ON THE MANAGEMENT OF YOUNG CHILDREN.
In regard to the physical education of children, Dr. Clarke, Physician
in Ordinary to the Queen of England, expresses views, on one point, in
which most physicians would coincide. He says, "There is no greater
error in the management of children, than that of giving them animal
diet very early. By persevering in the use of an overstimulating diet,
the digestive organs become irritated, and the various secretions,
immediately connected with, and necessary to, digestion, are diminished,
especially the _biliary secretion_. Children, so fed, become very liable
to attacks of fever, and of inflammation, affecting, particularly, the
mucous membranes; and measles, and the other diseases incident to
childhood, are generally severe in their attack."
There are some popular notions on the subject of the use of animal food,
which need to be corrected.
One mistake, is, in supposing that the formation of the human teeth and
stomach indicate that man was designed to feed on flesh. Linnæus says,
that the organization of man, when compared with other animals, shows,
that "fruits and esculent vegetables constitute his most suitable food."
Baron Cuvier, the highest authority on comparative anatomy, says, "the
natural food of man, _judging from his structure_, appears to consist of
fruits, roots, and other succulent parts of vegetables."
Another common mistake, is, that the stimulus of animal food is
necessary for the full developement of the physical and intellectual
powers. This notion is disproved by facts. The inhabitants of Lapland
and Kamtschatka, who live altogether on animal food, are among the
smallest, weakest, and most timid, of races. But the Scotch Highlanders,
who, in a very cold climate, live almost exclusively on milk and
vegetable diet, are among the bravest, largest, and most athletic, of
men. The South-Sea Islanders, who live almost exclusively on fruits and
vegetables, are said to be altogether superior to English sailors, in
strength and agility. An intelligent gentleman, who spent many months in
Siberia, testifies, that no exiles endure the climate better than those,
who have all their lives been accustomed to a vegetable diet. The
stoutest and largest tribes in Africa, live solely on vegetable diet,
and the bright, intelligent, and active Arabs, live entirely on milk and
vegetables.
The popular notion is, that animal food is more nourishing than
vegetable; but on this point, scientific men hold different opinions.
Experiments, repeatedly made by some chemists, seem to prove the
contrary. Tables have been prepared, showing the amount of nutriment in
each kind of food, by which it would appear, that, while beef contains
thirty-five per cent. of nutritious matter, wheat-bread and rice contain
from eighty to ninety-five per cent. The supposed mistake is attributed
to the fact, that, on account of the stimulating nature of animal food,
it digests easier and more quickly than vegetables. Many physicians,
however, among them, Dr. Combe,[O] are of opinion, that animal food
"contains a greater quantity of nutriment in a given bulk, than either
herbaceous or farinaceous food." In some diseases, too, meat is better
for the stomach than vegetables.
The largest proportion of those, who have been remarkable for having
lived to the greatest age, were persons, whose diet was almost
exclusively vegetables; and it is a well-known fact, that the pulse of a
hardy and robust man, who lives on simple vegetable diet, is from ten
to twenty beats less in a minute, than that of men who live on a mixed
diet.
In regard to the intellect, Dr. Franklin asserted, from experience, that
an exclusively vegetable diet "promotes clearness of ideas and quickness
of perception; and is to be preferred, by all who labor with the mind."
