CONSULTATIONS.
Lucy was much startled by her brother's demand. It struck, however, not
her conscience so much as her recollection, bringing back that past
which was still so near, yet which seemed a world away, in which she had
made so many anxious efforts to carry out her father's will and
considered it the main object of her life. A young wife who is happy,
and upon whom life smiles, can scarcely help looking back upon the time
when she was a girl with a sense of superiority, an amused and
affectionate contempt for herself. "How could I be so silly?" she will
say, and laugh, not without a passing blush. This was not exactly Lucy's
feeling; but in three years she had, even in her sheltered and happy
position, attained a certain acquaintance with life, and she saw
difficulties which in those former days had not been apparent to her.
When Jock began to recall these reminiscences it seemed to her as if she
saw once more the white commonplace walls of her father's sitting-room
rising about her, and heard him laying down the law which she had
accepted with such calm. She had seen no difficulty then. She had not
even been surprised by the burden laid upon her. It had appeared as
natural to obey him in matters which concerned large external interests,
and the well-being of strangers, as it was to fill him out a cup of tea.
But the interval of time, and the change of position, had made a great
difference; and when Jock asked, "Are you doing all he told you?" the
question brought a sudden surging of the blood to her head, which made a
singing in her ears and a giddiness in her brain. It seemed to place her
in front of something which must interrupt all her life and put a stop
to the even flow of her existence. She caught her breath. "Doing all he
told me!"
Jock, though he did not mean it, though he was no longer her
self-appointed guardian and guide, became to Lucy a monitor, recalling
her as to another world.
But the effect though startling was not permanent. They began to talk it
all over, and by dint of familiarity the impression wore away. The
impression, but not the talk. It gave the brother and sister just what
they wanted to bring back all the habits of their old affectionate
confidential intercourse, a subject upon which they could carry on
endless discussions and consultations, which was all their own, like one
of those innocent secrets which children delight in, and which, with
arms entwined and heads close together, they can carry on endlessly for
days together. They ceased the discussion when Sir Tom appeared, not
with any fear of him as a disturbing influence, but with a tacit
understanding that this subject was for themselves alone. It involved
everything; the past with all those scenes of their strange childhood,
the homely living, the fantastic possibilities always in the air, the
old dear tender relationship between the two young creatures who alone
belonged to each other. Lucy almost forgot her present self as she
talked, and they moved about together, the tall boy clinging to her arm
as the little urchin had done, altogether dependent, yet always with a
curious leadership, suggesting a thousand things that would not have
occurred to her.
Lucy had no occasion now for the advice which Jock at eight years old
had so freely given her. She had her husband to lead and advise her. But
in this one matter Sir Tom was put tacitly out of court, and Jock had
his old place. "It does not matter at all that you have not done
anything lately," Jock said; "there is plenty of time--and now that I am
to spend all my holidays here, it will be far easier. It was better not
to do things so hastily as you began."
"But, Jock," said Lucy, "We must not deceive ourselves; it will be very
hard. People who are very nice do not like to take the money; and those
who are willing to take it----"
"Does the will say the people are to be nice?" asked Jock. "Then what
does that matter? The will is all against reason, Lucy. It is wrong, you
know. Fellows who know political economy would think we are all mad; for
it just goes against it, straight."
"That is strange, Jock; for papa was very economical. He never could
bear waste: he used to say----"
"Yes, yes; but political economy means something different. It is a
science. It means that you should sell everything as dear as you can,
and buy it as cheap as you can--and never give anything away----"
"That is dreadful, Jock," said Lucy. "It is all very well to be a
science, but nobody like ourselves could be expected to act upon
it--private people, you know."
"There is something in that," Jock allowed; "there are always
exceptions. I only want to show you that the will being all against
rule, it _must_ be hard to carry it out. Don't you do anything by
yourself, Lucy. When you come across any case that is promising, just
you wait till I come, and we'll talk it all over. I don't quite
understand about nice people not taking it. Fellows I know are always
pleased with presents--or a tip, nobody refuses a tip. And that is just
the same sort of thing, you know."
"Not just the same," said Lucy, "for a tip--that means a sovereign,
doesn't it?"
