PRIDE BROUGHT LOW.
Pauline could have passed her life in the happy dream that had come to
her; she did not go beyond it--the golden present was enough for her.
The full, happy, glorious life that beat in her heart and thrilled in
her veins could surely never be more gladsome. She loved and was
beloved, and her lover was a king among men--a noble, true-hearted
gentleman, the very ideal of that of which she had always dreamed; she
did not wish for any change. The sunrise was blessed because it brought
him to her; the sunset was as dear, for it gave her time to dream of
him. She had a secret longing that this might go on forever; she had a
shy fear and almost child-like dread of words that must be spoken,
seeing that, let them be said when they would, they must bring a great
change into her life.
In this she was unlike Sir Vane; the prize he hoped to win seemed to him
so beautiful, so valuable, that he was in hourly dread lest others
should step in and try to take it from him--lest by some mischance he
should lose that which his whole soul was bent upon winning.
He understood the girlish shyness and sweet fear that had changed the
queenly woman into a timid girl; he loved her all the more for it, and
he was determined to win her if she was to be won. Perhaps she read that
determination in his manner, for of late she had avoided him. She
remained with Miss Hastings, and, when that refuge was denied her, she
sought Lady St. Lawrence; but nothing could shield her long.
"Miss Darrell," said Sir Vane, one afternoon, "I have a poem that I want
to read to you."
She was seated on a low stool at Lady St. Lawrence's feet, her beautiful
face flushing at his words, her eyes drooping with shy, sweet pleasure
that was almost fear.
"Will you not read it to me now, and here?" she asked.
"No; it must be read by the sea. It is like a song, and the rush of the
waves is the accompaniment. Miss Hastings, if you have brought up your
pupil with any notion of obedience, enforce it now, please. Tell Miss
Darrell to put on her hat and come down to the shore."
Miss Hastings smiled.
"You are too old now, Pauline, to be dictated to in such matters," said
Miss Hastings; "but if Sir Vane wishes you to go out, there is no reason
why you should not oblige him."
Lady St. Lawrence laid her hand on the beautiful head.
"My son has few pleasures," she said; "give him this one."
Pauline complied. Time had been when anything like a command had
instantly raised a spirit of rebellion within her; but in this clearer
light that had fallen upon her she saw things so differently; it was as
though her soul had eyes and they were just opened.
She rose and put on the pretty, plumed hat which Miss Hastings brought
for her; she drew an Indian shawl over her shoulders. She never once
looked at Sir Vane.
"Your goodness is not only an act of charity," he said, "but it is also
a case in which virtue will be its own reward. You have no notion how
beautifully the sun is shining on the sea."
So they went out together, and Lady St. Lawrence looked after them with
a sigh.
"She is a most beautiful girl, certainly, and I admire her. If she only
had Lillith Davenant's money!"
Sir Vane and Pauline walked in silence down to the shore, and then the
former turned to his companion.
"Miss Darrell," he said, "will you tell me why you were not willing to
come out with me--why you have avoided me and turned the light of your
beautiful face from me?"
Her face flushed, and her heart beat, but she made no answer.
"I have borne my impatience well for the last three days," he said; "now
I must speak to you, for I can bear it no longer, Pauline. Oh, do not
turn away from me! I love you, and I want you to be my wife--my wife,
darling; and I will love you--I will cherish you--I will spend my whole
life in working for you. I have no hope so great, so sweet, so dear, as
the hope of winning you."
She made him no answer. Yet her silence was more eloquent than words.
"It seems a strange thing to say, but, Pauline, I loved you the first
moment I saw you. Do you remember, love? You were sitting with one of my
books in your hand, and the instant my eyes fell upon your beautiful
face a great calm came over me. I could not describe it; I felt that in
that minute my life was completed. My whole heart went out to you, and I
knew, whether you ever learned to care for me or not, that you were the
only woman in all the world for me."
