His Grace of Beaufort had passed his word, as to the regular quarterly
payment of an allowance which Worcester stipulated should be paid me if
he left England; yet four months had now elapsed without my having been
able to obtain a single shilling from the duke, or even an answer to my
letters, in which I assured him that all my ready money was gone and
that I was entirely destitute of the means of existence.
The duke perhaps hoped to starve me into putting up with the first man I
could find; at all events, it was clear I might have starved, or begged,
or thrown myself into the streets, before he would have offered me the
least assistance while he could possibly have avoided it; and, in this
amiable conduct, I take it for granted he was upheld and encouraged by
his most interesting duchess.
I was now in debt a whole quarter for board and lodging. Never having
once doubted the duke's word of honour, conveyed to me by his man of
business in the presence of his son; and, being so far from London, I
sat down to consider whom I could possibly consult in that part of the
world, as to what was to become of me.
The only person in my neighbourhood, whose face I had ever seen before,
was an old, cracked sort of a general, his name I have forgotten. I
never had but a mere bowing acquaintance with him, from the circumstance
of his being my next door neighbour in London, where he bore the
character of a terrible deceiver of maids and maid-servants! In short,
I do not believe there was a single girl of that description within two
miles of us, with whom he had not scraped a kind of acquaintance.
I remember a worthy clergyman who was also my near neighbour, took this
gay Lothario's meddling with his maid very much amiss, and consequently
addressed to him the following note, which he afterwards insisted on my
reading one day when I met him in the Regent's Park, and had been myself
reproaching him with his evil ways.
"SIR,--I presume that you cannot wish to interfere with the
domestic comforts of your neighbours. I have to request therefore
that you never again to the latest hour of your life, carry your
libertinism to such an extent as to meddle with my maidservant.
"I remain, Sir,
"Your most obedient servant."
The old general's answer was expressed in these words.
"SIR, Respect for your cloth will prevent my having the
pleasure of blowing out your brains for your impertinence.
"In answer to your letter, then, I have to inform you, that
I neither want your man-servant, your maid-servant, your ox, your
ass, nor anything that is yours, and remain,
"Your most obedient servant."
"What do you think of this, Samuel?" said the worthy divine to his tall
unlicked cub of a son, in cotton stockings and thick shoes, handing him
the above epistle, after he had perused it three times over in silent
astonishment.
"Think of it!" said the son, as soon as he had looked it over, "think of
it, sir?"
"Aye! What may be your serious thoughts of it?" continued the parson.
"Why, sir,--Why, sir," swelling with rage, "why--sir--d--- his
impudence!"
"For shame, Samuel, don't swear."
"Swear, sir? Don't tell me! this ought to make a parson swear."
Samuel snatched up his hat and ran out of the house.
In about two hours afterwards, as the old, impudent, Irish, cracked
general was finishing his dinner at his own lodgings, in strutted Mr.
Samuel, foaming with rage.
"Your most obedient," said the general.
"Sir," answered Samuel, "I am no parson, therefore no ceremony with me
if you please. I want you to meet me to-morrow morning in Hyde Park at
six; and, do you hear? Bring your second with you; there's my card."
"Just as you please, Mr. Mr.," and then the comical general read the
card aloud, "Mr. Samuel Michael--just exactly as you please. Won't you
take a glass of wine?" continued the general, looking at him for an
instant, as he filled his own glass.
"No sir," said Samuel Michael, fiercely, "all I require of you, sir, is
punctuality to-morrow morning."
"Just as you please," reiterated the general; and Samuel took his leave.
The next morning, the general ordered his old servant to bring him his
coffee at five o'clock, and, as he was drinking it, with his papers
before him, Samuel Michael again made his appearance.
"You will be surprised to see me here, general?" said Samuel, in a mild
and tremulous tone. The general bowed--"but," continued Samuel, "but--it
really is not worth while, I mean I think it is not necessary, to fight.
In short, sir, if you require an apology, I am ready to write one down,
if, general, you"--and he paused half breathless with fear.
"Just as you please, Mr. Samuel Michael--just exactly as you please,"
said the general again, as he turned over a parcel of receipts.
