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[Illustration: "LOOK HERE, THAT IS MY GOAT!"]
BILLY
WHISKERS
THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A GOAT
by
Frances Trego Montgomery
Illustrated by W. H. Fry
Saalfield Publishing Company,
Akron, Ohio,
1902.
* * * * *
CONTENTS
MR. WAGNER BUYS A GOAT
BILLY WHISKERS MAKES TROUBLE
BILLY AT THE SODA FOUNTAIN
BILLY GIVES THE BOYS A DUCKING IN THE MILL POND
BILLY'S ADVENTURES IN TOWN
BILLY HAS A RIDE IN THE POLICE PATROL WAGON
BILLY JOINS THE FIRE PATROL
BILLY AND NANNY GET INTO MISCHIEF
BILLY AND NANNY ARE MARRIED
BILLY AS A PERFORMER IN THE CIRCUS
BILLY AND THE SNAKES
WHAT BILLY DID ON SUNDAY
WHAT BILLY DID ON MONDAY
WHAT BILLY DID ON TUESDAY
WHAT BILLY DID ON WEDNESDAY
WHAT BILLY DID ON THURSDAY
WHAT BILLY DID ON FRIDAY
BILLY FINDS NANNY
* * * * *
ILLUSTRATIONS
"LOOK HERE, THAT IS MY GOAT!" _Frontispiece_
IN TWO MINUTES, HE HAD SENT THE DOG FLYING OVER THE FENCE.
THE ITALIAN WAS SO HORRIFIED AND DISMAYED TO SEE WHAT HAD
HAPPENED THAT HE FORGOT WHAT LITTLE ENGLISH HE KNEW.
THIS CALLED FORTH A SHOUT OF GLEE FROM THE POLICEMEN WHO WERE
LOOKING OVER THE FENCE.
THE FARMER STOPPED TO SEE WHAT ALL THE ROW WAS ABOUT.
"OH, MY! LOOK AT THIS QUEER-LOOKING GOAT WITH THREE HORNS. DON'T
HE LOOK FIERCE?"
* * * * *
_Mr. Wagner Buys a Goat_
Mr. Wagner lived about two miles from a small town, and he
thought it would be nice for his boys to have a little goat cart,
so they could drive into town for mail and do errands for the
family.
Without saying anything to his family, he appeared one evening
leading a nice, docile looking, long-bearded Billy goat, hitched
to a beautiful new red wagon.
Of course, the boys were wild with delight, and their mother
disgusted, for she predicted that he would be more bother than he
was worth, and would eat up all the things in the garden. They
answered her that they would take good care that he never got
loose, and that no wrong would happen, if she would only let
them keep the goat. So with many misgivings she gave her consent,
and Billy was led to the stable behaving like a lamb.
The boys christened him Billy Whiskers immediately, on account of
his long white beard. It being a warm night, they tied him near a
shed, so if it rained he could go under it for protection, and
giving him some grass and a bucket of water, they went to bed to
dream of the fun they were going to have the next day with Billy
Whiskers.
It was five hours later when Billy awakened from his first long
sleep, and feeling refreshed, thought he would take a look
around. It was bright moonlight, and as all the lights were out
in the house, he knew he would not be disturbed, for when he went
to a new place he did not like to be interfered with when he made
his first explorations, and he always preferred making them at
night, and alone. You will no doubt think that he could not
explore much, tied to a short rope, but if you think the rope
made any difference you do not know the ways of an educated goat,
and Billy had no Kindergarten education either, but a regular
High School training in that respect.
He turned, and taking the rope in his mouth as he had done many
times before, he quietly and peacefully chewed it until it fell
apart, and then with a kick of his heels, and a wink at the
house, he went toward the garden. From this direction the evening
breeze was wafting to his nostrils sweet odors of dew-sprinkled
lettuce and tender beet tops.
He ate up all the lettuce, or at least all the choice heads, and
what beets he did not eat, he stepped on. Then he walked across
the flower beds, and trampled down all the flowers, in a short
cut to the pump, for he was getting thirsty.
On his way to the pump he thought he saw a man coming down the
road, so he hurried along and went up on the veranda of the house
to stand in the shadow until the man went by, for he knew that
men often interfere with a goat's pleasure, even if it is only a
moonlight stroll.
The man having passed, he walked around the veranda trying every
now and then to look in at the window to see what kind of a house
his new master had. At last he came to the front door and he
could not help trying to taste the bell knob, it looked so much
like a knob of salt in the moonlight. To be sure he knew that it
was not salt, but it did look so good to eat, and he had often
eaten things before that were not down on the diet list of a
goat, so he took another chew but, horrors! what was that! There
was a terrible ringing and clanging in the house,--it sounded
like a fire bell; and the next minute Mr. Wagner stuck his head
out of the window and wanted to know who was there. Of course
there was no answer, and Billy stood as still as possible to
listen and see what Mr. Wagner would do next; then he walked to
the edge of the porch, and heard Mr. Wagner say, "Who is there?
Can't you answer, or are you deaf and dumb, or drunk?"
[Illustration]
Still no response, and Billy walked back and gave another lick at
the bell, which immediately gave another loud ring. Mr. Wagner
drew his head in, and Billy heard him say, "I'll come down and
break your stupid head for you, wakening people up this time of
the night!" When Billy heard this, he thought that it was time to
go, so he scooted around the house, and went and laid down by his
rope, just as if he were still tied and had not stirred a peg.