She listened with a happy smile playing round her beautiful lips, her
dark eyes drooping, her flower-like face flushed and turned from his.
"You are my fate--my destiny! Ah! if you love me, Pauline--if you will
only love me, I shall not have lived in vain! Your love would incite me
to win name and fame--not for myself, but for you. Your love would crown
a king--what would it not do for me? Turn your face to me, Pauline? You
are not angry? Surely great love wins great love--and there could be no
love greater than mine."
Still the beautiful face was averted. There was the sunlight on the sea;
the western wind sighed around them. A great fear came over him. Surely,
on this most fair and sunny day, his love was not to meet a cruel death.
His voice was so full of this fear when he spoke again that she, in
surprise, turned and looked at him.
"Pauline," he cried, "you cannot mean to be cruel to me. I am no
coward, but I would rather face death than your rejection."
Then it was that their eyes met; and that which he saw in hers was a
revelation to him. The next moment he had clasped her to his heart, and
was pouring out a torrent of passionate words--such words, so tender, so
loving, so full of passion and hope, that her face grew pale as she
listened, and the beautiful figure trembled.
"I have frightened you, my darling," he said, suddenly. "Ah! do forgive
me. I was half mad with joy. You do not know how I have longed to tell
you this, yet feared--I knew not what--you seemed so far above me,
sweet. See, you are trembling now! I am as cruel as a man who catches in
his hands a white dove that he has tamed, and hurts it by his grasp. Sit
down here and rest, while I tell you over and over again, in every
fashion, in every way, how I love you."
The sun never shone upon happier lovers than those. The golden doors of
Love's paradise were open to them.
"I never knew until now," said Vane, "how beautiful life is. Why,
Pauline, love is the very center of it; it is not money or rank--it is
love that makes life. Only to think, my darling, that you and I may
spend every hour of it together."
She raised her eyes to the fair, calm heavens, and infinite happiness
filled her soul to overflowing; a deep, silent prayer ascended unspoken
from her heart.
Suddenly she sprang from his side with a startled cry.
"Oh, Vane!" she said, with outstretched hands, "I had forgotten that I
am unworthy. I can never marry you!"
He saw such wild despair in her face, such sudden, keen anguish, that he
was half startled; and, kneeling by her side, he asked:
"Why, my darling? Tell me why. You, Pauline," he cried--"you not worthy
of me! My darling, what fancy is it--what foolish idea--what freak of
the imagination? You are the noblest, the truest, the dearest woman in
the whole wide world! Pauline, why are you weeping so? My darling, trust
me--tell me."
She had shrunk shuddering from him, and had buried her face in her
hands; deep, bitter sobs came from her lips; there was the very
eloquence of despair in her attitude.
"Pauline," said her lover, "you cannot shake my faith in you; you cannot
make me think you have done wrong; but will you try, sweet, to tell me
what it is?"
He never forgot the despairing face raised to his, the shadow of such
unutterable sorrow in the dark eyes, the quivering of the pale lips, the
tears that rained down her face--it was such a change from the radiant,
happy girl of but a few minutes ago that he could hardly believe it was
the same Pauline.
He bent over her as though he would fain kiss away the fast falling
tears; but she shrank from him.
"Do not touch me, Vane!" she cried; "I am not worthy. I had forgotten;
in the happiness of loving you, and knowing that I was beloved, I had
forgotten it--my own deed has dishonored me! We must part, for I am not
worthy of you."
He took both her hands in his own, and his influence over her was so
great that even in that hour she obeyed him implicitly, as though she
had been a child.
"You must let me judge, Pauline," he said, gently. "You are mine by
right of the promise you gave me a few minutes since--the promise to be
my wife; that makes you mine--no one can release you from it. By virtue
of that promise you must trust me, and tell me what you have done."
He saw that there was a desperate struggle in her mind--a struggle
between the pride that bade her rise in rebellion and leave him with her
secret untold, and the love that, bringing with it sweet and gracious
humility, prompted her to confess all to him. He watched her with loving
eyes; as that struggle ended, so would her life take its shape.
