_I Hear Again from Winwood._
Meanwhile we passed through a time of deep sorrow at the Faringfield
house and ours. The effect of Tom's untimely fate, coming upon
Margaret's departure and the disclosures regarding her and Ned, was
marked in Mr. Faringfield by a haggardness of countenance, an averted
glance, a look of age, pitiful to see. His lady considered herself
crushed by affliction, as one upon whom grief had done its worst; and
she resigned herself to the rôle of martyr in the comfortably
miserable way that some people do, without losing her appreciation of
the small consolations of life, such as morning chocolate, afternoon
tea, and neighbourly conversation upon the subject of her woes. Poor
Fanny bore up for the sake of cheering her parents, but her face, for
a long time, was rarely without the traces of tears shed in solitude.
Of that household of handsome, merry children, whose playful shouts
had once filled the mansion and garden with life, she was now the only
one left. I sighed to think that my chances of taking her away from
that house were now reduced to the infinitesimal. Her parents, who had
brought into the world so promising a family, to find themselves now
so nearly alone, must not be left entirely so: such would be her
answer to any pleas I might in my selfishness offer.
What a transformation had been wrought in that once cheerful
household! How many lives were darkened!--Mr. Faringfield's, his
wife's, Fanny's, Philip's (when he should know), Madge's (sooner or
later), the sympathetic Cornelius's, my mother's, my own. And what a
promising, manly, gentle life had been cut short in its earliest
bloom! I knew that Tom's life alone had been worth a score of lives
like Captain Falconer's. And the cause of all this, though Margaret
was much to blame, was the idle resolve of a frivolous lady-killer to
add one more conquest to his list, in the person of a woman for whom
he did not entertain more than the most superficial feelings. What a
sacrifice had been made for the transient gratification of a
stranger's vanity! What bitter consequences, heartrending separations,
had come upon all of us who had lived so close together so many
pleasant years, through the careless self-amusement of a chance
interloper whose very name we had not known six months before!
And now, the pleasure-seeker's brief pastime in that quarter being
ended, the lasting sorrows of his victims having begun; his own career
apparently not altered from its current, their lives diverted rudely
into dark channels and one of them stopped short for ever: was the
matter to rest so?
You may easily guess what my answer was to this question. When I
pondered on the situation, I no longer found Captain Falconer a hard
man to hate. The very lightness of his purpose, contrasted with the
heaviness of its consequences, aggravated his crime. To risk so much
upon other people, to gain so little for himself, was the more heinous
sin than its converse would have been. That he might not have foreseen
the evil consequences made possible, was no palliation: he ought to
have examined the situation; or indeed he ought to have heeded what he
must have known, that little offences may always entail dire evils.
Measured by their possibility to work havoc with lives, there are no
_small_ sins. The man who enters carelessly upon a trivial deviation
is therefore as much to be held responsible as he that walks
deliberately into the blackest crime. Not to know this, is not to have
studied life; and not to have studied life is, in a person of mature
years, a mighty sin of omission, because of the great evils that may
arise from ignorance. But Captain Falconer must have known life, must
have seen the hazards of his course. Therefore he was responsible in
any view; and therefore I would do my utmost toward exacting payment
from him. Plainly, in Philip's absence, the right fell to me, as his
friend and Tom's--nay, too, as the provisionally accepted husband of
Mr. Faringfield's second daughter.
But before I got an opportunity to make a quarrel with Falconer (who
had moved his quarters from the Faringfield house, wherein he had not
slept or eaten since the night of Margaret's leaving it, though he had
spent some time in his rooms there on the ensuing day) I had a curious
interview with Mr. Faringfield.
While in the town one day, I had stopped as usual to see my mother.
Just as I was about to remount my horse, Mr. Faringfield appeared at
his garden gate. Beckoning me to him, he led the way into the garden,
and did not stop until we were behind a fir-tree, where we could not
be seen from the house.
"Tell me the truth," said he abruptly, his eyes fixed piercingly upon
mine, "how Tom met his death."
After a moment's confusion, I answered:
"I can add nothing to what has been told you, sir."
He looked at me awhile in silence; then said, with a sorrowful frown:
"I make no doubt you are tongue-tied by a compact. But you need not
fear me. The British authorities are not to be moved by any complaint
of mine. My object is not to procure satisfaction for my son's death.
I merely wish to know whether he took it upon himself to revenge our
calamities; and whether that was not the true cause of his death."
"Why, sir," I said awkwardly, as he still held me in a searching gaze
that seemed to make speech imperative, "how should you think that?"
"From several things. In the first place, I know Tom was a lad of
mettle. The account of the supposed attack that night, has it that
Falconer was in your party; he was one of those who returned with you.
What would Tom have been doing in Falconer's society, when not under
orders, after what had occurred? Other people, who know nothing of
that occurrence, would see nothing strange in their being together.