"I may now, then," said Samuel, "conclude this unpleasant business is
amicably settled?"
"Just exactly as you please, sir," answered the general once more, as he
made some memoranda on the back of his receipt book.
So much for the old general! And more than he is worth.
When I saw him first at Charmouth, I cut him dead; but, being now really
anxious to consult some one who knew a little about me, I took the
liberty of nodding to him the next time I met him.
"Oh, oh, my fair neighbour! I really feared I had been so unfortunate as
to have offended you. How do you do, pray?"
We then entered into conversation, and as I discovered that he, like
half the rest of the world, had heard all about Worcester and me, I
consulted him as to what was to be done.
"Don't you know Fisher, the lady-killer of these parts?" he inquired.
"Heaven forbid!" said I.
"Why so?" asked the general. "He is a most particularly sharp fellow,
and, being a lawyer who knows who you are and all about you, he is the
very man to consult."
"But then, I am so afraid of the persons with whom I am living," said I.
"Be assured," answered the general, "that Fisher will be secret as to
your business. I will tell him you mean to apply to him, and you may
depend upon his honour. I am sure he will put you up to a plan of making
that vile, shabby, selfish Duke of Beaufort treat you better."
"But why is he called a lady-killer?"
"He is the beauty of Devonshire. Such black eyes! And six foot high!"
answered the general.
"The very things I hate in a man, so I am safe, and may consult your Mr.
Fisher, and yet hope to die a natural death after all."
I took my leave of this comical old man, and, on the very same evening,
addressed the following note to the gay Mr. Fisher of Lyme Regis.
"Sir,--A friend of yours has, I trust, acquainted you with
my motive for wishing to see you. As the family with which I am
staying is unacquainted with my real situation, I should wish to
consult you without their knowledge, if you will be kind enough to
say how that can be managed. If you will tell me the proper hour in
the morning, I will go to Lyme Regis.
"I remain, Sir,
"Your most obedient, humble servant,
"H. WILSON."
"What sort of a man is Mr. Fisher, the attorney of Lyme Regis?" said I
to Eliza, after I had carried my letter to the post office.
"Oh, he is a very gay man indeed; a very shocking man, they say: indeed
I have heard that he makes love to several women at the same time,
although he is a married man; but it would be uncharitable of us to
suppose any man so wicked as that."
I could not help laughing at poor Eliza, who must have been meant for
the golden age.
The next evening, the little, old post-woman, for whom Eliza and I had
been watching till we were nearly worn out, condescended to bend her
steps, little lanthorn and all, towards our door. Down flew Eliza,
and, this time, presented me with three letters; the post-mark on one
of them was Lyme Regis; so, guessing this to be from Eliza's terrible
man, Mr. Fisher, I put it into my reticule unopened. The other two were
from Meyler and Worcester. I beg his lordship's pardon for putting him
last, it was not certainly done with any intention to offend, but quite
naturally. Meyler, having, tried every other argument to induce me to
leave Charmouth and Lord Worcester, now ventured on a threat!
"You have a husband, with whom you are, it seems, quite
satisfied; or rather a lover for whom, though you profess not to
be in love, you have made every sacrifice, and for whom, too, you
cheerfully resign me and the income I have offered you, to assist
those methodistical Edmonds in feeding their pigs and chickens!
_Grand bien vous fasse!_ I, too, shall take unto myself a wife,
as the Quaker says, and verily the spirit has moved me towards a
certain fair one, and in sundry places."
The letter finished with some Melton news, and an account of his having
hurt his right arm, which would prevent his playing at tennis for the
rest of his life. He would rather have lost half his estate, upon his
honour. He was at last chosen for Winchester, after a severe contested
election, which had cost him twenty thousand pounds; but then it was
well worth that sum to be independent. Not that he should be very active
either way. In fact, Lord Bath had been kind enough to point out to him
the best seat in the lower house for taking a nap. Still he should be
miserable, if under the necessity of voting against his own idea of what
was fitting and best. The letter went on in these words.