The mightiest efforts of Sir Isaac Newton, were performed, while
nourished only by bread and water. Many other men, distinguished by
intellectual vigor, give similar testimony. These facts show that animal
food is not needful, to secure the perfect developement of mind or
body.[P]
The result of the treatment of the inmates of the Orphan Asylum, at
Albany, is one, upon which all, who have the care of young children,
should deeply ponder. During the first six years of the existence of
this Institution, its average number of children was eighty. For the
first three years, their diet was meat once a day, fine bread, rice,
Indian puddings, vegetables, fruit, and milk. Considerable attention was
given to clothing, fresh air, and exercise; and they were bathed once in
three weeks. During these three years, from four to six children, and
sometimes more, were continually on the sick-list; one or two assistant
nurses were necessary; a physician was called, two or three times a
week; and, in this time, there were between thirty and forty deaths. At
the end of this period, the management was changed, in these
respects:--daily ablutions of the whole body were practised; bread of
unbolted flour was substituted for that of fine wheat; and all animal
food was banished. More attention also was paid to clothing, bedding,
fresh air, and exercise. The result was, that the nursery was vacated;
the nurse and physician were no longer needed; and, for two years, not a
single case of sickness or death occurred. The third year, also, there
were no deaths, except those of two idiots and one other child, all of
whom were new inmates, who had not been subjected to this treatment. The
teachers of the children also testified, that there was a manifest
increase of intellectual vigor and activity, while there was much less
irritability of temper.
Let parents, nurses, and teachers, reflect on the above statement, and
bear in mind, that stupidity of intellect, and irritability of temper,
as well as ill health, are often caused by the mismanagement of the
nursery, in regard to the physical training of children. There is
probably no practice, more deleterious, than that of allowing children
to eat at short intervals, through the day. As the stomach is thus kept
constantly at work, with no time for repose, its functions are deranged,
and a weak or disordered stomach is the frequent result. Children should
be required to keep cakes, nuts, and other good things which they may
have to eat, till just before a meal, and then they will form a part of
their regular supply. This is better, than to wait till after their
hunger is satisfied by food, when they will eat their niceties merely to
gratify the palate, and thus overload the stomach.
In regard to the intellectual training of young children, some
modification in the common practice is necessary, with reference to
their physical wellbeing. More care is needful, in providing
_well-ventilated_ schoolrooms, and in securing more time for sports in
the open air, during school hours. It is very important, to most
mothers, that their young children should be removed from their care,
during the six school hours; and it is very useful, to quite young
children, to be subjected to the discipline of a school, and to
intercourse with other children of their own age. And, with a suitable
teacher, it is no matter how early children are sent to school, provided
their health is not endangered, by impure air, too much confinement, and
too great mental stimulus.
In regard to the formation of the moral character, it has been too much
the case, that the discipline of the nursery has consisted of
disconnected efforts to make children either do, or refrain from doing,
certain particular acts. Do this, and be rewarded; do that, and be
punished; is the ordinary routine of family government.
But children can be very early taught, that their happiness, both now
and hereafter, depends on the formation of _habits of submission,
self-denial_, and _benevolence_. And all the discipline of the nursery
can be conducted by the parents, not only with this general aim in their
own minds, but also with the same object daily set before the minds of
the children. Whenever their wishes are crossed, or their wills subdued,
they can be taught, that all this is done, not merely to please the
parent, or to secure some good to themselves or to others; but as a part
of that merciful training, which is designed to form such a character,
and such habits, that they can hereafter find their chief happiness in
giving up their will to God, and in living to do good to others, instead
of living merely to please themselves.
It can be pointed out to them, that they must always submit their will
to the will of God, or else be continually miserable. It can be shown,
how in the nursery, and in the school, and through all future days, a
child must practise the giving up of his will and wishes, when they
interfere with the rights and comfort of others; and how important it
is, early to learn to do this, so that it will, by habit, become easy
and agreeable. It can be shown, how children, who are indulged in all
their wishes, and who are never accustomed to any self-denial, always
find it hard to refrain from what injures themselves and others. It can
be shown, also, how important it is, for every person, to form such
habits of benevolence, towards others, that self-denial, in doing good,
will become easy.
Parents have learned, by experience, that children can be constrained,
by authority and penalties, to exercise self-denial, for _their own_
good, till a habit is formed, which makes the duty comparatively easy.
For example, well-trained children can be accustomed to deny themselves
tempting articles of food, which are injurious, until the practice
ceases to be painful and difficult. Whereas, an indulged child would be
thrown into fits of anger or discontent, when its wishes were crossed,
by restraints of this kind.
