How much may depend on a single syllable! What direful consequences may
be produced by the suppression of even the smallest component part of a
word!--Gentle reader, be as patient as you are gentle, and the perusal
of the following _true_ story will convince you of the correctness of
these exclamatory positions.
Late in the autumn of 1826, I left the city of New York in a steamboat
for Philadelphia, on my way to Washington, where I was to perform the
arduous, if not very dignified duty, of reporter of debates in the
Senate of the United States, for the leading journal of that
metropolis. My wife accompanied me, and on stepping on board the Swan,
(so was our steamboat justly called,) we found ourselves elbowed and
jostled by a throng of travellers from various parts of the Union,
wending their way, in most instances, to the capitol.
When the steamer had left the wharf, and the haste and bustle of the
moment had ceased, I had time to inspect the countenances of the crowd,
and recognized with much pleasure, the single familiar face of an
officer of the treasury department, with whom I had formed a partial
intimacy during a former visit at Washington. We met with much
cordiality, and soon became engaged in recalling our recollections of
past events.
My friend, it appeared, was personally and officially known to several
individuals of our company; and without the formality of introduction,
I soon found myself on easy travelling terms with four or five genteel
looking men. Among these, the only persons necessary to mention, were a
member of the House of Representatives from Massachusetts, whom I
choose to designate as Mr. C.; another from a neighboring state, who
will be sufficiently known to the reader as Mr. D.; and a young naval
officer, whose name, if he had one, I have forgotten.
A free and easy, gossiping conversation was kept up with considerable
vivacity by this group of strangers, the topics of which were various.
Politics and theatricals predominated--New York was then, as she is
now, the focus of both. The election of De Witt Clinton for the last
time, as governor of the state, over a young and popular candidate,
supported by the fragments of several exploded parties--the rising
importance of the anti-masonic party--the Italian Opera, and Signorina
Garcia, then in great vogue--the last appearance of Edmund Kean, after
his fatal frolic in Canada, and the first appearance of Macready, who
had just then made his debut on the American stage, to surprise and
puzzle the people by a style as new as it was polished and severe. Such
subjects beguiled the hours--and as I had long been almost as
conversant with the green room as the editor's closet, I was enabled to
contribute my full share to the gossip of our little coterie.
My Massachusetts acquaintance was a stout, well built, middle-aged man,
with a bold and open countenance, which expressed good humor, and not a
little self complacency. It seemed as if one could read on that face
the conviction of its owner, that he was born to be a member of
congress, a great man, and a clever fellow. A travelling cap, worn
carelessly, or rather with a careful affectation of negligence, on one
side of his head, and a slight rattan, which he twirled with a
practised hand, evinced a determination on his part to appear to the
very best advantage. Without these, and other affectations, which I
observed in Mr. C., no one could have mistaken him for other than a
well bred gentleman. His attempts to enforce the acknowledgment of the
character by aping the airs of fashionable folly, might cause a
momentary doubt, whether the whole was not affected. We often perceive
similar mistakes in ambitious men brought up in seclusion--but in the
present instance, a stranger was soon undeceived by the conversation of
Mr. C., which gave assurance of a cultivated mind, and the habit of
associating with the learned and the intellectual.
The characteristics of the other lawgiver to whom I have alluded, were
less complicated. His was a face as black as night. His beard,
whiskers, hair and eyes were coal black--the latter small and piercing.
No other feature was worth noticing, and the whole taken together,
formed, if not an _ugly_ countenance, one which came very nearly up to
that epithet. His dress was a pepper-and-salt frock, vest and trowsers,
and his hat had evidently passed its prime. In manners he was the
opposite of Mr. C. There was a bluntness in his remarks, and a
sharpness and brevity in his replies, entirely unaffected, but not
altogether pleasing. On a partial acquaintance, you had such doubts of
him as you would entertain of a partly tamed _bruin_.
The young naval officer was like all _young_ naval officers, with a
dash of spirit which he seemed solicitous to display--a stiffness of
deportment which evinced that the thoughts of discipline could not
easily be shaken off, and an apparent consciousness of the admiration
to which his profession and his _dress_ entitled him from people of
every degree. Nevertheless, he was agreeable, and condescended, most
benevolently, to mingle in the conversation with those around him.
Passing the time between these companions, and an occasional peep into
the ladies' cabin to see that nothing was wanting to the comfort of my
wife, (who was deterred by the chilliness of the atmosphere, from
joining me on deck) the journey was uncommonly agreeable, until we
reached Philadelphia. At that city my treasury friend left us, not so
much regretted as he deserved to be, because his place was supplied by
the new companions to whom I have alluded.