"I had no idea, my dearest Harriette, for you are still very
dear to me, although you do use me so ill, I had not the smallest
idea that it was necessary to kiss so many dirty, ugly women, and
drink so much ale, rum and milk, grog, raisin and elder wine, with
porter and cyder, all in one day, otherwise I don't think I would
have gone into Parliament; for I have been sick for a fortnight,
and then, in this wretched state of stomach, one must get up, and
make a speech to one's constituents, full of lies about future
protection, friendship, and God knows what. However, I was really
getting on famously, as I flattered myself, and should have
finished with éclat, had not my eyes encountered that fool, Lord
Apsley, holding his sides in a roar of laughter, and he was joined
by that prince of blockheads, Harry Mildmay, who is also Member
for Winchester.
"I stopped short, of course, finding it impossible to go on. I
was very drunk to be sure; but still, these fellows had no right to
turn against me in such a mob. As to that ape, Mildmay, I am half
determined to lead a virtuous life on my Hampshire estate, studying
the happiness of my Winchester constituents, on purpose to mortify
him, and cut him out there."
The letter ended with many tender professions and entreaties that I
would go to him.
Worcester's letter, of three sheets crossed and recrossed, only
contained matter for four pages, leaving out the dearest darlings!
angel-wives! loveliest, sweetest, adorable, own own, everlastingly to be
worshipped! &c.
"We are," says Worcester's letter, only my readers must hold
in mind that I am leaving out his lordship's ohs and ahs! "we are
within a stone's throw of the enemy. God only knows whether I shall
be permitted to see you again or not. Your chain is round my neck,
and, as for your picture, I could not press my lips near enough to
your sweet delicious eyes, without taking off the glass; and now,
alas! I have kissed the left eye out, altogether, with your under
lip. I am dreadfully melancholy, but, being so close to the enemy,
pray don't tell anybody. If ever your heart beats against my own,
and I leave you again, may I----"
But oaths are all nonsense, particularly those of noble
lords, marquises, and dukes; besides, if I were to go on with the
most noble the Marquis of Worcester's letter, I might tumble upon
something indecent. Who knows; we are but mortal, even marquises
and dukes are but mortal. And the weather is so hot in Spain and
Portugal!
Poor Worcester! Or as your late frail wife used to call you,
poor Worcey! Thou hast turned out a most cold-blooded profligate,
as I am told: but it might not have been thus if we had married.
Our tempers certainly did exactly suit each other; and the love
must ever predominate on one side, or there will be an end of all
stimulus. Two people calling each other darlings, angels, and ducks
cannot last. I liked you for your own happiness, and God knows, I
was most true from the hour I placed myself under your protection
up to the time we parted. Who dares say nay, I say he lieth. Let
him prove it, if he can; for my part, I defy him!
Poor Worcey! You ought to have seen me provided for, and yet
I can never quite forget how dearly you loved me, when you gave up
all society, endured almost a parent's curse; nay, more, gave up
hunting and offered to support me by driving a mail coach!
No, young man: never mind what I sometimes write and say.
Upon my honour; upon my soul, to give you expressions out of Lord
Ponsonby's last letter, I do not, and never shall quite forget you.
The third letter was, as I supposed, from the provincial Adonis, Mr.
Fisher; as follows:
"MADAM,---Since secrecy is an object with you, I request
you will come to my chambers just after it is dark on Thursday
next, that being the only hour I can command as free from the
interruption of clients; it being my constant habit to refuse
admittance to strangers after day-light, although I do not leave my
chambers till my papers are all arranged for my clerks, who attend
here before eight in the morning.
"Obediently yours,
"CHARLES FREDERICK FISHER."
"What a wretch!" said I to myself, as soon as had read Mr. Fisher's
eloquent epistle. "I meet this dirty Devonshire lawyer after dark
indeed! I wish Worcester was here. If he had really loved me as he
affects to do, he would have died rather than have left me to be thus
insulted by this black, dirty, nasty, six-foot high country attorney!
Meet him at dark! What could one do with such a wretch, either by day
or night, or any kind of light. The monster! To flatter himself for an
instant."
