_Knowledge of Other Men_
[Sidenote: Unlocking The Other Man's Heart And Mind]
We have seen how you can make certain of _gaining_ your introductory
chance. Now we are to consider the first step in the _most effective
use_ of this opportunity to begin building your own success.
Let us say that you have chosen a particular man as the sort of employer
with whom you want to work. Your prospecting has convinced you that in
his business you have found the right market for your present services
and a promising field for the future big success you are ambitious to
achieve. Therefore you wish to sell him a true idea of your best
capabilities. We will assume that you have passed the threshold of his
private office, but your object in calling upon him has not yet entered
_his thoughts and feelings_.
Before you state the ideas and service intention you have brought, make
certain of the best possible reception from him. You need to take every
practicable precaution against being rebuffed. You want to assure
yourself of a welcome. Having gained this chance to start the sale of
your capabilities, it is of vital importance not to take the next step
in the selling process _blindly_, lest you stumble. Hence you should
_size up_ the other man before you announce your purpose in calling.
What you may learn from reading his character correctly will help you to
gain admittance into his mind for your ideas. It should assure a welcome
from his heart for your sincere desire to serve him.
[Sidenote: Skeleton Key Unavailing]
Golden opportunities to succeed in a particular business cannot be
unlocked with a skeleton key of knowledge about human nature. Knowledge
of _all_ men supplies merely the shaft and general shape of the key
blank, which must then be notched and filed to fit the characteristics
of the individual whose mind and heart you wish to open for the
admission of your ideas and feelings. Unless you can get into that _one_
mind and that _one_ heart with your service purpose, you will be shut
out from the opportunity you want. It is important that you know the
traits of men in general, of course. Such knowledge, however, should be
supplemented by a _specific_ and true conception of the particular man
through whom you hope to reach your chance to succeed.
Do not confuse in your present thoughts the process of _prospecting_ the
characteristics of a man _before_ meeting him, with the later process of
_sizing him up at the time of the interview_. It is highly important to
accumulate in advance as much knowledge as possible of your prospect's
individual traits. But what you learned about your chosen future
employer before you gained the chance to present your ideas to him in
his office should be used _merely as a guide_ in sizing him up on the
spot.
[Sidenote: Stop, Look, Listen]
Take nothing for granted now. Through your personal, specific
observation either confirm or disprove every item of information that
has come to you from other people previous to meeting this man face to
face. Your informants may or may not have had correct conceptions of his
characteristics. It would be unwise, even unsafe, for you to rely
implicitly on _their_ judgment of him. You need to _be certain you know
him as he really is_; so that you can present your purpose with the
confidence a skilled salesman feels when he is sure he understands the
principal traits of the prospect he is addressing. In reaching this man
you have gained your first chance. You cannot afford to risk losing it
by haste. _Do not advance farther in the selling process until you have
made certain of the ground you are to tread._ It is very bad
salesmanship to begin introducing ideas and feelings to a mind and heart
that are unknown to you except from hearsay.
"But," you say, "I'm not a mind reader. And I can't look into another
man's heart."
True. Yet you should be able to read the _signs_ of his thoughts; which
he manifests in his words, tones, and acts. And you need not see into
_his_ heart to know what it contains; since fundamentally _all_ men are
much alike at heart. Just look clearly into your own heart at its best.
You will find there the basic emotions and feelings that civilized men
have in common everywhere.
[Sidenote: Character Analysis by Types Not Reliable]
Character analysis by "types" is unreliable. I believe as little in
phrenology as in palm-reading. I have directed thousands of men in
business. Personal experience has proved to me that the _permanent_
structure of a particular human body is not an invariably true index to
the characteristics of the inner, or ego man who owns that body.
He has had no control over the color of his hair or eyes. He cannot
reshape the bones of his face, nor alter the bumps on his head. To
believe that such permanent structural details of the "natural" _outer_
man determine or denote the peculiar aptitudes of the _inner_ man is to
credit the exploded doctrine of fore-ordination.
Therefore, when you have gained the chance to present your capabilities
for sale to a chosen prospect with whom you believe you will have the
best opportunities to succeed, and when you are swiftly shaping your
presentation plans to fit his personality, don't size up merely the
factors of his make-up with which he was born. You will be apt to
mistake his true character if you have come to his office with the
delusion that the blonde type of man is fundamentally different _in
nature_ from the brunette type. Get out of your head any misconception
that a man is foredoomed to practically certain failure in a particular
career because he has a big nose, sloping brow, and receding chin; and
that another man with a snub nose, bulging forehead, and protruding jaw
is destined almost surely to succeed if he selects a certain vocation.