But I would swear the boy was not so lost to honourable feeling as to
have been Falconer's companion after what had taken place here."
"'Twas no loss of honourable feeling that made him Falconer's
companion!" said I, impulsively.
"Then," cried he, quickly, with eagerness in his voice, "'twas to
fight Falconer?"
"I didn't say that."
"Thank God, then, if he had to die, 'twas not as that man's friend,
but his antagonist! My poor, brave Tom! My noble boy! Oh, would I had
known him better while he lived!"
"He was all that is chivalrous and true, sir."
"I wanted only this assurance. I felt it in my heart. Don't fear my
betraying you; I understand how these affairs have to be managed at
such times. Alas, if I had but known in time to prevent! Well, well,
'tis too late now. But there is one person I must confide this
to--Philip."
"But I haven't told you anything, sir."
"Quite true; and therefore what I shall confide to Philip will not be
of your telling. He will be silent, too. We shall make no disclosures.
Falconer shall receive his punishment in another manner."
"He shall, sir," said I, with a positiveness which, in his feeling of
sorrow, and yet relief, to know that Tom had died as champion of the
family honour, escaped his notice. I thereupon took my leave.
As I afterward came to know, he sent Philip an account of the whole
lamentable affair, from Ned's reappearance to Tom's death; it was
written in a cipher agreed upon between the two, and 'twas carried by
Bill Meadows. Mr. Faringfield deemed it better that Philip should know
the whole truth from his relation, than learn of Madge's departure,
and Tom's fate, from other accounts, which must soon reach his ears in
any case.
I know not exactly how many days later it was, that, having a free
evening in the town, I went to the Faringfield house in hope of
bearing some cheer with me. But 'twas in vain. Mrs. Faringfield was
keeping her chamber, and requiring Fanny's attendance. Mr. Faringfield
sat in a painful reverie, before the parlour fire; scarce looked up
when I entered; and seemed to find the lively spirits I brought in
from the cold outer world, a jarring note upon his mood. He had not
ordered candles: the firelight was more congenial to his meditations.
Mr. Cornelius sat in a dark corner of the room, lending his silent
sympathy, and perhaps a fitting word now and then, to the merchant's
reflections.
Old Noah, the only servant I saw, reflected in his black face the
sorrow that had fallen on the home, and stepped with the tread of a
ghost. I soon took my leave, having so far failed to carry any
brightness into the stricken house, that I came away filled with a
sadness akin to its own. I walked forward aimlessly through the wintry
dusk, thinking life all sorrow, the world all gloom.
Suddenly the sound of laughter struck my ears. Could there indeed be
mirth anywhere--nay, so near at hand--while such woe dwelt in the
house I had left? The merriment seemed a violence, a sacrilege, an
insult. I looked angrily at the place whence the noise proceeded.
'Twas from the parlour of the King's Arms tavern--for, in my doleful
ponderings, my feet had carried me, scarce consciously, so far from
Queen Street. I peered in through the lighted window. A number of
officers were drinking, after dinner, at a large table, and 'twas the
noise of their boisterous gaiety that my unhappy feelings had so
swiftly resented.
While the merry fellows dipped their punch from the great bowl
steaming in the centre of the table, and laughed uproariously at the
story one was telling, I beheld in sharp contrast this jocund scene
and the sad one I had so recently looked upon. And, coming to observe
particulars, I suddenly noticed that the cause of all this laughter,
himself smiling in appreciation of his own story as he told it, his
face the picture of well-bred light-hearted mirth, was Captain
Falconer. And he was the cause of the other scene, the sorrow that
abode in the house I loved! The thought turned me to fire. I uttered a
curse, and strode into the tavern; rudely flung open the parlour door,
and stood in the presence of the laughing officers.
Falconer himself was the first to recognise me, though all had turned
to see who made so violent an entrance.
"Why, Russell," cried he, showing not a whit of ill-humour at the
interruption to his story, "this is a pleasure, by George! I haven't
seen you in weeks. Find a place, and dive into the punch. Ensign
Russell, gentlemen--if any of you haven't the honour already--and my
very good friend, too!"
"Ensign Russell," I assented, "but not your friend, Captain Falconer.
I desire no friends of your breed; and I came in here for the purpose
of telling you so, damn you!"
Falconer's companions were amazed, of course; and some of them looked
resentful and outraged, on his behalf. But the captain himself, with
very little show of astonishment, continued his friendly smile to me.
"Well acted, Russell," said he, in a tone so pleasant I had to tighten
my grip upon my resolution. "On my conscience, anybody who didn't know
us would never see your joke."
"Nor would anybody who did know us," I retorted. "If an affront before
all this company, purposely offered, be a joke, then laugh at this
one. But a man of spirit would take it otherwise."