He saw the dark eyes grow soft with good thoughts; he saw the silent,
proud defiance die out of the beautiful face; the lips quivered, sweet
humility seemed to fall over her and infold her.
"I have done a cruel deed, Vane," she said--"an act of vengeance that
cuts me off from the roll of noble women, and dishonors me."
Still keeping his hold of the white hand, he said:
"Tell me what it was--I can judge far better than you."
It seemed to her fevered fancy that the song of the waves died away, as
though they were listening; that the wind fell with a low sigh, and the
birds ceased their song--a silence that was almost terrible fell around
her--the blue sky seemed nearer to her.
"Speak to me, Vane!" she cried; "I am frightened!"
He drew her nearer to him.
"It is only fancy, my darling. When one has anything weighty to say, it
seems as though earth and sky were listening. Look at me, think of me,
and tell me all."
She could never remember how she began her story--how she told him the
whole history of her life--of the happy years spent with her father in
the Rue d'Orme, when she learned to love art and nature, when she
learned to love truth for its own sake, and was brought up amid those
kindly, simple-hearted artist friends, with such bitter scorn, such
utter contempt of all conventionalities--of her keen and passionate
sorrow when her father died, and Sir Oswald took her home to Darrell
Court, telling her that her past life was at an end forever, and that
even the name she had inherited from her father must be changed for the
name of her race--how after a time she had grown to love her home with a
keen, passionate love, born of pride in her race and in her name--of the
fierce battle that raged always between her stern, uncompromising truth
and the worldly polish Sir Oswald would have had her acquire.
She concealed nothing from him, telling him of her faults as well as her
trials. She gave him the whole history of Aubrey Langton's wooing, and
her contemptuous rejection of his suit.
"I was so proud, Vane," she said, humbly. "Heaven was sure to punish me.
I surrounded myself, as it were, with a barrier of pride, scorn, and
contempt, and my pride has been brought low."
She told him of Sir Oswald's anger at her refusal to marry Aubrey, of
her uncle's threat that he would marry and disinherit her, of her
scornful disbelief--there was no incident forgotten; and then she came
to the evening when Sir Oswald had opened the box to take out the
diamond ring, and had spoken before them all of the roll of bank-notes
placed there.
"That night, Vane," she said, "there was a strange unrest upon me. I
could not sleep. I have had the same sensation when the air has been
overcharged with electricity before a storm; I seemed to hear strange
noises, my heart beat, my face was flushed and hot, every nerve seemed
to thrill with pain. I opened the window, thinking that the cool night
air would drive the fever from my brain.
"As I sat there in the profound silence, I heard, as plainly as I hear
myself speaking now, footsteps--quiet, stealthy footsteps--go past my
door.
"Let me explain to you that the library, where my uncle kept his
cash-box and his papers, is on the ground floor; on the floor above that
there are several guest-chambers. Captain Langton slept in one of these.
My uncle slept on the third floor, and, in order to reach his room, was
obliged to go through the corridor where the rooms of Miss Hastings and
myself were.
"I heard those quiet, stealthy footsteps, Vane, and my heart for a few
moments beat painfully.
"But the Darrells were never cowards. I went to my door and opened it
gently. I could see to the very end of the corridor, for at the end
there was a large arched window, and a faint gray light coming from it
showed me a stealthy figure creeping silently from Sir Oswald's room;
the gray light showed me also a glimmer of steel, and I knew, almost by
instinct, that that silent figure carried Sir Oswald's keys in its
hands.
"In a moment I had taken my resolve. I pushed my door to, but did not
close it; I took off my slippers, lest they should make a sound, and
followed the figure down stairs. As I have said before, the Darrells
were never cowards; no dread came to me; I was intent upon one
thing--the detection of the wrongdoer.