But it has not been so readily discerned, that the same method is
needful, in order to form a habit of self-denial, in doing good to
others. It has been supposed, that, while children must be forced, by
_authority_, to be self-denying and prudent, in regard to their own
happiness, it may properly be left to their own discretion, whether they
will practise any self-denial in doing good to others. But the more
difficult a duty is, the greater is the need of parental authority, in
forming a habit, which will make that duty easy.
In order to secure this, some parents turn their earliest efforts to
this object. They require the young child always to offer to others a
part of every thing which it receives; always to comply with all
reasonable requests of others for service; and often to practise little
acts of self-denial, in order to secure some enjoyment for others. If
one child receives a present of some nicety, he is required to share it
with all his brothers and sisters. If one asks his brother to help him
in some sport, and is met with a denial, the parent requires the
unwilling child to act benevolently, and give up some of his time to
increase his brother's enjoyment. Of course, in such an effort as this,
discretion must be used, as to the frequency and extent of the exercise
of authority, to induce a habit of benevolence. But, where parents
deliberately aim at such an object, and wisely conduct their
instructions and discipline to secure it, very much will be
accomplished.
Religious influence should be brought to bear directly upon this point.
In the very beginning of religious instruction, Jesus Christ should be
presented to the child, as that great and good Being, who came into
this world to teach children how to be happy, both here and hereafter.
He, who made it His meat and drink to do the will of His Heavenly
Father; who, in the humblest station, and most destitute condition,
denied Himself, daily, and went about doing good; should constantly be
presented as the object of their imitation. And as nothing so strongly
influences the minds of children, as the sympathy and example of a
_present_ friend, all those, who believe Him to be an _ever-present
Saviour_, should avail themselves of this powerful aid. Under such
training, Jesus Christ should be constantly presented to them, as their
ever-watchful, tender, and sympathizing friend. If the abstract idea of
an unembodied Spirit with the majestic attributes of Deity, be difficult
for the mind of infancy to grasp, the simple, the gentle, the lovely,
character of Christ, is exactly adapted to the wants and comprehension
of a child. In this view, how touching is the language of the Saviour,
to His misjudging disciples, "Suffer _the little children_ to come unto
me!"
In regard to forming habits of obedience, there have been two extremes,
both of which need to be shunned. One is, a stern and unsympathizing
maintenance of parental authority, demanding perfect and constant
obedience, without any attempt to convince a child of the propriety and
benevolence of the requisitions, and without any manifestation of
sympathy and tenderness for the pain and difficulties which are to be
met. Under such discipline, children grow up to fear their parents,
rather than to love and trust them; while some of the most valuable
principles of character, are chilled, or forever blasted.
In shunning this danger, other parents pass to the opposite extreme.
They put themselves too much on the footing of equals with their
children, as if little were due to superiority of relation, age, and
experience. Nothing is exacted, without the implied concession that the
child is to be a judge of the propriety of the requisition; and reason
and persuasion are employed, where simple command and obedience would be
far better. This system produces a most pernicious influence. Children
soon perceive the position, thus allowed them, and take every advantage
of it. They soon learn to dispute parental requirements, acquire habits
of forwardness and conceit, assume disrespectful manners and address,
maintain their views with pertinacity, and yield to authority with
ill-humor and resentment, as if their rights were infringed.
The medium course, is, for the parent to take the attitude of a
superior, in age, knowledge, and relation, who has a perfect right to
control every action of the child, and that, too, without giving any
reason for the requisitions. "Obey, _because your parent commands_," is
always a proper and sufficient reason.
But care should be taken, to convince the child that the parent is
conducting a course of discipline, designed to make him happy; and in
forming habits of implicit obedience, self-denial, and benevolence, the
child should have the reasons for most requisitions kindly stated;
never, however, on the demand of it, from the child, as a right, but as
an act of kindness from the parent.