I hastily opened my writing desk, and addressed the following letter to
Beau Fisher:
"SIR,--Whether I am, or am not, Lord Worcester's wife, be
assured that he has too much respect for me to permit a country
attorney to insult me by his invitations to meet him in the dark.
You may, of course, do as you please, with regard to the secrecy
I mentioned; but it is my and Lord Worcester's pleasure, that
you never presume to insult me again with your odious and very
humiliating proposals.
"I remain your most obedient,
"HARRIETTE."
After I had put this letter in the post-office the next morning, I
strolled down the sea coast, and again met the old general. He came
skipping towards me in great glee.
"You are the very person I wanted to see," said he, "I saw Fisher last
night, and he told me he had just answered your note to assure you, that
he should feel happy in being able to render you the slightest service."
"Pray don't mention Mr. Fisher to me," answered I, with much dignity.
"Why not?" inquired the general in surprise.
"Why, he has written me the most insulting letter possible. He desires
me to go to his chambers at dark."
"Impossible," said the general.
"How do you mean impossible," I asked?
"Do you really mean to say that Fisher ever hinted anything like a wish
to be favoured by you?"
"How do you mean favoured?"
"May I speak plainly?"
"I beg you will, general," answered I, impatiently.
"Do you really believe Fisher wanted to intrigue with you?"
"You may well be surprised at the wretch's presumption," said I.
"No," interrupted the general, "Fisher would never surprise me by his
presumption. I know him too well for that: but since you permit me to be
frank, I will tell you what Fisher said of you the other day."
"Go on."
"You promise not to be offended?"
"I never was offended in the whole course of my life with persons for
whom I have no regard, although one sometimes might seem indignant when
vulgar people presume to be too impertinent."
The general commenced: "Says Fisher to me the other day, just as you
were passing by, 'what in the name of the devil can Lord Worcester see
to admire in that ugly piece of goods? She has not a good point about
her.'"
"How very funny it will be, if I have mistaken his intentions," said I,
and I burst into a loud laugh. The idea struck me as so perfectly absurd
and comical!
"Rely upon it you have," said the general, "for, without flattery, I
will take upon me to say upon my word and honour, Fisher thinks you
anything but desirable, even supposing he had not more on his hands than
he can possibly accomplish with any degree of credit to himself."
I had not been so amused since I left London; and I could not sleep
all night for thinking of my mistake. Worcester had for the last three
years so surfeited me with love and adoration, that, really, a little
indifference was quite refreshing! I was half in love with the good
attorney, and went to sleep at last, while wondering to myself what he
was like.
At ten in the morning, I opened my eyes, and saw Eliza's pretty, smiling
face, at my bed-side, with a letter in her hand.
"A man-servant has just brought this letter from Lyme Regis, and waits
to know if you have any answer to send back," said Eliza.
I was seized with such a violent fit of laughter after the perusal of
Mr. Fisher's letter, that poor Eliza really thought I was mad. It was as
follows:
"MADAM,--Your misinterpretation of my last note is indeed
truly astonishing! I can only assure you, madam, upon my honour,
that I have not and I never had the slightest wish or intention to
meet you but as a man of business.
"Your very obedient, humble servant,
"C.F. FISHER."
"What can you be laughing at so violently?" Eliza inquired.
"Oh, you must excuse me," answered I, still laughing.
"Any answer for the servant?"
"Oh, yes. Pray ask him to wait a few minutes," said I, addressing
myself to my maid; and I then hastily wrote the following answer to Mr.
Fisher's tender effusion:
"SIR,--By your letter I have to apprehend that there was no
real cause of alarm! I cannot express my dismay, but must console
myself with the hope and in the belief that you are all a century
behind hand, as to good taste, in this part of the world.
"I beg to remain, sir,
"Your most obliged, and very
devoted, humble servant,
"HARRIETTE."