Mr. Wagner opened the door, and finding no one there, walked
around the house holding a candle over his head to see if some
drunken tramp had not rung the bell. He thought that he heard
steps on the veranda as he came to the door, but no one was in
sight only Billy Whiskers, apparently asleep by the shed.
"Hello! Billy old fellow, how are you getting along? Seen anyone
around here lately?"
But Billy only blinked and laughed in his skin to see Mr. Wagner
prancing around in his night-shirt, with the tallow from the
candle dropping on his bald head.
Mr. Wagner went in and was about to get into bed, when he thought
he saw in the moonlight a figure come out of the shed and go
toward the house. The moon went under a cloud just at that minute
and was hid from sight, so he kept still, straining his eyes to
see and his ears to hear. He heard the chain rattle on the bucket
at the well.
"Oh! ho!" he thought, "the tramp thinks that I have gone to bed,
and that he will get a drink, and then prowl around some more.
Well, we will see. I will just get my shot gun and fire a shot to
scare him, if he does not answer."
So grabbing his gun, which always stood by the window loaded for
use, he called out again:
"Who is there? Speak, or I'll shoot!"
As the words left his mouth, an object started on a run from the
well, and Mr. Wagner fired, not stopping to see what it was, but
supposing it to be a man. Just then the moon sailed from under
the cloud, and there in the moonlight lay poor Billy Whiskers
stunned and nearly frightened to death with a flesh wound in his
side. When Mr. Wagner saw what he had done, and that it was only
the goat, he pulled down the window, and went to bed, too mad to
even go to see if the goat was dead or not.
The next morning Billy was as lively as ever, only a little faint
from loss of blood and rather subdued. The children bathed his
wound with witch hazel, and after a good breakfast, he was as
well as ever, and ready for play or work.
Of course Mrs. Wagner said, "I told you so," several times, only
varying it with, "Yes, you just wait and see, that goat will get
into more trouble than he is worth, just see if he won't."
When she said this, she did not know of the midnight meal off her
nice lettuce he had had in the garden.
Billy did not get into much mischief during the remainder of the
day, except chewing up the dish-rags which were hung on the lilac
bush to dry, and all the flowers off the oleander.
The next day was his unlucky day, maybe because it was Friday. It
happened in this way, Mr. Wagner had some extra nice strawberries,
which he had taken special pains to pick and fix up, intending to
send them to a friend in town. He told the boys that they could
take the goat cart and drive into town, with the berries and some
nice lettuce for his friend, and get the mail on the way back.
The boys were delighted at the prospect of driving Billy in the
new cart. They packed the things in nicely, and hitching Billy
up, drove out of the lane in fine style, on a fast trot.
Everything went well until half-way to town, when Jimmy Brown
sicked his dog on the goat, and then the trouble commenced.
[Illustration: IN TWO MINUTES, HE HAD SENT THE DOG FLYING OVER
THE FENCE.]
Billy Whiskers made a plunge for the dog, missed him, but gave
the cart a quick jerk, which spilled the boys and the berries out
in great shape, and then the scrimmage began. The boys went for
Jimmy Brown, and the goat for the dog, dragging the overturned
cart with him, and in two minutes, he had sent the dog flying
over the fence, with his sharp horns. He then proceeded to walk
quietly back to where the strawberries and lettuce were lying in
the road, and commenced eating them, as if nothing had happened
at all. All this time the boys were pulling each other's hair,
and rolling over in the dust, in a regular pitched battle. Billy
having eaten all he cared for, walked off and lay down in the
shade to rest, still dragging the cart after him. He was just
losing himself in sleep, when he was jerked to his feet in a
hurry; the cart was straightened; and before he knew what he was
about, he was being driven toward home as fast as his legs could
go, and from the conversation he learned that they had taken
their departure so hurriedly because they had seen Jimmy's big
brother coming down the road, and they did not care to stop and
fight him too. Arriving at home, with dirty, bloody faces;
clothes torn, and no letter of thanks from the people the berries
had been sent to, the boys were afraid to go in so they decided
that the best plan would be to cry and howl and limp, as if they
were nearly dead, to excite their mother's sympathy; so that she
would be too frightened to scold them. They made the small holes
larger in their clothes, rubbed a little more dirt on their
faces, and squeezed a little more blood out of their scratches;
and screaming at the top of their voices, they drove into the
lane. The ruse was a success, for first came Kate, the cook, to
see what was the matter; then John, the hired man; and last
mother and father, from out of the garden where they had been
examining the damages which Billy had done two nights before.
All mother said was, "That goat has to be sold, Silas Wagner, I
told you that trouble would come when you brought that long
whiskered animal home."
And the next day the goat was sold.
[Illustration]
_Billy Whiskers Makes Trouble_
The day after Billy Whiskers was sold to the Biggses he was shut
in a small yard to keep him out of mischief. Feeling lonesome, he
thought that he would jump the fence and look around a little. He
was getting cross-eyed looking through the palings of the fence
which were very close together, so suiting the action to the
thought, he vaulted over the fence, landing in a kettle of
scarlet dye, that had been left there to cool. When he got out of
the kettle the fore-part of him was scarlet, and the hind, white,
but he did not mind that, so after shaking the drops from his
eyes and beard, he was as ready to explore as if nothing had
happened.