It is impossible to govern children properly, especially those of strong
and sensitive feelings, without a constant effort to appreciate the
value which they attach to their enjoyments and pursuits. A lady, of
great strength of mind and sensibility, once told the writer, that one
of the most acute periods of suffering, in her whole life, was
occasioned by the burning up of some milkweed-silk, by her mother. The
child had found, for the first time, some of this shining and beautiful
substance; was filled with delight at her discovery; was arranging it in
parcels; planning its future uses, and her pleasure in showing it to her
companions,--when her mother, finding it strewed over the carpet,
hastily swept it into the fire, and that, too, with so indifferent an
air, that the child fled away, almost distracted with grief and
disappointment. The mother little realized the pain she had inflicted,
but the child felt the unkindness, so severely, that for several days
her mother was an object almost of aversion.
While, therefore, the parent needs to carry on a steady course, which
will oblige the child always to give up its will, whenever its own good,
or the greater claims of others, require it, this should be constantly
connected with the expression of a tender sympathy, for the trials and
disappointments thus inflicted. Those, who will join with children, and
help them along in their sports, will learn, by this mode, to understand
the feelings and interests of childhood; while, at the same time, they
secure a degree of confidence and affection, which cannot be gained so
easily, in any other way. And it is to be regretted, that parents so
often relinquish this most powerful mode of influence, to domestics and
playmates, who often use it in the most pernicious manner. In joining in
such sports, older persons should never relinquish the attitude of
superiors, or allow disrespectful manners or address. And respectful
deportment is never more cheerfully accorded, than in seasons, when
young hearts are pleased, and made grateful, by having their tastes and
enjoyments so efficiently promoted.
Next to the want of all government, the two most fruitful sources of evil
to children, are, _unsteadiness_ in government, and _over-government_.
Most of the cases, in which the children of sensible and conscientious
parents turn out badly, result from one or the other of these causes. In
cases of unsteady government, either one parent is very strict, severe,
and unbending, and the other excessively indulgent, or else the parents
are sometimes very strict and decided, and at other times allow
disobedience to go unpunished. In such cases, children, never knowing
exactly when they can escape with impunity, are constantly tempted to
make the trial.
The bad effects of this, can be better appreciated, by reference to one
important principle of the mind. It is found to be universally true,
that, when any object of desire is put entirely beyond the reach of hope
or expectation, the mind very soon ceases to long for it, and turns to
other objects of pursuit. But, so long as the mind is hoping for some
good, and making efforts to obtain it, any opposition excites irritable
feelings. Let the object be put entirely beyond all hope, and this
irritation soon ceases. In consequence of this principle, those
children, who are under the care of persons of steady and decided
government, know, that whenever a thing is forbidden or denied, it is
out of the reach of hope; the desire, therefore, soon ceases, and they
turn to other objects. But the children of undecided, or of
over-indulgent parents, never enjoy this preserving aid. When a thing is
denied, they never know but either coaxing may win it, or disobedience
secure it without any penalty, and so they are kept in that state of
hope and anxiety, which produces irritation, and tempts to
insubordination. The children of very indulgent parents, and of those
who are undecided and unsteady in government, are very apt to become
fretful, irritable, and fractious.
Another class of persons, in shunning this evil, go to the other
extreme, and are very strict and pertinacious, in regard to every
requisition. With them, fault-finding and penalties abound, until the
children are either hardened into indifference of feeling, and
obtuseness of conscience, or else become excessively irritable, or
misanthropic.
It demands great wisdom, patience, and self-control, to escape these two
extremes. In aiming at this, there are parents, who have found the
following maxims of very great value. First, Avoid, as much as possible,
the multiplication of rules and absolute commands. Instead of this, take
the attitude of advisers. "My child, this is improper, I wish you would
remember not to do it." This mode of address answers for all the little
acts of heedlessness, awkwardness, or ill-manners, so frequently
occurring, with children. There are cases, when direct and distinct
commands are needful; and, in such cases, a penalty for disobedience
should be as steady and sure as the laws of Nature. Where such
steadiness, and certainty of penalty, attend disobedience, children no
more think of disobeying, than they do of putting their fingers in a
burning candle.