"It sometimes means--paper," said Jock, with some solemnity. "Last time
you came to see me at school Sir Tom gave me a fiver----"
"A what?"
"Oh, a five-pound note," said Jock, with momentary impatience; "the
other's shorter to say and less fuss. MTutor thought he had better not;
but I didn't mind. I don't see why anybody should mind. There's a fellow
I know--his father is a curate, and there are no end of them, and
they've no money. Fellow himself is on the foundation, so he doesn't
cost much. Why they shouldn't take a big tip from you, who have too
much, I'm sure I can't tell; and I don't believe they would mind," Jock
added, after a pause.
This, which would have inspired Lucy in the days of her dauntless
maidenhood to calculate at once how much it would take to make this
family happy, gave her a little shudder now.
"I don't feel as if I could do it," she said. "I wish papa had found an
easier way. People don't like you afterwards when you do _that_ for
them. They are angry--they think, why should I have all that to give
away, a little thing like me?"
"The easiest way would be an exam.," said Jock. "Everybody now goes in
for exams.; and if they passed, they would think they had won the money
all right."
"Perhaps there is something in that, Jock; but then it is not for young
men. It is for ladies, perhaps, or old people, or----"
"You might let them choose their own subjects," said the boy. "A lady
might do a good paper about--servants, or sewing, or that sort of thing;
or housekeeping--that would be all right. MTutor might look over the
papers----"
"Does he know about housekeeping?"
"He knows about most things," cried Jock, "I should like to see the
thing he didn't know. He is the best scholar we have got; and he's what
you call an all-round man besides," the boy said with pride.
"What is an all-round man?" Lucy asked, diffidently. "He is tall and
slight, so it cannot mean his appearance."
"Oh, what a muff you are, Lucy; you're awfully nice, but you are a muff.
It means a man who knows a little of everything. MTutor is more than
that, he knows a great deal of everything; indeed, as I was saying,"
Jock added defiantly, "I should just like to see the thing he didn't
know."
"And yet he is so nice," said Lucy, with a gentle air of astonishment.
MTutor was a subject which was endless with Jock, so that the original
topic here glided out of sight as the exalted gifts of that model of all
the virtues became the theme. This conversation, however, was but one of
many. It was their meeting ground, the matter upon which they found each
other as of old, two beings separated from the world, which wondered at
and did not understand them. What a curious office it was for them, two
favourites of fortune as they seemed, to disperse and give away the
foundation of their own importance! for Jock owed everything to Lucy,
and Lucy, when she had accomplished this object of her existence, and
carried out her father's will, would no doubt still be a wealthy woman,
but not in any respect the great personage she was now. This was a view
of the matter which never crossed the minds of these two. Their strange
training had made Lucy less conscious of the immense personal advantage
which her money was to her than any other could have done. She knew,
indeed, that there was a great difference between her early home in
Farafield and the house in London where she had lived with Lady
Randolph, and still more, the Hall which was her home--but she had been
not less but more courted and worshipped in her lowly estate than in her
high one, and her father's curious philosophy had affected her mind and
coloured her perceptions. She had learned, indeed, to know that there
are difficulties in attempting to enact the part of Providence, and
taking upon herself the task of providing for her fellow-creatures; but
these difficulties had nothing to do with the fact that she would
herself suffer by such a dispersion. Perhaps her imagination was not
lively enough to realise this part of the situation. Jock and she
ignored it altogether. As for Jock, the delight of giving away was
strong in him, and the position was so strange that it fascinated his
boyish imagination. To act such a part as that of Haroun-al-Raschid in
real life, and change the whole life of whatsoever poor cobbler or
fruit-seller attracted him, was a vision of fairyland such as Jock had
not yet outgrown. But the chief thing that he impressed on his sister
was the necessity of doing nothing by herself. "Just wait till we can
talk it over," he said, "two are always better than one: and a fellow
learns a lot at school. You wouldn't think it, perhaps, but there's all
sorts there, and you learn a lot when you have your eyes well open. We
can talk it all over and settle if it's good enough; but don't go and be
rash, Lucy, and do anything by yourself."