[Illustration]
Seeing the kitchen door open, he went up the steps softly and
looked in. He could see no one in the kitchen, and smelling some
nice sweet-cakes, which had just been taken out of the oven and
placed on the table, he walked cautiously across the floor and
began to eat them. From the floor he could only reach a few, so
he mounted a chair, and from that stepped onto the table. As he
did so, he stepped into a large loaf cake with frosting on it.
While kicking that off, and licking the frosting off his feet, he
caught sight of a nice red apple that one of the children had put
on a small shelf for safe keeping. This he quickly packed away
where moth and rust doth not corrupt. Hearing some noise, he was
about to get off the table, when raising his head, he faced
another goat. But this goat must have come from the infernal
regions for in all his life he had never seen such a villainous
looking fellow. Billy was no coward, so he backed off as far as
the table would allow, and then butted forward as hard as he
could. A crash! a bang! and the other goat was upon him, and they
both rolled off the table.
Where had the other goat disappeared when he had butted him, and
what was this thing around his neck? A looking-glass frame, with
little pieces of glass sticking in it. Backing out of the frame,
Billy went in pursuit of the other goat; for he did not know that
it was his own image he had butted in the kitchen looking-glass.
Seeing a dark hall-way, he went boldly in, and walked on toward a
light he saw at the other end. Arriving there, he found that the
light came from a window in the parlor. He marched in, still
looking for his rival, but soon forgot him in gazing at the
things in the room, especially a fancy basket of fruit under a
glass cover. Now Billy was very partial to fruit of all kinds, so
he upset the marble-top table the basket was setting on and out
rolled all the luscious looking fruit. He bit into a rosy cheeked
peach, but of all fruit he had ever eaten, this was the most
tasteless and tough. It stuck to his teeth so he could not
separate his upper jaw from his lower. Just then he heard voices,
and some one say:
"Susie, I heard a terrible crash down stairs. You had better run
down and see what it was. You may have left the kitchen door open
and the cat possibly came in and upset something."
Then he heard Susie say, "All right, Mum."
He thought that if anyone was coming down he had better get out
so he started on a run, but the door at the end of the hall had
blown shut, and the only other way of escape was up the front
stairs. As he reached the top, he saw Susie who had been
scrubbing the top of the back stairs, throw down her brush,
preparatory to going to see what the noise was. They both caught
sight of each other at the same moment, and Susie thought the
long, sinister looking, scarlet-bearded face with the horns, that
appeared at the top of the stairs, was the devil; and with a
blood-curdling scream she threw up her hands and rolled to the
foot of the stairs, upsetting the pail of suds that she had
clutched when she felt herself falling. There she lay too
frightened to move, but Billy rushed on trying to find a way out
for he commenced to feel that there would be trouble if he were
found.
Mrs. Biggs, hearing Susie scream, rushed to the door with her
mouth full of tacks, and a hammer in her hand, just in time to
get butted into by Billy, which laid her flat on her back in less
time than you can wink. As luck would have it, the shock made her
open her mouth and the tacks flew out for if she had swallowed
them she would never have gotten off her back.
Billy Whiskers gave her one look when he saw what he had done,
and turned and fled back down the stairs, and out the front door
between the legs of Mr. Biggs who was just coming in, and Billy
being a big goat, and Mr. Biggs a short, stout man, there was not
much room to go through, but it was the first daylight Billy had
seen, so he gave Mr. Biggs a boost as he straddled his back,
which helped him to fall off, over the side of the porch where he
landed in a nice soft bed of geraniums.
As Billy was a knowing goat, he decided that they would not care
for him after what had happened, nor look for him if he
disappeared, so seeing the front gate open, he ran out and
trotted down the road and that was the last that was heard of
him. His surmises were right. The Biggses never even looked for
him.
[Illustration]
_Billy at the Soda Fountain_
After Billy Whiskers had left Mr. Biggs, he trotted slowly down
the road wondering where he would get his next meal for he well
knew he would never dare go back to Mr. Biggses after upsetting
him in the geranium bed and causing all the mischief he had there
that day. But being a goat of a cheerful frame of mind and used
to looking out for himself, he did not worry much, and decided he
would enter the first garden he came to, and make a free lunch
off the vegetables, or go into a turnip patch and feast on them
for if there was anything he doted on it was nice, sweet turnips,
fresh from the fields.
He had gone some distance, and no patch or garden appearing that
was not enclosed by a high, barbed-wire fence, he commenced to
get discouraged. Feeling hungry and thirsty he was about wishing
he had behaved himself at Mr. Biggses so he could go back, when
he came to a turn in the road and there before him stood a frame
building, with the door open and over the door a large picture of
a white Polar bear sitting on a cake of ice, drinking a foaming
glass of soda-water, while in a circle round him sat little
bears, each with a glass of something cool to drink.
"This is just the place I have been looking for," thought Billy,
"where thirsty animals can get a drink." So in he walked, much to
the fright of a party of picnickers, who were sitting around a
little table drinking soda-water and lemonade, and eating
ice-cream.
The man at the soda fountain on seeing Billy was so surprised
that he forgot to turn off the fizz he was putting into a glass
of soda he was mixing, and it foamed up and ran up his sleeve and
all over everything.