We were shortly transferred to another steamboat, in which, after about
two hours' delay, we proceeded to New Castle. A change of considerable
extent had taken place in our company. We had lost many faces to which
we had been familiar during the morning--and we had gained many others
which wore the first gloss of newness. I have already said that I had
not been formally introduced to the gentlemen whose acquaintance had
been pressed upon me--yet we had learned each other's names, and used
them with freedom. Probably I was the only _incognito_ among them--the
only man whose profession was unknown, and therefore the only one
liable to doubt or misconception. But of such a chance I did not then
dream.
Among the new passengers were two ladies, one quite young, although the
mother of two or three children. She was pretty, and, as I afterwards
found, very talkative. The other was a matron more advanced in years,
and with a still larger number of children. Her dress was half
mourning, her manner grave and lady-like. With these ladies I perceived
that my wife had entered into conversation on their first arrival on
board, and my occasional visits to the cabin shewed me that their
gossip, was kept up with much spirit. Returning from one of these
calls, a strange gentleman addressed me, and asked if my name was
S----; I replied in the affirmative, and after a very civil preface, he
requested, (as I was the only gentleman with a lady on board,) that I
would give my protection to a female acquaintance of his and her
family, who were on their way to Washington. He observed that he should
go no farther than Baltimore, and from that place he would be obliged
to me to take charge of them. I readily assented: we went to the
ladies' cabin, where I was introduced with all due form, to Mrs. M.,
the elder and graver of the two ladies already mentioned. She had made
herself acquainted with my wife, and all parties seemed pleased with
the arrangement.
On going above, I found my friends, the two members of congress and the
naval officer, laying plans for a game of whist on board the Trenton
steamboat, which was to take us from Frenchtown. I was asked to make
one of the party, and assented. A few hours brought us to New Castle,
where stages were in readiness to transport us across the isthmus, to
Frenchtown--for it must be remembered, that there was then neither
canal or rail road between the two points.
As the oldest passengers, I presume, my wife and I were seated in stage
No. 1, with a motley group of persons. Not one of our newly formed
acquaintances were with us, and in our carriage there was not an
individual with whom five minutes conversation could be sustained. I
made repeated efforts to arouse our fellow passengers, but after
receiving each time a monosyllabic rebuff,--a crusty yes or no, as the
case might be,--I relinquished the attempt, and confined my endeavors
to make myself agreeable to my good woman, who gave me an amusing
detail of a conversation while on board the steamboat, between herself
and the younger of the two ladies to whom I have already referred. Mrs.
R., as my wife informed me, had favored her with a detailed history of
her family, her husband, children and herself, with all things
thereunto appertaining, even down to the fashion of her last new
bonnet. Having thus exhausted herself by this unsolicited confession,
or as the Scotch say, having "made a clean breast," she remained
silent, apparently expecting a similar display of frankness from her
auditress. But my wife did not readily recognize the principle of
reciprocity in such cases--and accordingly gave the conversation a
different turn. This, however, failed to meet the views of the
communicative lady. Nothing short of mutual confidence seemed to tally
with her notions of politeness to strangers. And finding that my wife
still hung back, she proceeded to cross-examine her upon her domestic
affairs, family connexions, and most closely on my objects and pursuits
in life, and purpose in visiting the capitol at this season. To all
these questions my wife answered briefly, but truly, although with
reluctance.
I was much diverted at this novel specimen of female curiosity, and the
tactics observed in its gratification. It appeared to me uncommonly
_equitable_--for what could evince greater fairness than to prelude an
investigation of the private affairs of your neighbor, by a voluntary
detail of your own.
About eight in the evening, we reached Frenchtown, where our supper was
waiting on board the Trenton. Having despatched the meal with a good
appetite, and the ladies having withdrawn for the evening, the
engagement for a game of whist occurred to me. I had not, up to that
time, observed any one of our party, and I set out to collect them
together for our match.
I first encountered Mr. C. pacing up and down the cabin with great
gravity. Walking up to him, I reminded him of the game of whist,
proposing that we should collect our party. To my great surprise, the
manner of the man towards me was entirely changed. He gave me a glance
which looked exceedingly like contempt--replied to my question with a
rude and hasty negative, and turned upon his heel.