No "mind man" with a normal, healthy body is limited in his
possibilities of success by being born with red, or black, or tow hair;
or because the bones of his head happen to be shaped in a particular
way. The ego is the master, not the slave, of the body.
[Sidenote: True Signs of Character]
_The true signs of character are to be read only in the words, tones,
and movements_ of a man--and in his muscle structure _as he has
developed it_ or has left it _undeveloped_. We already have seen in a
previous chapter how a mind center and its co-ordinated set of muscles
develop each other. So the positive characteristics of the inner man are
revealed clearly by the muscle structure built up by his habits of
thinking and feeling and action. On the other hand, his deficiency in
certain mental and emotional development is indicated negatively by his
lack of the muscle structure that naturally would be co-ordinate with
such development.
The relation of muscular development to mental development, as explained
in an earlier chapter, suggests the one _sure_ way to judge a man's
habits of thinking. _Observe discriminatingly his various muscle
structures, and his muscle activities in detail._ The development of
certain sets of _muscles_ proves a co-ordinate development of the _mind
centers_ most directly connected with these muscle structures.
Similarly the _mental action_ of a man is indicated by his _physical
manifestations_ with his muscles in movements.
Hence if you learn to read the _mental significance of particular muscle
structures and of particular muscle actions_, you will be able to size
up both the _habits_ of thought (individual characteristics) of a man,
and what he happens to be thinking _at the time_ you come to present
your services or ideas for sale.
[Sidenote: Recapitulation]
Before going on with our study of the subject of this chapter, let us
summarize the preceding pages to make sure that we know thoroughly the
somewhat difficult but very important ground we have gone over thus far.
You chose a certain man as your prospective employer because you believe
that if you succeed in associating yourself with him you will have the
best opportunities to achieve your ambition. You are now standing in his
presence. You need to size up his true character quickly in order that
you may be sure of presenting your capabilities in the particular way
that is likely to be most effective with him. You wish to impress this
one man with right ideas of your qualities and their value. You want him
to perceive that he lacks and requires just such services as you purpose
to offer for sale. You realize it is unsafe for you to jump at
conclusions about his characteristics. You pause briefly to size him up
before presenting your proposition, rather than to proceed blindly in
ignorance of his habits of thought, and with no clue to what he happens
to be thinking at the time you call. You must know all it is possible to
find out on the spot regarding him.
[Sidenote: What Has He Done with His Birthright?]
You cannot be certain of his characteristics if you judge him solely by
what Nature forced on him. But you can be absolutely sure if you size
him up by observing _what he has done with his birthright_, and if you
are then able to _interpret_ correctly what you _perceive_. Your
prospect has had nothing to do with the shape and size of his head. His
fair or dark complexion is inherited. He is utterly unable to control
the color of his hair or eyes. His _muscle structure_, however, is a
_development_ that he has accomplished himself. If he has a firm jaw,
the jaw _muscles_, not the jaw _bone_, signify the characteristics of a
firm mentality. _Judge the physical man he has made by his habits of
living under the government of his mind._ Disregard such physical
details of his appearance as he cannot help. The _made_ man is the true
image of the ego. It is this _ego_ of your prospective employer you need
to know, for your chance to succeed in your purpose with him depends on
the _inner_ man you must convince and persuade. Therefore restrict your
size-up to the discriminative observation of the _muscle signs of his
mind habits and mind actions_.
[Sidenote: Recall Burbank Method]
Recall now, or re-read the second chapter of this book. There you
studied the principles of restrictive-discriminative growth--the Burbank
method of developing selected qualities of manhood. That chapter related
to your cultivation of particular characteristics within _yourself_. The
same principles will guide you with equal certainty in acquiring
knowledge of _other men_.
Every _mental_ characteristic of your prospect about which you need to
know has _physical indications that can be perceived, and translated
into certain knowledge of details of his character_. You have studied
the co-relation of _your_ mind and body in mutual development. You may
be sure that similar processes of development have produced like effects
in the case of the man you have come to see. You know exactly how to
grow particular qualities within yourself, by using your muscles to
develop corresponding mind centers and vice versa. You can read another
man's mind by observing _his_ muscle structure and muscle action, and by
then interpreting the mental significance of what you perceive.
