Mr. GRANT ALLEN charges London with being "a squalid village." Sir
LEPEL GRIFFIN suggests that the "Postprandial Philosopher" must have
been dining badly. He--Sir LEPEL--contends that "Like the beggar-maid
in Mr. BURNE-JONES'S picture, London is a beautiful woman, fair of
face and noble of form, and only needs the transforming hand of some
future King COPHETUA to strip her of her sordid rags, and clothe her
in the lustrous raiment which befits her." This is what 'ARRY would
call "the straight Griffin"! By all means make COPHETUA Chairman of
the London County Council--as soon as you find him! Sir LEPEL, instead
of joining in the parrot-chorus of disparagement, actually says, "The
best hope of the regeneration of London is in the County Council"!!!
He thinks "it is a mistake" to distrust them, and would hand over to
them (says the _Daily Chronicle_) most of the machinery and material
of our municipal life. Quite so. And as the Gryphon (which is much the
same thing as Griffin) said to the Mock Turtle (suggestive this of the
Civic Corporation), in _Alice in Wonderland_, _Punch_ would say to Sir
LEPEL or his problematic COPHETUA, "Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all
day about it!"
When ALICE ventured to say she had never heard of "Uglification," the
Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. "What! Never heard
of uglifying!" it exclaimed. "You know what to beautify is,
I suppose?"--"Yes," said ALICE, doubtfully; "it
means--to--make--anything--prettier."--"Well, then," the GRYPHON (who
must have been a Postprandial Philosopher, surely) went on, "if you
don't know what to uglify is, you _must_ be a simpleton."
By the way, why should not Sir LEPEL himself essay the _role_ of
King COPHETUA, L.C.C., and help to beautify the modern Babylonian
beggar-maid? He says that "the general administration of London is
infinitely mean and inefficient," adding that "vested interests are
chiefly to blame for the national disgrace." Very well. Let Sir LEPEL
help to give those same Vested Interests "vun in the veskit," squelch
the Jerry Builder, and arrest the march of "Uglification," and
then--why then London will, as in duty bound, erect _his_ statue in
place, and on the site of, that other, and very different "Griffin,"
which is the very incarnation of Uglification, and material embodiment
of B[oe]otian Bumbledom!
* * * * *
NOT THE GIRL FOR HOT WEATHER.--One who "makes sunshine in a shady
place."
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