While the heiress of Mowbray Castle meditated how to escape thither from
the embarrassed and uneasy situation in which she now was; and while she
fancied that in retirement she might conceal, if she could not conquer,
her affection for Godolphin, (tho' in fact she only languished for an
opportunity of thinking of him perpetually without observation), Lady
Westhaven laid in wait for an occasion to try whether the ruined health
and altered looks of her brother, would not move, in his favour, her
tender and sensible friend.
While Delamere kept his chamber, Emmeline easily evaded an interview;
but when, after three or four days, he was well enough to leave it, it
was no longer possible for her to escape seeing him. However Godolphin
thought himself obliged to bury in silence his unfortunate passion, he
could not divest himself of that painful curiosity which urged him to
observe the behaviour of Emmeline on their first meeting. Bellozane had
discovered on what footing Lord Delamere had formerly been; and he
dreaded a renewal of that preference she had given her lover, to which
his proud heart could ill bear to submit, tho' he could himself make no
progress in her favour. Tho' Lady Westhaven had entreated her to see
Delamere alone, she had refused; assigning as a reason that as he could
never again be to her any other than a friend, nothing could possibly
pass which her other friends might not hear. Delamere was obliged
therefore to brook the hard conditions of seeing her as an indifferent
person, or not seeing her at all. But tho' she was immoveably determined
against receiving him again as a lover, she had not been able to steel
her heart against his melancholy appearance; his palid countenance, his
emaciated form, extremely affected her. And when he approached her,
bowed with a dejected air, and offered to take her hand--her
haughtiness, her resentment forsook her--she trembling gave it,
expressed in incoherent words her satisfaction at seeing him better, and
betrayed so much emotion, that Godolphin, who with a beating heart
narrowly observed her, saw, as he believed, undoubted proof of her love;
and symptoms of her approaching forgiveness.
Delamere, who, whenever he was near her, ceased to remember that any
other being existed; would, notwithstanding the presence of so many
witnesses, have implored her pardon and her pity; but the moment he
began to speak on that subject, she told him, with as much resolution as
she could command, that the subject was to her so very disagreeable, as
would oblige her to withdraw if he persisted in introducing it.
While his looks expressed how greatly he was hurt by her coldness, those
of Godolphin testified equal dejection. For however she might repress
the hopes of his rival by words of refusal and resentment, he thought
her countenance gave more unequivocal intelligence of the real state of
her heart. Bellozane, as proud, as little used to controul and
disappointment, and with more personal vanity than Lord Delamere, beheld
with anger and mortification the pity and regard which Emmeline shewed
for her cousin; and ceasing to be jealous of Godolphin, he saw every
thing to apprehend from the rank, the fortune, the figure of
Delamere--from family connection, which would engage her to listen to
him--from ambition, which his title would gratify--from her tenderness
to Lady Westhaven, and from the return of that affection which she had,
as he supposed, once felt for Lord Delamere himself.
But the more invincible the obstacles which he saw rising, appeared, the
more satisfaction he thought there would be in conquering them. And to
yield up his pretensions, on the first appearance of a formidable rival,
was contrary to his enterprising spirit and his ideas of that glory,
which he equally coveted in the service of the fair and of the French
King.
With these sentiments of each other, the restraint and mistrust of every
party impeded general or chearful conversation. Godolphin soon left the
room, to commune with his own uneasy thoughts in a solitary walk; Lord
Westhaven would then have taken out Bellozane, in order to give Lord
Delamere an opportunity of being alone with his sister and Emmeline. But
he was determined not to understand hints on that subject; and when his
Lordship asked him to take an afternoon's walk, found means to refuse
it. Afraid of leaving two such combustible spirits together, Lord
Westhaven, to the great relief of Emmeline, staid with them till
Delamere retired for the night.
But the behaviour of Bellozane to Emmeline, which was very particular,
as if he wished it to be noticed, had extremely alarmed Delamere; and
whenever they afterwards met, they surveyed each other with such haughty
reserve, and their conversation bordered so nearly on hostility and
defiance, that Emmeline, who expected every hour to see their animosity
blaze out in a challenge, could support her uneasiness about it no
longer; and sending early to speak to Lord Westhaven on the beginning of
the second week of their stay, she represented to him her fears, and
entreated him to prevail on the Chevalier to leave them and return to
St. Alpin.
'I have attempted it already,' said he; 'but with so little success,
that if I press it any farther I must quarrel with him myself. I know
perfectly well that your fears have too much foundation; and that if we
can neither separate or tranquillise these unquiet spirits, we shall
have some disagreeable affair happen between them. I know nothing that
can be done but your accepting at once your penitent cousin.'
