The annual entertainment at Brosedale was on an unusual scale this year.
The house was full, and full of eligible people. Mr. St. George Wilton,
it is true, had departed without laying himself and his diplomatic
honors at Miss Saville's feet; but that accomplished young lady was
upheld by the consciousness that his soldier-cousin would be there to
fill his place, and would be no mean substitute.
This celebration of Sir Peter Fergusson's birthday was instituted by his
admiring wife, who found it useful as a sort of rallying point at a
difficult season, and helped the family radiance to obliterate the
whilom revered Grits of Brosedale; and Sir Peter, to whom money was no
object, allowed himself to be flattered and fooled into this piece of
popularity-hunting as "advisable" and the "right thing."
Wilton dressed and drove over to Brosedale, in a mingled state of
resolution and anxiety. Although he seemed as pleasant a companion, as
good a shot, as bold a rider as ever to his Hussar hosts, he found
plenty of time to think, to examine, and to torment himself. He had not
reached his thirty-fifth year without a sprinkling of love affairs, some
of them, especially of early date, fiery enough; but no previous fancy
or passion had taken such deep hold upon him as the present one. Like
many of the better sort of men, he looked on women as pretty, charming
toys; to be kindly and honorably treated, cared for and protected, but
chiefly created for man's pleasure, to give a certain grace to his
existence when good, and to spoil it when wicked. A woman with
convictions, with an individual inner life; a woman he could talk to, as
to a friend, apart from her personal attraction; a woman who spoke to
him as if love-making was not thought of between them; a woman to whom
he dared not make love lest he should lose those delicious glimpses of
heart and mind, so fresh, so utterly unconscious of their own
charm--this was something quite beyond his experience. Then, to a true
gentleman, her strangely forlorn, isolated position hedged her round
with a strong though invisible fence; and the great difficulty of
meeting her alone, of finding opportunities to win her, and rouse her
from her pleasant but provoking ease and friendliness--all conspired to
fan the steadily increasing fire. Occupy himself as he might, the sound
of her voice was ever in his ear; her soft, earnest, fearless eyes
forever in his sight. What a companion she would be, with her bright
intelligence, her quick sympathy, her artistic taste! and through all
this attraction of fancy and intelligence ran the electric current of
strong passion, the intense longing to read love in her eyes, to feel
the clasp of her slender arms, to hold her to his heart, and press his
lips to hers! He had known many fairer women, but none before had
stirred his deeper, better nature like this friendless, obscure girl, on
whom he involuntarily looked with more of reverence than the haughtiest
peeress had called forth; and come what might, he would not lose her for
lack of boldness to face the possible ills of an unequal match.
Wilton did not deceive himself as to the seeming insanity of such a
marriage. He knew what Moncrief would say; what the world in which he
lived would say--for that he cared little; but he looked ahead. He knew
his means were limited for a man in his position; then there were good
appointments in India and elsewhere for military men with administrative
capacities and tolerable interest; and with Ella Rivers and plenty of
work, home and happiness would exist anywhere, everywhere! Lord St.
George! Ay; there lay a difficulty. However, he was certainly a
perfectly free agent; but it went sorely against him to resign the
prospect of wealth to support the rank which must come to him.
Insensibly he had appropriated it in his mind since his interview with
the old peer, and now he wished more than ever to secure it for Ella's
sake. Whatever might be the obscurity of her origin, she would give new
dignity to a coronet, if she would accept him. It was this "if" that lay
at the root of the anxiety with which Wilton drove to Brosedale, and
struggled to be lively and agreeable while the guests assembled, for he
was unusually early. Who could foresee whether that wonderful
unconsciousness which characterized Miss Rivers's manner might not be
the result of a preoccupied heart? At the idea of a rival--a successful
rival--Wilton felt murderous, while smiling and complimenting Miss
Saville as they stood together in the music-room, where the first
arrivals were received.
"I thought St. George had left some time ago," he said, observing that
gentleman approach.
"He returned for the ball," replied Miss Saville, who was looking very
handsome in a superb toilet. "He dances divinely. We could not have got
on without him."
"Dancing is a diplomatic accomplishment," said Wilton gravely. "I am
told there used to be a competition ballet once a year at Whitehall, for
which leave was granted at remote missions; but the advantages possessed
by the Paris and Vienna _attachés_ over those in Vancouver's Land and
the Cannibal Islands were so unfair that it has been discontinued;
besides, old H---- is opposed to the graces."
