"I will spare you the pains. They say that I am ever athirs

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A THORNY PATH

By Georg Ebers

Volume 7.

CHAPTER XXI.

The high-priest of Serapis presided over the sacrifices to be offered

this morning. Caesar had given beasts in abundance to do honor to the

god; still, the priest had gone but ill-disposed to fulfill his part; for

the imperial command that the citizens' houses should be filled with the

troops, who were also authorized to make unheard-of demands on their

hosts, had roused his ire against the tyrant, who, in the morning, after

his bath, had appeared to him unhappy indeed, but at the same time a

gifted and conscientious ruler, capable of the highest and grandest

enterprise.

Melissa, in obedience to the lady Euryale, had taken an hour's rest, and

then refreshed herself by bathing. She now was breakfasting with her

venerated friend, and Philostratus had joined them. He was able to tell

them that a swift State galley was already on its way to overtake and

release her father and brother; and when he saw how glad she was to hear

it, how beautiful, fresh, and pure she was, he thought to himself with

anxiety that it would be a wonder if the imperial slave to his own

passions should not desire to possess this lovely creature.

Euryale also feared this, and Melissa realized what filled them with

anxiety; yet she by no means shared the feeling, and the happy confidence

with which she tried to comfort her old friends, at the same time

pacified and alarmed them. It seemed to her quite foolish and vain to

suppose that the emperor, the mighty ruler of the world, should fall in

love with her, the humble, obscure gem-cutter's child, who aspired to one

suitor alone. It was merely as a patient wishes for the physician, she

assured herself, that the emperor wished for her presence--Philostratus

had understood that. During the night she had certainly been seized with

great fears, but, as she now thought, without any cause. What she really

had to dread was that she might be falsely judged by his followers;

still, she cared nothing about all these Romans. However, she would beg

Euryale to see Diodoros, and to tell him what forced her to obey the

emperor's summons, if he should send for her. It was highly probable

that the sick man had been informed of her interview with Caracalla, and,

as her betrothed, he must be told how she felt toward Caesar; for this

was his right, and jealous agitation might injure him.

Her face so expressed the hope and confidence of a pure heart that when,

after a little time, she withdrew, Euryale said to the philosopher:

"We must not alarm her more! Her trustful innocence perhaps may protect

her better than anxious precautions."

And Philostratus agreed, and assured her that in any case he expected

good results for Melissa, for she was one of those who were the elect of

the gods and whom they chose to be their instruments. And then he

related what wonderful influence she had over Caesar's sufferings, and

praised her with his usual enthusiastic warmth.

When Melissa returned, Philostratus had left the matron. She was again

alone with Euryale, who reminded her of the lesson conveyed in the

Christian words that she had explained to her yesterday. Every deed,

every thought, had some influence on the way in which the fulfillment of

time would come for each one; and when the hour of death was over, no

regrets, repentance, or efforts could then alter the past. A single

moment, as her own young experience had taught her, was often sufficient

to brand the name of an estimable man. Till now, her way through life

had led along level paths, through meadows and gardens, and others had

kept their eyes open for her; now she was drawing near to the edge of a

precipice, and at every turning, even at the smallest step, she must

never forget the threatening danger. The best will and the greatest

prudence could not save her if she did not trust to a higher guidance;

and then she asked the girl to whom she raised her heart when she prayed;

and Melissa named Isis and other gods, and lastly the manes of her dead

mother.

During this confession, old Adventus appeared, to summon the girl to his

sovereign. Melissa promised to follow him immediately; and, when the old

man had gone, the matron said:

"Few here pray to the same gods, and he whose worship my husband leads is

not mine. I, with several others, know that there is a Father in heaven

who loves us men, his creatures, and guards us as his children. You do

not yet know him, and therefore you can not hope for anything from him;

but if you will follow the advice of a friend, who was also once young,

think in the future that your right hand is held firmly by the invisible,

beloved hand of your mother. Persuade yourself that she is by you, and

take care that every word, yes, every glance, meets with her approval.

Then she will be there, and will protect you whenever you require her

aid."

Melissa sank on the breast of her kind friend, embracing her as closely

and kissing her as sincerely as if she had been the beloved mother to

whose care Euryale had commended her,

The counsels of this true friend agreed with those of her own heart, and

so they must be right. When at last they had to part, Euryale wished to

send for one of the gentlemen of the court, whom she knew, that he might

escort her through the troops of Caesar's attendants and friends who were

waiting, and of the visitors and petitioners; but Melissa felt so happy

and so well protected by Adventus, that she followed him without further

delay. In fact, the old man had a friendly feeling for her, since she

had covered his feet so carefully the day before; she knew it by the tone

of his voice and by the troubled look in his dim eyes.

Even now she did not believe in the dangers at which her friends trembled

for her, and she walked calmly across the lofty marble halls, the

anteroom, and the other vast rooms of the imperial dwelling. The

attendants accompanied her respectfully from door to door, in obedience

to the emperor's commands, and she went on with a firm step, looking

straight in front of her, without noticing the inquisitive, approving,

or scornful glances which were aimed at her.

