GRAMMAR'S BAZAAR.
I cannot undertake to describe all the expeditions to Education, nor the
various purchases made by the children; but I will here mention the
first visit made by the Desleys to Grammar's famous bazaar, a place much
frequented by all those who dwell in the town.
I need hardly tell my readers that Grammar's Bazaar lies in quite an
opposite direction from Mrs. Amusement's, and that the two concerns have
no connection whatever with each other. There are no sweetmeats sold in
the former; the goods are all called _words_, and are arranged in
perfect order on nine stalls, kept by nine sisters, well known by the
name of Parts of Speech. These sisters live and work together in the
greatest harmony and comfort, and are highly respected by all the
inhabitants of the town of Education. Some indeed call them "slow" and
"tiresome," and Miss Folly has been heard to declare that the very
mention of them gives her the fidgets; but neither you nor I, dear
reader, form our opinions by those of Miss Folly.
It was on a fine morning in summer that Dick, Lubin, Matty, and Nelly
paid their first visit to Grammar's Bazaar. They entered it by a low
porch, half choked up with parcels of words tied up in sentences ready
to be sent to various customers.
"A dull, dark place this is!" exclaimed Lubin; "I would not give
Amusement's Bazaar for fifty like this."
"Any chance of having one's pocket picked here?" said Dick, with a
malicious wink at his brother.
"Let's visit all the stalls one after another," cried Matty, "before we
make any purchase; I like to see all that's to be seen. What a comical
little body is standing behind the first counter; she is not as big as
Alphabet, I should say."
"She looks like his sister," observed Nelly; "but I suppose that she is
one of the Parts of Speech." And she read the name "Article" fastened up
at the back of the stall.
"What may you sell here, my little lady?" asked Dick, in his easy,
self-confident way; "I see only three hooks on your counter."
Miss Article Part of Speech had to stand upon a stool that her head
might peep over the top of her stall. "I'm but a little creature," said
she, with a good-humoured smile; "_a_, _an_, and _the_ are all the words
that I'm trusted to sell. If you want to see a larger assortment, pass
on to my sister Noun; she has many thousands of words to show you,
models of everything that can be seen, heard, or felt in the world."
Surely enough a most prodigious collection appeared on the counter of
Noun, a large portly maiden who presided over the stall next to that of
Article. There were _cups_ and _saucers_, _pins_ and _needles_, _caps_
and _bonnets_, models of _houses_, _churches_, _beasts_, _birds_, and
_fishes_, by far too numerous to describe.
"These are all _common_," observed Noun, seeing the eyes of Dick fixed
admiringly upon the collection; "I have behind me some more curious
things that have all names of their own," and she pointed to a row of
small figures. "These are not _common_ but, _proper_," she continued;
"you will notice here _Wellington_, _Napoleon_, _Nelson_, and our
gracious sovereign _Victoria_."
[Illustration: Dick, Lubin, Matty, and Nelly paying their first visit to
Grammar's Bazaar. _Page 103._]
"And oh, look here, at Miss Adjective's counter!" cried Matty; "she
keeps such a lot of dolls' things to dress up the figures of Noun. A
_pretty_, _nice_, _curious_ cape--"
"An _absurd_, _ridiculous_, _preposterous_ cap," added Dick.
"Observe," said Adjective with a courteous air, "that I arrange my words
in three rows, one above another, which I call _degrees of
comparison_--_positive_, _comparative_, _superlative_."
"I see, I see," exclaimed Dick; "here's a bonnet, _frightful_--that's
positive; another _more frightful_--that's comparative; and this with
the superlative yellow tuft, I should call the _most frightful_ of all.
So, Nelly's clever--that's positive--"
"I don't think so," murmured Nelly.
"Matty's cleverer--that's comparative."
Matty laughed.
"And I am superlatively clever--without doubt the _cleverest_ of all!"
"In your own opinion," growled Lubin.