[Sidenote: Men are Alike At Heart, But Differ in Mind]
To repeat and emphasize again what already has been said about knowing
the _heart_ of another man--you need but look into your own breast to
find there the finest basic characteristics of the human heart in
general. As Kipling wrote, "The Colonel's lady and Judy O'Grady are
sisters under their skins." All men are fundamentally alike at the
bottoms of their hearts, however much they may differ in the individual
traits they have grafted upon their common root of human nature.
So when you are sizing up your prospect, you should comprehend that _the
most effective way to get to his heart is through such an appeal as
would reach the heart of every man_. Know your own heart surely, then,
in order to be certain of knowing his. All human hearts respond
similarly to manifestations of courage, nobility, love, faith, honor,
and the like. We laugh and cry at the same humor and pathos. Our
_feelings_ are closely akin. We differ from one another only in our
_minds_. Our individual, acquired habits of thought affect but the
_degrees_ of our several heart responses to the gamut of fundamental
emotional appeals.
[Sidenote: Exhaustive Prolonged Analysis Unnecessary]
Knowledge of another man, then, involves first, comprehension that he is
_like_ every other man in his _emotions_, and _unlike_ all other men in
the way he _thinks_. To a trained observer his habits of thought are
clearly indicated by his muscle structure and muscle action. Exhaustive
prolonged analysis is unnecessary. You can learn to read quickly the
mental significance of the comparatively small number of details of
muscle structure and action that constitute a fairly complete index to
his character. Then you will be able to judge with certainty practically
all the traits of which you need to be sure in order to make the most
effective presentation of your services for sale to this particular
man.
[Sidenote: Value of Size-up]
The value of such a dependable size-up can scarcely be over-estimated.
It is not easy to gain the _initial_ chance to present your capabilities
to the one man with whom you have chosen to be associated. But it would
be tremendously harder to win a _second_ opportunity to sell your
services after _failing_ the first time. By sizing him up aright while
you are presenting your qualifications for his consideration, you will
be able to _avoid making unfavorable impressions_. You can also adapt
your salesmanship to _creating the best possible impression_ of your
capabilities and their fitness to his *especial needs*.
[Sidenote: The Gruff Reception]
Sometimes a man seeking to gain the big chance that he believes would
open the door to success fails to secure his opportunity because he is
disconcerted by a gruff reception that he misconstrues as personal to
him. He wrongly interprets _natural_ self-defense as a sign of habitual
crabbedness.
A big man often thinks he is "hunted" by people who want to make him the
prey of their own purposes. The employer you have chosen as the means of
reaching the goal of your ambition may feel suspicious of your object in
approaching him. He is likely to assume an attitude of extreme reserve,
or even of icy indifference. Possibly his manner will be curt and sharp.
Size up such a reception as just his way of protecting himself against
impositions. His treatment of you is merely a superficial manifestation
of the instinct for self-preservation. It indicates nothing more than
that he is wary of any one who calls on him with an unknown purpose.
His object in being cold or brusque is to get rid of people who might
annoy him or waste his time. He would not assume his repelling pose if
he knew _you_ had come with a purpose of _true service_, after full
preparation of yourself and your selling plans to interest him. Though
he does not realize it yet, you will neither pester him nor fritter away
his precious minutes.
[Sidenote: Melting Ice And Smoothing Roughness]
Therefore if your size-up convinces you that the cold, brusque manner
is only _assumed_, you need not deal with it as if it were
_characteristic_. It indicates no more than the habit of wariness. You
should proceed confidently with your selling process, undeterred by the
bearing of your prospect. Do not attempt to mollify his assumed
harshness. It will take but a few moments for you to _sell him the idea
that you have brought him something he really needs_. When he first
glimpses your service purpose, his icy pose will begin to melt and his
rough tones will be smoothed.
A great public-utility corporation with thousands of branch offices
throughout the United States had as its purchasing agent for many years
an old gorgon. He was "a holy terror" to new salesmen, but became a
staunch customer when once his confidence was deservedly gained. And
every employee in the office of this tartar loved him for his true
kindness of heart.
[Sidenote: Don't Flinch Or Retreat]
You may have occasion to call on such an eccentric big man. If you are
rebuffed fiercely, don't let it "get your goat." He can have no possible
reason for disliking you personally, especially before he comprehends
your purpose in coming to him. So disregard his ferocious pose. Though
he may treat you as an unwelcome intruder, proceed calmly to the
statement of your business. You know that your intention to render him a
true service justifies you in taking his time. Therefore his assumed
fierce manner should be powerless to disconcert you.