'No, my Lord,' answered she, with an air of chagrin, 'that I will not
do! I most ardently wish Lord Delamere well, and would do any thing to
make him happy--except sacrificing my own happiness, and acting in
opposition to my conscience.'
'Why, my dear Emmeline, how is this? You had once, surely, an affection
for Delamere; and his offence against you, however great, admits of
considerable alleviation. Consider all the pains that were taken to
disunite you, and the importunity he suffered from his family. Surely,
when you are convinced of his repentance you should restore him to your
favour; and however you may be superior to considerations of fortune and
rank, yet when they unite in a man otherwise unexceptionable they should
have some weight.'
'They have none with me, upon my honour, my Lord. And since we have got
upon this topic, I will be very explicit--I am determined on no account
to marry Lord Delamere. But that I may give no room to charge me with
caprice or coquetry (since your Lordship believes I once had so great a
regard for him), or with that unforgiving temper which I see you are
disposed to accuse me of, it is my fixed intention, if I obtain, by your
Lordship's generous interposition, the Mowbray estate, to retire to
Mowbray Castle, and never to marry at all.'
Lord Westhaven, at the solemnity and gravity with which she pronounced
these words, began to laugh so immoderately, and to treat her resolution
with ridicule so pointed, that he first made her almost angry, and then
obliged her to laugh too. At length, however, she prevailed on him again
to listen to her apprehensions about Delamere and Bellozane.
'Do not, my Lord, rally me so cruelly; but for Heaven's sake, before it
is too late, prevent any more meetings between these two rash and
turbulent young men. Why should the Chevalier de Bellozane stay here?'
'Because it is his pleasure. I do assure you seriously, my dear Miss
Mowbray, that I have almost every day since we came hither attempted to
send my fiery cousin back to St. Alpin. But my anxiety has only piqued
him; and he determines more resolutely to stay because he sees my motive
for wishing him gone. He is exactly the character which I have somewhere
seen described by a French poet.--A young man who,
----_'leger, impetueux,
De soi meme rempli, jaloux, presomptueux,
Bouillant dans ses passions; cedant a ses caprices;
Pour un peu de valeur, se passoit de tous ses vices._'[37]
'Yet, among all his faults, poor Bellozane has some good qualities; and
I am really sorry for this strange perseverance in an hopeless pursuit,
because it prevents my asking him to England. I give you my honour,
Emmeline,' continued his Lordship, in a more serious tone, 'that I have
repeatedly represented to him the improbability of his success; but he
answers that you have never positively dismissed him by avowing your
preference to another; that he knows your engagement with Lord Delamere
is dissolved, and that he considers himself at liberty to pursue you
till you have decidedly chosen, or even till you are actually married.
Nay, I doubt whether your being married would make any difference in the
attentions of this eccentric and presuming Frenchman, for I do not
consider Bellozane as a Swiss.'
'Well, but my dear Lord, if the Chevalier will persist in staying, I
must determine to go. I see not that my remaining here will be attended
with any good effects. It may possibly be the cause of infinite
uneasiness to Lady Westhaven. Do, therefore, prevail upon her to let me
go alone to St. Germains. When I am gone, Lord Delamere will think more
of getting well than of forcing me into a new engagement. He will then
soon be able to travel; and the Chevalier de Bellozane will return
quietly to the Baron.'
'Why to speak ingenuously, Emmeline, it _does_ appear to me that it were
on every account more proper for you to be in England. Thither I wish
you could hasten, before it will be possible for Lord Delamere, or
indeed for my wife, who must travel slowly, to get thither. I do not
know whether your travelling with us will be strictly proper, on other
accounts; but if it were, it would be rendered uneasy to you by the
company of these two mad headed boys; for Bellozane I am sure intends,
if you accompany us, to go also.'
'What objection is there then to my setting out immediately for St.
Germains, with Le Limosin and Madelon, if Lady Westhaven would but
consent to it?'
'I can easily convince her of the necessity of it; but I foresee another
objection that has escaped you.'
'What is that, my Lord?'
'That Bellozane will follow you.'
'Surely he will not attempt it?'
'Indeed I apprehend he will. I have no manner of influence over him; and
he is here connected with a set of military men, who are the likeliest
people in the world to encourage such an enterprize--and if at last this
Paris should carry off our fair Helen!'--
'Nay, but my Lord do not ridicule my distress.'
'Well then, I will most seriously and gravely counsel you: and my advice
is, that you set out as soon as you can get ready, and that my brother
Godolphin escort you.'
