He went forth, seeking.
The Schofield household was catless this winter but there was a nice
white cat at the Williams'. Penrod strolled thoughtfully over to the
Williams's yard.
He was entirely successful, not even having been seen by the sensitive
coloured woman, aged fifty-three years and four months.
But still Penrod was thoughtful. The artist within him was unsatisfied
with his materials: and upon his return to the stable he placed the
cat beneath an overturned box, and once more sat down in the inspiring
wheelbarrow, pondering. His expression, concentrated and yet a little
anxious, was like that of a painter at work upon a portrait that may or
may not turn out to be a masterpiece. The cat did not disturb him by her
purring, though she was, indeed, already purring. She was one of those
cozy, youngish cats--plump, even a little full-bodied, perhaps, and
rather conscious of the figure--that are entirely conventional and
domestic by nature, and will set up a ladylike housekeeping anywhere
without making a fuss about it. If there be a fault in these cats,
overcomplacency might be the name for it; they err a shade too sure
of themselves, and their assumption that the world means to treat them
respectfully has just a little taint of the grande dame. Consequently,
they are liable to great outbreaks of nervous energy from within,
engendered by the extreme surprises that life sometimes holds in store
for them. They lack the pessimistic imagination.
Mrs. Williams's cat was content upon a strange floor and in the
confining enclosure of a strange box. She purred for a time, then
trustfully fell asleep. 'Twas well she slumbered; she would need all her
powers presently.
She slumbered, and dreamed not that she would wake to mingle with events
that were to alter her serene disposition radically and cause her to
become hasty-tempered and abnormally suspicious for the rest of her
life.
Meanwhile, Penrod appeared to reach a doubtful solution of his problem.
His expression was still somewhat clouded as he brought from the
storeroom of the stable a small fragment of a broken mirror, two paint
brushes and two old cans, one containing black paint and the other
white. He regarded himself earnestly in the mirror; then, with some
reluctance, he dipped a brush into one of the cans, and slowly painted
his nose a midnight black. He was on the point of spreading this
decoration to cover the lower part of his face, when he paused, brush
halfway between can and chin.
What arrested him was a sound from the alley--a sound of drumming upon
tin. The eyes of Penrod became significant of rushing thoughts; his
expression cleared and brightened. He ran to the alley doors and flung
them open.
“Oh, Verman!” he shouted.
Marching up and down before the cottage across the alley, Verman plainly
considered himself to be an army. Hanging from his shoulders by a string
was an old tin wash-basin, whereon he beat cheerily with two dry bones,
once the chief support of a chicken. Thus he assuaged his ennui.
“Verman, come on in here,” Penrod called. “I got sumpthing for you to do
you'll like awful well.”
Verman halted, ceased to drum, and stared. His gaze was not fixed
particularly upon Penrod's nose, however, and neither now nor later did
he make any remark or gesture referring to this casual eccentricity. He
expected things like that upon Penrod or Sam Williams. And as for Penrod
himself, he had already forgotten that his nose was painted.
“Come on, Verman!”
Verman continued to stare, not moving. He had received such invitations
before, and they had not always resulted to his advantage. Within that
stable things had happened to him the like of which he was anxious to
avoid in the future.
“Oh, come ahead, Verman!” Penrod urged, and, divining logic in the
reluctance confronting him, he added, “This ain't goin' to be anything
like last time, Verman. I got sumpthing just SPLENDUD for you to do!”
Verman's expression hardened; he shook his head decisively.
“Mo,” he said.
“Oh, COME on, Verman?” Penrod pleaded. “It isn't anything goin' to HURT
you, is it? I tell you it's sumpthing you'd give a good deal to GET to
do, if you knew what it is.”
“Mo!” said Verman firmly. “I mome maw woo!”
Penrod offered arguments.
“Look, Verman!” he said. “Listen here a minute, can't you? How d'you
know you don't want to until you know what it is? A person CAN'T know
they don't want to do a thing even before the other person tells 'em
what they're goin' to get 'em to do, can they? For all you know, this
thing I'm goin' to get you to do might be sumpthing you wouldn't miss
doin' for anything there is! For all you know, Verman, it might be
sumpthing like this: well, f'rinstance, s'pose I was standin' here,
and you were over there, sort of like the way you are now, and I says,
'Hello, Verman!' and then I'd go on and tell you there was sumpthing
I was goin' to get you to do; and you'd say you wouldn't do it, even
before you heard what it was, why where'd be any sense to THAT? For all
you know, I might of been goin' to get you to eat a five-cent bag o'
peanuts.”
Verman had listened obdurately until he heard the last few words; but
as they fell upon his ear, he relaxed, and advanced to the stable doors,
smiling and extending his open right hand.
“Aw wi,” he said. “Gi'm here.”
“Well,” Penrod returned, a trifle embarrassed, “I didn't say it WAS
peanuts, did I? Honest, Verman, it's sumpthing you'll like better'n a
few old peanuts that most of 'em'd prob'ly have worms in 'em, anyway.
All I want you to do is--”
But Verman was not favourably impressed; his face hardened again.
“Mo!” he said, and prepared to depart.
“Look here, Verman,” Penrod urged. “It isn't goin' to hurt you just to
come in here and see what I got for you, is it? You can do that much,
can't you?”
Surely such an appeal must have appeared reasonable, even to Verman,
especially since its effect was aided by the promising words, “See what
I got for you.” Certainly Verman yielded to it, though perhaps a little
suspiciously. He advanced a few cautious steps into the stable.