In the first rooms she needed an escort, for they were crowded with

Romans and Alexandrians who were waiting for a sign from Caesar to appeal

for his pardon or his verdict, or perhaps only wishing to see his

countenance. The emperor's "friends" sat at breakfast, of which

Caracalla did not partake. The generals, and the members of his court

not immediately attached to his person, stood together in the various

rooms, while the principal people of Alexandria--several senators and

rich and important citizens of the town--as well as the envoys of the

Egyptian provinces, in magnificent garments and rich gold ornaments, held

aloof from the Romans, and waited in groups for the call of the usher.

Melissa saw no one, nor did she observe the costly woven hangings on the

walls, the friezes decorated with rare works of art and high reliefs, nor

the mosaic floors over which she passed. She did not notice the hum and

murmur of the numerous voices which surrounded her; nor could she indeed

have understood a single coherent sentence; for, excepting the ushers and

the emperor's immediate attendants, at the reception-hour no one was

allowed to raise his voice. Expectancy and servility seemed here to

stifle every lively impulse; and when, now and then, the loud call of

one of the ushers rang above the murmur, one of those who were waiting

spontaneously bowed low, or another started up, as if ready to obey any

command. The sensation, shared by many, of waiting in the vicinity of a

high, almost godlike power, in whose hands lay their well-being or

misery, gave rise to a sense of solemnity. Every movement was subdued;

anxious, nay, fearful expectation was written on many faces, and on

others impatience and disappointment. After a little while it was

whispered from ear to ear that the emperor would only grant a few more

audiences; and how many had already waited in vain yesterday, for hours,

in the same place!

Without delay Melissa went on till she had reached the heavy curtain

which, as she already knew, shut off Caesar's inner apartments.

The usher obligingly drew it back, even before she had mentioned her

name, and while a deputation of the town senators, who had been received

by Caracalla, passed out, she was followed by Alexandrian citizens, the

chiefs of great merchant-houses, whose request for an audience he had

sanctioned. They were for the most part elderly men, and Melissa

recognized among them Seleukus, Berenike's husband.

Melissa bowed to him, but he did not notice her, and passed by without a

word. Perhaps he was considering the enormous sum to be expended on the

show at night which he, with a few friends, intended to arrange at the

circus in Caesar's honor.

All was quite still in the large hall which separated the emperor's

reception-room from the anteroom. Melissa observed only two soldiers,

who were looking out of window, and whose bodies were shaking as though

they were convulsed with profound merriment.

It happened that she had to wait here some time; for the usher begged her

to have patience until the merchants' audience was over. They were the

last who would be received that day. He invited her to rest on the couch

on which was spread a bright giraffe's skin, but she preferred to walk up

and down, for her heart was beating violently. And while the usher

vanished from the room, one of the warriors turned his head to look about

him, and directly he caught sight of Melissa he gave his comrade a push,

and said to him, loud enough for Melissa to hear:

"A wonder! Apollonaris, by Eros and all the Erotes, a precious wonder!"

The next moment they both stepped back from the window and stared at the

girl, who stood blushing and embarrassed, and gazed at the floor when she

found with whom she had been left alone.

They were two tribunes of the praetorians, but, notwithstanding their

high grade, they were only young men of about twenty. Twin brothers of

the honorable house of the Aurelia, they had entered the army as

centurions, but had soon been placed at the head of a thousand men, and

appointed tribunes in Caesar's body-guard. They resembled one another

exactly; and this likeness, which procured them much amusement, they

greatly enhanced by arranging their coal-black beards and hair in exactly

the same way, and by dressing alike down to the rings on their fingers.

One was called Apollonaris, the other Nemesianus Aurelius. They were of

the same height, and equally well grown, and no one could say which had

the finest black eyes, which mouth the haughtiest smile, or to which of

them the thick short beard and the artistically shaved spot between the

under lip and chin was most becoming. The beautifully embossed ornaments

on their breast-plates and shirts of mail, and on the belt of the short

sword, showed that they grudged no expense; in fact, they thought only of

enjoyment, and it was merely for the honor of it that they were serving

for a few years in the imperial guard. By and by they would rest, after

all the hardships of the campaign, in their palace at Rome, or in the

villas on the various estates that they had inherited from their father

and mother, and then, for a change, hold honorary positions in the public

service. Their friends knew that they also contemplated being married on

the same day, when the game of war should be a thing of the past.

In the mean time they desired nothing in the world but honor and

pleasure; and such pleasure as well-bred, healthy, and genial youths,

with amiability, strength, and money to spend, can always command, they

enjoyed to the full, without carrying it to reckless extravagance. Two

merrier, happier, more popular comrades probably did not exist in the

whole army. They did their duty in the field bravely; during peace, and

in a town like Alexandria, they appeared, on the contrary, like mere

effeminate men of fashion. At least, they spent a large part of their

time in having their black hair crimped; they gave ridiculous sums to

have it anointed with the most delicate perfumes; and it was difficult to

imagine how effectively their carefully kept hands could draw a sword,

and, if necessary, handle the hatchet or spade.

