It came to be pretty generally known that all had not gone well with the
Colquhouns immediately after their marriage. Something of the story had of
necessity leaked out through the servants; but, as the Fraylings had the
precaution, common to their class, to keep their private troubles to
themselves, nobody knew precisely what the difficulty had been, and their
intimate friends, whom delicacy debarred from making inquiries, least of
all. Lady Adeline just mentioned the matter to Mrs. Orton Beg, and asked,
"Is it a difficulty that may be discussed?"
"No, better not, I think," the latter answered, and of course the subject
dropped.
But poor Lady Adeline was too much occupied with domestic anxieties of her
own at that time to feel more than a passing gleam of sympathetic interest
in other people's. As Lord Dawne had hinted to Mrs. Orton Beg, it was now
a question of how best to educate the twins. Their parents had made what
they considered suitable arrangements for their instruction; but the
children, unfortunately, were not satisfied with these. They had had a
governess in common while they were still quite small; but Mr.
Hamilton-Wells had old-fashioned ideas about the superior education of
boys, and consequently, when the children had outgrown their nursery
governess, he decided that Angelica should have another, more advanced;
and had at the same time engaged a tutor for Diavolo, sending him to
school being out of the question because of the fear of further trouble
from the artery he had severed. When this arrangement became known, the
children were seen to put their heads together.
"Do we like having different teachers?" Diavolo inquired tentatively.
"No, we don't," said Angelica.
Lady Adeline had tried to prepare the governess, but the latter brought no
experience of anything like Angelica to help her to understand that young
lady, and so the warning went for nothing. "A little affection goes a long
way with a child." she said to Lady Adeline, "and I always endeavour to
make my pupils understand that I care for them, and do not wish to make
their lessons a task, but a pleasure to them."
"It is a good system, I should think," Lady Adeline observed, speaking
dubiously, however.
"Can you do long division, my dear," the governess asked Angelica when
they sat down to lessons for the first time.
"No, Miss Apsley," Angelica answered sweetly.
"Then I will show you how. But you must attend, you know,"--this last was
said with playful authority.
So Angelica attended.
"How did you get on this morning?" Lady Adeline asked Miss Apsley
anxiously afterward.
"Oh, perfectly!" the latter answered. "The dear child was all interest and
endeavour."
Lady Adeline said no more; but such docility was unnatural, and she did
not like the look of it at all.
Next day Angelica, with an innocent air, gave Miss Apsley a long division
sum which she had completed during the night. It was done by an immense
number of figures, and covered four sheets of foolscap gummed together.
Miss Apsley worked at it for an hour to verify it, and, finding it quite
correct, she decided that Angelica knew long division enough, and must go
on to something else. Her first impression was that she had secured a
singularly apt pupil, and she was much surprised, when she began to teach
Angelica the next rule in arithmetic, to find that she could _not_
make the dear child see it. Angelica listened, and tried, with every
appearance of honest intention, getting red and hot with the effort; and
she would not put the slate down; she would go on trying till her head
ached, she was so eager to learn; but work as she might, she could do
nothing but long division. Miss Apsley said she had never known anything
so singular. Lady Adeline sighed.
For about a week, the twins "lay low."
The tutor had found it absolutely impossible to teach Diavolo anything.
The boy was perfectly docile. He would sit with his bright eyes riveted on
his master's face, listening with might and main apparently; but at the
end of every explanation the tutor found the same thing. Diavolo never had
the faintest idea of what he had been talking about.
At the end of a week, however, the children changed their tactics. When
lessons ought to have begun one morning Diavolo went to Miss Apsley, and
sat himself down beside her in Angelica's place, with a smiling
countenance and without a word of explanation; while Angelica presented
herself to the tutor with all Diavolo's books under her arm.
"Please, sir," she said, "there must have been some mistake. Diavolo and I
find that we were mixed somehow wrong, and I got his mind and he got mine.
I can do his lessons quite easily, but I can't do my own; and he can do
mine, but he can't do these"--holding up the books. "It's like this, you
see. I can't learn from a lady, and he can't learn from a man. So I'm
going to be your pupil, and he's going to be Miss Apsley's. You don't
understand twins, I expect. It's always awkward about them; there's so
often something wrong. With us, you know, the fact of the matter is that
_I_ am Diavolo and _he_ is me."
