Vio. My matter hath no voice Lady, but to your owne
most pregnant and vouchsafed eare
And. Odours, pregnant, and vouchsafed: Ile get 'em
all three already
Ol. Let the Garden doore be shut, and leaue mee to
my hearing. Giue me your hand sir
Vio. My dutie Madam, and most humble seruice
Ol. What is your name?
Vio. Cesario is your seruants name, faire Princesse
Ol. My seruant sir? 'Twas neuer merry world,
Since lowly feigning was call'd complement:
Y'are seruant to the Count Orsino youth
Vio. And he is yours, and his must needs be yours:
Your seruants seruant, is your seruant Madam
Ol. For him, I thinke not on him: for his thoughts,
Would they were blankes, rather then fill'd with me
Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts
On his behalfe
Ol. O by your leaue I pray you.
I bad you neuer speake againe of him;
But would you vndertake another suite
I had rather heare you, to solicit that,
Then Musicke from the spheares
Vio. Deere Lady
Ol. Giue me leaue, beseech you: I did send,
After the last enchantment you did heare,
A Ring in chace of you. So did I abuse
My selfe, my seruant, and I feare me you:
Vnder your hard construction must I sit,
To force that on you in a shamefull cunning
Which you knew none of yours. What might you think?
Haue you not set mine Honor at the stake,
And baited it with all th' vnmuzled thoughts
That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiuing
Enough is shewne, a Cipresse, not a bosome,
Hides my heart: so let me heare you speake
Vio. I pittie you
Ol. That's a degree to loue
Vio. No not a grize: for tis a vulgar proofe
That verie oft we pitty enemies
Ol. Why then me thinkes 'tis time to smile agen:
O world, how apt the poore are to be proud?
If one should be a prey, how much the better
To fall before the Lion, then the Wolfe?
Clocke strikes.
The clocke vpbraides me with the waste of time:
Be not affraid good youth, I will not haue you,
And yet when wit and youth is come to haruest,
Your wife is like to reape a proper man:
There lies your way, due West
Vio. Then Westward hoe:
Grace and good disposition attend your Ladyship:
You'l nothing Madam to my Lord, by me:
Ol. Stay: I prethee tell me what thou thinkst of me?
Vio. That you do thinke you are not what you are
Ol. If I thinke so, I thinke the same of you
Vio. Then thinke you right: I am not what I am
Ol. I would you were, as I would haue you be
Vio. Would it be better Madam, then I am?
I wish it might, for now I am your foole
Ol. O what a deale of scorne, lookes beautifull?
In the contempt and anger of his lip,
A murdrous guilt shewes not it selfe more soone,
Then loue that would seeme hid: Loues night, is noone.
Cesario, by the Roses of the Spring,
By maid-hood, honor, truth, and euery thing,
I loue thee so, that maugre all thy pride,
Nor wit, nor reason, can my passion hide:
Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause:
But rather reason thus, with reason fetter;
Loue sought, is good: but giuen vnsought, is better
Vio. By innocence I sweare, and by my youth,
I haue one heart, one bosome, and one truth,
And that no woman has, nor neuer none
Shall mistris be of it, saue I alone.
And so adieu good Madam, neuer more,
Will I my Masters teares to you deplore
Ol. Yet come againe: for thou perhaps mayst moue
That heart which now abhorres, to like his loue.
Exeunt.
Scoena Secunda.
Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian.
And. No faith, Ile not stay a iot longer:
To. Thy reason deere venom, giue thy reason
Fab. You must needes yeelde your reason, Sir Andrew?