The next maxim, is, Govern by rewards, more than by penalties. Such
faults as wilful disobedience, lying, dishonesty, and indecent or
profane language, should be punished with severe penalties, after a
child has been fully instructed in the evil of such practices. But all
the constantly-recurring faults of the nursery, such as ill-humor,
quarrelling, carelessness, and ill-manners, may, in a great many cases,
be regulated by gentle and kind remonstrances, and by the offer of some
reward for persevering efforts to form a good habit. It is very
injurious and degrading to any mind, to be kept under the constant fear
of penalties. _Love_ and _hope_ are the principles that should be mainly
relied on, in forming the habits of childhood.
Another maxim, and perhaps the most difficult, is, Do not govern by the
aid of severe and angry tones. A single example will be given to
illustrate this maxim. A child is disposed to talk and amuse itself, at
table. The mother requests it to be silent, except when needing to ask
for food, or when spoken to by its older friends. It constantly forgets.
The mother, instead of rebuking, in an impatient tone, says, "My child,
you must remember not to talk. I will remind you of it four times more,
and after that, whenever you forget, you must leave the table, and wait
till we are done." If the mother is steady in her government, it is not
probable that she will have to apply this slight penalty more than once
or twice. This method is far more effectual, than the use of sharp and
severe tones, to secure attention and recollection, and often answers
the purpose, as well as offering some reward.
The writer has been in some families, where the most efficient and
steady government has been sustained, without the use of a cross or
angry tone; and in others, where a far less efficient discipline was
kept up, by frequent severe rebukes and angry remonstrances. In the
first case, the children followed the example set them, and seldom used
severe tones to each other; in the latter, the method employed by the
parents, was imitated by the children; and cross words and angry tones
resounded from morning till night, in every portion of the household.
Another important maxim, is, Try to keep children in a happy state of
mind. Every one knows, by experience, that it is easier to do right, and
submit to rule, when cheerful and happy, than when irritated. This is
peculiarly true of children; and a wise mother, when she finds her child
fretful and impatient, and thus constantly doing wrong, will often
remedy the whole difficulty, by telling some amusing story, or by
getting the child engaged in some amusing sport. This strongly shows the
importance of learning to govern children without the employment of
angry tones, which always produce irritation.
Children of active, heedless temperament, or those who are odd, awkward,
or unsuitable, in their remarks and deportment, are often essentially
injured, by a want of patience and self-control in those who govern
them. Such children, often possess a morbid sensibility, which they
strive to conceal, or a desire of love and approbation, which preys like
a famine on the soul. And yet, they become objects of ridicule and
rebuke, to almost every member of the family, until their sensibilities
are tortured into obtuseness or misanthropy. Such children, above all
others, need tenderness and sympathy. A thousand instances of mistake or
forgetfulness should be passed over, in silence, while opportunities for
commendation and encouragement should be diligently sought.
In regard to the formation of habits of self-denial, in childhood, it is
astonishing to see how parents, who are very sensible, often seem to
regard this matter. Instead of inuring their children to this duty, in
early life, so that by habit it may be made easy in after-days, they
seem to be studiously seeking to cut them off, from every chance to
secure such a preparation. Every wish of the child is studiously
gratified; and, where a necessity exists, of crossing its wishes, some
compensating pleasure is offered, in return. Such parents, often
maintain that nothing shall be put on their table, which their children
may not join them in eating. But where, so easily and surely as at the
daily meal, can that habit of self-denial be formed, which is so needful
in governing the appetites, and which children must acquire, or be
ruined? The food which is proper for grown persons, is often unsuitable
for children; and this is a sufficient reason for accustoming them to
see others partake of delicacies, which they must not share. Requiring
children to wait till others are helped, and to refrain from
conversation at table, except when addressed by their elders, is another
mode of forming habits of self-denial and self-control. Requiring them
to help others, first, and to offer the best to others, has a similar
influence.