The tutor and governess appealed to Mr. Hamilton-Wells, and Mr.
Hamilton-Wells sent for the twins and lectured them, Lady Adeline sitting
by, seriously perplexed. The children stood to attention together, and
listened respectfully; and then went back to their lessons with
undeviating cheerfulness; but Diavolo did Angelica's, and Angelica did his
diligently, and none other would they do.
But this state of things could not continue, and in order to end it, Mr.
Hamilton-Wells had recourse to a weak expedient which he had more than
once successfully employed unknown to Lady Adeline. He sent for the twins,
and consulted their wishes privately.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"Well, sir," Diavolo answered, "we don't think it's fair for Angelica only
to have a beastly governess to teach her when she knows as much as I do,
and is a precious sight sharper."
"I taught you all you know, Diavolo, didn't I?" Angelica broke in.
"Yes," said Diavolo, with a wise nod.
"And it is beastly unfair," she continued, "to put me off with a squeaking
governess and long division, when I ought to be doing mathematics and
Latin and Greek."
"My dear child, what use would mathematics and Latin and Greek be to you?"
Mr. Hamilton-Wells protested.
"Just as much use as they will to Diavolo," she answered decidedly. "He
doesn't know half as much about the good of education as I do. Just ask
him." She whisked round on her brother as she spoke, and demanded: "Tell
papa, Diavolo, what _is_ the use of being educated?"
"I am sure I don't know," Diavolo answered impressively.
"My dear boy, mathematics are an education in themselves." Mr.
Hamilton-Wells began didactically, moving his long white hands in a way
that always suggested lace ruffles. "They will teach you to reason."
"Then they'll teach me to reason too," said Angelica, setting herself down
on the arm of a chair as if she had made up her mind, and intended to let
them know it. All her movements were quick, all Diavolo's deliberate. "Men
are always jeering at women in books for not being able to reason, and I'm
going to learn, if there's any help in mathematics," she continued. "I
found something the other day--where is it now?" She was down on her knees
in a moment, emptying the contents of her pocket on to the floor, and
sifting them. There were two pocket-handkerchiefs of fine texture, and
exceedingly dirty, as if they had been there for months (the one she used
she carried in the bosom of her dress or up her sleeve), a ball of string,
a catapult and some swan shot, a silver pen, a pencil holder, part of an
old song book, a pocket book, some tin tacks, a knife with several blades
and scissors, etc.; also a silver fruit knife, two coloured pencils,
indiarubber, and a scrap of dirty paper wrapped round a piece of almond
toffee. This was apparently what she wanted, for she took it off the
toffee, threw the latter into the grate--whither Diavolo's eyes followed
it regretfully--and spread the paper out on her lap, whence it was seen to
be covered with cabalistic-looking figures.
"Here you are," she said. "I copied it out of a book the other day, and
put it round the toffee because I knew I should be wanting that, and then
I should see it every time I took it out of my pocket, and not forget it."
"But why did you throw the toffee away?" said Diavolo.
"Shut up, and listen," Angelica rejoined from the floor politely; and then
she began to read: 'Histories make men wise; poets witty; mathematics
subtle; natural philosophy, deep, moral, grave; logic and rhetoric, able
to contend.' Now that's what I want, papa. I want to know all that, and
have a good time; and I expect I shall have to contend to get it!"
"You'll soon learn how," said Diavolo encouragingly.
Mr. Hamilton-Wells had always enjoyed his children's precocity, and,
provided they amused him, they could make him do anything. So after the
conference he announced that he had been questioning Angelica, and had
found that she really was too far advanced for a governess, and he had
therefore decided that she should share Diavolo's lessons with the tutor.
The governess accordingly disappeared from Hamilton House, the first tutor
found that he had no vocation for teaching, and left also, and another was
procured with great difficulty, and at considerable expense, for the fame
of the Heavenly Twins was wide-spread, and their parents were determined
besides not to let any candidate engage himself under the pleasing
delusion that the task of teaching them would be something of a sinecure.
The tutor they finally secured turned out to be a very good fellow,
fortunately; a gentleman, and with a keen sense of humour which the twins
appreciated, so that they took to him at once, and treated him pretty well
on the whole; but lessons were usually a lively time. Angelica, who
continued to be the taller, stronger, and wickeder of the two, soon proved
herself the cleverer also. Like Evadne, she was consumed by the rage to
know, and insisted upon dragging Diavolo on with her. It was interesting
to see them sitting side by side, the dark head touching the fair one as
they bent together intently over some problem. When Diavolo was not quick
enough, Angelica would rouse him up in the old way by knocking her head,
which was still the harder of the two, against his.
