_Q._ What are first fruits?
_A._ Rhubarb and little green gooseberries.
_Q._ When is it necessary to commence a fresh suit?
_A._ When the other has become too ventilating or seedy.
_Q._ What is a release?
_A._ To exchange the society of your ugly aunt for that of your pretty
cousin.
_Q._ What is a clerical error?
_A._ Preaching a three hours’ sermon.
_Q._ What is a settlement of a conveyance?
_A._ When an omnibus smashes a cab.
_Q._ What is the master’s general report?
_A._ That wages are too high.
_Q._ Is “What’s that to you,” deemed a sufficient answer?
_A._ It may be, or may not; but it is likely to be excepted to for
impertinence.
_Q._ Describe the meaning of the term _Nunc pro Tunc_.
_A._ It is the general exclamation you make when you are run against by
a clumsy person. It generally has the word “stupid” added--_ex. gr._,
“Now then, stupid!”
_Q._ Give an instance of a “similiter”?
_A._ You’re another!
_Q._ What is the meaning of “putting yourself upon the country?”
_A._ Going to the workhouse.
_Q._ Where is the Great Seal kept?
_A._ In the Arctic Ocean. A small specimen may be seen at the
Zoological Gardens.
_Q._ What are “breaches of trust”?
_A._ Trousers procured on tick.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Offender (in the course of lengthy explanation)._ “So
I ses to the inspector as I were, as you might say, ill, ’an demanded
to be examined by Doctor Jones, an’ the inspector ’e ses as ’ow I must
see Doctor Smith, the police doctor. ‘No,’ I ses, ‘you may run me in,’
I ses, ‘but you ain’t goin’ to make me change my medical adviser!’”]
* * * * *
[Illustration: HAPPY THOUGHT.--_Nervous Rider._ “Look here, policeman!
I give this horse in charge!”
[_Puts rein in policeman’s hand, and bolts._]
* * * * *