This caused the young people to laugh, which made the young man
behind the counter mad. He picked up a bottle of ginger-ale and
pretended to throw it at Billy, but alas for his intentions! He
raised it too high; it hit a large bottle of syrup that stood on
a shelf behind him, breaking both bottles at the same time, and
instead of hurting Billy, he got a sticky bath of syrup and a
shower of ginger in his own eyes. This was adding insult to
injury, he thought, and this last mishap turned the laughter of
the crowd into a scream of merriment which did not lessen his
anger in the least. He grabbed a broom that stood near by and
jumping over the counter went for Billy, who all this time had
been standing still, doing nothing but looking at the man and
waiting for him to give him a drink of some kind.
[Illustration]
When Billy saw the man jump over the counter with the broom, he
knew he was after him but at the same time he made up his mind
that he would not leave that store until he had had a drink of
something,--man or no man.
So when the man made a lunge at him with the broom, Billy made a
quick rush at the man and planted his head in the middle of the
fellow's stomach sending him sprawling on the floor where he
landed in the midst of a shower of tooth-brushes he had upset as
he flew by the show cases.
This catastrophe frightened the girls and boys who had been
sitting sipping soda and laughing at the man, and there was a mad
scramble to get out but Billy was too quick for them. He wheeled
round and butted the tail end of one fellow's coat so hard that
it sent him flying clear through the open door and out into the
road where he landed in a mud-puddle.
Then he turned and went for the girls who were all huddled
together against the wall, screaming and crying with fright. He
walked up to them. As they saw him coming, they thought their
time had come and threw up their hands to cover their eyes and
screamed harder than ever. But he only took a bunch of green wax
grapes off the hat of one of the girls and commenced to chew it,
and he would have left them alone but one of the boys who was
with them came to their rescue and tried to drive Billy away by
giving him a hard blow with a chair he had picked up. This
infuriated Billy and he gave the whole bunch of girls a butt and
then turned and went for the boy, who was holding the chair high
over his head ready to strike. Billy stuck his long horns into
the boy's chest and laid him flat on the floor in an instant.
Then he walked up on him and planted his two feet on his breast
while he lowered his head, licking the boy's face all over with
his tongue. This made the boy furious but he could do nothing as
the goat was heavy, and with his weight on his chest he thought
he would smother.
By that time the soda-fountain man had recovered his breath and
came at Billy again with his broom raised ready to strike. Billy
saw him coming and left the boy he was standing on, and ran
behind one of the tables. Then the chase began; round and round
the tables and chairs went the goat with the man after him,
upsetting everything as they went, until the store looked as if a
cyclone had struck it, with the foaming soda-water and ice-cream
running all over the floor.
When Billy thought he had tired the soda man out he ran out the
door and sent those that were standing there scattering like a
flock of chickens. All you could see for a while were blue
stockings, black stockings, white petticoats and heels as the
girls ran screaming in all directions. Each girl thought Billy
was behind her, but was too afraid to turn round to look, so kept
running until she had reached a place of safety, either climbing
a fence or getting behind something; and then when she turned to
look there was no Billy Goat in sight, for Mr. Billy had
disappeared in a small grove behind the store.
After Billy had left them he went on through the woods until he
came to a little shanty with a small clearing behind it, where
cabbages, turnips and such things were planted, and as the gate
was open he walked in and began to help himself for he saw at a
glance that everything was shut up tight and that there was no
one at home.
After eating all he wanted he walked up to the porch where he saw
a nice pail of water. This he drank in a twinkle and while doing
so thought of that mean soda-water man who would not give him a
drink.
"But I don't care," thought Billy, "this tastes better, and I got
even with him anyway."
Billy looked round and saw a straw-stack at the further end of
the yard and a low shed, which backed up to another shed in the
next yard. Billy noticed for the first time that there was
another house and yard adjoining the one where he was and from
there he could hear voices saying, "Good-night." Then all was
still and he walked to the straw-stack and lay down in its
shelter and was soon fast asleep.
He had no idea how long he had been asleep when he heard a woman
say, in a high-pitched voice:
"Rooney, I told you, you would leave that gate open once too
many times and some one's cow would get in and eat up all the
cabbages; and now look, some cow or horse has been in here and
eaten and trampled down all of our nice young cabbages and
turnips. I've a mind to shake your head off, so I have!"
Then the same voice raised itself and called "Tim, Tim, come here
and see what mischief has been done!"
Billy lay still and looked in the direction from which he heard
the voice sound, and presently he saw a short, fat, red-headed
boy come around the corner of the house. They went to the cabbage
patch and began to replant the cabbages that he had trampled down
and not eaten, when all of a sudden the woman looked in the
direction of the straw-stack and spied Billy.
"Begorry, Tim, what is that? A big white dog or what, down by the
straw-stack?" asked Mrs. Rooney.
Tim looked and said: "No, mother, it is a goat. Let's drive him
out; he is the one that has done all the mischief," and as he
spoke he picked up a stone to throw at Billy.
"Put down that stone and what are ye about, Tim Rooney? Don't ye
know a fine Billy goat is a nice thing to have in the family? And
it is luck he will bring us by coming to us himself. Put him in
the shed, and to-morrow you can hitch him to your cart and make
him haul the cabbages to market."
Tim pulled up a bunch of nice, fresh carrots and approached
Billy. With these he induced Billy to follow him to the shed
where he locked him in for the night.
After fastening Billy in, Tim went off and left Billy to take
care of himself the best he could, and he soon found a heap of
straw which he curled himself upon and was in dreamland in no
time.