This speech permitted St. George to come up, and he immediately engaged
the beautiful Helen for the first waltz.
"I think we may as well begin, Helen," said Lady Fergusson; "we can make
up two or three quadrilles. Come, Lord Ogilvie"--this to a fledgling
lord, who had been caught for the occasion--"take Miss Saville to the
ball-room."
"Where is your youngest daughter, Lady Fergusson?" asked Colonel Wilton.
"I suppose on such an occasion she is permitted to share the pomps and
vanities. Eh?"
"Oh, Isabel! She has already gone into the ball-room with Miss Walker;
but I cannot permit you to throw yourself away on a school girl. Let me
introduce you to--"
"My dear Lady Fergusson, you must permit me the liberty of choice.
Isabel or nothing," he interrupted.
"Very well," said Lady Fergusson, with a slight, but pleased smile.
Colonel Wilton offered his arm, and they proceeded to the ball-room. It
was the largest of two large drawing-rooms, only separated by handsome
columns. Cleared of furniture and profusely decorated with flowers, it
was spacious and attractive enough to satisfy the wildest D----shire
imagination, nor was it beneath the approval of the experienced
Londoners staying in the house. At one end it opened on a large fragrant
conservatory; here the band was stationed; the further end of the second
drawing-room was an apartment devoted to refreshments, and again
communicating with the conservatory by a glass-covered passage lined
with tropical shrubs, lighted by soft, ground-glass lamps, and warmed to
a delicious temperature. When Wilton entered the ball-room the first
sets of quadrilles were being formed. He soon perceived Isabel standing
beside her step-father, and Miss Walker, in festive attire, conversing
with a learned-looking old gentleman in spectacles at a little distance.
Wilton's heart failed him. Where was Ella Rivers? Had Donald insisted on
keeping her a prisoner lest she might enjoy a pleasure he could not
share?
However, he asked the delighted school-girl to dance with a suitable air
of enjoyment, and before the third figure had begun had extracted the
following information.
"Donald has been frightfully cross all day; he always is when we have a
ball; and he has kept Miss Rivers so late! But I think she is ready now;
she was to wait in the conservatory till Miss Walker went for her, as
she could not very well come in alone."
After which communication Miss Isabel Saville found her partner slightly
absent, and given rather to spasmodic spurts of conversation than to
continuous agreeability. In truth, the quadrille seemed very long. He
watched Miss Walker carefully; she was still alone, and--if such a
phrase could be applied to anything so rigid--fluttering amiably from
one dowager to another among the smaller gentry invited once a year.
"Now Colonel Wilton," said Lady Fergusson when the quadrille was over,
"I will introduce you to a charming partner--an heiress, a belle--"
"Do not think of it," he interrupted. "I have almost forgotten how to
dance; you had better keep me as a reserve fund for the partnerless and
forlorn."
Wilton stepped back to make way for some new arrivals; still, no sign of
Ella. Miss Walker was in deep conversation with a stout lady in maroon
satin and black lace; she had evidently forgotten her promise; so,
slipping through the rapidly-increasing crowd, Wilton executed a bold
and skilful flank movement.
Passing behind the prettily ornamented stand occupied by the musicians,
just as they struck up a delicious waltz, he plunged into the
dimly-lighted recesses of the conservatory in search of the missing
girl. She was not there, so he dared to penetrate into the passage
before mentioned, on which one or two doors opened; one of them was
open, letting in a brilliant light from the room behind, and just upon
the threshold stood Ella Rivers, with an expectant look in her eyes.
Wilton paused in his approach, so impressed was he by her air of
distinction. The delicate white of her neck and arms showed through her
dress of black gauze; her dark brown, glossy hair braided back into wide
plaited loops behind her small shell-like ear, and brought round the
head in a sort of crown, against which lay her only ornament, a white
camellia with its dark green leaves. As she stood thus, still and
composed, waiting patiently, and looking so purely, softly, colorless,
and fair, the quiet grace of her figure, the dusk transparency of her
drapery, associated her in Wilton's fancy with the tender beauty of
moonlight; but, as the thought passed through his brain, he stepped
forward and accosted her.
"I have come to claim the waltz you promised me, Miss Rivers."
She started, and colored slightly. "Yes," she replied, "I am ready, as
you have remembered. I am waiting for Miss Walker, who promised to come
for me."
