death:
“Let my fate be a warning to young creatures like myself, never to
suffer their affection for any object to overmaster their sense and
their reason. I cherished the passion of my heart too much, when I ought
to have checked and restrained it--and now, what is the consequence?
Why, that I go down in the very flower of my youth to an early grave.”
On the day after her dissolution, an incident occurred, which threw the
whole family into renewed sorrow:--Early that morning, Ariel, her dove,
was found dead upon her bosom, as she lay out in the composure of death.
“Remove it not,” said her father; “it shall be buried with her;” and it
was accordingly placed upon her bosom in the coffin.
Seldom was a larger funeral train seen, than that which attended her
remains to the grave-yard; and rarely was sorrow so deeply felt for any
being so young and so unhappy, as that which moved all hearts for the
fate of the beautiful but unfortunate Jane Sinclair--the far-famed Fawn
of Springvale.
One other fact we have to record: Jane’s funeral had arrived but a
few minutes at the grave, when another funeral train appeared slowly
approaching the place of death. It was that of Charles Osborne!
The last our readers may have anticipated. From the day of Jane’s death
the heart of the old man gradually declined. He looked about him in vain
for his beloved one. Night and day her name was never out of his mouth.
It is true he prayed, he read, he availed himself of all that the pious
exercises of a Christian man could contribute to the alleviation of his
sorrow. But it was in vain. In vain did his wife, son, and daughters
strive to soothe and console him. The old man’s heart was broken. His
beloved one was gone, and he felt that he could not remain behind her.
A gradual decay of bodily strength, and an utter breaking down of his
spirits, brought about the consummation which they all dreaded. At the
expiration of four months and a half, the old man was laid in the same
grave that contained his beloved one--and he was happy.