To-day Nemesianus was in the emperor's anteroom by command, and

Apollonaris, of his own freewill, had taken the place of another tribune,

that he might bear his brother company. They had caroused through half

the night, and had begun the new day by a visit to the flower market,

for love of the pretty saleswomen. Each had a half-opened rose stuck in

between his cuirass and shirt of mail on the left breast, plucked, as the

charming Daphnion had assured them, from a bush which had been introduced

from Persia only the year before. The brothers, at any rate, had never

seen any like them.

While they were looking out of the window they had passed the time by

examining every girl or woman who went by, intending to fling one rose at

the first whose perfect beauty should claim it, and the other flower at

the second; but during the half-hour none had appeared who was worthy of

such a gift. All the beauties in Alexandria were walking in the streets

in the cool hour before sunset, and really there was no lack of handsome

girls. The brothers had even heard that Caesar, who seemed to have

renounced the pleasures of love, had yielded to the charms of a lovely

Greek.

Directly they saw Melissa they were convinced that they had met the

beautiful plaything of the imperial fancy, and each with the same action

offered her his rose, as if moved by the same invisible power.

Apollonaris, who had come into the world a little sooner than his

brother, and who, by right of birth, had therefore a more audacious

manner, stepped boldly up to Melissa and presented his, while Nemesianus

at the same instant bowed to her, and begged her to give his the

preference.

Though their speeches were flattering and well-worded, Melissa repulsed

them by remarking sharply that she did not want their flowers.

"We can easily believe that," answered Apollonaris, "for are you not

yourself a lovely, blooming rose?"

"Vain flattery," replied Melissa; "and I certainly do not bloom for you."

"That is both cruel and unjust," sighed Nemesianus, "for that which you

refuse to us poor fellows you grant to another, who can obtain everything

that other mortals yearn for."

"But we," interrupted his brother, "are modest, nay, and pious warriors.

We had intended offering up these roses to Aphrodite, but lo! the goddess

has met us in person."

"Her image at any rate," added the other.

"And you should thank the foam-born goddess," continued Apollonaris; "for

she has lent you, in spite of the danger of seeing herself eclipsed, her

own divine charms. Do you think she will be displeased if we withdraw

the flowers and offer them to you?"

"I think nothing," answered Melissa, "excepting that your honeyed

remarks annoy me. Do what you like with your roses, I will not accept

them."

"How dare you," asked Apollonaris, approaching her--"you, to whom the

mother of love has given such wonderfully fresh lips--misuse them by

refusing so sternly the humble petition of her faithful worshipers? If

you would not have Aphrodite enraged with you, hasten to atone for this

transgression. One kiss, my beauty, for her votary, and she will forgive

you."

Here Apollonaris stretched out his hand toward the girl to draw her to

him, but she motioned him back indignantly, declaring that it would be

reprehensible and cowardly in a soldier to use violence toward a modest

maid.

At this the two brothers laughed heartily, and Nemesianus exclaimed, "You

do not belong to the Temple of Vesta, most lovely of roses, and yet you

are well protected by such sharp thorns that it requires a great deal of

courage to venture to attack you."

"More," added Apollonaris, "than to storm a fortress. But what camp or

stronghold contains booty so well worth capturing?"

Thereupon he threw his arm round Melissa and drew her to him.

Neither he nor his brother had ever conducted themselves badly towards an

honorable woman; and if Melissa had been but the daughter of a simple

craftsman, her reproachful remarks would have sufficed to keep them at a

distance. But such immunity was not to be granted to the emperor's

sweetheart, who could so audaciously reject two brothers accustomed to

easy conquests; her demure severity could hardly be meant seriously.

Apollonaris therefore took no notice of her violent resistance, but held

her hands forcibly, and, though he could not succeed in kissing her for

her struggling, he pressed his lips to her cheek, while she endeavored to

free herself and pushed him off, breathless with real indignation.

'Till now, the brothers had taken the matter as a joke; but when

Apollonaris seized the girl again, and she, beside herself with fear,

cried for help, he at once set her free.

It was too late; for the curtains of the audience-room were already

withdrawn, and Caracalla approached. His countenance was red and

distorted; he trembled with rage, and his angry glance fell like a flash

of lightning on the luckless brothers. Close by his side was the prefect

Macrinus, who feared lest he should be attacked by a fresh fit; and

Melissa shared his fears, as Caracalla cried to Apollonaris in an angry

voice, "Scoundrel that you are, you shall repent of this!"

Still, Aurelius had, by various wanton jokes, incurred the emperor's

wrath before now, and he was accustomed to disarm it by some insinuating

confession, so he answered him with a roguish smile, while raising his

eyes to him humbly:

"Forgive me, great Caesar! Our poor strength, as you well know, is

easily defeated in conflicts against overpowering beauty. Dainties are

sweet, not only for children. Long ago Mars was drawn to Venus; and if

I--"

He had spoken these words in Latin, which Melissa did not understand;

but the color left the emperor's face, and, pale with excitement, he

stammered out laboriously:

"You have--you have dared--"

"For this rose," began the youth again, "I begged a hasty kiss from

the beauty, which certainly blooms for all, and she--" He raised his

hands and eyes imploringly to the despot; but Caracalla had already

snatched Macrinus's sword from its sheath, and before Aurelius could

defend himself he was struck first on the head with the flat of the

blade, and then received a series of sharp cuts on his brow and face.