"She is engaged with some people in the ball-room, so I ventured to
come in her place."
He bowed, and offered his arm as he spoke, with the utmost deference;
and Miss Rivers, with one quick, surprised glance, took it in silence.
"You remembered your promise to me?" asked Wilton, as they passed
through the conservatory.
"Scarcely," she replied, with a slight smile. "I did not think of it
till you spoke."
"And had I been a little later I should have found you waltzing with
some more fortunate fellow?"
"Yes, very likely, had any one else asked me. You see," apologetically,
"I am very fond of dancing, and I know so few--or rather I know no
one--so had you not come, and I had waited for you, I might never have
danced at all."
"But you _knew_ I would come," exclaimed Wilton, eagerly.
Miss Rivers shook her head, raising her eyes to his with the first
approach to anything like coquetry he had ever noticed in her, though
playfulness would be the truer description.
"You knew I would come," he repeated.
"Indeed I did not."
These words brought them to the ball-room, and as they stepped out into
the light and fragrance of the bright, well-filled, decorated room,
Wilton's companion uttered a low exclamation of delight.
"How beautiful! how charming--and the music! Come, let us dance! we are
losing time. Oh! how long it is since I danced! How glad I am you came
for me!"
Wilton tried to look into her eyes, to catch their expression when she
uttered these words, but in vain--they were wandering with animated
delight over the gay scene and whirling figures, while her hand, half
unconsciously, was stretched up to his shoulder. The next moment they
were floating away to the strains of one of Strauss's dreamy waltzes.
"And where did you last dance?" asked Wilton, as they paused for breath.
"Oh! at M----, under the great chestnut trees. There was an Austrian
band there; and, although such tyrants, they make excellent music, the
Austrians. It was so lovely and fresh that evening."
"And who were your partners--Austrian or Italian?"
"Neither; I only danced with Diego--dear, good Diego. Do not speak of
it! I want to forget now. I want to enjoy this one evening--just this
one."
There was wonderful pathos in her voice and eyes; but Wilton only said,
"Then, if you are rested, we will go on again." He could not trust
himself to say more at that moment.
When the dance was ended, Wilton, anxious to avoid drawing any notice
upon his partner, led her at once to Miss Walker, and considerably
astonished that lady by asking her for the next quadrille. For several
succeeding dances he purposely avoided Ella, while he distributed his
attentions with judicious impartiality; although he managed to see that
she danced more than once, but never with St. George, who seemed to
avoid her.
At last, the move to supper was made, and, at the same time, a gay
gallop was played, to employ the younger guests and keep them from
crowding upon their elders while in the sacred occupation of eating.
Seeing the daughters of the house deeply engaged, Wilton indulged
himself in another dance with Ella. When they ceased, the room was
wellnigh cleared.
"Now, tell me," said Wilton--his heart beating fast, for he was resolved
not to part with his companion until he had told her the passionate love
which she had inspired--till he had won her to some avowal, or promise,
or explanation--"tell me, have you had nothing all this time? No ice, or
wine, or--"
"Yes--an ice; it was very good."
"And you would like another? Come, we are more likely to find it in the
refreshment-room than at supper, and be less crowded too; unless your
mind is fixed on game pie and champagne?" While he forced himself to
speak lightly, he scarce heard his own spoken words, for listening to
the burning sentences forming themselves in his brain, and for planning
how to find some blessed opportunity of being alone with the fair girl,
whose hand, as it rested on his arm, he could not help pressing to his
side.
"No, no," she exclaimed, smiling, "I do not care for game pie; but I
should like an ice."
"Then we will make for the refreshment-room." It was nearly empty, but
not quite; one or two couples and a few waiters rendered it anything but
a desirable solitude. However, Wilton composed himself as best he could
to watch Ella eat her ice, while he solaced himself with a tumbler of
champagne. "Who have you been dancing with?" he asked, trying to make
her speak and look at him.
"I do not know. One gentleman was introduced to me by Isabel; the other
introduced himself. I liked him the best, although he is a soldier"--a
laughing glance at Wilton--"and he says he knows you."
"Oh! young Langley of the 15th, I suppose?"
"He dances very badly--much worse than you do."
"That is a very disheartening speech. I thought I rather distinguished
myself this evening; but I suppose your friend Diego could distance me
considerably."
