CHAPTER XXXV

There had been a pause after Lily called to Marg’ret to bring the baby

on the night when Ronald left her. Marg’ret, though very kind, was a

person who liked her own way. If the child’s toilet was not complete,

according to her own elaborate rule, she did not obey in a moment even

the eager call of the young mother. There were allowances made for her,

as there always are for those who insist upon having their own way.

Accordingly there was a pause. Lily lay and listened to the wheels of

the geeg which carried Ronald away. They did not bring the same chill to

her heart as usual, and yet a chill began to steal into the room. The

night was warm and soft--the early August, which in the North is the

height of summer--and there was no chill at all in the atmosphere. It

seemed to Lily’s keen ears as she lay listening that the geeg paused as

if something had been forgotten, but then went on at double speed,

galloping up the brae, till the sound of the wheels was extinguished in

the night and distance. Then she called again sharply: “Marg’ret,

Marg’ret! bring in my baby!” But still there was no reply.

“She’s just a most fastidious woman, with all her dressings and her

undressings. She’ll no have finished him just to the last string tying,”

said Robina.

“Bid her come at once, at once!” cried Lily. “I want my little man.”

And Beenie dived into the next room, which was muffled in curtains,

great precautions having been taken lest the cry of the child should be

heard down stairs. There was another room still within that, into which

the nurse occasionally retired; but there was no one in either place,

nor were there any traces of the little garments lying about which

betray a baby’s presence--every thing appeared to have been swept away.

Beenie, who had come for the child with her rosy countenance beaming,

stood still in consternation, her mouth open, her terrified eyes taking

in every thing with speechless dismay; for Marg’ret had never ventured

down stairs as yet, nor had, they flattered themselves, a sound of the

infant been heard, to awaken any question there. Beenie stood silent and

terrified for a moment, and then, instead of returning to her mistress,

she flew down stairs. Katrin was alone, doing some of her delicate

cooking carefully over the fire; all was still, as if nothing but the

most commonplace and tranquil events had ever happened there. Beenie,

who had burst into the place like a whirlwind, again paused, confounded

by this every-day tranquillity. “Katrin, Katrin, where is Marg’ret?” she

cried, adding in a lower tone, “and the bairn?”

“What a question to ask me!” said Katrin. “She’s with your mistress

without a doubt. Have you ta’en leave of your senses,” she murmured in a

hurried undertone, “to roar out like that about a bairn? What bairn?”

Here Beenie found herself at the end of all her resources. She burst out

into loud weeping. “She’s no up the stair and she’s no down the stair,”

cried Beenie, “and my bonnie leddy is crying out for her, and will not

be satisfied! And she’s no place that I can find her--neither her nor

yet the bairn.”

Katrin thrust her saucepan from her as if it had been the offending

thing; she wiped her hands with her apron. She looked at Beenie, both of

them pale with horror. “Oh, the ill man!” she cried. “Oh, the monster!

Oh, sic a man for our bonnie dear! I have been misdoubting about the

bairn--but wha could have expectit that a young man no hardened in

iniquity would have thought of a contrivance like that?”

Beenie had no thought or time to spare even on such an enormity. “How am

I to face her--and tell her?” she said.

And at this moment they heard Lily’s voice calling from above, at first

softly, then shouting, screaming all their names. “Marg’ret! Beenie!

Katrin! Marg’ret! Marg’ret! Beenie! Katrin! Where is my bairn? where is

my bairn?”

The two women flew up the stairs, at the head of which they found Lily

in her white night-dress, with her feet bare, her hair waving wildly

about her head, her face convulsed and drawn. “My bairn!” she cried, “my

bairn! my little bairn! Where is Marg’ret? Where is my baby? Marg’ret!

Marg’ret! Beenie! Katrin! bring me my baby--my baby!” She seized Beenie

wildly with her trembling hands.

“Oh, my daurlin’!” Beenie cried. “Oh, my bairn--oh, my bonnie Miss

Lily!”

Lily flung the large weeping woman from her with a passion of

impatience. “Katrin!” she said breathlessly, “you have sense; where is

my baby? bring me my baby! My little bairn! Did ye ever hear that an

infant like that should be kept from his mother? Marg’ret! Marg’ret!

