The subject of sex is a remarkable one, since, though its phenomena
concern us so much, both directly and indirectly, and, sooner or
later, it occupies the thoughts of all, yet all mankind, as it were,
agree to be silent about it, at least the sexes commonly one to
another. One of the most interesting of all human facts is veiled more
completely than any mystery. It is treated with such secrecy and awe
as surely do not go to any religion. I believe that it is unusual even
for the most intimate friends to communicate the pleasures and
anxieties connected with this fact,--much as the external affair of
love, its comings and goings, are bruited. The Shakers do not
exaggerate it so much by their manner of speaking of it as all mankind
by their manner of keeping silence about it. Not that men should speak
on this or any subject without having anything worthy to say; but it
is plain that the education of man has hardly commenced,--there is so
little genuine intercommunication.
In a pure society, the subject of marriage would not be so often
avoided,--from shame and not from reverence, winked out of sight, and
hinted at only; but treated naturally and simply,--perhaps simply
avoided, like the kindred mysteries. If it cannot be spoken of for
shame, how can it be acted of? But, doubtless, there is far more
purity, as well as more impurity, than is apparent.
Men commonly couple with their idea of marriage a slight degree at
least of sensuality; but every lover, the world over, believes in its
inconceivable purity.
If it is the result of a pure love, there can be nothing sensual in
marriage. Chastity is something positive, not negative. It is the
virtue of the married especially. All lusts or base pleasures must
give place to loftier delights. They who meet as superior beings
cannot perform the deeds of inferior ones. The deeds of love are less
questionable than any action of an individual can be, for, it being
founded on the rarest mutual respect, the parties incessantly
stimulate each other to a loftier and purer life, and the act in which
they are associated must be pure and noble indeed, for innocence and
purity can have no equal. In this relation we deal with one whom we
respect more religiously even than we respect our better selves, and
we shall necessarily conduct as in the presence of God. What presence
can be more awful to the lover than the presence of his beloved?
If you seek the warmth even of affection from a similar motive to that
from which cats and dogs and slothful persons hug the fire,--because
your temperature is low through sloth,--you are on the downward road,
and it is but to plunge yet deeper into sloth. Better the cold
affection of the sun, reflected from fields of ice and snow, or his
warmth in some still, wintry dell. The warmth of celestial love does
not relax, but nerves and braces its enjoyer. Warm your body by
healthful exercise, not by cowering over a stove. Warm your spirit by
performing independently noble deeds, not by ignobly seeking the
sympathy of your fellows who are no better than yourself. A man's
social and spiritual discipline must answer to his corporeal. He must
lean on a friend who has a hard breast, as he would lie on a hard bed.
He must drink cold water for his only beverage. So he must not hear
sweetened and colored words, but pure and refreshing truths. He must
daily bathe in truth cold as spring water, not warmed by the sympathy
of friends.
Can love be in aught allied to dissipation? Let us love by refusing,
not accepting one another. Love and lust are far asunder. The one is
good, the other bad. When the affectionate sympathize by their higher
natures, there is love; but there is danger that they will sympathize
by their lower natures, and then there is lust. It is not necessary
that this be deliberate, hardly even conscious; but, in the close
contact of affection, there is danger that we may stain and pollute
one another; for we cannot embrace but with an entire embrace.
We must love our friend so much that she shall be associated with our
purest and holiest thoughts alone. When there is impurity, we have
"descended to meet," though we knew it not.
The _luxury_ of affection,--there's the danger. There must be some
nerve and heroism in our love, as of a winter morning. In the religion
of all nations a purity is hinted at, which, I fear, men never attain
to. We may love and not elevate one another. The love that takes us as
it finds us degrades us. What watch we must keep over the fairest and
purest of our affections, lest there be some taint about them! May we
so love as never to have occasion to repent of our love!
There is to be attributed to sensuality the loss to language of how
many pregnant symbols! Flowers, which, by their infinite hues and
fragrance, celebrate the marriage of the plants, are intended for a
symbol of the open and unsuspected beauty of all true marriage, when
man's flowering season arrives.
Virginity, too, is a budding flower, and by an impure marriage the
virgin is deflowered. Whoever loves flowers, loves virgins and
chastity. Love and lust are as far asunder as a flower-garden is from
a brothel.
J. Biberg, in the "Amoenitates Botanicae," edited by Linnæus, observes
(I translate from the Latin): "The organs of generation, which, in the
animal kingdom, are for the most part concealed by nature, as if they
were to be ashamed of, in the vegetable kingdom are exposed to the
eyes of all; and, when the nuptials of plants are celebrated, it is
wonderful what delight they afford to the beholder, refreshing the
senses with the most agreeable color and the sweetest odor; and, at
the same time, bees and other insects, not to mention the hummingbird,
extract honey from their nectaries, and gather wax from their effete
pollen." Linnæus himself calls the calyx the _thalamus_, or bridal
chamber; and the corolla the _aulaeum_, or tapestry of it, and
proceeds to explain thus every part of the flower.
Who knows but evil spirits might corrupt the flowers themselves, rob
them of their fragrance and their fair hues, and turn their marriage
into a secret shame and defilement? Already they are of various
qualities, and there is one whose nuptials fill the lowlands in June
with the odor of carrion.
The intercourse of the sexes, I have dreamed, is incredibly beautiful,
too fair to be remembered. I have had thoughts about it, but they are
among the most fleeting and irrecoverable in my experience. It is
strange that men will talk of miracles, revelation, inspiration, and
the like, as things past, while love remains.
A true marriage will differ in no wise from illumination. In all
perception of the truth there is a divine ecstasy, an inexpressible
delirium of joy, as when a youth embraces his betrothed virgin. The
ultimate delights of a true marriage are one with this.
No wonder that, out of such a union, not as end, but as accompaniment,
comes the undying race of man. The womb is a most fertile soil.
Some have asked if the stock of men could not be improved,--if they
could not be bred as cattle. Let Love be purified, and all the rest
will follow. A pure love is thus, indeed, the panacea for all the ills
of the world.
The only excuse for reproduction is improvement. Nature abhors
repetition. Beasts merely propagate their kind; but the offspring of
noble men and women will be superior to themselves, as their
aspirations are. By their fruits ye shall know them.