I was astonished, as well I might be, at receiving a cut direct from a
man, who but a few hours before had lavished upon me so large a share
of familiarity and attention. I was chagrined at his contemptuous
manner, and I was puzzled to divine its cause. Indeed, my perplexity
was far greater than my chagrin.
While I was pondering the matter, I caught a glimpse of my other
congressional friend Mr. D., at some distance from me. I went to meet
him, and put to him the same question I had addressed to Mr. C. As I
spoke, he wheeled partly round, fixed his small black eye upon me for a
moment, with a scrutinizing glance, and without vouchsafing one word in
reply, wheeled back into his former position, and walked from me with a
stateliness and decision of step, which precluded any farther
conference. There could be no mistake in this. It was the _ne plus
ultra_ of _cutting_. It was more than the cut direct--it was the _cut_
irrevocable, immutable, eternal!
Good heavens, said I internally--what can this mean?
Is it the moon ----
That comes more near to us than she was wont,
And makes men mad?
If, thought I, the young "Middie" plays me the same game, it will be
evident that they act in concert. It is worth testing--and _apropos_ to
the thought, he just then passed quite near me. I assumed as much ease
as the circumstances of the case would permit, (for it will not be
thought remarkable that I had been considerably disconcerted)--and
reminded him of our contemplated game of whist. He looked at me with
cool indifference, as though he had never seen me before in his life,
observed that a party could not be made up, and, waiting no further
question, passed me, whistling some naval air, and looking in another
direction.
This last rebuff completed my indignation and perplexity. But it was an
evil which must be borne,--for however annoying I might find such
treatment--the caprice of strangers in being at one moment as familiar
as old friends, and withdrawing their familiarity at the next, was not
good argument for a quarrel. I could have no claim for satisfaction or
explanation, on an individual to whom I had not been formally
introduced, and with whom my intimacy was of less than twelve hours
standing, for choosing
-------- "to face me out of his acquaintance,
And grow a twenty years removed thing
While one could wink."
I had schooled myself to patience under these undeserved inflictions,
and was preparing to retire, when I was called to the door of the
ladies' cabin by the waiting maid--and met there my wife, who seemed in
a state of tribulation not inferior to my own. She said that since our
arrival on board the steamboat, the two ladies who had been previously
so kind and social, had scarcely noticed her, and had repelled every
attempt at a renewal of former civilities; in truth, that she had been
treated by her companions in much the same manner as I had been by
mine. This was an additional mystery. How could it happen that
contumely and disrespect were cast upon us from parties who were
strangers, having no connexion with each other? The mystery seemed
unfathomable, and after wearying myself with vain endeavors to conceive
some adequate cause for the altered conduct of our fellow travellers, I
fell asleep, and dreamed of myriads of self-important members of
congress, and self-admiring naval officers.
We found ourselves at the wharf at Baltimore in the morning, and in the
scramble to disengage our baggage from the mass heaped upon deck, (to
which every traveller is premonished by the oft-repeated advertisement
that "baggage is at the risk of the owner")--I met my whilom friends,
but without the slightest token of recognition on either side. The
talkative lady looked grave when I approached her, and was silent, ("an
excellent thing in woman")--the older matron, to whom I was to act as
protector for the remainder of her journey, shrunk from me as I
advanced with the salutation of the morning; and when all was prepared
for our departure from the steamboat, she declined my proffered arm, as
I conducted her to the carriage. To my wife she was equally
distant,--nor did a sumptuous breakfast at Barnum's, break the ice of
her reserve, or rather, her aversion. Certainly, thus far, our society
did not promise to be agreeable on either side. The lady kept as far
aloof from us as circumstances would allow, avoiding every opportunity
of conversation--and we were soon as silent as she, from a mingled
feeling of pride and resentment. We embarked in a stage about
mid-day--the roads was infamous, the weather chilly and obscure. We had
the carriage to ourselves, and the ride was therefore the more gloomy,
as among a promiscuous party we might have found some one willing to
cheer the way by conversation: but as we were situated with our
taciturn companion, excepting in an occasional colloquy with the
driver, our organs of speech were unemployed, and during the greater
part of our journey, we might have been taken for a party of mutes. As
we drew near to Washington, this reserve wore away in a measure.
Whether the lady's tongue became impatient of so long a period of
inaction, or whether her assumed dignity gave way under a requisition
upon it too great for its power--I know not. Certain it is, that she
occasionally deigned a remark, and sometimes condescended to put
interrogatories to me, relative to the distance to the city, and
similar grave matters.
