Produced by Mary Munarin and David Widger
[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the
file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an
entire meal of them. D.W.]
THE CONFESSIONS OF HARRY LORREQUER, Vol. 3
[By Charles James Lever (1806-1872)]
Dublin
MDCCCXXXIX.
Volume 3. (Chapter XVIII-XXIII)
Contents:
CHAPTER XVIII
Detachment Duty--An Assize Town
CHAPTER XIX
The Assize Town
CHAPTER XX
A Day in Dublin
CHAPTER XXI
A Night at Howth
CHAPTER XXII
The Journey
CHAPTER XXIII
Calais
CHAPTER XVIII.
DETACHMENT DUTY--AN ASSIZE TOWN.
As there appeared to be but little prospect of poor Fitzgerald ever
requiring any explanation from me as to the events of that morning, for
he feared to venture from his room, lest he might be recognised and
prosecuted for abduction, I thought it better to keep my own secret also;
and it was therefore with a feeling of any thing but regret, that I
received an order which, under other circumstances, would have rendered
me miserable--to march on detachment duty. To any one at all conversant
with the life we lead in the army, I need not say how unpleasant such a
change usually is. To surrender your capital mess, with all its
well-appointed equipments--your jovial brother officers--hourly
flirtations with the whole female population--never a deficient one in a
garrison town--not to speak of your matches at trotting, coursing, and
pigeon-shooting, and a hundred other delectable modes of getting over
the ground through life, till it please your ungrateful country and the
Horse Guards to make you a major-general--to surrender all these, I say,
for the noise, dust, and damp disagreeables of a country inn, with bacon
to eat, whiskey to drink, and the priest, or the constabulary chief, to
get drunk with--I speak of Ireland here--and your only affair, par
amours, being the occasional ogling of the apothecary's daughter
opposite, as often as she visits the shop, in the soi disant occupation
of measuring out garden seeds and senna. These are indeed, the
exchanges with a difference, for which there is no compensation; and,
for my own part, I never went upon such duty, that I did not exclaim
with the honest Irishman, when the mail went over him, "Oh, Lord! what
is this for?"--firmly believing that in the earthly purgatory of such
duties, I was reaping the heavy retribution attendant on past offences.
Besides, from being rather a crack man in my corps, I thought it somewhat
hard that my turn for such duty should come round about twice as often as
that of my brother officers; but so it is--I never knew a fellow a little
smarter than his neighbours, that was not pounced upon by his colonel for
a victim. Now, however, I looked at these matters in a very different
light. To leave head-quarters was to escape being questioned; while
there was scarcely any post to which I could be sent, where something
strange or adventurous might not turn up, and serve me to erase the
memory of the past, and turn the attention of my companions in any
quarter rather than towards myself.
My orders on the present occasion were to march to Clonmel; from whence I
was to proceed a short distance to the house of a magistrate, upon whose
information, transmitted to the Chief Secretary, the present assistance
of a military party had been obtained; and not without every appearance
of reason. The assizes of the town were about to be held, and many
capital offences stood for trial in the calendar; and as it was strongly
rumoured that, in the event of certain convictions being obtained, a
rescue would be attempted, a general attack upon the town seemed a too
natural consequence; and if so, the house of so obnoxious a person as him
I have alluded to, would be equally certain of being assailed. Such, at
least, is too frequently the history of such scenes, beginning with no
one definite object: sometimes a slight one--more ample views and wider
conceptions of mischief follow; and what has begun in a drunken riot--a
casual rencontre--may terminate in the slaughter of a family, or the
burning of a village. The finest peasantry--God bless them--are a vif
people, and quicker at taking a hint than most others, and have, withal,
a natural taste for fighting, that no acquired habits of other nations
can pretend to vie with.
As the worthy person to whose house I was now about to proceed was, and
if I am rightly informed is, rather a remarkable character in the local
history of Irish politics, I may as well say a few words concerning him.