“Look!” Penrod cried, and he ran to the stuffed and linked stockings,
seized the leading-string, and vigorously illustrated his further
remarks. “How's that for a big, long, ugly-faced horr'ble black ole
snake, Verman? Look at her follow me all round anywhere I feel like
goin'! Look at her wiggle, will you, though? Look how I make her do
anything I tell her to. Lay down, you ole snake, you--See her lay down
when I tell her to, Verman? Wiggle, you ole snake, you! See her wiggle,
Verman?”
“Hi!” Undoubtedly Verman felt some pleasure.
“Now, listen, Verman!” Penrod continued, hastening to make the most of
the opportunity. “Listen! I fixed up this good ole snake just for you.
I'm goin' to give her to you.”
“HI!”
On account of a previous experience not unconnected with cats, and
likely to prejudice Verman, Penrod decided to postpone mentioning Mrs.
Williams's pet until he should have secured Verman's cooperation in the
enterprise irretrievably.
“All you got to do,” he went on, “is to chase this good ole snake
around, and sort o' laugh and keep pokin' it with the handle o' that
rake yonder. I'm goin' to saw it off just so's you can poke your good
ole snake with it, Verman.”
“Aw wi,” said Verman, and, extending his open hand again, he uttered a
hopeful request. “Peamup?”
His host perceived that Verman had misunderstood him. “Peanuts!” he
exclaimed. “My goodness! I didn't say I HAD any peanuts, did I? I only
said s'pose f'rinstance I DID have some. My goodness! You don't expeck
me to go round here all day workin' like a dog to make a good ole snake
for you and then give you a bag o' peanuts to hire you to play with it,
do you, Verman? My goodness!”
Verman's hand fell, with a little disappointment.
“Aw wi,” he said, consenting to accept the snake without the bonus.
“That's the boy! NOW we're all right, Verman; and pretty soon I'm goin'
to saw that rake-handle off for you, too; so's you can kind o' guide
your good ole snake around with it; but first--well, first there's just
one more thing's got to be done. I'll show you--it won't take but a
minute.” Then, while Verman watched him wonderingly, he went to the can
of white paint and dipped a brush therein. “It won't get on your clo'es
much, or anything, Verman,” he explained. “I only just got to--”
But as he approached, dripping brush in hand, the wondering look was all
gone from Verman; determination took its place.
“Mo!” he said, turned his back, and started for outdoors.
“Look here, Verman,” Penrod cried. “I haven't done anything to you yet,
have I? It isn't goin' to hurt you, is it? You act like a little teeny
bit o' paint was goin' to kill you. What's the matter of you? I only
just got to paint the top part of your face; I'm not goin' to TOUCH the
other part of it--nor your hands or anything. All _I_ want--”
“MO!” said Verman from the doorway.
“Oh, my goodness!” moaned Penrod; and in desperation he drew forth from
his pocket his entire fortune. “All right, Verman,” he said resignedly.
“If you won't do it any other way, here's a nickel, and you can go and
buy you some peanuts when we get through. But if I give you this money,
you got to promise to wait till we ARE through, and you got to promise
to do anything I tell you to. You goin' to promise?”
The eyes of Verman glistened; he returned, gave bond, and, grasping the
coin, burst into the rich laughter of a gourmand.
Penrod immediately painted him dead white above the eyes, all round his
head and including his hair. It took all the paint in the can.
Then the artist mentioned the presence of Mrs. Williams's cat, explained
in full his ideas concerning the docile animal, and the long black
snake, and Della and her friend, Mrs. Cullen, while Verman listened with
anxiety, but remained true to his oath.
They removed the stocking at the end of the long black snake, and cut
four holes in the foot and ankle of it. They removed the excelsior,
placed Mrs. Williams's cat in the stocking, shook her down into the
lower section of it; drew her feet through the four holes there, leaving
her head in the toe of the stocking; then packed the excelsior down on
top of her, and once more attached the stocking to the rest of the long,
black snake.
How shameful is the ease of the historian! He sits in his dressing-gown
to write: “The enemy attacked in force--” The tranquil pen, moving in a
cloud of tobacco smoke, leaves upon the page its little hieroglyphics,
serenely summing up the monstrous deeds and sufferings of men of action.
How cold, how niggardly, to state merely that Penrod and the painted
Verman succeeded in giving the long, black snake a motive power, or
tractor, apparently its own but consisting of Mrs. Williams's cat!
She was drowsy when they lifted her from the box; she was still drowsy
when they introduced part of her into the orifice of the stocking; but
she woke to full, vigorous young life when she perceived that their
purpose was for her to descend into the black depths of that stocking
head first.
Verman held the mouth of the stocking stretched, and Penrod manipulated
the cat; but she left her hearty mark on both of them before, in a
moment of unfortunate inspiration, she humped her back while she was
upside down, and Penrod took advantage of the concavity to increase it
even more than she desired. The next instant she was assisted downward
into the gloomy interior, with excelsior already beginning to block the
means of egress.
Gymnastic moments followed; there were times when both boys hurled
themselves full-length upon the floor, seizing the animated stocking
with far-extended hands; and even when the snake was a complete thing,
with legs growing from its unquestionably ugly face, either Penrod
or Verman must keep a grasp upon it, for it would not be soothed, and
refused, over and over, to calm itself, even when addressed as, “Poor
pussy!” and “Nice 'ittle kitty!”
Finally, they thought they had their good ole snake “about quieted
down”, as Penrod said, because the animated head had remained in one
place for an unusual length of time, though the legs produced a rather
sinister effect of crouching, and a noise like a distant planing-mill
came from the interior--and then Duke appeared in the doorway. He was
still feeling lively.