He had been asleep for several hours when he was awakened by a
dog barking at the moon, and he was about going off in another
nap when he thought he heard the bleating of a goat in the shed
adjoining his.
He pricked up his ears to listen and sure enough he heard it
again very distinctly, and at the same time he saw a large knot
hole in the board partition that divided his shed from the
adjoining one, so he got up and went to look through it to see if
he could not see the goat he heard bleating.
Into the next shed the moonlight was streaming, and lying on a
pile of straw in the light he saw a beautiful white Nanny goat,
that made his old heart palpitate with delight, he was so glad to
see one of his own tribe again.
Nanny lay there unconscious of his presence; apparently bleating
in her sleep, she lay so still. As she did not move Billy
concluded to awaken her so he bleated "Good evening" to her. He
had only gotten half through his salutation when she jumped up
quickly as if she had been touched with an electric wire, and
looking around with a frightened stare, said:
"Good gracious, how you frightened me! Who are you, and where are
you, for I see no one?"
"You can't see me, but I am here all the same, at the other side
of the shed, looking at you through the knot hole. My name is
Billy Whiskers and I come from nowhere in particular and I am
bound for the same place. Now, tell me your name and the name of
the people you are living with."
"My name is Nanny O'Hara and I live with a family of the same
name but I belong to their eldest son, Mike."
"And does he treat you good, my fair friend?" asked Billy.
"Oh, yes," answered Nanny, "as well as boys generally do, but he
often makes me pull heavy loads and forgets to feed and water me
sometimes."
"Oh, the brute," said Billy, "to make anyone as handsome as you
pull heavy loads. How I wish I could help you, for I am strong
and used to pulling large loads. The next time he makes you do it
just run into a tree and upset his cart, or better still, run
away altogether and find someone else to live with."
"Oh, Mr. Billy, I would not dare do either, I am so timid."
"Hark, here comes some one and we must not let them hear us
talking," said Billy, "So ta-ta, I'll see you to-morrow."
Sure enough they had heard some one talking. It was Tim Rooney
and his chum, Mike O'Hara, whom he was bringing to show his goat.
As they unfastened the door, Billy heard Mike say:
"I tell you, Tim, what I will do if he turns out as fine a goat
as you say he is. I'll give you a dollar and a half for him."
"So ye'll give me a dollar and a half, will ye? Well I like
that--a dollar and a half for the finest goat ye ever laid your
two eyes on! Not much--what do ye take me for, an idjet? I don't
want er sell but if ye'll offer injucements enough I may think
about it, for we have no cart or harness fine enough for so
handsome a goat as this one."
"Well, open the door and let's see him," said Mike.
Tim opened the door and there stood Billy Whiskers in all his
glory with his most dignified expression mixed with a little
disgust, for had he not heard himself valued at _a dollar and a
half_,--he that had brought _twenty dollars_ in his day!
Tim tied a rope around Billy's neck and led him out of the shed
and then the bargaining began again.
"Well, since I have seen him," says Mike, "and find he is pretty
large, I'll raise my bid to two dollars cash."
"Not on your life will I sell him for _that_," said Tim.
"Then how does _three_ strike you, or you keep your goat for I
won't pay another cent. It costs too much to keep a big goat like
that; they eat up everything on the place."
This Tim well knew and as he was short of money and a circus was
coming to town the next week, he decided to let him go. But not
without one last effort to get a little more out of Mike. Now
Mike had a hunting knife Tim had long coveted, though it had a
rusty blade and a wobbly handle, so he said:
"I'll tell you what I'll do, Mike. I'll let you have him for
three dollars cash and your hunting knife with a package of
cigarettes thrown in."
"All right, it's a go!" said Mike. So Mike took hold of Billy's
rope and led him into his yard and thus Billy changed hands once
more and became the property of Mike O'Hara.
[Illustration]
_Billy Gives the Boys a Ducking in the Mill Pond_
When Mike O'Hara became the possessor of Billy Whiskers he felt
as proud as a peacock, for he knew he had made a good bargain and
got the best of Tim Rooney for once in his life, and this pleased
him mightily as Tim generally got the best of him in a trade.
When he reached his own yard, he called over the fence for Tim to
come and see what Billy and Nanny would do when they first saw
each other. Tim accepted the invitation with alacrity and jumped
over the fence just in time to see Nanny walk out of the shed, as
they thought to make the acquaintance of Billy for the first
time.
"Now is my chance," thought Billy, "to kiss her, and she can't
make a fuss before the boys." So up he walked and kissed her
straight on the mouth. Nanny was so surprised that she gave him a
startled look, turned her back and walked into the shed again.
"How is that for a cold snub!" said Tim. "Let us harness them
together and see what they will do."
"All right," said Mike, "if you will help me make a harness for
Billy. I have one for Nanny already."
The two set to work and in an hour had made a harness for Billy
out of old leather straps and strings, and then they commenced to
harness them to the little cart made out of a packing box set on
wheels.
The goats bleated and squirmed, wiggled and bucked, but nothing
dismayed the boys and they kept on until the two goats were
harnessed up tight and strong to the cart, and then the fun
began.
Mike jumped in and took up the reins and Tim followed after, and
out of the yard and down the road they went, sending a cloud of
dust after them.
From all sides went up the cry: "Look at Mike O'Hara, he has got
a new goat!" And from front-yard, back-yard and sand-pile flocked
the children to see the fun.