Streaming with blood from the gaping wounds which the victim, trembling

with fear and rage, covered with his hands, he surrendered himself to the

care of his startled brother, while Caesar overwhelmed them both with a

flood of furious reproaches.

When Nemesianus began to bind up his wounded brother's head with a

handkerchief handed to him by Melissa, and Caracalla saw the gaping

wounds he had inflicted, he became quieter, and said:

"I think those lips will not try to steal kisses again for some time from

honorable maidens. You and Nemesianus have forfeited your lives; how

ever, the beseeching look of those all-powerful eves has saved you--you

are spared. Take your brother away, Nemesianus. You are not to leave

your quarters until further orders."

With this he turned his back on the twins, but on the threshold he again

addressed them and said:

"You were mistaken about this maiden. She is not less pure and noble

than your own sister."

The merchants were dismissed from the tablinum more hastily than was due

to the importance of their business, in which, until this interruption,

the sovereign had shown a sympathetic interest and intelligence which

surprised them; and they left Caesar's presence disappointed, but with

the promise that they should be received again in the evening.

As soon as they had retired, Caracalla threw himself again on the couch.

The bath had done him good. Still somewhat exhausted, though his head

was clear, he would not be hindered from receiving the deputation for

which he had important matters to decide; but this fresh attack of rage

revenged itself by a painful headache. Pale, and with slightly quivering

limbs, he dismissed the prefect and his other friends, and desired

Epagathos to call Melissa.

He needed rest, and again the girl's little hand, which had yesterday

done him good, proved its healing power. The throbbing in his head

yielded to her gentle touch, and by degrees exhaustion gave way to the

comfortable languor of convalesence.

To-day, as yesterday, he expressed his thanks to Melissa, but he found

her changed. She looked timidly and anxiously down into her lap

excepting when she replied to a direct question; and yet he had done

everything to please her. Her relations would soon be free and in

Alexandria once more, and Zminis was in prison, chained hand and foot.

This he told her; and, though she was glad, it was not enough to restore

the calm cheerfulness he had loved to see in her.

He urged her, with warm insistence, to tell him what it was that weighed

on her, and at last, with eyes full of tears, she forced herself to say:

"You yourself have seen what they take me for."

"And you have seen," he quickly replied, "how I punish those who forget

the respect they owe to you."

"But you are so dreadful in your wrath!" The words broke from her lips.

"Where others blame, you can destroy; and you do it, too, when passion

carries you away. I am bound to obey your call, and here I am. But I

fancy myself like the little dog--you may see him any day--which in the

beast-garden of the Panaeum, shares a cage with a royal tiger. The huge

brute puts up with a great deal from his small companion, but woe betide

the dog if the tiger once pats him with his heavy, murderous paw--and he

might, out of sheer forgetfulness!"

"But this hand," Caesar broke in, raising his delicate hand covered with

rings, "will never forget, any more than my heart, how much it owes to

you."

"Until I, in some unforeseen way--perhaps quite unconsciously--excite

your anger," sighed Melissa. "Then you will be carried away by passion,

and I shall share the common fate."

Caracalla was about to reply indignantly, but just then Adventus entered

the room, announcing the chief astrologer of the Temple of Serapis.

Caracalla refused to receive him just then, but he anxiously asked

whether he had any signs to report. The reply was in the affirmative,

and in a few minutes Caesar had in his hand a wax tablet covered with

words and figures. He studied it eagerly, and his countenance cleared;

still holding the tablets, he exclaimed to Melissa:

"You, daughter of Heron, have nothing to fear from me, you of all the

world! In some quiet hour I will explain to you how my planet yearns to

yours, and yours--that is, yourself--to mine. The gods have created us

for each other, child; I am already under your influence, but your heart

still hesitates, and I know why; it is because you distrust me."

Melissa raised her large eyes to his face in astonishment, and he went

on, pensively:

"The past must stand; it is like a scar which no water will wash out.

What have you not heard of my past? What did they feel, in their self-

conscious virtue, when they talked of my crimes? Did it ever occur to

any one, I wonder, that with the purple I assumed the sword, to protect

my empire and throne? And when I have used the blade, how eagerly have

fingers pointed at me, how gladly slanderous tongues have wagged! Who

has ever thought of asking what compulsion led me to shed blood, or how

much it cost me to do it? You, fair child--and the stars confirm it--you

were sent by fate to share the burden that oppresses me, and to you I

will ease my heart, to you I will confide all, unasked, because my heart

prompts me to do so. But first you must tell me with what tales they

taught you to hate the man to whom, as you yourself confessed, you

nevertheless felt drawn."

