HOW MEN CARICATURE THEMSELVES WITH THEIR CLOTHES.
Although in the dress of man there are fewer possibilities of caricature
than in that of woman, yet, "the masterpieces of creation" frequently
exaggerate in a laughable--and sometimes a pitiable--way, certain
physical characteristics by an injudicious choice of clothes.
As the fashion in hair-dressing does not grant man the privilege of
enhancing his facial attractions; nor of obscuring his defects by a
becomingly arranged coiffure; and, as the modes in neck-gear are such
that he cannot modify the blemishes of a defective complexion by
encircling his athletic or scrawny throat with airy tulle, or dainty
lace, that arch-idealizer of pasty-looking faces; and as he has forsworn
soft, trailing garments that conceal unclassic curves and uninspiring
lines of nether limbs, it behooves him to be more exactingly particular
even than woman in the selection of his wearing apparel.
Far be it from me, however, to remind man of his many limitations--in
dress. That he can never know the rapture of donning a becoming spring
bonnet, nor the pleasure of possessing "real lace" things, nor the
sensuous charm of being enwrapped in caressing furs, or sleazy, silken
garments as exquisite in color and texture as beautiful, fresh flowers,
only delicate consideration for his feelings constrains me from
expatiating upon at length.
I would rather be able to remind him that he can make his limitations
his advantages, than reveal to him what he misses in not being a woman.
To treat of this important subject adequately and convincingly, one
would require the masterly discernment of a skillful and accomplished
tailor, the experienced knowledge of a well-dressed man, and the alertly
critical perception of a loving woman who, even in the matter of
clothes, wishes the dearest of men to her, to do full justice to himself
and her ideal of him on all occasions.
Although certain of the foregoing qualifications must needs be lacking,
nevertheless this timorous pen, with more trepidation than courage it
must be confessed, begs to call attention to a few obvious details in
masculine attire that caricature, more or less, peculiarities in the
forms and features of men.
To be sure, in the matter of head-gear man is not conspicuously at the
mercy of burlesquing ribbons, flowers, and feathers, and he has fewer
opportunities than women to make himself ridiculous, yet a few
suggestions regarding certain shapes of head-gear for certain types of
faces, applicable to women are equally applicable to him.
The same rule that applies to the women of the wedge-shaped type of face
applies to the man of the wedge-shaped type, as may be seen in sketches
Nos. 75 and 76. It is obvious that the youth depicted in No. 75
detracts from the manliness of his face and emphasizes the pointed
appearance of his countenance by wearing a hat with a broad brim
projecting over his ears. This style of hat appears more frequently in
straw than in any other texture, but the effect of a wide, projecting
rim is the same in any material. No. 76, it is plain, improves the
appearance of the long, slim-faced man. An alpine hat would not be
unbecoming to him, the high oval of the crown forming a balance for the
lower part of the face.
[Illustration: NO. 75]
[Illustration: NO. 76]
The man with a pugilistic chin should endeavor to select a hat that will
not make his heavy jaw as prominent as does the stiff derby, in No. 77.
[Illustration: NO. 77]
A soft alpine hat, or one somewhat of the style of No. 78, improves his
appearance. The high crown and wide, gracefully rolling brim
counter-balance the weight and prominence of the jaw.
[Illustration: NO. 78]
Apropos of the minor details of man's garments, the button as a feature
of clothes has never been fully done justice to. It is a sustaining
thing we know, something we can hang to, fasten to, and even tie to.
That properly placed buttons contribute to our mental poise and
therefore to our physical repose, is hinted in that absurdly engaging
story, anent the smart boy who was the envy of his spelling-class,
because he always stood first. You remember, no doubt, that an envious
but keen-eyed classmate observed that the smart speller worked off his
nervous apprehensiveness by twirling the top button of his coat as he
correctly spelled word after word, day in and day out; and how the
keen-eyed one played the part of a stealthy villain and surreptitiously
cut the button off the coat. And do you remember the dramatic ending?
How the smart one on the fatal day sought to "press the button" and
finding it gone, lost his wits completely and failed ignominiously? Many
of us when we have lost a sustaining button, have we not felt as
ridiculously helpless and wit-benumbed as the smart speller?