Having despatched the above, I wrote thus in answer to Meyler's long
letter:
"DEAR MR. MEYLER,--During more than three weeks, I had not
the honour of receiving a single line from you. At last you wrote
and franked your letter, probably to show me that you were in
Parliament! _Mais, Dieu me pardonne! je crois que tu me menace!
croyez moi, mon ami, ni homme, ni femme, ni enfant, n'ont jamais
rien eu de moi par ce moyen là._
"If you have found a woman to your taste, in God's name marry
her. I foster none but willing slaves believe me, and love none
but such as cannot help themselves, but needs must love me. Your
friends, the Beauforts, are treating me very ill, and I am afraid
my good conduct and the strong desire I felt to act generously
towards that family have been entirely lost upon them. However, I
would rather be a dupe occasionally, than suspect all the world
of selfishness and dishonour; for then my life would be a burden
to me; so, come what may, I acted for the best, and according to
the dictates of my conscience, therefore can never be completely
wretched. God bless you, little Meyler. After all, I should not
like you to forget me neither; but you must do as you please you
know.
"H.W."
As I took the thing so good-naturedly, I fancy Mr. Fisher felt a little
ashamed of his late want of gallantry, for he wrote me another letter,
in which he tried hard to soften down the cruelty of his first, styling
himself the fox and the grapes, etc. However it would not do, and, when
I passed him coming out of church, I shook my head at him so slyly, that
the man was dying to laugh out, yet honourable enough to subdue his
inclination, knowing I did not wish to be acknowledged by him.
I waited another month, in the vain expectation of receiving the
promised allowance from the Duke of Beaufort, and then I wrote to him as
follows:
"Lord Worcester agreed to go abroad on condition that I was
taken care of, and I promised to remain in England for one year
during which time you pledged yourself to send me a quarterly
allowance, or rather your man of business pledged himself in your
name in the presence of your son.
"I conceive a conditional engagement to be null and void, when
the conditions are not fulfilled. I therefore propose immediately
joining Lord Worcester in Spain, in case I do not receive a due
remittance from your Grace by return of post. I cannot help adding
that I should be very sorry to act with such want of feeling
towards my greatest enemy, as you have invariably shown towards me,
who have from first to last made every sacrifice in my power for
your peace and happiness.
"I remain,
"your Grace's most obedient
humble servant,
"H. WILSON."
By return of post I received a very polite answer from the Duke of
Beaufort, enclosing me a quarter's allowance, with some very plausible
excuse: I really forget what it was; but I think he said the delay was
not his fault but Mr. Robinson's. Mere nonsense, of course; since my
frequent applications could not have miscarried, and His Grace never
once condescended to write till I threatened to join Worcester, after
which he was afraid to lose a single post.
I am now growing tired of Devonshire, and so I hope and trust are my
readers. I propose giving them very little more news from that quarter.
I remained there exactly twelve months, during which time the only two
persons I beheld who had been before known to me were Lord Burghersh,
whose estates are I believe in that part of the world, and who opened
his eyes wide with astonishment at meeting me, and the old general there.
My dear mother and sister Fanny regularly corresponded with me, and
Meyler was more sanguine than usual, as the year got to a close. He
declared that he had no sort of fancy for anybody on earth but me, nor
ever had since the very beginning of our acquaintance. Worcester also
wrote in high spirits; stating that nothing should detain him in Spain
an hour after the expiration of twelve months.
At last, oh killing news! Just as I was in the expectation of Worcester
to fly away with me from Charmouth, which was all in his road from
Spain, came a letter--it ought to have been sealed with black wax--to
say that the Prince Regent, rather than Worcester should return to love
and me, was about to oblige the Duke of Beaufort, while he gave the
brave and dandy warriors of the Tenth an opportunity of distinguishing
themselves. To be brief, Worcester's regiment was ordered abroad. Could
he possibly, he wrote, come home at such a moment! But then his own
darling angel, sweet Harriette would come to him! Of this he felt sure,
&c.
"My dear Eliza, I must go to Spain," said I, as soon as I had finished
this letter.
The whole house was in tears. "How very kind, yet how unaccountable,
that strangers should feel so much more for us than our own sisters,"
thought I.
Eliza's aunt Martha declared that she would accompany me to Falmouth and
see me sail. "I am old enough, and thank God I am no beauty," said aunt
Martha, "and I may do what I please with my own little fortune. I have
never yet been ten miles from my native place, and I want to see the
world."
