DIFFICULTIES PECULIAR TO AMERICAN WOMEN.
In the preceding chapter, were presented those views, which are
calculated to inspire American women with a sense of their high
responsibilities to their Country, and to the world; and of the
excellence and grandeur of the object to which their energies may be
consecrated.
But it will be found to be the law of moral action, that whatever
involves great results and great benefits, is always attended with great
hazards and difficulties. And as it has been shown, that American women
have a loftier position, and a more elevated object of enterprise, than
the females of any other nation, so it will appear, that they have
greater trials and difficulties to overcome, than any other women are
called to encounter.
Properly to appreciate the nature of these trials, it must be borne in
mind, that the estimate of evils and privations depends, not so much on
their positive nature, as on the character and habits of the person who
meets them. A woman, educated in the savage state, finds it no trial to
be destitute of many conveniences, which a woman, even of the lowest
condition, in this Country, would deem indispensable to existence. So a
woman, educated with the tastes and habits of the best New England or
Virginia housekeepers, would encounter many deprivations and trials,
which would never occur to one reared in the log cabin of a new
settlement. So, also, a woman, who has been accustomed to carry forward
her arrangements with well-trained domestics, would meet a thousand
trials to her feelings and temper, by the substitution of ignorant
foreigners, or shiftless slaves, which would be of little account to one
who had never enjoyed any better service.
Now, the larger portion of American women are the descendants of English
progenitors, who, as a nation, are distinguished for systematic
housekeeping, and for a great love of order, cleanliness, and comfort.
And American women, to a greater or less extent, have inherited similar
tastes and habits. But the prosperity and democratic tendencies of this
Country produce results, materially affecting the comfort of
housekeepers, which the females of monarchical and aristocratic lands
are not called to meet. In such countries, all ranks and classes are
fixed in a given position, and each person is educated for a particular
sphere and style of living. And the dwellings, conveniences, and customs
of life, remain very nearly the same, from generation to generation.
This secures the preparation of all classes for their particular
station, and makes the lower orders more dependent, and more subservient
to employers.
But how different is the state of things in this Country. Every thing
is moving and changing. Persons in poverty, are rising to opulence, and
persons of wealth, are sinking to poverty. The children of common
laborers, by their talents and enterprise, are becoming nobles in
intellect, or wealth, or office; while the children of the wealthy,
enervated by indulgence, are sinking to humbler stations. The sons of
the wealthy are leaving the rich mansions of their fathers, to dwell in
the log cabins of the forest, where very soon they bear away the
daughters of ease and refinement, to share the privations of a new
settlement. Meantime, even in the more stationary portions of the
community, there is a mingling of all grades of wealth, intellect, and
education. There are no distinct classes, as in aristocratic lands,
whose bounds are protected by distinct and impassable lines, but all are
thrown into promiscuous masses. Thus, persons of humble means are
brought into contact with those of vast wealth, while all intervening
grades are placed side by side. Thus, too, there is a constant
comparison of conditions, among equals, and a constant temptation
presented to imitate the customs, and to strive for the enjoyments, of
those who possess larger means.
In addition to this, the flow of wealth, among all classes, is
constantly increasing the number of those who live in a style demanding
much hired service, while the number of those, who are compelled to go
to service, is constantly diminishing. Our manufactories, also, are
making increased demands for female labor, and offering larger
compensation. In consequence of these things, there is such a
disproportion between those who wish to hire, and those who are willing
to go to domestic service, that, in the non-slaveholding States, were it
not for the supply of poverty-stricken foreigners, there would not be a
domestic for each family who demands one. And this resort to foreigners,
poor as it is, scarcely meets the demand; while the disproportion must
every year increase, especially if our prosperity increases. For, just
in proportion as wealth rolls in upon us, the number of those, who will
give up their own independent homes to serve strangers, will be
diminished.