"Angelica, did I see you strike your brother?" Mr. Ellis sternly demanded,
the first time he witnessed this performance.
"I don't know whether you saw me or not, sir, but I certainly did strike
him," Angelica answered irritably.
"Why?"
"To wake him up."
"You see, sir," Diavolo proceeded to explain in his imperturbable drawl;
"Angelica discovered that I was born with a hee-red-it-air-ee
predisposition to be a muff. We mostly are on father's side of the
family--"
"And if he isn't one, it's because I slapped the tendency out of him as
soon as I perceived it," Angelica interrupted. "Get on, Diavolo, I've no
patience with you when you're so slow. You know you don't want to learn
this, and that's why you're snailing."
It was rather a trick of Diavolo's "to snail" over his lessons, for in
that as in many other things he was very unlike the good little boy who
loved his book, besides evincing many other traits of character equally
unpopular at the present time. Diavolo would not work unless Angelica made
him, and the worst collision with the tutor was upon this subject.
"Wake up, Theodore, will you!" Mr. Ellis said, during the first week of
their studies.
"Not until you call me Diavolo," was the bland response.
Mr. Ellis resisted for some time, but Diavolo was firm and would do
nothing, and Lady Adeline cautioned the tutor to give in if he saw an
opportunity of doing so with dignity.
"But the young scamp will be jeeringly triumphant if I do," Mr. Ellis
objected.
"Oh, no," Lady Adeline answered. "Diavolo prides himself upon being a
gentleman, and he says a gentleman never jeers or makes himself
unpleasant. His ideas on the latter point, by the way, are peculiarly his
own, and you will probably differ from him as to what is or is not
unpleasant."
Mr. Ellis made a point of calling the boy "Diavolo" in a casual way, as if
he had forgotten the dispute, as early as possible after this, and found
that Lady Adeline was right. Diavolo showed not the slightest sign of
having heard, but he got out his books at once, and did his lessons as if
he liked them.
Mr. Hamilton-Wells had a habit of always saying a little more than was
necessary on some subjects. He was either a born _naturalist_ or had
never conquered the problem of what not to say, and he was so incautious
as to come into the schoolroom one morning while lessons were going on,
and warn Mr. Ellis to be most careful about what he gave the twins to read
in Latin, because some of the classic delicacies which boys are expected
to swallow without injury to themselves are much too highly seasoned for a
young lady; "You must make judicious excerpts," he said.
Slap came the dictionary down upon the table, and Angelica was deep in the
"ex's" in a moment. Excerpt, she found, was to pick or take out. She
passed the dictionary to Diavolo, who studied the definition; but neither
of them made a remark. From that day forth, however, they spent every
spare moment they had in poring over Latin text-books, until they mastered
the language, simply for the purpose of finding out what it was that
Angelica ought not to know.
There were, as has already been stated, some lively scenes at lessons.
"Talk less and do more," Mr. Ellis rashly recommended in the early days of
their acquaintance, and after that, when they disagreed, they claimed that
they had his authority to settle the difference by tearing each other's
hair or scratching each other across the table; and when he interfered,
sometimes they scratched him too. Mr. Hamilton-Wells raised his salary
eventually.
The children invariably had a discussion about everything as soon as it
was over. They called it "talking it out"; and after they had sinned and
suffered punishment, their great delight was to come and coax the tutor
"to talk it out." They would then criticize their own conduct and his,
impartially, point out what they might have done, and what he might have
done, and what ought to have been done on both sides.
These discussions usually took place at the schoolroom tea, a meal which
both tutor and children as a rule thoroughly enjoyed. Mr. Ellis was not
bound to have tea with the twins, but they had politely invited him on the
day of his arrival, explaining that their parents were out, and it would
give them great pleasure to entertain him.
Tea being ready, they took him to the schoolroom, where he found a square
table, just large enough for four, daintily decorated with flowers, and
very nice china.