[Illustration: NO. 79]
We all sub-consciously acknowledge our dependence upon buttons, but not
many of us, evidently, have observed that even buttons have a certain
possibility of caricature in them; and that they may add to, or detract
from, the appearance of manly forms. The consideration of properly
placed buttons may seem trivial to you, but if you will observe sketches
Nos. 79 and 80, you may discern that a thin man may apparently increase
his breadth and add a certain manly touch to his figure, by changing the
buttons at the waist-line of his coat. The buttons placed so near
together, in No. 79, really make his toothpick proportions too obvious.
His back is made to look broader by placing the buttons wider apart, as
shown in No. 80, and changing the cut of his coat-tail.
[Illustration: NO. 80]
That the fat man may also present a more attractive back to his enemies
by considering the placing of his buttons, may be seen in drawings Nos.
81 and 82. The buttons decorating No. 81 are placed so far apart that
they increase in an ungainly way the breadth of the back at the
waist-line. If they are placed nearer together, and the seams graduated
to meet them, they give the illusion of better and more desirable
proportions, as may be seen in No. 82.
[Illustration: NO. 81]
[Illustration: NO. 82]
That the thin man may also present a more imposing and broader front to
the world, is suggested in sketches Nos. 83 and 84. The contracted look
of the coat in No. 83 is somewhat due to the buttons of his
double-breasted coat being placed too closely together. The slender man
who wishes to give the impression of being broad-chested may have the
buttons on his coat placed a little farther apart than fashion may
allow, as shown in sketch 84. The proportions may be easily preserved by
a careful adjustment of the shoulder-seams and the seams under the arms.
[Illustration: NO. 83]
[Illustration: NO. 84]
[Illustration: NO. 85]
The waist-line is not so much "a danger line" to man as to woman, yet
man should not wholly ignore his equator. If he is long-waisted he can
apparently balance his proportions by having his skirt shortened, as in
No. 85, and his waist-line raised the merest bit. If he is too
short-waisted he can lengthen his skirt and lower his waist-line, as
shown in No. 86. In the one he escapes appearing too long and lanky in
body, and in the other he obscures a lack of becoming inches that tends
to give him a dumpy appearance.
[Illustration: NO. 86]
If you study your fellow-men you will observe that few are really
perfectly proportioned. One man will have the body of a viking on the
legs of a dwarf, or one will have the legs of an Apollo supporting the
short body of a pigmy. The man who has a kingly body, too broad in
proportion to his legs, as shown in sketch No. 87, should endeavor to
modify his physical defect by the careful selection of his coats. He
should have his coats cut to give him as much length of leg as possible.
A skilful tailor will know just what subtle changes and adjustments to
make. The improvement in appearance and gain in height is pictured in
sketch 88. The coat being shorter and the waist of the trousers being
raised a trifle, the man's limbs seem longer, which is an improvement.
Long lines tend to give elegance and grace in bearing. Another thing for
the too robust type of man to consider is the style of his trousers. No.
87 hints what he must not choose. Such brazen plaids only make him
appear offensively aggressive in size. Long, fine lines, such as shown
in No. 88, give an impression of length and apparently lessen the width.
[Illustration: NO. 87]
Too long lines, however, are almost as undesirable as too short ones.
Over-tall, thin men sometimes make themselves look like telegraph poles
or flagstaffs by wearing short coats that expose in a graceless way the
whole length of their limbs. They suggest cranes and other fowl that
give the impression of being "all legs."
[Illustration: NO. 88]
When the legs are proportioned more like a stick of macaroni or a lead
pencil than the shapely limbs of an Adonis, they appear exceedingly
funny when surmounted by a short coat, such as pictured in No. 89. A
famous general in the Civil War did not despise cotton as a
fortification to protect him from the onslaught of the enemy. The
over-tall, thin man, who is not unsuggestive of a picket, should not be
ashamed to fortify himself with cotton or any other sort of padding that
intelligent tailors keep in stock. He should build his shoulders up a
bit and be generally, but most carefully and artistically, enlarged. His
coat should be lengthened, as in sketch go, to cut off just as much of
the longness of limb as can possibly be allowed without destroying
artistic proportions. The very tall, thin man who unthinkingly wears a
very short coat should be brave and never turn his back to his enemy.