"Sure the fellow means to insult you, Jack," said one of the officers
to Falconer.
"Thank you," said I to the officer.
"Why, Bert," said the captain, quickly, "you must be under some
delusion. Have you been drinking too much?"
"Not a drop," I replied. "I needn't be drunk, to know a scoundrel.
Come, sir, will you soon take offence? How far must I go?"
"By all that's holy, Jack," cried one of his friends, "if you don't
knock him down, I shall!"
"Ay, he ought to have his throat slit!" called out another.
"Nay, nay!" said Falconer, stopping with a gesture a general rising
from the table. "There is some mistake here. I will talk with the
gentleman alone. After you, sir." And, having approached me, he waited
with great civility, for me to precede him out of the door. I accepted
promptly, being in no mood to waste time in a contest of politeness.
"Now, lad, what in the name of heaven--" he began, in the most gentle,
indulgent manner, as we stood alone in the passage.
"For God's sake," I blurted irritably, "be like your countrymen in
there: be sneering, resentful, supercilious! Don't be so cursed
amiable--don't make it so hard for me to do this!"
"I supercilious! And to thee, lad!" he replied, with a reproachful
smile.
"Show your inward self, then. I know how selfish you are, how
unscrupulous! You like people for their good company, and their
admiration of you, their attachment to you. But you would trample over
any one, without a qualm, to get at your own pleasure or enrichment,
or to gratify your vanity."
He meditated for a moment upon my words. Then he said, good-naturedly:
"Why, you hit me off to perfection, I think. And yet, my liking for
some people is real, too. I would do much for those I like--if it cost
not too many pains, and required no sacrifice of pleasure. For you,
indeed, I would do a great deal, upon my honour!"
"Then do this," quoth I, fighting against the ingratiating charm he
exercised. "Grant me a meeting--swords or pistols, I don't care
which--and the sooner the better."
"But why? At least I may know the cause."
"The blight you have brought on those I love--but that's a cause must
be kept secret between us."
"Must I fight twice on the same score, then?"
"Why not? You fared well enough the first time. Tom fought on his
family's behalf. I fight on behalf of my friend--Captain Winwood.
Besides, haven't I given you cause to-night, before your friends in
there? If I was in the wrong there, so much the greater my offence.
Come--will you take up the quarrel as it is? Or must I give new
provocation?"
He sighed like a man who finds himself drawn into a business he would
have considerately avoided.
"Well, well," said he, "I can refuse you nothing. We can manage the
affair as we did the other, I fancy. It must be a secret, of
course--even from my friends in there. I shall tell them we have
settled our difference, and let them imagine what they please to. I'll
send some one to you--that arrangement will give you the choice of
weapons."
"'Tis indifferent to me."
"To me also. But I prefer you should have that privilege. I entreat
you will choose the weapons you are best at."
"Thank you. I shall expect to hear from you, then. Good-night!"
"Good-night! 'Tis a foggy evening. I wish you might come in and warm
yourself with a glass before you go; but of course--well, good-night!"
I went out into the damp darkness, thanking heaven the matter was
settled beyond undoing; and marvelling that exceptional, favoured
people should exist, who, thanks to some happy combination of
superficial graces, remain irresistibly likable despite all exposure
of the selfish vices they possess at heart.
But if my prospective opponent was one who could not be faced
antagonistically without a severe effort, the second whom he chose was
one against whose side I could fight with the utmost readiness, thanks
to the irritating power he possessed upon me. He was Lieutenant Chubb,
whom I had worsted in the affair to which I have alluded earlier,
which grew out of his assumption of superiority to us who were of
American birth. I had subjected this cock to such deference in my
presence, that he now rejoiced at what promised to be my defeat, and
his revenge by proxy, so great reliance he placed upon Captain
Falconer's skill with either sword or pistol. I chose the latter
weapon, however, without much perturbation, inwardly resolved that the
gloating Chubb should so far fail of his triumph, as to suffer a
second humiliation in the defeat of his principal. For my own second,
Lieutenant Berrian, of our brigade, did me the honour to go out with
me. A young New York surgeon, Doctor Williams, obliged us by assuming
the risk which it would have been too much to ask Doctor McLaughlin to
undertake a second time. At my desire, the place and hour set were
those at which Tom Faringfield had met his death. I felt that the
memory of his dying face would be strongest, there and then, to make
my arm and sight quick and sure.
A thaw had carried away much of the snow, and hence we had it not as
light as it had been for Tom's duel; although the moon made our
outlines and features perfectly distinct as we assembled in the
hollow, and it would make our pistol-barrels shine brightly enough
when the time came, as I ascertained by taking aim at an imaginary
mark.