"You mean he danced better?"--pausing, with a spoonful of ice half-way
to her lips. "Well, yes; you really dance very well; I enjoyed my dance
with you; but Diego! his dancing was superb!"
"Was he not rather old for such capering?"
"Old! Ah, no. Diego never was, never will be, old! Poor fellow! You
would like Diego, if you knew him."
"You think so?"--very doubtfully--"however, we were not to talk about
him. Let me take away your plate. And have you managed to enjoy your
evening?"
"Well, no"--looking up at him with wistful eyes--"that is the truth. It
is so terribly strange and lonely, I was thinking of stealing away when
you asked me for that galop."
"Let us go and see Donald," exclaimed Wilton, abruptly rising. "His room
opens on the other side of the conservatory, does it not?"
"But he is not there; he is gone to bed."
"Had he gone when you came away?"
"No; but he was quite worn out with his own crossness, and is, I hope,
fast asleep by this time."
"Well, I am under the impression that he is still up."
"Did any one tell you? How very wrong. He ought to be in bed. I shall
go and see."
"Yes; you had better. It is half past twelve! Let me go with you; I may
be of some use."
"Come, then," said she, frankly; and Wilton followed her, feeling that
he was about to reap the reward of the self-control by which he had won
back her confidence, which he feared his unguarded glance had shaken
when they had last met.
Ella Rivers walked quickly down the passage leading to the conservatory,
now quite deserted, the band having gone to refresh, and crossed to a
glass door, through which light still shone. "I do believe he is up. The
lamp is still burning." She opened it and stepped in. Wilton followed,
dexterously dropping the curtain as he passed through.
"No; he is gone," said Ella, looking around. "I am so glad!"
"So am I," exclaimed Wilton, most sincerely.
"How quiet and comfortable the room looks," continued his companion,
drawing off her gloves. "I shall not return to the ball; it is no place
for me; so good-night, Colonel Wilton."
"Not yet," he exclaimed, in a low, earnest tone. "Hear me first--I
cannot help speaking abruptly--I dare not lose so precious an
opportunity." He approached her as he spoke. She was standing by a
large writing-table near the fire-place, where the last embers were
dying out; she had just laid down her gloves, and, resting one hand upon
the table, looked up with a wondering, startled expression. Her total
unconsciousness of what was coming struck Wilton dumb for a moment; but
he was naturally resolute, and had the advantage of having thoroughly
made up his mind. "Although I have done my best to mask my feelings," he
resumed, speaking rapidly, but with unmistakable emotion, "fearing to
frighten you from the friendly confidence you have hitherto shown me, I
cannot hide or suppress them any longer--I must tell you I love you! I
must ask if there is a chance for me with you? I know it is audacious to
address you thus when I have had so few opportunities of making myself
known to you; but the great difficulty of seeing you, your peculiar
position, the terrible uncertainty--"
"Oh! hush, hush!" interrupted Ella, who had turned very pale, covering
her eyes with one hand and stretching out the other as if to ward off a
danger; "do not speak like that! Have I lost my only friend! I did not
dream of this--at least I only once feared it, I--"
"Feared," interrupted Wilton in his turn. "Why, am I lost? Are you
pledged to some other man that you shrink from me? Speak, Ella! If it is
so, why I must not force myself upon you. Speak to me! look at me!"
And, in his intense anxiety to ascertain the truth, he drew her hand
from her face and held it locked in both of his.
"I pledged to anyone! no indeed"--raising her eyes, by a sort of
determined effort, gravely, earnestly to his--"I never thought of such a
thing!" she returned, trying to draw away her hand.
"Then am I utterly unacceptable to you? You cannot form an idea of the
intense love you have created, or you would not speak so coldly! Ella,
there is no one to care for you as I do--no one to consult--no one to
keep you back from me! If you do not care for me now, tell me how I can
win you! do not turn away from me! I have much to explain--much to tell
you--and I dare not detain you now lest we might be interrupted, but
come to-morrow across the brae! I will be there every afternoon by the
cairn until you can manage to come, if you will only promise. For God's
sake do not refuse to hear me!" He bent over her, longing, yet not
daring, to draw her to him.
"Let my hand go," said Ella, in a low voice, and trembling very much.
Wilton instantly released it. "Go to meet you! no, I must not--I will
not." She stopped, and, pressing her hand against her heart, went on
hurriedly--"I can hear no more; I will go away now! Ah! how sorry I
am!" She moved toward a door opening into the house, but Wilton
intercepted her.