At this Melissa raised her hands in entreaty and remonstrance, and Caesar

went on:

"I will spare you the pains. They say that I am ever athirst for fresh

bloodshed if only some one is rash enough to suggest it to me. You were

told that Caesar murdered his brother Geta, with many more who did but

speak his victim's name. My father-in-law, and his daughter Plautilla,

my wife, were, it is said, the victims of my fury. I killed Papinian,

the lawyer and prefect, and Cilo--whom you saw yesterday--nearly shared

the same fate. What did they conceal? Nothing. Your nod confesses it--

well, and why should they, since speaking ill of others is their greatest

delight? It is all true, and I should never think of denying it. But

did it ever occur to you, or did any one ever suggest to you, to inquire

how it came to pass that I perpetrated such horrors; I--who was brought

up in the fear of the gods and the law, like you and other people?"

"No, my lord, never," replied Melissa, in distress. "But I beg you, I

beseech you, say no more about such dreadful things. I know full well

that you are not wicked; that you are much better than people think."

"And for that very reason," cried Caesar, whose cheeks were flushed with

pleasure in the hard task he had set himself, "you must hear me. I am

Caesar. There is no judge over me; I need give account to none for my

actions. Nor do I. Who, besides yourself, is more to me than the flies

on that cup?"

"And your conscience?" she timidly put in.

"It raises hideous questions from time to time," he replied, gloomily.

"It can be obtrusive, but we can teach ourselves not to answer--besides,

what you call conscience knows the motives for every action, and,

remembering them, judges leniently. You, child, should do the same; for

you--"

"O my lord, what can my poor judgment matter?" Melissa panted out; but

Caracalla exclaimed, as if the question pained him:

"Must I explain all that? The stars, as you know, proclaim to you, as to

me, that a higher power has joined us as light and warmth are joined.

Have you forgotten how we both felt only yesterday? Or am I mistaken?

Has not Roxana's soul entered into that divinely lovely form because it

longed for its lost companion spirit?"

He spoke vehemently, with a quivering of his eyelids; but feeling her

hand tremble in his own, he collected himself, and went on in a lower

tone, but with urgent emphasis:

"I will let you glance into this bosom, closed to every other eye; for

my desolate heart is inspired by you to fresh energy and life; I am as

grateful to you as a drowning man to his deliverer. I shall suffocate

and die if I repress the impulse to open my heart to you!"

What change was this that had come over this mysterious being? Melissa

felt as though she was gazing on the face of a stranger, for, though his

eyelids still quivered, his eyes were bright with ecstatic fire and his

features looked more youthful. On that noble brow the laurel wreath he

wore looked well. Also, as she now observed, he was magnificently

attired; he wore a close-fitting tunic, or breast-plate made of thick

woolen stuff, and over it a purple mantle, while from his bare throat

hung a precious medallion, shield-shaped, and set in gold and gems, the

center formed by a large head of Medusa, with beautiful though terrible

features. The lion-heads of gold attached to each corner of the short

cloak he wore over the sham coat of mail, were exquisite works of art,

and sandals embroidered with gold and gems covered his feet and ankles.

He was dressed to-day like the heir of a lordly house, anxious to charm;

nay, indeed, like an emperor, as he was; and with what care had his body-

slave arranged his thin curls!

He passed his hand over his brow and cast a glance at a silver mirror on

the low table at the head of his couch. When he turned to her again his

amorous eyes met Melissa's.

She looked down in startled alarm. Was it for her sake that Caesar had

thus decked himself and looked in the mirror? It seemed scarcely

possible, and yet it flattered and pleased her. But in the next instant

she longed more fervently than she ever had before for a magic charm

by which she might vanish and be borne far, far away from this

dreadful man. In fancy she saw the vessel which the lady Berenike had in

readiness. She would, she must fly hence, even if it should part her for

a time from Diodoros.

Did Caracalla read her thought? Nay, he could not see through her; so

she endured his gaze, tempting him to speak; and his heart beat high with

hope as he fancied he saw that she was beginning to be affected by his

intense agitation. At this moment he felt convinced, as he often had

been, that the most atrocious of his crimes had been necessary and

inevitable. There was something grand and vast in his deeds of blood,

and that--for he flattered himself he knew the female heart--must win

her admiration, besides the awe and love she already felt.

During the night, at his waking, and in his bath, he had felt that she

was as necessary to him as the breath of life and hope. What he

experienced was love as the poets had sung it. How often had he laughed

it to scorn, and boasted that he was armed against the arrows of Eros!

Now, for the first time, he was aware of the anxious rapture, the ardent

longing of which he had read in so many songs. There stood the object of

his passion. She must hear him, must be his--not by compulsion, not by

imperial command, but of the free impulse of her heart.

His confession would help to this end.

With a swift gesture, as if to throw off the last trace of fatigue,

he sat up and began in a firm voice, with a light in his eyes:

"Yes, I killed my brother Geta. You shudder. And yet, if at this day,

when I know all the results of the deed, the state of affairs were the

same as then, I would do it again! That shocks you. But only listen,

and then you will say with me that it was Fate which compelled me to act

so, and not otherwise."

