By Rail to Clod's Norton, to my old Country Friend MR. GILES the Farmer,
and with him to the Meeting and yearly Dinner of the North Gruntham
Agricultural Society at Grumbleton, at the Plantagenet Arms. A mighty
fine and great Dinner; and the Appetite of the Company droll to observe,
and hear MR. GILES declare that all the Farmers were starving. I did
mightily admire the Breadth and Bigness of the Countrymen, and their
round Faces like the Sign of the Rising Sun, but not so bright, for
though ruddy, looking glum. My LORD MOUNTBUSHEL in the Chair, very grand
and high and mighty, yet gently demeaning himself, and did pledge them
about him in Wine with an Obeisance the most stately I think that I did
ever see a Man, and wish I could do like him, and with Practice hope to
be able. The Dinner over, and the QUEEN drunk, and the Royal Family,
and also the Church and Army and Navy all drunk, the Chairman did
propose the Toast of the Evening, which was, Prosperity to the North
Gruntham Agricultural Society, and made a Speech, and did tell his
Hearers that they and the whole Farming Body were going to the Dogs as
fast as they could go; whereat, strange to hear them applaud mightily.
He ended his Speech by saying he hoped Gentlemen would that Evening,
according to Custom, keep clear of Politics, which Rule SQUIRE HAWEBUCKE
next rising to speak, did promise he would observe, and forthwith made a
violent Harangue against SIR ROBERT PEEL and MR. COBDEN. After him got
up MR. FLUMMERIE, and with great Action, and thumping the Table, spoke
for Half-an-Hour, with most brave Flourishes both of his Fists and of
Language. He did tell his Audience that they must be up and stirring,
and quit them like good Men and true, and did exhort them to rally round
the Altar and Throne, and nail their Colours to the Mast, and range
themselves under the Banner of Protection; which he did say was a Flag
that had braved 1,000 Years the Battle and the Breeze, and if so,
should, methinks, be by this time in Tatters. He did say that the
British Lion had been long asleep, but was now at last aroused, which do
seem a simple Saying, the British Lion being only a fabulous Beast, like
the Unicorn, also in the Royal Arms. But to hear how the Company did
cheer at this Mouthing, albeit it was the veriest Cant and Stuff; for,
good Lack! to think of the Monarchy and Church, and all Morals,
Religion, and Government, depending on the price of Wheat! After more
Speeches in the same Strain, the British Labourer his Health drunk, and
then the Prizes given out; and an old Man of 80, for bringing up a
Family without costing the Parish 1d. in 50 Years, did receive L1, and
others for honest Service nigh as long, a Jacket, a Smock Frock, or a
Pair of Hob-Nail Boots, in Reward of Merit. The Toasts and Speech-making
lasted till late, and then we broke up, the Farmers mighty merry, though
grumbling, but not more than their Wont, at the Laws and the Weather,
but their best Friends say, will have little to complain of either, if
they will but mind their Business, and turn seriously to improving their
Husbandry.
[Illustration: _APPEARANCE OF YE CRYMYNYAL COURTE DURING AN
"INTERESTYNG" TRYAL FOR MURDER._