WE REAP WHAT WE SOW
If anything could have prejudiced Hamilton Gregory against Fran's
interests it would have been her slighting allusion to the one who
typified his most exalted ideals as "that woman". But Fran was to him
nothing but an agent bringing out of the past a secret he had
preserved for almost twenty years. This stranger knew of his youthful
folly, and she must be prevented from communicating it to others.
It was from no sense of aroused conscience that he hastened to lead
her to the front room. In this crisis, something other than shuddering
recoil from haunting deeds was imperative; unlovely specters must be
made to vanish.
How much did this girl know? And how could her silence be purchased?
His conscience was seldom asleep; but coals of remorse are endurable,
however galling, if the winds of publicity do not threaten to fan them
to a blaze.
He tried desperately to cover his dread under a voice of harshness:
"What have you to say to me?"
Fran had lost the insolent composure which the secretary had inspired.
Now that she was alone with Hamilton Gregory, it seemed impossible to
speak. She clasped and unclasped her hands. She opened her mouth, but
her lips were dry. The wind had risen, and as it went moaning past the
window, it seemed to speak of the yearning of years passing in the
night, unsatisfied. At last came the words muffled, frightened--"I
know all about it."
"All about what, child?" He had lost his harshness. His voice was
almost coaxing, as if entreating the mercy of ignorance.
Fran gasped, "I know all about it--I know--" She was terrified by the
thought that perhaps she would not be able to tell him. Her head grew
light; she seemed floating away into dark space, as if drawn by the
fleeing wind, while the man before her was magnified. She leaned
heavily upon a table with hand turned backward, whitening her
fingertips by the weight thrown on them.
"About what?" he repeated with the caution of one who fears. He could
not doubt the genuineness of her emotion; but he would not accept her
statement of its cause until he must.
"Oh," cried Fran, catching a tempestuous breath, uneven, violent, "you
know what I mean--_that!_"
The dew glistened on his brow, but he doggedly stood on the defensive.
"You are indefinite," he muttered, trying to appear bold.
She knew he did not understand because he would not, and now she
realized that he would, if possible, deny. His bearing suggested
something so foreign to her own nature, that it gave her strength. She
had been afraid to witness the emotion her knowledge might excite, but
all he revealed was a determination to avoid the issue.
Pretense and sham always hardened her. "Then," she said slowly, "I
will be definite. I will tell you the things it would have been better
for you to tell me. Your early home was in New York, but you had a
cousin living in Springfield, where there was a very good college.
Your parents were anxious to get you away from the temptations of a
big city until you were of age. So you were sent to live with your
cousin and attend college. You were with him three or four years, and
at last the time came for graduation. Shall I go on?"
He fought desperately for self-preservation. "What is there in all
this?"
"You had married, in the meantime," Fran said coldly; "married
secretly. That was about nineteen years ago. She was only about
eighteen. After graduation, you were to go to New York, break the news
to your father, come back to Springfield for your wife, and
acknowledge her. You graduated; you went to your father. Did you come
back?"
"My God!" groaned the man. So she knew everything; must he admit it?
"What is all this to you?" he burst forth. "Who and what are you,
anyway--and why do you come here with your story? If it were true--"
"True!" said Fran bitterly. "If you've forgotten, why not go to
Springfield and ask the first old citizen you meet? Or you might write
to some one you used to know, and inquire. If you prefer, I'll send
for one of your old professors, and pay his expenses. They took a good
deal of interest in the young college student who married and
neglected Josephine Derry. They haven't forgotten it, if you have."
"You don't know," he gasped, "that there's a penalty for coming to
people's houses to threaten them with supposed facts in their lives.
You don't know that the jails are ready to punish blackmailing, for
you are only a little girl and don't understand such things. I give
you warning. Although you are in short dresses--"
"Yes," remarked Fran dryly, "I thought that would be an advantage to
you. It ought to make things easier."
"How an advantage to me? Easier? What have I to do with you?"
"I thought," Fran said coolly, "that it would be easier for you to
take me into the house as a little girl than as a grown woman. You'll
remember I told you I've come here to stay."
"To stay!" he echoed, shrinking back. "_You?_"
"Yes," she said, all the cooler for his attitude of repulsion. "I want
a home. Yes, I'm going to stay. I want to belong to somebody."
