don't know what you mean by plaintiff or defendant. I come to speak for
me friend," pointing to the prisoner.
"You're a pretty fellow for a witness," said the counsel, "not to know
what plaintiff or defendant means."
Later in the trial the counsel asked the sailor what part of the ship he
was in at the time of the murder.
"Abaft the binnacle, me lord," said the sailor.
"Abaft the binnacle?" replied the barrister. "What part of the ship is
that?"
"Ain't you a pretty feller for a counsellor," said the sailor, grinning
at the counsel, "not to know what abaft the binnacle is!"
The court laughed.
* * * * *
EASILY SATISFIED.
There was once a mandarin who was excessively fond of jewels, and always
walked abroad with his robe covered with the sparkling gems. One day he
was accosted by an old bonze, who, following him through the street,
bowed himself often to the ground and thanked the mandarin for his
jewels.
"What does the man mean?" cried the mandarin, in great alarm. Then
addressing the bonze, he said, "I never gave you any jewels, man!"
"No," replied the bonze, "but you have let me look at them, and that is
all the use you can make of them yourself, so there is no difference
between us, except that you have the trouble of guarding them, a task I
should not care for."
* * * * *
In a book of travels written by a Mr. Barrow we find this interesting
bit of information. A Hottentot was seen to apply the short end of his
wooden tobacco-pipe to the mouth of a snake when the reptile was darting
out its tongue. Death was instantaneous, the effect almost like an
electric shock; with a convulsive motion that lasted only for a moment
the snake half untwisted itself, and then became still. And upon
examination the muscles were found to be so contracted that the snake
felt as hard as if it had been dried in the sun.
* * * * *
Frederick the Great of Prussia used to tell a laughable story of an
experience of his own. During one of his campaigns in Silesia, he made
it his habit to stroll through his camp in disguise at night, to come
more in touch with his soldiers. One night he was stopped by a sentry,
but, giving the proper password, was permitted to proceed. Instead of
doing so, however, he endeavored to tempt the sentry into accepting a
cigar, saying that a smoke would solace his long watch.
"It is against the rules," said the soldier.
"But you have my permission," said Frederick.
"Your permission!" cried the soldier. "And who are you?"
"I am the King."
"The King be hanged!" said the incorruptible sentry. "What would my
Captain say?"
* * * * *
AN EMBARRASSING REQUEST.
[Illustration: "WILL YOU KINDLY LEND US YOUR BRUSH FOR A MOMENT, SIR
REYNARD? YOU KNOW A BEAVER NEVER LOOKS NEAT UNLESS WELL BRUSHED."]
End of Project Gutenberg's Harper's Round Table, December 1, 1896, by Various