_Do not retreat_ from a chosen prospective employer; _do not even
flinch_ from him, however ill-tempered and repellant he may appear. You
cannot possibly lose so much by standing your ground as you would
forfeit by running away from this chance to demonstrate your
salesmanship. Countless thousands of men have failed because at the
first sign of antagonism they surrendered even more than they might have
lost if they had been utterly beaten after the hardest kind of a fight
for victory. _They gave up without a struggle, not only all their
chances for success, but their self-respect as well._
Suppose the man you have selected as your future employer does snap at
you viciously when you call on him; his ferocity signifies no more than
that you must approach and handle him carefully. Your prospecting and
your size-up should have convinced you that he is not in fact the crab
he tries to appear. Real, thorough cranks are so rare they can be
considered as non-existent. It is safe to conclude that any man who acts
as if he were sore all the way through all the time is just _acting_.
Ignore the irrascibility of the "Everett Trues" you meet. _Superficial_,
_assumed_ indications will not help you to comprehend the _inner_ man
you want to influence. _Restrict your size-up to the signs of that inner
man._ While the old gorgon you face is brow-beating you, he may be
planning in the back of his head an act of gentle kindness to some one.
If he is _habitually_ kind, there will be physical indications of that
characteristic; in his _tones_ and _acts_ if not in his _words_. Look
for these signs beneath his harsh manner, which is merely a disguise he
has put on. "Everett True" behaves like a domineering tyrant, but he
really is characterized by an acute sensitiveness to what is right and
just.
[Sidenote: Judge By Unconscious Appearance And Actions]
When sizing up a man, depend principally upon details of his
_appearance_ and _actions_. Translate whatever you see or hear into
definite discriminative judgments regarding him. His muscle structure
and movements indicate certain traits. Of course you should also observe
and size up the significance of the words and tones he uses. But a man
employs his speech with the conscious intention of making impressions.
Therefore it is not safe to rely on a size-up based on what he says.
Your prospect may be using his words and tones to hide, rather than to
reveal, his inner self.
However, if you know how to separate and classify _details of muscle
structure and action_, you can depend safely on specific conclusions
based on these indications. The muscle structure of a man is the result
of his habits of living, or of his predominant characteristics. He
builds it up unconsciously and is unable to disguise it. It can be
interpreted as certain proof that he has particular traits. Most of his
movements, too, are made without his realizing exactly what they denote
of his character and present thoughts. He just "acts natural." Therefore
if you read indications of the inner man by analytically observing his
_physique_ and _actions_, you will gain reliable information about him.
He will not know that he is revealing his traits and what he is
thinking.
[Sidenote: Your Opinions About People]
From your earliest childhood to this moment you have been forming
first-hand opinions of other people by observing and interpreting their
words, tones, and movements. Sizing up men is not a new process to you.
But in order to be a certainly successful salesman of yourself you
should _observe more intelligently and discriminatively_ hereafter.
Instead of making up your mind about people without knowing just how or
why you arrive at your judgments, classify your intuitions
scientifically. Know the reasons for your opinions. You can be sure
about the conclusions you reach as a result of your _specific, exact
observation of details_. The study and analysis of words, tones, and
acts, coupled with a little painstaking practice, will make you an
expert judge of other men.
[Sidenote: Study Character Unobserved]
Do not seem to make an effort to observe the person you are sizing up,
for that would impress him disagreeably. Without indicating that you are
watching him, mentally note and interpret his muscle structure, his
manner of speaking, his gestures, the rate of his physical activity, the
way his actions respond to his ideas, the type and tensity of his
movements. _Each item you analyze and translate should indicate to you
clearly some fact about the inner man._
Of course you will not be able to read your prospect thoroughly in the
first few moments after you meet him. It is possible to make only a
partial size-up then. No one would reveal _all_ his characteristics in
such a brief time. _But each indication you perceive and interpret
correctly will aid you to attribute to him certain other, related
traits._ For instance, if the actions of a man indicate the
characteristic of evasion, you may judge safely that he lacks courage,
the highest sense of honor, some of the elements of perfect squareness
and trustworthiness. If he has a habit of under-estimating or
"knocking," and manifests this characteristic in something he says or
does, you may feel certain he is not an idealist. He is likely to be
pretty "practical" in his views, and cannot be won by appeals to rosy
visions.
