STRENGTHENED BY FAITH
ONE day the doctor coming in found me on the sofa, and was surprised to
learn that with assistance I had walked downstairs. "Now," he said, "the
best thing you can go is to get off to the country as soon as you feel
equal to the journey. You must rusticate until you have recovered a fair
amount of health and strength, for if you begin your work too soon the
consequences may still be serious." When he had left, as I lay very
exhausted on the sofa, I just told the LORD all about it, and that I was
refraining from making my circumstances known to those who would delight
to meet my need, in order that my faith might be strengthened by
receiving help from Himself in answer to prayer alone. What was I to do?
And I waited for His answer.
It seemed to me as if He were directing my mind to the conclusion to go
again to the shipping office, and inquire about the wages I had been
unable to draw. I reminded the LORD that I could not afford to take a
conveyance, and that it did not seem at all likely that I should succeed
in getting the money, and asked whether this impulse was not a mere
clutching at a straw, some mental process of my own, rather than His
guidance and teaching. After prayer, however, and renewed waiting upon
GOD, I was confirmed in my belief that He Himself was teaching me to go
to the office.
The next question was, "How am I to go?" I had had to seek help in
coming downstairs, and the place was at least two miles away. The
assurance was brought vividly home to me that whatever I asked of GOD in
the name of CHRIST would be done, that the FATHER might be glorified in
the SON; that what I had to do was to seek strength for the long walk,
to receive it by faith, and to set out upon it. Unhesitatingly I told
the LORD that I was quite willing to take the walk if He would give me
the strength. I asked in the name of CHRIST that the strength might be
immediately given; and sending the servant up to my room for my hat and
stick, I set out, not to _attempt_ to walk, but TO WALK to Cheapside.
Although undoubtedly strengthened by faith, I never took so much
interest in shop windows as I did upon that journey. At every second or
third step I was glad to lean a little against the plate glass, and take
time to examine the contents of the windows before passing on. It needed
a special effort of faith when I got to the bottom of Farringdon Street
to attempt the toilsome ascent of Snow Hill: there was no Holborn
Viaduct in those days, and it had to be done. GOD did wonderfully help
me, and in due time I reached Cheapside, turned into the by-street in
which the office was found, and sat down much exhausted on the steps
leading to the first floor, which was my destination. I felt my position
to be a little peculiar--sitting there on the steps, so evidently
spent--and the gentlemen who rushed up and downstairs looked at me with
an inquiring gaze. After a little rest, however, and a further season of
prayer, I succeeded in climbing the staircase, and to my comfort found
in the office the clerk with whom I had hitherto dealt in the matter.
Seeing me looking pale and exhausted, he kindly inquired as to my
health, and I told him that I had had a serious illness, and was ordered
to the country, but thought it well to call first, and make further
inquiry, lest there should have been any mistake about the mate having
run off to the gold diggings. "Oh," he said, "I am so glad you have
come, for it turns out that it was an able seaman of the same name that
ran away. The mate is still on board; the ship has just reached
Gravesend, and will be up very soon. I shall be glad to give you the
half-pay up to date, for doubtless it will reach his wife more safely
through you. We all know what temptations beset the men when they arrive
at home after a voyage."
Before, however, giving me the sum of money, he insisted upon my coming
inside and sharing his lunch. I felt it was the LORD indeed who was
providing for me, and accepted his offer with thankfulness. When I was
refreshed and rested, he gave me a sheet of paper to write a few lines
to the wife, telling her of the circumstances. On my way back I procured
in Cheapside a money order for the balance due to her, and posted it;
and returning home again, felt myself now quite justified in taking an
omnibus as far as it would serve me.
Very much better the next morning, after seeing to some little matters
that I had to settle, I made my way to the surgery of the doctor who had
attended me, feeling that, although my uncle was prepared to pay the
bill, it was right for me, now that I had some money in hand, to ask for
the account myself. The kind surgeon refused to allow me, as a medical
student, to pay anything for his attendance: but he had supplied me with
quinine, which he allowed me to pay for to the extent of eight
shillings. When that was settled, I saw that the sum left was just
sufficient to take me home; and to my mind the whole thing seemed a
wonderful interposition of GOD on my behalf.
I knew that the surgeon was sceptical, and told him that I should very
much like to speak to him freely, if I might do so without offence; that
I felt that under GOD I owed my life to his kind care, and wished very
earnestly that he himself might become a partaker of the same precious
faith that I possessed. So I told him my reason for being in London, and
about my circumstances, and why I had declined the help of both my
father and the officers of the Society in connection with which it was
probable that I should go to China. I told him of the recent
providential dealings of GOD with me, and how apparently hopeless my
position had been the day before, when he had ordered me to go to the
country, unless I would reveal my need, which I had determined not to
do. I described to him the mental exercises I had gone through; but when
I added that I had actually got up from the sofa and walked to
Cheapside, he looked at me incredulously, and "Impossible! Why, I left
you lying there more like a ghost than a man." And I had to assure him
again and again that, strengthened by faith, the walk had really been
taken. I told him also what money was left to me, and what payments
there had been to make, and showed him that just sufficient remained to
take me home to Yorkshire, providing for needful refreshment by the way
and the omnibus journey at the end.
My kind friend was completely broken down, and said with tears in his
eyes, "I would give all the world for a faith like yours." I, on the
other hand, had the joy of telling him that it was to be obtained
without money and without price. We never met again. When I came back to
town, restored to health and strength, I found that he had had a
stroke, and left for the country; and I subsequently learned that he
never rallied. I was able to gain no information as to his state of mind
when taken away; but I have always felt very thankful that I had the
opportunity, and embraced it, of bearing that testimony for GOD. I
cannot but entertain the hope that the MASTER Himself was speaking to
him through His dealings with me, and that I shall meet him again in the
Better Land. It would be no small joy to be welcomed by him, when my own
service is over.
The next day found me in my dear parents' home. My joy in the LORD's
help and deliverance was so great that I was unable to keep it to
myself, and before my return to London my dear mother knew the secret of
my life for some time past. I need scarcely say that when I went up
again to town I was not allowed to live--as, indeed, I was not fit to
live--on the same economical lines as before my illness. I needed more
now, and the LORD did provide.
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