Where has she taken my baby--my baby--my----”

Lily’s voice rose to a kind of scream. She ceased to have command of her

words, and went on calling, calling, for Marg’ret and for her child in

an endless cry, not knowing what she said.

“You will come back to your bed first and then I will tell you,” said

Katrin. There was no one in the house but themselves, and they were

isolated in this sudden tragedy from all the world by the distance and

the silence of night and the moor. The door stood open at the foot of

the stairs, and a cold air blew up through the long, many-cornered

passage, chill and searching notwithstanding the warmth of the night.

Lily was glad to lean shivering upon the warm support of the kind woman

who encircled her with her arm. “You will tell me--you will tell me,”

she murmured, permitting herself to be drawn back to her room. The blind

had been raised from one of the windows, and the moonlight streamed in,

crossing the dimly lighted chamber with one white line of light. The

bed, with the little table by it, and the candle burning calmly, seemed

too peaceful for Lily’s mood of suspense and alarm. She stood still in

the moonlight, which seemed to make her figure luminous with her white

bare feet and pale face. “Tell me!” she cried, “tell me! Marg’ret!

Marg’ret! Where has she taken my baby? I want my baby--nothing

more--nothing more.”

“For the Lord’s sake, mem!” said Katrin, “ye are shivering and

trembling. Go back to your bed.”

“Oh, my daurlin’!” cried the weeping Beenie. “Oh, my bonnie lamb, he’s

just away with his father in the geeg. Ye needna cry upon Marg’ret;

she’ll no hear you, for it’s just her that’s taken him away!”

“Oh, you born fool!” Katrin cried, supporting her young mistress with

her arm.

But Lily twisted out of her hold. She turned upon Beenie, bringing her

hands together wildly with a loud clap that startled all the silences

about like the sudden report of a pistol, and then fell suddenly with a

cry at their feet.

Since that moment she had not recovered consciousness. Both of them knew

by the force of experience how dangerous a symptom in Lily’s condition

is the strong convulsive shivering which had seized her, and for the

greater part of that dreadful night before Sir Robert’s arrival they

were both by her bedside striving with every kind of hot application to

restore a natural temperature. But when they had partially succeeded in

this, she still lay unconscious, sometimes agitated and disturbed,

flinging herself about with her arms over her head, and once or twice

repeating, what filled them with horror, the extraordinary clap together

of her hands--sometimes quite still, and murmuring under her breath a

continuous flow of inarticulate words, but never conscious of them or

their ministrations, saying no word that had meaning in it. Sir Robert’s

arrival made a certain change, and left the weight of the nursing upon

Beenie, Katrin, with her many additional labors, being unable to bear

her share. They had already, however, had time for several consultations

on the subject, which Sir Robert naturally disposed of with so much

ease, but which to the two women was a much more serious matter--a

doctor. Would not a doctor divine at once with his keen, educated eyes

what had happened so recently? Would not he read as clearly as in a book

what had been the beginning of Lily’s illness? She lay helpless now,

able to give them no assistance in disposing of her--she, so wilful by

nature, who had always got her own way, so far, at least, as they were

concerned. It filled them with awe to look at her lying unconscious,

and to feel that her fate was in their hands. What were they to do? They

were responsible for her life or death.

The doctor, when he came, listened with very small attention to Beenie’s

long and confused story, chiefly made up from things she had read and

heard of the causes of Lily’s illness. Whatever the causes were, the

result was clear enough. She was in a high fever, her faculties all lost

in that confusion of violent illness which takes away at once all

consciousness of the present and all personal control. “Fever” was an

impressive word in those days, more alarming in some senses, less so in

others, than now. It was not mapped out and distinct, with its charts

and its well-known rules. There was not, so far as I am aware, such a

thing as a clinical thermometer known, at least not in ordinary

practice; and the word “fever” meant something dangerously “catching,”

something before which nurses fled and friends retired in dismay--which

is not to say that those who suffered from it were less sedulously

guarded and taken care of by their own people then than now. The first

idea of both Beenie and Katrin, however, was that it must be “catching,”

being fever, and Sir Robert, when he was informed, was not much wiser.

