CHAPTER XVII.

O’ Thursday let it be: o’ Thursday, tell her,

She shall be married to this noble earl.

_Romeo and Juliet._

The news of Bertie’s proposal spread like fire in the family.

Rose had a vision of bridesmaids’ gowns and of belted earls at the

wedding. Lionel and Sidney, who always knew everything without being

told, scented wedding-cake from afar, and indulged in a great deal of

chaff _sotto voce_ at their cousin’s expense.

Adelaide was so excited when the news reached her, that she flattened

her nose with the handle of her parasol, and exclaimed with her usual

directness: “I wonder if the Norwood people will receive her.”

Like every one else, she took for granted that Judith would not be

allowed to let slip so brilliant an opportunity.

A little maidenly hesitation, a little genuine reluctance perhaps--for

Bertie was not the man to take a girl’s fancy--and Judith would give

further proof of her good sense; would open her mouth and shut her eyes

and swallow what the Fates had sent her.

Poor Mrs. Quixano, greatly agitated, vibrated between the Walterton Road

and Kensington Palace Gardens, expending quite a little fortune on blue

omnibuses.

It took a long time for her brother to convince her that Bertie’s

spurious Judaism could for a moment be accepted as the real thing.

“He is not a Jew,” she reiterated obstinately; “would you let your own

daughter marry him?”

Israel Leuniger evaded the question.

“My dear Golda, he is as much a Jew as you or I. Her father is perfectly

satisfied, as well he may be--it is a brilliant match.”

Mrs. Leuniger realized perfectly the meaning of £5000 a year. Bertie’s

other advantages, such, for instance, as his connection with the

Norwoods, had little weight with her. If he had been one of the

Cardozos, or of the Silberheims--the great Jewish bankers--she could

have understood all this fuss about his family.

“Who are the girls to marry in these days?” Mrs. Sachs said later on, as

she, Mrs. Quixano, and Mrs. Leuniger sat in consultation. “If I had

unmarried daughters I should tell them they would have to marry

Germans.”

The extreme nature of this statement did not fail to impress her

hearers.

While the matrons sat in conclave in the primrose-coloured

drawing-room, Judith up stairs in her own little domain was trying to

come to a decision on the subject of their discussion.

She had asked for time, for a few days in which to make up her mind, and

of these, three had already gone by. But from the first there had always

been this thing in her mind, this thing from which she shrank--that she

would marry Bertie.

Her loneliness, her utter isolation of spirit in that crowded house

where she was for the moment a centre of interest, a mark for

observation, are difficult to realize. A severance of home ties had been

to a certain extent involved in her change of homes. Her nearest

approach to intimate women friends were Rose and Esther. As for the one

friend who had wound his way into her reserved, exclusive soul, who had

made a path into her inclosed, restricted life, he was her friend no

more.

Reuben, oh, humiliation! had shown her plainly that he was afraid of

her; afraid of any claims she might choose to base on the friendship

which had existed between them. There was always this thought in her

mind goading her.

On the faces round her she read nothing but anxiety that she would make

up her mind without delay. She knew what was expected of her.

Sometimes she thought she could have borne it better if some one had

said outright:

“We know that you love Reuben; that Reuben loves you after a fashion.

But it is no good crying for the moon; take your half loaf and be

thankful for it.”

It was this absolute, stony ignoring of all that had gone before which

seemed to crush the life out of her.

She was growing to feel that in loving Reuben she had committed a crime

too shameful for decent people even to speak of.

That Reuben had ever loved her she now doubted. It had all been a

chimera of the emotional female brain, of which Reuben, who was subject,

as we know, to occasional lapses of taste, had often confided to her his

contempt. Yet even now there were moments when, remembering all that had

gone before, it seemed to her impossible that Reuben should do long

without her.

If she flew in the face of nature and said “Yes” to Bertie, surely he

would come forward and protest against such an outrage.

Every day she devoured the scraps of news which the papers contained

respecting the coming election at St. Baldwin’s.

Sometimes her mind dwelt on the splendours of the prospect held out

before her; splendours which, in her ignorance, she was disposed to

exaggerate. Reuben, climbing to those social heights, which for herself

she had always deemed inaccessible, Reuben reaching the summit, would

find her there before him. That would impress him greatly, she knew.