"Not more than a minute passed while I was taking off my shoes, but when
I came to the foot of the grand staircase light and figure had both
disappeared. I cannot tell what impulse led me to the library--perhaps
the remembrance of Sir Oswald's money being there came to me. I crossed
the hall and opened the library door.
"Though I had never liked Captain Langton, the scene that was revealed
to me came upon me as a shock--one that I shall never forget. There was
Captain Langton with my uncle's cash-box before him, and the roll of
bank-notes in his hand. He looked up when I entered, and a terrible
curse fell from his lips--a frightful curse. His face was fearful to
see. The room lay in the shadow of dense darkness, save where the light
he carried shone like a faint star. The face it showed me was one I
shall never forget; it was drawn, haggard, livid, with bloodless lips
and wild, glaring eyes.
"He laid the bank-notes down, and, going to the door, closed it softly,
turning the key; and then clutching my arm in a grasp of iron, he hissed
rather than said:
"'What fiend has brought you here?'
"He did not frighten me, Vane; I have never known fear. But his eyes
were full of murderous hate, and I had an idea that he would have few
scruples as to taking my life.
"'So, Captain Aubrey Langton,' I said, slowly, 'you are a thief! You are
robbing the old friend who has been so good to you!'
"He dragged me to the table on which the money lay, and then I saw a
revolver lying there, too.
"'One word,' he hissed, 'one whisper above your breath, and you shall
die!'
"I know my face expressed no fear--nothing but scorn and contempt--for
his grew more livid as he watched me.
"'It is all your fault!' he hissed into my ear; 'it is your accursed
pride that has driven me to this! Why did you not promise to marry me
when my life lay in your hands?'
"I laughed--the idea of a Darrell married to this midnight thief!
"'I told you I was a desperate man,' he went on. 'I pleaded with you, I
prayed to you, I laid my life at your feet, and you trampled on it with
scorn. I told you of my debts, my difficulties, and you laughed at them.
If I could have gone back to London betrothed to you, every city usurer
would have been willing to lend me money. I am driven to this, for I
cannot go back to face ruin. You have driven me to it; you are the
thief, though my hands take the money. Your thrice-accursed pride has
ruined me!'
"'I shall go to Sir Oswald,' I said, 'and wake him. You shall not rob
him!'
"'Yes,' he returned, 'I shall. I defy you, I dare you; you shall tell no
one.'
"He took the revolver from the table and held it to my head; I felt the
cold steel touch my forehead.
"'Now,' he said, 'your life is in your own hands; you must take an oath
not to betray me, or I will fire.'
"'I am not afraid to die; I would rather die than hide such sin as
yours. You cannot frighten me; I shall call for assistance.'
"'Wait a moment,' he said, still keeping that cold steel to my forehead,
and still keeping his murderous eyes on my face; 'listen to what I shall
do. The moment you cry out I shall fire, and you will fall down dead--I
told you I was a desperate man. Before any one has time to come I shall
place the bank-notes in your hand, and afterward I shall tell Sir Oswald
that, hearing a noise in the library, and knowing money was kept there,
I hastened down, and finding a thief, I fired, not knowing who it
was--and you, being dead, cannot contradict me.'
"'You dare not be so wicked!' I cried.
"'I dare anything--I am a desperate man. I will do it, and the whole
world will believe me; they will hold you a thief, but they will believe
me honest.'
"And, Vane, I knew that what he said was true; I knew that if I chose
death I should die in vain--that I should be branded as a thief, who had
been shot in the very act of stealing.
"'I will give you two minutes,' he said, 'and then, unless you take an
oath not to betray me, I will fire.'
"I was willing to lose my life, Vane," she continued, "but I could not
bear that all the world should brand me as a thief--I could not bear
that a Darrell should be reckoned among the lowest of criminals. I vow
to you it was no coward fear for my life, no weak dread of death that
forced the oath from my lips, but it was a shrinking from being found
dead there with Sir Oswald's money in my hand--a shrinking from the
thought that they would come to look upon my face and say to each other,
'Who would have thought, with all her pride, that she was a thief?' It
was that word 'thief,' burning my brain, that conquered.
