something good to eat, but I must be careful and not let them see
me or they will drive me back to the pasture. I will walk on the
grass so my hoofs won't make any noise and listen under the
window, and when the cook leaves the kitchen I will go in and
steal something good."
While standing under the window with his head cocked to one side
listening, he noticed that the outside cellar doors were open. He
started to go down cellar and see what he could find, for he knew
they would put all their good things in the cellar until time to
bring them up to the table.
Tiptoeing his way along, he sneaked down the cellar stairs and
there before him on a table were twelve plates of salad all
garnished and ready to be served. The salad was delicious as it
was cool and crisp and made of chicken served on young lettuce
leaves garnished with radishes. It was so palatable he ate it all
up even licking the plates; he had never been told it was bad
manners to lick your plate.
[Illustration]
Then he saw a floating-island pudding, with the whites of eggs
heaped up high and dotted with candied cherries, floating on the
custard underneath. He ate part of this, getting his head covered
with eggs. Next he spied several cakes covered with icing which
he licked off. Next he saw an ice-cream freezer. Now he had never
seen an ice-cream freezer before so he thought it must contain
something good if he could only get the top off to see what was
inside. In trying to get it off he upset the whole thing and as
the ice rattled out on the floor making a terrible noise, he left
everything and ran for the cellar door just in time to escape the
cook who had heard the noise and had come down the inside stairs
to see what was the matter.
Billy ran around the house and seeing the front door open and no
one around, as they were all in the dining room, he went in and
up stairs. Here he nosed around smelling things and upsetting
things generally, when he came to the bed where the ladies had
laid their wraps. On one of the hats he saw a bunch of green
leaves; of course, he thought them real until he tried to eat
them and the wire stems were in his mouth. Then he tried to eat a
beautiful red rose on another hat with no better success so he
left them, and was just leaving the room when he saw another goat
coming in. He stopped to look at the goat and the other goat
stopped to look back. Then he lowered his horns and shook his
head, which the other goat did also. Now it made Billy mad to
have a goat mock everything he did, so he bleated for him to stop
immediately or he would hook him down the front stair. The other
goat opened his mouth to bleat but no sound came from it and
Billy stared at the new-comer harder than ever but the stranger
goat only stared back. Then Billy bleated, "You get out of here
in double quick time or I will have a fight with you!" The goat
opened its mouth as before but no sound came from it and it
continued to stand in Billy's way and stare right in his face.
This was too much for Billy. He had given him warning to get out
of the way and he would not, so now he was going to make him, and
he went for the goat intending to butt him out of the door. But
instead of his head feeling the soft side of the goat he hit
something hard which broke in a thousand pieces cutting his head
and making the blood flow down his face. When this happened Billy
knew he had been fooled and had butted his own image in a mirror
and that there had been no goat there.
The crash brought the ladies from the dining room headed by Mrs.
Windlass but when they got to the foot of the stairs to come up,
they saw a large white goat standing at the top with blood
flowing down his whiskers. The sight of the blood as much as the
goat made one lady faint and all the others ran in different
directions while Billy scampered down and out of the house.
He was making for the pasture again as fast as he could when he
met a big turkey cock which spread his tail and swelled himself
out intending to keep Billy from passing, but when Billy came up
to him he quietly hooked him on top of the shed where he left him
with all the pride knocked out of him and his feathers drooping.
Billy kept right on and was soon in the pasture. When Nanny saw
her Billy all bloody she commenced to cry and wanted to know who
had shot him. Billy told her he had not been shot and that he had
only cut his head a little on a piece of broken glass. This
explanation satisfied Nanny and she asked no questions. Naturally
Billy did not explain how he had hooked his own image.
Billy walked over to the little stream that flowed through the
pasture and let the water run over his head and face and soon all
trace of blood was washed away, and when the farmer looked them
over that night to find the goat with the bloody face, that his
wife had told him had done all the mischief, he could find none,
so he took it for granted that some stray goat had come in and
done all the damage, and once again Billy got off without being
punished for his misdeeds.
[Illustration]
_Billy As a Performer in the Circus_
One day when all the goats were grazing in the pasture, Billy
looked up and saw coming toward them the farmer and a large, fat
man.