“Fever--where could she have got it?” he said with a sudden imagination

of some wretched beggar-woman with a sick child who might have given it

to the young lady. “It is not a thing of that kind. You are thinking of

scarlatina or maybe typhus. Nothing of that sort. It does not spring

from infection. It is brain-fever,” the medical man said. “Brain-fever!”

said Sir Robert, indignant. “There was never any thing of that kind in

my family.” He took it as a reproach, as if the Ramsays had ever been a

race subject to disturbance in the brain!

But whatever they said, it mattered little to Lily. She lay on her bed

for hours together moving her restless head to and fro, muttering

inarticulate words, then pouring forth a stream of vague discourse,

through which there gleamed occasionally a ray of meaning, a wild

sudden demand, a flash of protest and expostulation. “Not that! not

him!” she would sometimes say, “any thing but him!” and the doctor,

making out as much as that one day, believed that the poor girl had been

refused her lover, and that it was the sudden arrival of the uncle, who

was hostile to them, which had brought on or precipitated the trouble in

her brain. Sometimes she would call for “Marg’ret, Marg’ret, Marg’ret!”

in accents now of impatience, now of despair. And then he asked who

Marg’ret was and why she did not come, or rather: “Which of you is

Marg’ret?” to the confusion of the two women. “Oh, sir, neither her nor

me,” cried Beenie, “neither her nor me! but a woman that had something

to do with her--in an ill moment.” “Let her be sent for, then,” he said

peremptorily. Beenie and Katrin had a great deal to bear. Knowing every

thing, they had to pretend they knew nothing, to shake their heads and

wonder why the patient should utter words which were heartrending to

them as betraying the dreadful persistence of that impression of misery

in her mind which they knew so well. They gave themselves the comfort of

exchanging a glance now and then, which was almost all the mutual

consolation they had. For Katrin was very much occupied with the

housekeeping and her work, and the necessity for satisfying her master

and his guests, who, knowing nothing of Sir Robert’s family, and never

having seen his niece, did not propose to go away, as guests in other

circumstances would have done. And Sir Robert was very far from desiring

that they should go away. He was terrified to find himself here alone,

without even Lily’s company, and therefore said very little of her

illness. What difference could it make to her, if she never saw them or

heard of them, whether Sir Robert had company or not? So Katrin labored

morning and night to feed with her best the party in the dining-room,

and with very imperfect help at first to look after all the wants of the

gentlemen, while Beenie, isolated in her mistress’s room, nursed night

and day the helpless, unconscious creature who required so little, yet

needed so much care. Those were not the days of carefully regulated

nursing, in which the most important matter of all is the preservation

of the nurse’s health and her meals and hours of taking exercise. It was

an age when the household was sufficient for itself, and the domestic

nurse devoted herself night and day to her charge, accepting all the

risks and fatigue as a matter of course. Beenie had no help and wanted

none. Sometimes for a moment’s refreshment she would go down to the

door, and breathe in a long draught of the fresh morning air, while

Katrin stood by Lily’s bed trying to elicit from her a look or sign of

intelligence. But Beenie could not have remained absent from her young

mistress had the wisest of nurses been there to take her place. “Na, na;

I’ve ta’en care of her a’ her days, and I’ll take care of her till the

end,” Beenie said, when Katrin exhorted her to take a few minutes more

of the outdoor freshness. “Hold your tongue, woman, with your ends!”

cried Katrin--“a young thing like that with a’ her life in her! She will

see us baith out.” “Oh, the Lord grant it!” cried Beenie, shaking her

large head. “But how is she to live and face the truth and ken all

that’s happened if ever she comes to herself? She will just sit up in

her bed, and clap her two hands together as she did yon dreadful

night--and give up the ghost.”

“God forgive him--for I canna!” said Katrin, with a deep-drawn breath.

“And Marg’ret! What do ye say to her, the deep designing woman, that had

been planning it, nae doubt, all the time?”

“Marg’ret!” cried Katrin with disdain, with the gesture of throwing

something too contemptible for consideration from her. But she added:

“There is just this to be said: We could not have keepit the bairn. No

possible, her so ill, and the doctor about the house, and a wee thing

that bid to have had the air and could not be keepit silent, nor yet

hid. Oh, mony’s the thought I’ve had on that awful subject. It was the

deed of a villain, Beenie! Maybe God will forgive him, but never me.

And yet, being done, it’s weel that it was done.”

