"Absit, quoth the doctor."
DON QUIXOTE.
Upon arriving at the little town of Boston, Arundel made the Indian
promise to return to him at the ordinary or inn where he had his
quarters, after the furs and venison should be disposed of. Waqua was
glad to make the promise, and the two separated; the one, directing
his steps towards his lodging; and the other, to seek a purchaser for
his commodities. Arundel was anxious to express his gratitude, and,
besides, was interested by the talk of the child of the forest; while
Waqua, on his part, was evidently disposed to meet any advances.
Eleazar Nettles, the worthy host of the Ship-tavern, who Stood at the
door of the low rambling building, welcomed his lodger with all the
cordiality he could throw into a face originally not ill-looking or
unpleasing, but which, in consequence of practising an appearance of
mortification, (in order to stand well with the grave citizens), which
neither belonged to the calling wherein he was engaged, nor by nature
to itself, seemed an odd mixture of earthly depravity and of heavenly
grace. Not that Eleazar was a bad fellow. Nature had originally
enclosed in his dumpy body a good-humoured soul enough, and, in a less
austere community, where the bent of his disposition might have had
fair play, he would have been a rather jolly dog. He was, however, a
victim of fate. By what disastrous chance his lot was cast in that
grim-visaged region, has never been satisfactorily explained, but
being once in it, and a publican by profession, it was necessary to
conform to the habits and manners of those about him, unless he
desired to see his license taken away, and himself a suspected person,
as well as without employment. These prudential considerations
contending with Eleazar's nature, had sobered the otherwise mirthful
features of his face, and made him present the appearance of a merry
and a sad man rolled into one, each striving for the mastery, and each
alternately achieving victory, according to circumstances. The merry
man was safe in the presence of Arundel, and, therefore, his mouth
dissolved into a pleasant chuckle as he welcomed him.
"It is a joy and an honor, Master Arundel," he said, "to see again a
discreet young gentleman like yourself, whose spirits--ahem!--are
lively as my own ale, and yet chastised by a godly 'havior. You must
have had something of a walk this morning. What refreshment may it
please you to take?"
While uttering this speech, he had been busy ushering into the tap or
common reception room the young man, who, by the time it was finished,
was seated.
"Thy guess hits the mark, mine host," he said? "but what is fitting I
leave to thy discretion. Thou shalt prescribe like a physician."
"Thou art a sweet-tempered gentleman, and easily satisfied," answered
the host, "and I should be no better than a heathen salvage to abuse
thy goodness. To begin, I have some of the famosest malt liquor that
ever ran down throat with a relish."
"Avaunt, with thy detestable malt liquors. You inveigled me once into
tasting the decoction, and methinks that should satisfy thee, if not
me. Thou wilt hardly succeed a second time. It will never do. Thy
cellar contains something better, to my knowledge."
"As you say," replied the landlord, (whose habit was to recommend his
ale to those who he knew would not take it, in order, perhaps, to make
his wines taste the better, by consideration of the contrast)--"as you
say, Master Arundel, my malt liquor, though the best in the country,
is not for high-bred gentlemen like yourself. I have Spanish wines,
and French wines, and wines from Italy, and from the Canaries, and"--
"Any will do," said Arundel, knowing that a single kind was made to
play the part of vintages from all parts of the world; "so be prompt,
good man, for my thirst increases."
While the publican, whose business was not sufficiently large to
warrant him to employ a tapster, was absent, Arundel looked round the
apartment to see what company was present. At no great distance from
where he sat were half-a-dozen persons, some of whom, by their dress,
seemed to be sailors, and others citizens. As he turned to look at
them, two or three, who were his acquaintances, saluted him; and the
conversation, which his entrance had a little interrupted, flowed
again with a full current.
"A queer bit of a town, good-man Fairweather, the saints have built up
for themselves," exclaimed a man in a sailor's jacket. "Do you know
what it looks like to me?"
"How should I know, Capt. Sparhawk, how Boston looks to you?" answered
the man addressed.
"That depends upon the strength of the liquor, methinks," said a
third.
"That answer, Billy Pantry," said the Captain, "for a lubber that
knows not the difference between the futtock shrouds and Jacob's
ladder, and whose head is so little and his paunch so big, is what my
old schoolmaster called a Lucy--Lucy--damn the other part of the
name--there I miss stays, by Neptune!--anyhow, it begun with a Nat,
but there was more of it."
"Natwood," suggested Billy Pantry. "I know a Polly Natwood in Suffolk,
one of the completest wenches"--
"If she was not completer than thy wit," interrupted the Captain, "her
figure-head was left unfinished. But, avast there; we are drifting off
soundings. Where was I? Aye; belay, I have it. I was telling you what
your beggarly town looks like."