"What can they want?" thought Billy. "I guess I will walk out and
meet them and hear what they are talking about."
As he came within hearing distance, he heard the farmer say:
"Here he comes now, the one I was telling you about and I don't
think you will have any trouble in teaching him anything you want
to, for he seems very smart and not afraid of 'Old Nick'
himself."
"That is good," said the circus-man, "for a timid goat is no good
in a circus where they have to be with all the other animals."
"So," thought Billy, "this is a man from the circus up in town
and he is thinking of buying me and making me perform in his
circus. Well, I guess not," and he kicked up his heels in their
faces and skipped off to the other side of the stream where they
could not get him.
"It takes three to make a bargain where there is a goat in the
case," said Billy to himself, "and I will give them a good chase
if they try to catch me. And should they catch me, I pity the men
and animals at the circus when I get there for I shall use my
sharp horns to advantage and split a hole in their old tent and
come back to Nanny. Now they are looking at Satan, maybe the man
will buy him. No, I am afraid he won't for he is shaking his head
and pointing at me and here they come. The farmer is holding out
his hand as if he had something in it for me to eat. Oh, no, Mr.
Farmer, I am too old a goat to be caught with chaff. However, I
will stand still on this side of the stream and see what they
will do."
And there Billy stood with his head raised waiting for them and
he made as fine a picture of a goat as you ever saw, standing on
a little green knoll with the silvery stream running at his feet.
The circus-man was delighted with him for he was almost twice
the size of any other goat he had ever seen, and he thought how
fine he would look dressed up as a professor with his long, silky
beard.
By this time the men were directly opposite Billy and he noticed
that the circus-man kept his hands behind him all the time, but
presently he drew them forward and in one he held a rope with a
long loop in it.
"So, ho," thought Billy, "he expects to tie that rope around my
neck, does he? Well, let him cross the stream and catch me
first."
But while Billy was thinking this the circus-man was making the
rope fly round and round his head in a long circle, and soon with
a quick twist, the rope straightened out and the loop fell over
Billy's head and settled on his neck while he stood looking at
them.
Billy was the most surprised goat you ever saw, for it was the
first time he had ever seen a lasso thrown and had he only known
it, the circus-man had been a cowboy in his younger days and
lassoed many head of cattle. When Billy found he was fairly
caught, his pride had a fall, for he had thought himself too
smart to be caught, and instead of him leading the men a chase
and making them cross the brook to get him, they were pulling
him off the bank and through the water, making him follow them.
At first he tried to pull back and get away, but he had to give
that up, for the rope tightened round his neck and shut off his
breath and he was glad enough to follow where they led.
When Nanny saw what had happened she ran up to Billy bleating as
if her heart would break for she was very fond of him, and she
was afraid they were going to kill him or take him away forever.
"Don't cry, Nanny. I will get loose and come back to-night, or
to-morrow night sure, if I can't get loose to-night; so don't
take on so. I know my way back and a circus tent is not a hard
thing to get out of."
"But, Billy dear, they may tie you as they have now, and then you
can't get loose," said Nanny.
"Oh, yes I can, when they leave me alone, I can chew the rope in
two."
"But can't I go with you, Billy? I feel so terribly at being left
alone and, think of it, we have not been married two weeks."
"What a pretty face that little Nanny goat has," said the
circus-man.
"Yes," answered the farmer, "they both came to the pasture one
day and joined my goats and have been here ever since. I never
knew where they came from, or whom they belonged to."
"Well, here we are at the barn, you must run back, little Nanny;
I can't take you with me to-day, though it does seem a shame to
separate you two lovers," said the circus-man.
As Billy went through the bars he halted a second to give Nanny a
last good-bye kiss; and with the tears streaming down her face,
Nanny stood and watched him until they were out of sight.