All went well for a quarter of a mile, when Tim, tired of running
on behind, jumped in with Mike. Billy felt the additional weight
in a minute and he bleated to Nanny that he would be switched if
he would pull Tim Rooney, the boy who sold him so cheaply.
"You will have to," said Nanny.
"No, I won't," said Billy. "You just watch and see what I will
do! But you must promise to do quickly what I tell you to, or I
can't do it, because I am hitched up with you; so, Nanny, you
will have to follow me and not pull back."
"All right," said Nanny, "I will do whatever you tell me to."
"Very well. Do you see that pond ahead?"
"Yes," answered Nanny.
"Now go slowly until we get within ten feet of it; then take a
long breath and run straight into the water as far as you can go.
Don't stop or turn to right or left no matter how hard they pull
or scream. Keep right on and we will give Mr. Tim a ducking he
won't forget. I'll teach him to stay out of any cart I am
pulling!"
They were now ten feet from the pond and Billy gave Nanny the
signal call, and with one accord both goats put down their heads
and commenced to pull and run for dear life. At first the boys
thought it great fun going so fast and neither suspected what
the goats were up to, until Billy gave a quick turn and into the
water they went before either boy could jump out.
The water was cold and deep and both boys took hold of the reins
to try to stop the goats or make them turn round but to no use;
on they went until only the heads of the boys were seen sticking
out of the water and both goats were swimming. When they got in
Billy enjoyed the wetting he was giving the boys so much, that he
did not stop when he had wet their feet, but told Nanny to keep
on until they were drenched to the skin.
While they were swimming, Billy said to Nan:
"I am tired of this, beside when we get to shore the boys will
pound us for ducking them in the pond, so as soon as we get to
shore I am going to run them into a big tree and upset them. This
harness is so rotten that it will break at the least strain that
is put on it, and when the cart goes over we will both give a big
pull which will break it loose from the cart, and then we must
run and hide in those thick bushes I see ahead, where the boys
can't find us."
"Oh, Billy, I am afraid," said Nanny. "They will surely find us
and whip us and shut us up without any supper."
"You're a coward, Nanny. Do what I tell you and I'll take care of
you. The boys will never find us if we once get loose and I'll
show you where there is the best supper you ever tasted."
And once again Nanny fell in with his plans and both goats began
to swim for shore pulling the cart with the two boys still in it,
scolding like magpies.
Once on shore, Billy turned to the left, instead of the right
which was the way home, and made for a tree that was just the
right size to catch the hub of the wheel and overturn the cart in
great shape.
[Illustration]
The boy commenced to switch the goats for the ducking they had
given them, and of course, thought the whipping the cause of
their rapid progress; but could they have read Billy's mind they
would have seen their mistake, for Billy knew the harder and
faster he hit the tree the more sure he was of smashing things
and getting free.
Smash, bang, roll and tumble! the cart has hit the tree and two
boys are rolling over each other in the dust, while two goats go
scampering off into the thick bushes that line the road.
Mike recovered himself first and started in hot pursuit of the
runaways while Tim sat still on a stone and rubbed his head and
nose which was bleeding profusely.
"Hurry, Nanny, hurry," Billy called as he disappeared from sight
down a deep ravine. Poor Nanny was so frightened at what she had
done, she could not hurry or begin to keep up with Billy, who made
great leaps from rock to rock; so she ran under a thorn-apple tree
and trusted to its low drooping branches to hide her.
But Mike was too close on her heels. He saw the moving of the
branches and knew one of the goats was hiding there. She made a
futile attempt to escape but the thorns ran into her so that she
gave up and meekly let herself be led back to the cart.
"I have one of them," Mike called out as soon as he came in sight
of Tim.
"Which one?" said Tim.
"Nanny," said Mike.
"I'll bet ye it wasn't that old one; he's a foxy old customer, he
is, and I'll bet me red shirt ye'll never set your eyes on him
again. Devil take me if I care if ye don't after the wetting and
bloody nose he's given me," said Tim.
"You hold Nanny, while I go look for Billy, Tim."
"All right and joy and good luck go with ye, but mark me words ye
never will find him when you're looking for him. Better come home
with me, and if he ever comes back he'll come back to-night to
see Nanny of his own accord," said Tim. "I know the ways of goats
better than ye do."
But Mike did not take Tim's advice. He went to look for Billy but
in about an hour and a half he wished he hadn't, for he saw no
signs of the runaway, and came back tired and foot-sore just in
time to see Tim and Nanny disappearing over the hill on the way
home.
[Illustration]
_Billy's Adventures in Town_
Billy hid behind some rocks in the bottom of a ravine until he
thought the boys had given up looking for him. Then he came out
of his hiding-place, and snipped off the fresh young leaves from
the bushes as he walked along making up his mind what he would do
next.
"It is too bad," he thought, "that Nanny is such a scare-cat and
slow runner for if she had only kept up with me she would be free
now and we could have a good time here. There are lots of young
shoots and juicy leaves for us to eat and plenty of water in the
creek to drink.
"Now I must go back and see what has become of her. I expect I
will be caught and pounded by the boys, but I told her I would
take care of her and as I never break my word, I must go and see
what I can do."
He climbed a high hill where he could get a good view of the road
and there he saw Tim leading Nanny into Mike's yard, and a mile
behind he saw Mike walking slowly along.