"Aye, but about Lucy," said another, who had not spoken before, and
whose perception looked dimly out of his hazy eyes! "I should like to
hear first about her. I always liked the women."
"Hear old Wheat," cried the Captain--"the wicked villain. All the
knowledge he has of the women, I'll be qualified on the main brace, is
what he got from Betty Quickfist when she hit him a cuff on the ear
for his impudence, and twisted it out o' shape, as ye may see without
taking a quadrant for the observation."
"Why," said Billy Pantry, turning his mess-mate's head about, "his two
ears are much alike, and, as you say, Captain, lop damnably; so he
must have caught it on both of them, though this one here, away to
windward, looks as if it had been cut off and stuck on again."
"Shut up your duff-trap," said Wheat, gruffly, "or I'll send your
teeth on a cruise down your throat."
"Come, come," cried the Captain, "I choose to do all the quarreling
for this company. How now, my masters, is there to be no discipline
when my foot is off the quarter-deck? If another man speaks above his
breath, by the beard of father Neptune, I will stop his grog. Where
was I? Let me take the latitude once more. Aye, here away bearing up
to tell how I liked this prig of a town."
"Blast my tarry top-lights and to'gallant eyebrows. Do you call this a
town?" demanded Bill. "Folk does not call a thing like this a town in
old Hingland."
"Aye, old England forever," cried the Captain, standing up. "Boys,
fill your cups all round, and we will drink a health to our dear old
mammy."
"I should like to pleasure you, Captain," said one of the citizens,
"and will drink in all reason till sundown, but there is a law against
drinking healths."
"I suppose there will be a law next," exclaimed the Captain, "against
eating, and that will finish the job. The rest of you may do as you
like, but Jack Sparhawk never yet was afraid of any man, and is not
going now to strike his peak to Admiral Winthrop. So here's a toast
for ye:
"Prosperity to England's friends!
Perdition to her foes!
Heaven to herself! to hell she sends
All Spaniards and Crapeaua!"
Saying this, he drained his cup. "And now, boys, about this little
starched old maid of a town--"
"There you are, in a fog, Captain," interrupted Pantry. "How can it be
an old maid, when, on every tack, half a dozen children, like so many
porpoises, come across your bows?"
"Any wit but thine own would easily box that compass," answered the
Captain. "But talking is thirsty business, and we will have up another
bottle. Halloa, old Nettletop, bear a hand with some more of your
weak-waters. What do you stand gaping there for, like a chicken with
the pip? Off with you. And now, while old Thistle is rummaging the
locker, I will give you my mind about this matter of--"
But, alas! an incident now occurred which has deprived posterity
forever of the invaluable opinion of Captain Sparhawk respecting the
appearance of Boston in 16--, and of his explanation of the phenomenon
suggested by Bill.
Some five or ten minutes before, a grave looking personage, with a
long staff in his hand, had stolen quietly into the room, unnoticed by
any one but Arundel--the landlord being absent at the time--and taken
a seat where he could overhear the conversation. Upon mine host's
return, and noticing the stranger, he exhibited some embarrassment,
and endeavored to catch the attention of the drinking party without
attracting that of the new comer. His efforts, however, were in vain,
and assuming an air of deep mortification, he waited for what should
happen. Upon being required by the Captain to supply more wine, he had
shaken his head, which it seems was not taken much notice of by the
sailor, and was preparing to reply, when he was anticipated by the
stranger. Lifting up his staff, and pointing with it at the table, he
said,
"Furnish no more strong liquor, good man Nettles, to these carousers.
Methinks they have already had more than enough for their souls' or
bodies' health."
"I will not gainsay thee, master Prout," said the host, "and will
obey, as becometh a man who respects Thee and thine office; but the
wine is good and can do no harm, as thou mayest convince thyself by
trial. I will pour thee out a cup."
"Nay," said Master Prout, "I need it not. I do stand amazed," he
added, bending his brows severely on the host, "that, a man professing
godliness, and one of the congregation, shouldst administer to the
carnal appetite till the graceless sinner is converted into a swine."
"Dear Master Prout, be not so hard on a friend. I knew not the
strength of my wine, or that these strangers were so unaccustomed to
drinking. The wine hath been but lately bought, being part of the
cargo of the Abstemious, and thou knowest I A indulge not, else I
should have been acquainted with its potency, and regulated things
accordingly. But thou seest the six have drunk only so many poor
bottles."
"Enough, goodman Nettles," answered Prout. "Remove, now, these
incitements to temptation, and after that will I drop a word of
friendly advisement into the ears of these offenders."