The circus-man tied Billy to the back of his buggy and whipping
up his horse he started for town. Billy had to run fast to keep
up and though he got out of breath, he could not stop unless the
horse did. The worst of it was the horse kicked up such a
dreadful dust that it nearly blinded Billy as it flew up in his
face from under the buggy. At last they came to the outskirts of
the town, where the circus tents were pitched, and Billy was
untied from the buggy and led inside a large tent where cages of
wild animals were arranged around the outer edge, while in the
center two elephants and four camels were tethered. When he got
inside, the circus-man called to one of the men to bring him a
strong peg. This he drove into the ground and tethered Billy to
it, like all the other animals were fastened. Then he told the
man to bring him a bunch of straw for the goat to lie on, and a
bundle of hay for him to eat.
"Hay," thought Billy, "after nice tender young grass and turnips!
Well, I won't stay here long, that is one sure thing. I wonder if
I can understand a word of what these heathen, foreign animals
say, but I expect I can read their minds, if I can't understand
their tongues for most animals are mind readers and mind is the
same the world over, though their thoughts are not the same."
While Billy was thinking this, the circus-man and the other man
left the tent and Billy was startled by the elephant sticking his
trunk up to Billy's mouth and asking him to speak through it, as
he was a little deaf and used his trunk as an ear trumpet. He was
just going to introduce himself to the elephant and ask the
elephant's name in return, when one of the camels in a weak,
weary voice asked the same question he had been going to ask the
elephant; so he introduced himself to the camel and she in return
presented him to all the other animals that were within hearing
distance. She did not introduce him to any of the beasts in the
cages, as she said the animals that were loose looked down upon
the caged ones and seldom spoke to them. The name of one of the
camels was Miss Nancy, and she was a regular old maid of a camel,
who did nothing but gossip and ask questions.
"Have you ever performed in a circus or traveled with one
before?" she asked Billy. When hearing that he had not, she
rolled up her eyes, a habit she had, and exclaimed: "Poor
uneducated beast, what you have missed, never to have been taught
to perform in a circus." This was a calamity in her eyes. She
could not remember ever being anywhere else, as she had been born
in a circus in this country shortly after her mother had been
brought here from Persia.
"I am so glad I was not born in Persia, for had I been I should
have had to carry heavy loads and cross the burning desert with
very little water to drink. While now, all I have to do is to
march in the processions and then stand and look wise while the
boys feed me peanuts as they walk into the circus to see the
performance. Oh, you will like being with us when you get used to
the confinement," she said.
"For mercy sakes! Nancy, do keep still and give some one else a
chance to talk," said her mother.
Just then the lion roared and when he roared, all the other
animals stopped talking for he was still looked upon as king of
the beasts although he was caged. They all stood a little in awe
of him for fear he would break through his cage and chew them up,
as he threatened to do so many times when they did not stop
talking immediately when he roared.
This time he roared to know who the new comer was and if he was
an American relative of his, for as Billy had a beard like the
lion's, only much longer, the lion thought he must be an American
lion.
"Come over here, near my cage, Mr. Beardy, where I can see you,"
said the lion.
"I can't," said Billy, "my rope is too short."
"Oh, very well," he roared back, "I will see you in the
procession, to-morrow, for I hear you are to march back of my
cage."
The lion's keeper came in to see what the lion was roaring about
and in passing Billy he stopped to get a good look at him, and
presently he was joined by another man, who Billy found out took
the part of the clown and who was expected to walk by Billy's
side in the procession while a monkey rode his back.
"You are a pretty fine looking goat, old fellow, and I expect we
will become great friends. Here is a lump of sugar to begin our
friendship with, or do you prefer tobacco?" said the clown.
"He seems like a nice man," thought Billy, "but I never thought
to see the day when I would march in a procession with a monkey
on my back and a clown at my side, and I don't know whether I
will allow him to ride or not, but I guess I will behave for
awhile and see what life is like under a circus tent."
The next day dawned bright and fair and there was great commotion
throughout the circus, getting ready for the eleven o'clock
procession that was to march through the streets. Early in the
morning, Billy was led into the sawdust ring, and a peculiar
saddle like a little platform was strapped to his back. This the
monkey was to dance on, dressed as a ballet girl, with yellow,
spangled skirts, a satin bodice and a blue cap with a feather in
it on his head.
