CHILD, _noun_; a student of sex hygiene; a member of boy scout
organisations and girls' camp-fire organisations for the practice of the
kind of self-control that parents fail to exercise; a member of school
republics for the study of politics while father reads the sporting
page; a ward of the State; a student of the phenomena of alcoholism; a
handicap carefully avoided by specialists in child-study; one-third of a
French family; the holder of an inalienable title to happiness which the
Government must supply; in general, a human being under thirteen years
of age who must be taught everything so that he will be surprised at
nothing when he is thirty years of age. The ignorant and innocent
offspring of a human couple, obs. Synonyms: man-child; girl-child;
love-child.
MOTHERHOOD, _noun_; a profession once highly esteemed, but rejected by
modern spirits as too frequently automatic.
MOTHER, _noun_; a female progenitor; a term often employed by the older
poets in connection with the ideas of love, sacrifice, and holiness, but
now delicately described by writers of the _Harper's Weekly_ temperament
as being synonymous with cow.
EUGENICS, _noun_; a condition of intense excitement over the future of
the human race among those who are doing nothing to perpetuate it.
LITERATURE, _noun_; see SEX; WHITE SLAVE.
DRAMA, _noun_; see SEX; WHITE SLAVE.
PUNCH, _noun_; see DRAMA; LITERATURE; MAGAZINE ADVERTISING.
ADENOIDS, _noun_; something that is cut out of children.
SOCIAL-MINDEDNESS, _noun_; something that is injected into children.