"Dodo, I am going to tell you what I have never told anyone before, and
that is the story of my marriage. I know the current version very well,
that I married a brute who neglected me. That he neglected me is true,
but that is not all. Like you, I married without love, without even
liking. There were reasons for it, which I need not trouble you with.
I used to see a good deal of a man with whom I was in love, when I
married Mr. Vivian. He interested me and made my life more bearable. My
husband grew jealous of him, almost directly after my marriage. I saw
it, and, God forgive me, it amused me, and I let it go on--in fact, I
encouraged it. That was my mistake, and I paid dearly for it. I believe
he loved me at first; it was my fault that he did not continue to do
so. Then my baby was born, and, a month afterwards, somehow or other
we quarrelled, and he said things to me which no woman ever forgets.
He said it was not his child. I never forgot it, and it is a very
short time ago that I forgave it. For two years after his death, as
you know, I travelled abroad, and I fought against it, and I believe,
before God, that I have forgiven him. Then I came back to London. But
after that day when he said those things to me, we grew further and
further apart. I interested myself in other things, in the poor, and so
on, and he took to drinking. That killed him. He was run over in the
street, as he came back from somewhere where he had been dining. But he
was run over because he was dead drunk at the time. When I was abroad I
came under the influence of a certain Roman Catholic priest. He did not
convert me, nor did he try to, but he helped me very much; and one day,
I remember the day very well, I was almost in despair, because I could
not forgive the wrong my dead husband had done me, somehow a change
began in me. I can tell you no more than that a change comes, and it
is there. It is the grace of God. There, Dodo, that is my history, and
there is this you may learn from it, that you must be on your guard
against making a mistake. You must never let Chesterford know how wide
the gulf is between you. It will be a constant effort, I know, but it
is all you can do. Set a watch on yourself; let your indifference be
your safeguard, your warning."
Mrs. Vivian stood up. Her eyes were full of tears, and she laid her
hands on Dodo's shoulders. Dodo felt comfort in the presence of this
strong woman, who had wrestled and conquered.
Dodo looked affectionately at her, and, with one of those pretty
motions that came so naturally to her, she pressed her back into her
chair, and knelt beside her.
"Dear Vivy," she said, "my little troubles have made you cry. I am so
sorry, dear. You are very good to me. But I want to ask you one thing.
About that man your husband was jealous of--"
"No, no," said Mrs. Vivian quickly; "that was only one of the incidents
which I had to tell you to make the story intelligible."
Dodo hesitated.
"You are sure you aren't thinking of anyone in my case--of Jack, for
instance?" she suddenly said.