Nelly wandered on to the next stall, which was kept by the maiden
Pronoun. Though smaller in size, she was so much like her sister Noun as
to be frequently taken for her. As it was a trouble to stout Noun to go
far or move fast, she very often sent Pronoun upon various errands in
her stead. Pronoun sold not many words; such as she had were mere
pictures of such as were kept by her sister. _I_, _thou_, _he_, _she_,
and _it_, and some others which we need not stop to enumerate.
"Here's a famous big stall!" exclaimed Dick, stopping in front of
Verb's, which was a very remarkable one, being covered with clock-work
figures all in motion. One could see by them what it is to _plough_, to
_sow_, to _reap_, to _work_, to _weep_, and to _dance_. The counter of
Verb was almost as extensive as that of her sister Noun.
"How do you make all these things move?" said Dick with some curiosity
to Verb.
"I _conjugate_ them; that is, wind them up," she replied, showing a
small brass key.
"Is it easy to conjugate them?" asked the boy.
"Easy enough with the _regular_ words," replied Verb, "but a good many
of mine are quite _irregular_ in their construction, and it is hard to
conjugate them."
"And if one conjugate them carelessly, I suppose," said Dick, "that
there would be a great crack or whiz, and the whole affair would go to
smash."
"Oh, don't stop there asking such questions!" cried Lubin; "I'm heartily
tired of this stupid bazaar--and if you go on so slowly, we shall never
get to the end!"
"I like to understand things," said Dick; "there's a great deal to
attract one's attention in this curious counter of Verb."
"Adverb, who keeps the next one," observed Nelly, "sells stands for her
sister Verb's figures, to display them _nicely_, _prettily_, _safely_!"
"_Badly_, _crookedly_, _awkwardly_!" cried Dick, who was in one of his
funny moods. "I don't like the look of Adverb, I think that she's given
to _lies_!"
"The three sisters who have the last stall," whispered Matty to Dick,
"seem all but poor little creatures!"
"I should call them small, smaller, and smallest, like the three degrees
of comparison," laughed Dick, "but I see their names at the backs of
their counters,--Preposition, Conjunction, Interjection."
"Pray, Miss Preposition, what are these?" asked Nelly, as she took up
some small labels from that lady's stall, with _from_, _by_, _of_, and
such names upon them.
"They are to show in what _case_ Noun's words are to be packed," replied
Preposition politely. "You may remark yonder boxes with _Nominative_,
_Possessive_, and such names painted upon them; it is my business to
label my sister's goods, that they may be packed according to rule."
"It must be stupid work to deal in nothing but tickets!" exclaimed Dick;
"if I were a Part of Speech, I'd be Noun rather than Preposition! And
what has Conjunction to sell?"
"Only little balls of string to tie bundles of words together, such as
_and_, _either_, _or_; and scissors to divide the bundles, such as
_neither_, _nor_, _notwithstanding_."
"Oh, come here, come here!" cried Matty eagerly; "there's nothing
amusing to look at on the counters of Conjunction or Preposition, but
Interjection has something very funny! Look at these gutta-percha balls
shaped like faces, some showing pleasure--some horror--some surprise;
just give them a little squeeze, and hear how you make them squeak!"
Lubin pressed one of the heads between his fat fingers, and _oh! ah!_
squeaked the red lips.
"I'll try one!" cried Dick, catching up another; "it's so like Matty's
friend, Miss Folly, that I'm sure that she sat for her likeness!" He
thumped it down on the counter, and out came a shrill "_lack-a-day!_"
"I think," laughed Nelly, "that Interjection sells the funniest words of
all!"
"And the ones that we could best do without," said Dick scornfully,
throwing down the _lack-a-day_ ball.
The children did not leave the Grammar Bazaar empty-handed. I must just
remark that Matty loaded herself most with words from the stall of
Adjective, choosing most of them from the Superlative row; and that
Lubin, notwithstanding the neat labels of Miss Preposition, never knew
how to put one of the words which he got from Noun or Pronoun into its
own proper case.