Among the Smart Setters now present at Saratoga is John J.
Sousebuilder, the well-known millionaire from Cincinnati. He is
here to follow the races but he seems to have an idea that the
horses live in the hotel bar-room, because that is where he does
most of his following.
Cornelius Sudslifter, the well-known inventor of the patent
chowless chow chow, is paying deep attention to Esmeralda
Ganderface, the brilliant daughter of old man Tightfist Ganderface,
the millionaire inventor of a system of opening clams by steam.
Cornelius and Esmeralda make a sweet and beautiful picture as they
stroll arm in arm to the post-office, where Cornelius mails a check
for the week's alimony to his former wife, who is visiting lawyers
in South Dakota.
Hector J. Roobernik, well known in Society, is spending the summer
at Atlantic City. Hector was formerly a Bohemian glass blower, but
he is now rich enough to leave off the last part of his occupation,
so he calls himself just a Bohemian--which is different. Hector is
paying deep attention to Phyllis Kurdsheimer, the daughter of Mike
Kurdsheimer, the millionaire inventor of the slippery elm shoe horn.
Gus Beanhoister, the widely known bunion broker and Society man of
South Newark, is summering at Cape May, where he mingles with the
other pets of fashion. Gus finds it very hard to refrain from
looking at people's feet during the bathing hours, but otherwise he
is doing quite well.
Hank Schmitpickle and his latest wife from Chicago sailed on the
steamship _Minnehaha_ last week to spend the season in the British
capital. The Schmitpickles will occupy the villa at No. 714
Cottagecheese Place, Blitheringham Park, near Speakeasy Towers, on
the Old Kent Road, Bayswater, across from Shoreditch--God save the
King!
Mercedes Cauliflower is summering at Narragansett Pier, and her
_fiance_, Mr. Peter Cuckoobird, is dancing attendance upon her. It
will be remembered that Mercedes is the daughter and heiress of
Jacob Cauliflower, the millionaire manufacturer of boneless tripe,
which has become quite a fad in Society since the Beef Trust got
chesty. Peter Cuckoobird is a rising young brick-layer on his
father's side, but on account of the fortune left him by his
mother, he is now butterflying through life in a gasolene barouche
with diamond settings in the tires.
Hank Dobbs and his daughter, Crystaline, sailed on the Oceanic
yesterday for the Riviera. Before the steamship pulled out Hank
admitted that he didn't know whether the Riviera was a city or a
new kind of cheese, but if money could do the trick he intended to
know the truth.
Mr. and Mrs. James Shine von Shine were divorced yesterday at the
home of the bride's parents in Newport. The ceremony was very
simple but expensive to the ex-husband. Considerable alimony
changed hands.
The private cottage of Mrs. Offulrich Swellswell at Bar Harbor has
been beautifully decorated in honor of the approaching divorce of
their daughter, Gladys, from her husband, Percy Skiddoo. Percy is
the well-known manufacturer of the reversible two-step so much used
by Society.
Cards are all out for a divorce in the family of the Von Guzzles,
but owing to a typographical error in the cards it is impossible to
say whether it is the old man or the son. Both employ blonde
typewriters.