"Ho, ho!" said Billy, "they have caught Nan, so there is no use
in my trying to get her away now. I will just wait until dark and
then go back and butt the shed down and get her out and then we
can run away together before they can catch us."
Turning and looking in the opposite direction he saw lying in the
valley beneath him a city, and he immediately made up his mind to
visit it for it had been a long while since he had been in a
large town.
Down the hill he started on a run, loosening stones and pebbles
as he went, which rolled after him sending up a cloud of dust.
At the bottom he struck the main road that led to the town, and
keeping up his fast gait he was soon within its suburbs.
The first thing he came to was a flower and fruit stand, the
owner of which, a greasy, black-looking Italian, was talking to a
fat blue-coated policeman. Both stood with their backs turned to
the fruit stand.
[Illustration: THE ITALIAN WAS SO HORRIFIED AND DISMAYED TO SEE
WHAT HAD HAPPENED THAT HE FORGOT WHAT LITTLE ENGLISH HE KNEW.]
Now was Billy's chance. Luscious pears, peaches and grapes lay
before him ready to be eaten, and without a moment's hesitation
he began to sample each, while now and then he would eat a rose
or two between, thus making his own salad. And he found he liked
his fruit salad served on rose leaves just as well as on lettuce.
In reaching for an extra delicious-looking pear he had to stand
on his hind legs with his fore feet on the lower shelf. But alas,
for his greed! His weight on the board that formed the shelf was
too much, and it flew up in the air sending the fruit in all
directions and making such a racket that the fruit dealer heard
it and turned around just in time to see the wreck of his stand.
The Italian was so horrified and dismayed to see what had
happened that he forgot what little English he knew and chattered
and swore in Italian until you would have thought a dozen parrots
had been suddenly let loose.
The policeman tried to stop and catch Billy by spreading out his
legs and waving his arms, but Billy only lowered his head and ran
between the policeman's legs, upsetting him as he went through
for Billy was fat and the policeman short-legged and there was
not room to slide through without upsetting the man.
The policeman picked himself up and started in hot pursuit,
swearing under his breath that if he ever caught that goat he
would club its brains out.
[Illustration]
Of course the policeman could not catch up to the fleet-footed
Billy, so he called out--"Catch him!" But no one cared to attempt
it, especially when Billy lowered his head with the long horns on
it and ran at him.
But at last, after dodging in and out of the people on the
sidewalk and the carts and wagons in the street, one man was
brave enough to try to catch him. He was a big German butcher and
he stood plum in Billy's way, and when Billy lowered his head at
him, as he had at the others, the butcher caught hold of his
horns and gave his neck a quick twist. This made Billy furious
and he reared on his hind legs and struck at the butcher with his
fore ones, and then the fight began; first one was on top, then
the other, and they rolled over and over into the mud of the
street, while a big crowd gathered, which cheered and called out:
"I bet on the goat!"
"Give it to him, Dutchie!" and all such expressions, until at
last Billy got on his feet again, and with a parting hook he slit
the butcher's coat up the back and left him lying in the mud,
while he ran off as fast as his legs would carry him. And it is
needless to say that none of that crowd tried to stop him.
He had gone through many streets and turned many corners, when he
found himself opposite a beautiful, green, cool-looking park.
"This is the place for me," thought Billy, "it looks nice and
quiet and as I am tired I will go in and lie down under one of
the trees and eat a little grass."
After taking a nice rest and nap under the trees, he awoke, and
feeling thirsty thought he would go and quench his thirst at a
sparkling fountain he saw before him. He was quietly drinking and
every once in a while swallowing a goldfish that swam too near
his mouth, when someone from behind gave him a hard hit with a
rake.
"It is a pity a goat can't take a drink without being pounded,"
thought Billy. "But as I have had enough I guess I will move on
for I don't like the looks of this man's face, and I know he will
give me no peace."
So he walked away slowly, just as if he were going away of his
own accord, when the man gave him another hit with the rake. This
was too much for Billy's pie-crust temper; he turned on the man,
who was gardener of the park, and sent him sprawling over a
hay-cock before he knew what had struck him.
As Billy walked toward the high iron fence that encircled the
park he saw a policeman coming in at the gate. Now if there was
one thing Billy detested, it was a policeman, and he made for him
running at full speed with head down, and before the policeman
had even seen the goat he found himself hanging by the seat of
his trousers to the sharp iron pickets of the fence. Billy left
him there struggling, kicking, swearing and calling for help
while he made off as fast as his legs would carry him.
[Illustration]
_Billy Has a Ride in the Police Patrol Wagon_
After Billy left the policeman hanging on the fence, he walked
through street after street trying to find his way out of the
town, so he could go back to Nanny, but the more he looked for
the scattered houses of the suburbs, the more closely they seemed
to be built, and he found himself on a street where there were
nothing but stores and flats. It was beginning to get dark and he
was getting hungry and tired.
"I'll turn down the next alley I come to and see if I can't find
someone's back gate open where I can go in and rest," thought
Billy. He soon found the back yard to a flat and as he stood in
the open gate looking up, he could see by the gas light in the
different apartments, the cooks getting supper, and could smell
the sweet odor, to him, of boiled cabbage.
"Now is my chance," he thought, "to get supper and then come back
and sleep in this coal shed I see in the corner."
