Daniel Defoe, at the invitation of the judge, came forth from the
garret wherein he abode, and rode in a cart unto the Royal Exchange,
wherein he ascended the pillory, to the end that his ears might be
nailed thereunto. And much people stood before him, some few pelting,
some mocking, but the most part cheering or weeping, for they knew him
for a friend to the poor, and especially those men who were called
Dissenters. And a certain person in black stood by him, invisible to
the people, but well seen of Daniel, who knew him for one whose life he
had himself written. And the man in black reasoned with Daniel, and
said, “Thou seest this multitude of people, but which of them shall
deliver thee out of my hand? Nay, but let thy white be black, and thy
black white, and I myself will deliver thee, and make thee rich, and
heal thy hurts, save the holes in thy ears, that I may know thee for
mine own.” But Daniel gave no heed to him. So the Devil departed,
having great wrath, and entered into a certain smug-faced man standing
by.
And now the crowd before Daniel was greatly diminished, and consisted
mainly of his enemies, for his friends had gone away to drown their
sorrow. And the smug-faced man into whom Satan had entered came forth
from among them, and said unto him, “O Daniel, inasmuch as I am a
Dissenter I am greatly beholden to thee; but inasmuch as I am an honest
tradesman I have somewhat against thee, for thou hast written
concerning short weights and measures. And a man’s shop is more to him
than his country or his religion. Wherefore I must needs be avenged of
thee. Yet shalt thou own that the tender mercies of the good man are
piteous, and that even in his wrath he thinketh upon compassion.”
And he picked up a great stone from the ground, and wrapped it in a
piece of paper, saying, “Lest peradventure it hurt him overmuch.” And
the stone was very rough and sharp, and the paper was very thin. And he
hurled it with all his might at the middle of Daniel’s forehead, and
the blood spouted forth. And Daniel cried aloud, and called upon the
name of the Devil. And in an instant the pillory and the people were
gone, and he found himself in the Prime Minister’s cabinet, healed of
all his hurts, except the holes in his ears. And the Minister was so
like the Devil that you could not tell the difference. And he said,
“Against what wilt thou write first, Daniel?”
“Dissenters,” said Daniel.
And he wrote a pamphlet, and such as read it took firebrands, and
visited the Dissenters in their habitations. And many Dissenters were
put into prison, and others fined and spoiled of their goods. And he
wrote other pamphlets, and each was cleverer and wickeder than the
last. And whatsoever Daniel had of old declared to be white, lo! it was
black; and what he had said was black, behold! it was white. And he
throve and prospered exceedingly, and became a commissioner for
public-houses and hackney-coaches and the imposing of oaths and the
levying of custom, and all other such things as one does by deputy. And
he mended the holes in his ears.
But the time came when Daniel must be judged, and he went before the
Lord. And all the court was full of Dissenters, and the Devil was there
also. And the Dissenters testified many and grievous things against
Daniel.
“Daniel,” said the Lord, “what answerest thou?”
“Nothing, Lord,” said Daniel. “Only I would that the Dissenter who
threw that stone at me should receive due and condign punishment,
adequate to his misdeed.”
“That,” said the Devil, “is impossible.”
“Thou sayest well, Satan,” said the Lord, “and therefore shall Daniel
go free. For if anything can excuse the apostasy of the noble, it is
the ingratitude of the base.”
So the Devil went to his own place, looking very small. And Daniel
found himself in the same garret whence he had gone forth to the
pillory; and before him were bread and cheese, and a pen and ink and
paper. And he dipped the pen into the ink, and wrote _Robinson Crusoe_.