Mr. Joseph Larkins, Esq.--(for so he signed himself)--had only been
lately elevated to the bench of magistrates. He was originally one of
that large but intelligent class called in Ireland "small farmers;"
remarkable chiefly for a considerable tact in driving hard bargains--a
great skill in wethers--a rather national dislike to pay all species of
imposts, whether partaking of the nature of tax, tithe, grand jury cess,
or any thing of that nature whatsoever. So very accountable--I had
almost said, (for I have been long quartered in Ireland,) so very
laudable a propensity, excited but little of surprise or astonishment
in his neighbours, the majority of whom entertained very similar views
--none, however, possessing any thing like the able and lawyer-like
ability of the worthy Larkins, for the successful evasion of these
inroads upon the liberty of the subject. Such, in fact, was his talent,
and so great his success in this respect, that he had established what,
if it did not actually amount to a statute of exemption in law, served
equally well in reality; and for several years he enjoyed a perfect
immunity on the subject of money-paying in general. His "little
houldin'," as he unostentatiously called some five hundred acres of bog,
mountain, and sheep-walk, lay in a remote part of the county, the roads
were nearly impassable for several miles in that direction, land was of
little value; the agent was a timid man, with a large family; of three
tithe-proctors who had penetrated into the forbidden territory, two
laboured under a dyspepsia for life, not being able to digest parchment
and sealing-wax, for they usually dined on their own writs; and the
third gave five pounds out of his pocket, to a large, fresh-looking man,
with brown whiskers and beard, that concealed him two nights in a
hay-loft, to escape the vengeance of the people, which act of
philanthropy should never be forgotten, if some ill-natured people were
not bold enough to say the kind individual in question was no other man
than--
However this may be, true it is that this was the last attempt made to
bring within the responsibilities of the law so refractory a subject; and
so powerful is habit, that although he was to be met with at every market
and cattle-fair in the county, an arrest of his person was no more
contemplated than if he enjoyed the privilege of parliament to go at
large without danger.
When the country became disturbed, and nightly meetings of the peasantry
were constantly held, followed by outrages against life and property to
the most frightful extent, the usual resources of the law were employed
unavailingly. It was in vain to offer high rewards. Approvers could not
be found; and so perfectly organized were the secret associations, that
few beyond the very ringleaders knew any thing of consequence to
communicate. Special commissions were sent down from Dublin; additional
police force, detachments of military; long correspondences took place
between the magistracy and the government--but all in vain. The
disturbances continued; and at last to such a height had they risen, that
the country was put under martial law; and even this was ultimately found
perfectly insufficient to repel what now daily threatened to become an
open rebellion rather than mere agrarian disturbance. It was at this
precise moment, when all resources seemed to be fast exhausting
themselves, that certain information reached the Castle, of the most
important nature. The individual who obtained and transmitted it, had
perilled his life in so doing--but the result was a great one--no less
than the capital conviction and execution of seven of the most
influential amongst the disaffected peasantry. Confidence was at once
shaken in the secrecy of their associates; distrust and suspicion
followed. Many of the boldest sunk beneath the fear of betrayal, and
themselves, became evidence for the crown; and in five months, a county
shaken with midnight meetings, and blazing with insurrectionary fires,
became almost the most tranquil in its province. It may well be
believed, that he who rendered this important service on this trying
emergency, could not be passed over, and the name of J. Larkins soon
after appeared in the Gazette as one of his Majesty's justices of the
peace for the county; pretty much in the same spirit in which a country
gentleman converts the greatest poacher in his neighbourhood by making
him, his gamekeeper.
In person he was a large and powerfully built man, considerably above six
feet in height, and possessing great activity, combined with powers of
enduring fatigue almost incredible. With an eye like a hawk, and a heart
that never knew fear, he was the person, of all others, calculated to
strike terror into the minds of the country people. The reckless daring
with which he threw himself into danger--the almost impetuous quickness
with which he followed up a scent, whenever information reached him of an
important character--had their full effect upon a people who, long
accustomed to the slowness and the uncertainty of the law were almost
paralyzed at beholding detection and punishment follow on crime, as
certainly as the thunder-crash follows the lightning.
His great instrument for this purpose was the obtaining information from
sworn members of the secret societies, and whose names never appeared in
the course of a trial or a prosecution, until the measure of their
iniquity was completed, when they usually received a couple of hundred
pounds, blood-money, as it was called, with which they took themselves
away to America or Australia--their lives being only secured while they
remained, by the shelter afforded them in the magistrate's own house.
And so it happened that, constantly there numbered from ten to twelve of
these wretches, inmates of his family, each of whom had the burden of
participation in one murder at least, waiting for an opportunity to leave
the country, unnoticed and unwatched.
