LOVE AND SORROW.
The beautiful golden summer came round, and Darrell Court looked
picturesque and lovely with its richness of foliage and flush of
flowers. The great magnolia trees were all in bloom--the air was full of
their delicate, subtle perfume; the chestnuts were in bloom, the limes
all in blossom. Sweet summer had scattered her treasures with no niggard
hand; and Lady Darrell had lived to see the earth rejoice once more.
Under the limes, where the shadows of the graceful, tremulous, scented
leaves fell on the grass--the limes that were never still, but always
responding to some half-hidden whisper of the wind--stood Pauline
Darrell and her lover, Sir Vane St. Lawrence. They had met but once
since their hurried parting at Omberleigh. Vane had been to Darrell
Court--for their engagement was no secret now. They wrote to each other
constantly.
On this fair June day Sir Vane had come to the Court with news that
stirred the depths of the girl's heart as a fierce wind stirs the
ripples on a lake.
As the sunlight fell through the green leaves and rested on her, the
change in her was wonderful to see. The beautiful, noble face had lost
all its pride, all its defiance; the play of the lips was tremulous,
sensitive, and gentle; the light in the dark eyes was of love and
kindness. Time had added to her loveliness; the grand, statuesque figure
had developed more perfectly; the graceful attitudes, the unconscious
harmony, the indefinable grace and fascination were more apparent than
ever. But she no longer carried her grand beauty as a protest, but made
it rather the crown of a pure and perfect womanhood.
Something dimmed the brightness of her face, for Sir Vane had come to
her with strange news and a strange prayer. His arm was clasped round
her as they walked under the shadow of the limes where lovers' footsteps
had so often strayed.
"Yes, Pauline, it has come so unexpectedly at last," spoke Sir Vane.
"Ever since Graveton has been in office, my dear mother has been
unwearied in asking for an appointment for me. You know the story of our
impoverished fortunes, and how anxious my dear mother is to retrieve
them."
Her hand seemed to tighten its clasp on his, as she answered:
"Yes, I know."
"Now an opportunity has come. Graveton, in answer to my mother's
continued requests, has found for me a most lucrative office; but, alas,
my love, it is in India, and I must shortly set out."
"In India!" repeated Pauline; "and you must set out shortly, Vane? How
soon?"
"In a fortnight from now," he answered. "It is an office that requires
filling up at once, Pauline. I have come to ask if you will accompany
me? Will you pardon the short notice, and let me take my wife with me to
that far-off land? Do not let me go alone into exile--come with me,
darling."
The color and light died out of her beautiful face, her lips quivered,
and her eyes grew dim as with unshed tears.
"I cannot," she replied; and there was a silence between them that
seemed full of pain.
"You cannot, Pauline!" he cried, and the sadness and disappointment in
his voice made her lips quiver again. "Surely you will not allow any
feminine nonsense about dress and preparations, any scruple about the
shortness of time, to come between us? My mother bade me say that if you
will consent she will busy herself night and day to help us to prepare.
She bade me add her prayer to mine. Oh, Pauline, why do you say you
cannot accompany me?"
The first shock had passed for her, and she raised her noble face to
his.
"From no nonsense, Vane," she said. "You should know me better, dear,
than that. Nothing can part us but one thing. Were it not for that, I
would go with you to the very end of the world--I would work for you and
with you."
"But what is it, Pauline?" he asked. "What is it, my darling?"
She clung to him more closely still.
"I cannot leave her, Vane--I cannot leave Lady Darrell. She is dying
slowly--hour by hour, day by day--and I cannot leave her."
"But, my darling Pauline, there are others beside you to attend to the
lady--Lady Hampton and Miss Hastings. Why should you give up your life
thus?"
"Why?" she repeated. "You know why, Vane. It is the only atonement I can
offer her. Heaven knows how gladly, how happily, I would this moment
place my hand in yours and accompany you; my heart longs to do so. You
are all I have in the world, and how I love you you know, Vane. But it
seems to me that I owe Lady Darrell this reparation, and at the price of
my whole life's happiness I must make it."
He drew her nearer to him, and kissed the trembling lips.
"She has suffered so much, Vane, through me--all through me. If I had
but foregone my cruel vengeance, and when she came to me with doubt in
her heart if I had but spoken one word, the chances are that by this
time she would have been Lady Aynsley, and I should have been free to
accompany you, my beloved; but I must suffer for my sin. I ought to
suffer, and I ought to atone to her."
"Your life, my darling," he said, "your beautiful bright life, your
love, your happiness, will all be sacrificed."
"They must be. You see, Vane, she clings to me in her sorrow. His
name--Aubrey Langton's name--never passes her lips to any one else but
me. She talks of him the night and the day through--it is the only
comfort she has; and then she likes me to be with her, to talk to her,
and soothe her, and she tires so soon of any one else. I cannot leave
her, Vane--it would shorten her life, I am sure."
He made no answer. She looked up at him with tearful eyes.
"Speak to me, Vane. It is hard, I know--but tell me that I am right."
"You are cruelly right," he replied. "Oh, my darling, it is very hard!
Yet you make her a noble atonement for the wrong you have done--a noble
reparation. My darling, is this how your vow of vengeance has ended--in
the greatest sacrifice a woman could make."
"Your love has saved me," she said, gently--"has shown me what is right
and what is wrong--has cleared the mist from my eyes. But for that--oh,
Vane, I hate to think what I should have been!"
"I wish it were possible to give up the appointment," he remarked,
musingly.
"I would not have you do it, Vane. Think of Lady St. Lawrence--how she
has worked for it. Remember, it is your only chance of ever being what
she wishes to see you. You must not give it up."
"But how can I leave you, Pauline?"
"If you remain in England, it will make but little difference," she
said. "I can never leave Lady Darrell while she lives."
"But, Pauline, it may be four, five, or six years before I return, and
all that time I shall never see you."
She wrung her hands, but no murmur passed her lips, save that it was her
fault--all her fault--the price of her sin.
"Vane," she said, "you must not tell Lady Darrell what you came to ask
me. She must know that you are here only to say good-by. I would rather
keep her in ignorance; she will be the happier for not knowing."
Was ever anything seen like that love and that sorrow--the love of two
noble souls, two noble hearts, and the sorrow that parting more bitter
than death brought upon them? Even Miss Hastings did not know until long
after Sir Vane was gone of the sacrifice Pauline had made in the brave
endeavor to atone for her sin.
She never forgot the agony of that parting--how Sir Vane stood before
them, pale, worn, and sad, impressing one thing on them all--care for
his darling. Even to Lady Darrell, the frail, delicate invalid, whose
feeble stock of strength seemed to be derived from Pauline, he gave many
charges.
"It will be so long before I see her again," he said; "but you will keep
her safely for me."
"I almost wonder," said Lady Darrell, "why you do not ask Pauline to
accompany you, Sir Vane. For my own sake, I am most selfishly glad that
you have not done so--I should soon die without her."
They looked at each other, the two who were giving up so much for her,
but spoke no word.
Sir Vane was obliged to return to London that same day. He spoke of
seeing Pauline again, but she objected--it would only be a renewal of
most bitter and hopeless sorrow. So they bade each other farewell under
the lime trees. The bitter yet sweet memory of it lasted them for life.
Miss Hastings understood somewhat of the pain it would cause, but with
her gentle consideration, she thought it best to leave Pauline for a
time. Hours afterward she went in search of her, and found her under the
limes, weeping and moaning for the atonement she had made for her sin.