NOVEL YACHTING EXPEDITION. UNIQUE CHANCE.--A Gentleman of marked nautical
proclivities, who has lately, through the demise of a great-uncle, come
into the possession of a Penny Steamer in a very fair condition of repair,
is anxious to meet with one or two persons of similar tastes who would be
disposed to start with him on a Summer Tour, for the purpose of leisurely
navigating the vessel, in a tentative fashion, round the British Isles. As
he would not take a Pilot with him, but proposes when in doubt either to
ask his way from the nearest Coastguard by signal, or run in shore and get
out and walk, he thinks the voyage would not be without excitement and
variety, and would be likely to afford some novel seafaring experience to
the naval amateur in search of pleasing adventure. The course, as at
present mapped out, would be from Putney Bridge to Margate, Plymouth,
Holyhead, Skye, Aberdeen, by the German Ocean past Hull, Yarmouth,
Clacton-on-Sea, Southend, back again, finishing the journey at Battersea
Reach, but it would probably be varied by wind and weather, the exigences
of which would naturally have to be taken into account. The crew will
consist of three experienced Channel stewards, a bargee, a retired pirate,
and a cabin-boy, and will be under the command of the advertiser, who,
though fresh to the work, has little doubt but that, with a friendly hint
or two from his fellow-yachtsmen, he will be able to manage it. N.B.--Each
Passenger provided with a Royal Humane Society's drag. For all further
particulars apply to "PORT-ADMIRAL," 117, Rope Walk, Chelsea, S.W.
* * * * *
EXCEPTIONAL PSYCHOLOGICAL OPPORTUNITY. HAUNTED CASTLE TO LET.--A Baronet,
in the North of England, who can himself stand residence in it no longer,
is anxious to meet with a suitable Tenant for his Family Mansion likely to
appreciate the mysterious horrors with which, owing to the crimes of his
ancestors in times past, it is now nightly associated. The chief
manifestation consists in the appearance, after midnight, in an
oak-panelled bedroom, of a huge black wolf, accompanied by a little old man
in a bag-wig and faded blue velvet coat, who, looking sadly at the
occupant, and saying, in a mournful voice, "I've lost my return-ticket!"
vanishes suddenly, together with his swarthy companion, into the
linen-cupboard. As this apparition is frequently followed by the sound as
of a man in a complete suit of armour falling head-over-heels down six
flights of stairs, and ultimately, amidst prolonged and piercing shrieks,
apparently lodging in the coal-cellar, a member of the Society for
Promoting Psychical Research could not fail to find the whole experience a
singularly pleasing one. Several people having already been frightened into
fits through passing a night in the castle, a practical joker, who wished
to have a little fun at the expense of an aged and invalid relative or two,
could not do better than ask them down for a week, and let them take turns
at sleeping in the bedroom in question. Address, "BARONET," Goblynhurst,
Howlover.
* * * * *
TIGER-SHOOTING AT HOME. PRIME SPORT WITH BIG GAME.--A Country Clergyman,
who, having taken charge of a Menagerie for an invalid friend, has had the
misfortune to let nearly the whole of it escape and get loose in his
parish, would be glad to have the assistance of several Sportsmen of wide
Indian and African experience, who would be willing to join him in an
effort either to kill, or, if possible, recapture it at the very earliest
opportunity. Though the Advertiser has succeeded in temporarily securing
three lions, a chimpanzee, a couple of hyænas, and a young hippopotamus in
the Vicarage drawing-room, and has managed to envelope a boa-constrictor in
a lawn-tennis net, yet, as five full-grown Bengal tigers, and about thirty
other wild beasts of a miscellaneous character are at large in the village,
and have, to his knowledge, already devoured the Postman, the Curate, a
School Inspector, and both the horses of the Local Railway Omnibus, he
feels that no time ought to be lost in replying to his appeal. One or two
Experts, armed with Hotchkiss Guns, would be of use, and might write. Would
be glad to hear from a Battery of Horse Artillery. Address, The VICAR, High
Roaring, Notts.
* * * * *
AERIAL VOYAGE. ADVANTAGEOUS EXPERIMENT FOR THE SHORT-SIGHTED.--A Gentleman
who has long been suffering from a chronic affection of the eyes, and has
been recommended by his medical adviser to try the stimulating effect of
mountain air, having conceived the idea of procuring it for himself by
making an ascent in a second-hand and slightly damaged balloon that he has
purchased for the purpose, will be glad to hear from one or two thoroughly
skilled and experienced Aëronauts similarly afflicted, who would regard the
beneficent results of being able to accompany him as an equivalent for the
professional services they might render to the carrying out of the
undertaking. As the Advertiser's idea is to start from some convenient
Gas-Works in the Midland Counties, and keep a steady northward course by
holding on, before the wind, with a line and grappling-hook to the system
of telegraphic wires running alongside one of the great central railways,
and as he proposes merely stopping occasionally _en route_ to unroof the
house of some local medical man when any of the party are in need of
advice, he confidently anticipates that the trip will not be devoid of
novel and exciting features that will invest it with a distinctively fresh
and exhilarating character. For full and further particulars of the
enterprise, which have been carefully thought out, apply, by letter, to "IN
NUBIBUS," Uppingham Lodge, Mount-Rising, Ayrshire.
* * * * *
THREE THOUSAND BLAZING ACRES TO LET.--A Scotch Laird, who has, by some
accident in celebrating Her Majesty's Jubilee, managed to set fire to his
entire property, the whole of which, after smouldering for a season, has
since burst into a violent conflagration, which he can neither diminish nor
control, would be willing to let it at a comparatively low rental to a
London Sportsman sufficient novice in grouse-shooting not to be surprised
at picking up his birds already roasted in the heather. As at the end of a
day's trudging in the blinding heat of a Sahara through smoking covers,
accompanied by a powerful steam fire-engine, he will probably discover that
he has only succeeded in making a bag consisting of one singed "cheeper,"
the "shooting" is likely to prove more attractive to the amateur unfamiliar
with the rifle, but accustomed to the tropical heat of a Central African
Summer, than satisfactory to a professional marksman counting on
dispatching from a breezy moorland fifty brace or so to his relatives and
friends.--For terms, &c., apply to THE MAC SALAMANDER, Flaimhaugh, Glen
Blayse, N.B.
* * * * *
By a Canterbury Belle.
(_Song at the End of the great Cricket Week._)
Fine weather, fair cricket, the bold "Men of Kent"
To flirt and bet gloves--thirty pairs are my winnings!--
Why, yes, on the whole I'm extremely content;
'Tis the nicest of _outings_ to witness such _innings_.
_Chorus_--A Cricketer _should_ be an excellent match
Because he is certain to be "a good catch."
* * * * *
[Illustration: SNAP-SHOTS FOR THE TWELFTH.
An Extended Tract of Moor.
A Second Laying.