Fresh floods of tears were now forced out for my aunt Martha; however go
she would.
"The worst of it is," continued aunt Martha, "that my habit is five and
twenty years old, and as to travelling without a habit that is quite
impossible."
"I think between us all three we can alter it into something smart
and fashionable," said Eliza, and the next hour saw them occupied in
unpicking, cutting, and basting at my aunt Martha's most ample calico
habit.
I proposed setting off in two days. Much as I dreaded the sea, and hated
the idea of Spain and war, still, anything was better than thus wasting
one's sweetness on the desert air: besides, I was under a sort of
engagement to join Worcester, if Worcester found it impossible to return
to me. "Poor Meyler," thought I, and I will tell my readers a secret, I
would much rather have gone to London.
I took an affectionate leave of my mother and sister in two very long
letters; but I did not write to Meyler, I wanted him to remain in doubt
as to my having left Charmouth, that he might remember me the longer.
My aunt Martha's habit was completely modernised in due time, and Mrs.
Edmond and her amiable daughter passed the whole of the last day in
preparing little nice cakes, &c., for our travelling basket, which aunt
Martha was strictly charged not to lose sight of.
At last we were seated in the Falmouth mail, on a fine clear summer
morning. We travelled all day and all night, and poor aunt Martha was
half dead with fatigue on the following evening, when we were set down
at the first-rate inn at Falmouth.
We begged the chamber-maid to conduct us immediately to a good
two-bedded room.
"Oh, ladies," announced the woman pertly, "you must take what you can
get; for we are so full, that I don't know where on earth to put half
of you, owing to the wind having been so directly contrary for more
than three weeks. Thus ships are every day coming in, while all the
passengers for Spain have been waiting at Falmouth these three weeks,
and we have got a consul, or ambassador, or something great of that
kind, who has occupied all our best rooms for the last fortnight, with
his secretaries and black footmen, and all the rest of it."
"Had we not better try another inn?" said I to my aunt Martha.
But she declared herself so very ill and fatigued, having never
travelled before, that she could not move.
"And if you could," said the chamber-maid, "you would only fare the
worse for your pains, since there is scarcely a bed to be found in all
Falmouth."
"Well, what can you do for us?" I inquired despairingly, for I was both
tired and spiritless.
"Why, as luck would have it, a gentleman as was going to Spain is just
gone off by the London mail, because he had no more patience to wait
here for change of weather, and his room has got two little beds in it;
but it is up in the garret."
"Never mind," said poor aunt Martha; and we were soon settled for
the night in a very comfortless-looking room, far away from either
chamber-maids or waiters, and nothing like a bell was to be discovered.
For the three first days of our inhabiting this garret, we really
ran the risk of being starved, as it was impossible to procure any
attendance. True, in scampering about the house to search for bread,
tea, or butter, our noses were regaled by the excellent ragouts, as the
consul's black servants were carrying them to their master's table.
"What a shame it is," said aunt Martha, "that a man is to be enjoying
himself in this manner, with fiddles and ragouts, while two poor women
in the same inn, are stuck up in a garret and left there to starve."
The captain of the vessel I proposed going out by, and to whom I paid
on my arrival five and twenty guineas for my berth, was a peculiarly
amiable man, and he was kind enough to invite us to dine with his wife.
We were very anxious to look about us a little; but aunt Martha had been
told that Falmouth was such a wicked town that, for four days, we had
kept our room.
The fifth, finding it impossible to procure any single thing to eat,
good or bad, owing to the arrival of another vessel from the Peninsula,
we were absolutely forced out of our delicate alarms, and resolved to go
out and purchase a cold tongue and some biscuits. However, we first took
a long country walk, and enjoyed such magnificent scenery as astonished
even my aunt Martha, who declared that there was a boldness and grandeur
about the views in Cornwall, which far exceeded anything she had seen in
Devonshire.