Falconer and I stood each alone, while the seconds stepped off the
paces and the surgeon lighted a small lantern which might enable him
to throw, upon a possible wound, rays more to the purpose than the
moon afforded. I was less agitated, I think, than the doctor himself,
who was new to such an affair. I kept my mind upon the change wrought
in the Faringfield household, upon the fate of Tom, upon what I
imagined would be Philip's feelings; and I had a thought, too, for the
disappointment of my old enemy Chubb if I could cap the firing signal
with a shot the fraction of a second before my antagonist could. We
were to stand with our backs toward each other, at the full distance,
and, upon the word, might turn and fire as soon as possible. To be the
first in wheeling round upon a heel, and covering the foe, was my one
concern, and, as I took my place, I dismissed all else from my mind,
to devote my entire self, bodily and mental, to that one series of
movements: all else but one single impression, and that was of
malicious exultation upon the face of Chubb.
"You'll smile on t'other side of your face in a minute," thought I,
pressing my teeth together.
I was giving my hand its final adjustment to the pistol, when suddenly
a man dashed out of the covert at one side of the hollow, and ran
toward us, calling out in a gruff voice:
"Hold on a minute. Here's su'thin' fur you, Ensign Russell."
We had all turned at the first sound of the man's tread, fearing we
had been spied upon and discovered. But I now knew there was no danger
of that kind, for the voice belonged to old Bill Meadows.
"What do you mean?" I asked sharply, annoyed at the interruption.
"Nothin'. Read this here. I've follered yuh all evenin', thinkin' to
ketch yuh alone. I gev my word to get it to yuh, fust thing; an' fur
my own sake, I tried to do it unbeknownst. But now I must do it anyhow
I ken. So take it, an' my compliments, an' I trust yuh to keep mum an'
ask no questions, an' furget 'twas me brung it. And I'll keep a shet
mouth about these here goings on. Only read it now, fur God's sake."
He had handed me a sealed letter. My curiosity being much excited, I
turned to Falconer, and said:
"Will you grant me permission? 'Twill take but a moment."
"Certainly," said he.
"Ay," added Chubb, against all the etiquette of the situation, "it can
be allowed, as you're not like to read any more letters."
I tore it open, disdaining to reply in words to a gratuitous taunt I
could soon answer by deed. The doctor having handed me his lantern, I
held it in one hand, the letter in the other. The writing was that of
Philip Winwood, and the letter read as follows:
"DEAR BERT:--I have learned what sad things have befallen. You
will easily guess my informant; but I know you will not use your
knowledge of my communication therewith, to the detriment
thereof. And I am sure that, since I ask it, you will not betray
(or, by any act or disclosure, imperil or hamper) the messenger
who brings this at risk of his life; for the matter is a private
one.
"Pondering upon all that has occurred, I am put in a fear of your
forgetting whose right it is to avenge it, and of your taking
that duty to yourself, which belongs by every consideration to
me. This is to beg, therefore, that you will not forestall me;
that while I live you will leave this matter to me, at whatsoever
cost though it be to your pride and your impatience. Dear Bert, I
enjoin you, do not usurp my prerogative. By all the ties between
us, past and to come, I demand this of you. _The man is mine to
kill_. Let him wait my time, and I shall be the more, what I long
have been, Ever thine,
"PHILIP."
I thought over it for a full minute. He asked of me a grievous
disappointment; nay, something of a humiliation, too, so highly had I
carried myself, so triumphant had my enemy Chubb become in
anticipation, so derisive would he be in case of my withdrawal.
If I receded, Chubb would have ground to think the message a device to
get me out of a peril at the last moment, after I had pretended to
face it so intrepidly thereunto. For I could not say what my letter
contained, or who it was from, without betraying Meadows and perhaps
Mr. Faringfield, which both Philip's injunction and my own will
prohibited my doing. Thus, I hesitated awhile before yielding to
Philip what he claimed so rightly as his own. But I am glad I had the
courage to face Chubb's probable suspicions and possible contempt.
"Gentlemen," said I, folding up the letter for concealment and
preservation, "I am very sorry to have brought you out here for
nothing. I must make some other kind of reparation to you, Captain
Falconer. I can't fight you."
There was a moment's pause; during which Lieutenant Chubb looked from
me to his principal, with a mirthful grin, as much as to say I was a
proven coward after all my swagger. But the captain merely replied:
"Oh, let the matter rest as it is, then. I'm sorry I had to disappoint
a lady, to come out here on a fool's errand, that's all."
He made that speech with intention, I'm sure, by way of revenge upon
me, though doubtless 'twas true enough; for he must have known how it
would sting a man who thought kindly of Madge Faringfield. It was the
first cutting thing I had ever heard him say; it showed that he was no
longer unwilling to antagonise me; it proved that he, too, could throw
off the gentleman when he chose: and it made him no longer difficult
for me to hate.