"You misunderstand me, though I cannot see why; but will you at least
promise to read what I write? Promise this, and I will not intrude upon
you any longer."
"I will," she replied faintly. Wilton bowed and stepped back; the next
instant he was alone.
Alone, and most uncomfortable. He had in some mysterious manner offended
her. He could understand her being a little startled, but--here one of
those sudden intuitions which come like a flash of summer lightning,
revealing objects shrouded in the dark of a sultry night, darted across
his misty conjectures--he had not mentioned the words "wife" or
"marriage." Could she imagine that he was only trifling with her? or
worse? The blood mounted to his cheek as the thought struck him; and
yet, painful as the idea was, it suggested hope. Her evident grief, her
visible shrinking from the word "love," did not look like absolute
indifference. She did not like to lose him as a friend, and she feared a
possible loss of respect in his adopting the character of her lover.
Then she had been so deeply impressed by the caste prejudices of the
people around her, to say nothing of the possible impertinences of Mr.
St. George Wilton, that it was not improbable she had cruelly
misinterpreted his avowal. These reflections gave him the keenest pain,
the most ardent longing to fly to Ella to pour out assurances of the
deepest, the warmest esteem, but that was impossible for the present; he
had nothing for it but to hook up the curtain again, and return to the
ball-room, planning a letter to Ella, which should leave no shadow of
doubt as to the sincerity and purity of his affection for her.
But the sound of the music, the sight of the dancers, the effort to seem
as if nothing had happened, was too much for his sell-control, and,
excusing himself to his hostess, he was soon driving home, thankful to
be out in the cold, fresh night air, which seemed to quiet his pulses
and clear his thoughts. Cost him what it might, he would never give Ella
up, unless she positively refused him, and of that he would not think.
The slight and unsatisfactory taste of open love-making which he had
snatched only served to increase the hunger for more. The indescribable,
shrinking, despairing tone and gesture with which Ella cried, "Then I
have lost you for my friend," was vividly present with him, and before
he slept that night, or rather morning, he poured forth on paper all his
love, his aspirations, that could be written. He did not, as
letter-writing heroes generally do, sacrifice a hecatomb of note-paper.
He knew what he wanted, and said it in good, terse, downright English,
stamped with so much earnestness and honesty that it would have been a
cold heart, much colder than Ella Rivers's, that could have read it
unmoved. Then, like a sensible man--for in spite of the strong love fit
upon him, and the rather insane line of conduct he had chosen to adopt,
Wilton was a sensible fellow--he set himself to wait patiently till the
following day, which might bring him a reply, or possibly a meeting with
Ella herself, which he had most urgently entreated. That she would
either write or come he felt sure, and so to while away the time he kept
a half made appointment with some of his military friends, and enjoyed a
sharp run over a stiff country with the D----shire hounds, and dined
with the mess afterwards.
He was, however, less composed next day when no letter reached him from
Ella, and no Ella appeared at the tryst. The next day was stormy, with
heavy showers, and the next was frosty--still no letter; still no
Ella--and Wilton began to fret, and champ the bit of imperious
circumstance with suppressed fury. If to-morrow brought no better luck
he would endure it no longer, but make a bold inroad upon the fortress
wherein his love--his proud, delicate darling--was held in durance vile.
The weather was still bright and clear. A light frost lay crisp and
sparkling on the short herbage and tufts of broom; the air was so
still, that the rush of the river, as it chafed against the big black
stones opposing its progress, could be heard at a considerable distance
past the cairn, where a path very little frequented branched off to a
remote hamlet over the wooded hill behind Glenraven. The low-lying
country towards Monkscleugh lay mapped out in the rarefied air, which
diminished distance and gave wondrous distinctness to all outlines. A
delicious winter's day; all sounds mellowed to a sort of metallic music
by the peculiar state of the atmosphere. But Wilton was in no mood to
enjoy the beauties of nature. He was feverish with impatience as he
walked to and fro behind the friendly shelter of the cairn, and noticed,
in the odd, mechanical way with which the mind at certain crises seems
excited into a species of double action, and while absorbed by the great
motive can yet take in and imprint indelibly upon its tablets all the
minute details of surrounding objects. He saw the picturesque roughness
of a prostrate tree; he watched the shadow of the cairn stealing
gradually further eastward; he noticed a little robin perching on a
twig, that seemed to look at him without apprehension; he gazed at a
couple of ragged, miserable goats who were feeding at a little distance,
occasionally lifting up their heads to bleat at each other. Years after
he could have described the position of these objects, though at the
moment he was scarce conscious of them. "Ten minutes to three! If she is
not here in ten minutes, I will walk on to Brosedale and find out why,"
he muttered to himself, as he walked away once more toward the hill.