He paused, and then mistaking the anxiety which was visible in Melissa's

face for sympathetic attention, he began his story, confident of her

interest:

"When I was born, my father had not yet assumed the purple, but he

already aimed at the sovereignty. Augury had promised it to him; my

mother knew this, and shared his ambition. While I was still at my

nurse's breast he was made consul; four years later he seized the throne.

Pertinax was killed, the wretched Didius Julianus bought the empire, and

this brought my father to Rome from Pannonia. Meanwhile he had sent us

children, my brother Geta and me, away from the city; nor was it till he

had quelled the last resistance on the Tiber that he recalled us.

"I was then but a child of five, and yet one day of that time I remember

vividly. My father was going through Rome in solemn procession. His

first object was to do due honor to the corpse of Pertinax. Rich

hangings floated from every window and balcony in the city. Garlands of

flowers and laurel wreaths adorned the houses, and pleasant odors were

wafted to us as we went. The jubilation of the people was mixed with the

trumpet-call of the soldiers; handkerchiefs were waved and acclamations

rang out. This was in honor of my father, and of me also, the future

Caesar. My little heart was almost bursting with pride; it seemed to me

that I had grown several heads taller, not only than other boys, but than

the people that surrounded me.

"When the funeral procession began, my mother wished me to go with her

into the arcade where seats had been placed for the ladies to view, but

I refused to follow her. My father became angry. But when he heard me

declare that I was a man and the future Emperor, that I would rather see

nothing than show myself to the people among the women, he smiled. He

ordered Cilo, who was then the prefect of Rome, to lead me to the seats

of the past consuls and the old senators. I was delighted at this; but

when he allowed my younger brother Geta to follow me, my pleasure was

entirely spoiled."

"And you were then five years old?" asked Melissa, astonished.

"That surprises you!" smiled Caracalla. "But I had already traveled

through half the empire, and had experienced more than other boys of

twice my age. I was, at any rate, still child enough to forget

everything else in the brilliant spectacle that unfolded before my eyes.

I remember to this day the colored wax statue which represented Pertinax

so exactly that it might have been himself risen from the grave. And the

procession! It seemed to have no end; one new thing followed another.

All walked past in mourning robes, even the choir of singing boys and

men. Cilo explained to me who had made the statues of the Romans who had

served their country, who the artists and scholars were, whose statues

and busts were carried by. Then came bronze groups of the people of

every nation in the empire, in their costumes. Cilo told me what they

were called, and where they lived; he then added that one day they would

all belong to me; that I must learn the art of fighting, in case they

resisted me, and should require suppressing. Also, when they carried the

flags of the guilds past, when the horse and foot soldiers, the race-

horses from the circus and several other things came by, he continued to

explain them. I only remember it now because it made me so happy. The

old man spoke to me alone; he regarded me alone as the future sovereign.

He left Geta to eat the sweets which his aunts had given him, and when I

too wanted some my brother refused to let me have any. Then Cilo stroked

my hair, and said: 'leave him his toys. When you are a man you shall

have the whole Roman Empire for your own, and all the nations I told you

of.' Geta meanwhile had thought better of it, and pushed some of the

sweetmeats toward me. I would not have them, and, when he tried to make

me take them, I threw them into the road."

"And you remember all that?" said Melissa.

"More things than these are indelibly stamped on my mind from that day,"

said Caesar. "I can see before me now the pile on which Pertinax was to

be burned. It was splendidly decorated, and on the top stood the gilt

chariot in which he had loved to ride. Before the consuls fired the logs

of Indian wood, my father led us to the image of Pertinax, that we might

kiss it. He held me by the hand. Wherever we went, the senate and

people hailed us with acclamations. My mother carried Geta in her arms.

This delighted the populace. They shouted for her and my brother as

enthusiastically as for us, and I recollect to this day how that went to

my heart. He might have the sweets and welcome, but what the people had

to offer was due only to my father and me, not to my brother. At that

moment I first fully understood that Severus was the present and I the

future Caesar. Geta had only to obey, like every one else.

"After kissing the image, I stood, still holding my father's hand, to

watch the flames. I can see them now, crackling and writhing as they

gained on the wood, licking it and fawning, as it were, till it caught

and sent up a rush of sparks and fire. At last the whole pile was one

huge blaze. Then, suddenly, out of the heart of the flames an eagle

rose. The creature flapped its broad wings in the air, which was golden

with sunshine and quivering with heat, soaring above the smoke and fire,

this way and that. But it soon took flight, away from the furnace

beneath. I shouted with delight, and cried to my father: 'Look at the

bird! Where is he flying?' And he eagerly answered: 'Well done!

If you desire to preserve the power I have conquered for you always

undiminished, you must keep your eyes open. Let no sign pass unnoticed,

no opportunity neglected.'

"He himself acted on this rule. To him obstacles existed only to be

removed, and he taught me, too, to give myself neither peace nor rest,

and not to spare the life of a foe.--That festival secured my father the

suffrages of the Romans. Meanwhile Pescennius Niger rose up in the East

with a large army and took the field against Severus. But my father was

not the man to hesitate. Within a few months of the obsequies of

Pertinax his opponent was a headless corpse.