And. Marry I saw your Neece do more fauours to the
Counts Seruing-man, then euer she bestow'd vpon mee:
I saw't i'th Orchard
To. Did she see the while, old boy, tell me that
And. As plaine as I see you now
Fab. This was a great argument of loue in her toward
you
And. S'light; will you make an Asse o'me
Fab. I will proue it legitimate sir, vpon the Oathes of
iudgement, and reason
To. And they haue beene grand Iurie men, since before
Noah was a Saylor
Fab. Shee did shew fauour to the youth in your sight,
onely to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour,
to put fire in your Heart, and brimstone in your Liuer:
you should then haue accosted her, and with some excellent
iests, fire-new from the mint, you should haue bangd
the youth into dumbenesse: this was look'd for at your
hand, and this was baulkt: the double gilt of this opportunitie
you let time wash off, and you are now sayld into
the North of my Ladies opinion, where you will hang
like an ysickle on a Dutchmans beard, vnlesse you do redeeme
it, by some laudable attempt, either of valour or
policie
And. And't be any way, it must be with Valour, for
policie I hate: I had as liefe be a Brownist, as a Politician
To. Why then build me thy fortunes vpon the basis of
valour. Challenge me the Counts youth to fight with him
hurt him in eleuen places, my Neece shall take note of it,
and assure thy selfe, there is no loue-Broker in the world,
can more preuaile in mans commendation with woman,
then report of valour
Fab. There is no way but this sir Andrew
An. Will either of you beare me a challenge to him?
To. Go, write it in a martial hand, be curst and briefe:
it is no matter how wittie, so it bee eloquent, and full of
inuention: taunt him with the license of Inke: if thou
thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amisse, and as many
Lyes, as will lye in thy sheete of paper, although the
sheete were bigge enough for the bedde of Ware in England,
set 'em downe, go about it. Let there bee gaulle enough
in thy inke, though thou write with a Goose-pen,
no matter: about it
And. Where shall I finde you?
To. Wee'l call thee at the Cubiculo: Go.
Exit Sir Andrew.
Fa. This is a deere Manakin to you Sir Toby
To. I haue beene deere to him lad, some two thousand
strong, or so
Fa. We shall haue a rare Letter from him; but you'le
not deliuer't
To. Neuer trust me then: and by all meanes stirre on
the youth to an answer. I thinke Oxen and waine-ropes
cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were open'd
and you finde so much blood in his Liuer, as will clog the
foote of a flea, Ile eate the rest of th' anatomy
Fab. And his opposit the youth beares in his visage no
great presage of cruelty.
Enter Maria.
To. Looke where the youngest Wren of mine comes
Mar. If you desire the spleene, and will laughe your
selues into stitches, follow me; yond gull Maluolio is turned
Heathen, a verie Renegatho; for there is no christian
that meanes to be saued by beleeuing rightly, can euer
beleeue such impossible passages of grossenesse. Hee's in
yellow stockings
To. And crosse garter'd?
Mar. Most villanously: like a Pedant that keepes a
Schoole i'th Church: I haue dogg'd him like his murtherer.
He does obey euery point of the Letter that I dropt,
to betray him: He does smile his face into more lynes,
then is in the new Mappe, with the augmentation of the
Indies: you haue not seene such a thing as tis: I can hardly
forbeare hurling things at him, I know my Ladie will
strike him: if shee doe, hee'l smile, and take't for a great
fauour
To. Come bring vs, bring vs where he is.
Exeunt. Omnes.
Scaena Tertia.
Enter Sebastian and Anthonio.
Seb. I would not by my will haue troubled you,
But since you make your pleasure of your paines,
I will no further chide you
Ant. I could not stay behinde you: my desire
(More sharpe then filed steele) did spurre me forth,
And not all loue to see you (though so much
As might haue drawne one to a longer voyage)
But iealousie, what might befall your trauell,
Being skillesse in these parts: which to a stranger,
Vnguided, and vnfriended, often proue
Rough, and vnhospitable. My willing loue,
The rather by these arguments of feare
Set forth in your pursuite
Seb. My kinde Anthonio,
I can no other answer make, but thankes,
And thankes: and euer oft good turnes,
Are shuffel'd off with such vncurrant pay:
But were my worth, as is my conscience firme,
You should finde better dealing: what's to do?
Shall we go see the reliques of this Towne?
Ant. To morrow sir, best first go see your Lodging?
Seb. I am not weary, and 'tis long to night
I pray you let vs satisfie our eyes
With the memorials, and the things of fame
That do renowne this City
Ant. Would youl'd pardon me:
I do not without danger walke these streetes.