During this conversation a profound silence had prevailed at the
table--the three citizens recognising in the intruder one whose
authority it would be folly to resist, and the sailors apparently
confounded at the boldness of the interference, and curious to hear
what should pass between the landlord and his dictatorial visitor. But
when mine host, in obedience to an order from the latter, began to
take away the bottles and cups, Captain Sparhawk, who had sat leaning
on his elbow upon the table and eyeing the two, now seemed to think
that his dignity required some interference on his part.
"How now, my masters," he exclaimed. "What coil is this? Are we to be
boarded in this piratical way, and see all our stores and, provisions
captured without a blow? Run up the red cross, Wheat. Call all hands
to repel boarders, and follow me."
"Cease thy papistical babble; it doth vex my soul more even than thy
drunkenness," cried Master Prout.
"Papist in thy teeth and drunkenness to boot," exclaimed the excited
captain, at the same time striking at Master Prout, who, however,
easily eluded the blow of the intoxicated man.
The other two sailors now manifested some intention of coming to the
assistance of their superior, but were held back by the citizens, and
restrained, moreover, by a knowledge of the formidable power of Master
Prout, who was well known as a sort of censor or guardian of the
morals of the place, appointed by the magistrates.
"Keep quiet, man," said Prout, pushing the obstreperous captain back
into his seat, "or thy mazzard and my staff may become better
acquainted than will be altogether agreeable. Do thou hold him, good
man Nettles, as being in some wise accountable for his condition. So
shalt thou, also, partake of the savory crumbs of advice which it is
my intention to bestow on this man of Belial and his companions."
Master Prout, thereupon drawing a chair, placed it immediately in
front of the captain, and seated himself, while mine host held the
delinquent fast. The functionary paid no attention whatever to the
exclamations and ejaculations of the sailor, which, furious at first,
gradually died away until they ceased entirely, but went on steadily
with his speech.
"Thou art a stranger," he said, "and therefore am I the more disposed
to overlook thy transgression, seeing that thou art not acquainted
with the manners of the godly town of Boston, and art not yet prepared
to realize thy privilege in being permitted to visit it. Moreover, I
see by thy garments and speech that thou art one of those who go down
to the sea in ships, and who, though they behold the wonders of the
deep, are, for the most part, unaffected by the mighty works of Him at
whose word the stormy wind ariseth, or at His rebuke chasteneth itself
into a calm. But thou art a man having within thee an immortal soul,
and my spirit is troubled exceedingly, and my bowels are like to burst
within me, when I behold thee given over to folly. Hearken thou, for
my lips shall utter judgment, and thine ears shall drink in
understanding.
"Behold here, in this Boston, have godly fugitives from oppression,
men whose faces are set as steel against all evil, set up their
habitations, to be an enduring city unto the Lord; and, within our
borders, may no scoffer or profane person, as was Esau, nor riotous
liver, abide. But the necessities of our position do in some wise
constrain us, for trade and other useful purposes, to allow
communication with them who are not of our way of thinking. Therefore
do we grant unto them free entrance, for a time, into our Canaan,
sobeit they observe the limits of decent moderation, and vex not our
souls beyond Christian patience, hoping, moreover, that, seeing our
righteous example, they may be converted from their evil ways, and
trusting that the Lord will preserve us from defilement. But we hold
not ourselves bound to tolerate rioting and drunkenness, which are not
convenient, but contrariwise, to restrain them by the sword of the
magistrate, if need be. Of both these thou art, unhappily, guilty,
inasmuch as thou didst forget where thou art, and wert mindful only of
the customs of thy heathen companions at home; and were I extreme to
mark what is done amiss, surely thy punishment were heavy. But this is
thy first offence, and I hope will be thy last; therefore say I unto
thee, go and sin no more, especially as thy fault is not of public
notoriety, and goodman Nettles and thy friends, for their own sakes
and this good youth (turning to Arundel) and myself, to avoid scandal,
will keep silence thereupon. I pass over thy rude and silly speeches
as proceeding not from thyself, but from the evil spirit of wine that
mastered and made a fool of thee. Henceforward, while remembering our
mercy, dread our justice, shouldst thou be tempted a second time to
offend."
Having thus spoken, Master Prout rose, and deliberately clapping his
steeple-crowned hat upon his head, stalked demurely out of the
apartment, satisfied that after his rebuke the company would be unable
to obtain any more strong potations. In this supposition he was
perfectly correct--goodman Nettles too thoroughly understanding his
own interest and the character of the man to venture to disobey him;
for though Master Prout felt friendly to the publican, as was evident,
there were some things he would not overlook, and no offence could be
committed more heinous than disregarding his orders. Captain Sparhawk,
who toward the close of the Puritan's address, had been subdued into a
most unwilling silence, manifested, as soon as it was finished, a
desire to reply; but the host placed his hand on the recusant's mouth,
and compelled him to be silent.