"'You have one minute more,' said the hissing whisper, 'and then, unless
you take the oath----'
"'I will take it,' I replied; 'I do so, not to save my life, but my fair
name.'
"'It is well for you,' he returned; and then he forced me to kneel,
while he dictated to me the words of an oath so binding and so fast that
I dared not break it.
"Shuddering, sick at heart, wishing I had risked all and cried out for
help, I repeated it, and then he laid the revolver down.
"'You will not break that oath,' he said. 'The Darrells invariably keep
their word.'
"Then, coolly as though I had not been present, he put the bank-notes
into his pocket, and turned to me with a sneer.
"'You will wonder how I managed this,' he said. 'I am a clever man,
although you may not believe it. I drugged Sir Oswald's wine, and while
he slept soundly I took the keys from under his pillow. I will put them
back again. You seem so horrified that you had better accompany me and
see that I do no harm to the old man.'
"He put away the box and extinguished the light. As we stood together in
the dense gloom, I felt his breath hot upon my face.
"'There is no curse a man can invoke upon the woman who has ruined him,'
he said, 'that I do not give to you; but, remember, I do not glory in my
crime--I am ashamed of it.'
"In the darkness I groped my way to the door, and opened it; in the
darkness we passed through the hall where the armor used by warriors of
old hung, and in the darkness we went up the broad staircase. I stood at
the door of Sir Oswald's room while Captain Langton replaced the keys,
and then, without a word, I went to my own chamber.
"Vane, I can never tell you of the storm, the tempest of hate that raged
within me. I could have killed myself for having taken the oath. I could
have killed Captain Langton for having extorted it. But there was no
help for it then. Do you think I did wrong in taking it?"
"No, my darling," he replied, "I do not. Few girls would have been so
brave. You are a heroine, Pauline."
"Hush!" she said, interrupting him. "You have not heard all. I do not
blame myself for acting as I did. I debated for some time whether I
ought to keep the oath or not. Every good impulse of gratitude prompted
me to break it; yet again it seemed to me a cowardly thing to purchase
my life by a lie. Time passed on--the wonder all died away. I said to
myself that, if ever any one were falsely accused, I would speak out;
but such an event never happened; and not very long after, as you know,
Sir Oswald died. I did not like living under the shadow of that
secret--it robbed my life of all brightness. Captain Langton came again.
No words of mine can tell the contempt in which I held him, the contempt
with which I treated him; every one noticed it, but he did not dare to
complain. He did dare, however, to offer me his hateful love again, and,
when I repulsed him in such a fashion as even he could not overlook, he
turned all his attention to Lady Darrell. I am a wicked girl, Vane--now
that the light of your love has revealed so much to me, I can see how
wicked. I have told you that I had sworn to myself to be revenged on
Lady Darrell for coming between me and my inheritance. I have seen more
of the world since then, but at that time it seemed to me an
unparalleled thing that a young girl like her should marry an old man
like Sir Oswald entirely for his money. I told her if she did so I
would be revenged. I know it was wrong," Pauline continued, humbly; "at
the time I thought it brave and heroic, now I know it was wrong, and
weak, and wicked--your love has taught me that."
"It was an error that sprang from pride," he said, gently; "there is
nothing to part us."
"You have not heard all. Vane, I knew Captain Langton to be a thief--to
be a man who would not scruple at murder if need required. I knew that
all the love he could ever give to any one he had given to me, yet
I----"
She paused, and the sad face raised humbly to his grew crimson with a
burning blush.
"Oh, Vane, how can I tell you the shameful truth? Knowing what he was,
knowing that he was going to marry Lady Darrell, I yet withheld the
truth. That was my revenge. I knew he was a thief, a cruel, wicked
slanderer, a thoroughly bad man, yet, when one word from me would have
saved her from accepting his proposal, I, for my vengeance sake, refused
to speak that word."