Such a frightful and unnatural state of things, can hardly be conceived;
and yet, shocking as it was, it was a relief to that which led to it. I
have dwelt, perhaps too long upon this painful subject; but let my reader
now accompany me a little farther, and the scene shall be changed. Does
he see that long, low, white house, with a tall, steep roof, perforated
with innumerable narrow windows. There are a few straggling beech trees,
upon a low, bleak-looking field before the house, which is called, par
excellence, the lawn; a pig or two, some geese, and a tethered goat are,
here and there musing over the state of Ireland, while some rosy
curly-headed noisy and bare-legged urchins are gamboling before the
door. This is the dwelling of the worshipful justice, to which myself
and my party were now approaching, with that degree of activity which
attends on most marches of twenty miles, under the oppressive closeness
of a day in autumn. Fatigued and tired as I was, yet I could not enter
the little enclosure before the house, without stopping for a moment to
admire the view before me. A large tract of rich country, undulating on
every side, and teeming with corn fields, in all the yellow gold of
ripeness; here and there, almost hid by small clumps of ash and alder,
were scattered some cottages, from which the blue smoke rose in a
curling column into the calm evening's sky. All was graceful, and
beautifully tranquil; and you might have selected the picture as
emblematic of that happiness and repose we so constantly associate with
our ideas of the country; and yet, before that sun had even set, which
now gilded the landscape, its glories would be replaced by the lurid
glare of nightly incendiarism, and--but here, fortunately for my reader,
and perhaps myself, I am interrupted in my meditations by a rich,
mellifluous accent saying, in the true Doric of the south--
"Mr. Loorequer! you're welcome to Curryglass, sir. You've had a hot day
for your march. Maybe you'd take a taste of sherry before dinner? Well
then, we'll not wait for Molowny, but order it up at once."
So saying, I was ushered into a long, low drawing-room, in which were
collected together about a dozen men, to whom I was specially and
severally presented, and among whom I was happy to find my boarding-house
acquaintance, Mr. Daly, who, with the others, had arrived that same day,
for the assizes, and who were all members of the legal profession, either
barristers, attorneys, or clerks of the peace.
The hungry aspect of the convives, no less than the speed with which
dinner made its appearance after my arrival, showed me that my coming was
only waited for to complete the party--the Mr. Molowny before alluded to,
being unanimously voted present. The meal itself had but slight
pretensions to elegance; there were neither vol au vents, nor croquettes;
neither were there poulets aux truffes, nor cotelletes a la soubise but
in their place stood a lordly fish of some five-and-twenty pounds weight,
a massive sirloin, with all the usual armament of fowls, ham, pigeon-pie,
beef-steak, &c. lying in rather a promiscuous order along either side of
the table. The party were evidently disposed to be satisfied, and I
acknowledge, I did not prove an exception to the learned individuals
about me, either in my relish for the good things, or my appetite to
enjoy them. Dulce est desipere in loco, says some one, by which I
suppose is meant, that a rather slang company is occasionally good fun.
Whether from my taste for the "humanities" or not, I am unable to say,
but certainly in my then humour, I should not have exchanged my position
for one of much greater pretensions to elegance and ton. There was first
a general onslaught upon the viands, crashing of plates, jingling of
knives, mingling with requests for "more beef," "the hard side of the
salmon," or "another slice of ham." Then came a dropping fire of
drinking wine, which quickly increased, the decanters of sherry for about
ten minutes resting upon the table, about as long as Taglioni touches
this mortal earth in one of her flying ballets. Acquaintances were
quickly formed between the members of the bar and myself, and I found
that my momentary popularity was likely to terminate in my downfall; for,
as each introduction was followed by a bumper of strong sherry, I did not
expect to last till the end of the feast. The cloth at length
disappeared, and I was just thanking Providence for the respite from
hob-nobbing which I imagined was to follow, when a huge, square decanter
of whiskey appeared, flanked by an enormous jug of boiling water, and
renewed preparations for drinking upon a large scale seriously
commenced. It was just at this moment that I, for the first time,
perceived the rather remarkable figure who had waited upon us at dinner,
and who, while I chronicle so many things of little import, deserves a
slight mention. He was a little old man of about fifty-five or sixty
years, wearing upon his head a barrister's wig, and habited in clothes
which originally had been the costume of a very large and bulky person,
and which, consequently, added much to the drollery of his appearance.