When he turned he saw a slight figure, wrapped in a dark green plaid,
standing beside the tree, in the place he had just quitted.
Then--impatience, and doubt, and anger all swept away in a flood of
delight--he sprang to meet her.
"At last! I thought you would never come. And yet how good of you to
grant my request. I have lived two years since I spoke to you."
Ella smiled and colored, then turned very pale, and gently, but firmly,
drew away the hand he had taken--looking on the ground all the time. "I
could not come before," she said, in a low, unsteady voice. "To-day Sir
Peter has taken Donald with him to D----." A pause. "I am afraid you
thought me rude--unkind--but I scarcely understood you. I--" She stopped
abruptly.
"Do you understand me now?" asked Wilton, gravely, coming close to her,
and resting one foot only on the fallen tree, while he bent to look into
the sweet, pale face. "Have you read my letter?"
"Yes; many times. It has infinitely astonished me."
"Why?"
"That you should ask so great a stranger to share your life--your name.
To be with you always--till death. Is it not unwise, hasty?"
"Many--most people would say so, who were not in love. I cannot reason
or argue about it. I only know that I cannot face the idea of life
without you. Nor shall anything turn me from my determination to win
you, except your own distinct rejection."
"Is it possible you feel all this--and for me?" exclaimed Ella, stepping
back and raising her great, deep, blue, wondering eyes to his.
"I loved you from the hour we first met," said Wilton, passionately.
"For God's sake! do not speak so coldly. Are you utterly indifferent to
me? or have you met some one you can love better?"
"Neither," she replied, still looking earnestly at him. "I never loved
any one. I have often thought of loving, and feared it! it is so solemn.
But how could I love you? I have always liked to meet you and speak to
you, still I scarcely know you; and though to me such things are folly,
I know that to you and to your class there seems a great gulf fixed
between us--a gulf I never dreamed you would span."
"I do not care what the gulf, what the obstacle," cried Wilton, again
possessing himself of her hand; "I only know that no woman was ever
before necessary to my existence; high or low, you are my queen! Do not
think I should have dared to express my feelings so soon, but for the
enormous difficulty of seeing you--of meeting you. Then I feared that
you might drift away from me. I am not wanting in pluck; but, by heaven!
I never was in such a fright in my life as the other night when I began
to speak to you."
A sweet smile stole round Ella's lips and sparkled in her eyes as he
spoke. "Ah! you are not going to be inexorable," he continued, watching
with delight this favorable symptom; "if you are heart-whole I do not
quite despair."
"Colonel Wilton," she replied, again drawing away her hand, "take care
you are not acting on a mere impulse."
"You speak as if I were a thoughtless, inexperienced boy," he
interrupted, impatiently. "You forget that I was almost a man when you
were born; and as to reflecting, I have never ceased reflecting since I
met you. Believe me, I have thought of everything possible and
impossible, and the result is you must be my wife, unless you have some
insuperable objection."
"Oh, let me speak to you," she exclaimed, clasping her hands
imploringly; "speak out all my mind, and do not be offended, or
misinterpret me."
"I will listen to every syllable, and stand any amount of lecturing you
choose to bestow; but let us walk on toward the hill; you will take
cold standing here."
They moved on accordingly, Ella speaking with great, though controlled,
animation--sometimes stopping to enforce her words with slight, eloquent
gestures. Wilton's heart in his eyes, listening with his whole soul,
slowly and meditatively pulling out his long moustaches.
"Nature to nature," continued Ella. "I know I am not unworthy of you,
even if you are all you seem. But are you quite sure you will always see
as clearly through the outside of things as you do now? Ah! I have heard
and read such sad, terrible stories of change, and vain regret for what
was irremediable, that I tremble at the thought of what you might bring
upon us both. Mind to mind, heart to heart, we are equals; but the
accidents of our condition--just look at the difference between them. I
am the veriest thistledown of insignificance. I scarce know who I am
myself; and might not the day come when you will regret having
sacrificed your future to a fancy, a whim? You might be too generous to
say so, but do you think I should not know it? If I married you I would
love you, and if I loved you there would not be a shadow on your heart,
nor a variation in your mood that I should not divine. Do not ask me to
love you. I fear it! I am quiet now; my life is not very sunny, but it
is free from absolute pain. Be wise."