When Billy first saw the monkey in this dress walking on his hind
legs toward him to get on his back, he had a good mind to toss
him up to the top of the tent, he felt so disgusted; but his
curiosity got the better of him and he decided to wait and see
what they expected him to do next. He soon found out. They
wanted him to trot around the ring, and not jump when the ring
master cracked his long lashed whip at him, while the monkey
danced on his back and jumped through paper rings, as the lady
circus riders do.
"This is very easy," thought Billy, "I don't mind this in the
least, only I don't want to go around too many times one way for
it makes me dizzy."
"That will do for this morning, Billy, you are a good goat," said
the man. Just then the monkey jumped off Billy's back, and as he
ran past him, he gave Billy's beard a pull. Like a shot Billy was
after him and had the monkey not run up a pole, Billy would have
killed him. From that time on, Billy and the monkey, whose name
was Jocko, hated each other and an outward peace was only kept up
when someone was around to keep them apart.
The monkey would climb a pole or sit on top of a wagon, or
anything high that was handy, so Billy could not reach him and
then call him names and sauce him until Billy pawed the earth
with rage, which made the monkey laugh. The only one that could
get even with the monkey's tongue was the parrot, and she and the
monkey would sit and sauce each other by the hour.
Billy was about cooled down from his fuss with the monkey, when
he heard a bugle call and the elephant told him that it was the
signal for the procession to start. While Billy had been put
through his paces in the circus ring, the elephants had been
decked out in scarlet blankets embroidered with gold and funny
little summer houses, as Billy thought, strapped to their backs,
in which ladies were to ride. The camels had also been fixed up,
and from four to six horses, with waving plumes on their heads,
had been hitched to each circus wagon.
At another signal from the bugle, they all started to move, led by
the men and women performers, dressed in their best spangled
velvet suits. Then came what Billy thought to be the best thing in
the procession, a golden chariot drawn by twelve Shetland ponies,
each pony ridden by a little boy postilion, in scarlet velvet;
while in the chariot sat a beautiful, little, golden-haired girl,
dressed as a queen, with a diamond crown on her head.
It fairly took Billy's breath away, he thought it all so
beautiful, and he started to follow.
"All right, Jim, let him go there if he wants to. He probably
thinks the ponies are goats and will behave better than if put
with the lions."
"What an idiot that man is!" thought Billy, "to think I don't
know a pony from a goat."
It was a good thing they let him march there for he was so taken
up with watching the ponies in front of him that he forgot to be
mad at Jocko, who was going through all sorts of antics on his
back and swinging on Billy's horns. Everything was going smoothly
when Billy saw Mike O'Hara coming out of the crowd; he came up to
the clown that was walking beside him and said: "Look here, that
is my goat!"
"Well, I guess not, you must be crazy."
"I'll prove it to you," said Mike. "Do you see that black spot on
his forehead and that he has one black hoof and all the others
are white?"
"That don't prove anything," said the clown. "You just noticed
that as we were walking along, and now you come up here and try
to claim our goat."
"I'll give you another proof," said Mike. "He will come when I
call him."
"All right, call him, and I bet he won't follow you," said the
clown.
Mike held out his hand and called him by name, but Billy did not
turn an inch though he knew he belonged to Mike. He did not
propose to go with him and be made to pull milk carts. He
preferred to stay where he was as he liked the excitement of a
circus life.
When Billy did not go to Mike, it made the clown laugh and he
said: "There, I told you so. The goat never saw you before."
"Yes, he has," said Mike, "but it is just like his cussedness to
pretend he don't know me."
"Go along, I can't bother talking to you any more," said the
clown, as all this time Mike had been walking beside the clown as
they marched.
"Well, you need not talk to me any more," said Mike, "but I am
going to have my goat." And with that he caught hold of Billy's
horns and was going to lead him away.
"Here, take your hands off that goat, you are stopping the
procession!" But Mike held on and the clown gave him a hit in the
ribs. Mike struck back and a policeman, who was standing in the
crowd, ran out and arrested Mike for disorderly conduct and for
stopping the procession. This was the second time that Mike had
been arrested on Billy's account.
When the procession returned to the tents, all the animals and
horses were fed and allowed to rest so as to be fresh for the
afternoon's performance. Billy had been resting only a short
time, when a couple of men came toward him, one carrying a table
and the other a long black gown of some kind.