The difficulties and sufferings, which have accrued to American women,
from this cause, are almost incalculable. There is nothing, which so
much demands system and regularity, as the affairs of a housekeeper,
made up, as they are, of ten thousand desultory and minute items; and
yet, this perpetually fluctuating state of society seems forever to bar
any such system and regularity. The anxieties, vexations, perplexities,
and even hard labor, which come upon American women, from this state of
domestic service, are endless; and many a woman has, in consequence,
been disheartened, discouraged, and ruined in health. The only wonder
is, that, amid so many real difficulties, American women are still able
to maintain such a character for energy, fortitude, and amiableness, as
is universally allowed to be their due.
But the second, and still greater difficulty, peculiar to American
women, is, a delicacy of constitution, which renders them early victims
to disease and decay.
The fact that the women of this Country are unusually subject to
disease, and that their beauty and youthfulness are of shorter
continuance than those of the women of other nations, is one which
always attracts the attention of foreigners; while medical men and
philanthropists are constantly giving fearful monitions as to the extent
and alarming increase of this evil. Investigations make it evident, that
a large proportion of young ladies, from the wealthier classes, have the
incipient stages of curvature of the spine, one of the most sure and
fruitful causes of future disease and decay. The writer has heard
medical men, who have made extensive inquiries, say, that a very large
proportion of the young women at boarding schools, are affected in this
way, while many other indications of disease and debility exist, in
cases where this particular evil cannot be detected.
In consequence of this enfeebled state of their constitutions, induced
by a neglect of their physical education, as soon as they are called to
the responsibilities and trials of domestic life, their constitution
fails, and their whole existence is rendered a burden. For no woman can
enjoy existence, when disease throws a dark cloud over the mind, and
incapacitates her for the proper discharge of every duty.
The writer, who for some ten years has had the charge of an institution,
consisting of young ladies from almost every State in the Union, since
relinquishing that charge, has travelled and visited extensively in most
of the non-slaveholding States. In these circuits, she has learned the
domestic history, not merely of her pupils, but of many other young
wives and mothers, whose sorrowful experience has come to her knowledge.
And the impression, produced by the dreadful extent of this evil, has at
times been almost overwhelming.
It would seem as if the primeval curse, which has written the doom of
pain and sorrow on one period of a young mother's life, in this Country
had been extended over all; so that the hour seldom arrives, when "she
forgetteth her sorrow for joy that a man is born into the world." Many a
mother will testify, with shuddering, that the most exquisite sufferings
she ever endured, were not those appointed by Nature, but those, which,
for week after week, have worn down health and spirits, when nourishing
her child. And medical men teach us, that this, in most cases, results
from a debility of constitution, consequent on the mismanagement of
early life. And so frequent and so mournful are these, and the other
distresses that result from the delicacy of the female constitution,
that the writer has repeatedly heard mothers say, that they had wept
tears of bitterness over their infant daughters, at the thought of the
sufferings which they were destined to undergo; while they cherished
the decided wish, that these daughters should never marry. At the same
time, many a reflecting young woman is looking to her future prospects,
with very different feelings and hopes from those which Providence
designed.
A perfectly healthy woman, especially a perfectly healthy mother, is so
unfrequent, in some of the wealthier classes, that those, who are so,
may be regarded as the exceptions, and not as the general rule. The
writer has heard some of her friends declare, that they would ride fifty
miles, to see a perfectly healthy and vigorous woman, out of the
laboring classes. This, although somewhat jocose, was not an entirely
unfair picture of the true state of female health in the wealthier
classes.
There are many causes operating, which serve to perpetuate and increase
this evil. It is a well-known fact, that mental excitement tends to
weaken the physical system, unless it is counterbalanced by a
corresponding increase of exercise and fresh air. Now, the people of
this Country are under the influence of high commercial, political, and
religious stimulus, altogether greater than was ever known by any other
nation; and in all this, women are made the sympathizing companions of
the other sex. At the same time, young girls, in pursuing an education,
have ten times greater an amount of intellectual taxation demanded, than
was ever before exacted. Let any daughter, educated in our best schools
at this day, compare the course of her study with that pursued in her
mother's early life, and it will be seen that this estimate of the
increase of mental taxation probably falls below the truth. Though, in
some countries, there are small classes of females, in the higher
circles, who pursue literature and science to a far greater extent than
in any corresponding circles in this Country, yet, in no nation in the
world are the advantages of a good intellectual education enjoyed, by so
large a proportion of the females. And this education has consisted far
less of accomplishments, and far more of those solid studies which
demand the exercise of the various powers of mind, than the education
of the women of other lands.