He had been, for forty years, the servant of Judge Vandeleur, and had
entered his present service rather in the light of a preceptor than a
menial, invariably dictating to the worthy justice upon every occasion
of etiquette or propriety, by a reference to what "the judge himself"
did, which always sufficed to carry the day in Nicholas's favour,
opposition to so correct a standard, never being thought of by the
justice.
"That's Billy Crow's own whiskey, the 'small still,'" said Nicholas,
placing the decanter upon the table, "make much of it, for there isn't
such dew in the county."
With this commendation upon the liquor, Nicholas departed, and we
proceeded to fill our glasses.
I cannot venture--perhaps it is so much the better that I cannot--to give
any idea of the conversation which at once broke out, as if the barriers
that restrained it had at length given way. But law talk in all its
plenitude, followed; and for two hours I heard of nothing but writs,
detainers, declarations, traverses in prox, and alibis, with sundry hints
for qui tam processes, interspersed, occasionally, with sly jokes about
packing juries and confusing witnesses, among which figured the usual
number of good things attributed to the Chief Baron O'Grady and the other
sayers of smart sayings at the bar.
"Ah!" said Mr. Daly, drawing a deep sigh at the same instant--"the bar is
sadly fallen off since I was called in the year seventy-six. There was
not a leader in one of the circuits at that time that couldn't puzzle
any jury that ever sat in a box; and as for driving through an act of
parliament, it was, as Sancho Panza says, cakes and gingerbread to them.
And then, there is one especial talent lost for ever to the present
generation--just like stained glass and illuminated manuscripts, and slow
poisons and the like--that were all known years ago--I mean the beautiful
art of addressing the judge before the jury, and not letting them know
you were quizzing them, if ye liked to do that same. Poor Peter Purcell
for that--rest his ashes--he could cheat the devil himself, if he had
need--and maybe he has had before now, Peter is sixteen years dead last
November."
"And what was Peter's peculiar tact in that respect, Mr. Daly?" said I.
"Oh, then I might try for hours to explain it to you in vain; but
I'll just give you an instance that'll show you better than all my
dissertations on the subject, and I was present myself when it happened,
more by token, it was the first time I ever met him on circuit;--"
"I suppose there is scarcely any one here now, except myself, that
remembers the great cause of Mills versus Mulcahy, a widow and others,
that was tried in Ennis, in the year '82. It's no matter if there is
not. Perhaps it may be more agreeable for me, for I can tell my story my
own version, and not be interrupted. Well, that was called the old
record, for they tried it seventeen times. I believe, on my conscience,
it killed old Jones, who was in the Common Pleas; he used to say, if he
put it for trial on the day of judgment, one of the parties would be sure
to lodge an appeal. Be that as it may, the Millses engaged Peter
special, and brought him down with a great retainer, in a chaise and
four, flags flying, and favors in the postillions' hats, and a fiddler on
the roof playing the 'hare in the corn.' The inn was illuminated the
same evening, and Peter made a speech from the windows upon the liberty
of the press and religious freedom all over the globe, and there wasn't a
man in the mob didn't cheer him, which was the more civil, because few of
them knew a word of English, and the others thought he was a play-actor.
But it all went off well, nevertheless, for Peter was a clever fellow;
and although he liked money well, he liked popularity more, and he never
went any where special that he hadn't a public meeting of some kind or
other, either to abolish rents, or suppress parsons, or some such popular
and beneficial scheme, which always made him a great favourite with the
people, and got him plenty of clients. But I am wandering from the
record. Purcell came down, as I said before, special for Mills; and when
he looked over his brief, and thought of the case, he determined to have
it tried by a gentlemen jury, for although he was a great man with the
mob, he liked the country gentlemen better in the jury box, for he was
always coming out with quotations from the classics, which, whether the
grand jury understood or not, they always applauded very much. Well,
when he came into court that morning, you may guess his surprise and
mortification to find that the same jury that had tried a common
ejectment case, were still in the box, and waiting, by the chief
justice's direction, to try Mills versus Mulcahy, the great case of the
assizes.
"I hear they were a set of common clod-hopping wretches, with frize coats
and brogues, that no man could get round at all, for they were as cunning
as foxes, and could tell blarney from good sense, rather better than
people with better coats on them.
"Now, the moment that Mr. Purcell came into the court, after bowing
politely to the judge, he looked up to the box, and when he saw the dirty
faces of the dealers in pork and potatoes, and the unshaven chins of the
small farmers, his heart fell within him, and he knew in a minute how
little they'd care for the classics--if he quoted Caesar's Commentaries
itself for them--ignorant creatures as they were!