As we entered the inn after filling our reticules with eatables, we
stepped back while the consul or ambassador, I forget which, who ate up
all our dinner and was the chief cause of such a terrible famine in the
inn, stepped into his gay carriage. I thought I had seen his face, but
I really could not recollect where. He appeared to recognise me too, by
the manner he looked at me. We mounted up into our dismal room very much
out of spirits, having ascertained that the wind was exactly in the same
unlucky quarter.
The next day, the chamber-maid brought me a polite note from the consul
to request the favour of our company to dinner, as often as we could
make it convenient, _sans cérémonie_. He had often had the pleasure of
seeing me in London, or he should not have taken the liberty, which he
had the less scruple in doing having been led to understand we were so
very badly attended on.
"Well! this is something like!" said my aunt Martha, bridling; for I
forgot to inform my readers that my aunt Martha was still on the right
side of fifty, and, though her countenance had never, even in her
youngest days, possessed any other attraction than an expression of
extreme good-nature and animation, still that was something, and then
her habit, which was composed of curiously fine cloth, had now been
altered into as becoming a form as possible. On the whole, my aunt
Martha, while she admitted I must have been the principal attraction,
really did hope she had stood for something in this invitation. In
short, she was in such high spirits that, in the warmth of her heart,
she insisted on offering the contents of our reticules to my _femme de
chambre._
"How I regret not having seen something of life a little sooner,"
said aunt Martha, as she stood before the glass settling her ruff. "I
presume we shall meet those two secretaries at dinner to-day. One of
them was remarkably handsome, I thought. Of course, they will excuse
our travelling dresses. They must know your trunks are all on board.
I should like, notwithstanding, to purchase a small red rose for this
cap: it would set it off, and look somewhat more dressy for the evening,
you know. As for you, they will be in love with you any how. That's the
advantage of being handsome. No matter then what one wears."
The consul's servant now entered the room in a gay livery, with his
master's compliments, and a request to know if he was to expect the
honour of our company at dinner.
"You will present our compliments, and say we propose doing ourselves
that pleasure," I answered, and the servant left the room.
"The honour of our company," repeated aunt Martha, in a kind of ecstasy.
"How very polite and condescending is this consul!"
"It is a pity he is so carroty. I thought he resembled Lord Yarmouth
very much," said I. "I only hope he may turn out half as pleasant, and
then I will forgive his carroty hair."
Aunt Martha was so long settling the form of her lace cap, that the
consul and his two secretaries were waiting dinner for us when we
entered the room. He politely introduced the young gentlemen to us.
The name of the handsomest was Brown; I have forgotten the other. I
whispered to the consul, at the very first opportunity, that my friend
was unacquainted with my situation or the name of Lord Worcester,
believing me to be an officer's wife of the name of Wilson, and he
promised to be discreet. He was a very pleasing man, of about forty-five
or fifty, and, being really under such obligation to him for his great
politeness, I am particularly sorry that I cannot recollect his name. I
hope, if ever he condescends to read my memoirs, that he will, through
this medium, accept my thanks, and the assurance that I have not,
with his name, forgotten his friendly hospitality towards us two poor
unfortunate ladies.
The dinner was served up in the very best style of elegance. What a
contrast to our scanty fare in our garret! After dinner, the young
men proposed going to the play, since Mathews was engaged there for
a few nights. The consul, however, declared we must excuse him; but
good-naturedly requested the secretaries to chaperon us there, promising
to have a good supper for us on our return.
Accordingly, after our coffee, we were off in the consul's carriage
to the play, where we were joined by the captain of the vessel, who
brought me and my aunt Martha an invitation to a party for the following
evening. The consul and secretaries were already invited.
"Oh, if I had but slipped my new purple silk dress into my portmanteau,"
whispered aunt Martha.
"Can we really be admitted in riding habits?" I inquired.
"Certainly," said the captain. "Almost the whole of the party are
composed of travellers, whose luggage is on board, and I have been
commissioned to invite whoever I conceive most amiable; and of course I
began here," he continued, politely bowing to us all.
"Is it to be a state party?" I inquired.
"I am afraid so," said the captain; "for we do not sit down to supper
till past two in the morning."
"We shall kill you," said I, turning to my aunt Martha.