It was dark when we arrived. I had ordered the coachman to set me down
at Brown's--but I was informed that there was not a vacant room in the
house, and also that every other hotel in the city was full. This
overflow of company as I afterwards ascertained was caused by the
assemblage at Washington of the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal Convention,
adding some hundreds to the ordinary visiters of the period. To add to
the discomfort of wanting lodgings, it was raining with great violence,
and I dreaded a drive through the interminable streets of the federal
metropolis. Our lady companion had observed that she was to be dropped
at the residence of some relative, and moreover stated that it was a
boarding house. But she avoided proposing that we should quarter with
her; and not until I had seen her safely within the house, and was
returning to the stage, did she mention our plight to her relative. The
latter was immediately urgent that we should remain at her house,
declaring that she had several unoccupied rooms, which were entirely at
our disposal.
This new position of affairs was highly gratifying, and we anticipated
all the comforts of a good supper, and comfortable lodgings, with a
satisfaction which can best be conceived by those to whom those
commodities have, at times, been wanting. My wife was safely seated in
the well warmed dining room, the baggage deposited in the hall,--and I
took the opportunity afforded by a delay in the appearance of supper,
to step across the street, and inform the gentlemen with whom I was
engaged, of my arrival, which was a day or two later than they had
anticipated. On my return to the boarding house, to my utter
astonishment, I saw my wife standing at the street door, in her bonnet
and cloak, while my trunks were piled upon the steps.
Hey dey, said I, what does all this mean--why are you not warming
yourself at the fire, instead of standing here muffled up, as if your
journey was now to commence instead of being ended?
We cannot remain, said she, in a tone of chagrin.
Cannot! What is the reason? Are the people mad here, as well as on the
road?
It would seem so. I had scarcely been five minutes in the house, when
the landlady, who was at first so eager that we should lodge with her,
changed her mind, and informed me that she could not accommodate us.
But she will not turn us out supperless, I hope, such a night as this?
I am not so certain of that. She appears to be infected with the same
disease under which all our travelling companions have labored. People
seem actually to avoid us as though we carried the plague about in our
garments. She bowed me out of the dining room with as little ceremony
as she would have shewn to a mendicant.
Well, well, said I, come in out of the air, and I will reason with her.
So saying I led the way to the principal apartment in the house, which
served as parlor, drawing room, and dining room--where the landlady
soon made her appearance. She was a small, thin-faced woman, her form
wiry and attenuated; her motions rapid and nervous; countenance much
wrinkled, and of most forbidding expression, and a voice from which no
art could have extracted a sound bearing the remotest relationship to
harmony. Her dress was evidently suited to the season, when members of
congress are seeking quarters for the winter, and when those who have
them at disposal, are interested in putting the best possible face on
every thing appertaining to their establishments. Her costume was, a
silk frock, stretched upon her bony frame, and a yellow gauze turban,
of monstrous size, decked with crimson ribbons, perched upon the top of
her head, which thus seemed enveloped in "fire and brimstone:"--These
awkwardly worn habiliments betrayed the fact that the lady had passed
the day in attending the calls of the law-givers of the land, with the
laudable design of enhancing the value of her accommodations, in the
eyes of some rustic Solon, but newly caught, by the genteel appearance
of their mistress.
I addressed this formidable figure, with an inquiry whether we could
not remain with her for the night, referring to the state of the
weather as rendering it almost impossible to make search for lodgings
that evening.
The lady eyed me with great scrutiny, and there was an elevation of her
nasal organ, while looking at me, which distorted to a more hideous
expression than was natural, her weather-beaten visage.
"Indeed," said she, "you can't stay, and that's all about it. Three
_members_ have just sent down to say that they would take the rooms
what they look'd at this morning, and that they must be fix'd up this
very night. So you see you can't stay. It a'nt my fault--and so I can't
say no more about it."
"Then we _must_ look for other lodgings. But you can give us supper.
The members of Congress have not bespoken _that_ also, I presume."
"Well--no. You _can_ eat your suppers here I spose."
"And this lady can remain here until I can obtain other quarters."
"Well, I've no particular objection to her sitting here awhile."
Just then supper was served, and we partook of it. Our travelling
companion was at the table, but scarcely recognized us, and the
landlady was barely civil. When the meal was over, I requested the
latter to allow a servant to accompany me in my search, as I was
ignorant of the location of the principal boarding houses. Her son, a
pert lad of about thirteen, volunteered to pilot me, and without delay
we sallied out.