"I am wise," interrupted Wilton; "most wise in my resolution to let
nothing turn me from my purpose; and Ella--for I must speak to you as I
think of you--do not suppose I am offering you a very brilliant lot when
I implore you to be my wife. I am but indifferently off as a simple
gentleman, and will be positively poor when I have higher rank. Still,
if you will trust me--if you will love me--life may be very delicious.
All that you have said only makes me more eager to call you my own. I am
not afraid of changing. I have always been true to my friends--why not
to my love? It is true that you must take me somewhat on my own
recommendation; but is there no instinctive feeling in your heart that
recognizes the sincerity of mine? I have listened to all you have said,
and simply repeat--Will you be my wife, if you are free to be so?"
"I will answer frankly, yes. Oh, stay, stay! _If_ after six months'
absence you return and repeat the question--"
"Six months' absence! You are not speaking seriously! Do you think I
should consent to such banishment?"
"You must, Colonel Wilton, both for your own sake and mine. I must be
sure that the feelings you think so deep will stand some test; you
ought to prove your real need of me by absence, by steeping yourself in
the society of your own class--the women of your own class. I have a
right to ask this."
"By heaven!" cried Wilton, "you are utterly cold and indifferent, or you
would not put me to so cruel a proof."
Ella was silent, and tears stood in her eyes, while Wilton went on.
"Think of six months! six months swept clean off the few years of youth
and love and happiness we have before us! It is reckless waste! Hear me
in turn; give up this purgatory! go back to your friendly landlady. I
will meet you in London; in three or four weeks at the farthest we shall
be man and wife. I have more than three months' leave unexpired; we will
go away to Italy, or the south of France. Ella! I feel half-mad at the
idea of such a heaven. Why do you not feel as I do?"
"No, I must not, I will not," said she, turning very pale, and trembling
excessively, but letting him hold her hand in both his. "I must insist
upon your submitting to the test of absence, in justice to me."
In vain Wilton implored and almost raged; she was evidently much shaken
and disturbed, but still immovable. The utmost Wilton could win was the
shortening his time of probation to three months, during which time he
was not to write nor expect her to write. If, at the expiration of that
period, he claimed her, she would be his. If he changed, he was simply
to let the tryst go by unnoticed. The settlement of these preliminaries
brought them very near the entrance of the Brosedale plantations,
whither Ella had resolutely bent her steps. Finding his eloquence of no
avail, Wilton was rather moodily silent.
"You are angry; you think me unkind," said Ella, softly; "but however
you decide you will yet thank me."
"You do not feel as I do."
"Perhaps not; yet do not think that it costs me nothing to say good-by.
You always cheered me. I used to look for you when I came out to walk,
and when you used to come and see Donald I always felt less alone."
"If you feel all this, why do you banish me?"
"Because it is wisest and kindest; and now good-by. Yes; do go! I want
to be back in time to grow composed before Donald returns."
"Dearest, you look awfully pale. I ought not to keep you; and yet I
cannot part with you." He drew her to him most tenderly, irresistibly
impelled to breathe his adieu on her lips.
"No, no," she exclaimed, drawing back. "I dare not kiss you; a kiss to
me would be a marriage bond; do not ask it; do not hold me." He felt
how she trembled, and he released her.
"One day, Ella, you will perhaps know how much I must love to obey you.
So it must be good-by?"
"Yes; and remember you leave me perfectly free. I say it with no
arrogance or want of feeling, but if you do not return, I shall not
break my heart. I shall rather rejoice that we have escaped a great
mistake--a terrible sorrow--but if you do come back--" A soft blush
stole over her cheek--a bright smile. Wilton gazed at her, waiting
eagerly for the next words, but they did not come. "Whatever happens,"
she resumed, "I shall always remember with pleasure, with respect, that
for once you rose above the conventional gentleman into a natural, true
man." She gave him her hand for a moment, then, drawing it away from his
passionate kisses, disappeared in the fast increasing gloom of evening
among the plantations.