Emmeline was conscious that she too much wished such an escort; yet
fearing that her preference of him would engage Godolphin in a quarrel
with Bellozane or Lord Delamere, perhaps with both, she answered, while
the deepest blush dyed her cheeks--
'No, my Lord, I cannot--I mean not--I should be sorry to give Captain
Godolphin the trouble of such a journey--and I beg you not to think of
it--.'
'I shall speak to him of it, however.'
'I beg, my Lord--I intreat that you will not.'
'Here he is--and we will discuss the matter with him now.'
Godolphin at this moment entered the room; and Lord Westhaven relating
plainly all Emmeline's fears, and her wishes to put an end to them by
quitting Besançon, added the proposal he had made, that Godolphin should
take care of her till she joined Mrs. Stafford.
Tho' Godolphin saw in her apprehensions for the safety of Delamere, only
a conviction of her tender regard for him, and considered his own
attachment as every way desperate; yet he could not refuse himself, when
it was thus offered him, the pleasure of being with her--the exquisite
tho' painful delight of being useful to her. He therefore eagerly
expressed the readiness, the happiness, with which he should undertake
so precious a charge.
Emmeline, fearful of betraying her real sentiments, overacted the civil
coldness with which she thought it necessary to refuse this offer.
Godolphin, mortified and vexed at her manner as much as at her denial,
ceased to press his services; and Lord Westhaven, who wondered what
could be her objection, since of the honour and propriety of Godolphin's
conduct he knew she could not doubt, seemed hurt at her rejection of his
brother's friendly intention of waiting on her; and dropping the
conversation, went away with Godolphin.
She saw that her conduct inevitably impressed on the mind of the latter
a conviction of her returning regard for Delamere; and she feared that
to Lord Westhaven it might appear to be the effect of vanity and
coquetry.
'Perhaps he will think me,' said she, 'so vain as to suppose that
Godolphin has also designs, and that therefore I decline his attendance;
and coquet enough to wish for the pursuit of these men, whom I only
affect to shun, and for that reason prefer going alone, to accepting the
protection of his brother. Yet as _I_ know the sentiments of Godolphin,
which it appears Lord Westhaven does not, surely I had better suffer his
ill opinion of me, than encourage Godolphin's hopes; which, till
Delamere can be diverted from prosecuting his unwelcome addresses, will
inevitably involve him in a dispute, and such a dispute as I cannot bear
to think of.'
Uncertain what to do, another day passed; and on the following morning,
while she waited for Lady Westhaven, she was addressed by Godolphin, who
calmly and gravely enquired if she would honour him with any commands
for England?
'Are you going then, Sir, before my Lord and Lady?'
'I am going, Madam, immediately.'
'By way of Paris?'
'Yes, Madam, to Havre; whence I shall get the quickest to Southampton,
and to the Isle of Wight. I am uneasy at the entire solitude to which my
absence condemns Adelina.'
'You have heard no unfavourable news, I hope, of Lady Adelina or your
little boy?'
'None. But I am impatient to return to them.'
'As you are going immediately, Sir,' said Emmeline (making an effort to
conquer a pain she felt rising in her bosom) 'I will not detain you by
writing to Lady Adelina. Perhaps--as it is possible--as I hope'--
She stopped. Godolphin looked anxious to hear what was possible, what
she hoped.
'As I shall so soon, so very soon be in England, perhaps we may meet,'
reassumed she, speaking very quick--'possibly I may have the happiness
of seeing her Ladyship and dear little William.'
'To meet _you_,' replied Godolphin, very solemnly, 'Adelina shall leave
her solitude; for certainly a journey to see her in it will hardly be
undertaken by _Lady Delamere_.'
He then in the same tone wished her health and happiness till he saw her
again, and left her.
He was no sooner gone, than she felt disposed to follow him and
apologize for her having so coldly refused his offers of protection.
Pride and timidity prevented her; but they could not stop her tears,
which she was obliged to conceal by hurrying to her own room. Lady
Westhaven soon after sent for her to a late breakfast: she found Lord
Delamere there; but heard that Godolphin was gone.
Soon after breakfast, Lady Westhaven and her brother, (who could not yet
obtain a clear intermission of the fever which hung about him, and who
continued extremely weak,) went out together for an airing; and Lord
Westhaven, unusually grave, was left reading in the room with Emmeline.
He laid down his book. 'So,' said he, 'William is flown away from us.'
It was a topic on which Emmeline did not care to trust her voice.
'I wish you could have determined to have gone with him.'
'I wish, my Lord, I could have reconciled it to my ideas of propriety;
since certainly I should have been happy and safe in such an escort; and
since, without any at all, I must, in a day or two, go.'
