To the old House in the Market, where I would fain have seen _Macbeth_,
for the Acting as well as the Divertisement; but this not the Night, so
went Half-Price, and did see the _Unpolished Gem_, instead. TOUCHSTONE
did play _Brother Dick_, a Country Clown, and his Figure, in a Coat
short in the Waist, a huge striped Waistcoat, Trousers too big for him
tucked up at the Ankles, Hob-Nail Boots, and a great ill-shaped Hat,
mighty droll, and did move the People to clap their Hands and laugh the
Moment he come on the Stage. Then did he take off his Hat, and show a
red-cropped Head, and smooth down his Hair, and make a Face upon the
Audience, whereat they did laugh again, and then turning round show them
a Back View of himself, which made them laugh the more. Still greater
Laughter the Moment he opened his Mouth, and I did laugh too, as much as
any, though I heard not what he said; but only for the Oddness of his
Voice, which is such that methinks I could not keep my Countenance to
hear him, even if he were speaking _Hamlet_. Mighty droll to see him in
a fine House make himself at Home after the Fashion of a Bumpkin, and
hear him in his rustical Drawl and Twang relate all the News and Tattle
of his Village. What with his clodhopping Gait, and Awkwardness, and
Independence, and Impudence, he did make, methinks, the veriest Lout I
did ever see, even in Hampshire. His politeness even droller than his
Rudeness, and his Ploughboy Courtesy of kissing his Hand as comical as
could be. But I know not well whether I do more prefer his Cocknies or
his Clowns; for methinks I have seen him do a Snob as well as a
Clodpole, and he is very good in both, whether a rustical Booby or a
Whippersnapper Spark; and do use V for W, and misuse or drop his H, and
talk the Flash and Cant of the Town mighty natural. But to think how we
English People do take Delight in everything that is ridiculous; and how
I have seen a Theatre ringing with Merriment at the Sight of TOUCHSTONE
in a Paper Cap and Apron, with a Baker's Tray, and a Bell, crying
"Muffins!" or eating with his Mouth full; or even putting his Arms
a-Kimbo, or pulling his Hat over his Eyes, and some of the Audience, and
myself too, in Fits almost with Laughter. Methinks that Foreigners are
wrong to suppose that we are a melancholy People, and would give up this
Notion if they could see us at a broad Farce, and how easily we are
pleased, and what Straws will tickle us almost to Death. Home, my Sides
aching by Reason of TOUCHSTONE'S Drolleries, and truly he do make a
mighty excellent roguish Buffoon. So to Bed mimicking TOUCHSTONE his
Voice to my Wife, which did divert her mightily.
[Illustration: _A PROSPECTE OF YE ZOOLOGICAL SOCIETYE ITS GARDENS.
FEEDYNGE YE BEASTS._