"We have to buy our own china, because we break so much," Angelica said,
seeing that the tutor noticed it. "That was the kind of thing papa got for
us"--indicating a hugely thick white cup and saucer, which stood on the
mantelpiece on a stand of royal blue plush, and covered with a glass
shade.
"We broke the others, but we had that one mounted as a warning to him.
Papa has no taste at all."
The tutor's face was a study. It was the first of these remarks he had
heard.
The children decided that it would balance the table better if he poured
out the tea, and he good-naturedly acquiesced, and sat down with Angelica
on his right, and Diavolo on his left. The fourth seat opposite was
unoccupied, but there was a cover laid, and he asked who was expected.
"Oh, that is for the Peace Angel," said Diavolo casually.
"Prevents difficulties at tea, you know," Angelica supplemented.
"_We_ don't mind difficulties, but we thought you might object, so we
asked his holiness"--indicating the empty chair--"to preserve order."
Mr. Ellis did not at first appreciate the boon which was conferred on him
by the presence of the Peace Angel, but he soon learnt to.
"I am on my honour and thick bread and butter to-day," said Diavolo,
looking longingly at the plentiful supply and variety of cakes on the
table.
"What does that mean exactly?" Mr. Ellis asked, pausing with the teapot
raised to pour.
"Why, you see, he was naughty this morning," Angelica explained. "And as
mamma was going out, she put him on his honour, as a punishment, not to
eat cake."
"I've a good mind not to eat anything," said Diavolo, considering the
plate of thick bread and butter beside him discontentedly.
"Then you'll be cutting off your nose to vex your face," said Angelica.
Diavolo caught up a piece of bread and butter to throw at her; but she
held up her hand, crying: "I appeal to the Peace Angel!"
"I forgot," said Diavolo, transferring the bread to his plate.
The children studied the tutor during tea.
He was a man of thirty, somewhat careworn about the eyes, but with an
excessively kind and pleasant face, clean shaven; and thick, reddy-brown
hair. He was above the middle height, a little stooped at the shoulders,
but of average strength.
"I like the look of you," said Angelica frankly.
"Thank you," he answered, smiling.
"And I vote for a permanent arrangement," she said, looking at Diavolo.
He was just then hidden behind a huge slice of bread, biting it, but he
nodded intelligently.
The permanent arrangement referred to was to have the tutor to tea, and he
agreed, wisely stipulating, however, that the presence of the Peace Angel
should also be permanent. He even tried to persuade the twins to invite
him to lessons; but that they firmly declined.
"You'll like being our tutor, I think," Diavolo observed during this first
tea.
"He will if we like him," said Angelica significantly.
"Are we going to?" Diavolo asked.
"Yes, I think so," she answered, taking another good look at Mr. Ellis. "I
like the look of that red in his hair."
"Now, isn't that a woman's reason?" Diavolo exclaimed, appealing to Mr.
Ellis.
"Yes, it is," said Angelica, preparing to defend it by shuffling a
note-book out of her pocket, and ruffling the leaves over: "Listen to
this"--and she read--"'A tinge of red in the hair denotes strength and
energy of character and good staying power.' We don't want a muff for a
tutor, do we? There are born muffs enough in the family without importing
them. And a woman's reason is always a good one, as men might see if
they'd only stop chattering and listen to it."
"It mayn't be well expressed, but it will bear examination," Mr. Ellis
suggested.
"Do you like being a tutor?" Diavolo.
"It depends on whom I have to teach."
"If you're a good fellow, you'll have a nice time here--on the whole--I
hope, sir," Angelica observed. "But why are you a tutor?"
"To earn my living," Mr. Ellis answered, smiling again.
The children remembered this, and when they were having tea under the
shadow of the supposititious Peace Angel's wing, after the first occasion
on which, when the tutor tried to separate them during a fight at lessons,
they had turned simultaneously and attacked him, they made it the text of
some recommendations. He expressed a strong objection to having manual
labour imposed upon him as well as his other work: but they maintained
that if only he had called the affray "a struggle for daily bread" or "a
fight for a livelihood," he would quite have enjoyed it; and they further
suggested that such diversion must be much more interesting than being a
mere commonplace tutor who only taught lessons. They could not understand
why a fight was not as much fun for him as for them, and thought him
unreasonable when they found he was not to be persuaded to countenance
that way of varying the monotony. Not that there was ever much monotony in
the neighbourhood of the Heavenly Twins; they managed to introduce variety
into everything, and their quickness of action, when both were roused, was
phenomenal. One day while at work they saw a sparrow pick up a piece of
bread, take it to the roof-tree of an angle of the house visible from the
schoolroom window, drop it, and chase it as it fell; and the twins had
made a bet as to which would beat, bird or bread, quarrelled because they
could not agree as to which had bet on bird and which on bread, and boxed
each other's ears almost before the race was over.