As there were long flights of stairs that connected one flat with
the other, he thought he would commence at the bottom flight and
go to the top, stopping at each flat as he went and picking up
anything he saw fit to eat. At the first landing, the cook had
just been out to the ice-chest to get something for supper and
had neglected to shut the door tightly, consequently it was an
easy matter for Billy to push it open with his nose, and then
help himself to the nice, crisp, fresh lettuce and radishes he
saw lying on the shelf. These he ate in a twinkling; next he
found a basket of eggs, these he did not care for, but he did
want the bunch of large carrots back of the basket, so he stuck
his head farther into the chest to reach the carrots and in doing
so, his horns ran through the handle of the basket and when he
brought his head out of the chest, the basket of eggs came too.
It slipped down until it hit his forehead and then it turned
over, spilling the eggs on the floor and making a terrible mess.
As the eggs broke, each one made a noise like a small paper
torpedo, and Billy knew the noise would bring the cook, so he
scooted up the stairs to the next landing, where he kept very
still in order to hear what the cook would say when she saw the
broken eggs for he heard her coming out.
"Goodness, gracious, me! The grocery boy has dropped a package of
eggs on his way up stairs. No he hasn't either, for my ice-box
door is open and someone has been stealing my things!" he heard
her say, and she hurried down stairs to look for the janitor to
tell him that sneak thieves had been at her ice chest.
When Billy heard her go down the stairs for the janitor, he went
to the upper flat, for fear the janitor would find him if he
stayed where he was. Arriving at the upper flat, he saw a line of
nicely-starched, fine linen things,--a baby's cap, two or three
handkerchiefs and a lace tidy. These he chewed up and swallowed
for he liked the taste of starch and they felt quite like chewing
gum in his mouth as he ate them. Then he saw a pan of apples
setting outside the door and he ate some of those. While eating
he heard the electric bell in the kitchen ring, which scared the
life out of him at first, but when he looked in the window and
found out what it was, he got over his fright. When the girl left
the kitchen to answer the bell, Billy thought he would go in and
take a drink from a pan of milk he saw setting on the table. He
had nearly finished the milk and his whiskers were all wet from
being in the pan, when he heard a scream and, looking up, he saw
the girl standing in the doorway, screaming: "Fire! police!
murder!"
"What a goose that girl is," thought Billy, "to make such a
racket, she will have the patrol here and four or five policemen
if she don't shut up. Guess I will run into her and butt her
through the hall and down the front stairs."
Suiting the action to the thought, he started for her but she
fled down the hall and ran into a room closing the door after
her. As she closed that door, the janitor opened the front door
which was directly opposite and Billy getting there just at that
time gave the janitor the butt instead of the girl and sent him
sprawling on the hall floor.
Before he could get up, Billy ran back through the hall to escape
down the back stairs and as he ran he could hear the girl
calling: "Fire! police! murder!" out of the window at the top of
her voice.
Billy hurried down the outside stairs as fast as he could, but
there were so many turns they made him dizzy and as he reached
the last flight, he heard the janitor above him call to someone
in the yard not to let that confounded goat escape through the
back gate.
[Illustration]
Billy laughed to himself, "I would like to see anyone stop me,"
when all unexpectedly, someone hit him on the head with a club as
he made the last turn in the stairs and there before him were
three policemen in a line stopping his way out. He butted and
kicked and balked, but to no use; they clubbed him until he was
almost senseless and then slipped a rope around his neck and
dragged him to the patrol wagon that was waiting outside the
gate, and with many boosts and pushes they at last succeeded in
getting him into the wagon.
As they drove down the street at break-neck speed, Billy vowed to
himself that if he ever got away from the police, that he would
go back and butt that girl into the middle of next week for
screaming, "Fire! police! murder!" until she had brought the
patrol wagon.
[Illustration]
_Billy Joins the Fire Patrol_
When they arrived at the police station Billy was made to jump
out and was led through the station into the back yard, and here
he was turned loose. He had been there about half an hour, when
he heard a terrible stamping of horses' feet and many bells
ringing in the building on the other side of the fence.
Wondering what the racket could be about, he climbed on top of a
pile of boxes that were next to the fence and looked into the
yard beyond. He found that the building was used as a fire-engine
station, and that the racket he had heard was caused by the
horses taking their places at the engine ready to start to a
fire.
Through two large doors that opened into the yard Billy could see
what was going on inside. And when he saw the men jump to their
places on the engine and the driver whip up his horses, he became
so excited he could stand it no longer and he determined to go
with them to the fire. With a spring he was over the fence and
following after the engine at a stiff run.
It was a good thing Billy had a strong pair of lungs or he would
never have been able to keep up with the fast speed of the
fire-engine horses, but he did and arrived at the fire in good
shape.
The fire was found to be in a three-story frame house, and when
they got there the flames were already coming out of the upper
windows; but the strangest thing about the fire was that the
inhabitants of the house, if there were any, seemed to be in
utter oblivion that their house was on fire for not a person was
in sight about the place and all the doors and windows were
securely locked.
Two men ran up the steps with axes, while two followed dragging
the hose after them. The men with the axes had given one knock to
the door when Billy saw what they were up to, and as he had often
used his head as a battering-ram, he ran up the steps, and before
the men knew he was there, he gave the door a mighty butt with
his head which made it crash in and the men and goat fell through
the opening.
This tickled the crowd who had gathered to see the fire, and they
called out: "Bravo for the goat!"