Her voice died away in a low whisper; the very sound of her words seemed
to frighten her. Vane St. Lawrence's face grew pale and stern.
"It was unworthy of you, Pauline," he said, unhesitatingly. "It was a
cruel revenge."
"I know it," she admitted. "No words can add to the keen sense of my
dishonor."
"Tell me how it was," he said, more gently.
"I think," continued Pauline, "that she had always liked Captain
Langton. I remember that I used to think so before she married my uncle.
But she had noticed my contempt for him. It shook her faith in him, and
made her doubt him. She came to me one day, Vane, with that doubt in her
face and in her words. She asked me to tell her if I knew anything
against him--if there was any reason why she should doubt him. She asked
me then, before she allowed herself to love him; one word from me then
would have saved her, and that word, for my vengeance sake, I would not
speak."
"It should have been spoken," observed Sir Vane, gravely.
"I know it. Captain Langton has no honor, no conscience. He does not
even like Lady Darrell; he will marry her solely that he may have
Darrell Court. He will afterward maltreat her, and hold her life as
nothing; he will squander the Darrell property. Vane, as truly as the
bright heaven shines above me, I believe him to have no redeeming
quality."
There was silence for some minutes, and then Sir Vane asked:
"Tell me, Pauline--do you think that Lady Darrell would marry him if she
knew what you have just told me?"
"I am sure she would not. She is very worldly, and only lives what one
may call a life of appearances; she would not marry him if she knew him
to be a thief--she would shrink from him. Elegant, polished, amiable
women like Lady Darrell are frightened at crime."
"That one word ought to have been spoken, Pauline, out of sheer womanly
pity and sheer womanly grace. How could you refuse to speak when she
came to you with a prayer on her lips?"
"The pride and thirst for vengeance were too strong for me," she
replied.
"And to these you have sacrificed the life and happiness of a woman who
has never really injured you. Lady Darrell and Captain Langton are not
yet married--are they, Pauline?"
"No, they are to be married in the spring," she answered.
"Then listen to me, my darling. This marriage must never take place.
Your silence is wicked--you cannot honorably and conscientiously stand
by and see Lady Darrell throw herself away on a thief. You have done a
grievous wrong, Pauline. You must make a noble atonement."
Something like a gleam of hope came into her eyes.
"Can I atone?" she asked. "I will do so if I know how, even at the price
of my life."
"I tell you, frankly," he said, "that you have done grievously wrong.
When that poor lady came to you in her doubt and perplexity, you ought
to have told her at least as much of the truth as would have prevented
the marriage. But, my darling, this shall not part us. If I teach you
how to atone will you atone?"
She crossed her hands as one praying.
"I will do anything you tell me, Vane."
"You must go to Darrell Court, and you must make to Lady Darrell the
same ample avowal you have made to me; tell her the same story--how you
vowed vengeance against her, and how you carried that vengeance out; and
then see what comes of it."
"But suppose she will not believe me--what then?"
"You will have done your best--you will at least have made atonement for
your secrecy. If, with her eyes open, Lady Darrell marries Captain
Langton after that, you will have nothing to blame yourself for. It will
be hard for you, my darling, but it is the brave, right, true thing to
do."
"And you do not hate me, Vane?"
"No; I love you even better than I did. The woman brave enough to own
her faults and desirous to atone for them deserves all the love a man
can give her. Pauline, when you have done this, my darling, may I ask
you when you will be my wife?"
She sobbed out that she was unworthy--all unworthy; but he would not
even hear the words.
"None the less dear are you for having told me your faults. There is
only one word now, my darling, to keep in view; and that is,
'atonement.'"
She looked up at him with happy, glistening eyes.
"Vane," she said, "I will go to Darrell Court to-morrow. I shall never
rest now until I have done what you wish me to do."
So far had love redeemed her that she was ready to undo all the wrong
she had done, at any cost to her pride.
But love was to work even greater wonders for her yet.