Once in a sea-fight 'gainst the Count his gallies,
I did some seruice, of such note indeede,
That were I tane heere, it would scarse be answer'd
Seb. Belike you slew great number of his people
Ant. Th' offence is not of such a bloody nature,
Albeit the quality of the time, and quarrell
Might well haue giuen vs bloody argument:
It might haue since bene answer'd in repaying
What we tooke from them, which for Traffiques sake
Most of our City did. Onely my selfe stood out,
For which if I be lapsed in this place
I shall pay deere
Seb. Do not then walke too open
Ant. It doth not fit me: hold sir, here's my purse,
In the South Suburbes at the Elephant
Is best to lodge: I will bespeake our dyet,
Whiles you beguile the time, and feed your knowledge
With viewing of the Towne, there shall you haue me
Seb. Why I your purse?
Ant. Haply your eye shall light vpon some toy
You haue desire to purchase: and your store
I thinke is not for idle Markets, sir
Seb. Ile be your purse-bearer, and leaue you
For an houre
Ant. To th' Elephant
Seb. I do remember.
Exeunt.
Scoena Quarta.
Enter Oliuia and Maria.
Ol. I haue sent after him, he sayes hee'l come:
How shall I feast him? What bestow of him?
For youth is bought more oft, then begg'd, or borrow'd.
I speake too loud: Where's Maluolio, he is sad, and ciuill,
And suites well for a seruant with my fortunes,
Where is Maluolio?
Mar. He's comming Madame:
But in very strange manner. He is sure possest Madam
Ol. Why what's the matter, does he raue?
Mar. No Madam, he does nothing but smile: your Ladyship
were best to haue some guard about you, if hee
come, for sure the man is tainted in's wits
Ol. Go call him hither.
Enter Maluolio.
I am as madde as hee,
If sad and merry madnesse equall bee.
How now Maluolio?
Mal. Sweet Lady, ho, ho
Ol. Smil'st thou? I sent for thee vpon a sad occasion
Mal. Sad Lady, I could be sad:
This does make some obstruction in the blood:
This crosse-gartering, but what of that?
If it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true
Sonnet is: Please one, and please all
Mal. Why how doest thou man?
What is the matter with thee?
Mal. Not blacke in my minde, though yellow in my
legges: It did come to his hands, and Commaunds shall
be executed. I thinke we doe know the sweet Romane
hand
Ol. Wilt thou go to bed Maluolio?
Mal. To bed? I sweet heart, and Ile come to thee
Ol. God comfort thee: Why dost thou smile so, and
kisse thy hand so oft?
Mar. How do you Maluolio?
Maluo. At your request:
Yes Nightingales answere Dawes
Mar. Why appeare you with this ridiculous boldnesse
before my Lady
Mal. Be not afraid of greatnesse: 'twas well writ
Ol. What meanst thou by that Maluolio?
Mal. Some are borne great
Ol. Ha?
Mal. Some atcheeue greatnesse
Ol. What sayst thou?
Mal. And some haue greatnesse thrust vpon them
Ol. Heauen restore thee
Mal. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings
Ol. Thy yellow stockings?
Mal. And wish'd to see thee crosse garter'd
Ol. Crosse garter'd?
Mal. Go too, thou art made, if thou desir'st to be so
Ol. Am I made?
Mal. If not, let me see thee a seruant still
Ol. Why this is verie Midsommer madnesse.
Enter Seruant.
Ser. Madame, the young Gentleman of the Count
Orsino's is return'd, I could hardly entreate him backe: he
attends your Ladyships pleasure
Ol. Ile come to him.
Good Maria, let this fellow be look'd too. Where's my
Cosine Toby, let some of my people haue a speciall care
of him, I would not haue him miscarrie for the halfe of
my Dowry.
Exit
Mal. Oh ho, do you come neere me now: no worse
man then sir Toby to looke to me. This concurres directly
with the Letter, she sends him on purpose, that I may
appeare stubborne to him: for she incites me to that in
the Letter. Cast thy humble slough sayes she: be opposite
with a Kinsman, surly with seruants, let thy tongue
langer with arguments of state, put thy selfe into the
tricke of singularity: and consequently setts downe the
manner how: as a sad face, a reuerend carriage, a slow
tongue, in the habite of some Sir of note, and so foorth.