"What in the world are they going to do now," thought Billy.
When they came up to him, the man that was carrying the table put
it down and then brought a high backed arm chair and set it up
close to the table. Then the men came up to Billy and one of them
said: "Now, old fellow, we are going to make a professor out of
you," and with that they both took hold of him and made him stand
on his hind legs while they put the black gown on him and a black
skull cap on his head, and a pair of spectacles on his nose,--the
latter they had to tie on. Then a man got on each side of him and
supported him to the table where they made him sit in the chair.
They put his forehoofs on the table and a large book before him
and a pen behind his ears. When they had him all fixed, you never
saw such a wise looking professor in your life as he made, with
his long, white beard. The men were so delighted with his
appearance and the way he behaved when dressed up, that they
called all the rest of the circus people to come and look. Of
course they laughed and praised and petted Billy, until he was
nearly bursting with conceit and they all agreed that it would
tickle the children most to death to see how solemn and straight
a goat could sit in a chair.
"Now Billy, we will take these things off and let you rest for
your back must be tired as you are not used to sitting up, but
you will get used to it and it won't make you tired after awhile.
Come here, and I will give you this nice red apple for being such
a good goat. You behaved so nicely that I think we will venture
to show you off at the performance this afternoon."
This they did and he got more encores and whistles and clapping
of hands than anything else that was shown that afternoon, more
even than the ponies. Before they brought him in, the Ring Master
came in and said: "Now ladies and gentlemen, I am about to
introduce to you the oldest and most wonderful astrologer now
living. He will read to you, from a mystic book, the fate of the
world and whether it is to be destroyed by fire or water."
[Illustration]
When he had finished speaking, four men drew a platform in, on
which Billy was seated in his chair at the table. But the
strangest part of it all was, that when everything was still and
the crowd were all watching him, he commenced to read and turn
the pages of the book, and he spoke so plainly that everyone
could understand and hear. This surely was wonderful, and the
children could not make up their minds whether it was a man with
goat's horns, for his long horns stuck out through two holes on
either side of his cap, or a goat with a man's voice; and when
the Ring Master told the children that the professor had just
dropped from the sign of the Zodiac called Capricorn, which is
represented in all the almanacs by a goat, they thought he must
be telling the truth. He did not tell them that hidden under the
platform was a man that did the talking, and when the leaves of
the book turned, that he was pulling a string which made them
turn over, but everyone thought the goat was doing it himself.
After the performance was over, all the children as they passed
fed Billy peanuts, candy, pop-corn and apples as he stood by the
elephant.
Billy had behaved like a lamb for days and gone through all his
performances without a hitch,--in fact he had become the pet of
the circus, and allowed to roam about at will and was never tied
not even at night. So this night after all had settled down and
gone to bed, Billy, feeling wakeful, thought he would move around
a little and take a peep into the other tents. First he stuck his
nose into a little tent where they sold pop-corn, peanuts,
lemonade etc., during the performances.
"Now is my chance," thought Billy, "to eat all the pop-corn I
want, for I never have gotten enough to satisfy me at any one
time, but how can I get it out of that glass case. It looks so
easy to get at and smells so good, I must have some, even if I
have to break the glass to get at it."
He stood licking the glass for a little while; then his greed
getting the better of him, he backed off and gave the glass a
quick hard knock with his horns. It broke and flew in all
directions and let the pop-corn roll out in a perfect stream.
Billy stopped to listen a minute to see if the noise of the
breaking glass had brought anyone to see what was the matter, and
when no one came, he commenced to eat the salted and buttered
corn, and he ate until for once in his life he could say he had
had enough. But, oh my! what a thirst it had given him, and he
did not know where to get a drink unless he went and stole it out
of the elephant's tub of water, but he did not like to go there
as the elephant's keeper slept near his charge and he might catch
him and tie him up.
Billy was just leaving the tent when he ran into a large tin
water cooler. It took but a minute to push the top off with his
nose and then he began to drink. But what was the matter with the
water? It had turned sour and had round pieces of yellow, sour
stuff floating in it; it was his first taste of lemonade,
consequently he did not know what he was drinking.