"Well, the cause was called, and up gets Peter, and he began to
'express', (as he always called it himself,) 'the great distress his
client and himself would labour under, if the patient and most
intelligent jury then on the panel should come to the consideration of so
very tedious a case as this promised to be, after their already most
fatiguing exertions;' he commented upon their absence from their wives
and families, their farms neglected, their crops hazarded, and in about
fifteen minutes he showed them they were, if not speedily released and
sent home, worse treated and harder used than many of the prisoners
condemned to three months imprisonment; and actually so far worked upon
the feelings of the chief himself, that he turned to the foreman of the
jury, and said, 'that although it was a great deviation from his habitual
practice, if at this pressing season their prospects were involved to the
extent the learned counsel had pictured, why then, that he would so far
bend his practice on this occasion, and they should be dismissed.' Now
Peter, I must confess, here showed the most culpable ignorance in not
knowing that a set of country fellows, put up in a jury box, would rather
let every glade of corn rot in the ground, than give up what they always
supposed so very respectable an appointment; for they invariably imagine
in these cases that they are something very like my lord the judge,
'barrin' the ermine;' besides, that on the present occasion, Peter's
argument in their favour decided them upon staying, for they now felt
like martyrs, and firmly believed that they were putting the chief
justice under an obligation to them for life.
"When, therefore, they heard the question of the court, it did not take a
moment's time for the whole body to rise en masses and bowing to the
judge, call out, 'We'll stay, my lord, and try every mother's son of them
for you; ay, if it lasted till Christmas.
"'I am sure, my lord,' said Peter, collecting himself for an effort, 'I
cannot sufficiently express my gratitude for the great sacrifice these
gifted and highly intelligent gentlemen are making in my client's behalf;
for being persons who have great interests in the country at stake, their
conduct on the present occasion is the more praiseworthy; and I am
certain they fully appreciate, as does your lordship, the difficulty of
the case before us, when documents will be submitted, requiring a certain
degree of acquaintance with such testimonials sufficiently to comprehend.
Many of the title deeds, as your lordship is aware, being obtained under
old abbey charters, are in the learned languages; and we all know how
home to our hearts and bosoms comes the beautiful line of the Greek poet
'vacuus viator cantabit ante latronem.'" The sound of the quotation
roused the chief justice, who had been in some measure inattentive to the
preceding part of the learned counsel's address, and he called out rather
sharply, 'Greek! Mr. Purcell--why I must have mistaken--will you repeat
the passage?'
"'With pleasure, my lord. I was just observing to your lordship and the
jury, with the eloquent poet Hergesius, 'vacuus viator cantabit ante
latronem.'
"'Greek, did you call it?'
"'Yes, my lord, of course I did.'
"'Why, Mr. Purcell, you are quoting Latin to me--and what do you mean by
talking of the learned Hergesius, and Greek all this time?--the line is
Juvenal's.'
"'My lord, with much submission to your lordship, and every deference to
your great attainments and very superior talents, let me still assure you
that I am quoting Greek, and that your lordship is in error.'
"'Mr. Purcell, I have only to remark, that if you are desirous of making
a jest of the court, you had better be cautious, I say, sir;' and here
the judge waxed exceeding wroth. 'I say the line is Latin--Latin, sir,
Juvenal's Latin, sir--every schoolboy knows it.'
"'Of course, my lord,' said Peter, with great humility, 'I bow myself to
the decision of your lordship; the line is, therefore, Latin. Yet I may
be permitted to hint that were your lordship disposed to submit this
question, as you are shortly about to do another and a similar one, to
those clear-sighted and intelligent gentlemen there, I am satisfied, my
lord, it would be Greek to every man of them.'
"The look, the voice, and the peculiar emphasis with which Peter gave
these words, were perfectly successful. The acute judge anticipated the
wish of the counsel--the jury were dismissed, and Peter proceeded to his
case before those he knew better how to deal with, and with whom the
result was more certain to be as he wished it."
To this anecdote of the counsellor, succeeded many others, of which, as
the whiskey was potent and the hour late, my memory is not over
retentive: the party did not break up till near four o'clock; and even
then, our seance only concluded, because some one gravely remarked "that
as we should be all actively engaged on the morrow, early hours were
advisable."