In forming the moral habits of children, it is wise to take into account
the peculiar temptations to which they are to be exposed. The people of
this Nation are eminently a trafficking people; and the present standard
of honesty, as to trade and debts, is very low, and every year seems
sinking still lower. It is, therefore, pre-eminently important, that
children should be trained to strict _honesty_, both in word and deed.
It is not merely teaching children to avoid absolute lying, which is
needed. _All kinds of deceit_ should be guarded against; and all kinds
of little dishonest practices be strenuously opposed. A child should be
brought up with the determined principle, never to _run in debt_, but to
be content to live in an humbler way, in order to secure that true
independence, which should be the noblest distinction of an American
citizen.
There is no more important duty, devolving upon a mother, than the
cultivation of habits of modesty and propriety in young children. All
indecorous words or deportment, should be carefully restrained; and
delicacy and reserve studiously cherished. It is a common notion, that
it is important to secure these virtues to one sex, more than to the
other; and, by a strange inconsistency, the sex most exposed to danger,
is the one selected as least needing care. But a wise mother will be
especially careful, that her sons are trained to modesty and purity of
mind.
But few mothers are sufficiently aware of the dreadful penalties which
often result from indulged impurity of thought. If children, in _future_
life, can be preserved from licentious associates, it is supposed that
their safety is secured. But the records of our insane retreats, and the
pages of medical writers, teach, that even in solitude, and without
being aware of the sin or the danger, children may inflict evils on
themselves, which not unfrequently terminate in disease, delirium, and
death. Every mother and every teacher, therefore, carefully avoiding all
explanation of the mystery, should teach the young, that the indulgence
of impure thoughts and actions, is visited by the most awful and
terrific penalties. Disclosing the details of vice, in order to awaken
dread of its penalties, is a most dangerous experiment, and often leads
to the very evils feared. The attempts made, in late years, to guard
children from future dangers, by circulating papers, and books of
warning and information, have led to such frightful results, that it is
hoped the experiment will never again be pursued. The safest course, is,
to cultivate habits of modesty and delicacy, and to teach, that all
impure thoughts, words, and actions, are forbidden by God, and are often
visited by the most dreadful punishment. At the same time, it is
important for mothers to protect the young mind from false notions of
delicacy. It should be shown, that whatever is necessary, to save from
suffering or danger, must be met, without shame or aversion; and that
all, which God has instituted, is wise, and right, and pure.
It is in reference to these dangers, that mothers and teachers should
carefully guard the young from those highly-wrought fictions, which lead
the imagination astray; and especially from that class of licentious
works, made interesting by genius and taste, which have flooded this
Country, and which are often found on the parlor table, even of moral
and Christian people. Of this class, the writings of Bulwer stand
conspicuous. The only difference, between some of his works and the
obscene prints, for vending which men suffer the penalties of the law,
is, that the last are so gross, as to revolt the taste and startle the
mind to resistance, while Bulwer presents the same ideas, so clothed in
the fascinations of taste and genius, as most insidiously to seduce the
unwary. It seems to be the chief aim of this licentious writer, to make
thieves, murderers, and adulterers, appear beautiful, refined, and
interesting. It is time that all virtuous persons in the community
should rise in indignation, not only against the writers, but the
venders of such poison.
FOOTNOTES:
[O] See his 'Physiology of Digestion considered with relation to the
Principles of Dietetics,' issued by the Publishers of this work.
[P] The writer is not an advocate for _total_ abstinence from animal
food. She coincides with the best authorities, in thinking that adults
eat too much; that children, while growing, should eat very little, and
quite young children, none at all.