[Sidenote: Elements of Character are Consistent]
Analysis of a man's true character usually shows that its elements are
thoroughly consistent. A human being is not a bundle of contradictions,
but an aggregation of likenesses. Every man differs from every _other_
man; yet, generally speaking, one element of his character is not apt to
differ radically from another detail of _himself_. There are exceptions,
but in most cases the seeming contradictions in an individual are only
apparent opposites. Supposed inconsistencies cause surprise because the
true fundamental traits of the person observed are not discerned. The
_outer_ man often seems to contradict himself. But nearly always the
_inner_ man is consistent in his various characteristics. This is the
reason why your size-up should be _restricted to discriminative
observation of indications of the ego_.
[Sidenote: Application of Theory]
Perhaps you have been thinking, "The _theory_ seems to be all right, but
exactly how is it _applied?_" So we shall turn our attention next to
specific details of sizing up the characteristics of the inner man. We
shall see just how his thoughts and feelings may be discerned at a
particular time.
We assumed previously that you have called upon the man to whom you want
to sell your services. You believe the way to your success lies through
association with him. _Your faculties of observation should be trained
to size up at a glance whatever traits are suggested by his bearing,
his clothes, his manner, his actions, his surroundings_. Whether he is
standing or sitting, it is possible for you to perceive and interpret
his pose and poise. You can learn much from his walk if he steps forward
to greet you. His handshake may tell volumes about his true character.
The different ways that men clasp palms are especially significant of
their individual traits. You should have a scientific knowledge of
handshakes.
[Sidenote: Traits Suggested By Nods]
Should your prospect merely nod on your entrance, note discriminatively
the movement he makes. There are many kinds of nods. The quick, sharp
tipping of the head indicates unhesitating, clean-cut decisions. Such
judgments on the spur of the moment are not always right, but they are
apt to be pretty conclusive. Irregular, jerky nods are signs of
irritability, of rash or very impulsive decisions, and often of
unreasoning prejudice. The nod made directly forward signifies
frankness, dignity, and straight thinking. The tilting of the head a
little to one side suggests a habit of indirectness and a tendency to
"stall."
[Sidenote: Learn to Analyze Smiles]
How much of a man's character is illumined by his smile! Ability to
analyze smiles _correctly_ will enable you to size up the dissembled
traits of character behind the _false_ smile. Such analytical ability
will also show you how to turn to your best advantage the smile of
_true_ friendliness.
It is possible to judge from the physical aspect, from the facial
expressions, from the movements, and from the voice of a man whether he
is nervous or phlegmatic, active or passive, healthy or lacking in vigor
and strength. A skillful size-up will determine that he is either
eccentric or well balanced mentally, that he is thrifty or extravagant,
that he is disposed to take comprehensive views or is inclined to give
undue attention to trifles and details. He will indicate to a keen
observer real intellect or mere intelligence. His emotions also may be
read. He reveals himself as generous or selfish; as an optimist or as a
skeptic. He shows that he is responsive to heart appeals or is hard
hearted, moral or immoral, artistic or lacking in appreciation of art,
cultured or boorish.
[Sidenote: Discriminative Restrictive Process]
To know the significance of your prospect's different _words, tones, and
movements--the only means he has for the expression of his ideas and
feelings_, just apply to _his_ case whatever you have learned in
studying _yourself_. Adapt your previous discriminative knowledge to the
prospect you are sizing up. Restrict your conclusions about him to the
significance of details you observe in his appearance, actions, and
speech.
After considerable practice in sizing up you will become familiar with
the indications of many different traits. _But in most cases it will be
sufficient if you can observe swiftly and interpret in a flash only a
few of the commonest character signs_. We will touch briefly upon some
of these.
[Sidenote: Facial Muscles]
Tense jaw muscles, whether large or small, denote the characteristic of
persistence. But loose, flabby cheek muscles do not necessarily prove
the habit of over-eating, or of sensuality. They may mean that the man
who has them does not habitually allow his feelings to show in his face.
When the muscles of facial expression are flabby they prove only that
they are slightly used. Therefore when you encounter a man with loose
cheeks read his characteristics from other muscle-structure signs, and
from his actions. Do not misjudge the heavy face as a sign of grossness.
[Sidenote: Courage And Bluff]
If a man holds his head up easily, and moves it in this upright position
without stiffness or effort, you may be sure his back neck and shoulder
muscles are strongly developed. Such strong development suggests that he
is courageous, for these muscles are directly co-ordinated with the mind
center of bravery. Therefore the head and shoulders easily held back and
up; not a high chest, signify courage. The bulging chest often indicates
no more than pouter-pigeon bluff temporarily put on.