[Illustration: NO. 89]
If he wears black and white check trousers and a short blue coat, he
should travel with a screen. A man in just such a rig attracted no end
of comment in a fashionable hotel. The caricaturing effect of his
trousers and coat were unspeakably comical. The wearer had a face as
grave as an undertaker's and the air of a serious-minded college
professor; but he had the nondescript look of a scarecrow composed of
whatever available garments could be obtained from the cast-off wardrobe
of summer boarders in a farmhouse.
[Illustration: NO. 90]
Coats assuredly have the power of making cartoons--living, jocular
cartoons--of their wearers. It would hardly seem necessary to call
attention to the fact that a man of huge dimensions should not wear a
short coat, such as shown in sketch No. 91, yet his type is too
frequently seen attired in this style. A man so dressed certainly seems
the living exemplification of the definition of a jug, namely, "a vessel
usually with a swelling belly, narrow mouth, and a handle, for holding
liquors." It cannot be reiterated too often that a large, stout man
should aim to acquire the distinction and dignity given by long lines.
If his body is proportioned so he really has neither length of torso nor
of limb he must pay more attention to the cut of his clothes and attain
length in whatever artistic way he can. The long coat, as may be seen
in sketch No. 92, not only apparently adds length but it conceals too
protuberant curves.
[Illustration: NOS. 91 and 92]
Of course, character counts far more than clothes, we will all agree to
that, but at first glance it is a man's clothes that impress people.
Clothes affect our behavior somewhat. For instance, "When the young
European emigrant, after a summer's labor puts on for the first time a
new coat, he puts on much more. His good and becoming clothes put him on
thinking that he must behave like people who are so dressed; and
silently and steadily his behavior mends." Of course, there is an
uplifting truth in George Herbert's maxim, "This coat with my discretion
will be brave," yet, I am inclined to think that the majority of men who
will stop to consider will agree with Emerson, who says, "If a man has
not firm nerves and has keen sensibility, it is perhaps a wise economy
to go to a good shop and dress himself irreproachably. He can then
dismiss all care from his mind, and may easily find that performance an
addition of confidence, a fortification that turns the scale in social
encounters, and allows him to go gayly into conversations where else he
had been dry and embarrassed. I am not ignorant,--I have heard with
admiring submission the experience of the lady who declared 'that the
sense of being perfectly well dressed gives a feeling of inward
tranquillity which religion is powerless to bestow.'"
A popular clothier in New York, understanding this trait of his
fellow-men, voices this same sentiment in his advertisement in this
succinct way: "Seriously now. Have you ever stopped to think that if you
wear good clothing it adds much to that independent, easy feeling you
should have when you come in contact with other men?"
I think it was Lord Chesterfield who said: "A man is received according
to his appearance, and dismissed according to his merits." There is a
bit of truth in this we would all admit, I have no doubt, if we studied
the question. Clothes affect our own poise, ease, and attitude toward
others and the expression of others toward us, but, after all, we rely
upon the man or woman instead of upon the impression we receive from the
clothes. The garments, after we have noticed them in a superficial way,
are chiefly interesting to us, because they are arch-betrayers of the
physical and mental poise of the man. No matter what the cut of the
cloth, no matter what _cachet_ of a fashionable tailor a suit may have,
or what its richness of material, the attitude "à la decadence" of No.
93 would make the best clothes in Christendom look shabby and
unattractive.
[Illustration: NO. 93]
This too familiar carriage of the American man makes one wish to have
the power to reverse the faces--as Dante did those of the false
prophets, so those who stand "à la decadence" might see what ridiculous
figures they cut in drawing-room and street. The curved backs and
rounded-out shoulders would make fair-looking chests, and the flat
chests would represent respectable-looking backs.
A man owes it to the spirit within him not to stand or walk in such an
attitude. He should brace up and keep bracing up persistently,
unremittently, until he attains a more manly bearing.
[Illustration: NO. 94]
The wholly alive fellow pictured in sketch No. 94 would make homespun
look elegant. His chest is forward. He does not sag in front at the
waist, protruding his abdomen in not only an inartistic, but an
unhealthy manner; but he strides masterfully forward with an air of
inspiriting "aliveness." The perfect poise of his attitude is not
unsuggestive of the Apollo Belvedere--the model for all men--a picture
of which every college boy should have to place beside the prettiest
girl in his collection of pretty girls, to constantly remind him to
carry himself like a young god.
End of Project Gutenberg's What Dress Makes of Us, by Dorothy Quigley