'I believe it will be best. Lord Delamere is no better; and Bellozane
has no thought of leaving us entirely, tho' his military friends take up
so much of his time that he is luckily less with Delamere. Lord Delamere
has again, Miss Mowbray, been imploring me to apply to you. He wishes
you only to hear him. He complains that you fly from him, and will not
give him an opportunity of entering on his justification.'
'I am extremely concerned at Lord Delamere's unhappiness. But I must
repeat that I require of his Lordship no justification; that I most
sincerely forgive him if he supposes he has injured me; but that as to
any proposals such as he once honoured me with, I am absolutely resolved
never to listen to them; and I entreat him to believe that any future
application on the subject must be entirely fruitless.'
'Poor young man!' said Lord Westhaven. 'However you must consent to see
him alone, and to tell him so yourself; for from me he will not believe
you so very inflexible--so very cruel.'
'I am inflexible, my Lord, but surely not cruel. The greatest cruelty of
which I could be guilty, either to Lord Delamere or myself, would be to
accept his offers, feeling as I feel, and thinking as I think.'
'I do not know how we shall get him to England, or what will be done
with him when he is there.'
'He will do well, my Lord. Doubt it not.'
'Upon my honour I _do_ doubt it! It is to me astonishing that a young
man so volatile, so high-spirited as Delamere, should be capable of an
attachment at once so violent and so steady.'
'Steady!--Has your Lordship forgotten Miss Otley?'
'His wavering then was, you well know, owing to some evil impressions he
had received of you; which, tho' he refuses to tell me the particulars,
he assures me were conveyed and confirmed with so much art, that a more
dispassionate and cooler lover would have believed them without enquiry.
How then can you wonder at _his_ petulant and eager spirit seizing on
probable circumstances, which his jealousy and apprehension immediately
converted into conviction? As soon as he knew these suspicions were
groundless, did he not fly to implore your pardon; and hasten, even at
the hazard of his life, to find and appease you? Such is the present
situation of his mind and of his health, that I very seriously assure
you I doubt whether he will survive your total rejection.'
Emmeline, unable to answer this speech gravely, without betraying the
very great concern it gave her, assumed a levity she did not feel.
'Your Lordship,' said she, 'is disposed to think thus, from the warm and
vehement manner in which Lord Delamere is accustomed to express himself.
If he is really unhappy, I am very sorry; but I am persuaded time, and
the more fortunate alliance which he is solicited to form, will effect a
cure. Don't think me unfeeling if I answer your melancholy prophecy in
the words of Rosalind--
'Men have died from time to time, and worms have eat them--but not
for love.'
She then ran away, and losing all her forced spirits the moment she was
alone, gave way to tears. She fancied they flowed entirely for the
unhappiness of poor Delamere, and for her uncertain situation. But tho'
the former uneasiness deeply affected her sensible heart, many of the
tears she shed were because Godolphin was gone, and she knew not when
she should again see him.
Godolphin, repining and wretched, pursued his way to Paris. He thought
that Emmeline's coldness and reserve were meant to put an end to any
hopes he might have entertained; and that her reconciliation and
marriage with Lord Delamere must inevitably take place as soon as she
had, by her dissimulated cruelty, punished him for his rashness and his
errors. His daily observation confirmed him in this opinion: he saw,
that in place of her candid and ingenuous manners, a studied conduct was
adopted, which concealed her real sentiments--sentiments which he
concluded to be all in favour of Delamere. And finding that he could not
divest himself of his passion for her, he thought that it was a
weakness, if not a crime, to indulge it in her presence, while it
imposed on himself an insupportable torment; and that, by quitting her,
he should at least conceal his hopeless attachment, and save himself the
misery of seeing her actually married to Lord Delamere. He determined,
therefore, to tear himself away; and to punish himself for the premature
expectations with which he had begun his journey to St. Alpin, by
shutting himself up at East Cliff (his house in the Isle of Wight) and
refusing himself the sight of her, of whom it would be sufficient misery
to think, when she had given herself to her favoured and fortunate
lover.
Full of these reflections, Godolphin continued his road, intending to
take the passage boat at Havre. But at the hotel he frequented at Paris,
he met a gentleman of his acquaintance who was going the next day to
England by way of Calais; and as he had his own post chaise, and only
his valet with him, he told Godolphin that if he would take a place in
his chaise he would send his servant post. This offer Godolphin
accepted; and altering his original design, went with his friend to
Calais to cross to England.
[Footnote 37:
----Volatile--impetuous--
Full of himself--jealous--presumptuous--
Fiery in his passions; yielding to every caprice;
And who believes some courage an apology for all his vices.]