I haue lymde her, but it is Ioues doing, and Ioue make me
thankefull. And when she went away now, let this Fellow
be look'd too: Fellow? not Maluolio, nor after my
degree, but Fellow. Why euery thing adheres togither,
that no dramme of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no
obstacle, no incredulous or vnsafe circumstance: What
can be saide? Nothing that can be, can come betweene
me, and the full prospect of my hopes. Well Ioue, not I,
is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.
Enter Toby, Fabian, and Maria.
To. Which way is hee in the name of sanctity. If all
the diuels of hell be drawne in little, and Legion himselfe
possest him, yet Ile speake to him
Fab. Heere he is, heere he is: how ist with you sir?
How ist with you man?
Mal. Go off, I discard you: let me enioy my priuate:
go off
Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speakes within him;
did not I tell you? Sir Toby, my Lady prayes you to haue
a care of him
Mal. Ah ha, does she so?
To. Go too, go too: peace, peace, wee must deale
gently with him: Let me alone. How do you Maluolio?
How ist with you? What man, defie the diuell: consider,
he's an enemy to mankinde
Mal. Do you know what you say?
Mar. La you, and you speake ill of the diuell, how
he takes it at heart. Pray God he be not bewitch'd
Fab. Carry his water to th' wise woman
Mar. Marry and it shall be done to morrow morning
if I liue. My Lady would not loose him for more then ile
say
Mal. How now mistris?
Mar. Oh Lord
To. Prethee hold thy peace, this is not the way: Doe
you not see you moue him? Let me alone with him
Fa. No way but gentlenesse, gently, gently: the Fiend
is rough, and will not be roughly vs'd
To. Why how now my bawcock? how dost y chuck?
Mal. Sir
To. I biddy, come with me. What man, tis not for
grauity to play at cherrie-pit with sathan Hang him foul
Colliar
Mar. Get him to say his prayers, good sir Toby gette
him to pray
Mal. My prayers Minx
Mar. No I warrant you, he will not heare of godlynesse
Mal. Go hang your selues all: you are ydle shallowe
things, I am not of your element, you shall knowe more
heereafter.
Exit
To. Ist possible?
Fa. If this were plaid vpon a stage now, I could condemne
it as an improbable fiction
To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the
deuice man
Mar. Nay pursue him now, least the deuice take ayre,
and taint
Fa. Why we shall make him mad indeede
Mar. The house will be the quieter
To. Come, wee'l haue him in a darke room & bound.
My Neece is already in the beleefe that he's mad: we may
carry it thus for our pleasure, and his pennance, til our very
pastime tyred out of breath, prompt vs to haue mercy
on him: at which time, we wil bring the deuice to the bar
and crowne thee for a finder of madmen: but see, but see.
Enter Sir Andrew.
Fa. More matter for a May morning
An. Heere's the Challenge, reade it: I warrant there's
vinegar and pepper in't
Fab. Ist so sawcy?
And. I, ist? I warrant him: do but read
To. Giue me.
Youth, whatsoeuer thou art, thou art but a scuruy fellow
Fa. Good, and valiant
To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy minde why I doe call
thee so, for I will shew thee no reason for't
Fa. A good note, that keepes you from the blow of y Law
To. Thou comst to the Lady Oliuia, and in my sight she vses
thee kindly: but thou lyest in thy throat, that is not the matter
I challenge thee for
Fa. Very breefe, and to exceeding good sence-lesse
To. I will way-lay thee going home, where if it be thy chance
to kill me
Fa. Good
To. Thou kilst me like a rogue and a villaine
Fa. Still you keepe o'th windie side of the Law: good
Tob. Fartheewell, and God haue mercie vpon one of our
soules. He may haue mercie vpon mine, but my hope is better,
and so looke to thy selfe. Thy friend as thou vsest him, & thy
sworne enemie, Andrew Ague-cheeke
To. If this Letter moue him not, his legges cannot:
Ile giu't him
Mar. You may haue verie fit occasion for't: he is now
in some commerce with my Ladie, and will by and by
depart
To. Go sir Andrew: scout mee for him at the corner
of the Orchard like a bum-Baylie: so soone as euer thou
seest him, draw, and as thou draw'st, sweare horrible: for
it comes to passe oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering
accent sharpely twang'd off, giues manhoode more
approbation, then euer proofe it selfe would haue earn'd
him. Away
And. Nay let me alone for swearing.