"Oh dear no!" answered the good-natured woman; "I have experienced so
much kindness from every stranger at Falmouth, that gratitude will
keep me broad awake." Aunt Martha was indeed a general favourite with
young people; because she ever entered into all their little cares and
vexations with so much heart, and a real desire to advise what was best
and most pleasant for them. Then a dozen English people meeting at
Falmouth, when they are just about to separate and go, some of them,
they know not to whom, naturally threw off all restraint, and made them
appear to each other in the light of brothers and sisters.
We found an excellent supper ready, and the good consul was himself
making us some punch, in case we should happen to be tired of champagne
and claret. After supper we had a waltz. Mr. Brown kindly undertook to
give my aunt Martha her first lesson, which created much merriment. It
was nearly three o'clock before we got to bed, and in this manner we
kept it up for almost three weeks, dining regularly, when not otherwise
engaged, at the consul's table.
Every evening we went either to a play or a party, and the mornings we
passed on board, or walking, or riding about. My health was scarcely
ever so good as during the time I spent at Falmouth, nor do I recollect
ever to have been thrown into society where there was so much vivacity
and wit and no trouble in dressing for it.
I had been an unusual length of time without letters from Lord
Worcester, and, as I could not doubt their being immediately forwarded
to me by Mrs. Edmond, if any had arrived at Charmouth, I grew uneasy;
and, having learned by accident, that a young officer who had just
arrived from headquarters was in the house, I requested in a note that
he would allow me to ask him a few questions. He came to me instantly,
and in answer to my various inquiries about Worcester, with whom he said
he was not personally acquainted, he hinted something of a story, that
Mrs. Archdeacon, the sister of the paymaster's second wife, who formerly
made such an attack on Worcester's virtue at Brighton, and who was
living with her husband at Lisbon, had been run away with by the Marquis
of Worcester.
"Are you certain of this?" I inquired, without, I confess, much
agitation.
"He was not," he said; "but it was a fact that Mrs. Archdeacon had left
her husband, and gone up to the army with somebody; though, as she
arrived there just as he had left headquarters on his way to England, he
could not take upon himself to say that she was with Lord Worcester. He
knew that the Marquis, when he last came down to Lisbon, had been in the
habit of dining with Mr. Archdeacon and his wife."
"This fool!" thought I, "after tormenting his parents, and keeping me
here lest he should die!--after refusing the prayers of his father,
whose very life seemed to depend on his leaving me, suddenly takes
another woman away, notwithstanding his last letter was so full of
solemn vows of everlasting constancy as any he ever wrote. What
steadiness could I expect from such an ass as Worcester? I'll go to
London: that's settled! Life is short, and I have been quite patient
enough. I don't care one straw about money; but I must have something
like enjoyment, of some sort, before I die." Another story decided me.
I heard, two days after my interview with the officer, it was whispered
about Lisbon, that, supposing Harriette Wilson made an attempt to join
Lord Worcester, the English Ambassador had the power to get her put on
an American ship and sent to America!
All this might, or might not, be true; but certainly I was not disposed
to try it. Then came more stories, from different quarters, concerning
Worcester and Mrs. Archdeacon. "They cannot be wholly false," thought
I, "or he would write." In fact there was one person, who had no sort
of interest in deceiving me, and he acquainted the consul that Mrs.
Archdeacon certainly did go up to the army to join Lord Worcester, and
that she was then actually staying with him.
"I have received letters which require my instant presence in London,"
said I to my aunt Martha, at which, though she expressed the greatest
surprise, still she was delighted, as I did not mean to leave England.
The captain returned me half my five and twenty guineas, and after
taking our leave of our kind friends, who expressed sincere regret at
the loss of our society, I took my place for the next day in the mail,
not for Charmouth but London.
It was a tremendously long journey; but I was tired of the country,
tired of suspense, disgusted with the whole set of Beauforts, and dying
to be refreshed once more by the sight of Meyler's bright expressive
countenance.
The mail stopped a short time at Charmouth, where I left my aunt Martha,
took a most affectionate leave of the whole family, and late the next
night I arrived at my sister Fanny's house in London.