[Sidenote: Indications Of Intellect And Power]
A man's high chest, however, is a sign that his predominant
characteristics are intellectual; because his chest has been developed
by the student's habit of upper-lung breathing. The nerves running from
the upper part of the lungs are directly connected with the brain
centers of _intellect_. On the contrary the nerves that lead from the
lower portions of the lungs center first in the plexus through which are
manifested the _vital emotions_ and the emotions of _sex_. Hence the man
who breathes deeply by habit indicates a great deal of vitality and has
marked "he-man" traits. He is not of the intellectual type so markedly
as he is a man of _power_. The man who breathes only from the upper part
of his lungs is not a man of power, but may have a fine intellect.
[Sidenote: Significance Of Postures]
The postures of the body are significant of characteristics. If your
prospect stands with his feet wide apart and his arms folded
conspicuously across his high-held chest, he probably has a habit of
bluffing. His widely spread feet indicate that he has to prop himself in
that physical posture; so it is unnatural to him. Similarly he has had
to prop himself in his mental posture. _Push your ideas hard and he will
lose his mental balance;_ just as he would lose his physical balance if
you were to jolt him. He is obliged to prop himself. He is bluffing. You
can make him quit. The folded arms and expanded chest of the bluffer
mean no more than the high-arched back of a cat. Stroke "Tom"
soothingly, and he stops bristling. Stroke the human bluffer tactfully
with persuasion, and he will not act pugnacious for long.
[Sidenote: The Balanced Body]
But if, when making a statement, your prospect stands or walks about
easily with his feet close together; if he balances his body without
difficulty or artificial postures--it is certain that he has a good
deal of determination in his make-up. You cannot influence him to change
his mind by making emotional appeals to him. In order to secure the
favorable decision of such a man, you will need to use the most
conclusive, solid evidence of your capabilities.
[Sidenote: Wavering Minds]
Suppose your prospect shifts his feet continually and rather jerkily.
While you are talking with him, he frequently changes his weight from
one foot to the other. He is suggesting that he has little confidence in
his own judgment, that he is not sure of his own thoughts. _Take the
lead strongly with such a man._ Do his thinking for him. It is up to you
to bring his vacillating mind to definite conclusions, following your
lead. First make it clear to him that your proposal is really to his
interest. Then proceed with a manner of absolute assurance, as if you
did not question his doing what you wish. With your skillful
salesmanship you can stop his wavering and induce him to act as you
indicate.
[Sidenote: Quick Thinkers]
The _rate_ of one's _muscular_ activity is directly associated with the
rate of one's _mental_ activity. The man who _moves_ slowly by habit is
also a plodder in his _thoughts_. On the contrary, quick actions
indicate quick thinking; which, however, may be mistaken. Only the quick
motion that is _under perfect control_ suggests an _unerring_ conclusion
reached swiftly. The man who snatches up a pencil with sure fingers,
and without fumbling it begins to write at once, demonstrates that he
has an electrically fast mind perfectly harnessed to his purpose. When
another man reaches swiftly for a pencil but misses his sure grasp at
the first attempt; or when the dash of his hand to the paper is followed
by a momentary delay for adjustment of the pencil in his fingers or by
hesitation before he begins to write, he denotes mere impulsiveness.
[Sidenote: Self-Control]
Sometimes a quick thinker will purposely develop the habit of making
very deliberate motions. This trait is the result of his determined
repression of a recognized inclination to act on impulse. He has
accomplished perfect self-control in order to guard against the danger
of making up his mind too quickly on his first thoughts. But his
slowed-down movements will be so _precise_ and _certain_ as to indicate
his characteristic of self-control and that his mind has moved in
advance of his acts.
If you have occasion to size up such a man, you should perceive that the
movements of his muscles do not correspond with the rate of his mental
activity, as a superficial observer might mistakenly conclude. If your
prospect sits or stands immobile; or if his actions give no indication
of what he is thinking, watch his eyes and his facial muscles of
expression. Eyes that fairly dart from one object to another,
expressions that flash on and off the face; prove swift mental activity,
no matter how quietly the body may be held. For instance, a strong,
quick thinker may have his muscles under such perfect control that he
will pick up a pencil very deliberately because he has trained himself
to repress his impulses. But when he has finished using the pencil, he
will drop it cleanly and not let it slip slowly from his fingers. His
self-training in precaution applies only to what he does _before_ acting
on a purpose. The moment he is done writing, he also is done with the
pencil. His hand does not linger with it over the paper. Unconsciously
his characteristic quickness manifests itself in his inclination to get
rid at once of the tool he has finished using.