Exit
To. Now will not I deliuer his Letter: for the behauiour
of the yong Gentleman, giues him out to be of good
capacity, and breeding: his employment betweene his
Lord and my Neece, confirmes no lesse. Therefore, this
Letter being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror
in the youth: he will finde it comes from a Clodde-pole.
But sir, I will deliuer his Challenge by word of mouth;
set vpon Ague-cheeke a notable report of valor, and driue
the Gentleman (as I know his youth will aptly receiue it)
into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, furie, and
impetuositie. This will so fright them both, that they wil
kill one another by the looke, like Cockatrices.
Enter Oliuia and Viola.
Fab. Heere he comes with your Neece, giue them way
till he take leaue, and presently after him
To. I wil meditate the while vpon some horrid message
for a Challenge
Ol. I haue said too much vnto a hart of stone,
And laid mine honour too vnchary on't:
There's something in me that reproues my fault:
But such a head-strong potent fault it is,
That it but mockes reproofe
Vio. With the same hauiour that your passion beares,
Goes on my Masters greefes
Ol. Heere, weare this Iewell for me, tis my picture:
Refuse it not, it hath no tongue, to vex you:
And I beseech you come againe to morrow.
What shall you aske of me that Ile deny,
That honour (sau'd) may vpon asking giue
Vio. Nothing but this, your true loue for my master
Ol. How with mine honor may I giue him that,
Which I haue giuen to you
Vio. I will acquit you
Ol. Well, come againe to morrow: far-thee-well,
A Fiend like thee might beare my soule to hell.
Enter Toby and Fabian.
To. Gentleman, God saue thee
Vio. And you sir
To. That defence thou hast, betake the too't: of what
nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I knowe not:
but thy intercepter full of despight, bloody as the Hunter,
attends thee at the Orchard end: dismount thy tucke,
be yare in thy preparation, for thy assaylant is quick, skilfull,
and deadly
Vio. You mistake sir I am sure, no man hath any quarrell
to me: my remembrance is very free and cleere from
any image of offence done to any man
To. You'l finde it otherwise I assure you: therefore, if
you hold your life at any price, betake you to your gard:
for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill,
and wrath, can furnish man withall
Vio. I pray you sir what is he?
To. He is knight dubb'd with vnhatch'd Rapier, and
on carpet consideration, but he is a diuell in priuate brall,
soules and bodies hath he diuorc'd three, and his incensement
at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction
can be none, but by pangs of death and sepulcher: Hob,
nob, is his word: giu't or take't
Vio. I will returne againe into the house, and desire
some conduct of the Lady. I am no fighter, I haue heard
of some kinde of men, that put quarrells purposely on others,
to taste their valour: belike this is a man of that
quirke
To. Sir, no: his indignation deriues it selfe out of a very
computent iniurie, therefore get you on, and giue him
his desire. Backe you shall not to the house, vnlesse you
vndertake that with me, which with as much safetie you
might answer him: therefore on, or strippe your sword
starke naked: for meddle you must that's certain, or forsweare
to weare iron about you
Vio. This is as vnciuill as strange. I beseech you doe
me this courteous office, as to know of the Knight what
my offence to him is: it is something of my negligence,
nothing of my purpose
To. I will doe so. Signiour Fabian, stay you by this
Gentleman, till my returne.
Exit Toby.
Vio. Pray you sir, do you know of this matter?
Fab. I know the knight is incenst against you, euen to
a mortall arbitrement, but nothing of the circumstance
more
Vio. I beseech you what manner of man is he?
Fab. Nothing of that wonderfull promise to read him
by his forme, as you are like to finde him in the proofe of
his valour. He is indeede sir, the most skilfull, bloudy, &
fatall opposite that you could possibly haue found in anie
part of Illyria: will you walke towards him, I will make
your peace with him, if I can
Vio. I shall bee much bound to you for't: I am one,
that had rather go with sir Priest, then sir knight: I care
not who knowes so much of my mettle.