"Art mad?" he whispered. "Dost wish to ruin me, and have thine ears
nailed to the whipping-post, and perhaps cut off? Remember thou art at
Boston, and not in old England. Here, men drink in a godly manner, and
use the gifts of Providence as not abusing them; and not like blinded
papists, or as some say, like them of the Church of England; but I am
more liberal, as becomes one of my profession. Be thankful for the
clemency of Master Prout, a worthy man, and a considerate, whose
advice is like silver nails driven in by the master of assemblies."
Thus continued, in this strain, the astute landlord, until Master
Prout had left the house, and was out of hearing, when he released the
captain, and allowed him liberty of speech.
If the publican had expected a burst of angry language from the
sailor, he was agreeably disappointed. So far from venting his
feelings in that way, the worthy captain seemed now to consider all
that had happened as a capital joke, and broke out in a hearty laugh.
"Queer country, my men, this," he said, "where a meddlesome tipstaff
will not let a true-blooded Englishman pay toll to his Majesty's
excise. But old Sour-chops is gone, and we will have 'tother bottle
now to drink better manners to him; so bear a hand, Nettle, Thistle,
or whatever you call yourself."
"I dare not give you more wine for the present," said the host.
"Master Prout's authority is absolute in this matter, and not a drop
from spigot or bottle runs on your account. Be reasonable, noble
captain," he continued, seeing that the sailor was disposed to insist
on his demand, "and consider that in refusing thee, I do in some sort
prejudice myself for our mutual benefit."
Here the companions of the captain interfering, and the citizens, in
particular, insisting that on no account would they drink more, the
refractory Sparhawk, after some growls at the "queer country," was
obliged to submit, and soon after, paying the reckoning, took leave
with his company.
The scene was not altogether new to Arundel, who had looked on with
amused interest. It was not the first time when he had seen the
official in the exercise of his somewhat arbitrary authority, order
away, like the physician of Sancho Panza in his famous government of
Barrataria, the goblet, just as it was about to be carried to the lips
of the expecting guest. He had before laughed at the stare of
bewildered disappointment of the astonished toper, and the subdued
humor of Master Prout, hardly concealed by his austere exterior, but
he felt no disposition to censure the severity of the regulation. It
was of the utmost importance, as well for the peace and good order of
the colony, as in accordance with the principles of self-denial and
virtuous living on which it was founded, that every disorder should be
checked in the bud. Considering the variety of adventurers, of all
shades of character, from the religious enthusiast, seeking in unknown
regions, invested with strange charms by a heated imagination, the
kingdom of saints upon earth, which he had vainly hoped to erect in
the old world, down to the reckless freebooter, whose life had been
passed in wild indulgence, unrestrained by law, human or divine, whom
chance or design had thrown upon their coast, it is obvious that a
vigilant eye and strong hand were necessary to note and repress every
incipient sign of irregularity or turbulence.
Yet did the host sigh as he dropped into a seat at the departure of
the company. With one eye fixed upon a heavenly and the other on an
earthly treasure, he was counting up in his mind the crowns he had
lost by the intrusion of Master Prout, and at the same time lamenting
the depravity of men who could bear no more than a bottle of wine
apiece.
"Master Arundel," he said at length, "I do admire the wisdom--ahem--of
the worshipful magistrates in the care they take of the citizens and
visitors of our godly town. By the appointment of Master Prout to the
office which he doth sometimes exercise with somewhat of rigor, they
do, too, in a manner avouch the value of my calling, and their desire
to countenance it, and that in agreement with Scripture, for is it not
written that He hath given wine to gladden man's heart? Nevertheless,
methinks, being one of the congregation, a modicum might be left to
mine own judgment in regard to the capacity of my guests. Not that I
care about the two or three pieces whereof his interference hath
deprived me--ahem--but the feelings of godly men who know best what is
good for them, are hurt needlessly oftentimes. The wine is good, as
can be proved by our own virtuous citizens, who have not injured
themselves by early rioting, and are able, as a reward of their
youthful temperance, to drink twice as much as this Captain Sparhawk,
who hath probably, in a measure, injured his constitution by
indulgence in bad liquors. Man is truly a fallen creature," concluded
goodman Nettles, heaving a deep sigh,--"ahem--or such wine could never
affect him."
Arundel felt no inclination to discuss the subject, and soon retired
to his apartment.