[Sidenote: Tightened Thoughts]
Any indication of _muscular tensity_ suggests a _tightening of the mind_
on thoughts. It is often a sign of mental resistance or of persistency.
If, when talking to a man you observe that his muscles seem taut, avoid
forcing the idea you want him to accept, for his mind is opposing it
strongly just then. Perhaps he has a persistent thought of his own, at
variance with yours. Either give him a chance to express his idea in
words, so you can dispose of it, or switch him away from it by changing
the trend of the conversation. When you perceive that his muscles are
normally relaxed, you may safely return to the postponed point. You will
encounter lessened mental resistance. Very likely he will then have no
impulse to persist in the thought he previously had fixed in his mind.
[Sidenote: What a Man's Walk Shows]
Note how your prospect walks forward to meet you, or how he moves about
his office. If his stride is long and free and easy, it proves that the
back muscles of his thighs are strong. Those muscles function in direct
co-ordination with the mental action of _willing_. Therefore when a man
walks easily with a long, free stride he indicates that he has a strong
will. He may be sized up confidently as a fighter for his rights, as a
man with a great deal of resolution once he makes up his mind.
[Sidenote: Determine Mental Speed]
It is very important when sizing up a man to determine the _degree of
his mental speed_. If you have brought your best capabilities for sale
to a prospective employer, you need to know whether or not he is getting
clearly all the ideas you present. It is necessary for you to make sure
on the one hand that you are not presenting ideas too fast for his mind
to comprehend each point fully. On the other hand, you wish to avoid
harping on details after he understands them. It will aid you very much
in your salesmanship if you know _just how quickly_ the mind of your
prospect acts. There is no better way to find out than by noting the
speed of his _muscle_ response to test ideas. Since the rate of _muscle_
activity is directly indicative of the rate of _mental_ activity, you
can often learn from observing the _movements_ of your prospect _how
quickly his mind takes in_ points you state or suggest.
You might test him by asking that he write a name or set down some
figures you give him. If without hesitation he reaches for a pencil, you
may be sure his mind responds quickly to your ideas. But should there be
a moment or two of delay before he picks up the pencil, his _slower
physical response_ to your request is to be read as an _indication that
his mind does not grasp ideas at once_.
[Sidenote: Keep Mental Pace]
After making your size-up of the degree of his mental speed, you can
govern your presentation by what you have learned. If you are dealing
with a mind that acts slowly, give your prospect plenty of time to get
each idea you want to impress upon him. But proceed briskly from point
to point with the man whose mind grasps ideas instantly. You would make
a poor impression on him were you to go at a lagging pace.
It is not necessary, however, to make special or artificial tests to
learn how quickly your ideas are being grasped. Observe the facial
expressions of your prospect, which will indicate how soon your thought
is appreciated after it is presented. Should you say something with a
touch of humor, the time it takes him to smile or twinkle his eyes will
measure the speed of his mind in catching ideas.
[Sidenote: Head and Eye Movements]
The movements of the head and of the eyes, according to which are
predominant in the case of an individual, tell much of his character.
The villain on the stage habitually looks out of the corners of his
eyes. So does the mischievous ingenue. But the hero turns his whole head
when he looks about. And the look of innocence in the eyes of the
heroine is straightforward; her head is pointed directly in line with
her gaze. _Apply the principle in your salesmanship._ When you observe a
man who turns his head freely and easily for a square look at a person
who comes into his presence, size him up as one who is not afraid to
face either facts or people. If you note that another prospect glances
obliquely at persons or objects, or that he habitually turns his eyes to
one side or the other while keeping his head still, judge him to lack
the characteristic of frankness. He is likely to be evasive and shifty
in his dealings. Perhaps the sign you have perceived indicates no more
than that your prospect is "stalling." It is evidence, nevertheless,
that his mind is not meeting your ideas squarely. You will need to
compel his attention to come back to your point, time and again perhaps.
[Sidenote: Strength Of Mind]
The full-arm movement denotes strength, and bigness of conceptions. A
mere wrist gesture suggests littleness, flippancy, weak traits.
Similarly if a man walks from his hips, he suggests the characteristic
of strong personal opinion. If he walks principally from the knees, or
over-uses his ankles and minces along, he indicates that his mind is not
certain and that he holds his opinions weakly.
A straight gesture denotes pure _mentality_. A single-curved movement
indicates some _emotion_, rather than only a thought. Action in a double
curve suggests _power_ behind the expression.