It occurred to me as we passed up Pennsylvania avenue, that I had
forgotten to deliver a message of some importance to my employers, when
I called to announce my arrival, and I turned a little out of my way to
the office of the N---- I----, where, while I was closeted for a few
moments with one of the editors, my juvenile guide remained in the
clerk's office.
On leaving the office, I was surprised at the altered tone of the lad.
"You had better go back," said the manakin: "it is too late to get
lodgings to-night. My mother can keep you as well as not."
"But she has refused to do so, and insists that it is out of her
power."
"Never mind that. Go back with me--I'll work the old woman over. See if
I don't tell you the truth."
"You are a promising lad," said I, "but a little too forward. Let us go
on."
Finding me determined to prosecute the search, he yielded, and we
called at several houses; but all were full. Against my will, I was
forced to return, with the resolution of making good my quarters for
the night, at any rate, with or without the consent of the lady of the
house. My guide assured me that he could "manage the old woman," and
told me to give myself no uneasiness on the subject.
After a dreary walk, we reached the house. There sat my wife with her
bonnet still on, for no one had asked her to remove it--and there sat
the lady in the brimstone turban, and fiery ribbons, in whose ugly
visage the words "_turn out_" seemed written, in characters not to be
mistaken. As we entered, the boy motioned his mother, who joined him at
the door, where they held a whispering colloquy for a few moments.
While they were thus engaged, I learned from my wife that there had
been no change in the sentence of exclusion, altho' no new lodgers had
made their appearance.
The whispering ceased, and the landlady approached me. What was my
astonishment at perceiving that the gorgon face, before so hideous with
frowns, was puckered into the queerest attempt at a smile that was ever
before witnessed on the human countenance.
But this was not all. Not only did her face exhibit these convulsive
efforts, but the form approached us, curtseying with a most unhappy
imitation of grace.
The devil is in the hag--said I internally. What new trick is to be
played now? I was not long in suspense. The boy had kept his promise it
seemed, for he or some one else, actually had "worked the old woman
over." She affirmed that she had just received messages from the three
_members_, stating that they were not in haste for the rooms--and she
assured us they were entirely at our service.
We knew that this was a fiction; but we were fatigued, and disposed to
take the good the Gods provided for us, without much question. We were
shewn to our apartments and slept soundly, forgetting all the vexations
of the day.
The next morning, after having exhausted ourselves in wonderment at the
freaks which had been played off upon us, I left my wife, to make some
calls in the city. I had not been long absent, when she received a
visit from Mrs. M., our travelling companion, who, after the usual
salutations had passed, seemed struggling to suppress a disposition to
laugh, which my wife took to be another mad freak, to be classed with
those she had previously witnessed.
The propensity at length overcame her, and she burst into a fit of
uncontrollable laughter, which lasted for many minutes.
Indignant as my wife was disposed to be, at such an unexpected
explosion of mirth, from a lady who had for two days treated her with
haughty reserve, if not absolute contempt, she bore it with patience,
and awaited in silence the conclusion of her visiter's merry humor, and
such explanation of its cause as she might choose to give.
Every thing must have an end--and the lady at length ceased her
laughter, from absolute exhaustion.
"My dear madam,--she gasped out--my dear madam--this is very rude--very
rude indeed. You must be surprised at such conduct, and I beg your
pardon but"----
"It would be an unnecessary dissimulation, to say I am not surprised;
but I presume I shall soon learn to be surprised at nothing."
"You really then, think you have been associated for the last few days,
with persons little better than bedlamites."
"I have certainly been exposed to strange conduct."
"Well, I have come to explain the whole mystery. Do not be offended at
my mirth. I could not resist it. The laugh was more against myself than
you--and the whole affair is so ridiculous, that you will laugh too,
when you know the truth."
"I own that I have a strong curiosity to be acquainted with the cause
of the strange treatment we have met with. I presume it arose out of
some mistake."
"Entirely, entirely--and then a blunder so ridiculous--so uncommon!
Excuse me, but really I must laugh--ha, ha, ha. But I will keep you in
suspense no longer; besides, I wish you to laugh _with_ me, and
therefore I will tell you my story. Listen. You remember that at
Newcastle, you and your husband took one of the first stages. Myself
and children were seated in another, in company with Mrs. R., (the
pretty, talkative woman with light hair,) two members of Congress, and
a young naval officer. We had scarcely started, when Mrs. R. commenced
with her usual volubility, running over the various persons who had
fallen under her observation in the steamboat. At last your turn came
to be criticised: 'Did you observe Mrs. S.,' said she, 'the lady with
black hair and blue eyes--rather pretty, and at first I took her to be
quite a genteel personage.' Yes, I replied, I had been introduced to
you, and was to place myself under the protection of your husband, from
Baltimore to Washington."