"I sha'n't, dear; I should be too frightened," Lucy said.
This was on one of his last days, when they were walking together
through the shrubbery. It was September by this time, and he might have
been shooting partridges with Sir Tom, but Jock was not so much an
out-door boy as he ought to have been, and he preferred walking with his
sister, his arm thrust through hers, his head stooping over her. It was
perhaps the last opportunity they would have of discussing their family
secrets, a matter (they thought) which really concerned nobody else,
which no one else would care to be troubled with. Perhaps in Lucy's mind
there was a sense of unreality in the whole matter; but Jock was
entirely in earnest, and quite convinced that in such an important
business he was his sister's natural adviser, and might be of a great
deal of use. It was towards evening when they went out, and a red
autumnal sunset was accomplishing itself in the west, throwing a gleam
as of the brilliant tints which were yet to come, on the still green and
luxuriant foliage. The light was low, and came into Lucy's eyes, who
shaded them with her hand. And the paths had a touch of autumnal damp,
and a certain mistiness, mellow and golden by reason of the sunshine,
was rising among the trees.
"We will not be hasty," said Jock; "we will take everything into
consideration: and I don't think you will find so much difficulty, Lucy,
when you have me."
"I hope not, dear," Lucy said; and she began to talk to him about his
flannels and other precautions he was to take; for Jock was supposed not
to be very strong. He had grown fast, and he was rather weedy and long,
without strength to support it. "We have been so happy together," she
said. "We always were happy together, Jock. Remember, dear, no wet feet,
and as little football as you can help, for my sake."
"Oh, yes," he said, with a wave of his hand; "all right, Lucy. There is
no fear about that. The first thing to think of is poor old father's
will, and what you are going to do about it. I mean to think out all
that about the examinations, and I suppose I may speak to MTutor----"
"It is too private, don't you think, Jock? Nobody knows about it. It is
better to keep it between you and me."
"I can put it as a supposed case," said Jock, "and ask what he would
advise; for you see, Lucy, you and even I are not very experienced, and
MTutor, he knows such a lot. It would always be a good thing to have his
advice, you know; he----"
There was no telling how long Jock might have gone on on this subject.
But just at this moment a quick step came round the corner of a clump of
wood, and a hand was laid on the shoulder of each. "What are you
plotting about?" asked the voice of Sir Tom in their ears. It was a
curious sign of her mental condition which Lucy remembered with shame
afterwards, without being very well able to account for it, that she
suddenly dropped Jock's arm and turned round upon her husband with a
quick blush and access of breathing, as if somehow--she could not tell
how--she had been found out. It had never occurred to her before,
through all those long drawn out consultations, that she was concealing
anything from Sir Tom. She dropped Jock's arm as if it hurt her, and
turned to her husband in the twinkling of an eye.
"Jock," she said quickly, "and I--were talking about MTutor, Tom."
"Ah! once landed on that subject, and there is no telling when we may
come to an end," Sir Tom said, with a laugh, "but never mind, I like you
all the better for it, my boy."
Jock gave an astonished look at Lucy, a half-defiant one at her husband.
"That was only by the way," he said, lifting up his shoulders with a
little air of offence. He did not condescend to any further explanation,
but walked along by their side with a lofty abstraction, looking at them
now and then from the corner of his eye. Lucy had taken Sir Tom's arm,
and was hanging upon her tall husband, looking up in his face. The
little blush of surprise--or was it of guilt?--with which she had
received him was still upon her cheek. She was far more animated than
usual, almost a little agitated. She asked about the shooting, about the
bag, and how many brace was to Sir Tom's own gun, with that conciliating
interest which is one of the signs of a conscious fault; while Sir Tom,
on his side bending down to his little wife, received all her flatteries
with so complacent a smile, and such a beatific belief in her perfect
sincerity and devotion, that Jock, looking on from his superiority of
passionless youth, regarded them both with a wondering disdain. Why did
she "make up" in that way to her husband, dropping her brother as if she
had been plotting harm? Jock was amazed, he could not understand it.
Perhaps it was only because he thus fell in a moment from being the
chief object of interest to the position of nobody at all.