[Sidenote: Honor and Straightforwardness]
A gesture outward from the chest and on the _same level_ denotes the
qualities of honor and straightforwardness. If your prospect makes such
a motion in response to some idea you present, he is thinking on the
same man-level as yourself--he is treating you as his equal.
A characteristic movement of the arm _above_ the shoulders signifies
vivid imagination, or impracticability. It may be read as an indication
of lightness of character or of a tendency to go off on a tangent.
Conversely, gestures outward from the _lower_ part of the body denote
power, or an inclination to depreciate values.
[Sidenote: Selfishness]
If a man gestures _toward_ himself, he indicates limited conceptions, or
selfishness, with a tendency to materialize everything. Movements in any
direction _away from_ the trunk of the body and on its level denote
assertiveness, sincerity, creative ability, or willingness to cooperate
in thought.
[Sidenote: Affirmation And Denial]
_Vertical_ movements suggest the _life_ of ideas, and symbolize
_affirmation_. _Horizontal_ gestures accompany the _denial_ of ideas and
the _death_ of interest. The _diagonal upward_ curve indicates
_idealism_. A similar curve _downward_ is a sign that an idea presented
to the imagination is _concretely realized_.
[Sidenote: Frankness and Dodging]
The person who gestures _directly in front_ of himself proves he is
_willing to meet you face to face_ regarding the idea presented. But
when a man gestures _slightly_ to one side or the other, he is not
dodging. His movement denotes only that he is _thinking seriously_.
However, if you present ideas to a man who gestures _far_ to the right
or left, you may feel certain that he is not giving his thoughts in
harmony with yours, but probably is trying to get your ideas out of his
mind.
[Sidenote: Study Tones]
While we have emphasized that "muscular indications" are of principal
importance in making a certain size-up, the tones and words of the
prospect should not be altogether neglected. Often a man will
unintentionally reveal in his tones the very things he means his words
to conceal. You would not depend on the words of a person if they were
contradicted by his acts and tones.
Mental, emotive, and power characteristics are signified by various tone
pitches. _The degree of a man's determination_ and his _persistence in
thought_ are denoted by the _number of tone units_ he habitually employs
when speaking. The _genuineness_ of a statement is suggested or
disproved by the tone _intervals_ in the statement. "Yes" spoken in one
unit without inflection means unqualified assent. "Y-es" in two tones
may mean doubtful assent, or false agreement, or even a contradiction.
The _middle-of-the-mouth_ tone proves a _well balanced_ mind, in
contrast with the _unreliable_ mind that is denoted by the _lip_ tone,
and the _secretive_ mind which is suggested by the tone that comes from
_far back_ in the mouth.
In a five minute conversation an alert observer who has studied a few of
the elemental principles of tone analysis can size up a great many of
the most pronounced characteristics of a prospect.
[Sidenote: Don't Offend By Scrutiny]
It is better to make no size-up at all than to _strain_ in observing the
other man and make him aware of your close scrutiny. Such an inartistic
size-up impresses a prospect disagreeably. He feels that you are prying
into his personal characteristics. Therefore _teach yourself to observe
without seeming to look closely at the object of your size-up_. Learn to
observe unobserved; especially to perceive details without looking
_sharply_. Your eyes and ears can take in specific points about your
prospect without making their keen activity apparent.
[Sidenote: Two Parts of Sizing-up Process]
When you have learned how to see and hear many details clearly at the
same time, _unsuspected by your prospect_, you will be a master of the
first essential of skillful character reading. The second necessary
element of proficiency in sizing up men is the _relation or association
of each detail observed, with the particular characteristic it denotes_.
To begin with, _perceive points_ about your prospect. Then ask yourself
about each, "_What does this mean?_"
[Sidenote: Practice Makes Perfect]
Of course you will not become an expert judge of other men at once. But
get the habit of seeing and hearing _specific indications of
characteristics_ wherever you go. You will soon find that your mind has
been opened to new, clear ideas of people.
It is possible for anyone to become a mind reader. It is necessary only
to _note_ and _think out_ the meaning of character signs and thoughts.
Trained specific observation will read and interpret these signs. When
you become skillful in sizing up other men, this art will help you very
much in gaining the best possible receptions everywhere you go. Also, if
you are able to read your prospect's thoughts and character, you can
avoid antagonizing his ideas.
[Sidenote: Remove Unnecessary Difficulties]
Gain knowledge of other men in order to make it easy to sell them true
ideas of your best capabilities. It is not _hard_ to succeed if you take
the _unnecessary_ difficulties out of the process of gaining your
chances.