"'Did you ascertain any thing of their standing and character,' said
Mrs. R."
"Not a word said I. My friend Mr. H. told me they were genteel people,
and their appearance warrants his opinion."
"'Well, really,' said Mrs. R., 'how easy it is to be deceived by people
that one knows nothing about. You would not believe it--I am sure I
would not, if Mrs. S. had not told me with her own lips--I say,
otherwise, I would not have believed that Mr. S. was going to
Washington in such a _menial capacity_.'"
"What!" said I.
"'_Menial capacity?_' said one member of Congress."
"'_Menial capacity?_' echoed the other member."
"'I took him for a gentleman,' said the naval officer--'Confound the
fellow's impudence.'"
"But, said I, you must be mistaken, I'm sure. I am to go to Washington
with him."
"'There must be some mistake,' said the two members of Congress, and
the young naval officer, all in a breath."
"'Why we have engaged to make up a game of whist with him this
evening,' said the latter."
"'Certainly!' said one member of Congress."
"'Certainly!' said the other member of Congress. 'Oh, there must be
some mistake, my good madam. _Menial capacity!_ Impossible!'"
"'No mistake at all,' retorted Mrs. R., with some asperity. 'I tell you
I had it from Mrs. S's own mouth, and she owned it after a good deal of
hesitation and reluctance. I put twenty questions to her before I could
get an answer.'"
"Well, said I, if you are so well satisfied that you are right, we are
interested to know who and what these people are. I do not choose to
travel under the protection of a man of _menial capacity_."
"'Yes, yes,' said the naval officer, '_what_ the deuse is the fellow. I
should not wonder if he were a pick-pocket, or a black-leg, to judge by
his easy impudence.'"
"'Very likely,' said one member of Congress."
"'I have not a doubt of it,' said the other member. 'But let us know,
if you please madam, what he is.'"
"'As I said before, I would not have believed it if Mrs. S. had not
told me herself,' said Mrs. R., hesitating."
"'Oh, no doubt you are right,' said the naval officer: 'but please let
us know who it is we have been so familiar with.'"
"'Well,' said Mrs. R. 'Mrs. S. told me that her husband was going to
Washington to be _Porter_ to the Senate.'"
Here my wife interrupted Mrs. M. with a fit of laughter almost equal to
that with which Mrs. M. had indulged herself in the outset.
"So," said the former, "Mrs. R. mistook the word _Re_porter, for that
of _Porter_,--an important omission."
"So it would seem," rejoined Mrs. M. "But let me go on."
"'_Porter to the Senate!_' exclaimed every voice."
"'A fellow who runs errands for the Senators, fetches and carries
bundles, &c., I suppose,' said the naval officer."
"'I can't conceive what station he is to fill,' said one of the members
of Congress, 'unless it is that of _old Tobias, the black man_, who
kindles fires, and carries messages.'"
"'That is it I dare say,' said the other member."
"'We must cut him,' said the naval officer."
"'To be sure.'" "'To be sure.'"
"So it was settled by all present that you were to be cut without
benefit of clergy."
"I should not have consented to place myself under your protection,
continued Mrs. M., but that I had no choice. Knowing no other person
with whom I could travel, I reluctantly accompanied you; and I trust,"
said she, laughing, "that on the road, I shewed a very laudable
aversion to the contaminating society of a _Porter_ and his wife."
"No one can deny you that merit," said my wife.
"Well, I cannot ask your pardon for it. There was no malice in the
mistake, and I am almost as much annoyed at it as you can be. After you
arrived here last night, the landlady insisted on knowing what business
brought your husband to Washington; and I reluctantly told her what I
had heard. At the bare idea of lodging a _Porter_, her feathers
bristled up like those of a Barbary hen. Her yellow turban looked blue
at the idea of such an indignity. She protested that she would have no
_Porters_ in her house, nor no such rapscallions as had the impudence
to go about dressed like decent people, to take in the flats. And so,
my dear madam, you were turned out without much ceremony, and might
have spent the night in the street, but for the information obtained by
the boy at the office of the N---- I----, which, by giving another
syllable to the profession of your husband, shewed beyond a doubt that
you were entitled to christian treatment. You know the rest, and I
trust we shall all of us when we remember these blunders, acknowledge
the IMPORTANCE OF A SINGLE SYLLABLE."