“Katrin!” cried Beenie in dismay.

But something, perhaps, in their low-toned but vehement conversation had

caught some wandering and confused faculty not entirely overwhelmed in

Lily’s bosom. She began to call out their names again with a wild

appeal, “Marg’ret, Marg’ret!” above all the others, flinging out her

arms and rising up in her bed, as Beenie had described in her gloomy

anticipations, as if to give up the ghost.

And in this way days and weeks passed away. Lily’s fever seemed to have

become a natural part of the life of the house. Robina seemed to herself

unable to remember the time when she went to bed at night and got up

again in the morning like other people, and had ordinary meals and went

and came about the house. And all the incidents that had gone before

became dim. If an answer had been demanded of her hurriedly, she could

scarcely have ventured to affirm that any one was true: the marriage

ceremony in the Manse parlor, the meetings of the young husband and

wife, and above all the last tremendous event, which had seemed in its

turn to be of more importance than any thing else that ever occurred.

They had all faded away into the background, while Lily, sometimes pale

as a ghost, sometimes flushed with the agitation of fever, lay

struggling between life and death. The doctor, an ordinary village

doctor, knew little of such maladies. He was reduced by his practical

ignorance to the passive position which is now so often adopted by the

highest knowledge. He watched the patient with anxious and sympathetic

eyes, naturally sorry for a creature so young, with her girlish beauty

fading like a flower. He did not know what to do, and he wisely did

nothing. He had made, as was natural, many attempts to find out how an

attack so serious had been brought on. Had she received any great shock?

Katrin and Beenie, looking at each other, had answered cautiously that

maybe it might be so, but they could not tell. Had she suddenly heard

any bad news? Oh, yes, poor thing, she had done that! very bad news

that had just gone straight to her heart like the shot of a gun. “But,

doctor, you’ll say nothing to Sir Robert of that.” The doctor drew his

own conclusions and satisfied himself. No doubt the shock was the

arrival of the old uncle. He had heard something of the young gentleman

who was always coming and going, and that the two would make a bonnie

couple if every thing went right, though this good-natured speech was

accompanied by shakings of the head and prognostications of dreadful

things that might happen if every thing went wrong. The doctor nodded

his head and made up his mind that he had penetrated the affair. It

would not even have shocked him to hear that it had gone the length of a

secret marriage. Private marriages acknowledged late were not looked

upon in Scotland with very severe eyes. Both law and custom excused

them, though in such a case as Lily’s it was strange that any thing of

the kind should occur.

But it becomes of very little importance, when such a malady has dragged

along its weary course for weeks, to know what was the cause of it. The

rapid cures which a promise of happiness works, in fiction at least,

very seldom occur in life, and when the spiritual part of the patient

becomes lost, as it were, in the hot running current of fevered blood,

and the predominance of the agitated body is complete over all the

commotions of the mind, it is vain to think of proposing remedies for

the original wrong, even if that were possible. Sir Robert now and then

paid a visit to his niece’s room, short and unwilling, dictated solely

by a sense of duty. He stood near the door and looked at her, tossing on

her pillows, or lying as if dead in the apathy of exhaustion, with an

uneasy sense, partly that he was himself badly used by Providence,

partly that he might, perhaps, be partially himself to blame. He had

left her here very lonely. Perhaps it was a mistake in judgment; but

then he had been entirely ignorant of the circumstances, and how could

it be said to be his fault? When she began to talk, he could not

understand what she said--nor, indeed, could any one in the quickened

and hurrying incoherence of the utterance--except the cry of Marg’ret,

Marg’ret, Marg’ret! which still sometimes came with a passion that made

it intelligible from her lips. “Who is Marg’ret?” he asked angrily. “I

remember no person of that name.” “Marg’ret! Marg’ret! Marg’ret!” cried

Lily again, her confused mind caught by his repetition of the name. She

flung herself toward the side of the bed which was nearest the door,

opening her eyes wide, as if to see better, and adding, with a cry of

ecstasy: “She has brought him back--she has brought him back!” Sir

Robert hurried away with a thrill of alarm. Who was it that was to be

brought back? Who was the Marg’ret for whom she cried night and day? Was

it the mere delirium of her fever, or was something else--something real

and unknown--hidden below?

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