He cried out desperately, "But what am I to do? This will ruin me--oh,
it's true, all you've said--I don't deny it. But I tell you, girl, you
will ruin me. Is all the work of my life to be overturned? I shall go
mad."
"No, you won't," Fran calmly assured him.
[Illustration with caption: "I want to belong to somebody"]
"You'll do what every one has to do, sooner or later--face the
situation. You're a little late getting to it, but it was coming all
the time. You can let me live here as an adopted orphan, or any way
you please. The important fact to me is that I'm going to live here.
But I don't want to make it hard for you, truly I don't."
"Don't you?" He spoke not loudly, but with tremendous pressure of
desire. "Then, for God's sake, go back! Go back to--to wherever, you
came from. I'll pay all expenses. You shall have all you want--"
"All I want," Fran responded, "is a home, and that's something people
can't buy. Get used to the thought of my staying here; that will make
it easy."
"Easy!" he ejaculated. "Then it's your purpose to compel me to give
you shelter because of this secret--you mean to ruin me. I'll not be
able to account for you, and they will question--my wife will want to
know, and--and others as well."
"Now, now," said Fran, with sudden gentleness, "don't be so excited,
don't take it so hard. Let them question. I'll know how to keep from
exposing you. But I do want to belong to somebody, and after I've been
here a while, and you begin to like me, I'll tell you everything. I
knew the Josephine Derry that you deserted--she raised me, and I know
she loved you to the end. Didn't you ever care for her, not even at
the first, when you got her to keep your marriage secret until you
could speak to your father face to face? You must have loved her then.
And she's the best friend I ever had. Since she died I've wandered--
and--and I want a home."
The long loneliness of years found expression in her eager voice and
pleading eyes, but he was too engrossed with his own misfortunes to
heed her emotion. "Didn't I go back to Springfield?" he cried out. "Of
course I did. I made inquiries for her; that's why I went back--to
find out what had become of her. I'd been gone only three years, yes,
only three years--but, good heavens, how I had suffered! I was so
changed that nobody knew me." He paused, appalled at the recollection.
"I have always had a terrible capacity for suffering. I tell you, it
was my duty to go back to find her, and I went back. I would have
acknowledged her as my wife. I would have lived with her. I'd have
done right by her, though it had killed me. Can I say more than that?"
"I am glad you went back,' said Fran softly. "She never knew it. I am
so glad that you did--even that."
"Yes, I did go back," he said, more firmly. "But she was gone. I tell
you all this because you say she was your best friend."
"A while ago you asked me who I am--and what--"
"It doesn't matter," he interjected. "You were her friend; that is all
I care to know. I went back to Springfield, after three years--but she
was gone. I was told that her uncle had cast her off, and she had
disappeared. It seems that she'd made friends with a class of people
who were not--who were not--respectable."
Fran's eyes shone brightly. "Oh, they were not," she agreed, "they
were not at all what you would call respectable. They were not
religious."
"So I was told," he resumed, a little uncertainly. "There was no way
for me to find her."
"Her?" cried Fran, "you keep saying _'her'._ Do you mean--?"
He hesitated. "She had chosen her part--to live with those people--I
left her to lead the life that pleased her. That's why I never went
back to Springfield again. I've taken up my life in my own way, and
left her--your friend--"
"Yes, call her that," cried Fran, holding up her head. "I am proud of
that title. I glory in it. And in this house--"
"I have made my offer," he interrupted decidedly. "I'll provide for
you anywhere but in this house."
Fran regarded him with somber intensity. "I've asked for a home with
you on the grounds that your wife was my best friend in all the world,
and because I am homeless. You refuse. I suppose that's natural. I
have to guess at your feelings because I haven't been raised among
'respectable' people. I'm sorry you don't like it, but you're going to
provide for me right here. For a girl, I'm pretty independent; folks
that don't like me are welcome to all the enjoyment they get out of
their dislike. I'm here to stay. Suppose you look on me as a sort of
summer crop. I enjoyed hearing you. sing, to-night--
"'We reap what we sow,
We reap what we sow'--
I see you remember."
He shuddered at her mocking holy things. "Hush! What are you saying?
The past is cut off from my life. I have been pardoned, and I will not
have anybody forcing that past upon me."
Her words came bitingly: "You can't help it. You sowed. You can't
pardon a seed from growing."