"There was yet another obstacle to be removed. You have heard of Clodius

Albinus. My father had adopted him and raised him to share his throne.

But Severus could not divide the rule with any man.

"When I was nine years old I saw, after the battle of Lugdunum, the dead

face of Albinus's head; it was set up in front of the Curia on a lance.

"I now was the second personage in the empire, next to my father; the

first among the youth of the whole world, and the future emperor. When

I was eleven the soldiers hailed me as Augustus; that was in the war

against the Parthians, before Ktesiphon. But they did the same to Geta.

This was like wormwood in the sweet draught; and if then--But what can

a girl care about the state, and the fate of rulers and nations?"

"Yes, go on," said Melissa. "I see already what you are coming to. You

disliked the idea of sharing your power with another."

"Nay," cried Caracalla, vehemently, "I not only disliked it, it was

intolerable, impossible! What I want you to see is that I did not grudge

my brother his share of my father's inheritance, like any petty trader.

The world--that is the point--the world itself was too small for two of

us. It was not I, but Fate, which had doomed Geta to die. I am certain

of this, and so must you be. Yes, it was Fate. Fate prompted the

child's little hand to attempt its brother's life. And that was long

before my brain could form a thought or my baby-lips could stammer his

hated name."

"Then you tried to kill your brother even in infancy?" asked Melissa, and

her large eyes dilated with horror as she gazed at the terrible narrator.

But Caracalla went on, in an apologetic tone:

"I was then but two years old. It was at Mediolanum, soon after Geta's

birth. An egg was found in the court of the palace; a hen had laid it

close to a pillar. It was of a purple hue-red all over like the imperial

mantle, and this indicated that the newly born infant was destined to

sovereignty. Great was the rejoicing. The purple marvel was shown even

to me who could but just walk. I, like a naughty boy, flung it down; the

shell cracked, and the contents poured out on the pavement. My mother

saw it, and her exclamation, 'Wicked child, you have murdered your

brother!' was often repeated to me in after-years. It never struck me as

particularly motherly."

Here he paused, gazing meditatively into vacancy, and then asked the

girl, who had listened intently:

"Were you never haunted by a word so that you could not be rid of it?"

"Oh, yes," cried Melissa; "a striking rhythm in a song, or a line of

poetry--"

Caracalla nodded agreement, and went on more vehemently: "That is what I

experienced at the words, 'You have murdered your brother!' I not only

heard them now and then with my inward ear, but incessantly, like the

dreary hum of the flies in my camp-tent, for hours at a time, by day and

by night. No fanning could drive these away. The diabolical voice

whispered loudest when Geta had done anything to vex me; or if things had

been given him which I did not wish him to have. And how often that

happened! For I--I was only Bassianus to my mother; but her youngest was

her dear little Geta.

"So the years passed. We had, while still quite young, our own teams in

the circus. One day, when we were driving for a wager-we were still

boys, and I was ahead of the other lads--the horses of my chariot shied

to one side. I was thrown some distance on the course. Geta saw this.

He turned his horses to the right where I lay. He drove over his brother

as he would over straw and apple-parings in the dust; and his wheel broke

my thigh. Who knows what else it crushed in me? One thing is certain--

from that date the most painful of my sufferings originated. And he, the

mean scoundrel, had done it intentionally. He had sharp eyes. He knew

how to guide his steeds. He had never driven his wheel over a hazel-nut

in the sand of the arena against his will; and I was lying some distance

from the driving course."

Caesar's eyelids blinked spasmodically as he uttered this accusation, and

his very glance revealed the raging fire that was burning in his soul.

Melissa's sad cry of:

"What terrible suspicion!" he answered with a short, scornful laugh and

the furious assertion:

"Oh, there were friends enough who informed me what hope Geta had founded

on this act of treachery. The disappointment made him irritable and

listless, when Galenus had succeeded in curing me so far that I was able

to throw away my Crutch; and my limp--at least so they tell me--is hardly

perceptible."

"Not at all, most certainly not at all," Melissa sympathetically assured

him. He, however, went on:

"Yet what I endured meanwhile!--and while I passed so many long weeks of

pain and impatience on a couch, the words my mother had said about the

brother whom I murdered rang constantly in my ears as though a reciter

were engaged by day and night to reiterate them.

"But even this passed away. With the pain, which had spoiled many good

hours for me, the quiet had brought me something more to the purpose-

thoughts and plans. Yes, during those peaceful weeks the things my

father and tutor had taught me became clear and real for the first time.

I realized that I must become energetic if I meant ever to be a thorough

sovereign. As soon as I could use my foot again I became an industrious

and docile pupil under Cilo. From a child up to the time of this cruel

experience, my youthful heart had clung to my nurse. She was a Christian

from my father's African home--I knew she loved me best on earth. My

mother knew of no higher destiny than that of being the Domna,--[Domna,

lady or mistress, in corrupt Latin. Hence her name of Julia Domna] the

lady of the soldiers, the mother of the camp, and the lady philosopher

among the sages. What she gave me in the way of love was but copper

alms. She threw golden solidi of love into Geta's lap in lavish

abundance. And her sister and her nieces, who often lived with us,

treated me exactly as she did. They were distantly civil, or they

shunned me; but my brother was their spoiled plaything. I was as

incapable as Geta was master of the art of stealing hearts; but in my

childhood I needed none of them: for, if I wished for a kind word,

a sweet kiss, or the love of a woman, my nurse's arms were open to me.