Exeunt.
Enter Toby and Andrew.
To. Why man hee s a verie diuell, I haue not seen such
a firago: I had a passe with him, rapier, scabberd, and all:
and he giues me the stucke in with such a mortall motion
that it is ineuitable: and on the answer, he payes you as
surely, as your feete hits the ground they step on. They
say, he has bin Fencer to the Sophy
And. Pox on't, Ile not meddle with him
To. I but he will not now be pacified,
Fabian can scarse hold him yonder
An. Plague on't, and I thought he had beene valiant,
and so cunning in Fence, I'de haue seene him damn'd ere
I'de haue challeng'd him. Let him let the matter slip, and
Ile giue him my horse, gray Capilet
To. Ile make the motion: stand heere, make a good
shew on't, this shall end without the perdition of soules,
marry Ile ride your horse as well as I ride you.
Enter Fabian and Viola.
I haue his horse to take vp the quarrell, I haue perswaded
him the youths a diuell
Fa. He is as horribly conceited of him: and pants, &
lookes pale, as if a Beare were at his heeles
To. There's no remedie sir, he will fight with you for's
oath sake: marrie hee hath better bethought him of his
quarrell, and hee findes that now scarse to bee worth talking
of: therefore draw for the supportance of his vowe,
he protests he will not hurt you
Vio. Pray God defend me: a little thing would make
me tell them how much I lacke of a man
Fab. Giue ground if you see him furious
To. Come sir Andrew, there's no remedie, the Gentleman
will for his honors sake haue one bowt with you:
he cannot by the Duello auoide it: but hee has promised
me, as he is a Gentleman and a Soldiour, he will not hurt
you. Come on, too't
And. Pray God he keepe his oath.
Enter Antonio.
Vio. I do assure you tis against my will
Ant. Put vp your sword: if this yong Gentleman
Haue done offence, I take the fault on me:
If you offend him, I for him defie you
To. You sir? Why, what are you?
Ant. One sir, that for his loue dares yet do more
Then you haue heard him brag to you he will
To. Nay, if you be an vndertaker, I am for you.
Enter Officers.
Fab. O good sir Toby hold: heere come the Officers
To. Ile be with you anon
Vio. Pray sir, put your sword vp if you please
And. Marry will I sir: and for that I promis'd you Ile
be as good as my word. Hee will beare you easily, and
raines well
1.Off. This is the man, do thy Office
2.Off. Anthonio, I arrest thee at the suit of Count Orsino
An. You do mistake me sir
1.Off. No sir, no iot: I know your fauour well:
Though now you haue no sea-cap on your head:
Take him away, he knowes I know him well
Ant. I must obey. This comes with seeking you:
But there's no remedie, I shall answer it:
What will you do: now my necessitie
Makes me to aske you for my purse. It greeues mee
Much more, for what I cannot do for you,
Then what befals my selfe: you stand amaz'd,
But be of comfort
2.Off. Come sir away
Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money
Vio. What money sir?
For the fayre kindnesse you haue shew'd me heere,
And part being prompted by your present trouble,
Out of my leane and low ability
Ile lend you something: my hauing is not much,
Ile make diuision of my present with you:
Hold, there's halfe my Coffer
Ant. Will you deny me now,
Ist possible that my deserts to you
Can lacke perswasion. Do not tempt my misery,
Least that it make me so vnsound a man
As to vpbraid you with those kindnesses
That I haue done for you
Vio. I know of none,
Nor know I you by voyce, or any feature:
I hate ingratitude more in a man,
Then lying, vainnesse, babling drunkennesse,
Or any taint of vice, whose strong corruption
Inhabites our fraile blood
Ant. Oh heauens themselues
2.Off. Come sir, I pray you go
Ant. Let me speake a little. This youth that you see heere,
I snatch'd one halfe out of the iawes of death,
Releeu'd him with such sanctitie of loue;
And to his image, which me thought did promise
Most venerable worth, did I deuotion