And when American women are called to the responsibilities of domestic
life, the degree in which their minds and feelings are taxed, is
altogether greater than it is in any other nation.
No women on earth have a higher sense of their moral and religious
responsibilities, or better understand, not only what is demanded of
them, as housekeepers, but all the claims that rest upon them as wives,
mothers, and members of a social community. An American woman, who is
the mistress of a family, feels her obligations, in reference to her
influence over her husband, and a still greater responsibility in
rearing and educating her children. She feels, too, the claims which the
moral interests of her domestics have on her watchful care. In social
life, she recognises the claims of hospitality, and the demands of
friendly visiting. Her responsibility, in reference to the institutions
of benevolence and religion, is deeply realized. The regular worship of
the Lord's day, and all the various religious meetings and benevolent
societies which place so much dependence on female influence and
example, she feels obligated to sustain. Add to these multiplied
responsibilities, the perplexities and evils which have been pointed
out, resulting from the fluctuating state of society, and the deficiency
of domestic service, and no one can deny that American women are exposed
to a far greater amount of intellectual and moral excitement, than those
of any other land. Of course, in order to escape the danger resulting
from this, a greater amount of exercise in the fresh air, and all those
methods which strengthen the constitution, are imperiously required.
But, instead of this, it will be found, that, owing to the climate and
customs of this Nation, there are no women who secure so little of this
healthful and protecting regimen, as ours. Walking and riding and
gardening, in the open air, are practised by the women of other lands,
to a far greater extent, than by American females. Most English women,
in the wealthier classes, are able to walk six and eight miles, without
oppressive fatigue; and when they visit this Country, always express
their surprise at the inactive habits of American ladies. In England,
regular exercise, in the open air, is very commonly required by the
mother, as a part of daily duty, and is sought by young women, as an
enjoyment. In consequence of a different physical training, English
women, in those circles which enjoy competency, present an appearance
which always strikes American gentlemen as a contrast to what they see
at home. An English mother, at thirty, or thirty-five, is in the full
bloom of perfected womanhood; as fresh and healthful as her daughters.
But where are the American mothers, who can reach this period unfaded
and unworn? In America, young ladies of the wealthier classes are sent
to school from early childhood; and neither parents nor teachers make it
a definite object to secure a proper amount of fresh air and exercise,
to counterbalance this intellectual taxation. As soon as their school
days are over, dressing, visiting, evening parties, and stimulating
amusements, take the place of study, while the most unhealthful modes of
dress add to the physical exposures. To make morning calls, or do a
little shopping, is all that can be termed their exercise in the fresh
air; and this, compared to what is needed, is absolutely nothing, and on
some accounts is worse than nothing.[B] In consequence of these, and
other evils, which will be pointed out more at large in the following
pages, the young women of America grow up with such a delicacy of
constitution, that probably eight out of ten become subjects of disease,
either before or as soon as they are called to the responsibilities of
domestic life.
But there is one peculiarity of situation, in regard to American women,
which makes this delicacy of constitution still more disastrous. It is
the liability to the exposures and hardships of a newly-settled country.
One more extract from De Tocqueville will give a view of this part of
the subject, which any one, familiar with Western life, will admire for
its verisimilitude.