Nor was she an ordinary woman. As the widow of a tribune who had fallen

in my father's service, she had undertaken to attend on me. She loved me

as no one else ever did. She was also the only person whom I would

willingly obey. I came into the world full of wild instincts, but she

knew how to tame them kindly. My aversion to my brother was the one

thing she checked but feebly, for he was a thorn in her side too. I

learned this when she, who was so gentle, explained to me, with asperity

in her tone, that there was but one God in heaven, and on earth but one

emperor, who should govern the world in his name. She also imparted

these convictions to others, and this turned to her disadvantage. My

mother parted us, and sent her back to her African home. She died soon

after." He was silent, and gazed pensively into vacancy; soon, however,

he collected his thoughts and said, lightly:

"Well, I became Cilo's diligent pupil."

"But," asked Melissa, "did you not say that at one time you attempted his

life?"

"I did so," replied Caracalla darkly; "for a moment arrived when I

cursed his teaching, and yet it was certainly wise and well meant. You

see, child, all of you who go through life humbly and without power are

trained to submit obediently to the will of Heaven. Cilo taught me to

place my own power, and the greatness of the realm which it would be

incumbent on me to reign over, above everything, even above the gods.

It was impressed upon you and yours to hold the life of another sacred;

to us, our duty as the sovereign transcends this law. Even the blood of

a brother must flow if it is for the good of the state intrusted to us.

My nurse had taught me that being good meant doing unto others as we

would be done by; Cilo cried to me: 'Strike down, that you may not be

struck down--away with mercy, if the welfare of the state is threatened!'

And how many hands are raised against Rome, the universal empire, which I

rule over! It needs a strong hand to keep its antagonistic parts

together. Otherwise it would fall apart like a bundle of arrows when the

string that bound them is broken. And I, even as a boy, had sworn to my

father, by the Terminus stone in the Capitol, never to abandon a single

inch of his ground without fighting for it. He, Severus, was the wisest

of the rulers. Only the blind love for his second son, encouraged by the

women, caused him to forget his moderation and prudence. My brother Geta

was to reign together with me over the empire, which ought to have been

mine alone as the first-born. Every year festivals were kept, with

prayers and sacrifices, to the "love of the brothers." You have perhaps

seen the coins, which show us hand in hand, and have on them the

inscription, 'Eternal union'!

"I in union--I hand in hand with the man I most hated under the sun!

It almost maddened me only to hear his voice. I would have liked best

of all to spring at his throat when I saw him with his learned fellows

squandering their time. Do you know what they did? They invented the

names by which the voices of different animals were to be known. Once I

snatched the pencil out of the hand of the freedman as he was writing the

sentences, 'The horse neighs, the pig grunts, the goat bleats, the cow

lows, the sheep baas.' 'He, himself,' I added, 'croaks like a hoarse

jay.'

"That I should share the government with this miserable, faint-hearted,

poisonous nobody could never be,--this enemy, who, when I said 'Yes,'

cried 'No!' Who frustrated all my measures,--it was impossible! It

would have caused the destruction of the state, as certainly as it was

the unfairest and unwisest of the deeds of Severus, to place the younger

brother as co-regent with the first-born, the rightful heir to the

throne. I, whom my father had taught to watch for signs, was reminded

every hour that this unbearable position must come to an end.

"After the death of Severus, we lived at first close to one another in

separate parts of the same palace like two lions in a cage across which a

partition has been erected, so that they may not reciprocally mangle each

other.

"We used to meet at my mother's.

"That morning my mastiff had bitten Geta's wolfhound and killed him,

and they had found a black liver in the beast he had sent for sacrifice.

I had been informed of this. Destiny was on my side. This indolent

inactivity must be brought to a close. I myself do not know how I felt

as I mounted the steps to my mother's rooms. I only remember distinctly

that a demon cried continually in my ear, 'You have murdered your

brother!' Then I suddenly found myself face to face with him. It was

in the empress's reception-room. And when I saw the hated flat-shaped

head so close to me, when his beardless mouth with its thick underlip

smiled at me so sweetly and at the same time so falsely, I felt as if I

again heard the cry with which he had cheered on his horse. And I felt

. . . I even felt the pain-as if he broke my thigh again with his

wheel. And at the same time a fiend whispered in my ear: 'Destroy him,

or he will kill you, and through him Rome will perish!'

"Then I seized my sword. In his odious, peevish voice he said something

--I forget what nonsense--to me. Then it appeared to me as if all the

sheep and goats over which he had squandered his time were bleating at

me. The blood rushed to my head. The room spun round me in a circle.

Black spots on a red ground danced before my eyes.

A Thorny Path — Volume 07 · 第 1 / 4 段