Mr. Ellis, although continually upon his guard, was not by any means
always a match for them. Over and over again he found that his caution had
been fanned to sleep by flattering attentions, while traps were being laid
for him with the most innocent air in the world, as on one occasion when
Diavolo betrayed him into a dissertation on the consistency of the
Scriptures, and Angelica asked him to kindly show her how to reconcile
Prov. viii. 2: "For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that
may be desired are not be compared to it," with Eccles. i. 18: "For in
much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth
sorrow."
His way with them was admirable, however, and he completely won their
hearts. The thing that they respected him for most was the fact that he
took in _Punch_ on his own account, and could show you a lot of
things in it that you could never have discovered yourself, as Angelica
said, and read bits in a way that made them seem ever so much funnier than
when _you_ read them; and could tell you who drew the pictures the
moment he looked at them--so that "_Punch_ Day" came to be looked
forward to by the children as one of the pleasantest events of the week.
Lessons were suspended the moment the paper arrived, if they had been good;
but when they were naughty Mr. Ellis put the paper in his pocket, and
that was the greatest punishment he could inflict upon them--the only one
that ever made them sulk. They would be good for hours in advance to earn
the right of having _Punch_ shown to them the moment it came. And it
was certainly by means of his intelligent interpretation of it that their
tutor managed to cultivate their tastes in many ways, and give them true
ideas of art, and the importance of art, at the outset, and also of
ethics. He was as careful of Angelica's physical as of her mental
education, being himself strongly imbued by the then new idea that a woman
should have the full use of her limbs, lungs, heart, and every other organ
and muscle, so that life might be a pleasure to her and not a continual
exertion. He had a strong objection to the artificial waist, and impressed
the beauty of Tenniel's classical purity of figure upon the children by
teaching them to appreciate the contrast it presents to the bulging
vulgarities made manifest by Keene; and showed them also that while Du
Maurier depicted with admirable artistic interpretation the refined
surroundings and attenuated forms of women as they are, Linley Sambourne,
that master of lovely line, pointed the moral by drawing women as they
should be. There was nothing conventional about the Heavenly Twins, and it
was therefore easy to make a good impression upon them in this direction,
and, the tutor soon had a practical proof of his success which must have
been eminently satisfactory if a trifle embarrassing.
The children were out on the lawn in front of the house one afternoon when
a lady arrived to call upon their mother. They were struck by her
appearance as she descended from her carriage, and followed her into the
drawing room to have a good look at her. She was one of those heroic women
who have the constancy to squeeze their figures in beyond the Y shape,
which is the commonest deformity, to that of the hourglass which bulges
out more above and below the line of compression.
There were a good many other people in the room, whom the Heavenly Twins
saluted politely; and then they sat down opposite to the object of their
interest and gazed at her.
"Why are you tied so tight in the middle?" Angelica asked at last in a
voice that silenced everybody else in the room. "Doesn't it hurt? I mean
to have a _good_ figure when I grow up, like the Venus de Medici, you
know. I can show you a picture of her, if you like. She hasn't a stitch on
her."
"She looks awfully nice, though," said Diavolo, "and Angelica thinks she'd
be able to eat more with that kind of figure."
"Yes," Angelica candidly confessed, looking at her victim compassionately.
"I shouldn't think, now, that you can eat both pudding and meat, can you?"
"Not to mention dessert!" Diavolo ejaculated with genuine concern.
"Mr. Ellis, will you get those children out of the room, somehow," Lady
Adeline whispered to the tutor, who had come in for tea.
"Is it true, do you think," Mr. Ellis began loudly, addressing Mr.
Hamilton-Wells across the room--"Is it true that Dr. Galbraith is going to
try some horrible experiments in vivisection this afternoon?"
"What is vivisection?" asked Angelica, diverted.
"Cutting up live animals to find out what makes them go," said the tutor.
In three minutes there wasn't a vestige of the Heavenly Twins about the
place.