_The Precious Pipe._--Napoleon greatly patronized the habit of smoking in
the French army, so that it soon became actually indispensable for the
continuance of that _gaite du coeur_, for which his troops were
remarkable, even in the moments of severest peril. Under the cheering
influence of the pipe, they surmounted all difficulties; and, under its
consoling power, bore fatigue, and hunger, and thirst with a fortitude and
philosophy, remarkable in the annals of military record. During the latter
end of their march to Moscow, and after the burning of the Russian
capital, they endured severe privations from the loss of their favourite
herb, the stock of which was all expended: nor was this all; they suffered
exceedingly through want of food and the inclemency of the weather, with
many other evils, the smoking of tobacco had hitherto consoled them for.
Such was the general state of the army, when a private of the _Garde
Imperiale_, being out with a detachment on a foraging party, chanced to
stray from the rest, and, in the skirt of a wood, came upon a little low
deserted hut. Overjoyed in the hopes that he might find something to
relieve his necessities, he stove in the door with the butt end of his
musquet, and instantly commenced a scrutiny, to see if anything had been
left behind by those who had evidently lately quitted it. The few articles
of comfort it had formerly contained seemed, however, all to have been
carried away in the flight of its late inmates, and he was about
abandoning his search, when he perceived something stuffed up between the
rafters of the ceiling. Thrusting it with his bayonet, a dark bundle fell
at his feet: his joy may be better imagined than expressed, when, on
untying the rag that bound it, he found a quantity of coarse tobacco.
After filling his pouch with it, and stowing the rest of the (to him)
invaluable treasure about his person, he pulled forth a short clay pipe,
whose late empty bowl he had so often contemplated with melancholy regret,
and, having struck a light, filled it with his darling herb, and commenced
smoking immediately. "Never," said the soldier, who himself narrated the
tale to us in Paris, "since the campaign began, when we started with the
certainty, almost, of returning with plunder to enrich the rest of our
lives, did I feel half the pleasurable emotions I did, the hour I spent,
sitting in the darkened room of that hut, whiffing the grateful fumes from
my short pipe. Indulging in visions that for a long time had been a
stranger to me, the much-boasted pleasures of the opium eaters, were
nothing in comparison to mine.--I seemed in heaven, sir."
After having regained the camp, it soon became a subject of remark and
discussion, how Faucin (the soldier's name) got his tobacco to smoke, and
looked so cheerful, when his comrades would have given all they were worth
for the same luxury. Knowing his extreme danger if it should be discovered
he had any quantity of tobacco in his possession, he took every
opportunity, when questioned, as he often was closely on the subject, to
state that it was only a trifling remnant he had preserved. Under this
pretence, he refused the numerous applications that were made him for
portions, however small. At length, as his short pipe was still perceived
week after week, emitting its savoury steam, on their toilsome march
homewards, it was generally suspected, and he was openly told, he had
plenty of tobacco in his knapsack, and he was threatened, in case of his
refusal to divide a share. Firmly believing he should be robbed, if not
murdered, by some of his comrades, who watched him with selfish eyes for
the sake of the tobacco he carried, he was obliged by prudence to confess
the secret to two corporals and a serjeant, and divide a quantity among
them. While their line of march was daily and nightly strewed with the
dead and dying, and many a gallant fellow breathed his last on the cold
beds of snow, they were wonderfully sustained by the tobacco, that kept up
their spirits throughout the scene of famine and desolation, and he
reached France with the few wretched remnants of the fine troops, who had
quitted it with the eagle's flight, amid the shouts of _vive Napoleon_.
_An old Quiddist._--A late messenger in a certain public law-office had
rendered himself remarkable for the very excellent economy he pursued in
the consumption of tobacco. In term time he had always plenty to do, and
picked up a sufficient sum to supply the deficiency of business in the
short vacations, which enabled him to obtain as much shag as he could well
chew at those times, but he never lost sight of the 'rainy day.' He
frequently got drunk but never forgot the miseries of the 'LONG VACATION,'
and accordingly acted upon the following plan, which, for its genius, has
never been equalled in the annals of chawing:--He would begin, for
instance, the first day of Michaelmas term, which succeeds the long
vacation, with a NEW QUID, which he would keep only about half the usual
time in his mouth, and extract only a portion of its nectarine sweets.
This quid, instead of casting it at his feet, he would then transfer to a
certain snug little shelf in the office, with the most reverential
caution, and obtain another. This practice he would repeat five or six
times in the course of the same day, and every day during the times before
mentioned, and what was the result? When the long vacation commenced, and
he had nothing to do, he had collected the amazing quantity of between 14
and 1500 quids!!! These he worked upon, _de novo_, during the long recess,
and 'rich and rare' indeed was the collection; it was the poor messenger's
only comfort.
_Dr. Aldrich._--His excessive love for smoking was well known to his
associates; but a young student of his college, finding some difficulty
to bring a fellow collegian to the belief of it, laid him a wager that the
Dean Aldrich was smoking at that time (about ten o'clock in the morning).
Away went the latter to the deanery; when, being admitted to the dean in
his study, he related the occasion of his visit. The dean, instead of
being disconcerted, replied in perfect good humour, "You see, sir, your
friend has lost his wager, for I am not now smoking, but only filling my
pipe!"
_Chinese Arrogance._--As a precursor to the following, it will only be
proper to relate, that in China the use of smoking and snuff-taking is
general, although buildings are not thought requisite for curing tobacco,
as in the West Indies, there being little apprehension of rain to injure
the leaves when plucked. Thus the Chinese grow tobacco enough for their
own consumption, and will not allow any to be imported, so as to
discourage their own cultivation. This prohibition, which has long existed
in that country, was some years ago notified to Mr. Wilkodes, the American
consul, then at Canton, in the following manner:
"May he be promoted to great powers! We acquaint you that the foreign
opium, the dirt which is used for smoking, is prohibited by command. It
is not permitted that it shall come to Canton. We beg you, good brother,
to inform the honoured president of your country of the circumstance, and
to make it known, that the dirt used for smoking is an article prohibited
in the celestial empire."--_Paunkbyquia Mowqua, &c. Kai Hing, 22nd year,
5th Month, 22nd day, Canton, May 22nd, 1818._
_Sir Isaac Newton._--This illustrious individual was remarkable for
smoking and temporary fits of mental abstraction from all around him;
frequently being seized with them in the midst of company. Upon one
occasion, it is related of him, that a young lady presenting her hand for
something across the table, he seized her finger, and, quite
unconsciously, commenced applying it as a tobacco-stopper, until awoke to
a sense of his enormity by the screams of the fair one.
_Extraordinary Match._--Some years ago, in a public room at Langdon Hills,
in Essex, the conversation chancing to turn on smoking, a farmer of the
name of _Williams_ boasting of the great quantity of tobacco he could
consume at a sitting, challenged the room to produce his equal. Mr.
_Bowtell_, the proprietor of the great boot-shop, Skinner-street, and
remarkable for smoking "pipes beyond computation," travelling his round at
that time, chanced to be present, and immediately agreed to enter the
lists with him for five pounds a-side. A canister of the strongest shag
tobacco was placed by the side of each at eight o'clock in the evening,
when they began the match. Smoking very fast, by the time the clock had
struck twelve, they had each finished sixteen pipes, when the farmer,
through the dense atmosphere, was observed to turn pale. He still
continued, however, dauntlessly on, but, at the end of the eighteenth
pipe, fell stupefied off his chair, when the victory was adjudged to his
opponent, who, calling for an extra glass of grog, actually finished his
twentieth pipe before he retired for the night!