"The same strength of purpose which the young wives of America display
in bending themselves, at once, and without repining, to the austere
duties of their new condition, is no less manifest in all the great
trials of their lives. In no country in the world, are private fortunes
more precarious, than in the United States. It is not uncommon for the
same man, in the course of his life, to rise and sink again through all
the grades which lead from opulence to poverty. American women support
these vicissitudes with a calm and unquenchable energy. It would seem
that their desires contract, as easily as they expand, with their
fortunes. The greater part of the adventurers, who migrate, every year,
to people the Western wilds, belong" "to the old Anglo-American race of
the Northern States. Many of these men, who rush so boldly onward in
pursuit of wealth, were already in the enjoyment of a competency in
their own part of the Country. They take their wives along with them,
and make them share the countless perils and privations, which always
attend the commencement of these expeditions. I have often met, even on
the verge of the wilderness, with young women, who, after having been
brought up amid all the comforts of the large towns of New England, had
passed, almost without any intermediate stage, from the wealthy abode of
their parents, to a comfortless hovel in a forest. Fever, solitude, and
a tedious life, had not broken the springs of their courage. Their
features were impaired and faded, but their looks were firm: they
appeared to be, at once, sad and resolute."
In another passage, he gives this picturesque sketch: "By the side of
the hearth, sits a woman, with a baby on her lap. She nods to us,
without disturbing herself. Like the pioneer, this woman is in the prime
of life; her appearance would seem superior to her condition: and her
apparel even betrays a lingering taste for dress. But her delicate limbs
appear shrunken; her features are drawn in; her eye is mild and
melancholy; her whole physiognomy bears marks of a degree of religious
resignation, a deep quiet of all passion, and some sort of natural and
tranquil firmness, ready to meet all the ills of life, without fearing
and without braving them. Her children cluster about her, full of
health, turbulence, and energy; they are true children of the
wilderness: their mother watches them, from time to time, with mingled
melancholy and joy. To look at their strength, and her languor, one
might imagine that the life she had given them had exhausted her own;
and still she regrets not what they have cost her. The house, inhabited
by these emigrants, has no internal partition or loft. In the one
chamber of which it consists, the whole family is gathered for the
night. The dwelling is itself a little world; an ark of civilization
amid an ocean of foliage. A hundred steps beyond it, the primeval forest
spreads its shades, and solitude resumes its sway."
Such scenes, and such women, the writer has met, and few persons realize
how many refined and lovely women are scattered over the broad prairies
and deep forests of the West; and none, but the Father above,
appreciates the extent of those sacrifices and sufferings, and the value
of that firm faith and religious hope, which live, in perennial bloom,
amid those vast solitudes. If the American women of the East merit the
palm, for their skill and success as accomplished housekeepers, still
more is due to the heroines of the West, who, with such unyielding
fortitude and cheerful endurance, attempt similar duties, amid so many
disadvantages and deprivations.
But, though American women have those elevated principles and feelings,
which enable them to meet such trials in so exemplary a manner, their
physical energies are not equal to the exertions demanded. Though the
mind may be bright and firm, the casket is shivered; though the spirit
may be willing, the flesh is weak. A woman of firm health, with the hope
and elasticity of youth, may be envied rather than pitied, as she shares
with her young husband the hopes and enterprises of pioneer life. But,
when the body fails, then the eye of hope grows dim, the heart sickens,
the courage dies; and, in solitude, weariness, and suffering, the
wanderer pines for the dear voices and the tender sympathies of a far
distant home. Then it is, that the darkest shade is presented, which
marks the peculiar trials and liabilities of American women, and which
exhibits still more forcibly the disastrous results of that delicacy of
constitution which has been pointed out. For, though all American women,
or even the greater part of them, are not called to encounter such
trials, yet no mother, who rears a family of daughters, can say, that
such a lot will not fall to one of her flock; nor can she know which
will escape. The reverses of fortune, and the chances of matrimony,
expose every woman in the Nation to such liabilities, for which she
needs to be prepared.
FOOTNOTE:
[B] So little idea have most ladies, in the wealthier classes, of what
is a proper amount of exercise, that, if they should succeed in walking
a mile or so, at a moderate pace, three or four times a week, they would
call it taking a great deal of exercise.