"I can help it, and I will. The past is no more mine than hers--our
marriage was legal, but it bound me no more than it bound her. She
chose her own companions. I have been building up a respectable life,
here in Littleburg. You shall not overturn the labor of the last ten
years. You can go. My will is unalterable. Go--and do what you can!"
Instead of anger, Fran showed sorrow: "How long have you been married
to the second Mrs. Gregory--the present one?"
He turned his back upon her as if to go to the door, but he wheeled
about: "Ten years. You understand? Ten years of the best work of my
life that you want to destroy."
"Poor lady!" murmured Fran. "The first Mrs. Gregory--my _'friend'_--
has been dead only three years. You and she were never divorced. The
lady that you call Mrs. Gregory now,--she isn't your wife, is she?"
"I thought--" he was suddenly ashen pale--"but I thought that _she_--I
believed her dead long ago--I was sure of it--positive. What you say
is impossible--"
"But no one can sow without reaping," Fran said, still pityingly.
"When you sang those words, it was only a song to you, but music is
just a bit of life's embroidery, while you think it life itself. You
don't sow, or reap in a choir loft. You can't sow deeds and reap
words."
"I understand you, now," he faltered. "You have come to disgrace me.
What good will that do you, or--or my first wife? You are no
abstraction, to represent sowing or reaping, but a flesh-and-blood
girl who can go away if she chooses--"
"She chooses to stay," Fran assured him.
"Then you have resolved to ruin me and break my wife's heart! "The
sweet uncomplaining face of the second Mrs. Gregory rose before him.
And Grace Noir--what would _she_ think?
"No, I'm just here to have a home."
"Will you enjoy a home that you seize by force?"
"Don't they say that the Kingdom of God may be taken by force? But you
know more about the Kingdom than I. Let them believe me the daughter
of some old boyhood friend--that'll make it easy. As the daughter of
that friend, you'll give me a home. I'll keep out of your way, and be
pleasant--a nice little girl, of any age you please." She smiled
remotely.
He spoke dully: "But they'll want to know all about that old college
friend."
"Naturally. Well, just invent some story--I'll stand by you."
"You do not know me," he returned, drawing himself up. "What! do you
imagine I would lie to them?"
"I think," Fran remarked impersonally, "that to a person in your
position--a person beginning to reap what he has sown, lying is always
the next course. But you must act as your conscience dictates. You may
be sure that if you decide to tell the truth, I'll certainly stand by
you in that."
Helplessly driven to bay, he flashed out violently, "Unnatural girl--
or woman--or whatever you are--there is no spirit of girlhood or
womanhood in you."
Fran returned in a low concentrated voice, "If I'm unnatural, what
were you in the Springfield days? Was it natural for you to be married
secretly when the marriage might have been public? When you went away
to break the news to your father, wasn't it rather unnatural for you
to hide three years before coming back? When you came back and heard
that your wife had gone away to be supported by people who were not
respectable, was it natural for you to be satisfied with the first
rumors you heard, and disappear for good and all?
"As for me, yes, I have neither the spirit of girlhood nor womanhood,
for I'm neither a girl, nor a woman, I'm nothing." Her voice
trembled." Don't rouse my anger--when I lose grip on myself, I'm
pretty hard to stop. If I let everything rush on my mind--how she--my
_'friend'_--my sweet darling 'friend'--how she searched for you all
the years till she died--and how even on her death-bed she thought
maybe you'd come--you--"
Fran choked back the words. "Don't!" she gasped. "Don't reproach me,
or I'll reproach you, and I mustn't do that. I want to hide my real
heart from you--from all the world. I want to smile, and be like
respectable people."
"For God's sake," whispered the other frantically, "hush! I hear my
wife coming. Yes, yes, I'll do everything you say, but, oh, don't ruin
me. You shall have a home with us, you shall have everything,
everything."
"Except a welcome," Fran faltered, frightened at the emotion she had
betrayed. "Can you show me to a room--quick--before your wife comes? I
don't want to meet her, now, I'm terribly tired. I've come all the way
from New York to find you; I reached Littleburg only at dusk--and I've
been pretty busy ever since!"
"Come, then," he said hastily. "This way--I'll show you a room....
It's too late," he broke off, striving desperately to regain
composure.
The door opened, and a woman entered the room hastily.