Let this thought be forgiven her; let it be remembered who was her hero,

and how little choice there had been for her in the matter of heroes.

Yet such are the contradictions of our nature, that had the Admirable

Crichton stood before her, Don Quixote, or Sir Galahad himself, I cannot

answer for Judith that she would not have turned from them to the mixed,

imperfect human creature--Reuben Sachs.

So she sat there swaying this way and that, and then the door opened and

her mother came in. Mrs. Quixano, we know, was not pleased at heart, but

she had become very anxious for the marriage.

Judith listened passively as the advantages of her future position were

laid before her.

Then she made her protest, fully conscious of its weakness.

“I do not like Mr. Lee-Harrison.”

“Of course not,” said Mrs. Quixano. “I should be sorry to hear that you

did. No girl likes her intended--at first.”

Judith bowed her head, conscious, ashamed.

Only that afternoon Rose had said to her:

“We all have to marry the men we don’t care for. I shall, I know,

although I have a lot of money. I am not sure that it is not best in the

end.”

And she sighed, as a red-headed, cousinly vision rose before her mental

sight.

“You are coming home with me,” went on Mrs. Quixano, “then we can talk

it over comfortably. You mustn’t keep the poor man waiting much

longer.”

Mrs. Leuniger came in as Judith was tying her bonnet strings.

“Judith is coming with me,” said her mother.

Aunt Ada drifted slowly across the room to where Judith was standing.

She looked at her with her miserable eyes, rubbing her hands together as

she said:

“You had better write to Mr. Lee-Harrison before you go. You won’t get

such an opportunity as this every day.”

Judith stared at her aunt in a sort of desperation.

She, too? Aunt Ada, who all the days of her life had known wealth,

splendour, importance, and, as far as could be seen, had never enjoyed

an hour’s happiness!

She looked at the dejected, untidy figure, with the load of diamonds on

the fingers, the rich lace round neck and wrists, the crumpled gown of

costly silk.

Aunt Ada still believed in these things then; in diamonds, lace and

silk? Did not wring her hands and cry, “all is vanity!”

Hers was truly an astonishing manifestation of faith.

* * * * *

Judith sat in her father’s study in the Walterton Road.

On the desk before her lay the letter which she had written and sealed

to Mr. Lee-Harrison, containing her acceptance of his offer.

A certain relief had come with the deed. She had opened up for herself a

new field of action; she would be reinstated in the eyes of her world,

in Reuben’s eyes, in her own.

She was so strong, so cruelly vital that it never for an instant

occurred to her that she might pine and fade under her misery. She

would have laughed to scorn such a thought.

Not thus could she hope for escape. A new field of action--there lay her

best chance.

Her father came up to her and put his hand on her shoulder. She lifted

her mournful glance to his; the kind, vague regard was inexpressibly

soothing after the battery of eyes to which she had been recently

exposed.

“I hope, my dear,” said Joshua Quixano, “that you are quite happy in

this engagement?”

“Oh, yes, papa,” answered Judith; but suddenly, as she spoke, the tears

welled to her eyes and poured down her face.

Such a display of feeling on her part was without precedent. Both father

and daughter were exceedingly shy, though in neither case with that

shyness which manifests itself in outward physical flutter.

Mr. Quixano, deeply moved, stretched out his arms, and putting them

about her, drew her close against him.

“My dear girl, my dear girl, you are not to do this unless you are sure

it is for your happiness. Remember, there is always a home for you here.

You can always come back to us.”

She let her face lie on his breast, while the tears flowed unchecked.

His words, the kind, timid, caressing movements with which he

accompanied them were sweet to her, though in the depths of her heart

she knew that there was no turning back.

Material advantage; things that you could touch and see and talk about;

that these were the only things which really mattered, had been the

unspoken gospel of her life.

Now and then you allowed yourself the luxury of a fine sentiment in

speech, but when it came to the point, to take the best that you could

get for yourself was the only course open to a person of sense.

The push, the struggle, the hunger and greed of her world rose vividly

before her. Wealth, power, success--a flaunting success for all men to

see; had she not believed in these things as the most desirable on

earth? Had she not always wished them to fall to the lot of the person

dearest to her? Did she not believe in them still? Was she not doing her

best to secure them for herself?

But she was Joshua Quixano’s daughter--was it possible that she cared

for none of these things?

Reuben Sachs · 第 17 / 19 章